What Are The Rules o Co-Parenting When Relocating?
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- Опубликовано: 8 июл 2024
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For young ppl listening who dont have kids yet, be more intentional and focus on building a family before having kids. We need to build more stronger familiy units that move together so kids dont grow up on this kind of stress and divide. Ppl already coparenting make it work n do what they gotta do, but dont let that be your goal
Women relocating, there is no conversation they just leave
Men relocating, we have to communicate
Perfect example is the girl who called saying her family is most important as her mom and dad..so I’m just wondering what her kids and husband mean to her?
Exactly
That isn't true legally. Y'all don't exercise your rights and blame everyone else.
@@djacobs427 it’s always about rights you know what happens even if the roles are reversed the mom still keeps the custody
You all usually aren’t the custodial parent.
How u have 5 kids with several women and still trying to establish himself?
Here's a thought: STOP HAVING KIDS WITH PEOPLE YOU'RE NOT MARRIED TO!
Divorce doesn't happen
Boom! Prevention is easier than cure. And lets not be coy like most of these are from divorce. Nobody's getting divorced 5x. Stop it😂
@@djacobs427Exactly divorce happens all the time
Whew. It’s stressful just listening to Jess describe this situation. 😢Jess, your situation will not be “traditional” unless you’re married to the new child’s father.
Rome has 5 young kids with 4 baby mothers & he’s leaving them all for a more secure gig? Nothing to discuss… he may or may not see them over summers. These conversations are why we need to encourage not having multiple kids out of wedlock.
So if they divorce is it not sane situation?
@@Tyweezy84true. But she didn’t describe a “divorce” situation. She described baby mamas & daddies. I don’t think someone divorcing & relocating away from kids is as common.
@@speaktruthpeace1612 people divorce and relocate all the time. 🤣 Being married doesn't guarantee anything... It's not even better at a higher rate than not being married. at this point kids need to learn that it's ok to adapt to new situations, especially if they are healthy ones. 👌🏾
"Moral of the story" is the caller, Julian is the best Father ever! 🥰😇💙
Julian the real MVP. I love his dedication to his seed 💪🏾
Yup...bro should get a trophy...LOL Sad thing is that the common denominator in his & most cases is that the father is automatically defaulted as the "noncustodial" parent. His diligence paid off...but no father who wants to be in his kid(s) life should have to go through all of the hills and valleys that this system, by default, has created. Prior to the 60s or 70s custody of kids went to fathers. They changed it with the idea of the mom being the "nurturer" or "nonworking" parent. That needs to change because people claim to want equality in all things so they cannot leave custody of kids out of that.
I’ll fix my situation where I’m at, I’m a father, protector, provider, and you can’t do any of that not being in the same place as your children… it’s selfish to think or believe that moving away is better for the kids… crazy yo
Julian brought tears to my eyes, Man I respect him top tier
I think that often adults don’t prioritize their children and their needs over themselves or their feelings. But in order to co-parent effectively with one another feelings and the relationship history has to take a back seat, each side needs to over communicate (effectively), consider the ultimate goal, and be prepared to collaborate, compromise and give grace even when it doesn’t seem like it is feasible. Being able to pivot, and see what other family members can offer help and contribute to the wellbeing of the child(dren)
What is best for the children. Not easy though
Perfect Response
Massive Respect. I wish more adults had this mindset.
How about we stop thinking it’s best to grow apart and put the work in to fix the relationship you wanted in the first place
You must be young. Shit doesn’t work out sometimes.
You can’t fix certain things with certain people . Boundaries can be crossed to where you can never be with a person ever again
@@ddoubleu170 it didnt work FIVE TIMES??
Agreed. Or try to build family first and dont let kids "jus happen" with someone you barely know or have any commitment too. Prevention is easier than cure
@@ddoubleu170cuz people like you only like the sex and don’t put the work in before creating life. Stop making excuses.
Communication...currently in this situation now.
Get a lawyer.. get milage stipulations
Julian is the definition of dedicated father!!!
Good convo.
I remember my pops moved to the A & I had so much stuff going on I wished he was there but I understood he was tryna make a way🎯
Dont have kids until you're already the better version of yourself mentally and financially. Dont have kids before working on the basic self developments.
Agree.
More importantly, dont have kids out of wedlock. Dont aim to be a parent or jus have kids, stive to build a FAMILY.
@@svpcharls Not everyone believes in marriage... and Being married doesn't change anything when people get divorced all the time and still in this situation. 😂 People shouldn't have kids until they are in better financial situations. 👌🏾
The children should come first. Co-parenting from different households is hard enough. It isn't fair for the child to have to do multi- state reaidency.
Advice to the men! GO TO COURT FIRST!!!
Better advice, choose a wife before procreating
I was an Army brat and I primarily stayed with my mom unless she was overseas. If she was stateside it wasn't even an option for me to live with my Dad. She made sure that I went with my Dad whenever the times presented themselves (Spring Break, Christmas, Summer Break etc.) I feel primarily kids should stay with the mother, but definitely be sent to the fathers house a few times out the year.
I am a army veteran and agree. My daughter's dad is still active duty and just pcs'd. Our daughter primarily lives with me but is currently with dad for the summer...we do holidays etc...drama free🙏🏽🫶🏽
Well first and foremost if another parent moves out of state from their child, it’s not co parenting! I understand all that moving to better your situation but please know, you’re not co parenting
If its 50/50 gotta go through the courts if dad isn't involved i can see why they just move. interesting how a majority of the women just assume the kids come with them.
Exactly...that is the crazy idiotic selfish mindset that too many have. The majority automatically assumes that kids go with the woman by default. Too many judge these situations solely based on unmarried relationships based on men leaving them. They don't look at marital relationships. Relocation shouldn't be an option following a divorce....or not for a certain period of time. Why? Many move to get away from the other person, but don't take the kid(s) into consideration. Many move out of spite. Point being, people need to have to emotions calmed down so that they can actually make decisions in the best interest of the kid(s). Jess is wrong. She speaks as if she "owns" her kids and is allowed to "lease" them to the father.
Jess your son is a pre-teen.. - you can’t raise a man.. Ask your son who will he like to live with…
Being a "man" is subjective and up to each individual what kind of man they want to be. 👌🏾He is a human being first... She can still effectively teach him how to be a good decent human being. 👌🏾
Should have gotten the mileage stipulations in the court proceedings... I did
When my son turns 12 he will be with his dad full time. I’m dreading it being that I don’t like for my kids to be away from home nomore then 2-3 days. But I know it’d be best for my son. I can’t raise a boy and I know that.
Thank you!!
The courts will always side with the mother, so the father has to follow or communicate over the phone.. I saw this happened with my friend, and he had dual custody. He fought it for a few years and gave up...
Primary parent gets them during the school year, parent who moved outta state gets them over the summer..
How about get married and work through your problems before divorce
You must be in high school because almost everybody who gets divorced do try to work out their problems but it just doesn't work a lot of the time.
I have to disagree. Some issues can't be worked out regardless of your relationship , and that's when you should walk away for the well-being of everyone.
Caught up on the videos just to see which 1 charla would talk about the Not Like Us vídeos & nothing so far 💔
I needed this. Getting a divorce and I want to move for better jobs but I dont want to leave my kids.
That fork in the road is a tough spot to be in for sure.
If a man asks for his son FT as much as a decent Mother doesn’t want to “give up” her cub some of y’all need to let it happen so these youngins can have balance. Once they hit those teenage years it’s enough with the coddling. Let the men do their part! My opinion. Some Moms got sht on lock they are stern and have back bone. Some choose to scream and yell as their form of communication and I believe that’s the worse for any child girl or boy.
Men should already be doing their part prior to their teenage years, so the balance should already be established. 👌🏾the child is its own individual person and will be the man or woman they want to be as they should... It's both parents job to teach y'all kids how to be decent human beings. 👌🏾
My opinion...respect both as parents first. Have a great relationship with your child no matter what. If you've went to a divorce have a custody agreement in place. And always separate your egos from the situation. My ex wife said the same thing as Jess. She married a man and then he join the military. Now my daughter who was 12 at the time didn't wanna leave. My son who was 9 didn't wanna his mom to move somewhere and forget about him. Plus they had a little brother from her new relationship. I went to my ex wife and asked just like Rome and got that same NO. Eventually they did move. It's definitely been some hills and valleys. My daughter is with me now and doesn't really speak to her mom. My son has his issues with his mom but he says he wants to stick it out since he has 4 more years of school. But I think a lot of the time it's hard to tell people to do what's in the best interest of the child. Because they will automatically assume that they are the best interest. They can't remove they're egos. And this is why my daughter doesn't speak to her mom now.
Give the children to the fathers 😮
First apply for a motion for relocation. All this must go through the courts and have everything on paper.
Yall got a typo in the title fam
Maybe it was Jess 🤔
🤔4:51 I'm lost, was she talking abt her as a child or her with her kids father🙃
I believe the parent who relocated should be more liable for transportation, but it doesn’t they should take on the full responsibility.
Communication
Moral of the story: Don't have kids out of wedlock. Be wise out here fellas and ladies.
Even if you get married and have kids doesn't mean you're safe lol that divorce rate is pretty high and you'll be in the same situation
Im married going thru a divorce, if i could relocate I would but the father is a narc n wants me alone with no family or support. Wedlock or not relocation depending on the situation is in the childs best interest
My exhusband and I live in different states. Florida and Texas. When you actually go through a divorce, there's also a child custody case that follows, automatically. In that case is where you produce some sort of schedule that's best for the children and the courts decide on who's the custodial parent and/or a joint or shared agreement, etc. That's what you go by, what the court finalizes. That's the way it works. Because my exhusband is not the best father, I was awarded sole custody (which is not an easy decision for the court, so trust that it must be proven to the courts why you deserve sole custody). Our daughter was born here in Texas with me, has always lived with me through our marriage and separation leading to divorce, so I automatically had jurisdiction, and she remains with me until she's 18. Her father is supposed to come see her once a month, which he doesn't because he has every excuse in the world as to why he can't follow the order, so she sees him when it's convenient for him. I've given him MUCH grace, but he is who he is, and my baby and I are GOOD. 🤷🏾♀
Respectfully...why is his "visitation" so limited? What I mean is that Florida and Texas aren't next door neighbors. Travel isn't cheap. Most cases result in having holidays and other events with the other parent. On the other hand, I do understand that people do come up with excuses as to why they won't go. I hear them all of the time.
@@rickeymiller8998 This happened because for 2 years straight he abandoned her. Never came to see her once, sent no money to help with her needs financially, he even hit me up to say he was coming to see her for her 1st birthday and the day he was due to arrive, he just went silent. No explanation, no call to say happy birthday, didn't even send a birthday card. He even quit his job after having me to drop her health insurance in order to add her to his, which cause my baby to go for months without medical coverage. Due to his absence and lack of showing interest as a father, his daughter not even recognizing him as her father, and him not even showing up for court dates for family court, the judge finalized a visitation "step up plan" in order for him and our daughter to actually get to know one another first. There's phases to it. He has to prove himself of being an interested and dedicated father and as he does, her availability to him increases.
However, because I have sole custody, I actually have the right to step outside of the court order and allow him more time, in which I have indeed, but he still isn't coming more. His last visit I offered him to stay longer to see her more days, but because he's cheap and selfish, he didn't. Not every man truly wants to be the father they claim. It is what it is.
@@rickeymiller8998 Sorry for the long a$$ explanation! 🤦🏾♀ but it's deep. I've encouraged him to step up more, but he truly is a man full of excuses. His mother and father were married for 40 years before his father passed, but it hasn't encouraged him to be a better man. His mother apologized to me because she feels she spoiled him and ruined him. I didn't see it in him until after we married. He is who he is, and he's simply self-centered and selfish.
@@rickeymiller8998 I don't even know if you saw my response because I'm not seeing it now. Idk what's up with RUclips.
@@rickeymiller8998 He was given a strict visitation due to his lack of showing up as her father. He was absent for 2 years straight of her life, never helped me with providing for her needs, missed required family court appearances, didn't even show up for her very first birthday after assuring me he'd come.
The judge finalized a visitation "step up plan" which is based on phases and simply gives he and our daughter an opportunity to actually get to know one another. He's practically a stranger to her due to his own actions. Being that I'm the sole conservatory parent, I'm allowed to give him more time if I choose which I have indeed offered. He doesn't step up. His last visit I offered him to stay longer to see her for more than a day, but he was to cheap to do it. 🤷🏾♀
Once completing phases, he would be allowed more of her time. It's all in an effort to encourage him to step up and be the parent she deserves.
She want a baby sitter. Lmao
My opinion is if the primary wants to move to another state, the secondary should have to consent to the child leaving the state permanently…
I think moving across country when you have small children is selfish and can be damaging, like Jess is saying she want her kids around, and she wants to be a present hands on parent so how can you do that in another state, unless you have the money to travel back and forth you cant up and leave like that 1 to 4 hours away is reasonable because they can still do weekends
Jess prioritizing herself with those kids when the Father is holding the boy down while she traveled. Regular lengthy visits should be locked in to Dad like kids who visit their home country to ensure the influence balance.
Unrelated, but don't let Jess fix anyone's mess until she fixes that messy clock.
Stop having kids before you have life together. Shit not that hard
Shocker she’s not with both dads
Envy is soo glib. He thinks "higher" educational rankings & "safer" community scores means "better". So "self hate" & possible "depression" from living in these spaces is just a trade off?
huh! what are you trying to say!
All I heard from Jess was me me me. Not what the child wants…
Because she's the primary parent secondly. Rome isn't even set up to take on that task. Clearly you lived where you're at all your life. Ish is a process. Why set her child up
That’s not Tome fault you missed out
Yall do know wedlock don't mean forever right. That is not the answer.
Knowing and having good communication with the person you're having a baby with is how you prepare for this.
Slow like a 🐢
Why Charlemagne have to always be against envy?
Two parents in a house is traditional
Unless abuse is involved. There’s so many different scenarios.
If you an working class man you have no say
A single mother wanting to keep a 12 year old boy when his dad wants to be in his life 24/7 is crazy .. he about to be of man AGE and need to learn how to be one .. Jess sure as hell ain’t gone teach him to be one .. let dad cook
Teach him what? how to have 5 kids by 5 women and still not be self sufficient?
Jess a single mother already damn
How about have these conversations before you have kids. Many of yall would be surprised and invest in contraceptives.
She’s looking at the nurturing side but he’s 12 becoming to be a man and he needs his father at this moment in time
F this bull Where’s Dr. Umar ! Post that damn it
😂😂has he been back?
No one ever thinks about it beforehand. Dude already had 4 kids. Are you serious Jess? Too much dysfunction.
He had those kids afterwards
Marry before you have children
Haven't watched but did Less I mean Jess Hilarious talk sh!t about her ex baby Daddy yet Again. Now if it was the other way around, y'all would be screaming "Bitter" or "Who Hurt You!?"
Julian 🫡🫡🫡
If my child has been living with me since birth, where I go, my child go - simple. You dont get to take the child just because i change address FOH LOL
Odd question
Unfortunately, Men we don't excise our rights. My kid mother left town. I put kidnapping charges on her ass. It sucks we have to go to court to establish rights, but her mom whole life was in my name.😂😂 she never held a job longer than a couple weeks. So long story less long i agreed let my child go, but NO COURT mandated child support.
I probably not even going have kids 😂. that would require sex right. but if I did have kids. I didn't have a father growing up. so I would have to live wherever my kids are.. I couldn't do holidays or whatever. no opportunity more important then seeing my kids 🤷 but I not going judge what others doing . it hard.
The rules are woman can move and take kids wherever they want and they don’t care how you feel either way involved or not, law on they side big dog
That’s bull
The fact that females, believe that they should be primary guardian is bull, when life doesn’t come out of them until our life goes in
Jess is wrong. She speaks as if she "owns" her kids and is allowed to "lease" them to the father.
Allowing a person to relocate with kids needs to be taken more seriously. If a person is in the military and has to PCS that's a totally different story. On the civilian side, people usually have employment where both parents reside. Both parents having access to the kids is easy and beneficial to the kids. Divorces are hard enough on kids...distancing them just adds flame to that fire. It's sad that the automatic assumption in situations like this is that the mother is to have "custody". It takes two to create a child. The bs about her carrying it for 9months and the mom being the "parent" is a load of crap. That was the choice that 2 people made. She didn't tell him to "pull out". Both make the choice...both are parents...both should be in the kid(s) lives. Divorces end marriages. They aren't supposed to divorce kids from a parent. Many automatically make plans to move and take kids with them following a divorce....that's wrong. They do so wanting a "fresh start" for themselves not taking into consideration that the kids don't need that same "fresh start". That's why I say that relocations should be take way more seriously than they are. They're not light choices.
I know Rome tired of them using him in there discussions is they paying this men if I was him I would sue...
😂😂😂
Every time they speak on him it's in a positive light so sue for what😏😏😏😏 they're bigging him up if anything. 😒😒 I doubt his name is even Rome. We shorten names. More like Jerome so blah
@lboogie83 so what that men is some where living his life minding his own business
This just turned into women calling in to complain about the fathers of their children 😂
Julian brought tears to my eyes, Man I respect him top tier