I read this book a while ago and loved it, and the video was awesome too! The only part I personally disagree with though is the swimming lessons. I'm Australian and live on the coast so swimming lessons are an absoloute necessity here from infancy for safety reasons. If your kids spend a lot of time around water, teaching them how to swim is as important as teaching them not to touch the stove, if not more important.
my niece is French and she grew up following these rules. is an independent child. she was always joyful and eat anything 😀😀.. I wish i read this book 2 years ago!
before 7, they "learn" not to panique, to float and reach the border of swimming pool. The real swimming is teach later when the child have a better coordination.
I think this reading should be mandatory for parents In the UK. I’ve worked in education for 10 years and the helicopter parenting and over scheduling has created a generation of children that are insanely self entitled.
That entire teaching Patience and letting kids get bored is really a good idea I have a 12 niece and 15 nephew and they have no patience and omg I'm bored I'm bored all the time they don't know how to entertain themselves
I lhave and love this book for my upcoming baby. I really wish we had the support system the French do. Makes me want to move there! Not really possible, but they seem a great culture. Thanks for the video!
Not talking over adults' conversation without being allowed to speak, and not throwing food EVER, are two I agree with wholeheartedly, yet did not see other parents practice in UK.
Thank you so much! I am American and love my country...but American parenting culture is ridiculous. I have a three-month old and am trying to incorporate more of the French approach to family dynamics and manners.
This was insightful and made me want to read the book. Thank you! Cultural differences are so interesting. For example in Australia we see swimming as a crucial skill for survival because there are so many backyard pools and beaches. So letting them just awaken in water until 7 is sweet but would be reckless in our environment.
Definitely going to read this, thanks for such a great review- so much of this is really helpful. Yes too no snacking constantly and teaching them to be safe, and to being awakened and so much more! Really helpful to have our cultures assumptions challenged. Friends of mine are raising their British children in Italy and have found a lot of those ‘French traits’ like the meals and quality childcare to be a real asset!
I did like this. Wish I had heard it years ago, as my son is 27 now. However he does have good manners which I think he picked up from how we treated him and how we treated others. Respect is a big word in our household. Although I am from Yorkshire, I live in Alabama and my son was born here. There is something about the Southern culture here in the States that puts a lot of emphasis on good manners - calling people sir or ma’am, which I have really come to appreciate. Enjoyed your video, I am a recent subscriber and I am working my way through your play list.
Hi Rachel- just wanted to wish you all the best with your new baby. I had mine my boy last week and it is the most wonderful time enjoying the baby moon! Hope you have a good experience and are enjoying new born cuddles super soon xxxxx
Becca Thomas hi Becca! Ahh wow huge congratulations!! No baby yet for me! Just taking some time out to chill before he comes. How lovely! Thanks for telling me! 😘😘😘
My children are now grown ups but when they were growing up I only had a few rules but they were strictly enforced, good sleep patterns, eat what is put in front of you, say please & thank you, do nothing to annoy other people i.e no loud games or music, no dropping litter etc and tell me where you are and who you are with (as they got older and more independent). They were only allowed to do a couple of after school activities (partly couldn't afforded it) and they were encouraged to relay on their own resources to entertain themselves. They played out a lot just as I had done as a child. I am a grandparent and I have my grandchildren 3 days a week so I enforce the same rules. I am the grown up and not their slave as seems to often be the case these days, I have seen parents being spoken to in such an appalling way, I have never stood for that sort of behaviour and my grandson is just learning that I still won't stand for it. Good luck with the new baby, hope all goes well.
I am pregnant with my first child and I'm going to read this book. In America it's common practice to "Helicopter Parent" your kids and it doesn't seem like it is better for anyone's mental health.
I confirm lot of truth here, plus very soon we talk to babies as if they were adults (almost). Because here you're judged with your language level. If your child doesn't speak or behaves well you are a bad parent
I read this book whilst pregnant, living in France and being a nanny! I love the French approach and I apply a lot of the principles. But have to say not all French families live by this, or maybe just the 3 families I worked for! 😆
Yes I imagine that is the case - I think she says this is a very Parisian style of parenting and that not all French parents are like this. Interesting comment, thanks. X
You explained it really well and I really enjoyed this! I like a lot of it including 'le pause' and being 'sage'. I have to say though that I couldn't help having a concerned reaction to 'all French children do this or that..." I don't know, and I may be concerned over nothing, but that approach to me doesn't include children with special needs specially those with things like autism. Those children simply don't fit boxes and in my experience much pain and suffering is experienced when they are expected or forced to try to fit them. The 'all children do this' approach, must simply point up and exclude those that can't, and I wonder how that feels? It sounds inclusive, but I think it could actually be the opposite....all very interesting, though! and thanks for the video, I enjoyed :-) xxx
Jess K yes great point, it doesn’t mention ‘special needs’ kids at all. But overall it’s a good book and really makes you think about parenting styles and approaches and how they differ culturally xx
Just out of interest I did some googling (I know, not scientific but an overview) and saw some articles talking about France's pretty shocking approach to autism - there's a Guardian article which states that only 20% of diagnosed autistic kids are even in school as opposed to 70% elsewhere! France is described as 50 years behind in their approach. So yes, while I like what you described of this book and can imagine it works well for the neurotypical child, I would hate to think of anyone with a SN child trying to make their kid 'fit' some of this - it's obviously not an inclusive culture in some ways. You're right though - fascinating to see the cultural differences!
@@jessk7240 Are you in the US? I ask because it's not so uncommon in Europe that pregnancies with detected developmental disabilities are terminated. Europeans by and large simply don't experience the same kind of moral hand-wringing that we do here in the US with regard to abortion, and the result is that there simply are far fewer special needs children in their populations.
Great video, I partly read this when I was pregnant. My son is now 6 months! I feel like all of this has gone out of the window! He refuses the bottle and sleeps in our bed! I would love to know if I had parented differently if he would be any different!?!? Who knows...
Jessica Scott - does the book share any practical tips on how to parent? He probably would, but he’s six months old so you still have time to apply all the other parenting tips.
Before the kids was very well behaved showed respect to the parents and their elders, didn't swear, dressed up decently ate what we gave to them until it fall apart with the baby king, the baby princess, the baby so special who have a 🏆 even he or she doesn't deserve it we all can to see the result now🙄 the kids make their own law act like brat . I am french and I can to tell you than was back in the day all died after the generation X.
Fortunately!!! Liberalism is the way to go!! In any case, French child-rearing is more liberal than the average American... America is not only the North-East, but also Texas. This book is a lie.
It’s all about culture difference. The US and France are super different in many ways. They US is an individualistic country where children have to have extracurricular activities and take AP classes if they want a chance at a “good education”. Food is also super different at school, I have never eaten a burger in France for lunch, or drank milk instead of water! French people don’t have Ivy leagues, so there is no pressure to overbook your child on activities. We teach them basic respect by saying thank you, please, hi and may I. I can’t conceive anything else, and frankly as a French person living in the US, it is hard to know what kids go through, especially at school (food and pressure). I don’t want to raise my child with that mentality.
😂😂😂😂 Are you trolling right??? US a individualist country? Yeah as China... But the US the least individualist country of the Wesetern world.... France is individualist just not neoliberal. And not everybody nazi parent in France.... Normal parents in France is liberals....
@@samsunggalaxys20fe82 are you hard of understanding? The US is the most individualistic country in the world. It’s part of its fabric, DNA and constitution. What a bizarre comment.
@@katie8325 You are the one who doesn't understand... USA IS NOT AN INDIVIDUALIST COUNTRY!! The USA is a dictatorship and the society is extremely collectivist. In the USA, the community is valued at a level never seen in Europe. In Europe, there is normal social care, but this does not mean that Europe is not individualistic, the USA is. Economic policy in the USA is neoliberal, but that's all there is to it. There is no freedom in the USA and the society considers the opinions of others and integration into the community very important. In a garden town in the USA, the residents' assembly can specifically vote on who should have what color mailbox in their own garden. This would be unthinkable in Europe.
@@katie8325 In addition, child rearing in the USA is extremely medieval and oppressive and authoritarian. In the USA, the whole society is authoritarian. An oppressive dictatorship with the death penalty is still like it was in Europe in the Middle Ages. In the USA, the prison conditions are bad and the punishments are very harsh. The entire state and police violence in the USA is 100% systemic.
Have you read "french women dont get fat"? Sounds similar concept. Interesting ideas, dobyou think with our 8 year old its too late to start??? Lol!! Dxx
Deborah Nicholson Yeah I’ve heard of that book, there’s some useful tips there. I especially like the three course meals French people tend to eat it as it helps reduce snacking.
It's sad how little of this comes through in American parenting. Working hard to implement this style then to just see it fall apart in daycare is not something I am looking forward to.
French parents?? I have just listened to the author of the book on the BBC Radio. The woman cannot single out French women for being nurturing, polite and disciplined. This is not a French idea. It's obvious common sense. I went to my child when they needed me and when they were content not when they made the slightest sound nor tired niggles. They all slept right through from exactly 3 months and never regressed.
There are a few good things in their way of parenting, which are common sense, but I totally do not like the fact that they let kids cry for a long time!! Sometimes kids may only need a human contact/connection, just like we adults do. To me sometimes they treat children as if they are in military school. (I am not French and I live in France.)
I don't think the book advocates letting your child cry for a long time, just not sprint as soon as your child stirs. Paediatricians say that sometimes you child makes some sounds even if he's not fully awake, just going from one cycle of sleep to another. If you come running and take him in your arms it might disturb his sleep pattern. But of course if a baby cries for more than a couple of minutes there is usually a good reason for it.
@@LittrowTaurus that's it. Don't jump if the baby cry, listen to the cry, only or 2 minutes. The baby could be in a sleeping period where he is moving, could cry, even laugh (sommeil agité) or between 2 sleeping cycles. We shouldn't leave alone a child cying except these 1 or 2 mn
I read this book a while ago and loved it, and the video was awesome too! The only part I personally disagree with though is the swimming lessons. I'm Australian and live on the coast so swimming lessons are an absoloute necessity here from infancy for safety reasons. If your kids spend a lot of time around water, teaching them how to swim is as important as teaching them not to touch the stove, if not more important.
my niece is French and she grew up following these rules. is an independent child. she was always joyful and eat anything 😀😀.. I wish i read this book 2 years ago!
I know so do I - 8 years ago lol! X
Read the book long before I had my daughter, who is now 13 months. Your video is a great refresher! Thanks!
One thing we teach is a child don't have to do emotional blackmail when he's frustrated. He can cry if he is hurt or sad but not if he is frustrate!
before 7, they "learn" not to panique, to float and reach the border of swimming pool. The real swimming is teach later when the child have a better coordination.
I think this reading should be mandatory for parents In the UK. I’ve worked in education for 10 years and the helicopter parenting and over scheduling has created a generation of children that are insanely self entitled.
Dirty Nazi!!
That entire teaching Patience and letting kids get bored is really a good idea I have a 12 niece and 15 nephew and they have no patience and omg I'm bored I'm bored all the time they don't know how to entertain themselves
"cadre" in French means "Frame" and as in English, it can also means a set of rules enforced to create a safe space within its confines.
I lhave and love this book for my upcoming baby. I really wish we had the support system the French do. Makes me want to move there! Not really possible, but they seem a great culture. Thanks for the video!
Not talking over adults' conversation without being allowed to speak, and not throwing food EVER, are two I agree with wholeheartedly, yet did not see other parents practice in UK.
Thank you so much! I am American and love my country...but American parenting culture is ridiculous. I have a three-month old and am trying to incorporate more of the French approach to family dynamics and manners.
Wish I knew about this when little one was still a baby. He’s 2 and a half. Going to start implementing this.
@@emacwakeup
It is never too late...
Child will adapt gently !
Hello from France.
This was insightful and made me want to read the book. Thank you!
Cultural differences are so interesting. For example in Australia we see swimming as a crucial skill for survival because there are so many backyard pools and beaches. So letting them just awaken in water until 7 is sweet but would be reckless in our environment.
Definitely going to read this, thanks for such a great review- so much of this is really helpful. Yes too no snacking constantly and teaching them to be safe, and to being awakened and so much more! Really helpful to have our cultures assumptions challenged. Friends of mine are raising their British children in Italy and have found a lot of those ‘French traits’ like the meals and quality childcare to be a real asset!
I did like this. Wish I had heard it years ago, as my son is 27 now. However he does have good manners which I think he picked up from how we treated him and how we treated others. Respect is a big word in our household. Although I am from Yorkshire, I live in Alabama and my son was born here. There is something about the Southern culture here in the States that puts a lot of emphasis on good manners - calling people sir or ma’am, which I have really come to appreciate. Enjoyed your video, I am a recent subscriber and I am working my way through your play list.
Alabama is a fascist shithole, if it were up to me, I'd destroyed its entire population...
Hi Rachel- just wanted to wish you all the best with your new baby. I had mine my boy last week and it is the most wonderful time enjoying the baby moon! Hope you have a good experience and are enjoying new born cuddles super soon xxxxx
Becca Thomas hi Becca! Ahh wow huge congratulations!! No baby yet for me! Just taking some time out to chill before he comes. How lovely! Thanks for telling me! 😘😘😘
I'm currently reading it. Your review helped. I'm feeding at French times.
My children are now grown ups but when they were growing up I only had a few rules but they were strictly enforced, good sleep patterns, eat what is put in front of you, say please & thank you, do nothing to annoy other people i.e no loud games or music, no dropping litter etc and tell me where you are and who you are with (as they got older and more independent). They were only allowed to do a couple of after school activities (partly couldn't afforded it) and they were encouraged to relay on their own resources to entertain themselves. They played out a lot just as I had done as a child. I am a grandparent and I have my grandchildren 3 days a week so I enforce the same rules. I am the grown up and not their slave as seems to often be the case these days, I have seen parents being spoken to in such an appalling way, I have never stood for that sort of behaviour and my grandson is just learning that I still won't stand for it. Good luck with the new baby, hope all goes well.
Sounds like you did a great job! X
Whys is Paris so dirty and full of litter then?
I am pregnant with my first child and I'm going to read this book. In America it's common practice to "Helicopter Parent" your kids and it doesn't seem like it is better for anyone's mental health.
much better for the child but stressful for the mother to be an "aircraft-carrier"
I confirm lot of truth here, plus very soon we talk to babies as if they were adults (almost). Because here you're judged with your language level. If your child doesn't speak or behaves well you are a bad parent
I really enjoyed this video! One of my viewers told me to come and watch! Thanks for doing this :) a agree with a lot of the points made x
Hi! Sorry I am late to replying! Yeah I agree with most of it, it's just old fashioned parenting really. X
I read this book whilst pregnant, living in France and being a nanny! I love the French approach and I apply a lot of the principles. But have to say not all French families live by this, or maybe just the 3 families I worked for! 😆
Yes I imagine that is the case - I think she says this is a very Parisian style of parenting and that not all French parents are like this. Interesting comment, thanks. X
@@rachelbrady it's not a parisian thing, it's more a traditionnal thing across France, even across Europe.
@@brigittelacour5055 This is Nazi things in France or in Europe and Middle Ages things. This is the 21. century!!
French parenting is more liberal than American parenting! Much. Of course, there are Nazis in France too, but this book is fake.
@@rachelbradyThis is not true. Paris a liberal City. This is Nazi parenting.
You explained it really well and I really enjoyed this! I like a lot of it including 'le pause' and being 'sage'. I have to say though that I couldn't help having a concerned reaction to 'all French children do this or that..." I don't know, and I may be concerned over nothing, but that approach to me doesn't include children with special needs specially those with things like autism. Those children simply don't fit boxes and in my experience much pain and suffering is experienced when they are expected or forced to try to fit them. The 'all children do this' approach, must simply point up and exclude those that can't, and I wonder how that feels? It sounds inclusive, but I think it could actually be the opposite....all very interesting, though! and thanks for the video, I enjoyed :-) xxx
Jess K yes great point, it doesn’t mention ‘special needs’ kids at all. But overall it’s a good book and really makes you think about parenting styles and approaches and how they differ culturally xx
Just out of interest I did some googling (I know, not scientific but an overview) and saw some articles talking about France's pretty shocking approach to autism - there's a Guardian article which states that only 20% of diagnosed autistic kids are even in school as opposed to 70% elsewhere! France is described as 50 years behind in their approach. So yes, while I like what you described of this book and can imagine it works well for the neurotypical child, I would hate to think of anyone with a SN child trying to make their kid 'fit' some of this - it's obviously not an inclusive culture in some ways. You're right though - fascinating to see the cultural differences!
@@jessk7240 Are you in the US? I ask because it's not so uncommon in Europe that pregnancies with detected developmental disabilities are terminated. Europeans by and large simply don't experience the same kind of moral hand-wringing that we do here in the US with regard to abortion, and the result is that there simply are far fewer special needs children in their populations.
@@ZagnutBar you can’t detect autism in the womb, so that makes absolutely no sense.
Great video, I partly read this when I was pregnant.
My son is now 6 months!
I feel like all of this has gone out of the window! He refuses the bottle and sleeps in our bed!
I would love to know if I had parented differently if he would be any different!?!?
Who knows...
Jessica Scott - does the book share any practical tips on how to parent?
He probably would, but he’s six months old so you still have time to apply all the other parenting tips.
Before the kids was very well behaved showed respect to the parents and their elders, didn't swear, dressed up decently ate what we gave to them until it fall apart with the baby king, the baby princess, the baby so special who have a 🏆 even he or she doesn't deserve it we all can to see the result now🙄 the kids make their own law act like brat . I am french and I can to tell you than was back in the day all died after the generation X.
Fortunately!!! Liberalism is the way to go!! In any case, French child-rearing is more liberal than the average American... America is not only the North-East, but also Texas. This book is a lie.
It’s all about culture difference. The US and France are super different in many ways. They US is an individualistic country where children have to have extracurricular activities and take AP classes if they want a chance at a “good education”. Food is also super different at school, I have never eaten a burger in France for lunch, or drank milk instead of water! French people don’t have Ivy leagues, so there is no pressure to overbook your child on activities. We teach them basic respect by saying thank you, please, hi and may I. I can’t conceive anything else, and frankly as a French person living in the US, it is hard to know what kids go through, especially at school (food and pressure). I don’t want to raise my child with that mentality.
😂😂😂😂 Are you trolling right??? US a individualist country? Yeah as China... But the US the least individualist country of the Wesetern world.... France is individualist just not neoliberal. And not everybody nazi parent in France.... Normal parents in France is liberals....
@@samsunggalaxys20fe82 are you hard of understanding? The US is the most individualistic country in the world. It’s part of its fabric, DNA and constitution. What a bizarre comment.
@@katie8325 You are the one who doesn't understand... USA IS NOT AN INDIVIDUALIST COUNTRY!! The USA is a dictatorship and the society is extremely collectivist. In the USA, the community is valued at a level never seen in Europe. In Europe, there is normal social care, but this does not mean that Europe is not individualistic, the USA is. Economic policy in the USA is neoliberal, but that's all there is to it. There is no freedom in the USA and the society considers the opinions of others and integration into the community very important. In a garden town in the USA, the residents' assembly can specifically vote on who should have what color mailbox in their own garden. This would be unthinkable in Europe.
@@katie8325 In addition, child rearing in the USA is extremely medieval and oppressive and authoritarian. In the USA, the whole society is authoritarian. An oppressive dictatorship with the death penalty is still like it was in Europe in the Middle Ages. In the USA, the prison conditions are bad and the punishments are very harsh. The entire state and police violence in the USA is 100% systemic.
Thank you I wouldn't mind having a read of that book 📚 will give anything a try with my girls 😂😘
It's def worth a look if you like to follow quite a sensible old fashioned routine! X
Have you read "french women dont get fat"? Sounds similar concept. Interesting ideas, dobyou think with our 8 year old its too late to start??? Lol!! Dxx
Deborah Nicholson Yeah I’ve heard of that book, there’s some useful tips there. I especially like the three course meals French people tend to eat it as it helps reduce snacking.
It's sad how little of this comes through in American parenting. Working hard to implement this style then to just see it fall apart in daycare is not something I am looking forward to.
My thoughts exactly.
French parents?? I have just listened to the author of the book on the BBC Radio. The woman cannot single out French women for being nurturing, polite and disciplined. This is not a French idea. It's obvious common sense. I went to my child when they needed me and when they were content not when they made the slightest sound nor tired niggles. They all slept right through from exactly 3 months and never regressed.
Fascism is not sane... Fascism is fascism, but France is not that much more fascist than the USA.
There are a few good things in their way of parenting, which are common sense, but I totally do not like the fact that they let kids cry for a long time!! Sometimes kids may only need a human contact/connection, just like we adults do. To me sometimes they treat children as if they are in military school. (I am not French and I live in France.)
I don't think the book advocates letting your child cry for a long time, just not sprint as soon as your child stirs. Paediatricians say that sometimes you child makes some sounds even if he's not fully awake, just going from one cycle of sleep to another. If you come running and take him in your arms it might disturb his sleep pattern. But of course if a baby cries for more than a couple of minutes there is usually a good reason for it.
@@LittrowTaurus that's it. Don't jump if the baby cry, listen to the cry, only or 2 minutes. The baby could be in a sleeping period where he is moving, could cry, even laugh (sommeil agité) or between 2 sleeping cycles. We shouldn't leave alone a child cying except these 1 or 2 mn