8:14 be careful with this though. A hallmark of anxiety is avoiding the thing that makes you anxious. If you truly want to get past the anxiety, the best thing to do is challenge it. If you want to do this with an extreme fear I’d recommend seeking professional help so you don’t go about it wrong. There is however, a difference between taking care of yourself and not pushing yourself over the edge and just avoiding everything that makes you feel uncomfortable. The idea is to push yourself, but slowly.
Yeah, I know this is an old video but came here to say the same, clinical anxiety can spiral rapidly if people avoid all their triggers, that's how people end up agoraphobic and unable to leave the house without experiencing panic attacks
about a year ago now my dad came out to my family as asexual and started the divorce process with my mom, he’d been depressed for a while and he’s always been an anxious person (the other day i watched him have a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store and i had no idea how to help), and a couple months ago i told him about your youtube channel bcs he was watching another video about the differences between the us and uk and you’d reminded me of him for a while,, now he watches your videos all the time and any time i’m at his apartment he’s really excited to tell me about a video he’s watched (and i’ve watched your channel for a while too) and it’s made us closer, and it makes me really happy that he’ll see this video in his feed bcs it seems like exactly what he needs,, thanks for this evan
I find that physical activity in public makes me really anxious, but if I do plank, sit-ups or anything at home it does help a lot. I focus and feel relaxed afterwards. If that doesn't work for you too, I would suggest doing something you like doing, like drawing, reading or paiting or cleaning.
I went with a friend the first time I went to the gym, had a literal panic attack outside the gym but forced myself in the door and each time it’s easier. I guess find someone who can get you in the door and it goes up from there
I had sex for the first time at 23. I thought everything would be different after I lost my v card. Quite the opposite! Society builds up sex as this amazing magical thing. I think yoga feels better then sex tbh lol
I know what you mean. I was a virgin until the age of 30, and my biggest problem was that other people seemed to think it was their business and I even had colleagues offer to hire a prostitute for me, and I was like "no thanks, I'm fine".
@@SteamboatWilley That's really weird to be honest, your colleagues hiring a prostitute I mean. It is kind of odd that this kind of behavior is considered "normal." What business is it of theirs?
that breakfast thing is so cute. i get anxiety about eating breakfast due to recovering from an eating disorder. and to hear you say that feeling good is a good enough reason to eat in the morning makes me happy.
I am a mental health professional and thoroughly enjoyed your video, Evan. You are right on track with your supportive comments. I appreciate that you are aware of the things which trigger your anxiety. Honestly, that is the best place to be in. Even your thoughts on the avoidance of situations to manage anxiety are pretty sound. In the end though, one cannot always dodge those times (I know you said that - thank you). The simplest ways to manage include: 1. awareness of breath - follow the sensation in and out of your body; 2. tune into your fice senses - name one thing in each category; and 3. allow any thoughts to float away on the breeze - which may take some practice, but overall detaching from the negative thoughts is a great coping skill. Thanks for your video!
i used to say i look fat and ugly and never took compliments. you know what my friends did? they made a survey and passed it around school saying ‘do you think ___ is pretty?’ obviously they only asked people we knew so they all said yes, but it was so sweet and i loved them sm. to get like 20+ people saying you’re pretty. confidence: boosted
e r i n i thought that too, and i can certainly say that i’m sure people would say you’re pretty! if i knew they were doing this i’d think everyone would say no. but they didn’t. you may not see it because your mind is feeding you negative thoughts, but other people have neutral minds and can tell how pretty you are xxx
In 2007, I went to camhs (child and adolescent mental health service on the nhs) for an eating disorder and ptsd. I got in pretty fast. They were amazing. I was with them for more than a year. I was only discharged when both my psychiatrist and myself agreed I was ready for that. In 2013 ish, I went to adult services. Took several months to get an appointment and only had 6 weeks. Didn’t help much. Don’t know if the difference is camhs v adult, pre-recession v post-budget cuts, or eating disorder (weight loss was visible and measurable) v suicidal (invisible and not measurable). About a year after that, I attempted suicide. I then found moodjuice- a self help website by scottish NHS based on CBT. Somehow I found the motivation to do it myself and since I had experience with CBT at camhs, I was able to do it myself. I printed off all the worksheets, even the ones that didn’t seem relevant to me. For a few months, I didn’t work or study or do anything that wasn’t to benefit my mental health. I spent half an hour a day on the worksheets. I wrote a diary every day analysing my thoughts. I wrote letters I never intended to send (to exes, to my abuser, to my dead grandparents, etc). I didn’t drink any alcohol at all to make sure my antidepressants were working at their best. I made sure I walked my dog every day (fresh air + exercise + time with my dog). It annoys me that I had to do that alone and find the motivation to do it, without the NHS. I honestly have no idea where I got that motivation from and thinking back, I’m incredibly proud of myself that I managed to do that. I’m doing much better now. I haven’t self harmed or had suicidal thoughts or a panic attack in a few years and I’m not even on antidepressants anymore. But I still work on my mental health every day- I have something I read to myself every day that says things like ‘I am beautiful. I can handle conflict. I am confident.’ I didn’t feel any of those things when I started doing that daily but I do now. I’m also careful about who I follow on social media. And I write down three good things every day, whether that’s ‘I went to an amazing concert’ or ‘my dog exists’ or ‘I watched a cool youtube video’. Sometimes it’s hard to find three things, especially when I first started doing it, but now it’s a way to spot problems early. If I struggle to find three things every day for a week or so, I know things are going wrong and I need to put more effort into my mental health before it gets bad again. It’s taken years and years, and so much work. It would have been easier if the NHS had better mental health services, and I’m sure there are many many people who are unable to do it themselves and so it would be impossible without better nhs services. In fact, I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself if I hadn’t had that first good experience with camhs. But I got better. Things got better. Now I just have to keep them that way.
Nikki Williamson well done ! I also after counselling really focused on helping myself as well.. I also do daily affirmations, gratitude, really try not to listen to that voice in my head ( put it on mute), worked on my physical health... and now I'm training to be a counsellor to help others and I've learned so much, although I still struggle with my stress levels more notibly now I'm studying
"I'm not the bad guy." - Virgil Sanders aka Anxiety. Anxiety isn't good or bad, it's just there. We only see it as bad because we don't know enough about it. But without anxiety....where would we be? Would we be as sharp as we are without fear? I've learned that Anxiety was only bad cause I assumed it was. But it's just there-we can manage it and with my anxiety I find working out helps, and grounding techniques; counting in rhythm to a favorite song, and snapping oddly enough helps too lol.
@@skykopanek264 Honestly without Sanders Sides I'd literally hate myself for my anxiety but now I'm like "oh hey whaddup anxiety aight time to do my grounding techniques aight and....good" lol. Also Virgil is a precious anxious baby and MUST BE PROTECTED hahah
“Loving yourself is a practice, it is not going to feel natural.” Someone has said this already and it is true! It takes time but we can practice it by doing things that we like to do and slowly starting feeling better about ourselves :)
Another way to calm down and meditate is target shooting - I used to do that once a week after work and usually started spraying all over the target, so I concentrated harder until all of my hits were in the black - while not noticing that I had phased out every thought of work. So this meditative activity really calmed me down, to a point where the stance alone caused my blood pressure to drop, even during short breaks at work.
Your story about shutter island reminded me of when I watched a movie that included a guy dying in surgery *the night before* I had surgery and it totally freaked me out. I legit thought I was going to die in surgery
In the uk, even when I got referred to the mental health services as “urgent” it still took around 6 months to get my first introduction appointment (which is talking to a mental health nurse so they can decide who’s best for u to talk to). And then after that I had to wait an extra 2 months to actually talk to a psychologist
This was my experience too. In fact, it's now been over six months and I still haven't actually heard anything back. Just stuck in a weird limbo waiting for a health assessment decision, and feeling like I'm wasting my doctor's time going for a monthly fit note so HMRC doesn't screw me in the interim. Even though they might screw me with the assessment decision eventually anyway. Good vibes.
same! i went to that whilst they figured out who to send me to. i was young so they said group therapy. i told them the idea of that gave me anxiety, and they said alright and cancelled it. but never gave me anywhere else to go. love that
Yeah, I guess it's because the want you to get a private psych doctor? Kinda stupid, since mentally unhealthy people are, like, the least likely group to seek medical treatment (except for kids or whatever, cos kids can't call the doctor).
Thank you for making this video. I haven't been well mental health-wise recently and I've been keeping all that bottled up but this motivates me to possibly reach out to someone.
The voice you did for anxiety at 7:10 really made me laugh. Ik this isn’t the most thoughtful response to this video, but I just wanna say thanks for still being funny, even when speaking about serious thangs :)
Dealing with anxiety is a daily struggle. I heard increased protein for breakfast and cutting carbs can be a big factor. Its helped me. Not cured me but helped me out alot. Cheers.
well done for recognising your health status. :) Just remember, knowing that your mental health is in a bad place is the first step to getting it better. I hope you find something that helps you on that journey, as you are awesome. x
avoiding things that make me anxious is what's the problem. I don't think Evan and my anxiety-brrain agree on what can't be avoided. My brain definitely thinks uni can be avoided, so can phone calls, talking to friends, studying, going to exams, eating if it requires seeing people, leaving my flat if people can see me, and opening the door if people are knocking, ect. I'm actually working very hard with my therapist on not avoiding things that make me anxious :P
There's some great advice here. It can be very difficult with mental illness to fight against executive disfunction, making things like making breakfast, exercising, and other productive activities near impossible to actually carry out. The point is to not use it as an excuse but instead to recognize it when it is playing a role in hindering you from taking part in activities that would be beneficial for you and not allow this inactivity to demoralize you further.
Thanks for making this video Evan! Early 2019 wasn’t easy for me and after months of struggling I started counseling. It’s been the best thing ever and I feel mostly like myself again. I wish everyone could have the same experience and I feel very lucky that I’ve been able to go.
I want you to know that the video you made about your relationship with your dad and your grief when he died affected me deeply. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of your life.
Running helped me so much with my mental health, not only did it get rid of my nervous energy from my anxiety, give me time to myself but also the runners high afterwards really helped my moods not swing so much
I've never had a runner's high. Ever. Some people just don't get that effect and exercise will never have a positive effect in their mental health. Don't recommend it as a "treatment" for mental illness. It makes a lot of people who are seriously unwell feel worse.
@@strangekat2840 i was just wanting to say that like Evan said it helped him it helped me, of course exercise cannot cure depression. It helped with my anxiety sometimes not my depression
@@strangekat2840 and I never said it was a treatment. I understand why you are annoyed at my comment, for years people would say to exercise to make myself feel better. I still have depression no matter how often or much I run. I just wanted to comment that it is something that personally helped me, everyone is different.
Actually there are quite a few youtubers who discuss mental health. the Aspie World discusses it a *lot* (obviously) and even drs37078 did a video on the subject recently. I might have a go myself at some point.
Hey Evan, I didn’t know I would like that video that much. You said something that made me feel better: you said that we should try to avoid what made us feel anxious. It kinda validates what I’ve been thinking of doing in the last few months. I’ve been struggling to finish my masters. It was supposed to take 2 years but I’ve asked for 3 extra months because of the debilitating effect anxiety has on me. And although I love what I’m doing and I wish I could go on studying for years to come I think I have to stop, at least for a time. I’m going to finish my degree and then take a real break. Thanks for those few words that are quite comforting. Cheers And sorry for the long comment.
Wow, well done for doing your masters! :) Its always good to recognise your battery charge, as its impossible to go all out forever. A few months to recharge and reset will allow you to calm and then have the energy for the next step. Also, its great that you are planning on having your break after. Its very difficult to chill if you have unfinished stuff hanging over you. As you have made the decision to have a break, you can see this as the destination with the route through your masters, rather than the masters completion being the destination itself.
Carlie Griffiths Thanks for your message. I’m trying to keep this in mind and make sure I complete my masters before I embark on new adventures that will be more chill. ☺️
Evan, this is such an important topic and you did an excellent job starting the discussion! I discovered your channel during the worst depressive episode I have ever experienced and it really helped me get through it. Thank for bringing me such joy and inspiration. You truly make a positive impact in my life and I appreciate you. 💜
this video could not have come at a better time. I was triggered for the first time ever today. I never ever thought it would be something to happen to me. I have my mental health problems (depression, gender dysphoria, occasional anxiety) but me? being actually triggered? that thought never crossed my mind. it was a few hours ago, and I'm still kind of reeling from the experience. thanks for talking about this evan. lots of love.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I've had anxiety and panic attacks for a few years now and there is a lot of isolation that goes a long with it. It really helps to feel like I'm not the only one. Breakfast is 100% most exciting meal of the day
I found this really helpful, I'm 35 with 2 children and suffer from panic attacks that have prevented me being able to do things with them such as cinema trips, shopping, anything other than our daily routine really. I have a Dr's appointment for this week now, thank you 💕
Im from the UK I had to wait over 6 months for 6 free counselling sessions and it helped but it was such a long time that I couldnt really afford to wait. You’re very privileged I work in the civil service and had disciplinary action because of taking too much time off because of my mental health. I had to fight it and I lost because the company doesn’t care it’s policy. I appreciate you addressing this topic.
About avoiding the thing that makes you anxious..you really need to be careful with avoiding. Taking a break for calming down and then coming back to it - totally fine. But avoiding it completely will most likely make the anxiety worse
What a nice idea to talk about anxiety publicly! Especially when so many people watch your videos. I've suffered from GAD (generalized anxiety) for five years and there are good and bad period, of course. But the positive aspect of it all is that you get to grow as a person and you get much better at managing your emotions. I agree with most of Evan's tips, especially the one concerning sport. I do body balance (a mix of pilates, yoga and taichi) twice a week, and workout another two and it feels great thanks to the chemicals in your brain.
Never been so early. Love this video. Definitely needs to be talked about more as it’s the only way people will understand what it is and how normal it is. Love that your not afraid to talk about controversial issues that shouldn’t be controversial.
great video.. I suffer with low self esteem, anxiety and depression in the past and received CBT counselling via my GPS surgery. I had over the 10 weeks and found it really helpful so I suppose it depends where in the country you are for the amount of sessions they give you. it was a really long waiting time though. I am currently studying to be a counsellor and the one thing I have found helpful is to learn about what causes mental health problems, why they start and what you can work on to protect your mental health. A lecturer of mine told us a simple metaphor that really struck a cord with me which is to think of your mind like a garden so " why would you choose to water the weeds in your mind instead of the flowers ?" meaning don't allow the horrible thoughts about yourself to grow, rip them out.
When I get anxious I turn to music, I have curated playlists for each mood, including one for when I feel low, and one to feel good. I also write in my notebook (whenever I feel it's best to get my emotions out), whether it's thoughts on a page (which I don't even try to make sense), poems, songs or a diary entry. I was at my worst 3 years ago at age 16, but it got so much better. I haven't had a panic attack in over a year, rarely do I get so anxious that it will affect my day. If i'm feeling down, I know what to do (from the list above). I hope this helps someone, remember that there is always a way to soothe your mind. It may not be the same techniques I use, but do whatever works best for you in that situation, whether it's to go for a walk, pray, be social, read, have a shower... whatever.
One thing I learned as some someone who doesn't really understand depression is that if people talk to you about it, they're not looking for solutions, they just want someone to listen to them and acknowledge what they're going through.
We love taking up challenge topics and actually talking about it 😖❤ this video actually helps a lot actually when trying to get life together before university
One thing that helps we with my self esteem is unprompted compliments about things that won’t naturally change. Stuff like how my friends wish they had my face shape or something about how pretty my eyes are. Then even if there’s a day where I haven’t put any effort into my appearance there are still things I know people like. It may be different for other people though, because I’m personally not hugely bothered about aspects that I can change like my hairdo or makeup.
My name is Matthew, and I live in Florida. I have a bachelor's degree in child development and a dual master's degree in counseling psychology and education. As a mental health professional who has worked with young people, I am greatly appreciative of videos such as yours which openly and honestly talk about Mental Health. I am also gay and have quadrilateral cerebral palsy because one challenge was not enough LOL. I use a wheelchair for Mobility purposes. I love what I do and the opportunities I've been given compared to other folks with disabilities. I discovered your videos because I like math. The first video of yours I ever watched was you taking the British math gtsc. I can't explain it but I was riveted. I researched more about the asexuality scale because of you. As such in a small way you have made me a better practitioner. I also had a difficult relationship with my father until he passed away when I was 14. I find those videos very relatable. I came for the math I stayed for the puns. You always make me laugh even when life gets really hard. Thank you for everything.
With friends with Lowe self esteem/ anxiety like Evan said try build them up by pointing out their good/ amazing qualities andI’ve found telling them my insecurities has helped. I am a an out going person and people don’t think I’ll have insecurities because I don’t show them. So when my friends who are having a bad time see that I’m anxious/ insecure about something they see they aren’t alone.
If I avoided everything that made me anxious I wouldn't leave my house! Think it's all about challenging the anxiety, avoiding it will just make it worse if you're in a situation where you can't get out of it.
When I’m anxious, I go for a run. It really helps as I listen to music while running and music generally calms me down anyway..However being in public in running clothes makes me anxious. I always feel like I’m being stared at and people are judging me. I know that no one cares, I know there not looking at me but when I’m in that situation I feel like they are. I just get this feeling in my chest that people hate me. So I combat this with running later in the day like when it’s sunset. Plus sunsets really calm me down I like just sitting on the hill and looking at the sunset. I also usually bring a sketchpad and draw on the hill. It’s like a sudden peace
I’m really interested by your tactic of avoiding triggers of anxiety, and I think it can open up a really interesting conversation. I’ve been suffering with anxiety for 10 years, but was also an anxious child. For the majority of this time, my number one coping mechanism was avoidance. As I’ve gotten older, sometimes it’s difficult to avoid triggers, or anxious situations, and those years of avoidance have really wired me to have a fight/flight response, and in the end, has proven to be my biggest enemy. My avoidance has reduced my ability to sit with my anxious thoughts and feelings, and so my primary way of calming down is to leave the situation - meaning that when I simply cannot leave the situation, it’s more difficult and takes longer to calm down. I’ve been to so many therapists over the years, but this year has been particularly bad, so for the first time ever I sought help privately. I’m now having to essentially start from scratch, and learn how to deal with difficult emotions and feelings, and how to process them and work through them, rather than avoid them. Like Evan said, everyone responds to things differently. So please, please don’t use avoidance as your main coping mechanism - try and deal with it first, or be willing to endure those painful thoughts and feelings for a little longer at least, before removing yourself from the situation. Obviously don’t torture yourself with it, as I’ve done that too and ended up more traumatised, but have a think first about what you can do to deal with the trigger you’ve faced.
Self-employed dude here... I have previously taken out private medical cover, it was about £300 for the year, and included mental health services. For a lot of people, £300 is a lot to spend on healthcare, but I figured it could be useful. I used it once, got an appointment within a day or two. I've since let it lapse, but will likely take it up again after xmas
ok i understand what your saying about anxiety and i really appreciate you talking openly and sharing your opinions and experiences and their all completely valid however as someone whose had anxiety disorder since like 5 years old, it is not always helpful to avoid what makes you anxious because sometimes that means your not living your life to the fullest, ive spent the last few years really confronting situations that give me anxiety and using actual coping mechanisms to get through it and yes its a lot of work and really hard at times but you will begin to see progress, recently i took a trip to nyc from california and i wouldn't have been able to do that if i avoided things that gave me anxiety
Defothat person with low self confidence. I also use humour and self deprecating humour to deal with things if not I use food as a comfort. I also struggled with grief and still am. I learnt that it’s like a ball out bad days the ball is bigger and smaller when ur having a good day x saying this we’re not alone. I find focusing on someone that no matter what when ur with them ur happy for me that’s my partner and thinking about him calms me right down especially the idea of being hugged
I think the NHS provision is very dependent on your postcode. I got rushed through the NHS system as I was moving soon but since then have had around 6 months of CBT on the NHS. It’s been fantastic!
I think this is a really important thing to talk about and enjoyed the video, obviously your only talking from your experience but I would just say anxiety can present in lots of different ways and I know for myself if I feel anxious I don’t feel capable of doing the productive things you find helpful so making a to do list or something like that can just be putting more pressure on myself, I think one of the most important things is to be kind to yourself and be proud of the things you have managed to do, gratitude journals can also be helpful to do this but I sometimes find I put too much pressure on myself to do things like this which are supposed to be helping me feel better too
When i was going through CBT in high school the NHS waiting list was over a year. Still glad I managed to get it because I definitely couldn't afford to go private.
It's so important to talk about stuff like this! Even if it just helps one person to go and get help it's all worth it. I went to therapy and it brought me so much further, I hope someone who needs a little nudge to reach out gets it from this video, because your mental health matters so much!
i have anxiety and depression and most of it is probably because of college but i cant escape it. its mandatory in england to go to college. i hope everyone who has a mental illness feels ok today and you feel a bit better tomorow than you did today.
I'm what they call "casually suicidal", which basically means that if I'm stressed or depressed, my brain - whilst running through potential solutions - says "I could just... die". It's not a serious consideration - it's like when you're looking at universities and day to yourself "I could go to notoriously crap uni" - it's not a serious consideration, just a suggestion. I hardly ever actually consider it, it's more of a stupid idea that I know is stupid. If anyone else deals with this, I just want you to know that, a as far as I'm aware, it's kinda normal. I'm not sure how to fix it, but for me personally it's not a massive issue. If anybody knows how to fix it remedy this, if love to hear it, but again it's not something I'm really concerned by. : )
Yeah I have that, if Im like sad or something an idea just pops into my head like "this wouldn't happen if I was dead" but the idea always pops away afterwards and I never seriously consider it
In reference to the free therapy in the UK, I sadly think it depends what county you're in. In Surrey your local GP can refer/suggest you self refer to one of a few charities that operate across Surrey out of different community hospitals. You can refer online, and then they'll give you a ring, you'll have an assessment phone call where you'll have a chat about how you're feeling and what you're looking for and they'll let you know what services they have available and what they'd recommend. This includes online councilling (basically just chatting with a therapist over messanger), regular therapy phonecalls/videocalls, or face to face appointments. You can still end up on a waiting list for a few months, but at least it's something. The Samaritans are also a good place to call, if you're not sure what's available locally as they'll probably have websites or contacts for companies that can help longer term.
Thank you for this video. Currently in a place with little control in my life and often feel like I am not heard by others...which leads to feeling not respected by others, then it spirals a bit. I try various things to help, but need this video. Thanks!
I'm from the UK, a district called Bassetlaw, and we're actually pretty lucky round here. We have a service called Talkzone and a service called Insight. Talkzone is what it says on the tin - a person you have hour long appointments with where you can talk about everything and anything in total confidence and they will listen and advise you and it's pretty great. There's no limit on how long you can go for and you can have it as often as you need - I started off having it every week and then every other week and then once a month until I felt okay. Sure, it's hard when you get discharged as you then cannot go back for another six months if you feel like you need it again but it's pretty good. A short waiting list too and you can self refer. Insight is okay too and is a form of CBT so they do assessments of how you're feeling and how it's affecting your daily life and then why you might be feeling that way and give you coping techniques and stuff but you can only go for six weeks. It's easy to access as you can self refer and they do in person appointments as well as phone appointments which decreases waiting time and increases convenience and flexibility. Nothing we have is perfect and it's still hard to get the help you need as these two services are like for 16-24 year olds, I think so after that you have difficulties but as a 19 year old, I'm okay for now. CAMHS which is for under 16s in the UK, everywhere I think (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service) was terrible and useless as you can only have 9 weeks even if you aren't coping at all and there is a pretty long waiting list. Things are different in different places and different for why you need help. I have diagnosed GAD and PTSD and so for me, the help I accessed did help somewhat, but it won't be the same for everyone. I loved this video. It was amazing and much needed 👏
2:46 because this question is so vague, I can't help imagining that the person was just asking what they should do with taxes or rent or something, and then Evan just unearthed all their insecurities about their sexuality
Just a tip for students, you can usually get therapy through your university/ college and the wait times are generally much shorter than the NHS so it’s just something to consider :)
As a teen in the uk, when you get referred for mental heath through the NHS you get put into a system called CAMHS. Now, CAMHS can be a bit all over the place depending on where your from. In my area you have to wait around 6 months to get seen, you can get rejected for not being ‘bad enough’ and the help they give you is pushed and very difficult to get. I would also argue that they have no training regarding LGBTQ+ problems as i know many trans people who got no support and when I came out to them as it was a big weight on my mind they did nil. However, a family member from a different area also got referred to CAMHS and it’s really helped her so it clearly varies on the funding of each area and therefore the help you can get but it’s always with trying if you need help, you never know. Also I know of some counselling places for teens in the uk that are free/low cost and even do walk in sessions.
Good video Evan. My sister has mental health problems she suffers with depression and she sometimes sugges to get up in the morning. When she's having a bad day and she comes home she likes to talk to us and that makes her feel much better. I love my sister so much and when i have a bad day I like to take to my parents or my teacher and It makes me feel so much better. But great video Evan 👍👍👍❤❤❤
"The thing I find really works for me the most... running." heh i fucking wish this would work for me because then i could be less anxious and more fit but running is a massive anxiety trigger for me and at least 90% of the time i end up feeling worse after B)- glad it works for you, i just really need to find something healthy to release my anxiety
All you need is a physical distraction that soaks up fidget energy, but also gets you moving. Even something as simple as doing the dishwasher, spending an hour food shopping in the supermarket, or just walking a lap around the block. I work from home, so i have the tendency to spiral in on myself, and get stressed. Sometimes just stopping for 10 min, and having a dance in the living room to whatever song i have stuck in my head. I look insane, but i feel better after. Pick something and see if it works for you. If it doesnt, try something else. Everyone is different, and health ( whether mental or physical) is a journey, not a destination.
Regards to how easy to access the services: I agree what Evan said ! It takes a while and once you receive it you only get a certain amount of weeks which sucks as i was struggling a lot with anxiety but only got 12 weeks of CBT therapy which is something but it doesn’t help as they think your “cured”
Camille Wallis I’ve been in therapy for a year and I’m no where near being ready to leave, and changing therapists would be just as bad so I think it would be really frustrating to not have very long.
Ahhh grieving is so annoying I wish everyone grieved then same way. It's been almost 3 years since my dad died and im just now starting to grieve and regularly get upset over his absence and I felt so broken before when everyone was crying and to me nothing was different I juts hadn't seen him in a while. My nan has found that recently she's started having panic attacks which are probably linked to the death and remember this is 3 years on it's so weird and strange how death affects people
College has made my anxiety so much worse than when I was in high school. Hs was such a breeze for me and college has been a giant struggle of time management and perfectionism
The high school vs college stress thing I don’t totally agree with. High school was stressful in different ways - I had a few extra curriculars too (mainly marching band). But even so, there were different stressors in college. My social anxiety popped out a bit in high school, but it got so so much worse in college and that also made my depression worse. If I was mentally well, it probably would have been less stressful. But that’s not my reality.
8:14 be careful with this though. A hallmark of anxiety is avoiding the thing that makes you anxious. If you truly want to get past the anxiety, the best thing to do is challenge it. If you want to do this with an extreme fear I’d recommend seeking professional help so you don’t go about it wrong. There is however, a difference between taking care of yourself and not pushing yourself over the edge and just avoiding everything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
The idea is to push yourself, but slowly.
Elena Gibbons thank you so much for the comment. I was very worried when he was promoting this behavior.
yeah this is something they really push in therapy - its all about small steps to conquer the situations that make you anxious
Yeah, I know this is an old video but came here to say the same, clinical anxiety can spiral rapidly if people avoid all their triggers, that's how people end up agoraphobic and unable to leave the house without experiencing panic attacks
about a year ago now my dad came out to my family as asexual and started the divorce process with my mom, he’d been depressed for a while and he’s always been an anxious person (the other day i watched him have a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store and i had no idea how to help), and a couple months ago i told him about your youtube channel bcs he was watching another video about the differences between the us and uk and you’d reminded me of him for a while,, now he watches your videos all the time and any time i’m at his apartment he’s really excited to tell me about a video he’s watched (and i’ve watched your channel for a while too) and it’s made us closer, and it makes me really happy that he’ll see this video in his feed bcs it seems like exactly what he needs,, thanks for this evan
"fight your anxiety with physical activity"
what if physical activity makes me anxious though?
I find that physical activity in public makes me really anxious, but if I do plank, sit-ups or anything at home it does help a lot. I focus and feel relaxed afterwards.
If that doesn't work for you too, I would suggest doing something you like doing, like drawing, reading or paiting or cleaning.
“You where meant to destroy the anxiousness, not join them!!”
That me
I went with a friend the first time I went to the gym, had a literal panic attack outside the gym but forced myself in the door and each time it’s easier. I guess find someone who can get you in the door and it goes up from there
my favorite physical activity is sleeping
I had sex for the first time at 23. I thought everything would be different after I lost my v card. Quite the opposite! Society builds up sex as this amazing magical thing. I think yoga feels better then sex tbh lol
I know what you mean. I was a virgin until the age of 30, and my biggest problem was that other people seemed to think it was their business and I even had colleagues offer to hire a prostitute for me, and I was like "no thanks, I'm fine".
@@SteamboatWilley That's really weird to be honest, your colleagues hiring a prostitute I mean. It is kind of odd that this kind of behavior is considered "normal." What business is it of theirs?
you dont really have a v card thats just all in your head
that breakfast thing is so cute.
i get anxiety about eating breakfast due to recovering from an eating disorder. and to hear you say that feeling good is a good enough reason to eat in the morning makes me happy.
Don't underestimate the value of breakfast it truly is the eighth wonder of the world. (I'm not sure what the other seven are). 😆👍
I am a mental health professional and thoroughly enjoyed your video, Evan. You are right on track with your supportive comments. I appreciate that you are aware of the things which trigger your anxiety. Honestly, that is the best place to be in. Even your thoughts on the avoidance of situations to manage anxiety are pretty sound. In the end though, one cannot always dodge those times (I know you said that - thank you). The simplest ways to manage include: 1. awareness of breath - follow the sensation in and out of your body; 2. tune into your fice senses - name one thing in each category; and 3. allow any thoughts to float away on the breeze - which may take some practice, but overall detaching from the negative thoughts is a great coping skill. Thanks for your video!
i used to say i look fat and ugly and never took compliments.
you know what my friends did?
they made a survey and passed it around school saying ‘do you think ___ is pretty?’
obviously they only asked people we knew so they all said yes, but it was so sweet and i loved them sm. to get like 20+ people saying you’re pretty. confidence: boosted
that's so nice and im happy for you but if anyone did that for me they would probs all still say I'm uGLy oof
e r i n
i thought that too, and i can certainly say that i’m sure people would say you’re pretty! if i knew they were doing this i’d think everyone would say no. but they didn’t. you may not see it because your mind is feeding you negative thoughts, but other people have neutral minds and can tell how pretty you are xxx
@@saff1257 that's so kind omg
That's literally so cute. I'm happy you have them in your life
In 2007, I went to camhs (child and adolescent mental health service on the nhs) for an eating disorder and ptsd. I got in pretty fast. They were amazing. I was with them for more than a year. I was only discharged when both my psychiatrist and myself agreed I was ready for that. In 2013 ish, I went to adult services. Took several months to get an appointment and only had 6 weeks. Didn’t help much. Don’t know if the difference is camhs v adult, pre-recession v post-budget cuts, or eating disorder (weight loss was visible and measurable) v suicidal (invisible and not measurable). About a year after that, I attempted suicide. I then found moodjuice- a self help website by scottish NHS based on CBT. Somehow I found the motivation to do it myself and since I had experience with CBT at camhs, I was able to do it myself. I printed off all the worksheets, even the ones that didn’t seem relevant to me. For a few months, I didn’t work or study or do anything that wasn’t to benefit my mental health. I spent half an hour a day on the worksheets. I wrote a diary every day analysing my thoughts. I wrote letters I never intended to send (to exes, to my abuser, to my dead grandparents, etc). I didn’t drink any alcohol at all to make sure my antidepressants were working at their best. I made sure I walked my dog every day (fresh air + exercise + time with my dog). It annoys me that I had to do that alone and find the motivation to do it, without the NHS. I honestly have no idea where I got that motivation from and thinking back, I’m incredibly proud of myself that I managed to do that. I’m doing much better now. I haven’t self harmed or had suicidal thoughts or a panic attack in a few years and I’m not even on antidepressants anymore. But I still work on my mental health every day- I have something I read to myself every day that says things like ‘I am beautiful. I can handle conflict. I am confident.’ I didn’t feel any of those things when I started doing that daily but I do now. I’m also careful about who I follow on social media. And I write down three good things every day, whether that’s ‘I went to an amazing concert’ or ‘my dog exists’ or ‘I watched a cool youtube video’. Sometimes it’s hard to find three things, especially when I first started doing it, but now it’s a way to spot problems early. If I struggle to find three things every day for a week or so, I know things are going wrong and I need to put more effort into my mental health before it gets bad again. It’s taken years and years, and so much work. It would have been easier if the NHS had better mental health services, and I’m sure there are many many people who are unable to do it themselves and so it would be impossible without better nhs services. In fact, I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself if I hadn’t had that first good experience with camhs. But I got better. Things got better. Now I just have to keep them that way.
Nikki Williamson well done ! I also after counselling really focused on helping myself as well.. I also do daily affirmations, gratitude, really try not to listen to that voice in my head ( put it on mute), worked on my physical health... and now I'm training to be a counsellor to help others and I've learned so much, although I still struggle with my stress levels more notibly now I'm studying
"I'm not the bad guy." - Virgil Sanders aka Anxiety.
Anxiety isn't good or bad, it's just there. We only see it as bad because we don't know enough about it. But without anxiety....where would we be? Would we be as sharp as we are without fear? I've learned that Anxiety was only bad cause I assumed it was. But it's just there-we can manage it and with my anxiety I find working out helps, and grounding techniques; counting in rhythm to a favorite song, and snapping oddly enough helps too lol.
FANDERS UNITE 💙
@@skykopanek264 Honestly without Sanders Sides I'd literally hate myself for my anxiety but now I'm like "oh hey whaddup anxiety aight time to do my grounding techniques aight and....good" lol.
Also Virgil is a precious anxious baby and MUST BE PROTECTED hahah
“Loving yourself is a practice, it is not going to feel natural.” Someone has said this already and it is true! It takes time but we can practice it by doing things that we like to do and slowly starting feeling better about ourselves :)
Another way to calm down and meditate is target shooting - I used to do that once a week after work and usually started spraying all over the target, so I concentrated harder until all of my hits were in the black - while not noticing that I had phased out every thought of work. So this meditative activity really calmed me down, to a point where the stance alone caused my blood pressure to drop, even during short breaks at work.
I have a few mental health problems and talking about them in such a relaxed way and being able to relate is amazing. Thank you Evan.
no! don't avoid the thing that is making you anxious.
Maybe i should put my math one up, just so i could be like... you can COUNT on me
Your story about shutter island reminded me of when I watched a movie that included a guy dying in surgery *the night before* I had surgery and it totally freaked me out. I legit thought I was going to die in surgery
Thank you evan you've helped me and thousands of people across the globe ☺️💓 thank you x
In the uk, even when I got referred to the mental health services as “urgent” it still took around 6 months to get my first introduction appointment (which is talking to a mental health nurse so they can decide who’s best for u to talk to). And then after that I had to wait an extra 2 months to actually talk to a psychologist
This was my experience too. In fact, it's now been over six months and I still haven't actually heard anything back. Just stuck in a weird limbo waiting for a health assessment decision, and feeling like I'm wasting my doctor's time going for a monthly fit note so HMRC doesn't screw me in the interim. Even though they might screw me with the assessment decision eventually anyway. Good vibes.
Wtf
same! i went to that whilst they figured out who to send me to. i was young so they said group therapy. i told them the idea of that gave me anxiety, and they said alright and cancelled it. but never gave me anywhere else to go. love that
Yeah, I guess it's because the want you to get a private psych doctor? Kinda stupid, since mentally unhealthy people are, like, the least likely group to seek medical treatment (except for kids or whatever, cos kids can't call the doctor).
Same thing happens in Mexico
Thank you for making this video. I haven't been well mental health-wise recently and I've been keeping all that bottled up but this motivates me to possibly reach out to someone.
Origami helps me. it focuses my breathing and I end up with something nice :)
This video means a lot, thank you
The voice you did for anxiety at 7:10 really made me laugh. Ik this isn’t the most thoughtful response to this video, but I just wanna say thanks for still being funny, even when speaking about serious thangs :)
Love all videos to do with Mental Health, it cant be talked about enough
Mental Health doesn't get the recognition it deserves. It's incredible to see RUclipsrs like Evan talking about their own. ♥
Dealing with anxiety is a daily struggle. I heard increased protein for breakfast and cutting carbs can be a big factor. Its helped me. Not cured me but helped me out alot. Cheers.
I kinda needed this today my mental health has been particularly bad at the moment so this really helps 😊
well done for recognising your health status. :) Just remember, knowing that your mental health is in a bad place is the first step to getting it better. I hope you find something that helps you on that journey, as you are awesome. x
Carlie Griffiths thanks a lot this has really made my day :)
@@mollyw1680 my pleasure :) trying to be nice to people helps me to steady myself, so i am being selfish too :P
avoiding things that make me anxious is what's the problem. I don't think Evan and my anxiety-brrain agree on what can't be avoided. My brain definitely thinks uni can be avoided, so can phone calls, talking to friends, studying, going to exams, eating if it requires seeing people, leaving my flat if people can see me, and opening the door if people are knocking, ect. I'm actually working very hard with my therapist on not avoiding things that make me anxious :P
I love your channel Evan! It’s been several years but i keep coming back. Keel being you and keep being genuine :)
"Physical health is as important as mental health."
There's some great advice here. It can be very difficult with mental illness to fight against executive disfunction, making things like making breakfast, exercising, and other productive activities near impossible to actually carry out. The point is to not use it as an excuse but instead to recognize it when it is playing a role in hindering you from taking part in activities that would be beneficial for you and not allow this inactivity to demoralize you further.
i’m thankful that people are more open about mental health these days. i feel like i understand myself and others better.
No one:
Me: bUT Im AN ugLy GObLin💀
The fact that I laughed so hard at this because I say it so much is appalling😩
Thanks for making this video Evan! Early 2019 wasn’t easy for me and after months of struggling I started counseling. It’s been the best thing ever and I feel mostly like myself again. I wish everyone could have the same experience and I feel very lucky that I’ve been able to go.
i'm glad you have found something to get you back to you again! :) keep it up, you are doing great!
I want you to know that the video you made about your relationship with your dad and your grief when he died affected me deeply. Thank you for sharing such intimate parts of your life.
Thank you so much for this Evan 🌈
Running helped me so much with my mental health, not only did it get rid of my nervous energy from my anxiety, give me time to myself but also the runners high afterwards really helped my moods not swing so much
I've never had a runner's high. Ever. Some people just don't get that effect and exercise will never have a positive effect in their mental health. Don't recommend it as a "treatment" for mental illness. It makes a lot of people who are seriously unwell feel worse.
Yeah that success high ain’t bad :)
@@strangekat2840 i was just wanting to say that like Evan said it helped him it helped me, of course exercise cannot cure depression. It helped with my anxiety sometimes not my depression
@@strangekat2840 and I never said it was a treatment. I understand why you are annoyed at my comment, for years people would say to exercise to make myself feel better. I still have depression no matter how often or much I run. I just wanted to comment that it is something that personally helped me, everyone is different.
Thank you for being one of the only youtubers to discuss mental health ❤
Actually there are quite a few youtubers who discuss mental health. the Aspie World discusses it a *lot* (obviously) and even drs37078 did a video on the subject recently. I might have a go myself at some point.
@@SteamboatWilley interesting to know I was just pointing out that most mainstream youtubers dont discuss mental health as much as it should be
6-12 weeks wait is typical for nhs and charity therapies because they're totally over-run with demand for them against what they can fund
I know we’re talking about mental health and important stuff but I just need to point out that Evan looks GOOD. HE 👏🏾SNAPPED👏🏾
Hey Evan,
I didn’t know I would like that video that much. You said something that made me feel better: you said that we should try to avoid what made us feel anxious. It kinda validates what I’ve been thinking of doing in the last few months. I’ve been struggling to finish my masters. It was supposed to take 2 years but I’ve asked for 3 extra months because of the debilitating effect anxiety has on me. And although I love what I’m doing and I wish I could go on studying for years to come I think I have to stop, at least for a time. I’m going to finish my degree and then take a real break. Thanks for those few words that are quite comforting. Cheers
And sorry for the long comment.
Wow, well done for doing your masters! :) Its always good to recognise your battery charge, as its impossible to go all out forever. A few months to recharge and reset will allow you to calm and then have the energy for the next step. Also, its great that you are planning on having your break after. Its very difficult to chill if you have unfinished stuff hanging over you. As you have made the decision to have a break, you can see this as the destination with the route through your masters, rather than the masters completion being the destination itself.
Léa Quinet please research anxiety avoidance cycle
Carlie Griffiths Thanks for your message. I’m trying to keep this in mind and make sure I complete my masters before I embark on new adventures that will be more chill. ☺️
@@quinetlea Good luck! you can do it- because you are awesome! :)
Just got the chance to watch this, it's been a rough few months. Just what I needed, this really lifted my spirits. :)
Evan, this is such an important topic and you did an excellent job starting the discussion! I discovered your channel during the worst depressive episode I have ever experienced and it really helped me get through it. Thank for bringing me such joy and inspiration. You truly make a positive impact in my life and I appreciate you. 💜
The way i deal with my anxiety is to identify and combat those anxious thoughts, ocams razor is very useful
this video could not have come at a better time. I was triggered for the first time ever today. I never ever thought it would be something to happen to me. I have my mental health problems (depression, gender dysphoria, occasional anxiety) but me? being actually triggered? that thought never crossed my mind. it was a few hours ago, and I'm still kind of reeling from the experience. thanks for talking about this evan. lots of love.
Thank you so much for talking about this. I've had anxiety and panic attacks for a few years now and there is a lot of isolation that goes a long with it. It really helps to feel like I'm not the only one.
Breakfast is 100% most exciting meal of the day
I found this really helpful, I'm 35 with 2 children and suffer from panic attacks that have prevented me being able to do things with them such as cinema trips, shopping, anything other than our daily routine really. I have a Dr's appointment for this week now, thank you 💕
Im from the UK I had to wait over 6 months for 6 free counselling sessions and it helped but it was such a long time that I couldnt really afford to wait. You’re very privileged I work in the civil service and had disciplinary action because of taking too much time off because of my mental health. I had to fight it and I lost because the company doesn’t care it’s policy. I appreciate you addressing this topic.
Thank you for addressing this important issue
About avoiding the thing that makes you anxious..you really need to be careful with avoiding. Taking a break for calming down and then coming back to it - totally fine. But avoiding it completely will most likely make the anxiety worse
What a nice idea to talk about anxiety publicly! Especially when so many people watch your videos. I've suffered from GAD (generalized anxiety) for five years and there are good and bad period, of course. But the positive aspect of it all is that you get to grow as a person and you get much better at managing your emotions. I agree with most of Evan's tips, especially the one concerning sport. I do body balance (a mix of pilates, yoga and taichi) twice a week, and workout another two and it feels great thanks to the chemicals in your brain.
Ok but the breakfast one was a lowkey bombshell for my brain I'm going to try that for sure
🤟🏻
Never been so early. Love this video. Definitely needs to be talked about more as it’s the only way people will understand what it is and how normal it is. Love that your not afraid to talk about controversial issues that shouldn’t be controversial.
great video.. I suffer with low self esteem, anxiety and depression in the past and received CBT counselling via my GPS surgery. I had over the 10 weeks and found it really helpful so I suppose it depends where in the country you are for the amount of sessions they give you. it was a really long waiting time though. I am currently studying to be a counsellor and the one thing I have found helpful is to learn about what causes mental health problems, why they start and what you can work on to protect your mental health. A lecturer of mine told us a simple metaphor that really struck a cord with me which is to think of your mind like a garden so " why would you choose to water the weeds in your mind instead of the flowers ?" meaning don't allow the horrible thoughts about yourself to grow, rip them out.
When I get anxious I turn to music, I have curated playlists for each mood, including one for when I feel low, and one to feel good. I also write in my notebook (whenever I feel it's best to get my emotions out), whether it's thoughts on a page (which I don't even try to make sense), poems, songs or a diary entry. I was at my worst 3 years ago at age 16, but it got so much better. I haven't had a panic attack in over a year, rarely do I get so anxious that it will affect my day. If i'm feeling down, I know what to do (from the list above).
I hope this helps someone, remember that there is always a way to soothe your mind. It may not be the same techniques I use, but do whatever works best for you in that situation, whether it's to go for a walk, pray, be social, read, have a shower... whatever.
One thing I learned as some someone who doesn't really understand depression is that if people talk to you about it, they're not looking for solutions, they just want someone to listen to them and acknowledge what they're going through.
We love taking up challenge topics and actually talking about it 😖❤ this video actually helps a lot actually when trying to get life together before university
One thing that helps we with my self esteem is unprompted compliments about things that won’t naturally change. Stuff like how my friends wish they had my face shape or something about how pretty my eyes are. Then even if there’s a day where I haven’t put any effort into my appearance there are still things I know people like. It may be different for other people though, because I’m personally not hugely bothered about aspects that I can change like my hairdo or makeup.
Didn’t think I needed to hear this video but I did. Thank you Evan xx
My name is Matthew, and I live in Florida. I have a bachelor's degree in child development and a dual master's degree in counseling psychology and education. As a mental health professional who has worked with young people, I am greatly appreciative of videos such as yours which openly and honestly talk about Mental Health. I am also gay and have quadrilateral cerebral palsy because one challenge was not enough LOL. I use a wheelchair for Mobility purposes. I love what I do and the opportunities I've been given compared to other folks with disabilities. I discovered your videos because I like math. The first video of yours I ever watched was you taking the British math gtsc. I can't explain it but I was riveted. I researched more about the asexuality scale because of you. As such in a small way you have made me a better practitioner. I also had a difficult relationship with my father until he passed away when I was 14. I find those videos very relatable. I came for the math I stayed for the puns. You always make me laugh even when life gets really hard. Thank you for everything.
With friends with Lowe self esteem/ anxiety like Evan said try build them up by pointing out their good/ amazing qualities andI’ve found telling them my insecurities has helped. I am a an out going person and people don’t think I’ll have insecurities because I don’t show them. So when my friends who are having a bad time see that I’m anxious/ insecure about something they see they aren’t alone.
Thank you Evan for making this video! It's great to see that mental health is being talked about more and the stigma around it is less nowadays 💛💛
Fresh haircut looking 👌👌👌
I found your channel like 5 hours ago and I’m obsessed. You’re funny and can still talk about things like this and like ya. It’s pretty rad.
If I avoided everything that made me anxious I wouldn't leave my house! Think it's all about challenging the anxiety, avoiding it will just make it worse if you're in a situation where you can't get out of it.
THIS WAS V HELPFUL AND RELEVANT RN THANK U EVAN
You’re amazing
so are you x
I needed this video tonight - thank you for talking about such important topic. Us fans appreciate it a lot ❤️❤️
When I’m anxious, I go for a run. It really helps as I listen to music while running and music generally calms me down anyway..However being in public in running clothes makes me anxious. I always feel like I’m being stared at and people are judging me. I know that no one cares, I know there not looking at me but when I’m in that situation I feel like they are. I just get this feeling in my chest that people hate me. So I combat this with running later in the day like when it’s sunset. Plus sunsets really calm me down I like just sitting on the hill and looking at the sunset. I also usually bring a sketchpad and draw on the hill. It’s like a sudden peace
I’m really interested by your tactic of avoiding triggers of anxiety, and I think it can open up a really interesting conversation.
I’ve been suffering with anxiety for 10 years, but was also an anxious child. For the majority of this time, my number one coping mechanism was avoidance. As I’ve gotten older, sometimes it’s difficult to avoid triggers, or anxious situations, and those years of avoidance have really wired me to have a fight/flight response, and in the end, has proven to be my biggest enemy. My avoidance has reduced my ability to sit with my anxious thoughts and feelings, and so my primary way of calming down is to leave the situation - meaning that when I simply cannot leave the situation, it’s more difficult and takes longer to calm down.
I’ve been to so many therapists over the years, but this year has been particularly bad, so for the first time ever I sought help privately. I’m now having to essentially start from scratch, and learn how to deal with difficult emotions and feelings, and how to process them and work through them, rather than avoid them. Like Evan said, everyone responds to things differently. So please, please don’t use avoidance as your main coping mechanism - try and deal with it first, or be willing to endure those painful thoughts and feelings for a little longer at least, before removing yourself from the situation. Obviously don’t torture yourself with it, as I’ve done that too and ended up more traumatised, but have a think first about what you can do to deal with the trigger you’ve faced.
Self-employed dude here...
I have previously taken out private medical cover, it was about £300 for the year, and included mental health services. For a lot of people, £300 is a lot to spend on healthcare, but I figured it could be useful.
I used it once, got an appointment within a day or two.
I've since let it lapse, but will likely take it up again after xmas
ok i understand what your saying about anxiety and i really appreciate you talking openly and sharing your opinions and experiences and their all completely valid however as someone whose had anxiety disorder since like 5 years old, it is not always helpful to avoid what makes you anxious because sometimes that means your not living your life to the fullest, ive spent the last few years really confronting situations that give me anxiety and using actual coping mechanisms to get through it and yes its a lot of work and really hard at times but you will begin to see progress, recently i took a trip to nyc from california and i wouldn't have been able to do that if i avoided things that gave me anxiety
Defothat person with low self confidence. I also use humour and self deprecating humour to deal with things if not I use food as a comfort. I also struggled with grief and still am. I learnt that it’s like a ball out bad days the ball is bigger and smaller when ur having a good day x saying this we’re not alone. I find focusing on someone that no matter what when ur with them ur happy for me that’s my partner and thinking about him calms me right down especially the idea of being hugged
I think the NHS provision is very dependent on your postcode. I got rushed through the NHS system as I was moving soon but since then have had around 6 months of CBT on the NHS. It’s been fantastic!
I think this is a really important thing to talk about and enjoyed the video, obviously your only talking from your experience but I would just say anxiety can present in lots of different ways and I know for myself if I feel anxious I don’t feel capable of doing the productive things you find helpful so making a to do list or something like that can just be putting more pressure on myself, I think one of the most important things is to be kind to yourself and be proud of the things you have managed to do, gratitude journals can also be helpful to do this but I sometimes find I put too much pressure on myself to do things like this which are supposed to be helping me feel better too
Glad you can be so open about this. This helped a lot
When i was going through CBT in high school the NHS waiting list was over a year. Still glad I managed to get it because I definitely couldn't afford to go private.
It's so important to talk about stuff like this! Even if it just helps one person to go and get help it's all worth it. I went to therapy and it brought me so much further, I hope someone who needs a little nudge to reach out gets it from this video, because your mental health matters so much!
i have anxiety and depression and most of it is probably because of college but i cant escape it. its mandatory in england to go to college. i hope everyone who has a mental illness feels ok today and you feel a bit better tomorow than you did today.
I'm what they call "casually suicidal", which basically means that if I'm stressed or depressed, my brain - whilst running through potential solutions - says "I could just... die". It's not a serious consideration - it's like when you're looking at universities and day to yourself "I could go to notoriously crap uni" - it's not a serious consideration, just a suggestion. I hardly ever actually consider it, it's more of a stupid idea that I know is stupid.
If anyone else deals with this, I just want you to know that, a as far as I'm aware, it's kinda normal. I'm not sure how to fix it, but for me personally it's not a massive issue. If anybody knows how to fix it remedy this, if love to hear it, but again it's not something I'm really concerned by. : )
Yeah I have that, if Im like sad or something an idea just pops into my head like "this wouldn't happen if I was dead" but the idea always pops away afterwards and I never seriously consider it
This is lterally a topic that Kim is an expert on, disappointed you didn't get her back to speak on this subject. She's incredible!!
In reference to the free therapy in the UK, I sadly think it depends what county you're in. In Surrey your local GP can refer/suggest you self refer to one of a few charities that operate across Surrey out of different community hospitals. You can refer online, and then they'll give you a ring, you'll have an assessment phone call where you'll have a chat about how you're feeling and what you're looking for and they'll let you know what services they have available and what they'd recommend. This includes online councilling (basically just chatting with a therapist over messanger), regular therapy phonecalls/videocalls, or face to face appointments. You can still end up on a waiting list for a few months, but at least it's something.
The Samaritans are also a good place to call, if you're not sure what's available locally as they'll probably have websites or contacts for companies that can help longer term.
This appeared on my reccomended list. Is RUclips trynna say something?
recommended ALREADY? :o
@@evan Oh sorry. You were on my normal feed. I already subbed so that's why.
Loll
i really liked this video. it was a nice sit-down-chat type video that just made me feel super relaxed. hope you do more of these in the future. :)
Thank you for this video. Currently in a place with little control in my life and often feel like I am not heard by others...which leads to feeling not respected by others, then it spirals a bit. I try various things to help, but need this video. Thanks!
I'm from the UK, a district called Bassetlaw, and we're actually pretty lucky round here. We have a service called Talkzone and a service called Insight.
Talkzone is what it says on the tin - a person you have hour long appointments with where you can talk about everything and anything in total confidence and they will listen and advise you and it's pretty great. There's no limit on how long you can go for and you can have it as often as you need - I started off having it every week and then every other week and then once a month until I felt okay. Sure, it's hard when you get discharged as you then cannot go back for another six months if you feel like you need it again but it's pretty good. A short waiting list too and you can self refer.
Insight is okay too and is a form of CBT so they do assessments of how you're feeling and how it's affecting your daily life and then why you might be feeling that way and give you coping techniques and stuff but you can only go for six weeks. It's easy to access as you can self refer and they do in person appointments as well as phone appointments which decreases waiting time and increases convenience and flexibility.
Nothing we have is perfect and it's still hard to get the help you need as these two services are like for 16-24 year olds, I think so after that you have difficulties but as a 19 year old, I'm okay for now. CAMHS which is for under 16s in the UK, everywhere I think (Children and Adolescent Mental Health Service) was terrible and useless as you can only have 9 weeks even if you aren't coping at all and there is a pretty long waiting list.
Things are different in different places and different for why you need help. I have diagnosed GAD and PTSD and so for me, the help I accessed did help somewhat, but it won't be the same for everyone.
I loved this video. It was amazing and much needed 👏
0:29 With a degree in discrete math, can confirm it's glorified counting
2:46 because this question is so vague, I can't help imagining that the person was just asking what they should do with taxes or rent or something, and then Evan just unearthed all their insecurities about their sexuality
Who disliked?.. I just wanna chat :)
Is this a low key threat?
Probably bots tbh, and people who accidentally clicked dislike and never noticed
Joseph Carroll whaaaat…nooo 😂
Just a tip for students, you can usually get therapy through your university/ college and the wait times are generally much shorter than the NHS so it’s just something to consider :)
As a teen in the uk, when you get referred for mental heath through the NHS you get put into a system called CAMHS. Now, CAMHS can be a bit all over the place depending on where your from. In my area you have to wait around 6 months to get seen, you can get rejected for not being ‘bad enough’ and the help they give you is pushed and very difficult to get. I would also argue that they have no training regarding LGBTQ+ problems as i know many trans people who got no support and when I came out to them as it was a big weight on my mind they did nil. However, a family member from a different area also got referred to CAMHS and it’s really helped her so it clearly varies on the funding of each area and therefore the help you can get but it’s always with trying if you need help, you never know. Also I know of some counselling places for teens in the uk that are free/low cost and even do walk in sessions.
Good video Evan. My sister has mental health problems she suffers with depression and she sometimes sugges to get up in the morning. When she's having a bad day and she comes home she likes to talk to us and that makes her feel much better. I love my sister so much and when i have a bad day I like to take to my parents or my teacher and It makes me feel so much better. But great video Evan 👍👍👍❤❤❤
evan is gradually developing more of a british accent
"The thing I find really works for me the most... running."
heh i fucking wish this would work for me because then i could be less anxious and more fit but running is a massive anxiety trigger for me and at least 90% of the time i end up feeling worse after B)- glad it works for you, i just really need to find something healthy to release my anxiety
All you need is a physical distraction that soaks up fidget energy, but also gets you moving. Even something as simple as doing the dishwasher, spending an hour food shopping in the supermarket, or just walking a lap around the block. I work from home, so i have the tendency to spiral in on myself, and get stressed. Sometimes just stopping for 10 min, and having a dance in the living room to whatever song i have stuck in my head. I look insane, but i feel better after. Pick something and see if it works for you. If it doesnt, try something else. Everyone is different, and health ( whether mental or physical) is a journey, not a destination.
Regards to how easy to access the services: I agree what Evan said ! It takes a while and once you receive it you only get a certain amount of weeks which sucks as i was struggling a lot with anxiety but only got 12 weeks of CBT therapy which is something but it doesn’t help as they think your “cured”
Camille Wallis I’ve been in therapy for a year and I’m no where near being ready to leave, and changing therapists would be just as bad so I think it would be really frustrating to not have very long.
I'm so happy you made this video Evan and I love this kind of content! Lots of love x
I have anxiety already and I just clicked on this video
Ahhh grieving is so annoying I wish everyone grieved then same way. It's been almost 3 years since my dad died and im just now starting to grieve and regularly get upset over his absence and I felt so broken before when everyone was crying and to me nothing was different I juts hadn't seen him in a while. My nan has found that recently she's started having panic attacks which are probably linked to the death and remember this is 3 years on it's so weird and strange how death affects people
such good timing
College has made my anxiety so much worse than when I was in high school. Hs was such a breeze for me and college has been a giant struggle of time management and perfectionism
The high school vs college stress thing I don’t totally agree with. High school was stressful in different ways - I had a few extra curriculars too (mainly marching band). But even so, there were different stressors in college. My social anxiety popped out a bit in high school, but it got so so much worse in college and that also made my depression worse. If I was mentally well, it probably would have been less stressful. But that’s not my reality.