As a single mom with absolutely 0 support, family, or friends. This might have possibly saved my life. I really needed this. Thank you for your vulnerability, Brittany
Motherhood was never meant to be done alone 🤦♀️ and u should give yourself some grace on the bad days because if ur doing this alone ur a Rockstar 🎉 ur not alone in ur loneliness and lack of help...
Girl you are so loved. Try to take time for yourself when your child is at daycare. Ask your neighbour for help, or put up an ad for a babysitter girl in your area
It's really hard to be single for years and years when you are partnership oriented. It's really hard to be a single mom. It's really hard to have depression. I feel for you. I hope you have support from a therapist and consider modalities like EMDR for the traumas you carry - your divorce, that guy that cheated on you rampantly, and stuff that hurt you in childhood all count as traumas and they may be holding you back more than you realize. I wish you the best on your healing journey.
Seconding this. There is definitely some consistency with partners chosen that point to unresolved trauma, that subconsciously one knows can't give you what you need or deserve. Even in this example, dating someone that much younger - you're in different places in life.
I didn't understand why I couldn't be like all the other moms who happily played with their kid at the park or did blocks on the floor. Like, how do I not have the energy or motivation to SIT ON THE FLOOR. I didn't know why getting a hug from my 3.5-year-old daughter felt awkward when it shouldn't. Why didn't the look of sadness and disappointment from her hit me when I'd say I don't want to play today? It's only been recently I've been asking myself could I be depressed? But I wasn't sad, nor hopeless, or any other words I've heard used to describe depression... there was just nothing. No joy when my daughter did something funny. Or sadness when I should be sad. I'd never heard apathy in the same sentence as depression. Got pregnant with my one and only daughter April 2020 and I've felt this way since. But first you attribute it to pregnancy, then birth, then postpartum, then adjusting to having a toddler, then the "threenager" stage and then.... this video made me realize if I still feel this way, it's probably been around since 2020. You're not alone in this, and surprisingly, I guess I'm not either.
Thank you for sharing this. I have a 3.5 year old as well. I find myself not having the motivation to play with her and feeling like she doesn’t like me. That thought gets to my head so much..
I’ve been through so much trauma and I don’t know what this is but your voice and when you talk about things I know Incan relate to or a similar experience I feel so much more calm and understood which helps so much..so crazy but I rewatched this a couple times and I have to say I love your mind and how you put thought and effort into understanding the emotions your feeling before your just talk about them openly..it’s refreshing
WOW.... thank you for being so honest... a lot of people go through these type of dark moments in life and sharing your experience validates emotions so much, it's completely ok to not share things in the moment while you get through it but here you are making the necessary changes to start to flourish again it is a journey and were so proud of you!
Been on an ssri for 8 years. Sometimes we up the dose and sometimes we lower it. I always explain depression to people like this: You know how it feels when you have to poop?! Doesn't matter if you're in the car or whatever. You have to go, and your body will not stop notifying you. You can't mind over matter your way out of eventually taking a poop. You have no choice. Its going to happen eventually. When you're suffering from clinical depression, your body will not stop notifying you. You can't mind over matter it and eventually you are going to have a break down. You have no choice. Its going to happen eventually. For some reason people can always relate to poop lol. ❤❤❤ Feel better soon. I just upped my meds last week.
The body only does what the mind/brain tells it to do. It’s all connect. I would try approaching this holistically (focusing on the whole) also reading mind change. This woman had over 100 diseases, fatal diseases, smaller ones like depression, and she cured it all by changed her mindset. It is all connected, doctors have been lying to you trying to make money (and successfully doing it)
@@lemonadewithstrawberriesit’s actually true ! there’s a connect between gut and brain and everything else falls suit
8 месяцев назад+8
I’ve been on an SSRI for almost 10 years. I take it for anxiety and I also feel like it’s hard to explain what it is like to deal with anxiety and/or depression to people.Thanks for sharing and I am sending you lots of positive vibes in this journey. You got this
You explained perfectly what depression is like, especially the part about gratefulness. It is such an empty feeling. Thank you for being so honest and brave to share this video. Sending love and healing 🤍
I just finished praying for you, your daughter and her dad. After watching your video and praying, it made it cry 😢 I can feel your pain while you were talking. I can’t imagine going through depression & I can’t imagine what you went through as a child. I read in one of the comments about finding a church. Please give it a try and see what happens. I believe there is a pastor that I really like and listen to. He lives in California name Matt Brown @ Sandals Church. I respect whatever decision you make. Definitely will continue to pray for you 🙏🏽😢❤️
My depresion after my second child hit my like a bomb! For me it was, imagine the worst thing happened and someone give to you just the emotions of that tragedy but not the memory. So you are in pain, cry, your body cant realize it but when asked whats wrong you just say "I dont know"! I cried and said to my husband "I dont know, I dont know". No one understand! They are all happy for the baby and you are there just in pain!
I’m wondering if you had a traumatic birth, and have PTSD now. That sounds like post traumatic stress disorder, rather than depression. I’m not a medical professional though. Maybe you should talk to your doctor or psychologist. I hope you feel better soon!
Thank you for being so honest. I love the honesty, motherhood is hard and I don’t think it’s all sunshine and rainbows ever. It’s important to share this with people so you don’t feel alone and they also don’t feel alone. I have felt this way as a mom, why am I not happy all the time? Other moms are? It’s so hard.
Girl I feel you ❤ I regularly experience bouts of anxiety and depression but the cause is actually my digestive system. When I have trouble digesting certain foods, my body has a physical reaction. It literally freaks out. It’s trying to alert me that there is something wrong. I become overwhelmed with waves of sadness, shakiness, panic, and it’s terrifying. It continues until my stomach finally settles, but once it does the feelings and the awful thoughts dissipate and I feel like myself again. The only way I get through these episodes without medication and without my thoughts spiralling out of control is to separate my mind from my body in the moment and just observe. I remind myself that my body is feeling like something is wrong but my mind needs to stay calm and in control and just observe these feelings and let them ride through me until they are gone. The awful thoughts try to force their way in but they are just connected to my emotions which are connected to my body so I just tell them ‘no’. I gently tell my body that it’s ok, it’s going to be ok. Then I tell the feeling in my body to leave because it’s not welcome. Eventually it passes. It always happens at night, but it happens far less now that I am able to control it. Perhaps your back injury is what initially triggered these feelings within you and quickly invaded your thoughts and took over but if you go back to the decision maker, the observer - the mind, you can regain control again. I also use this technique to fight my awful PMS symptoms each month (where I feel detached and empty and unmotivated/ unfulfilled which is just not me normally). It really helps me get back to feeling myself again. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts, and remember you are not alone! ❤❤ xxx
I've been on ssri's for roughly 10 years now and my mental health still tanked recently. Sudden panic attacks with no trigger, just completely out of nowhere. I started seroquel a few weeks ago and holyyyyy, I can't believe how much easier everything is already! It's nice to know it can happen to anyone, even women like you who seem to have it all together. Thanks for making me feel less alone in this. ❤
I felt like this could have been me talking 😢 the chocolate cake metaphor was spot on and so well said. I’m nearly 31 and a deep empath, and have battled depression for half my life now. It’s the hardest thing ever and it’s such a viscous and continuous rollercoaster of a life living with it. Highly sensitive people are definitely prone to depression I’ve noticed over the years. What you said about being a mom how we’re forced to function no matter how we feel, can really bury the underlying issues more and more day by day until we feel completely bone dry and depleted if we aren’t taking the necessary steps to help ourselves. I can relate more than you know, and I’m proud of you for taking the initiative to get help, you’ve motivated me to do the same. You are far from alone! God bless you, I hope you start feeling like your beautiful self again soon.
I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 years old. Textbook high school sweetheart. Together more than half our lives. I loved him to death through all of our faults. All of HIS issues, and yet he left on deployment and found a girlfriend on his ship. Meanwhile, I was holding it down at home with a 2 and 3 year old. Horrible. Absolutely terrible thing to go through. BUT I’m finally feeling like myself again. My kids and I moved out of state and we’re so happy. I can’t believe how unhappy I was without even knowing. I had to leave to realize that I was actually miserable with him. I’ve definitely healed over the last 6 months.
Hi Brittany, I've been taking Welbutrin since July 2021 and it was the best things I've ever done. Very little side effect and I haven't had a depressive episode since.
Girl… I had to pause the video to comment because everything you’re saying is hitting me hard. I’m also a single mom. I love my daughter so sooo much, but I’ve been struggling lately. I do my best to put on a smile, say “oh wow’s that’s so beautiful” to her scribbled drawings she draws for me, “that’s amazing” to her block towers, but inside, the happiness just hasn’t been there. I also just got diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, so I think that has a lot to do with it, but sometimes, I just feel like.. idk, I don’t feel anything but bad. I’m sorry you’re going through it as well. It really is just trying to take it one day at a time and knowing things will eventually get better if you seek the help you need. Much love from one mommy to another ♥️
I have bipolar and it kicked in when I went through something very traumatic. It runs in my mom’s side of the family. I also have CPTSD from my childhood. Depression is scary. One day I’m thinking about how much my kids love and need me and then the depression kicks in and I’m thinking they’d be better off without me. I go through it often with having bipolar. I’m glad you reached out for help and you’re feeling better. I know how hard that can be. ❤
Oh, Brittany ❤️ So sorry you’re going through so much. I relate to a lot of this and appreciate what you said about your viewers being your friends, I know it’s weird and parasocial or whatever but we truly do care about you. Sending love!
I wish I could give you a great big hug! ❤️ I’ve been through some really tough times too, and an anti-depressant really helped me out. I feel like my brain is just wired a certain way, aka off-kilter, and medicine gets me to where I should be chemically. Depression will try to convince you otherwise, but there is no shame in needing help or not being okay.
Praying for you and your mental health! Everything you said is so relatable! I’m a mom and I thank God for giving me my daughter because she was the only motivation I had to live for a long time. Thank you for being honest so that Incan remind myself I’m not alone in this. To all the others commenting who’s struggling we’re in this together! We got this
Thank you for sharing. ❤ This was helpful. I have been wondering where the line is between being just tired and depressed. I have noticed that feeling too what you described, when things that should bring you joy just won’t. I used to be that guy you dated but for some time now I have had hard time finding joy in moments where I used to. I still feel negative feelings like before, but positive feelings are less strong than what they used to be.
Thank you❤ thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your truth so eloquently. this has to be one of my favourite videos of yours, ever… I really needed to watch this today. Your depression analogy was amazing
I’m a 40 y.o. psychotherapist and have also battled mental health concerns my entire life. I really love that you were so candid in this video. And also that you called a hotline. Takes so much strength to be vulnerable!
Thank you for being so candid about what you're going through. I had been going through a real hard time for the past year and 1⁄2 and A little over a year ago I got on the same medication you are on and it is help me so much. My anxiety was out of contfol. I couldnt even drive and I felt so down about myself and I was so tired of feeling like that. I'm so thankful for my therapist and This medicine
Thank you Brittany for this video, I love your personality and your gentleness. I went through the same as you, so I know, what you are talking about. You are doing the right steps and I see your strength, so I don't doubt you are going out of this. In my case the trigger is lack of self time. But I didn't know, what type of self time is healing for me. And I read about hypersensitivity, which may be the same with you, as you mentioned your empathy to others. And for hypersensitive people is time alone the best way to heal. For me it is time, when I am alone, in silent place, at home or in the nature, reading a book or just doing nothing. I need just let my thoughts sit down, absorb everything from past days, adjust them, just think about everything I need to think. I need to separate my thoughts and feelings from the others, which are not mine. Because I can't handle others feelings. I just can handle mine. And I need the time for it and I can do it only, when I am alone. So I wish you all the best in the coming days and will pray for your mental health and recovery. Greetings from Slovakia :)
Not all ssris are the same! I tried one and felt like a zombie but I’ve been on a different one for 4 years and it’s amazing. Feel better than I have since I was a child.
Life is not easy 💕💖 sending love. I've been on an ssri for a long time. Not sure if I've felt a difference on it, I think therapy is the answer. Just wanted to say that you do deserve privacy, and we aren't owed to know certain aspects of your life at all, unless you're willing to share. thank you for opening up. 💕 I think it's important to be vulnerable and honest in your own time. I hope your mom is doing well health wise!
Been on antidepressants myself for 10 years consistently. I also feel like i have one of those brains that doesnt work the same as others. I look at it like, if i had diabetes or asthma, i would take regular medication to help keep me safe and alive. Its no different treating depression. No major reason for my depression either, i was always a highly anxious child and my dad was a drinker (still is but doesnt effect my life the same) so this added to all my worry about everything but ive worked on myself a lot over the years. I am number one, and if i am ok, my children will be too. I dont always get it right but i dont put too much pressure on myself, i am overwhelmed a lot so yesterday for example a friend came and helped me clean and tidy my house and today me and my daughter (3) are having a tv rest day because sometimes i just need to reset. Youve been through some stuff recently, your mums cancer diagnosis too will have sent you through a loop. My mum was also a very stable parent in my life too and i am thankful for that.
I’ve just been going through the same thing. I was dissociating lots, having those same thoughts. Was too scared to call the hotline. Stopped and and all routines I had. I struggled very hard to be a mom, and outbursts of anger etc. I’m glad your doing better
Thank you for being so honest. This video has helped me and I think it is necessary to normalize that depressive episodes do happen to many of us. It's hard to relate if you haven't experienced but seeing someone like you whose light is so bright share, allows people to be more empathetic. I will be praying for you sis.❤ and know you will get through this. 🫶🫶🫶
Hi, mom of two little girls 3 and 1. I have watched a lot of your videos and I really enjoy them but never comment usually. I really connect with your motherhood journey and personality. I wanted to let you know that I appreciate all your videos because you're authentic and honest. I love your close relationship with your mom. I lost my mom at 19 and we were incredibly close and I like to envision what it would be like if I still had her with me. Anyways I want to thank you for all you put out there for everyone. I don't get out there to socialize as much as I probably should because I'm naturally introverted and watching your videos feels like I'm hanging out with a friend which on days when I can't get out there is soooo helpful for my mental health and I wanted to put that out there in case you read your comments and get to this one, I am definitely a person out there that your content helps! ❤ I feel like I wanted to make sure I commented this time as a small way to try and return a tiny bit of that favor back to you!
Ive battled depression off and on my whole life, and it turned into pp anxiety that went through the roof. And then dissociation from myself and my baby. Ive been on the edge many times in my life and ba k thrn didnt even know the hotline existed. I also feel it much harder if im mot exercising regularly, if i eat too much bad food. But my biggest trigger is alone time snd sleep. If i dont get enough of those it can get dark really quick. I am on an ssri, but its incidental. I have chronic nerve pain and thats the only medication that effectively blocks the pain signal to my brain. But it also felt like someone was turning on the xmas tree lights in my brain. Like suddenly my brain was BETTER, in ways i hadnt stopped to consider might not be functioning well. It also helps me sleep. So 3 birds 1 pill. I absolutely believe environment plays a big big part. But people's forget to count the positive influences in their environment, like your mom was for you. We sort of automatically assume environmental influences must be bad ones, and maybe they arent. I developed a lot of coping skills growing up to get through the traumatic parts. Some of them werent good and i had to unlearn them later. But some were good, and im always wirking on developing more positive ones. Life is such a journey, the path goes up down and everywhere else. We're here for you. Most of us even understand on a personal level.😊
I really appreciate your metaphor for depression. I’ve struggled with depression ever since I was a child. I didn’t know that it had a name until I was older. Now, I am a mom. I definitely relate to what you said about being a mom with depression. I am so glad that you reached out for help. Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you find your rhythm again soon. ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing 💓 my ex husband and father of my daughter has struggled with depression for years and I think that this just helped me understand what he’s been struggling with better than I ever have so thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing
You look really strong and aspiring. I suffer from severe ocd, health anxiety and depression and every time I watched your videos I admired you for handling motherhood so well. Now that you opened up with your mental health I admire you even more. It is very brave to express your real self and in this way you brought us closer to you. I am also a mom and suffer with guilt and disappointment for having mental issues whereas my life seems great. Mental issues don't ask they just happen for various reasons and we just have to handle them for our own and people's around us good. Keep being you, Keep being strong 💪💪 Life is hard but also beautiful we just have to push harder! 😉😉
You are so kind to be so vulnerable and open and speak the words that you yourself might have needed to hear just to help even one person that might be feeling the same. Thank you for this.
You are not alone, sis ❤ I went down a dark dark path and it almost feels unreal. So I appreciate your vulnerability ❤ last year I had an 8month depressive episode. Stuff happens and then it’s over. Also a single mom coparenting. It’s rough.
You have such a sweet transparent way to communicate. Thanks for sharing I’m sure it helps a lot of people. And hope you find your way back to tasting chocolate cake! You’re not broken we’re all just different. I’ll keep you in my prayers! 💜
Thank you so much for this. You are not alone in this! ❤ I have a very similar journey and it helps so so much knowing you do too. So truly, thank you.
Hey lady🤍 I have been where you are, I am currently where you are. I have had three miscarriages this year alone with one ending in a D&C. I am miscarrying right now. All the pain I've had, my first born, born with no breath at 34 weeks pregnant, I can honestly say that nothing helped me other than Jesus. And I know, I know, that sounds so stupid to most people. Most people will push going to church on you, but in all honesty, I opened a Bible, and read it for myself and i prayed to Him and asked for comfort. I said to show me that you're truly here, and He met me. Without a church, or a pastor. I know you are such a open minded woman, just ask Him if he would comfort you and show Himself. We all love you so much, and life is so much more than the happy moments. It's full of sorrow and pain. Most of the time pain we don't understand. Love you.
My gosh I’m so sorry you’re going through that. What a hard, hard year it’s been for you. I pray healing and wholeness over you and your womb. Your comment was very well said and I hope it’s exactly what Brittany needs to hear ❤️
Thank you for your honesty, Brittany. I have never related to you more on so many levels. That place where you logically understand that you have so many great things in your life to appreciate, yet you cannot, you just don't have this capacity. That place is very dark by itself and we tend to make it even worse in our head by blaming ourselves or thinking that something is broken at our core. And it definitely may feel lonely and scary because it seems like no one can fully comprehend your struggles. Your video will help a ton of people for sure. I know that it would have helped me a lot just half a year ago when I hit my own rock bottom. I'm also a single mom. Had my baby about 2 years ago. Started a very difficult divorce process about half a year after my son was born. Unfortunately, in my case my relationship with my son's father is not one that anyone would want. I also enjoy having a clear routine and doing physical activity for my physical and mental state. Last fall I got a bad injury and discovered that I have arthrosis and wouldn't be able to play my favorite sport for at least half a year or train on a daily basis like I normally did. It was devastating at the time and it only got worse with time and constant negative self-talk. My bad habits blossomed out of this situation. And at some point it felt like I would never enjoy living my life, doing my favorite activities, playing with my son and so many more things anymore. Honestly, at that time I wasn't feeling grateful for anything and I felt ashamed because of that. My recovery process took about 4 months and is actually still going on at a smaller level. And I finally reached this place that I felt like I could never reach. I can deeply feel this gratitude every day now and still continue nurturing it, because life is life, and it doesn't always feel good. With my whole heart I wish you to slowly and steadily build this nice place for yourself mentally where you will feel calm and peaceful. You are an amazing creator, a great inspiration to so many people including myself! Please, take good care of yourself, as good as you would for your loved one/daughter/mother/close friend. Hug your inner wounded/broken/angry/sad/guilty self more frequently ❤
Thanks for shining light on this. I know it was probably so difficult to record this video. You ARE stronger than you are giving yourself credit for, this video is proof. Depression is isolating, keeps you quiet, and steals your voice. This video and your story and honesty is proof of your immense strength. Thank you so much for sharing ❤ sending so many hugs
Depression is one huge pain in the ass, I have 1,5 years of therapy behind me and it was the best decision I have ever taken. I prayed a lot during that time (not that you have to do the same) and I just very hardly believed that god would have a plan for me and that I’ll eventually see it come to life, and exactly that happened. There is a quote in German that sorta translates to „life is lived forwards and understood backwards“. So you in a year from now will probably understand why you went through the time you are going through at the moment. I really hope you will feel better in the future, I’m keeping all fingers crossed for you and sending you a big hug from Germany XXX
Britney, as soon as you started talking about the SSRI's I wanted to message you and tell you to speak to your doctor about Wellbutrin. I'm really happy you are trying it. I'm a single mother (no support from my child's father at all) of a 4 year old non verbal autistic child. I had suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood and started taking SSRI's at the age of 15. I also suffered from post-partum depression and I too have been going through some of the hardest times of my life with mental health. I want to tell you though that wellbutrin takes much longer to kick in than SSRI's. And for me I felt awful before I felt better but once it started working it happened overnight and I woke up one morning feeling better than I had in years. Just be careful Hun because it does reduce your appetite, for me it's killed it completely. I know like me you lose weight really easily so I do just had to make a concerted effort to eat at least one calorie and nutritionally dense meal every day. But if you have any questions about the medication please dm me. I'm so proud of you for fighting through this
Also constipation on this medicine is a real problem and it's the one side effect that hasn't gone away. For me, it's still absolutely worth it and I suffered from constipation before so it make things a lot worse. Now I do have to use laxatives but you take the good with the bad
Thank you for the openness and transparency. Life comes with so many challenges. I have a 3 year old, I work full time....sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I dont have enough hands to juggle everything on my plate. It feels suffocating and overwhelming. I think a lot of people are struggling in their own ways and it helps to know we aren't alone. Thank you for speaking your truth and I wish you a happy and healthy future ❤ here's to healing.
Brittany, thank you for your vulnerability. It takes so much strength to touch on this, publicly especially. I hope you are able to get out of this dark space. I loved the way you explained the chocolate cake example, that is exactly what it is like. Sending you so much love💖💖
I've been on SSRIs for the last several months due to a debilitating panic disorder. I can finally live my life better and be a better mother to my 4 kiddos ❤
Sharing this with my husband so he can understand. Thank you for being so honest. I love Wellbutrin. I wish I could take it but it gives me a slight tremor and fine motor skills are vital to my job. I would LOVE to take it. It was amazing minus the slight tremor.
I definitely relate to this video more than i wish i did. Thank you for being so open, its something i struggle to do, well dont really do at all, but it helps knowing im not alone. Wishing you peace love and happiness in the days ahead ❤
I am about to start taking Welbutrin. I have been wondering how the first few days starting the medication looked like. Thank you for posting this video. I am sorry to hear you are going through all of this.
Thanks so much for your vulnerability. I went through exactly the same thing just a few months ago and you took the words out of my mouth. It culminated in me having that number ready to dial in case it got too bad. I never got to because I fell asleep. I do also think that some are predisposed to our way of being. I remember talking about it with two friends. I wondered out loud and asked them if they ever go through periods of just not caring whatsoever about anything. Going through the motions. Going to work, being a functioning adult, but just wanting to sleep all the time because you don't care about anything. Both of them said no and I could see a genuine confusion in their eyes. They said they have their bad days but not the way I described it. I really thought that was a common feeling. I too found myself falling into destructive behaviors to numb something or maybe even to feel something? Please listen to the song Till I Found You by Phil Wickham. This feeling comes in waves. I think I'm in one right now too. Sending you love and hugs 🤍
I know it’s sounds wild, but something did feel off during your threenager video. I’m sending you lots of peace and love as you water your life and wait for the bloom. I’ve been there too. ❤️
The cake metaphor was so good! Thank you for sharing ❤ This was so brave and vulnerable and I'm grateful for the lives you help and even saved by posting this.
It was really endearing to hear you speak so candidly. That’s an unbelievably difficult thing to do, especially online. I just adore you even more now. 💜
Our kids are the same age, we separated at the same time and I have been the most depressed I’ve ever been since January. You’re not alone. I feel completely detached and uncomfortable and like I’m drowning 24/7 and I am so incredibly alone and isolated and it’s terrible.
Very brave of you, girl 🥰 If possible, please make a video later about your journey growing up and explain about your parents. Share all the good ideas and a few things you would have changed in your parenthood journey. Your parents are very lovely, especially considering the time when there was no media. I think they were among the most open-minded of their generation. I personally have not had that experience 🥲, so I would greatly appreciate it if you could explain. It might help us in our journey of raising our kids.
Praying for you Brittany❤️ I know the feeling you’re describing and it’s very debilitating. Self sabotaging and all that. I know you go to therapy so that’s great! But I also want to say Jesus set me free. Not that my life is 100% perfect all the time but my mindset did a full 180 and that is what changed everything.
I've watched your videos for what feels like over fifteen years, you were the beautiful girl with the colorful hair talking about her life, an aspirational big sister in this parasocial world that is youtube. Like me, many of us send you lots of strength and encouragement Brittany, you are not alone and we love you. Big hugs
Honestly, I did have a clue, or more than one that something was going on with you underneath, I did notice. Those who also struggle with these type of things can recognize it right away. Also your natural personality did seem a bit different, but it's okay sometimes to not be okay, as they say. You are helping to HEAL others with this video, while in turn helping to heal YOURSELF. This was so well said, and we understand especially those who have been following you for years. ❤
Thank you for sharing the not so happy and fun side of life. I just recently got myself out of a dark hole, I assume my hormones and brain was also doing its part in getting me back to "normal" after a year or two of postpartum depression. I was raised (and also due to my culture) to pull yourself up by the bootstraps as it isn't really encouraged to seek help from a therapist/medication, which I know is so wrong but that's just the way I was raised to deal with things. As a stay at home mom that already has a tight budget I just know I wouldn't be able to afford help either. I could very well just be putting on a bandaid and not dealing with the root of the issue but for now I just have to power through and be present for my toddler. Keep going and I really hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I've tried a bunch of different antidepressants and ended up doing genesight testing. It is a cheek swab test and can be a guide of what should work for you. Using the results I've found a combo for me that works fairly well. It also confirmed that the ones I said didn't go well were on the no go list.
Thank you for speaking up! Glad you go the help and support you need. It’s tough sometimes. We focus so much on taking care of our kids that we forget we need to be taken care of too. I can imagine that is harder being a single mom. Typically, there’s no someone there daily to let you be you and not just be mom 24/7. I can’t relate but I definitely have empathy and sympathy for the single moms working hard. I do know what the monster of depression is though. You’ll get through it and see the light on the other side. Brittany we love you so much. ❤
I had to pause the video. I am so saddened that you felt this way. I am so saddened that you called the hotline not because you didn’t need help but because I never want anyone to feel what I have dealt with. It’s never easy, no one ever understands, esp people you know. I am pregnant so I’m hormonal but I relate so hard. I hear you, I see you, I feel you. ❤ Please reach out to others, continue to make the best decisions for you as far as medication or time away, and please please reach out if you need to talk about anything! I’m Megan btw and I’ve been around watching your channel silently since you announced you’re pregnancy with Arrow. You helped me dress myself and go through my first pregnancy years later. Sending all the love!
It’s sooooo hard to give yourself love compared to outwardly giving love to others. Bc that would mean I like myself, I am my biggest hater and my loudest demon. It gets easier, I was on lexapro for about 2 yrs, been off of it for about 2 months and the medication helped me get to a point where I could handle things again. Life goes on my love, wishing you all the best.
THANKS for this conversation, your honesty, by sharing your struggle, and your courage in speaking about this, you then empower yourself, and also empower others to do the same.❤
I really don’t want to offend anyone who doesn’t believe in God, but if you do believe in God…something that helps me feel deeply is by praying to God. “Please God fill me up with your light. Please God fill me with your love. Please God help me. Please God help me. Please God help me.” If you’re not spiritual, maybe give it a try and just see how you feel. ❤️
Your content has helped me a lot with my 2 year old; I've been following you since your pregnancy. Thank you for your vulnerability, it will help a lot of people to understand depression. You are appreciated!
😭 I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling! I hope your therapy is helping and that you like your new meds 🩷 life can just be so hard. Always thinking of you!!!
You don’t want to burden others, especially when you feel like nothing they could say or do could really change what you feel inside. Also, I don’t have truly kind and thoughtful people in my family, and I do think they would feel burdened by me reaching out. Their thoughts, I DO have everything I could ever want in life, so how could I truly be that bad. 😞
i am also currently going through an incredibly dark time at the moment. i can relate greatly despite our "problems" probably being very different. sending you lots of love brittany
I'm glad you are open about your journey. I relate to this on every level; as a mom who suffers with depression and a content creator. You will get through this low and we are there for you. I will watch anything tbh so don't feel pressure to hide or curate a perfect video.
I appreciate your vulnerability, it’s courageous 🙌 I relate to your feelings of over empathizing with people, one of the first things that i learnt in therapy is that there’s a difference between identifying with someone’s emotions and empathizing with someone. For me it was a way of avoiding my own emotions which would then lead to burnout and depression. Sharing in case it helps😊
We hear you and our hearts go out to you. It’s going to be a journey. I’m happy you have a support system of friends and family, especially a loving mother. Breathe, sister. Love and light.
As a single mom with absolutely 0 support, family, or friends. This might have possibly saved my life. I really needed this. Thank you for your vulnerability, Brittany
Motherhood was never meant to be done alone 🤦♀️ and u should give yourself some grace on the bad days because if ur doing this alone ur a Rockstar 🎉 ur not alone in ur loneliness and lack of help...
Girl you are so loved. Try to take time for yourself when your child is at daycare. Ask your neighbour for help, or put up an ad for a babysitter girl in your area
It's really hard to be single for years and years when you are partnership oriented. It's really hard to be a single mom. It's really hard to have depression. I feel for you. I hope you have support from a therapist and consider modalities like EMDR for the traumas you carry - your divorce, that guy that cheated on you rampantly, and stuff that hurt you in childhood all count as traumas and they may be holding you back more than you realize. I wish you the best on your healing journey.
Seconding this. There is definitely some consistency with partners chosen that point to unresolved trauma, that subconsciously one knows can't give you what you need or deserve. Even in this example, dating someone that much younger - you're in different places in life.
❤
I didn't understand why I couldn't be like all the other moms who happily played with their kid at the park or did blocks on the floor. Like, how do I not have the energy or motivation to SIT ON THE FLOOR. I didn't know why getting a hug from my 3.5-year-old daughter felt awkward when it shouldn't. Why didn't the look of sadness and disappointment from her hit me when I'd say I don't want to play today? It's only been recently I've been asking myself could I be depressed? But I wasn't sad, nor hopeless, or any other words I've heard used to describe depression... there was just nothing. No joy when my daughter did something funny. Or sadness when I should be sad. I'd never heard apathy in the same sentence as depression. Got pregnant with my one and only daughter April 2020 and I've felt this way since. But first you attribute it to pregnancy, then birth, then postpartum, then adjusting to having a toddler, then the "threenager" stage and then.... this video made me realize if I still feel this way, it's probably been around since 2020. You're not alone in this, and surprisingly, I guess I'm not either.
Thank you for sharing this. I have a 3.5 year old as well. I find myself not having the motivation to play with her and feeling like she doesn’t like me. That thought gets to my head so much..
Wow. You just described myself…
I’ve been through so much trauma and I don’t know what this is but your voice and when you talk about things I know Incan relate to or a similar experience I feel so much more calm and understood which helps so much..so crazy but I rewatched this a couple times and I have to say I love your mind and how you put thought and effort into understanding the emotions your feeling before your just talk about them openly..it’s refreshing
WOW.... thank you for being so honest... a lot of people go through these type of dark moments in life and sharing your experience validates emotions so much, it's completely ok to not share things in the moment while you get through it but here you are making the necessary changes to start to flourish again it is a journey and were so proud of you!
Been on an ssri for 8 years. Sometimes we up the dose and sometimes we lower it. I always explain depression to people like this:
You know how it feels when you have to poop?! Doesn't matter if you're in the car or whatever. You have to go, and your body will not stop notifying you. You can't mind over matter your way out of eventually taking a poop. You have no choice. Its going to happen eventually. When you're suffering from clinical depression, your body will not stop notifying you. You can't mind over matter it and eventually you are going to have a break down. You have no choice. Its going to happen eventually.
For some reason people can always relate to poop lol. ❤❤❤ Feel better soon. I just upped my meds last week.
The body only does what the mind/brain tells it to do. It’s all connect. I would try approaching this holistically (focusing on the whole) also reading mind change. This woman had over 100 diseases, fatal diseases, smaller ones like depression, and she cured it all by changed her mindset. It is all connected, doctors have been lying to you trying to make money (and successfully doing it)
@@X-de4io that's not even close to being true and is dangerously close to sounding like spiritual psychosis
@@lemonadewithstrawberries it is true actually! You should further research it
@@X-de4ioYou need to up your dose, bud. Jesus. Hahaha
@@lemonadewithstrawberriesit’s actually true ! there’s a connect between gut and brain and everything else falls suit
I’ve been on an SSRI for almost 10 years. I take it for anxiety and I also feel like it’s hard to explain what it is like to deal with anxiety and/or depression to people.Thanks for sharing and I am sending you lots of positive vibes in this journey. You got this
You explained perfectly what depression is like, especially the part about gratefulness. It is such an empty feeling. Thank you for being so honest and brave to share this video. Sending love and healing 🤍
I just finished praying for you, your daughter and her dad.
After watching your video and praying, it made it cry 😢
I can feel your pain while you were talking. I can’t imagine going through depression & I can’t imagine what you went through as a child.
I read in one of the comments about finding a church. Please give it a try and see what happens.
I believe there is a pastor that I really like and listen to. He lives in California name Matt Brown @ Sandals Church.
I respect whatever decision you make.
Definitely will continue to pray for you 🙏🏽😢❤️
I love this❤
Love this ❤
My depresion after my second child hit my like a bomb! For me it was, imagine the worst thing happened and someone give to you just the emotions of that tragedy but not the memory. So you are in pain, cry, your body cant realize it but when asked whats wrong you just say "I dont know"! I cried and said to my husband "I dont know, I dont know". No one understand! They are all happy for the baby and you are there just in pain!
I’m wondering if you had a traumatic birth, and have PTSD now. That sounds like post traumatic stress disorder, rather than depression. I’m not a medical professional though. Maybe you should talk to your doctor or psychologist. I hope you feel better soon!
How are you feeling now has the depression gone? And after how many months it subsided
Thank you for being so honest. I love the honesty, motherhood is hard and I don’t think it’s all sunshine and rainbows ever. It’s important to share this with people so you don’t feel alone and they also don’t feel alone. I have felt this way as a mom, why am I not happy all the time? Other moms are? It’s so hard.
This video came at the exact right time for me. Thank YOU for being there.
Girl I feel you ❤ I regularly experience bouts of anxiety and depression but the cause is actually my digestive system. When I have trouble digesting certain foods, my body has a physical reaction. It literally freaks out. It’s trying to alert me that there is something wrong. I become overwhelmed with waves of sadness, shakiness, panic, and it’s terrifying. It continues until my stomach finally settles, but once it does the feelings and the awful thoughts dissipate and I feel like myself again. The only way I get through these episodes without medication and without my thoughts spiralling out of control is to separate my mind from my body in the moment and just observe. I remind myself that my body is feeling like something is wrong but my mind needs to stay calm and in control and just observe these feelings and let them ride through me until they are gone. The awful thoughts try to force their way in but they are just connected to my emotions which are connected to my body so I just tell them ‘no’. I gently tell my body that it’s ok, it’s going to be ok. Then I tell the feeling in my body to leave because it’s not welcome. Eventually it passes. It always happens at night, but it happens far less now that I am able to control it. Perhaps your back injury is what initially triggered these feelings within you and quickly invaded your thoughts and took over but if you go back to the decision maker, the observer - the mind, you can regain control again. I also use this technique to fight my awful PMS symptoms each month (where I feel detached and empty and unmotivated/ unfulfilled which is just not me normally). It really helps me get back to feeling myself again. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts, and remember you are not alone! ❤❤ xxx
I've been on ssri's for roughly 10 years now and my mental health still tanked recently. Sudden panic attacks with no trigger, just completely out of nowhere. I started seroquel a few weeks ago and holyyyyy, I can't believe how much easier everything is already! It's nice to know it can happen to anyone, even women like you who seem to have it all together. Thanks for making me feel less alone in this. ❤
Thank you for sharing your heart and being vulnerable ❤️ I relate hard to this, especially with struggling with depression as an empath/mom part.
I felt like this could have been me talking 😢 the chocolate cake metaphor was spot on and so well said. I’m nearly 31 and a deep empath, and have battled depression for half my life now. It’s the hardest thing ever and it’s such a viscous and continuous rollercoaster of a life living with it. Highly sensitive people are definitely prone to depression I’ve noticed over the years. What you said about being a mom how we’re forced to function no matter how we feel, can really bury the underlying issues more and more day by day until we feel completely bone dry and depleted if we aren’t taking the necessary steps to help ourselves. I can relate more than you know, and I’m proud of you for taking the initiative to get help, you’ve motivated me to do the same. You are far from alone! God bless you, I hope you start feeling like your beautiful self again soon.
I’ve been with my husband since I was 16 years old. Textbook high school sweetheart. Together more than half our lives. I loved him to death through all of our faults. All of HIS issues, and yet he left on deployment and found a girlfriend on his ship. Meanwhile, I was holding it down at home with a 2 and 3 year old. Horrible. Absolutely terrible thing to go through. BUT I’m finally feeling like myself again. My kids and I moved out of state and we’re so happy. I can’t believe how unhappy I was without even knowing. I had to leave to realize that I was actually miserable with him. I’ve definitely healed over the last 6 months.
I’m so sorry for you and glad ur doing better
I live in constant fear that my partner will leave me for a younger woman
Hi Brittany, I've been taking Welbutrin since July 2021 and it was the best things I've ever done. Very little side effect and I haven't had a depressive episode since.
Girl… I had to pause the video to comment because everything you’re saying is hitting me hard. I’m also a single mom. I love my daughter so sooo much, but I’ve been struggling lately. I do my best to put on a smile, say “oh wow’s that’s so beautiful” to her scribbled drawings she draws for me, “that’s amazing” to her block towers, but inside, the happiness just hasn’t been there. I also just got diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver, so I think that has a lot to do with it, but sometimes, I just feel like.. idk, I don’t feel anything but bad. I’m sorry you’re going through it as well. It really is just trying to take it one day at a time and knowing things will eventually get better if you seek the help you need. Much love from one mommy to another ♥️
I have bipolar and it kicked in when I went through something very traumatic. It runs in my mom’s side of the family. I also have CPTSD from my childhood. Depression is scary. One day I’m thinking about how much my kids love and need me and then the depression kicks in and I’m thinking they’d be better off without me. I go through it often with having bipolar. I’m glad you reached out for help and you’re feeling better. I know how hard that can be. ❤
Oh, Brittany ❤️ So sorry you’re going through so much. I relate to a lot of this and appreciate what you said about your viewers being your friends, I know it’s weird and parasocial or whatever but we truly do care about you. Sending love!
I wish I could give you a great big hug! ❤️ I’ve been through some really tough times too, and an anti-depressant really helped me out. I feel like my brain is just wired a certain way, aka off-kilter, and medicine gets me to where I should be chemically. Depression will try to convince you otherwise, but there is no shame in needing help or not being okay.
Thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your life with us.
Praying for you and your mental health! Everything you said is so relatable! I’m a mom and I thank God for giving me my daughter because she was the only motivation I had to live for a long time. Thank you for being honest so that Incan remind myself I’m not alone in this. To all the others commenting who’s struggling we’re in this together! We got this
Thank you for sharing. ❤ This was helpful. I have been wondering where the line is between being just tired and depressed. I have noticed that feeling too what you described, when things that should bring you joy just won’t. I used to be that guy you dated but for some time now I have had hard time finding joy in moments where I used to. I still feel negative feelings like before, but positive feelings are less strong than what they used to be.
Thank you❤ thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing your truth so eloquently.
this has to be one of my favourite videos of yours, ever…
I really needed to watch this today.
Your depression analogy was amazing
I’m a 40 y.o. psychotherapist and have also battled mental health concerns my entire life. I really love that you were so candid in this video. And also that you called a hotline. Takes so much strength to be vulnerable!
Thank you for being so candid about what you're going through. I had been going through a real hard time for the past year and 1⁄2 and A little over a year ago I got on the same medication you are on and it is help me so much. My anxiety was out of contfol. I couldnt even drive and I felt so down about myself and I was so tired of feeling like that. I'm so thankful for my therapist and This medicine
This is EXACTLY how I have been feeling and it is so comforting knowing I am not alone. Thank you...
Thank you Brittany for this video, I love your personality and your gentleness. I went through the same as you, so I know, what you are talking about. You are doing the right steps and I see your strength, so I don't doubt you are going out of this. In my case the trigger is lack of self time. But I didn't know, what type of self time is healing for me. And I read about hypersensitivity, which may be the same with you, as you mentioned your empathy to others. And for hypersensitive people is time alone the best way to heal. For me it is time, when I am alone, in silent place, at home or in the nature, reading a book or just doing nothing. I need just let my thoughts sit down, absorb everything from past days, adjust them, just think about everything I need to think. I need to separate my thoughts and feelings from the others, which are not mine. Because I can't handle others feelings. I just can handle mine. And I need the time for it and I can do it only, when I am alone. So I wish you all the best in the coming days and will pray for your mental health and recovery. Greetings from Slovakia :)
Thank you for being so honest. You got this. We got this.
Not all ssris are the same! I tried one and felt like a zombie but I’ve been on a different one for 4 years and it’s amazing. Feel better than I have since I was a child.
Life is not easy 💕💖 sending love. I've been on an ssri for a long time. Not sure if I've felt a difference on it, I think therapy is the answer. Just wanted to say that you do deserve privacy, and we aren't owed to know certain aspects of your life at all, unless you're willing to share. thank you for opening up. 💕 I think it's important to be vulnerable and honest in your own time. I hope your mom is doing well health wise!
Been on antidepressants myself for 10 years consistently. I also feel like i have one of those brains that doesnt work the same as others. I look at it like, if i had diabetes or asthma, i would take regular medication to help keep me safe and alive. Its no different treating depression.
No major reason for my depression either, i was always a highly anxious child and my dad was a drinker (still is but doesnt effect my life the same) so this added to all my worry about everything but ive worked on myself a lot over the years. I am number one, and if i am ok, my children will be too. I dont always get it right but i dont put too much pressure on myself, i am overwhelmed a lot so yesterday for example a friend came and helped me clean and tidy my house and today me and my daughter (3) are having a tv rest day because sometimes i just need to reset.
Youve been through some stuff recently, your mums cancer diagnosis too will have sent you through a loop. My mum was also a very stable parent in my life too and i am thankful for that.
I’ve just been going through the same thing. I was dissociating lots, having those same thoughts. Was too scared to call the hotline. Stopped and and all routines I had. I struggled very hard to be a mom, and outbursts of anger etc. I’m glad your doing better
Thank you for being so honest. This video has helped me and I think it is necessary to normalize that depressive episodes do happen to many of us. It's hard to relate if you haven't experienced but seeing someone like you whose light is so bright share, allows people to be more empathetic. I will be praying for you sis.❤ and know you will get through this. 🫶🫶🫶
Hi, mom of two little girls 3 and 1. I have watched a lot of your videos and I really enjoy them but never comment usually. I really connect with your motherhood journey and personality. I wanted to let you know that I appreciate all your videos because you're authentic and honest. I love your close relationship with your mom. I lost my mom at 19 and we were incredibly close and I like to envision what it would be like if I still had her with me. Anyways I want to thank you for all you put out there for everyone. I don't get out there to socialize as much as I probably should because I'm naturally introverted and watching your videos feels like I'm hanging out with a friend which on days when I can't get out there is soooo helpful for my mental health and I wanted to put that out there in case you read your comments and get to this one, I am definitely a person out there that your content helps! ❤ I feel like I wanted to make sure I commented this time as a small way to try and return a tiny bit of that favor back to you!
Thanks for sharing ❤ currently going through my own depression journey and it's so helpful to know you're not the only one who feels this way xx
Ive battled depression off and on my whole life, and it turned into pp anxiety that went through the roof. And then dissociation from myself and my baby. Ive been on the edge many times in my life and ba k thrn didnt even know the hotline existed.
I also feel it much harder if im mot exercising regularly, if i eat too much bad food. But my biggest trigger is alone time snd sleep. If i dont get enough of those it can get dark really quick.
I am on an ssri, but its incidental. I have chronic nerve pain and thats the only medication that effectively blocks the pain signal to my brain.
But it also felt like someone was turning on the xmas tree lights in my brain. Like suddenly my brain was BETTER, in ways i hadnt stopped to consider might not be functioning well. It also helps me sleep. So 3 birds 1 pill.
I absolutely believe environment plays a big big part. But people's forget to count the positive influences in their environment, like your mom was for you. We sort of automatically assume environmental influences must be bad ones, and maybe they arent. I developed a lot of coping skills growing up to get through the traumatic parts. Some of them werent good and i had to unlearn them later. But some were good, and im always wirking on developing more positive ones.
Life is such a journey, the path goes up down and everywhere else. We're here for you. Most of us even understand on a personal level.😊
I really appreciate your metaphor for depression. I’ve struggled with depression ever since I was a child. I didn’t know that it had a name until I was older.
Now, I am a mom. I definitely relate to what you said about being a mom with depression. I am so glad that you reached out for help. Thank you so much for sharing! I hope you find your rhythm again soon. ♥️
Appreciate you being open and sharing such vulnerable things
Thank you for posting this 🥺 i have been struggling and this has helped me feel a tiny bit less alone. I hope you can find your happiness again❤
Thank you so much for sharing 💓 my ex husband and father of my daughter has struggled with depression for years and I think that this just helped me understand what he’s been struggling with better than I ever have so thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing
I feel this so much ❤️ sending you love.
You look really strong and aspiring. I suffer from severe ocd, health anxiety and depression and every time I watched your videos I admired you for handling motherhood so well. Now that you opened up with your mental health I admire you even more. It is very brave to express your real self and in this way you brought us closer to you. I am also a mom and suffer with guilt and disappointment for having mental issues whereas my life seems great. Mental issues don't ask they just happen for various reasons and we just have to handle them for our own and people's around us good. Keep being you, Keep being strong 💪💪 Life is hard but also beautiful we just have to push harder! 😉😉
You are so kind to be so vulnerable and open and speak the words that you yourself might have needed to hear just to help even one person that might be feeling the same. Thank you for this.
You are not alone, sis ❤ I went down a dark dark path and it almost feels unreal. So I appreciate your vulnerability ❤ last year I had an 8month depressive episode. Stuff happens and then it’s over. Also a single mom coparenting. It’s rough.
You have such a sweet transparent way to communicate. Thanks for sharing I’m sure it helps a lot of people. And hope you find your way back to tasting chocolate cake! You’re not broken we’re all just different. I’ll keep you in my prayers! 💜
Thank you so much for this. You are not alone in this! ❤ I have a very similar journey and it helps so so much knowing you do too. So truly, thank you.
Hey lady🤍
I have been where you are, I am currently where you are. I have had three miscarriages this year alone with one ending in a D&C. I am miscarrying right now.
All the pain I've had, my first born, born with no breath at 34 weeks pregnant, I can honestly say that nothing helped me other than Jesus.
And I know, I know, that sounds so stupid to most people. Most people will push going to church on you, but in all honesty, I opened a Bible, and read it for myself and i prayed to Him and asked for comfort. I said to show me that you're truly here, and He met me.
Without a church, or a pastor.
I know you are such a open minded woman, just ask Him if he would comfort you and show Himself.
We all love you so much, and life is so much more than the happy moments. It's full of sorrow and pain. Most of the time pain we don't understand.
Love you.
My gosh I’m so sorry you’re going through that. What a hard, hard year it’s been for you. I pray healing and wholeness over you and your womb. Your comment was very well said and I hope it’s exactly what Brittany needs to hear ❤️
Thank you for your honesty, Brittany. I have never related to you more on so many levels. That place where you logically understand that you have so many great things in your life to appreciate, yet you cannot, you just don't have this capacity. That place is very dark by itself and we tend to make it even worse in our head by blaming ourselves or thinking that something is broken at our core. And it definitely may feel lonely and scary because it seems like no one can fully comprehend your struggles. Your video will help a ton of people for sure. I know that it would have helped me a lot just half a year ago when I hit my own rock bottom.
I'm also a single mom. Had my baby about 2 years ago. Started a very difficult divorce process about half a year after my son was born. Unfortunately, in my case my relationship with my son's father is not one that anyone would want. I also enjoy having a clear routine and doing physical activity for my physical and mental state. Last fall I got a bad injury and discovered that I have arthrosis and wouldn't be able to play my favorite sport for at least half a year or train on a daily basis like I normally did. It was devastating at the time and it only got worse with time and constant negative self-talk. My bad habits blossomed out of this situation. And at some point it felt like I would never enjoy living my life, doing my favorite activities, playing with my son and so many more things anymore.
Honestly, at that time I wasn't feeling grateful for anything and I felt ashamed because of that. My recovery process took about 4 months and is actually still going on at a smaller level.
And I finally reached this place that I felt like I could never reach. I can deeply feel this gratitude every day now and still continue nurturing it, because life is life, and it doesn't always feel good.
With my whole heart I wish you to slowly and steadily build this nice place for yourself mentally where you will feel calm and peaceful. You are an amazing creator, a great inspiration to so many people including myself!
Please, take good care of yourself, as good as you would for your loved one/daughter/mother/close friend. Hug your inner wounded/broken/angry/sad/guilty self more frequently ❤
Thanks for shining light on this. I know it was probably so difficult to record this video. You ARE stronger than you are giving yourself credit for, this video is proof. Depression is isolating, keeps you quiet, and steals your voice. This video and your story and honesty is proof of your immense strength. Thank you so much for sharing ❤ sending so many hugs
I’ve been on Wellbutrin (besides pregnancy) for 5 years and Prozac as well. It’s done wonders.
I’ve been on either an SSRI or SNRI for 15 years. I’m 30. It gets better.
Depression is one huge pain in the ass, I have 1,5 years of therapy behind me and it was the best decision I have ever taken. I prayed a lot during that time (not that you have to do the same) and I just very hardly believed that god would have a plan for me and that I’ll eventually see it come to life, and exactly that happened.
There is a quote in German that sorta translates to „life is lived forwards and understood backwards“. So you in a year from now will probably understand why you went through the time you are going through at the moment. I really hope you will feel better in the future, I’m keeping all fingers crossed for you and sending you a big hug from Germany XXX
Britney, as soon as you started talking about the SSRI's I wanted to message you and tell you to speak to your doctor about Wellbutrin. I'm really happy you are trying it. I'm a single mother (no support from my child's father at all) of a 4 year old non verbal autistic child. I had suffered from depression and anxiety since childhood and started taking SSRI's at the age of 15. I also suffered from post-partum depression and I too have been going through some of the hardest times of my life with mental health. I want to tell you though that wellbutrin takes much longer to kick in than SSRI's. And for me I felt awful before I felt better but once it started working it happened overnight and I woke up one morning feeling better than I had in years. Just be careful Hun because it does reduce your appetite, for me it's killed it completely. I know like me you lose weight really easily so I do just had to make a concerted effort to eat at least one calorie and nutritionally dense meal every day. But if you have any questions about the medication please dm me. I'm so proud of you for fighting through this
Also constipation on this medicine is a real problem and it's the one side effect that hasn't gone away. For me, it's still absolutely worth it and I suffered from constipation before so it make things a lot worse. Now I do have to use laxatives but you take the good with the bad
I’m so proud of you! Thank you for being honest so others don’t feel alone! ❤❤
This is so real. Thank you for being honest. It’s so needed and will help so many! Sending all my love and hugs to you.
Thank you for the openness and transparency. Life comes with so many challenges. I have a 3 year old, I work full time....sometimes I feel like I can't keep up with everything. I dont have enough hands to juggle everything on my plate. It feels suffocating and overwhelming. I think a lot of people are struggling in their own ways and it helps to know we aren't alone. Thank you for speaking your truth and I wish you a happy and healthy future ❤ here's to healing.
Your cake analogy was spot on. Thank you for sharing❤
Brittany, thank you for your vulnerability. It takes so much strength to touch on this, publicly especially. I hope you are able to get out of this dark space. I loved the way you explained the chocolate cake example, that is exactly what it is like. Sending you so much love💖💖
I've been on SSRIs for the last several months due to a debilitating panic disorder. I can finally live my life better and be a better mother to my 4 kiddos ❤
Sharing this with my husband so he can understand. Thank you for being so honest.
I love Wellbutrin. I wish I could take it but it gives me a slight tremor and fine motor skills are vital to my job. I would LOVE to take it. It was amazing minus the slight tremor.
The chocolate cake analogy! That really hit. 💜
Thank you for sharing your story❤ sending you so many well wishes and prayers for you.
I definitely relate to this video more than i wish i did. Thank you for being so open, its something i struggle to do, well dont really do at all, but it helps knowing im not alone. Wishing you peace love and happiness in the days ahead ❤
I am about to start taking Welbutrin. I have been wondering how the first few days starting the medication looked like. Thank you for posting this video. I am sorry to hear you are going through all of this.
Thanks so much for your vulnerability. I went through exactly the same thing just a few months ago and you took the words out of my mouth. It culminated in me having that number ready to dial in case it got too bad. I never got to because I fell asleep. I do also think that some are predisposed to our way of being. I remember talking about it with two friends. I wondered out loud and asked them if they ever go through periods of just not caring whatsoever about anything. Going through the motions. Going to work, being a functioning adult, but just wanting to sleep all the time because you don't care about anything. Both of them said no and I could see a genuine confusion in their eyes. They said they have their bad days but not the way I described it. I really thought that was a common feeling. I too found myself falling into destructive behaviors to numb something or maybe even to feel something?
Please listen to the song Till I Found You by Phil Wickham. This feeling comes in waves. I think I'm in one right now too. Sending you love and hugs 🤍
I know it’s sounds wild, but something did feel off during your threenager video. I’m sending you lots of peace and love as you water your life and wait for the bloom. I’ve been there too. ❤️
So much love Brittany ❤ been there, thank you for this!
I’m so sorry❤ sending love. I feel like we could be friends if you ever come to Nola…
The cake metaphor was so good! Thank you for sharing ❤ This was so brave and vulnerable and I'm grateful for the lives you help and even saved by posting this.
It was really endearing to hear you speak so candidly. That’s an unbelievably difficult thing to do, especially online. I just adore you even more now. 💜
Our kids are the same age, we separated at the same time and I have been the most depressed I’ve ever been since January. You’re not alone. I feel completely detached and uncomfortable and like I’m drowning 24/7 and I am so incredibly alone and isolated and it’s terrible.
Very brave of you, girl 🥰 If possible, please make a video later about your journey growing up and explain about your parents. Share all the good ideas and a few things you would have changed in your parenthood journey. Your parents are very lovely, especially considering the time when there was no media. I think they were among the most open-minded of their generation. I personally have not had that experience 🥲, so I would greatly appreciate it if you could explain. It might help us in our journey of raising our kids.
Praying for you Brittany❤️ I know the feeling you’re describing and it’s very debilitating. Self sabotaging and all that. I know you go to therapy so that’s great! But I also want to say Jesus set me free. Not that my life is 100% perfect all the time but my mindset did a full 180 and that is what changed everything.
I've watched your videos for what feels like over fifteen years, you were the beautiful girl with the colorful hair talking about her life, an aspirational big sister in this parasocial world that is youtube. Like me, many of us send you lots of strength and encouragement Brittany, you are not alone and we love you. Big hugs
Woah this was really vulnerable. You are super strong and mature for getting help, much love always to you and your daughter❤
Honestly, I did have a clue, or more than one that something was going on with you underneath, I did notice. Those who also struggle with these type of things can recognize it right away. Also your natural personality did seem a bit different, but it's okay sometimes to not be okay, as they say. You are helping to HEAL others with this video, while in turn helping to heal YOURSELF. This was so well said, and we understand especially those who have been following you for years. ❤
Brittany Balyn, I can't get enough of your content, so I subscribed!
I’m always here 😅
Thank you for sharing the not so happy and fun side of life. I just recently got myself out of a dark hole, I assume my hormones and brain was also doing its part in getting me back to "normal" after a year or two of postpartum depression. I was raised (and also due to my culture) to pull yourself up by the bootstraps as it isn't really encouraged to seek help from a therapist/medication, which I know is so wrong but that's just the way I was raised to deal with things. As a stay at home mom that already has a tight budget I just know I wouldn't be able to afford help either. I could very well just be putting on a bandaid and not dealing with the root of the issue but for now I just have to power through and be present for my toddler. Keep going and I really hope you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I've tried a bunch of different antidepressants and ended up doing genesight testing. It is a cheek swab test and can be a guide of what should work for you. Using the results I've found a combo for me that works fairly well. It also confirmed that the ones I said didn't go well were on the no go list.
Thank you for speaking up! Glad you go the help and support you need. It’s tough sometimes. We focus so much on taking care of our kids that we forget we need to be taken care of too. I can imagine that is harder being a single mom. Typically, there’s no someone there daily to let you be you and not just be mom 24/7. I can’t relate but I definitely have empathy and sympathy for the single moms working hard. I do know what the monster of depression is though. You’ll get through it and see the light on the other side. Brittany we love you so much. ❤
I had to pause the video. I am so saddened that you felt this way. I am so saddened that you called the hotline not because you didn’t need help but because I never want anyone to feel what I have dealt with. It’s never easy, no one ever understands, esp people you know.
I am pregnant so I’m hormonal but I relate so hard. I hear you, I see you, I feel you. ❤
Please reach out to others, continue to make the best decisions for you as far as medication or time away, and please please reach out if you need to talk about anything!
I’m Megan btw and I’ve been around watching your channel silently since you announced you’re pregnancy with Arrow. You helped me dress myself and go through my first pregnancy years later.
Sending all the love!
It’s sooooo hard to give yourself love compared to outwardly giving love to others. Bc that would mean I like myself, I am my biggest hater and my loudest demon. It gets easier, I was on lexapro for about 2 yrs, been off of it for about 2 months and the medication helped me get to a point where I could handle things again. Life goes on my love, wishing you all the best.
This is brave and will touch so many people, me included ❤️ Thank you for sharing
You articulated this so well. ❤️
THANKS for this conversation, your honesty, by sharing your struggle, and your courage in speaking about this, you then empower yourself, and also empower others to do the same.❤
I really don’t want to offend anyone who doesn’t believe in God, but if you do believe in God…something that helps me feel deeply is by praying to God. “Please God fill me up with your light. Please God fill me with your love. Please God help me. Please God help me. Please God help me.”
If you’re not spiritual, maybe give it a try and just see how you feel. ❤️
Thank you for your honesty ❤
This is so helpful. Thank you 🫶🏽
Wow I really appreciate your chocolate cake analogy.
Your content has helped me a lot with my 2 year old; I've been following you since your pregnancy. Thank you for your vulnerability, it will help a lot of people to understand depression. You are appreciated!
😭 I’m so sorry you’ve been struggling! I hope your therapy is helping and that you like your new meds 🩷 life can just be so hard. Always thinking of you!!!
You don’t want to burden others, especially when you feel like nothing they could say or do could really change what you feel inside.
Also, I don’t have truly kind and thoughtful people in my family, and I do think they would feel burdened by me reaching out. Their thoughts, I DO have everything I could ever want in life, so how could I truly be that bad. 😞
i am also currently going through an incredibly dark time at the moment. i can relate greatly despite our "problems" probably being very different. sending you lots of love brittany
I'm glad you are open about your journey. I relate to this on every level; as a mom who suffers with depression and a content creator. You will get through this low and we are there for you. I will watch anything tbh so don't feel pressure to hide or curate a perfect video.
Thank you for sharing this. It really means alot ❤️❤️❤️
I appreciate your vulnerability, it’s courageous 🙌 I relate to your feelings of over empathizing with people, one of the first things that i learnt in therapy is that there’s a difference between identifying with someone’s emotions and empathizing with someone. For me it was a way of avoiding my own emotions which would then lead to burnout and depression. Sharing in case it helps😊
We hear you and our hearts go out to you. It’s going to be a journey. I’m happy you have a support system of friends and family, especially a loving mother. Breathe, sister. Love and light.