“It’s a temporary feeling that I keep repeating in moments when I’m avoiding my feelings that are painful” it’s so true!! I’ve been noticing the same thing
What a cruel society we live in, where we self impose a need of completing our life by 24yo, or by 30 or whatever age we are. We don't need to have everything sorted out, sometimes we fail, sometimes we succed, sometimes we are just there and there is nothing wrong with it. You are not alone, it's a change of mindset we need as a society, but it also starts with everyone of us. Be gentle with yourself, no matter your age, we are all learning to live, whether you have 18, 24, 30 or 80 years old. This is our first time here, for all of us.
Please, never give up filmaking. Your storytelling is phenomenal. This 10-minute video made me tear up. Thanks for putting into words what many people (myself included) struggle to describe. This is possibly my favourite video on the internet right now. You earned a new suscriber! ❤
This was wonderfully crafted. You aren't alone. I just turned 35 and feel like I've only just got out of my flop era when I hit 30. 20's are such a stressful time, everyone I knew was confused about their life at that age. I lived in my parent's basement during my whole 20's teaching myself animation as a hermit, we all have to follow our own paths. We're all in this life experiment together, keep going and sharing things!
@@goldiepink Awesome! Don't give up. Animation is very difficult but so worth it in the end to see those images in your head come to life for others to see. You got this, one step at a time :)
Thank you for sharing this perspective. I'm happy for you that you're out of your flop era! It's worth it to pursue a creative path even when it's hard. Thank you for watching!
I don't like calling things a "masterpiece", but I can't find another word to describe what I just watched. Fantastic work, thank you for sharing this with us!
This was very beautiful, and I loved how the video is a screen recording, it makes it feel a lot more personal. As someone who's also artistically inclined, I feel like people often don't understand how big this NEED to create is. I truly love creating, more than anything else, but that love has also been the source of so much fear, frustration and anxiety. And It's good to know other people experience the same things I do. I've been watching some of your videos, and I really think you should be proud of what you've made. You got many emotions out of me, and I'm happy I watched them. I hope that whenever imposter syndrome hits, you'll remember how many people, like me, have felt things because of your art.
I don't know what to say, really - Somehow RUclips suggested your video to me .. I was captivated from the first second and to the end .. You know what? - I felt something, I felt hope .. This was the best 10 minutes I've spent in a long time watching. I had just released my EP "Driftworn" and needed to take a deep breath, and this happen. Absolutely amazing!
gosh, so happy this exists!! not only because of the subject (which I absolutely relate to) but also the format! i love desktop documentaries. such a specific and underrated format. thanks!
I just wanted to say reaching 3.5k videos on one of your first few videos is an amazing achievement even if it feels like a flop. I’ve just started on RUclips and I am trying to remind myself of that too, which I know is hard
I really, really loved it! Your documentary is incredibly personal, yet so relatable. Your conclusion was strong and left me with hope. This video is touching and helpful, no wonder everyone is liking it!!
I love the positive self reflection at the end, putting everything into a new hopeful perspective. Keep accepting the painful feelings, work with them. Things can change pretty quickly into a wonderful life. I'm only two years older than you, but experienced this too. The bad / flop and now the good / top.
@elanornadorff You're very welcome. If I may add this, to my previous comment: The world will change, if you change yourself. From the inside. It's really interesting to experience how people treat and react to you, if you just change the way, how you think about yourself. Anyway: What I found cool about your video is, that it is kind of breaking the fourth wall, but also shows the first person view. And then there are sections of the 'classical' telling perspective. I really liked these changes, that was very creative and nice to experience!
I thank you very much for making this video; it basically summarized my feelings at the moment. In the end, I'm slowly accepting that I can't do anything else but make art. Photography and video editing have been my passion for quite a long time now, and I plan on keeping it up. However, all those doubts that you pointed out are keeping me from trusting myself. Thank you again for creating :)
I felt every word. I’m currently in a very similar situation, and it felt so personal, almost like facing my own thoughts. It was painful but necessary. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself. I think that’s the best way to create art-by making it real. By the way, I found the format brilliant. You’ve inspired me to get out of my flop era. Thank you.
"a desktop documentary" It was new and creative and congrats that it worked pretty well :) I felt that I'm behind on that computer and googling and typing
Look at all those comments! I think you hit a spot there. I’m in my flop era now, but from the other side where I fluked with initial traction. I wonder what’s worse, never having hit traction or having hit traction, hitting a plateau, realizing your not as smart as you thought, that it was luck and not knowing how to replicate it. I’d definitely take advantage of your algorithm wave now, as with my example it doesn’t mean for sure you finally found a breakthrough.
I definitely think about this a lot. I sort of think all traction is fickle, your standards for what's "good" just change as you grow. I try to focus on making art I'm really proud of and challenging myself to learn something new with each video. Then the performance doesn't matter as much to me. Easier said than done though. I'm wishing you the best!
this is exactly how i feel right now. i’m currently in my “transitional period”, everything feels up in the air. i’m making new decisions and i’m starting to figure out my own place in the world. i’m only 19 years old yet i feel like i have already lived all of my life. this year has been a lot, more than i can fully comprehend, but i got through it. i’m alive, i am well, i am a filmmaker, and i am glad to be alive
This video came to me after a conversation with my mother about moving home from the city I love. She told me this wouldn’t be forever but the belief I’m not enough overrode her kindness in the moment. It’s been almost six months I’ve been out of work now. After I graduated last year, I was working as an artist’s assistant. A job in my field right after art school and I felt as though I had done everything right. Projects ended and the work ran out, my connections aren’t connecting me anywhere. People have told me recently it seems I have no real direction and honestly, I find myself agreeing with them. I can feel myself resigning to terrible beliefs I hold about myself, that I’ll never live the creative life I want. Thank you for sharing your experience. You’ve reminded me my life is still mine and worth living even though it’s not the one I desire most.
please dont delete this. maybe im not a lot of views but this format, topic, timing, editing, everything got me and tbh just made me feel that im not alone. i just paused the video to write 4 pages in my journal because of the thoughts that this video got me thinking.
It’s crazy how one video was able to perfectly capture all of these nebulous feelings I had for quite a while now. Thank you. I think I might just try documenting them, like you did, just to create *something*. I wish you the best of luck with your channel and career, keep going!
Thank you so much for your support!! You should definitely document your feelings and experiences. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Wishing you the best:)
kudos on doing the heavy lifting to come to that conclusion, rlly beautifully put. im also 24 n had a lot of overlap to yr situation of being a covid grad, moving back in w parents, "locking in" and getting nowhere, long stretch of being single, fear of failure, being rejected from creative/academic spaces, return to service industry etc etc. i had not gotten to the feeling my way through the fear step yet though n this felt like a very necessary thing to hear. it's cool tht something so personal can apply to n help others but regardless congrats on making this just for yourself. cool that the algo is showing it off but even if it wasnt, just that in itself worth being proud of. keep going
Thank you so much for writing this nice comment. I'm wishing you the best in overcoming your fears and working towards your goals. I believe in you! Thank you for your support:)
I just lost my job last month and was forced to live out of my car for a week. I moved back in with my mom at the end of that week and yesterday my car broke down. (At least it didn’t happen when I was coming back from the other side of the US) This video was very timely. Thanks for coming across my home page. I decided to film the experience and lowkey it flopped. But its my life and Im proud of it. You reminded me of that. Thank you.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad your mom is there for you. I hope things turn around for you in the future. You should be proud of what you've been through and what you create from it!
Our own shame is our own worst enemy. It's up to us as artists to turn it into something beautiful to share with others. Thank you for watching, I'm wishing you the best!
"... and now I'm going to enjoy my life anyways because I have a great one" is something I will tell myself more, sometimes I get so wrapped up in how I feel and why I feel that way that I don't let myself really live. Super cool vid :)
this hit so hard. i just realised im in my flop era after seeing this video. and every word in this documentary is so true, every description of every emotion. I love it so much because of how honest and raw it is ! i hope this video gets more views cause it deserves it.
As an aspiring artist, this line was especially relatable "I believe it would be as easy as sitting down by my computer using all my exciting new ideas to fuel the hard and tedious work of making a film and do that all day every day. I thought I would be unstoppable. Instead it's a lot like it's always been". Reminds me a lot of how I thought I'll be working rigorously on my art/manga ideas when I'll reach an academic break, but instead it's "a lot like it's always been" Honestly very inspiring video, the soothing ambient music in the background made it feel like a whole different world. thank you for your effort and for this video! Wish you success
Thank you so much for watching! I think artistic work is much different from academic or manual work... it's a unique skillset you have to develop, and it's normal to have low stamina at first. Keep working on your art!!
I’m so glad youtube recommended this. I’ve never seen anything like it and most importantly, I’ve never seen someone depict the ‘my life is falling apart let me frantically google how to fix it’ panic so accurately. Great film, im happy you kept going!
i’ve not had the same experience as you, but I’m definitely in a kind of rut and you’re absolutely right about allowing yourself to feel and live. i’ve had to remind myself of that so much. good luck, i really liked your video.
You're amazing. We're like the same. I'm a painter though.. But this is so, I can't explain. It feels real and its a relief I want to believe somebody on the internet again, finally. I'm so proud of you. Thanks for your work. I think I'm going to sleep better :)
As an artist I feel the exact same way, it feels like you’ll never get out no matter how hard I try. I think I found your video really when I needed it most, it grabbed my attention like no other video on this app in months, and I think that’s a sign that you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. Thank you for sharing your experiences
as a 26 year old living back home with my parents, trying to follow my passion of becoming a writer, this video resonated so much. keep up the great work!
This approach is to relatable, like people use computers like I do. The same interfaces I see everyday, someone else looking at the same interfaces and using the same environment is going through a whole different story and yet I am able to relate to it so much. The different tabs and the sequence one open different windows tell us so much about the person. Wow, this is so amazing. I’m glad I found this. Elanor, You are amazing! ❤
Thank you for your comment! This is a good reminder of how far I've come. It's easy to forget. I'm looking forward for the videos I have planned. Thank you so much for watching!
I love this format. I love how it's like a mise en abyme in my own browser, in my own thoughts of the moment (we have much in common, although living thousands of miles away, and The Algorithm gets a little funny these days). I love how genuine it looks and how sincere it feels like, while being the product of such an intense work. Talking about a "flop era" might be a way of hoping for it to end all at once. I've been feeling this for years, hoping for a revolution that never happened. The big love, the big idea, the big change that never occurred. But you're right. Sometimes big things happen; they happened to me when I was a child; I thought it would happen again, pulling me out of this "wasted" period of time; I've been waiting too long. Sometimes, changes take a long time, and work builds up slowly. I can surely say yours did, because you did this. "Never enough". Of course. But I did also find out that, in fact, we were so bad at telling when anything was "good enough". That the timing was as important as playing the right tune, as in music, so that delivering what you could do *in time* was the only measure of anything being "enough", on your own melody. I guess this video was "not enough". And yet, you did publish it, six days ago, and it touched me, so that was enough to me. I'm happy you did, I'm happy I was here to see it. I feel a bit ridiculous writing all this here, maybe not to be read by the author of the video, yet as I wrote, it touched me. I rarely do so, I'm rarely touched this way. I hope you'll find love & happiness, of course, but also that you'll be able to contemplate what you already did; so do I for anyone who felt touched by this video, as I was. Anywhere there is that kind of emotion, there is hope, I think. Well, sorry :')
love this! i’m a sucker for experimental forms of filmmaking, and this “desktop doc” style is super cool! i think it’s a great way of exploring/critiquing how media affects us. instead of explicitly stating commentary, it can be shown rather than told - ie the chain reaction of clicking, being led to more articles, the thought process that begins to form. looking forward to more of your future work :) 💕💕
Thank you so much for your comment! Using the medium of the desktop documentary to convey the story was my main intention. Thanks for picking up on that! I have some more experimental videos coming up that I'm excited for you to see!
This video hit me at the perfect time. I'm 21, so just a bit younger, but I actually thought I was washed up for not having any noteworthy accomplishments yet while a lot of my friends are getting sweet freelance gigs, or interning at great companies. I hope you make it big on RUclips. If this video is any indication of your artistry then I want to see more.
It's interesting to hear people in their 20s talking about failing in life or not achieving what they'd hoped. So much time left in life. Many people only became successful in their 40s and 50s. Just keep working, keep trying new things, never stop learning and something will happen. Your 20s should be a period of exploration, failure, exploration and failure.
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for this gem. Listen to yourself at the end of this video when you feel down again. It will happen, but it's never forever, and deep down, you clearly know this.
that was awesome, and i can empathise very well. telling myself not to focus on the outcome and just do the thing - it works sometimes, but is very hard other times. keep on keeping on Elanor.
Thank you for creating such a beautiful and touching piece of art. This short film resonated deeply with me, reflecting emotions and experiences from my own life. It moved me to tears and reminded me of the power of storytelling. Your work is truly remarkable-thank you for sharing it with the world.
This is exactly what i needed to see. I believe film is meant to show us sides of ourselves we wouldn’t of seen otherwise because theyre outside of our own view (if that makes sense) and this has done just that for me. Im just turning 21 but i really do feel this road block in my life since the pandemic that has only gotten worse in the past year & im leaving college. Ive been almost torturing myself trying to pursue everything BUT art just because it didnt work out in my favor during college apps 4 years ago. But what good is it being so afraid of failure. We’re not just living til the moment we “get better”, we are living right now!!! Good luck to you and thank you :)
This was a really good film! The execution was so creative! From the opening, I was intrigued, those 10 mins went by without me knowing! And that is a sign of a really good film!
Beautiful inspiring amazing wonderful i relate to everything and i love this video SO MUCH. i am wishing u all the bestest for your filmmaking career and am very inspired by your story
Genuinely love every subtle detail about this except the conclusion. Maybe I am not there yet, maybe it's too good to be true, maybe it's not for me. But as for the rest, it's a very well put together depiction of a very real pov we spend a lot of intimate time with.
Loved the film. Great work! Also, thank you, since I'm in a quite similar situation. I have a dream of making indie art-games, but finding your path creatively can be very stressful, isolating (both in the social as well as in the creative sense) and depressing. The actual process of coming up with ideas and slowly turning them intro actual works might be painful and full of doubts-- sometimes I ask if I want to be someone who makes great games, without actually wanting to make them. My ideas are very odd and surely miles out of anything mainstream, so getting anyone to care about your work and what it has to say is very hard. I'm 23 and I feel like I'm already old as hell and my "prime" has passed. I'm still not done with college and probably won't be able to conclude it (bureaucratic stuff, even though I passed in all the disciplines), unemployed and still living with my parents 🙃 Again, thanks for the film! It's good to know our generations is going through similar problems and that we can find answers together!
Wow this video just rolled over me like a train. I wasnt expecting that. The meme you did with "im in flop era is exactly what Im going through word for word. I wanted to be a filmaker, covid delaed finishing my university degree, i dont wanna work in a 9 to 5 job, and I struggle so much with procastrination and feeling im not good enough that I fear i will never make movies or wander if my stories are even gonna be consider good in the first place. The only thing that gives me hope, and maybe this might help you too a little as a posibility, is that i decided instead of trying to make movies, wich is so expensive just to live nearby a production, Im giving a shot to writting my stories as books and novels, maybe I can get into movies through books somehow, like jk rowling or George Martin. Your video really inspired me to feel im not alone and that the route, although far away from the one I originally wanted, might not be such a crazy idea and I may find happiness were I doubt it lures.
Thank you for sharing. Finishing my film degree was also delayed because of the pandemic and mostly my own procrastination (I talk more about that in some of my other videos). So I really relate to those feelings of fear and inadequacy. I'm wishing you the best with your writing and filmmaking. Keep creating always! Thanks so much for watching!
this is my favorite youtube video, it speaks so closely to my own struggles as a creative that it's scary. you put things in a perspective that me and i'm sure many others are searching for, and it's beautiful, thank you for still going, i can't wait to see you get there!
I’m a 25 year old musician going through the same thing and this moved me to tears. I’m from Talkeetna, which you probably know well due to your time in Alaska, and hearing someone my age, who knows this life, describe this feeling so poignantly was terrible and wonderful. I hope that you found that end of the tunnel and it wasn’t some manic moment that can be so frequent in these things. In art vulnerability is everything. Just keep being real Elanor, you do have something to say.
Thank you so much for watching! Yes I went to Talkeetna several times. I lived in Healy so Talkeetna was one of the closest places. I loved eating spinach bread, seeing Denali from the river banks, buying local art, eating birch syrup... I hope to go back to Talkeetna and explore more of Alaska in the future. It is the most beautiful state in the whole US I think. It's especially cool to be from there!
this is one of the coolest videos i've ever watched for the last 2 years. I clicked without any expectations and realized it was an amazing piece of art while you are talking about "how you are bad at something" i laughed and cried because i wished for the thing i was watching never coming to an end
wow. just wow. i would've never thought that some random video on the main page of youtube will give me such a strong feeling of understanding. you know, i think after covid lockdown in 2020 my life has never been the same since and almost every night, especially now, as i'm 18 already and in my first year of university, i have a strong feeling of almost figuring it out, but instead i'm waking up every day and it feels like i live the same day for like a couple years now. you did a really great job on this one and i subscribed immediately. all of the effort you've put in this documentary was totally worth it, trust me. i had same exact thoughts since i was 15 and my strong- almost like a lifelong passion is music, but i've never had an opportunity to study it properly in school and it made me feel like i'm left behind because everyone can do something but me. and now is the year that i'm learning and trying music by my own hardwork and i'm trying to stick on every opportunity just to gather some more information and knowledge about the passion that i have. and one thing that i figured out is you need to do it, even if you don't feel like so today. maybe that's my teenage maximalist thoughts but damn that's the passion that gives me purpose on life and drives me crazy and i'm pretty sure that's how you see your passion of film-making also. we need to be strong and ambitious and one day all of the work that we've done will totally be paid fairly. i want to really give you a big appreciation for making this one. i'm really feeling understood and related. btw i'm sorry for my english grammar, i'm not native.
Thank you so much for watching! You are not behind and have plenty of time to become a musician. Enjoy the learning process and keep creating. I'm rooting for you! Your English is great too!
Girl, this is a beast of a short film and I love everything about it. I did 6 years of college and got an MFA in creative writing and film studies and have done crap all with it. Now I'm disabled and stuck at home unable to make the kinds of film-style videos I want to because production is so difficult for me. But this, with a sold narrative and experimental style has inspired me to go all in on my next video. To treat each video like a short film, the way I have always wanted to do I'm glad YT has been pushing this and it looks like it has already supercharged your sub count. I look forward to seeing what you do next and where you go from here
I’ve had a similar experience to yours, but lived through a different perspective. I'm almost to be 25 and when I was about 8 I faced a world (molded by my specific socio-cultural and economical context) from which I extracted the understanding that I’d never be enough in any of the things I could imagine to be interested in. That simple association (deduced specially from teacher-pupil interaction/reaction) made me deny myself the act of imagining; so since I was about 8 I literally assumed myself to be inadequate to even construct my own imaginary world. This ended up developing into an adult who even though has lots of interests and can’t stop but feeling, lacks the physical force to materialize any of it into intent, movement, evolution. I actually have no idea why I’m randomly oversharing all of this but it might be the result of seeing snippets of myself reflected in your video. My immediate future cannot even be projected in the scope of a year, I genuinely don't know what I'll do next year if things go wrong again, but I did learn something in my last two within the only self-space I’ve ever constructed from and to myself (diaries): manifesting our existence, making ourselves exist by concretising our emotions is a precious tool to understand (and perceive) ourselves as alive. I just want to share with you that a random stranger who probably lives thousands of kilometers from where you do feels that the video you made is beautiful, which in itself is the centered heart of what art means. In this sense, both my feelings and the fact I'm writing this can only mean that the piece of art you shared is expressing (existing) out of you, which leads to the simple fact that you’ve everything that you always felt you lacked (as everyone does). If you feel that you cannot develop those things that you are so curious about, you will tend to blame yourself because we’ve been culturally socialized to imagine that success is a matter of individual mastery and effort. But this isn’t true, because every form of art is expressible insofar as it is a question of class (class struggle under capitalism). There’s something I thought not a long a time ago, and although it's a simple thought, it may sometimes help not to be swept away by the ‘wind of solitude, pain and sorrow’: nobody is born wanting to die, so in the same way that almost all human feelings are socio-culturally constructed, they can be deconstructed and reconstructed (transformed and retransformed). You may find yourself labelling this period of your life as a flop, but everything that led you into it is mostly out of your reach, the world kinda abandoned us and the fact that we're still here, throwing out voices from our broken everyday nature just means that where are not flopping but feeling: ripping off our chest and offering the raw heart from the palm of our hands with the single hope that someone helps us figure out how to softly put it back (this someone will come because existence ‘is’ when shared, accompanied and heard reciprocally, among so many other things). PD: I apologise for the typos and if I sounded robotic, English is not my first language.
Thank you so much for this comment. I really agree with your ideas. I think regardless of background, it is very common for people to experience things in childhood that make them ashamed of themselves and afraid to wish for and work for what they truly desire. It has certainly been a battle for me to even accept that I want to be a filmmaker and to have the courage to work towards that goal, because of the environment I grew up in and being a woman, even though I've also had many things that have given me an advantage over others who are not has fortunate which I try to be grateful for. I agree with your ideas about the power of our own imagination and trying to let ourselves have the freedom to imagine a better future for ourselves and how that is the first step to realizing our desires. I believe in you to achieve everything you are wishing for and more! And no need to apologize for your English. I think you're very articulate and have a compelling writing style that is quite emotional and not robotic at all!
@@elanornadorff Aw, thank you so much for your words! I believe in you too and I know that no matter how tough things may get your future self is just there, waiting for you, eager to hug and thank you for not giving up the things you have always loved. Wish you all the best
![Felix "Unfair" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Oswujxm2Ag0/mqdefault.jpg)
i like how recently youtube started to recommend also those 500 sub channels with unique videos
I'm so glad you found me! Thank you so much for watching!
same thing happening to me, im loving it
RUclips recommended!
FR!
Yeahhhhhh
“It’s a temporary feeling that I keep repeating in moments when I’m avoiding my feelings that are painful” it’s so true!! I’ve been noticing the same thing
Thank you for watching!
This spoke to me
What a cruel society we live in, where we self impose a need of completing our life by 24yo, or by 30 or whatever age we are. We don't need to have everything sorted out, sometimes we fail, sometimes we succed, sometimes we are just there and there is nothing wrong with it. You are not alone, it's a change of mindset we need as a society, but it also starts with everyone of us. Be gentle with yourself, no matter your age, we are all learning to live, whether you have 18, 24, 30 or 80 years old. This is our first time here, for all of us.
I totally agree with this. It is a cruel mindset that we need to break free from, even if it's hard. Thank you for your comment!
As someone who’s also in their flop era, I thought this was really beautiful. Goodluck.
I'm wishing you the best in your flop era. I hope you can find some fun in it. Thank you for watching!
Please, never give up filmaking. Your storytelling is phenomenal. This 10-minute video made me tear up. Thanks for putting into words what many people (myself included) struggle to describe. This is possibly my favourite video on the internet right now. You earned a new suscriber! ❤
Thank you so much for watching and subscribing! I plan to never stop making videos:)
Too high of a production for this amount of views😭😭 deserves more
Thank you so much for watching!
This was wonderfully crafted. You aren't alone. I just turned 35 and feel like I've only just got out of my flop era when I hit 30. 20's are such a stressful time, everyone I knew was confused about their life at that age. I lived in my parent's basement during my whole 20's teaching myself animation as a hermit, we all have to follow our own paths. We're all in this life experiment together, keep going and sharing things!
im in my 20's teaching myself animation and hermitting ! 🥺🥲 i find both this video and your comment and channel very inspiring! :')
@@goldiepink Awesome! Don't give up. Animation is very difficult but so worth it in the end to see those images in your head come to life for others to see. You got this, one step at a time :)
@@MicahBuzanANIMATION Thank you!!! ^_^
Thank you for sharing this perspective. I'm happy for you that you're out of your flop era! It's worth it to pursue a creative path even when it's hard. Thank you for watching!
I don't like calling things a "masterpiece", but I can't find another word to describe what I just watched. Fantastic work, thank you for sharing this with us!
Wow, thank you so much for your comment!
it's a mistresspiece
this is the most relatable piece of media put on the internet so far and youtube algorithm is getting good
I'm touched you can relate. Thank you so much for watching!
It’s so relatable and raw-honest, thank you so much for making this, it helps me think about myself
"...when I'm enjoying my life and not avoiding my pain..." That hit.
This was very beautiful, and I loved how the video is a screen recording, it makes it feel a lot more personal. As someone who's also artistically inclined, I feel like people often don't understand how big this NEED to create is. I truly love creating, more than anything else, but that love has also been the source of so much fear, frustration and anxiety. And It's good to know other people experience the same things I do.
I've been watching some of your videos, and I really think you should be proud of what you've made. You got many emotions out of me, and I'm happy I watched them. I hope that whenever imposter syndrome hits, you'll remember how many people, like me, have felt things because of your art.
Thank you so much for watching! It's a good reminder to let the need to create help us overcome the fear. I hope you keep making art!
I don't know what to say, really - Somehow RUclips suggested your video to me .. I was captivated from the first second and to the end .. You know what? - I felt something, I felt hope .. This was the best 10 minutes I've spent in a long time watching. I had just released my EP "Driftworn" and needed to take a deep breath, and this happen. Absolutely amazing!
gosh, so happy this exists!! not only because of the subject (which I absolutely relate to) but also the format! i love desktop documentaries. such a specific and underrated format. thanks!
Desktop documentaries are so underrated! Thank you so much for watching!
I just wanted to say reaching 3.5k videos on one of your first few videos is an amazing achievement even if it feels like a flop. I’ve just started on RUclips and I am trying to remind myself of that too, which I know is hard
Yup. Imagine having a 4000 person audience in person. That's a lot of people.
@ yessss that’s exactly what I picture as well!! I feel like I will be forever grateful for everyone - regardless of the number🥹
You are totally right! I appreciate your perspective. Keep making videos, I'm wishing you the best on your channel!
I really, really loved it! Your documentary is incredibly personal, yet so relatable. Your conclusion was strong and left me with hope. This video is touching and helpful, no wonder everyone is liking it!!
Thank you so much for watching! I really appreciate your kind words.
cried my eyes out, please never stop making films i believe you have a special talent for Storytelling. Thank you deeply for this Video
Thank you so much!!!
I love the positive self reflection at the end, putting everything into a new hopeful perspective. Keep accepting the painful feelings, work with them. Things can change pretty quickly into a wonderful life. I'm only two years older than you, but experienced this too. The bad / flop and now the good / top.
Thank you for this observation. I'm happy for you that you made it out of your flop era! Thanks so much for watching!
@elanornadorff You're very welcome. If I may add this, to my previous comment: The world will change, if you change yourself. From the inside. It's really interesting to experience how people treat and react to you, if you just change the way, how you think about yourself.
Anyway: What I found cool about your video is, that it is kind of breaking the fourth wall, but also shows the first person view. And then there are sections of the 'classical' telling perspective. I really liked these changes, that was very creative and nice to experience!
I thank you very much for making this video; it basically summarized my feelings at the moment. In the end, I'm slowly accepting that I can't do anything else but make art. Photography and video editing have been my passion for quite a long time now, and I plan on keeping it up. However, all those doubts that you pointed out are keeping me from trusting myself. Thank you again for creating :)
Thank you so much for watching! Keep making videos and taking pictures!!
I felt every word. I’m currently in a very similar situation, and it felt so personal, almost like facing my own thoughts. It was painful but necessary. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of yourself. I think that’s the best way to create art-by making it real.
By the way, I found the format brilliant.
You’ve inspired me to get out of my flop era.
Thank you.
Thank you for watching! I'm wishing you the best in your flop era
"a desktop documentary"
It was new and creative and congrats that it worked pretty well :)
I felt that I'm behind on that computer and googling and typing
Thank you for watching!
Look at all those comments! I think you hit a spot there. I’m in my flop era now, but from the other side where I fluked with initial traction. I wonder what’s worse, never having hit traction or having hit traction, hitting a plateau, realizing your not as smart as you thought, that it was luck and not knowing how to replicate it. I’d definitely take advantage of your algorithm wave now, as with my example it doesn’t mean for sure you finally found a breakthrough.
I definitely think about this a lot. I sort of think all traction is fickle, your standards for what's "good" just change as you grow. I try to focus on making art I'm really proud of and challenging myself to learn something new with each video. Then the performance doesn't matter as much to me. Easier said than done though. I'm wishing you the best!
I’m going through it as well… this video makes me feel like I’m not alone on this.
You're not alone, thank you for watching!
this is exactly how i feel right now. i’m currently in my “transitional period”, everything feels up in the air. i’m making new decisions and i’m starting to figure out my own place in the world. i’m only 19 years old yet i feel like i have already lived all of my life. this year has been a lot, more than i can fully comprehend, but i got through it. i’m alive, i am well, i am a filmmaker, and i am glad to be alive
Keep making films!! Thank you so much for watching!
This video came to me after a conversation with my mother about moving home from the city I love. She told me this wouldn’t be forever but the belief I’m not enough overrode her kindness in the moment. It’s been almost six months I’ve been out of work now. After I graduated last year, I was working as an artist’s assistant. A job in my field right after art school and I felt as though I had done everything right. Projects ended and the work ran out, my connections aren’t connecting me anywhere. People have told me recently it seems I have no real direction and honestly, I find myself agreeing with them. I can feel myself resigning to terrible beliefs I hold about myself, that I’ll never live the creative life I want. Thank you for sharing your experience. You’ve reminded me my life is still mine and worth living even though it’s not the one I desire most.
I hope you continue on your creative path. I believe in you! Thank you for watching
please dont delete this. maybe im not a lot of views but this format, topic, timing, editing, everything got me and tbh just made me feel that im not alone. i just paused the video to write 4 pages in my journal because of the thoughts that this video got me thinking.
I'm glad you found it inspiring. Thank you so much for watching!
Brother, I've never watched something like this. This is so original you should be proud!
Thank you Brother!
It’s crazy how one video was able to perfectly capture all of these nebulous feelings I had for quite a while now. Thank you.
I think I might just try documenting them, like you did, just to create *something*. I wish you the best of luck with your channel and career, keep going!
Thank you so much for your support!! You should definitely document your feelings and experiences. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Wishing you the best:)
This is by far the MOST CREATIVE VIDEO IVE SEEN ON RUclips!!! Omg. You deserve so much more views.
Thank you so much for watching!!!
kudos on doing the heavy lifting to come to that conclusion, rlly beautifully put. im also 24 n had a lot of overlap to yr situation of being a covid grad, moving back in w parents, "locking in" and getting nowhere, long stretch of being single, fear of failure, being rejected from creative/academic spaces, return to service industry etc etc.
i had not gotten to the feeling my way through the fear step yet though n this felt like a very necessary thing to hear. it's cool tht something so personal can apply to n help others but regardless congrats on making this just for yourself. cool that the algo is showing it off but even if it wasnt, just that in itself worth being proud of. keep going
Thank you so much for writing this nice comment. I'm wishing you the best in overcoming your fears and working towards your goals. I believe in you! Thank you for your support:)
I just lost my job last month and was forced to live out of my car for a week. I moved back in with my mom at the end of that week and yesterday my car broke down. (At least it didn’t happen when I was coming back from the other side of the US) This video was very timely. Thanks for coming across my home page. I decided to film the experience and lowkey it flopped. But its my life and Im proud of it. You reminded me of that. Thank you.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad your mom is there for you. I hope things turn around for you in the future. You should be proud of what you've been through and what you create from it!
Thank you, for validating my feelings of shame, by showing I'm not alone with it. You're amazing, inspiring, and loved. Keep up the good work.
Our own shame is our own worst enemy. It's up to us as artists to turn it into something beautiful to share with others. Thank you for watching, I'm wishing you the best!
"... and now I'm going to enjoy my life anyways because I have a great one" is something I will tell myself more, sometimes I get so wrapped up in how I feel and why I feel that way that I don't let myself really live. Super cool vid :)
Thanks so much for watching!!!
This was phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing!! I'm right there with you. Subbed
this hit so hard. i just realised im in my flop era after seeing this video. and every word in this documentary is so true, every description of every emotion. I love it so much because of how honest and raw it is !
i hope this video gets more views cause it deserves it.
I hope you can find some peace and happiness in your flop era. Thank you for your support!
As an aspiring artist, this line was especially relatable
"I believe it would be as easy as sitting down by my computer using all my exciting new ideas to fuel the hard and tedious work of making a film and do that all day every day. I thought I would be unstoppable. Instead it's a lot like it's always been". Reminds me a lot of how I thought I'll be working rigorously on my art/manga ideas when I'll reach an academic break, but instead it's "a lot like it's always been"
Honestly very inspiring video, the soothing ambient music in the background made it feel like a whole different world.
thank you for your effort and for this video! Wish you success
Thank you so much for watching! I think artistic work is much different from academic or manual work... it's a unique skillset you have to develop, and it's normal to have low stamina at first. Keep working on your art!!
This was actually really good.. i LOVE how this is edited tbh the lil click noises and everything
Thank you so much!
I’m so glad youtube recommended this. I’ve never seen anything like it and most importantly, I’ve never seen someone depict the ‘my life is falling apart let me frantically google how to fix it’ panic so accurately. Great film, im happy you kept going!
We need more frantic googling representation in media for sure. Thank you so much for watching!
i’ve not had the same experience as you, but I’m definitely in a kind of rut and you’re absolutely right about allowing yourself to feel and live. i’ve had to remind myself of that so much. good luck, i really liked your video.
Thank you so much for watching!!
First time watching a desktop documentary in this style. I need more of these. Goodluck
this is so creative, i hope you keep creating :)
“My life right now isn’t a placeholder until I get exactly what I want” .
You're amazing. We're like the same. I'm a painter though.. But this is so, I can't explain. It feels real and its a relief I want to believe somebody on the internet again, finally. I'm so proud of you. Thanks for your work. I think I'm going to sleep better :)
Thank you so much for watching! Keep painting!!
As an artist I feel the exact same way, it feels like you’ll never get out no matter how hard I try. I think I found your video really when I needed it most, it grabbed my attention like no other video on this app in months, and I think that’s a sign that you shouldn’t give up on your dreams. Thank you for sharing your experiences
Thank you so much for watching! I hope you continue with your art. It's worth it!
I don't think I've ever commented, but I felt too much to not say it for this one. The video felt real and gorgeously executed:) thank you
I appreciate you taking the time to watch and comment! I am so glad it resonated with you!
2:22 try feeling all of this when you’re nearly 44 💀
wow such an amazing video, so eye opening tysm for making this !!!
as a 26 year old living back home with my parents, trying to follow my passion of becoming a writer, this video resonated so much. keep up the great work!
I can relate to this in a strong way. Thank you for putting into words what I have felt these last years
Thanks so much for watching!!
This approach is to relatable, like people use computers like I do. The same interfaces I see everyday, someone else looking at the same interfaces and using the same environment is going through a whole different story and yet I am able to relate to it so much.
The different tabs and the sequence one open different windows tell us so much about the person.
Wow, this is so amazing. I’m glad I found this.
Elanor, You are amazing! ❤
Thank you so much for watching!
This was everything. Wow. The editing, the visuals, the cinematography, the writing, the message… you are most definitely not in your flop era lol💌
Thank you so much!
You are not in your flop era, you’re in your cocoon era, i have been through this too and you just have to keep going💕
It is definitely my cocoon era. I like that! Thank you for watching!
I can see the two years of hard work in this video alone, can’t wait to see what comes next! Good job :-)
Thank you for your comment! This is a good reminder of how far I've come. It's easy to forget. I'm looking forward for the videos I have planned. Thank you so much for watching!
Such a unique video, glad my friend recommended your channel. Keep on doing what you doing.
I like what you got, good job.
you have literally changed my life, thank u
Thank you so much for watching!
One of the most unique videos I've seen, incredible editing and storytelling. Keep going, you're talent is rare and you'll blow up soon.
Thank you so much for your support!!
"...doubt my childhood dream of becoming a filmmaker." invents a new type of documentary.
I love this format. I love how it's like a mise en abyme in my own browser, in my own thoughts of the moment (we have much in common, although living thousands of miles away, and The Algorithm gets a little funny these days). I love how genuine it looks and how sincere it feels like, while being the product of such an intense work.
Talking about a "flop era" might be a way of hoping for it to end all at once. I've been feeling this for years, hoping for a revolution that never happened. The big love, the big idea, the big change that never occurred. But you're right. Sometimes big things happen; they happened to me when I was a child; I thought it would happen again, pulling me out of this "wasted" period of time; I've been waiting too long. Sometimes, changes take a long time, and work builds up slowly. I can surely say yours did, because you did this.
"Never enough". Of course. But I did also find out that, in fact, we were so bad at telling when anything was "good enough". That the timing was as important as playing the right tune, as in music, so that delivering what you could do *in time* was the only measure of anything being "enough", on your own melody. I guess this video was "not enough". And yet, you did publish it, six days ago, and it touched me, so that was enough to me. I'm happy you did, I'm happy I was here to see it.
I feel a bit ridiculous writing all this here, maybe not to be read by the author of the video, yet as I wrote, it touched me. I rarely do so, I'm rarely touched this way. I hope you'll find love & happiness, of course, but also that you'll be able to contemplate what you already did; so do I for anyone who felt touched by this video, as I was. Anywhere there is that kind of emotion, there is hope, I think.
Well, sorry :')
this is outstanding, I really hope the right path finds you very soon, your works deserve it and so do you.
Thank you so much for the well wishes!
This is by far the most well made video I’ve every seen anybody post on RUclips. You are amazing. I’m glad I found you.
Thank you so much for your kind words!
One of the best videos in RUclips
Wow thank you so much!!
one of the coolest most interestingly edited videos I've seen in awhile
Thank you so much for watching!
Love this! Wanna see more from ya
I have much more to come!! Thank you so much for watching!
This is art.
Thank you so much for watching!
Agreed
That was REALLY good, subscribing
Thanks so much for the support!
This really spoke to the deepest part of me. Our experiences are frighteningly similar. Thank you for making this. We’re gonna be alright.
We are gonna be alright! Thank you for watching!
love this! i’m a sucker for experimental forms of filmmaking, and this “desktop doc” style is super cool! i think it’s a great way of exploring/critiquing how media affects us. instead of explicitly stating commentary, it can be shown rather than told - ie the chain reaction of clicking, being led to more articles, the thought process that begins to form. looking forward to more of your future work :) 💕💕
Thank you so much for your comment! Using the medium of the desktop documentary to convey the story was my main intention. Thanks for picking up on that! I have some more experimental videos coming up that I'm excited for you to see!
This video hit me at the perfect time. I'm 21, so just a bit younger, but I actually thought I was washed up for not having any noteworthy accomplishments yet while a lot of my friends are getting sweet freelance gigs, or interning at great companies. I hope you make it big on RUclips. If this video is any indication of your artistry then I want to see more.
You're not washed up in the slightest! You have so many great things ahead. Thank you for your support!
thank you for creating this beautiful piece of art
Thank you so much for watching!
It's interesting to hear people in their 20s talking about failing in life or not achieving what they'd hoped. So much time left in life. Many people only became successful in their 40s and 50s. Just keep working, keep trying new things, never stop learning and something will happen. Your 20s should be a period of exploration, failure, exploration and failure.
I totally agree! That's the true "art" of the flop era is embracing the freedom for exploration. Thanks for watching!
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much for this gem. Listen to yourself at the end of this video when you feel down again. It will happen, but it's never forever, and deep down, you clearly know this.
Thank you so much for watching! You're so right, I need my own advice often. I will remember that:)
that was awesome, and i can empathise very well. telling myself not to focus on the outcome and just do the thing - it works sometimes, but is very hard other times. keep on keeping on Elanor.
Thank you!!
this is probably the most beautiful and relatable video I’ve watched. Thank you for making this!
Thank you so much for watching!
Thank you for creating such a beautiful and touching piece of art. This short film resonated deeply with me, reflecting emotions and experiences from my own life. It moved me to tears and reminded me of the power of storytelling. Your work is truly remarkable-thank you for sharing it with the world.
Thank you so much for watching!
This is exactly what i needed to see. I believe film is meant to show us sides of ourselves we wouldn’t of seen otherwise because theyre outside of our own view (if that makes sense) and this has done just that for me. Im just turning 21 but i really do feel this road block in my life since the pandemic that has only gotten worse in the past year & im leaving college. Ive been almost torturing myself trying to pursue everything BUT art just because it didnt work out in my favor during college apps 4 years ago. But what good is it being so afraid of failure. We’re not just living til the moment we “get better”, we are living right now!!! Good luck to you and thank you :)
I hope you pursue your art! The only person you need permission from to be an artist is yourself. I'm wishing you the best! Thank you for watching!
This was a really good film! The execution was so creative! From the opening, I was intrigued, those 10 mins went by without me knowing! And that is a sign of a really good film!
Beautiful inspiring amazing wonderful i relate to everything and i love this video SO MUCH. i am wishing u all the bestest for your filmmaking career and am very inspired by your story
Thank you so much for your support!
Your introspection and talent is remarkable. I have a feeling your story will inspire many to make their own art (including me). Thanks for sharing
Genuinely love every subtle detail about this except the conclusion. Maybe I am not there yet, maybe it's too good to be true, maybe it's not for me. But as for the rest, it's a very well put together depiction of a very real pov we spend a lot of intimate time with.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Loved the film. Great work!
Also, thank you, since I'm in a quite similar situation. I have a dream of making indie art-games, but finding your path creatively can be very stressful, isolating (both in the social as well as in the creative sense) and depressing. The actual process of coming up with ideas and slowly turning them intro actual works might be painful and full of doubts-- sometimes I ask if I want to be someone who makes great games, without actually wanting to make them. My ideas are very odd and surely miles out of anything mainstream, so getting anyone to care about your work and what it has to say is very hard. I'm 23 and I feel like I'm already old as hell and my "prime" has passed. I'm still not done with college and probably won't be able to conclude it (bureaucratic stuff, even though I passed in all the disciplines), unemployed and still living with my parents 🙃
Again, thanks for the film! It's good to know our generations is going through similar problems and that we can find answers together!
Wow this video just rolled over me like a train. I wasnt expecting that. The meme you did with "im in flop era is exactly what Im going through word for word.
I wanted to be a filmaker, covid delaed finishing my university degree, i dont wanna work in a 9 to 5 job, and I struggle so much with procastrination and feeling im not good enough that I fear i will never make movies or wander if my stories are even gonna be consider good in the first place.
The only thing that gives me hope, and maybe this might help you too a little as a posibility, is that i decided instead of trying to make movies, wich is so expensive just to live nearby a production, Im giving a shot to writting my stories as books and novels, maybe I can get into movies through books somehow, like jk rowling or George Martin.
Your video really inspired me to feel im not alone and that the route, although far away from the one I originally wanted, might not be such a crazy idea and I may find happiness were I doubt it lures.
Thank you for sharing. Finishing my film degree was also delayed because of the pandemic and mostly my own procrastination (I talk more about that in some of my other videos). So I really relate to those feelings of fear and inadequacy. I'm wishing you the best with your writing and filmmaking. Keep creating always! Thanks so much for watching!
This short film was amazing! Very original and creative ✨️
Thank you so much for watching!
this is my favorite youtube video, it speaks so closely to my own struggles as a creative that it's scary. you put things in a perspective that me and i'm sure many others are searching for, and it's beautiful, thank you for still going, i can't wait to see you get there!
I’m a 25 year old musician going through the same thing and this moved me to tears.
I’m from Talkeetna, which you probably know well due to your time in Alaska, and hearing someone my age, who knows this life, describe this feeling so poignantly was terrible and wonderful. I hope that you found that end of the tunnel and it wasn’t some manic moment that can be so frequent in these things.
In art vulnerability is everything. Just keep being real Elanor, you do have something to say.
Thank you so much for watching! Yes I went to Talkeetna several times. I lived in Healy so Talkeetna was one of the closest places. I loved eating spinach bread, seeing Denali from the river banks, buying local art, eating birch syrup... I hope to go back to Talkeetna and explore more of Alaska in the future. It is the most beautiful state in the whole US I think. It's especially cool to be from there!
rad stuff. keep on keeping on.
Hey so this was incredibly real and i relate to it a lot bc im unemployed af rn after graduating college (: ty for making this
Thanks so much for the support! I'm wishing you the best on your job search!
This resonated deeply with me and the state of mind that I'm currently in at 25. Thank you very much for encapsulating this feeling with such honesty!
Thank you for sharing. I hope 26 is even better for you!
Wow such a great video! It really made me feel some emotions and considering my own life
The screen recording format felt really unique and personal, your artistic voice is really strong
Wow thank you!!
beautiful work, so vulnerable. made me cry lol
this is one of the coolest videos i've ever watched for the last 2 years. I clicked without any expectations and realized it was an amazing piece of art while you are talking about "how you are bad at something" i laughed and cried because i wished for the thing i was watching never coming to an end
Thank you so much for watching! I have more to come:)
Omg that was a beautiful video. I can relate to a lot of things you talked about and I loved the filmmaking. I'm glad I found your channel!
From one filmmaker to another, you got this. Just keep on going and keep on enjoying things no matter where you are in life. Lovely video.
Thanks for the encouragement. Same to you!
;_; thats beautiful. i wish you luck, i hope you'll be able to achieve every single one of your dreams eventually.
Thanks so much for the support!
this is an incredible piece that i connected with very deeply. fantastic work
Thank you algorithm for bringing me this. This is so real
Thank you!
wow. just wow. i would've never thought that some random video on the main page of youtube will give me such a strong feeling of understanding. you know, i think after covid lockdown in 2020 my life has never been the same since and almost every night, especially now, as i'm 18 already and in my first year of university, i have a strong feeling of almost figuring it out, but instead i'm waking up every day and it feels like i live the same day for like a couple years now. you did a really great job on this one and i subscribed immediately. all of the effort you've put in this documentary was totally worth it, trust me. i had same exact thoughts since i was 15 and my strong- almost like a lifelong passion is music, but i've never had an opportunity to study it properly in school and it made me feel like i'm left behind because everyone can do something but me. and now is the year that i'm learning and trying music by my own hardwork and i'm trying to stick on every opportunity just to gather some more information and knowledge about the passion that i have. and one thing that i figured out is you need to do it, even if you don't feel like so today. maybe that's my teenage maximalist thoughts but damn that's the passion that gives me purpose on life and drives me crazy and i'm pretty sure that's how you see your passion of film-making also. we need to be strong and ambitious and one day all of the work that we've done will totally be paid fairly. i want to really give you a big appreciation for making this one. i'm really feeling understood and related. btw i'm sorry for my english grammar, i'm not native.
Thank you so much for watching! You are not behind and have plenty of time to become a musician. Enjoy the learning process and keep creating. I'm rooting for you! Your English is great too!
Girl, this is a beast of a short film and I love everything about it. I did 6 years of college and got an MFA in creative writing and film studies and have done crap all with it. Now I'm disabled and stuck at home unable to make the kinds of film-style videos I want to because production is so difficult for me. But this, with a sold narrative and experimental style has inspired me to go all in on my next video. To treat each video like a short film, the way I have always wanted to do
I'm glad YT has been pushing this and it looks like it has already supercharged your sub count. I look forward to seeing what you do next and where you go from here
I’ve had a similar experience to yours, but lived through a different perspective. I'm almost to be 25 and when I was about 8 I faced a world (molded by my specific socio-cultural and economical context) from which I extracted the understanding that I’d never be enough in any of the things I could imagine to be interested in. That simple association (deduced specially from teacher-pupil interaction/reaction) made me deny myself the act of imagining; so since I was about 8 I literally assumed myself to be inadequate to even construct my own imaginary world. This ended up developing into an adult who even though has lots of interests and can’t stop but feeling, lacks the physical force to materialize any of it into intent, movement, evolution.
I actually have no idea why I’m randomly oversharing all of this but it might be the result of seeing snippets of myself reflected in your video. My immediate future cannot even be projected in the scope of a year, I genuinely don't know what I'll do next year if things go wrong again, but I did learn something in my last two within the only self-space I’ve ever constructed from and to myself (diaries): manifesting our existence, making ourselves exist by concretising our emotions is a precious tool to understand (and perceive) ourselves as alive.
I just want to share with you that a random stranger who probably lives thousands of kilometers from where you do feels that the video you made is beautiful, which in itself is the centered heart of what art means. In this sense, both my feelings and the fact I'm writing this can only mean that the piece of art you shared is expressing (existing) out of you, which leads to the simple fact that you’ve everything that you always felt you lacked (as everyone does). If you feel that you cannot develop those things that you are so curious about, you will tend to blame yourself because we’ve been culturally socialized to imagine that success is a matter of individual mastery and effort. But this isn’t true, because every form of art is expressible insofar as it is a question of class (class struggle under capitalism).
There’s something I thought not a long a time ago, and although it's a simple thought, it may sometimes help not to be swept away by the ‘wind of solitude, pain and sorrow’: nobody is born wanting to die, so in the same way that almost all human feelings are socio-culturally constructed, they can be deconstructed and reconstructed (transformed and retransformed). You may find yourself labelling this period of your life as a flop, but everything that led you into it is mostly out of your reach, the world kinda abandoned us and the fact that we're still here, throwing out voices from our broken everyday nature just means that where are not flopping but feeling: ripping off our chest and offering the raw heart from the palm of our hands with the single hope that someone helps us figure out how to softly put it back (this someone will come because existence ‘is’ when shared, accompanied and heard reciprocally, among so many other things).
PD: I apologise for the typos and if I sounded robotic, English is not my first language.
Thank you so much for this comment. I really agree with your ideas. I think regardless of background, it is very common for people to experience things in childhood that make them ashamed of themselves and afraid to wish for and work for what they truly desire. It has certainly been a battle for me to even accept that I want to be a filmmaker and to have the courage to work towards that goal, because of the environment I grew up in and being a woman, even though I've also had many things that have given me an advantage over others who are not has fortunate which I try to be grateful for. I agree with your ideas about the power of our own imagination and trying to let ourselves have the freedom to imagine a better future for ourselves and how that is the first step to realizing our desires. I believe in you to achieve everything you are wishing for and more!
And no need to apologize for your English. I think you're very articulate and have a compelling writing style that is quite emotional and not robotic at all!
@@elanornadorff Aw, thank you so much for your words! I believe in you too and I know that no matter how tough things may get your future self is just there, waiting for you, eager to hug and thank you for not giving up the things you have always loved. Wish you all the best
I'm not avoiding my feelings, I just don't know what to do with them.