How To Forgive And Let Go (5 Steps) - Devon Brown

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THE 5 STEPS TO FORGIVING ANYONE OR ANYTHING
Step 1: Tell The Story (As The Victim)
Colin Tipping's Words (Paraphrased)
“Having your 'victim story' heard, witnessed and validated, is the first step to letting it go. Likewise, the first step in releasing victimhood is to own it fully. In this step, someone willingly and compassionately listens to you tell your story, and it is honored as your truth in the moment.”
For this step, your job is to be in FULL VICTIM MODE. Tell the story of what happened as if everything is 100% unequivocally your spouse’s fault. They’re the one who cheated; they’re the one who made it so that your kids will have to grow up without both parents in the home; they’re the one to blame for everything bad that’s happening.
The important part here is to own being the victim. The reason your victim story is important is because sometimes, in order to move forward, we need to first feel “validated” in our “victimhood”. Or, at the absolute least, we need to feel heard!
Step 2: Feel The Feelings Associated With The Story
Colin Tipping's Words (Paraphrased)
“Your feelings represent your authentic power. Your strength lies in your vulnerability and your willingness to show up as fully human. You cannot heal what you don’t feel. When people access their pain, this is the beginning of their healing.”
Because in this step, you’re forced to reach deep down inside and access the pain that is in your heart.
Tough stuff, but CRITICALLY important for a proper catharsis (cleansing).
You have to genuinely feel all of the feelings associated with being a victim. This is a physical thing (not a mental thing). You can’t just think about the situation, you’ve got to FEEL THE FEELINGS associated with it.
Step 3: Collapse The Original "Victim" Story
Colin Tipping's Words (Paraphrased)
“This is where we make a conscious choice to withdraw the energy we have given to the victim story, and begin to realize that this story is mostly our interpretation of events based on our limited perception of reality. And that since there is probably more to it than meets the eye, it is largely an illusion.”
Collapsing down the story helps us realize that our interpretation of events may not be the actual truth as to what’s going on.
Acknowledge that the reason you’re so angry towards them is because of the story you’re telling yourself about the situation. In other words, recognize that the reason you’re so angry is because of the “victim story” you keep telling yourself.
Once you’ve acknowledged that the situation could possibly mean something else (other than what you’ve been telling yourself it means), then you’ve created space for alternative meanings.
Step 4: Reframe The Story
Colin Tipping's Words (Paraphrased)
“Here we specifically replace the ‘victim’ story with another story: the Radical Forgiveness ‘story.’ This new story expresses our willingness to see that what appeared to have happened, far from being a tragedy, was in fact exactly what we wanted to experience for our soul to be able to grow. Therefore, what happened was absolutely perfect.”
We acknowledge our own role in the situation. Not that we consciously did anything “wrong” or that we’re at “fault” in the traditional senses of those words… but rather, that we “attracted” this situation so that our soul could learn the life lessons it needed to learn in order to put us on a better path.
Step 5: Integrate The New Story
Colin Tipping's Words (Paraphrased)
“It is necessary to integrate change at the cellular level. That means integrating your new story about the situation into the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual bodies so it becomes a part of who you are.”
You let go of the old victim story of: “My cheating spouse did X, Y, and Z and it’s all their fault and yadda yadda yadda…”
And you replace it with the new story you came up with in Step 4.
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How To Forgive And Let Go (5 Steps) - Devon Brown
How To Forgive And Let Go (5 Steps) - Devon Brown

[@kriswallstreet4068]

thanks for sharing , it was very informative and helpful. Complete paradigm shift !

[@DevonBrownTV]

You're welcome!