0:55 - plot twist! The girl with the axe is actually a superhero protecting people from criminals and she MADE Liverpool the safest place in the UK in just 1 minute
"woman told she is a bad parent but an amazing Groucho Marx" Also, as a Yorkshireman, if I were faced with a £54 bill for fish and chips, I would need to be on oxygen for hyperventilation and nausea.
As a Yorkshireman mesen, I'd go full bore Yorkshire, South proper broad Yorkshire accent 'n'everything! The sort people not from Yorkshire would need subtitles and a dictionary jus to get the gist of it! "Eeh, chuffing 'eck, that's a bloody disgrace, I te'thee, a ruddy disgrace! Tha'c'n stuff tha food up tha jacksie, we're not cuming 'ere again, tha'n get stuffed!"
I got my first cat a cat advent calendar once. It had milk drops and catnip drops. Of course my cat, being a stoner, only liked the catnip ones and unceremoniously destroyed the whole calendar on the second day in order to inhale the catnip drops. Absolute nutter. And, yes, she was orange/ginger. 🤣
The more videos I watch of yours JJLA the more I realise that your seriously extraordinarily soothing voice is not who you are. You are a subtle beast. It's kind of Hufflepuff doing bad shit to Slytherin. What's not to love about that.
The Shark on the roof thing is simple. The house owner is now financially responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the Shark and it can never remove it. This responsibility will be handed over to future owners.
Aldi and Lidl both have a long counter near the exit / tills. That's for packing your bags. If you cannot keep up with the cashier, you're supposed to just sling the stuff back in your trolley and pack it where you're not holding up other customers.
What do you put your shopping in when you are going around Aldis? Even if you used a basket then you could just take the empty basket and put the items in it and then pack your bags in the area set aside for it.
@@vtbn53 okay, when you are selecting your items you just put them in the bags you brought? That would look shifty as hell (if I saw someone doing that I would assume they were shoplifting), that is why they provide baskets or trolleys. The reason why packing bags at Aldi is difficult is because they have the smallest packing area, and the quickest cashiers and everyone knows that when you are packing a bag you can't always pack them well and quickly. If your shop is small enough that you have no problems then that is good but it is still strange as hell that you don't use a basket or trolley when selecting your items
@@nathanthom8176 Well generally speaking we don't shoplift here in Australia, so it's not regarded as shifty, in any case you couldn't get out of the shop without someone seeing you, using the bags allows me to go straight to my car and I am done, the problem with trolleys is they don't have brakes so whilst you are unloading them they start wandering off potentially smashing into other cars, and no Aldi I have ever been to has baskets.
The shark in the roof sculpture has ben in place for decades. Initially it was subject to a number of complaints due to it not being 'in character' for the neighbourhood. But now it's been in place for so long it's a heritage site. It does mean the owner cannot now remove it should they want to.
We have a pet African grey parrot and they definitely laugh or understand laughter. He started pushing things off tables so they land on our dogs, then looks us at us for our reaction, and does it again
Parrots are cleverer than most people think. The most intelligent can absolutely apply words to objects, but many can use words situationally, such as greetings. Look up Apollo the parrot, African Greys are frighteningly clever.
I HATE the "sending thoughts and prayers" thing/crowd. It's literally just a few so people can feel and act like they're doing something to help while doing literally nothing.
I don’t think that’s a fair assumption. Most people don’t ‘send thoughts and prayers’ to act like they did something; it’s just a generally accepted thing to say in certain situations. Do you have the same attitude towards people expressing their condolences? What about thanking people for their help just to feel like they did something in return instead of actually doing something instead?
@@Acquittal.. generally non overly religious persons (or non stereotypical Americans) view... '..wishing thoughts & prayers to you/for them' ...as conceitedly shallow thinker's, offering a briefest moment of sincerity, before carrying on in their usual willfully callous ignorance. I am sorry if that offended you or your sensibilities, butt I feel, that most honest people whom are not blinded by fundamentalist religious ideologies, feel the same vibes from the religiously nutty fruitcakes, who use religion and religious language to hide their insulting tones & daemonic eyes, with abusive thoughts & intentions behind their kind sounding phrases.
@@sg-yq8pm of course it’s not the same thing, but the point I was making was that expressing condolences is a way to tell people you are thinking of them. The intention in that way is perfectly similar to sending thoughts and prayers. The idea of thanking people was just used as a thought exercise regarding at what point using words to express emotion (empathy in this case) becomes using words to feel like you did something, without doing anything. Another example are get well soon cards. What purpose do those serve other to act like you are doing something even though everyone knows get well soon cards offer nothing in terms of a quicker recovery? There really is no difference between sending a get well soon card, and sending thoughts and prayers. Why is one better than the other? Since it is completely unreasonable to label someone sending a get well soon card as putting on a show just to feel and act like they’re doing something when they are really not, and sending a card js no different to sending thoughts and prayers, it is absolutely not a fair assumption to label anyone sending thoughts and prayers as the exact same thing. Sure, sending cards, thoughts and prayers are inane, but it is not fair to say people do so just to act like they are doing something. People do so because they are thinking of people and want people to know that, and that is true in terms of what they feel regardless of the fact that it is really doing nothing.
'The offer of thoughts and prayers is a simple one, a quiet gift that requires absolutely nothing of the recipient. A gesture that says we see you. We care about you. We send our love and support from near and far, in the only way we know how.'
Amuses me that you misread 24-hour clock as 7:24 when it was 17:24. The UK rarely uses am/pm on official platforms to avoid confusion about the time of day
In Aldi at the checkout if you have a big shop it's good etiquette to put your items back into your trolly/cart and then packing your stuff into your bags at the packing shelf next to the checkout .
The shark in the roof has been a feature for over 20 years. Most of that time the local council have tried to get it removed because it didn't have planning permission. The guy that made it was famous for large fibreglass artworks - Can Can legs outside the Moulin Rouge cinema in Headington - Jazz Hands and Al Jolson eyes and Lips outside another cinema in Oxford. We need more stuff like this!
While I agree that not cheating is the bare minimum and should not be praised, I’d also say that someone who was a notorious cheater does deserve some praise for acknowledging their wrongdoing and changing their ways.
Hey I'll have you no that sometimes, doing the bare minimum is not easy. Especially if you have beautiful women throwing themselves at you all the time, it takes a lot of self discipline to say no
I was actually injured in also by a cashier going to fast, she threw a large can which landed on my foot (summer so sandals) it severely bruised & broke my toes and the nail had to be removed as it split down the middle, from tip to cuticle, bled like a MoFu
Offensive Weapon - any article made or adapted for use for causing injury to the person or intended by the person having it with him for such use by him or by some other person”. So an unberella open to protect from rain is fine. Close it a hit someone with it you have adapted it into a weapon. Article with blade or point in a public place. Any article which has a blade or is sharply pointed except a folding pocketknife, unless the blade of the folding pocketknife exceeds 3 inches (7.62cm). Lawful reason or reasonable excuse are defences. For example a Carpet layer pops into the pub after work for a pint with a cutting knife on his work belt this would be a lawful and reasonable excuse. If he is still in the pub two hours later with the knife he might find himself in trouble.
The general rule for Aldi is that you just pop the items back in the trolley and then pack them in the area in which they intend you to do this. Do i wish Aldi had more traditional packing areas and weren't so quick? kind of but i am also aware that they generally assign less space for tills and don't even have self service.
I see ridiculous headlines all the time. The "Freddie Starr ate my hamster" headline was a classic. There was also a story about a seagull abducting a dog and it's possible bones being discovered on a roof.
Oh, and another side note, the point about the Chicken Kiev refers to the fact that Ukraine prefers Kyiv to Kiev and Ukraine not The Ukraine (as these are the former soviet nomenclature). Here in Spain lots of restaurants started calling a dish common to tapas restaurants known as "ensalada rusa" (kind of a coleslaw potato salad type thing) as ensalada kyiv instead or another variation.....
The fast scanning items through checkout. That article you showed said Guisborough (pronounced Gisbrogh), is a small town 5 miles from me at Marske by the Sea (pronounced Mask). What an absolute disgrace of a human being. The staff can be obnoxious. I do not personally shop there but know where it is. Can I just say, I love how you get, and appreciate the subtleties of English humour. Not many Americans do. Also I love the softness of your voice, it is beautiful. So calming and relaxing. You must come visit tye UK some time, but please go to different places other than just London and the South of England. We are more diverse than that. Check out Northumberland beaches for one thing, like Embleton. Bamburgh. Seahouses.
The dad was angry because the food they were given wasnt anything close to a christmas dinner as advertised. Christmas dinners in the UK are really similar to american thanksgiving dinner, typically having; Roasted potatoes, vegetables like carrots, swede, peas, string beans, sometimes yorkshire puddings and always sliced meat like lamb, turkey or gammon. It's false advertising. It'd be like if you were at a restaurant, ordered a thanks giving dinner and they gave you fries, chicken and a slice of tomato. It's not that the dinner wasnt inedible, but that the food was entirely incorrect for what they ordered.
Well done for correcting yourself on the date format !👏 The bladed law IS CORRECT. KYIV is pronounced KEEV. For some strange reason it changed from KIEV ( KEY EV) when the war started ! KFC don't sell CHIPS. They sell French Fries ! I used to work at a local BP petrol station and I got suspended for 2 weeks for trying to stop a shoplifter !! Even the police said that my bosses had criminalised the wrong person ! Shop liftings are at epidemic proportions in the UK because shop staff are NOT allowed to stop them now ! EASTENDERS is a British soap opera on the BBC. Tracy starred in it for a while.
Little pronunciation tip JJ, (in the nicest possible way :p) place names ending -ham have the end sound -um (or a soft erm but um might be easier), so.. Birmingum, Duh-rum, Nottingum, Cheltnum, Tottnum etc... besos!!!
Love the seagull stories! 😂 I also appreciate the fart calculation 👍 The 14 year old girl had probably been handed the axe by one of the boys in the group. They likely have criminal records and she didn’t - until now! We have some great business names for some of our take aways (fast food) in Bristol. My favourite names are Shake, Wrap And Roll; Reel Sole; and Jason’s Doner Van 😃
10:09 SEAGULL: Oooh I don't feel to good, too much plink. [Burps]. OOOH! Tourist, schoolboy, jogger, business women, oh there ya go - Firefighter. Blearrrghhh!! 18:32 Wait 'till they get a squizz at Bluey! ;)
You're not supposed to pack your bags at the checkout in Aldi you place all your shopping on the belt and the cashier then sweeps it through the scanner and into your shopping trolley (cart) . once you've paid there is a large bagging area with a counter where you can take as long as you need without inconveniencing others.
The sticking random objects up bums is a real problem. I work in an A and E department and the things we see up peoples rectums is strange….. we once had a guy who had “fell on to a toilet brush “ up his backside, but the brush was bristles end first??? How???? If he had fell on the handle…. Maybe but how did it flip to bristles first?? Another was a woman with a light bulb …. Don’t ask 😄🙏 though more serious as she had an allergy to the latex gloves 🙁 which caused sneezing 😮
In regards to the driving test, it doesn't matter where you take your test. Most people just take it at the closest one. The DVLA (the UK equivalent of the DMV) only care about that you pass or fail, not where you took the test.
Always boggles my mind how British (especially English) people call the ground outside the "floor". Here, N Ireland, like most places, the floor is indoors.
chicken and chips like that is kinda a standard meal your mum would throw together if shes being lazy, the no gravy too is especially concerning id never eat a sunday dinner esque meal without drowning it in gravy. Or curry, or kebab sauce, or nandos sauce etc haha we brits love our sauces.
I am born and raised in London but its was hard to pass a driving test here in the late 80s early 90s and still is so i took my test in a place called Carlyle its 350 miles from my home its on the English, Scottish border, you can take your test where you want in the uk and btw i did pass 👍🏴
@14:00 -- The Daily Mirror is a tabloid paper. Stories are not always entirely accurate. Note that the 19-year-old with appendicitis is the one who claims that holding in her farts is what caused it; doctors declined to comment.
During the war, the RAF Police stationed in our billet, taught our budgie to say "Ginger bugger, Gladys"..I remember clearing hearing it at just 4 yrs old!
They probably didn't want it to be a heritage site because if they decide to sell the house it's going to be a bit difficult. You are going to have to find someone that wants the shark because it cannot be changed once it is one because the shark makes it one. Eastenders is a TV programme that is set in the East End of London.
"Did she just happen to have the axe" LoL People pick up stray axes all the time. There's that saying: "See an axe, pick it up, all that day, people will be nice to you" I don't believe the story about the girl keeping her farts in. Surely she wouldn't have been around her boyfriend 24/7. She could have gone to the toilet to let it out. I've never shopped in Aldi, but as far as I know, the cashiers are told by management to be as fast as they possibly can. It's been a joke for years. Until you're on the other end of it I guess.
Presumably, the 72-year-old guy who had no driving licence can't have had any insurance either as you have to give your full details to the Insurer to get cover in the first place. The "pothole" in Fermanagh looks like a "foxhole" ... but there again, it is in Northern Ireland!
17:17 Having worded in an aldi, I can confirm that management are continually breathing down your neck about items not being scanned through quick enough. 1000 items per hour was the target when I was there, that's 3-ish seconds per item, and thats not counting the time taken to change over money, process card trasactions, etc. Last I heard they bumped it to 1100 per hour a couple of years back. That's part of why the shop is so cheap. Minimal staff, with maximum throughput, at maximum speed.
While I understand why one would want to change the usual English spelling to match the Ukrainian pronunciation, I (in my humble and not asked for opinion) don't think it's that good of an idea and it's unlikely to catch on. For one, Kyiv is hard to read and pronounce to English speakers. Secondly, the writing Kiev is not the Russian name for the city but the English name, based it's true on the Russian pronunciation, and has been consecrated by use. It's a bit like wanting to change the name of Japan to Nihon because it's based on the Chinese pronunciation. But I'm arguing on nothing, and I don't think the subject is that important, and the public will follow the name that it wants eventually, if Kyiv catches on it's all right.
@@esmeltorlath I dissagree... We danes are fed up with the callous and dissrespectfull way, english speakers violate our national pride, by calling our beautiful capitol city "Copenhagen", instead of it's actual name, København !, A name of rare beauty and sofistication....
"Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious" Only headline I could think of when I saw the title of this video. Probably too old to be on here though.
Parrots do kind of know what they are saying. They don't know the meaning of the word, more the context. They know swearing is "angry" or "naughty" noises. My parrot and many I've seen swear when they are angry at something. When we leave the room for the night mine says "Goodnight" or "Night night" as we're by the door, or if he want's us to leave so he can sleep he'll start saying it until we do.
Swearing is often not said in anger though and is often part of every day speech depending on the person. Some swear words are even used affectionately and often humourously.
@@faithpearlgenied-a5517 Yeah. what I mean is they contextually understand the meaning. Even when joking, when people swear they tend to put on a faux "angry voice". You hardly hear people saying "If you would be so kind as to fuck off gently, you absolute bellend" in a calm manner, and if you did a parrot wouldn't really pick out any of the words contextually. Whereas "FUCK OFF SHITCUNT!" stands out.
@@carltaylor6452 From what I remember they "reckon" that African Grey's have the vocabulary of a 5 year old, but the emotions of a 2 year old. Not as instinctively smart as Crows or Ravens, but I think you could teach some to be close to it. I've seen that Alex the African Grey could combine words he knew to make words he didn't. So for example, he liked bananas and cherries and knew their names, but didn't know the word for apple, so called them "banerry".
Aha love the fact my home city is the first pic, also the Liverpool echo is shite. And yes it is legal to carry a knife if the blade is less than 3 inches and does not lock open, everything else is illegal unless carrying with good reason, like you can carry a sword with you, providing it is fully covered (not visible to public) and if you have good reason, which could be: its a prop for re-enactment or stage acting etc, or sports.
Prior to my IT career, I worked for almost 20 years in mental health in the NHS, and can honestly say that nothing surprises me any more about what people hide in their various orifices. Knives, razor blades, drugs, small bottles of alcohol (multiple), and one lady had a banana inserted in her VGA which had turned brown and mushy so it had obviously been there for a while 🤢🤮
Reminds me of lady in a cinema I worked in watching a Johnny depp movie stuck a cucumber up herself and it snapped and she had to go to hospital to remove it. 🤦♀️🤣
The terrorism question. If I remember correctly this may be the U.S. online form to apply for the ESTA visa waiver scheme. It’s a while since I filled one out but I vaguely remember some really dumb questions like this. Like “do you support a terrorist organisation?” or some such. I always laugh when I tick NO because I assume most terrorists are smart enough to do the same. 😂
Tracy-Anne Oberman is a great TV actress, probably best known for Friday Night Dinner, or After Life, or if you watch soaps she did a year of East Enders.
You’d be amazed parrots are highly intelligent and do understand meanings behind msny words , they might not know the F bomb means sex but they know it garners a certain response , and isn’t that what most ppl use it for?
3:07 - this is why I quit my last job. I couldn't deal with BS complaints like this and THEN have to nicely apologise that nothing can be done even if they complain
Driving licenses wrere created in 1903 but not compulsory until 1935, so maybe the 72 years of driving predated that legislation, and since laws are not retroactive, was he breaking the law for 72 years? When was the article written?
0:55 - plot twist! The girl with the axe is actually a superhero protecting people from criminals and she MADE Liverpool the safest place in the UK in just 1 minute
Exactly. If she’s a vampire slayer……
Gathering firewood
😂
I've been Liverpool it's legit, I believe it.
The fact you sat and did the math(s) on the length of that fart just makes me love your channel all the more.
"woman told she is a bad parent but an amazing Groucho Marx"
Also, as a Yorkshireman, if I were faced with a £54 bill for fish and chips, I would need to be on oxygen for hyperventilation and nausea.
As a yorkshire women so would I 😂
Yep. And 8 quid for a pint. Bloody ridiculous
As a Yorkshireman mesen, I'd go full bore Yorkshire, South proper broad Yorkshire accent 'n'everything! The sort people not from Yorkshire would need subtitles and a dictionary jus to get the gist of it! "Eeh, chuffing 'eck, that's a bloody disgrace, I te'thee, a ruddy disgrace! Tha'c'n stuff tha food up tha jacksie, we're not cuming 'ere again, tha'n get stuffed!"
I got my first cat a cat advent calendar once. It had milk drops and catnip drops. Of course my cat, being a stoner, only liked the catnip ones and unceremoniously destroyed the whole calendar on the second day in order to inhale the catnip drops. Absolute nutter. And, yes, she was orange/ginger. 🤣
I feel like the cashier at Aldi was partaking in malicious compliance lol
There used to be a second hand shop in Seven Sisters called ‘Arrods until the miserable scalliwags threatened to sue.
The more videos I watch of yours JJLA the more I realise that your seriously extraordinarily soothing voice is not who you are. You are a subtle beast. It's kind of Hufflepuff doing bad shit to Slytherin. What's not to love about that.
would also love to know how old he is?
The Shark on the roof thing is simple.
The house owner is now financially responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of the Shark and it can never remove it.
This responsibility will be handed over to future owners.
Aldi and Lidl both have a long counter near the exit / tills. That's for packing your bags. If you cannot keep up with the cashier, you're supposed to just sling the stuff back in your trolley and pack it where you're not holding up other customers.
Yeah but we don't all use trolleys, I just use two bags.
What do you put your shopping in when you are going around Aldis? Even if you used a basket then you could just take the empty basket and put the items in it and then pack your bags in the area set aside for it.
@@nathanthom8176 The bags, what's the matter with you?
@@vtbn53 okay, when you are selecting your items you just put them in the bags you brought? That would look shifty as hell (if I saw someone doing that I would assume they were shoplifting), that is why they provide baskets or trolleys.
The reason why packing bags at Aldi is difficult is because they have the smallest packing area, and the quickest cashiers and everyone knows that when you are packing a bag you can't always pack them well and quickly. If your shop is small enough that you have no problems then that is good but it is still strange as hell that you don't use a basket or trolley when selecting your items
@@nathanthom8176 Well generally speaking we don't shoplift here in Australia, so it's not regarded as shifty, in any case you couldn't get out of the shop without someone seeing you, using the bags allows me to go straight to my car and I am done, the problem with trolleys is they don't have brakes so whilst you are unloading them they start wandering off potentially smashing into other cars, and no Aldi I have ever been to has baskets.
Crying laughing at some of those and LOVE that you worked out how long her fart would last if it came out in one go.🤣🤣
The shark in the roof sculpture has ben in place for decades. Initially it was subject to a number of complaints due to it not being 'in character' for the neighbourhood. But now it's been in place for so long it's a heritage site. It does mean the owner cannot now remove it should they want to.
and they have to maintain it, exactly as it is
My mum has never farted in front of people, but when she goes to the loo, it's like listening to a beat box contest
We have a pet African grey parrot and they definitely laugh or understand laughter. He started pushing things off tables so they land on our dogs, then looks us at us for our reaction, and does it again
Loved the reaction, I think we’re on a similar wavelength.
Parrots are cleverer than most people think. The most intelligent can absolutely apply words to objects, but many can use words situationally, such as greetings. Look up Apollo the parrot, African Greys are frighteningly clever.
I HATE the "sending thoughts and prayers" thing/crowd. It's literally just a few so people can feel and act like they're doing something to help while doing literally nothing.
I don’t think that’s a fair assumption. Most people don’t ‘send thoughts and prayers’ to act like they did something; it’s just a generally accepted thing to say in certain situations. Do you have the same attitude towards people expressing their condolences? What about thanking people for their help just to feel like they did something in return instead of actually doing something instead?
@@Acquittal.. generally non overly religious persons (or non stereotypical Americans) view...
'..wishing thoughts & prayers to you/for them'
...as conceitedly shallow thinker's, offering a briefest moment of sincerity, before carrying on in their usual willfully callous ignorance.
I am sorry if that offended you or your sensibilities, butt I feel, that most honest people whom are not blinded by fundamentalist religious ideologies, feel the same vibes from the religiously nutty fruitcakes, who use religion and religious language to hide their insulting tones & daemonic eyes, with abusive thoughts & intentions behind their kind sounding phrases.
@@sg-yq8pm of course it’s not the same thing, but the point I was making was that expressing condolences is a way to tell people you are thinking of them. The intention in that way is perfectly similar to sending thoughts and prayers. The idea of thanking people was just used as a thought exercise regarding at what point using words to express emotion (empathy in this case) becomes using words to feel like you did something, without doing anything.
Another example are get well soon cards. What purpose do those serve other to act like you are doing something even though everyone knows get well soon cards offer nothing in terms of a quicker recovery?
There really is no difference between sending a get well soon card, and sending thoughts and prayers. Why is one better than the other?
Since it is completely unreasonable to label someone sending a get well soon card as putting on a show just to feel and act like they’re doing something when they are really not, and sending a card js no different to sending thoughts and prayers, it is absolutely not a fair assumption to label anyone sending thoughts and prayers as the exact same thing.
Sure, sending cards, thoughts and prayers are inane, but it is not fair to say people do so just to act like they are doing something. People do so because they are thinking of people and want people to know that, and that is true in terms of what they feel regardless of the fact that it is really doing nothing.
'The offer of thoughts and prayers is a simple one, a quiet gift that requires absolutely nothing of the recipient. A gesture that says we see you. We care about you. We send our love and support from near and far, in the only way we know how.'
@markalexander3659 my thoughts and prayers are with you. I feel your pain.
I feel like some of the names in those articles could be replaced by the words "Florida man" 😂
Amuses me that you misread 24-hour clock as 7:24 when it was 17:24. The UK rarely uses am/pm on official platforms to avoid confusion about the time of day
In Aldi at the checkout if you have a big shop it's good etiquette to put your items back into your trolly/cart and then packing your stuff into your bags at the packing shelf next to the checkout .
My favourite newspaper headline ever. when I was living in this area of London: "60% of Holloway dogs on drugs say police".
I never try to bag in the shop. I sling most of my stuff back into the trolley & pack it into bags when I get back to my car.
The shark in the roof has been a feature for over 20 years. Most of that time the local council have tried to get it removed because it didn't have planning permission. The guy that made it was famous for large fibreglass artworks - Can Can legs outside the Moulin Rouge cinema in Headington - Jazz Hands and Al Jolson eyes and Lips outside another cinema in Oxford. We need more stuff like this!
Didn't he do it as a protest, and that's why he didn't want it as a heritage site??.
I just had a quick look on its Wiki page, it's been there nearly 40 years now. It was put there in 1986.
My god - doesn't the time fly when you're having fun.@@JamesLMason
It is possible to stay in the shark house
That's amazing - I didn't know that. When I think of all the flak that was flying round at the time it went up I've got to smile😆@@sarahjoines9343
21:30 vacuum escaping from hotel, is this the beginning of the machine uprising? 😂😂😂
Hi John, love your reactions. You deserve more subscribers xx
I love that you did the maths on the farts! 😂
The way he says Axe sounds like EX, so it sounds like some woman is in the park with her Ex like it's breaking news 😂
These were hilarious, but wrong on so many levels 😂 thanks for the attention to detail, I feel I learnt a lot about farts 😂
I’ve never had curried seagull before, but I’m willing to give it a go if there is enough to share around!! 😊
Nobody should be PRAISED for "No longer cheating">..that's literally the BARE MINIMUM
While I agree that not cheating is the bare minimum and should not be praised, I’d also say that someone who was a notorious cheater does deserve some praise for acknowledging their wrongdoing and changing their ways.
Yeah it's great to go from bad to fine. Especially when so many people that do bad stuff just stay there!
Hey I'll have you no that sometimes, doing the bare minimum is not easy. Especially if you have beautiful women throwing themselves at you all the time, it takes a lot of self discipline to say no
@@vincentvega9863 Not if you actually love your partner it doesn't.
The bit where you were going over the two year fart/appendix scenario in your head made me giggle 😂
My husband dropped his tray of KFC on the floor at the Great Yarmouth branch. The staff replaced it for free.
Im so glad you did the maths on the farts! 😂😅😂 You had me cracking up!! ❤
I was actually injured in also by a cashier going to fast, she threw a large can which landed on my foot (summer so sandals) it severely bruised & broke my toes and the nail had to be removed as it split down the middle, from tip to cuticle, bled like a MoFu
Offensive Weapon - any article made or adapted for use for causing injury to the person or intended by the person having it with him for such use by him or by some other person”. So an unberella open to protect from rain is fine. Close it a hit someone with it you have adapted it into a weapon. Article with blade or point in a public place. Any article which has a blade or is sharply pointed except a folding pocketknife, unless the blade of the folding pocketknife exceeds 3 inches (7.62cm). Lawful reason or reasonable excuse are defences. For example a Carpet layer pops into the pub after work for a pint with a cutting knife on his work belt this would be a lawful and reasonable excuse. If he is still in the pub two hours later with the knife he might find himself in trouble.
The general rule for Aldi is that you just pop the items back in the trolley and then pack them in the area in which they intend you to do this. Do i wish Aldi had more traditional packing areas and weren't so quick? kind of but i am also aware that they generally assign less space for tills and don't even have self service.
The one time I shopped at Aldi they chucked my food down the checkout like they were conveying coal
About 40 years ago a shop owner in our village was threatened with Court by Harrods for calling his shop Herod's using the same colours and font
In Essex/Anglia there used to be (or maybe still is) a burger van called Carl's Burgers, with appropriate font.
IIRC there was also case regarding a London market stallholder who used the name " 'Arrod's "
I see ridiculous headlines all the time. The "Freddie Starr ate my hamster" headline was a classic. There was also a story about a seagull abducting a dog and it's possible bones being discovered on a roof.
I like how your internet ads are all guitar stuff, shows what you’re browsing outside vids. A man after my own heart.
Oh, and another side note, the point about the Chicken Kiev refers to the fact that Ukraine prefers Kyiv to Kiev and Ukraine not The Ukraine (as these are the former soviet nomenclature). Here in Spain lots of restaurants started calling a dish common to tapas restaurants known as "ensalada rusa" (kind of a coleslaw potato salad type thing) as ensalada kyiv instead or another variation.....
just 2 weeks ago i noticed a headline that said ' Britains hardest seagull is a wuss' - top quality journalism.
Many parents swear in front of their young children, yet get offended by others doing the same.
In Aldi U have a target to meet every hour on the check out and codes to remember for items that are to big to scan or fruit and veg
Brilliant. keep up the great work. I always laugh at your posts, when appropriate, even not.
The fast scanning items through checkout. That article you showed said Guisborough (pronounced Gisbrogh), is a small town 5 miles from me at Marske by the Sea (pronounced Mask). What an absolute disgrace of a human being. The staff can be obnoxious. I do not personally shop there but know where it is. Can I just say, I love how you get, and appreciate the subtleties of English humour. Not many Americans do. Also I love the softness of your voice, it is beautiful. So calming and relaxing. You must come visit tye UK some time, but please go to different places other than just London and the South of England. We are more diverse than that. Check out Northumberland beaches for one thing, like Embleton. Bamburgh. Seahouses.
The dad was angry because the food they were given wasnt anything close to a christmas dinner as advertised.
Christmas dinners in the UK are really similar to american thanksgiving dinner, typically having; Roasted potatoes, vegetables like carrots, swede, peas, string beans, sometimes yorkshire puddings and always sliced meat like lamb, turkey or gammon.
It's false advertising.
It'd be like if you were at a restaurant, ordered a thanks giving dinner and they gave you fries, chicken and a slice of tomato.
It's not that the dinner wasnt inedible, but that the food was entirely incorrect for what they ordered.
Well done for correcting yourself on the date format !👏
The bladed law IS CORRECT.
KYIV is pronounced KEEV. For some strange reason it changed from KIEV ( KEY EV) when the war started !
KFC don't sell CHIPS. They sell French Fries !
I used to work at a local BP petrol station and I got suspended for 2 weeks for trying to stop a shoplifter !! Even the police said that my bosses had criminalised the wrong person ! Shop liftings are at epidemic proportions in the UK because shop staff are NOT allowed to stop them now !
EASTENDERS is a British soap opera on the BBC. Tracy starred in it for a while.
The pronunciation changed to match the Ukrainian way of saying it, whereas Key-ev is how Russians pronounce it (if memory serves me correctly).
Little pronunciation tip JJ, (in the nicest possible way :p) place names ending -ham have the end sound -um (or a soft erm but um might be easier), so.. Birmingum, Duh-rum, Nottingum, Cheltnum, Tottnum etc... besos!!!
@MsClaudz Nottingham is pronounced "Shithole" !
@@robcrossgrove7927 🤣 I honestly can't argue with that statement.. Been there many times, have never been impressed with that place..
Love the seagull stories! 😂 I also appreciate the fart calculation 👍 The 14 year old girl had probably been handed the axe by one of the boys in the group. They likely have criminal records and she didn’t - until now! We have some great business names for some of our take aways (fast food) in Bristol. My favourite names are Shake, Wrap And Roll; Reel Sole; and Jason’s Doner Van 😃
Abra-Kebabra has always been one of my fav food shop names.
10:09 SEAGULL: Oooh I don't feel to good, too much plink. [Burps]. OOOH! Tourist, schoolboy, jogger, business women, oh there ya go - Firefighter. Blearrrghhh!!
18:32 Wait 'till they get a squizz at Bluey! ;)
I used to go to Newsham park with my grandma in the 70s every Sunday morning when I was a kid and slide down the hill on a dinner tray.
Love the curried seagull.
Sounds delicious
I remember the graveyard man. That had me in hysterics for months,
You have the most calming relaxing voice
You're not supposed to pack your bags at the checkout in Aldi you place all your shopping on the belt and the cashier then sweeps it through the scanner and into your shopping trolley (cart) . once you've paid there is a large bagging area with a counter where you can take as long as you need without inconveniencing others.
Bill Heine was an eccentric American broadcaster working for Radio Oxford. The shark was put up as a protest. I love seeing it.
The sticking random objects up bums is a real problem. I work in an A and E department and the things we see up peoples rectums is strange….. we once had a guy who had “fell on to a toilet brush “ up his backside, but the brush was bristles end first??? How???? If he had fell on the handle…. Maybe but how did it flip to bristles first??
Another was a woman with a light bulb …. Don’t ask 😄🙏 though more serious as she had an allergy to the latex gloves 🙁 which caused sneezing 😮
I know my friend works in A & E and I hear increasing grotesque behaviour.
In regards to the driving test, it doesn't matter where you take your test. Most people just take it at the closest one. The DVLA (the UK equivalent of the DMV) only care about that you pass or fail, not where you took the test.
Dude you have one of the most chill voices ever. You should do audio books or something.
Always boggles my mind how British (especially English) people call the ground outside the "floor". Here, N Ireland, like most places, the floor is indoors.
I don’t! It’s outside or outdoors
I am British and have never called the ground outside "the floor". On occasions when I have heard it, it has been said tongue in cheek.
chicken and chips like that is kinda a standard meal your mum would throw together if shes being lazy, the no gravy too is especially concerning id never eat a sunday dinner esque meal without drowning it in gravy. Or curry, or kebab sauce, or nandos sauce etc haha we brits love our sauces.
I am born and raised in London but its was hard to pass a driving test here in the late 80s early 90s and still is so i took my test in a place called Carlyle its 350 miles from my home its on the English, Scottish border, you can take your test where you want in the uk and btw i did pass 👍🏴
Is that anywhere near Carlisle?..Just asking for a friend.
@@mikefarley8563 lol I was using predictive text didn't check the spelling but yeah its near there mate haha
@14:00 -- The Daily Mirror is a tabloid paper. Stories are not always entirely accurate. Note that the 19-year-old with appendicitis is the one who claims that holding in her farts is what caused it; doctors declined to comment.
laughed out loud at a few of these lol cheers man, keep doing what yer doing ;)
Get this man on countdown doing the numbers next to Rachel Reilly. He can convert the answers into fart times 😂
Did you just say its worse than the floor that looks like the ground?.. uh dude that's the same thing 😂
African grey parrot's have been found to be highly intelligent, some have said as clever as a 3 to 5 year old!
During the war, the RAF Police stationed in our billet, taught our budgie to say "Ginger bugger, Gladys"..I remember clearing hearing it at just 4 yrs old!
I absolutely love your channel ❤❤❤
Have you earned enough for that Fender yet?? 😂
I really enjoy your videos, but my cat is worried because I answer you and laugh a lot. Keep going - you’re lovely!
It means she used to appear in the EastEnders soap opera.
They probably didn't want it to be a heritage site because if they decide to sell the house it's going to be a bit difficult. You are going to have to find someone that wants the shark because it cannot be changed once it is one because the shark makes it one.
Eastenders is a TV programme that is set in the East End of London.
"Did she just happen to have the axe" LoL People pick up stray axes all the time. There's that saying: "See an axe, pick it up, all that day, people will be nice to you"
I don't believe the story about the girl keeping her farts in. Surely she wouldn't have been around her boyfriend 24/7. She could have gone to the toilet to let it out.
I've never shopped in Aldi, but as far as I know, the cashiers are told by management to be as fast as they possibly can. It's been a joke for years. Until you're on the other end of it I guess.
Presumably, the 72-year-old guy who had no driving licence can't have had any insurance either as you have to give your full details to the Insurer to get cover in the first place.
The "pothole" in Fermanagh looks like a "foxhole" ... but there again, it is in Northern Ireland!
17:17 Having worded in an aldi, I can confirm that management are continually breathing down your neck about items not being scanned through quick enough. 1000 items per hour was the target when I was there, that's 3-ish seconds per item, and thats not counting the time taken to change over money, process card trasactions, etc. Last I heard they bumped it to 1100 per hour a couple of years back.
That's part of why the shop is so cheap. Minimal staff, with maximum throughput, at maximum speed.
One reason why I always use the self-checkouts if possible!
My ex had a parrot that if you called out "Puss" it would reply "meoww".
Pretty funny to hear an American talking about the park I can literally see from my living room window.
Tracy Ann Oberman is an actress, East Enders is a long running soap that she was in for a few years.
For future reference, Kyiv is the capital city of Ukraine.
Ukraine*
While I understand why one would want to change the usual English spelling to match the Ukrainian pronunciation, I (in my humble and not asked for opinion) don't think it's that good of an idea and it's unlikely to catch on. For one, Kyiv is hard to read and pronounce to English speakers. Secondly, the writing Kiev is not the Russian name for the city but the English name, based it's true on the Russian pronunciation, and has been consecrated by use.
It's a bit like wanting to change the name of Japan to Nihon because it's based on the Chinese pronunciation.
But I'm arguing on nothing, and I don't think the subject is that important, and the public will follow the name that it wants eventually, if Kyiv catches on it's all right.
@@esmeltorlath I dissagree... We danes are fed up with the callous and dissrespectfull way, english speakers violate our national pride, by calling our beautiful capitol city "Copenhagen", instead of it's actual name, København !, A name of rare beauty and sofistication....
Sorry people. I am not going to start pronouncing Paris as "Paree" ... 😂
And it used to be part of Russia back in the day. So everyone is kinda right.
😂😂😂🏴 the ground is the floor 😂😂😂😂
"Super Caley Go Ballistic Celtic Are Atrocious"
Only headline I could think of when I saw the title of this video. Probably too old to be on here though.
Parrots do kind of know what they are saying. They don't know the meaning of the word, more the context. They know swearing is "angry" or "naughty" noises. My parrot and many I've seen swear when they are angry at something. When we leave the room for the night mine says "Goodnight" or "Night night" as we're by the door, or if he want's us to leave so he can sleep he'll start saying it until we do.
Swearing is often not said in anger though and is often part of every day speech depending on the person. Some swear words are even used affectionately and often humourously.
I can buy this. Parrots are pretty smart birds; maybe not as smart as some covids, but still smarter than your average human baby.
@@faithpearlgenied-a5517 Yeah. what I mean is they contextually understand the meaning. Even when joking, when people swear they tend to put on a faux "angry voice". You hardly hear people saying "If you would be so kind as to fuck off gently, you absolute bellend" in a calm manner, and if you did a parrot wouldn't really pick out any of the words contextually. Whereas "FUCK OFF SHITCUNT!" stands out.
@@carltaylor6452 From what I remember they "reckon" that African Grey's have the vocabulary of a 5 year old, but the emotions of a 2 year old. Not as instinctively smart as Crows or Ravens, but I think you could teach some to be close to it. I've seen that Alex the African Grey could combine words he knew to make words he didn't. So for example, he liked bananas and cherries and knew their names, but didn't know the word for apple, so called them "banerry".
The Yorkshire fish n chips one is funny because us Yorkshire folk are notoriously tight with money.
The no farting girl is nonsense. You relax in your sleep and let go. Also when you poop.
adds shark because angry at planning officer. council lists house as heritage site out of revenge.
Aha love the fact my home city is the first pic, also the Liverpool echo is shite.
And yes it is legal to carry a knife if the blade is less than 3 inches and does not lock open, everything else is illegal unless carrying with good reason, like you can carry a sword with you, providing it is fully covered (not visible to public) and if you have good reason, which could be: its a prop for re-enactment or stage acting etc, or sports.
Yep! 💯👍🏻🤣
Prior to my IT career, I worked for almost 20 years in mental health in the NHS, and can honestly say that nothing surprises me any more about what people hide in their various orifices. Knives, razor blades, drugs, small bottles of alcohol (multiple), and one lady had a banana inserted in her VGA which had turned brown and mushy so it had obviously been there for a while 🤢🤮
Reminds me of lady in a cinema I worked in watching a Johnny depp movie stuck a cucumber up herself and it snapped and she had to go to hospital to remove it. 🤦♀️🤣
@@fayesouthall6604 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wouldn't have taken that long.
The warmth would have encouraged it
I assume the path stolen was some really old natural stone paving. Which has ended up in somebody's very expensive thatched cottage garden makeover.
Probably York Stone
The terrorism question. If I remember correctly this may be the U.S. online form to apply for the ESTA visa waiver scheme. It’s a while since I filled one out but I vaguely remember some really dumb questions like this. Like “do you support a terrorist organisation?” or some such. I always laugh when I tick NO because I assume most terrorists are smart enough to do the same. 😂
Sainsbury's, and Morrisons are big supermarket chains here in the uk
i wonder if the irish barrister got a new job at the coop lol
Loving the fart calculation sidebar. Great video.
Tracy-Anne Oberman is a great TV actress, probably best known for Friday Night Dinner, or After Life, or if you watch soaps she did a year of East Enders.
I think JJ needs to know that East Enders is a long-running soap opera that is very popular in the UK.
I am from Liverpool and can confirm that The Echo newspaper is Diabolical. 🤣
You’d be amazed parrots are highly intelligent and do understand meanings behind msny words , they might not know the F bomb means sex but they know it garners a certain response , and isn’t that what most ppl use it for?
I am English, in my 70s. Never heard of any one being killed with an axe in UK. How many shot dead in USA. ???
The fart-math got me, new sub.
When you were diligently breaking down the length of the baristas girlfriend's farts, I was rolling around my sofa.😂😂😂
This is how we know you're a Brit at heart :D Laughing at headlines is our thing, even if they aren't really funny :D
3:07 - this is why I quit my last job. I couldn't deal with BS complaints like this and THEN have to nicely apologise that nothing can be done even if they complain
Driving licenses wrere created in 1903 but not compulsory until 1935, so maybe the 72 years of driving predated that legislation, and since laws are not retroactive, was he breaking the law for 72 years? When was the article written?