CompHet, Purity Culture, and Queer Journeys! 🌈 with Mohera & Caira
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- Опубликовано: 23 июн 2021
- Nic, Mohera and Caira talk about their experiences with compulsory heterosexuality (comphet) and purity culture, and how these oppressive constructs kept us from realizing we are queer. Mohera and Caira talk about their experiences being queer women of color growing up in a conservative state with conservative parents.
🍆 Sex Streams playlist: • Sex Streams 💦🍑
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omg I LOVED your chemistry in this SO much, all of it was so relateable thank you so much!
Lockdown gave me a taste of what it feels like to never wear a bra, and jesus, I don't wanna go back... i don't miss hurt shoulders and painful red marks all over my back 😖
Yeah I've stopped wearing one for the most part now, and the odd time I do wear one I am reminded of just how uncomfortable they are!
It's funny how different my experiences were as an afab nonbinary panromantic ace who was never part of a conservative bubble. I was socialized female and I'm bi-ish, which I found out later in life, so that theoretically puts me in the same ballpark as you guys, but I relate to absolutely none of this. (And obviously I'm not trying to invalidate anyone else's experiences. I don't want it to come across like that.)
I didn't feel competition with 'other' women. I didn't want to be wanted by men (because A dysphoria and B repulsion). I never had a phase where I could imagine sex with women but not relationships. I don't care for boobs. I didn't ever see women as 'just not an option'. My orientation was always 'question mark' before I found ace terminology. I never assumed I was straight. I was never entrenched in purity culture and preserving virginity. I didn't have any internalized homophobia to sort through.
Oh wait. Just got to the part where you're talking about asexuality. Now I relate. Yeah. When I was a kid, it was somehow ingrained into me that I would have to please a man some day, whether I wanted to or not, and I know that came from general society/media and not my actual social bubble. And when I said that I thought sex was gross and I never wanted to do it, nobody believed me. So that reinforced the idea that my feelings did not matter. I cried myself to sleep over this fear a lot when I was just a lil nine year old. There's my comphet story I guess.
I'm really quite sure that comphet (as in literally you're obligated to have sex with a man and your own feelings don't matter, not as in you're not allowed to sleep with a woman) caused my sex repulsion. I don't get as triggered when I imagine myself with a woman. I just imagine being weirded out and asking her to stop and then she stops. But when I imagine myself with a man, my brain goes into absolute panic mode, and I do mean that it includes a bunch of physical symptoms. I've got a mental block in place so I can't go there without really pushing. It feels violating and life-threatening and I think the reason is because I can't imagine that scenario without it being rape. I don't trust men to care about what I want. Or maybe it's not even about the guy. I just don't trust IT to matter what I want in that scenario. It's compulsory.
Also about genital repulsion going away when you're really in love with someone 1:20:50, lol yeah no, not for us aces.
I enjoyed this SO MUCH! Such good energy. Thanks for giving me more to think about, as usual. I am definitely going to have to listen to this one again!
This was such a good conversation!! Whenever i wanna talk about comp het i can come back here and get my life
Also nic you cracked the code… all the tiktoks “i don’t know when a girl is flirting with me” is because all the gay movies start in the middle of the relationship!
❤️❤️❤️