A few problems: You need a copy editor. Sometimes you repeat the previous paragraph word-for-word. A little later you present a bit on its agriculture, but then REPEAT IT! (e. g., "wheat, barley, & flax.") Your whole discussion around Hapi needs to be reworked -- you repeat. Someone else mentioned the sound issues. Oh, by the way, Egyptians did NOT "domesticate sheep for clothing." Umm... It's EGYPT! They frequently worked naked because of the heat. Women wore as little as possible -- particularly the elite. Were there sheep? Yes, the thousands of rams head sphinxes attest to that. However, lamb was not on the menu. There was really just a few kept around for religious reasons. The site has great potential! The visuals are excellent & the concepts important. I want you to succeed. Just pay a little more attention to repetition.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Lovely
Nice video narration good, but volume fluctuate
A few problems:
You need a copy editor. Sometimes you repeat the previous paragraph word-for-word. A little later you present a bit on its agriculture, but then REPEAT IT! (e. g., "wheat, barley, & flax.") Your whole discussion around Hapi needs to be reworked -- you repeat.
Someone else mentioned the sound issues.
Oh, by the way, Egyptians did NOT "domesticate sheep for clothing." Umm... It's EGYPT! They frequently worked naked because of the heat. Women wore as little as possible -- particularly the elite.
Were there sheep? Yes, the thousands of rams head sphinxes attest to that. However, lamb was not on the menu. There was really just a few kept around for religious reasons.
The site has great potential! The visuals are excellent & the concepts important. I want you to succeed. Just pay a little more attention to repetition.