Year of 2019: 17 overdoses 2 DUIs 6 totaled cars 3 arrests Placed on probation Lost everything, including my mother to cancer. After 12 years of heroin addiction, on May 27,2020 I found the gift of desperation. Almost 10 months clean thanks to God and the program. 💙🙏🏻💪🏻
17 od's . Holy shit dude. I'm been using for close to ten years, but I'm smoking as never could do the injecting. Tried but thankfully never got it right so smoked rather than waste it. Probably safer as well. Good luck.
Lmfao yeah “God” decided to torture yoy for 12 years for some grand lesson I imagine? Fuck god, deal with your problems yourself instead of creating another junkie scapegoat for being a pos
@@johnandrews9433 you are the most ignorant, unintelligent commenter I’ve ever come across. Once someone you love is affected by this disease maybe you’ll understand.
Does it always, though? I was a happy, fortunate college graduate. Satisfied with life. I tried pills and just thought "Wow, this feels absolutely amazing. I want to feel like this all the time." Not because I was feeling bad before, but because the high is just an amazing feeling. Simple as that.
I'm 7 years clean from Herion. It's hard to do but my life is worth it. If you're struggling from addiction just now you're not alone and there is help out there. I did it all on my own with no medication I set up for 4 days staring in a mirror screaming at myself telling myself I will no longer be addicted to this drug it took a lot of willpower and a lot of sleepless nights but I got through it.
How long did you use for? IV? How long until the anhedonia and depression and the lack of will to get up out of bed in the morning last? I want to be where you are.
Good for you for being the strong willed person you are and always will be may God always always be with you 🙏🙏 Stay safe and healthy in this crazzzy world we live in 🙃
😯 Ok, Tiffany, that's "HERION". Congratulations. Now, how're you doing with HEROIN? P.S. why are you Capitalizing it? Freud would have a few things to say about that, none of them really important. After all, it could've been just a "slip". Freudian, for sure. . 😉
This is powerful!! I am an opiate/ herion addict I’ve been clean for nearly a year now this video makes me wanna speak up about my story and save lives!! I’m so glad I randomly came across this on RUclips tonight!!
I relapsed last summer for the 20th time! 15 years on and off. Just finished my last gram bag and snapped all my works. Tomorrow will be day one sober... I pray I can stay clean and for good this time
@@bazjr86 I’ve been there myself many times. If you really want to be clean you can do it. I recommend getting into a program having support is key to successfully staying clean. I quit cold turkey and went 3 months without herion no support nothing. Then I got sexually assaulted and had a relapse soon after. I remember doing that gram and then finding myself puking my guts out. I wanted to be clean but I realized at that moment I couldn’t do it alone. Reach out I pray you can find the joy and peace I have found ❤️
I was born and raised in Vermont. I'm now a mental health therapist in south Florida. It's literally the rehab capital. The people who need treatment the most, cannot afford it. A lot of the treatment centers here are just in it for the money, or are not providing quality care. If you're lucky enough to have insurance, 21-28 days, is not enough. People need quality, long-term and wrap around care. People need mental health care, family support and community support. This is truly a pandemic and what I feel is the most pressing crisis in our country. As it affects every single person in America, be it directly or indirectly. Thank you for making this documentary and for the work you continue to do!
@@venncreativemedia yup this is me right now. So addicted that its getting in the way of my life. Im fucking up. And I don't want it to be like that..... But I don't wanna stop using. This might sound confusing but this is the best way i can say this.. I want to be able to want to fight this. But I just don't want to fight it. I want to not want to use. But instead I keep wanting to get high smh. It's like I'm in love with H
@@dannyboy4929 no way Jose! It's just got you fooled. It's gaslighting you. It's taught you to gaslight yourself. You've got this!! It will never be easy, but neither will staying sick. I promise it's worth it.
@@dannyboy4929 God willing you will one day get tired of the life... Its hard, i know, i still struggle myself. Just be safe man, its dangerous out there....
When I first started I was taking 24 mg of suboxone. Now I take 2 mg. That drug in a wonder drug. I’m not even playing. It’s hard to get off of everything but slowly I am. I am proud of myself
I loved your text!!! Like you, I was on suboxone..when I WAS READY my MAT R.N./MD started a slow titration..finally deciding to quit it entirely was scary but I did it!!! Did I have some withdrawal? The physiological withdrawal was minimal but the psychological withdrawal was much more difficult..I had no natural endorphins so it took time to rebuild them..however, I had the tools/support of my fellow N.A. comrades to help me get through it-I wish u nothing but success-if I can do it I know u can do it-hang tight…life gets real but is oh, so worth it!!!!
If you are an addict and you feel like no one understands or cares and your will to live is gone- please just know that you matter. Your life matters. I don’t care what you have done at your lowest moment no matter how horrible you think it is, I don’t care if drugs have taken your teeth or left you with scars- you matter. Your life matters. Someone is rooting for you. I want you to succeed. I want you to stop being sick. Please don’t give up, it’s never too late unless you are dead.
@@LightoftheWest7 , I believe it may be. If I may pls ask you one question though... if no part of you cares, why did you watch this show? I'm just curious. And I'm an addict too so no judgment here.
I care about other addicts and their stories. But It doesn’t make a difference for my recovery unfortunately, however appreciated that is and grateful I am.
When I was 22, I made friends with some alcoholics. Ended up going to some of the meetings. I had 100% chance to be alcoholic because of my father. Listening to their experiences marked my life. I will always be thankful. SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE, THERE IS ALWAYS THE CHANCE SOMEBODY IS LISTENING.
I've got almost 11 years clean from a fentanyl addiction. So many of us have started for the reason that it makes everything feel ok for the time. Then addiction, and the hell a person lives before hitting your bottom.. It truly was living a daily hell. Eventually I had no choice, and I started the methadone program. I was at a time of my life that I had to change. I used the program how it was meant to be, and it changed my life! If you're an addict, and if you really want it there's something out there that can help you.. Ask for help, stay strong, stay the course. If you really want it, It will happen.. PEACE!!
12 days clean Thankful to be alive After everyone I have lost to this disease I never thought I would be a herion addict bit I am. Sending love n hope to anyone struggling right now.
In recovery the most important thing is radical acceptance. You have to accept your past and live for your future 1 day at a time . I went in to detox on 12 th November 2020 and I am nearly 4 months clean . I am so thankful and take things 1 day at a time . Onwards and upwards.Keep the faith.
A country ruined by a drug,excuses for taking it,it's dumb,don't ruin your career,takes money,and changes your appearance,Rob money instead of working for it,the consequences should be a deterrent,but your suicidal,so why not try it,how do you beat the addiction once your hooked🚩❌💉✝️💊🏳️🌈
Born in concord NH live in NYC now. Got addicted to opiates for the first time when I was 14. Shot heroin for about 5 years and one day I took a large dose of psilocybin mushrooms and had what I’ll just call a powerful experience. Haven’t shot dope in almost seven years now. I know that’s not how it happens for everyone and not saying everyone should go try that just sharing an uncommon anecdotal testimony.
The sad reality is that there is NO ONE SINGLE CAUSE for drug addiction! When I was growing up, here are some of the reasons my buddies gave for starting to do Heroin: Broken family, no father in the house, Sexual abuse, Physical abuse, Emotional Abuse, Neglected as a child, Abandonment issues, Poverty, Hopelessness, Lonely, Can't get a girlfriend Boredom, … and the list goes ON and ON!!!
I’m really moved by this🙏🏻I lost my oldest brother and sister to addiction!I said never me but I was so wrong 🥺I had a car crash and was put on 50 micro grams patch!!I was like this for two years!!Today I’m 8 years clean from them anyways…But I still struggle all I think about are my siblings and the good lord gives me a new day everyday 🙏🏻🙏🏻..I pray for the young so sad🥺
I’m a 39 year old woman from Britain my story is same as all of these brave people I’ve been hooked on 1 drug or another since I was 17 years old I’ve been on a methadone programme since I was 21 I’ve lost my kids I’ve started again and I’m still on methadone, it becomes so scary to come off of I’m scared 2 lose all that I have again and last year my little brother who was 36 died enough is enough how fucking painful but has made me so damn determined that has made me I started coming down 1 ml of methadone per week I’m now at my 30mls mark I have 6months 2 go I never thought was ever possible so to any1 in same boat don’t give up it seems so far off and scary keep going you will smash it 🙏🏻❤️😘
DRUGS, where do I Begin? Started pain pills after being stabbed in 94. It just grew from there. I'm 48now, Been on methadone for along time. Just lost my sister 2 weeks ago, from dope... Rip MELANIE SCHULTZ, from Detroit. Great video.
My condolences 🙏. Glad to hear, from one that chooses life. Like I did. Many of my family and friends are no longer with us. Stay strong and remember all the good times. As my uncle used to say, to me. Live long and prosper 🖖
Same here. Started when I was 16. I'm 43 now and on methadone maintenance again. Sorry for your loss. Hope you are ok. Stay strong. I've not used any gear for 18 months now. Piled on the weight though.
@@matthewjdouglas6471 having a really hard time. My twin brother gut shot right next to me in 89.1st major loss quickly became an alcoholic. I too shot and killed a man on the next block over basically for nothing. Luckily his family came to court on my behalf. They charged me as an adult. I only got 5yrs probation for involuntary manslaughter,but got 2yrs for felony firearm, plus 5yers for discharge of a firearm into a occupied dwelling. Served little less than 4.while I was in prison my 2nd bother died of leukemia. After being sit a few times and fracturing my neck doing gymnastics they tossed me on all kinds of pain meds from 160mg Ms contin 4 daily with Soma compond 4 daily and Xanax 2mg 3 times daily. Never took them, because I was so much into drinking. Every time I drink I get wasted and do retarded shit. So when my old lady got pregnant. I told myself I would stop drinking. Then all that pain started kicking in. It crippled me then I started eating my pills it didn't take long for addiction set in. 2008 my mom died. 2weeks later my dad died. Then it was just me and my sister. Well you know the rest. I have a severe Devi's degrees of agoraphobia. Where it's hard to come out of the house at times. Anyway, try to get into a small support group. Something that works for you. God bless my friend hopefully thing will get better for the both of ours , and the hundreds of thousands of addicts out there. God bless 🙏
@@dutchschultz3076 hey bruh. I'm from Detroit too. Born and raised. I was on dope for a while when i was 18 and 19 then I stopped. But then I got shot in a drive by shooting and was on morphine... Started abusing those and then a few months later i got stabbed. Then a year later I got shot in the chest right in my front yard. That bullet wasn't even ment for me. These 2 groups of fools was shootin back and forth at eachother. My nephews and a neighbor boy was outside playing. Bullets flying past them.. I ran to them so fast. I grabbed my nephews and threw them on the side of my car for cover. As i was running to the neighbor kid a bullet hit me in the chest... And i still managed to some how grab that kid. Get him to the side of my car... And boom I collapsed on the ground thought fasho this is it im dead. My mom pulled up by chance at that time and her and my big sis kept pressure on my chest till the ambulance got there. I was on norcos then morphine and then I went back to heroin... My dad and and best friend both died in my arms and I got severe ptsd. So I feel like I can't quit using dogg. Smh lifes fucked sometimes
The saddest part about my city is, no one wanted to recognize the real issue... no one wanted to speak up until it was a politicians son.... and yet after the little bit of broadcast nothing was done. WE NEED MORE FACILITIES, WE NEED HELP. I’m still trying to get funding for more facilities here in our city. The stigma that revolves around addiction is still so unreal. Mental health is real... you can not fix one without the other.
Those arrests may save some lives, and that's great if they do. But they should not permanently scar a person's record and greatly limit their future with a felony, especially for a simple vusca. Addiction is a disease and punishing it with a felony is not treating it as a disease.
If you commit crime you have a criminal record, why should we give some people some privileges and exemptions because of their bad life choice? Which was a criminal activity in the first place. Crime affects other people and society in general, there should be consequences for that. If using drugs doesn't lead to major consequences and punishment then why stop using?
@@lrn_news9171 Why? How about, “BECAUSE IT’S NOT A CRIME”?? There was a time when heroin was advertised and sold in most better drugstores in the country. There also was a time when slavery was legal in the country. You see, evolution is not only biological but also social and historical. With time, our ways of coping and understanding change too. And with them so do our concepts of “Right and Wrong “, of “Justice” itself. So, no, an addict is not a criminal. Never will be.
@@siouxgirl2703 I can't believe that a reasonably normal, thinking person wrote that! What I said was that drug addiction in and of itself is NOT a " crime". Now, OF COURSE, if a drug addict rapes a girl he should be prosecuted for THAT CRIME But NOT for being an addict. Get the difference? If a baseball player rapes a girl, should we prosecute him for being a baseball player first and then for the crime of rape, second???
Thank you so VERY much for making this available to watch here on RUclips and for sharing the story. I'm in recovery and it's nothing to sneeze at. It takes A LOT OF work and consistency, honesty and accountability etc... But it's SO worth it.
@@McCookieParty thank you for sharing, we're happy to see it getting a lot of attention now on RUclips, hopefully we can increase subscribers to the channel and release more content down the road
You on methadone if you are get it gone quickly I've been dumped on methadone since I was 22 I'm 53 now and still on 80 mills I've dropped from 120 mills to 80 my self there is no drug rehabilitation centers were I live they just park you up and ring you now and then
My brother and I both overdosed on fentanyl laced heroin and I survived but he didn't. I thank God for four years in recovery and I hope he is proud of me but most of all I hope he has finally found the peace that eluded him in life.. RIP CHRIS 8/4/1972-9/9/2018
Im still afflicted and if I took a lie detector test saying I've had enough I'm giving up today, I'd pass with flying colours. Put drugs in front of me and that sincere feeling of being done, goes in a heartbeat. That is just one example of powerless
Addicts struggle with being honest. Raw honesty; I'm in active addiction and while watching this im going back and forth calling the dope man impatiently waiting for a fix. How insane it is that I'm choked up with the stories of success, feeling proud & genuine admiration for those who area working a program but I don't see it in my future let alone the here and now. 🤔
Thanks for your honesty... I hope you find the strength to see sobriety in your future, sounds like you might have just made a first step in that direction, I hope you continue on the path to recovery.
I'm begging you..My daughter died,heroin,10 years ago..Many rehabs,people that loved her,etc..She was ashamed & always willing to go..Many of the people I have stayed in contact with ,from her rehabs,have done very well with suboxone..I can't know & it's too late for us,but I think it would have made a huge difference.A life or death difference.Everybody has at least one person that would be devastated if they were gone..You are so worth it..I don't know you,but know you have a stranger hoping you don't put it off before it's too late.Sorry for rambling on & being dramatic,but it's a rare find to see a heroin addict that hits old age..
We have to stop pointing the finger at one substance (fentanyl) as the problem. The real problem is the plethora of pharmaceutical company’s in US that have no cap on the amount of drugs they pump out, and we need a high amount of education presented to the youth. Every single documentary I’ve ever watched about addiction never talk about the real problem. They just blame the drugs and how strong they are.
You are so correct the strength etc does not matter its the core off the problem that needs looked at alcohol is legal .cigarettes are legal .so is sugar .As long as humans have been on this planet there are people who will always seek escape .imagine tommoroe if gaming was banned because off the violence .id imagine we would see another epidemic off drug users .and this is the way the world will stay .I'm off the legalise all drugs you just need to look at the few country's who have done it .Portugal is one off the best examples off street addicts becoming .responsible addicts and many becoming functioning addicts because they dnt want to stop .they did when they where getting absences and nearly dying every other week .because they didn't know what they where taking .life is for living I certainly like laughing crying listening to music all with other feelings that are stripped from you .unfortunately some people want to cut some off this out .others just like the feeling of being high what ever substance it is .we are coming at itfrom the wrong angle direction .I hope you understand the thing I'm trying to get over as I'm not to good at it ,but I agree with you're opinion I also think to many people dnt want to hear this .big,p especially
Drug addiction is a generational disease. Families often have past drug use in them and choose to hide it rather than warn their children. Open dialogue about drug abuse is a must.
Thank you for watching! Congratulations on your recovery! Canada is addressing the opioid issue much better than the US, recently my friend Corey's company has been making headlines there, check it out... globalnews.ca/video/7676699/ottawa-funds-opioid-dispensing-machines?fbclid=IwAR0-W3la1buEeKwKmovVBwfMuJZz7IYxcTPTOM31OL_NcbcK-IFnrMmoVxc Also, if you haven't read the books Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari or Fighting for Space by Travis Lupick, I highly recommend them!
I watch these as I go through withdraw (like I am now, almost 48hr no opiates) its tough. I'm sick. Aches, shivers, intense back pain, restless legs. This is my third time detoxing and I don't know why I keep putting myself through this. But these videos help me get off of the pain pills. I can say that I've never tried heroin. I refuse. But opiates are opiates no matter what. My heart is with everyone else dealing with this right now.
Need a documentary on alcohol soon, I think I might get called a naive person out here to say this and might be uncomfortable to digest but , well this socially acceptable drink we're always comfortable with has never got the attention that was needed - alcohol is a drug and it kills. Just because it works fine in the short term, its high time to be honest with alcohol and what damage it does to society.
When that man told the story of his son who got the tumor and the treatment his son recieved then said " we continue to fail" when talking about addiction treatment its not that we continue to fail we are figuring out the ways to do things. This sets a solid foundation for figuring out the correct ways to conquer addiction.
Never did drugs. I don't have to because my life is good. I refuse to hide out in a drug induced state due to anything. Im built different. Shout out to everyone that never did drugs.
All of these people in this documentary are very brave souls. We need more of this right now. Granted, they all used drugs in the past, but who among us have not made mistakes? They took back control of their lives and pushed through the addiction. That says a lot about their character. I've never used heroin and have no idea what it feels like, but I would welcome any of these people in my home. I'm so glad to see many of them dedicating their lives to helping others. I wish them all great success and also I wish them the best for living their future away from drugs. Great going guys and gals, and welcome back from death's door. You are all heroes!
Using drugs should not be seen as a bad thing. Addiction doesn't come from the things the drugs make you feel, it comes from the feelings you're trying to escape by getting high.
I'm quitting smoking as of watching this, it's difficult. However, what these people have gone through and may have or not done in their lives i have the upper most respect for each and every single individual. Can we normalize talking about addiction? Wether it's a smoking addiction, heroin, cocaine or any kind of addiction for that matter? Thank you for this incredibly informative film! Amazing job .
I've seen folks get clean in their 30s and relapse in retirement It never gos away we are never recovered we can only arrest it I had 12 years clean relapsed was clean 3.5 relapsed again got on pg I am 45 have a 30 year history with heroin . I have had healthy decades and years where I was free but there is no beating it
The root cause of all addictions is the feeling of unworthiness. An addict is a person who deals with heavy feelings of unworthiness and this leads to not only the need to numb out their pain, but also to punish themselves for not being enough. Shadow work is key to getting over it.
when people die from this, 90% of the time mixed with coke (speed balls) or other pills like Xanax. I know most people in this film and am a few years younger than Eric Spoffard. We grew up in the same town I knew about him and I ended up staying in his program years later living at the Granet House. I didn’t finish but the people I was in the house with we’re the best. Then 4 died in the same month. We lost 4 people I was with in the house. I lived with very good friends. We lived, cooked, slept, watched TV together and learned how to manage our lives together. The things I have been through in this short life, watching this makes me think about A Lot! If you really want to live a sober life you have to work a program! It’s a fact at this point but it’s so easy to lose track of that program your working. It’s all on the addict. Good luck all my local heroin addicts if you leave your program be safe. ✌️❤️
My addiction made me realize I feel sorry for myself. It's all about me, me, me. This is what humans need to realize. Quit feeling sorry for yourselves. There is no purpose in life of altering your mind with any substance in this planet
Maybe when we all stop trying to do everything alone and have a believe that theres something bigger out there than us that can fill that hole we were all born with! We have to help each other instead of relaying on the drugs to take our pain away!
Such a strong documentary.. I hope someone looking this realise that’s wrong and they will look for help... people deserve a better life...❤️ love from uk 🇬🇧
ive been in pain management for years. i became dependent on one pill and i didnt like the way it made me feel so i decided to wean myself off of it. i spread out taking them until it was one every 4 days and then i thought i could just stop. bad move.....i have never been so sick in my life. i actually prayed to die that week. never go cold turkey when you are alone, that can kill you
I turned 40 last week. 20 years of iv heroin and fentynl addiction now and running. Molested from ages 4-6 constantly. Sexual abuse accounts for 95%+ of iv drug users. Trauma is why people self medicate. We're not "getting high" we are "self medicating away extreme anxiety depression and PTSD".
@@carolv2161 Hi beautiful Carol I hope you are doing okay. I'm in the middle of a crazy cold snow blizzard in Detroit- I'm so over winter lol 🥶🥶🥶 It's amazing at how few people know or understand the extreme coralation between trauma and drug/alcohol consumption....but thanks to channels like this one and SWU and people like you and I in the comments are making that gap much smaller. Much love, be easy girl ❤️
@@DetroitFettyghost Aww I just love you honey- I love US. Some of the BEST humans I know are addicts because we know what’s it’s like to be down and out and just tryin to survive on a minute by minute basis! hugs! 🤗 💕
Hey T! I agree, I've been through the same. Have severe PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc and we were self medicating. Hru? I hope things are getting better for you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
I have spent my Saturday afternoon watching this, & for today at least, it has served me well. Thanks for that. Shout to everyone. . . You are a person first, someone's father, mother, sister, brother, etc. . . You are just as much a part of society as anyone else. . . Every day is a new day, the past doesn't have to define your future. . . You are not a bad person. . . Nothing lasts for ever. . . Things can change, as this film proves. . . Just a thought!
Well said! Thank you, so glad you watched the film and as you said, it served you well. It's easy for people to look at someone they don't know struggling with addiction and shrug them off... however, when it's someone you know, it changes things. I hope more people see this documentary the same way you did. Thank you.
Addiction is a everyday struggle that never goes away ,never give up and keep fighting the good fight as will I , everyone falls down it's how u get up is what matters ..never judge a man until u walked a mile in his shoes ...🙏💙
Thank you so much it means the world to me coming from you And I just want to say alittle prayer for the The people who are still sick and suffering and don't see a way out There is light at the end of the tunnel maybe don't c it now, ask your higher power to come into your heart and oh he will and help you alot you're never hopeless and when you're ready and tired you'll know
As long as the drugs are fludding the streets of America with drugs, the problem with never go away. All we can is continue to help the ones who want help. I wanted help, 6 years Clean after 20 years off addiction. I'm a Contractor now, I have a wife , all 4 of my kids and I feel good everyday physically and mentally. Only thing I wish is that I never ever picked the shit up in the first place. Waisted all my youth . But I never thought I'd make it out alive, my Dad didn't and and so many others. But I am so thankful to be here today with my wife and Childeren. It's Amazing what you do for these people in need of your help brother. Thanks for Sharing your story and what you have and do the days .God bless
I first took heroin when I just turned 16 years old. I'm now 42 and I've only had about 100 days were I didn't use. For some users it's harder to quit than other. Some people can stop others can't stop.
This is so sad but yet so powerful… I lived in New Hampshire for 5 years and I loved it there, made a lot of friends I’m still in touch with to this day but also lost some good friends to heroine… I really wished that never happened…
I'm a active heroin addict, In fact i just took my heroin hit just before I watch this video, I'd feel very ashame saying that😔, but if one day if I'm able to get clean and free from my heroin addiction and get sober like normal person, that day will be my greatest day of my life. Please don't hate me😓😔
Thanks for sharing your story, no one hates you. If you're serious about getting free from your addiction, go to a meeting and try to get into treatment.
You got the most important thing right about getting sober and that is being 100% brutally, cash register honest and that's what I struggled the most with so you were already ahead of me and I now have 7 years clean and sober and I had been using for 25 plus years. I didn't think I'd ever get sober and I used to get high, shoot up speed balls and watch intervention so what you're doing is actually quite common. Do not get down on yourself just know that you are preparing yourself for the right direction and the right decisions and it is very hard. Always keep in your mind though that the longer you wait the less likely it is that you'll be alive to even attempt to get sober. It's not the heroin we were doing today it is fentanyl and xylazine tranquilizers that people mix with Xanax which is a dangerous combination. Please do not mix Xanax and heroin or fentanyl you can pretty much guarantee you're going to die. Just give yourself the gift of hitting bottom and when you do get your ass moving. I hit multiple bottoms and kept going, know that it is a waste of time to do so, one bottom will sustain you for a lifetime, if nobody told you today I love you and I believe in you and you can do this!
We should be showing these types of documentaries to our children in school, 6th graders and up, young enough that they have not been offered drugs yet old enough to understand.
In my experience it's not how much or how often you use or even what your using But what your willing to do to get your drug that is the true mark of addiction.
Street corners have a drug dealer,usually starts like that,your future requires you to save money,but your drug use is sabotaging that,a national disgrace and crisis,the drug could be a concoction disguised,deceptive methods used to sell a dose,could be a mixture of anything,you don't know till the substance is tested,I hope it gets the government's attention,make sure you deal with it,prevention may be the cure,pay for it with lives lost,withdrawal systems are horrid,it's tricky to go cold turkey,your family desserts you,each generations fails to succeed,a serious subject to deal with,it ain't no joke,support the habit burdens society,pretty weird way to live a life,a zombie existence,have you seen Kensington,delusional lifestyle,and you chose it unknowingly,it's a cop out,you should know about the consequences,so why risk it💉❌🚩💲💥💊🏳️🌈✔️
Someone in an N.A. meeting said something that made me think, she said “if there was a cure for pain both physical and emotional it would go a long way towards stopping drug addiction”.
@@countrygirlcopenhagen5095 Almost all do but based on my own experience and some comments I’ve read it’s not “all or nothing”. I think for the rare ones that didn’t have any childhood trauma, they felt disconnected and alone for whatever reason. I am one such example. It’s as though I was born an alcoholic and had childhood depression. Thanks for the reply.
I'm Ah Heroin Addict Myself From Athens Ga, I Chase The Dragon,I Pray 1 Day I'll Get Clean, Some Days Are Better Than Others , Heroin Is The Devil 👿 Only GOD Can & Will Defeat It. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
heroin addiction is something you will live with for the rest of your life whether your clean or not I started down this road in 1994 I was 22 years old I've been clean since 2011 but still feel a addict
I started using in 1975 by 78 i was a daily heroin injecter I have been clean and sober for three years now. i know the danger lurks around every corner everyday. you cant do it by yourself.
Wowwww....I commented somewhere below that my suboxone doctor recommended the book Chasing the Scream - did not expect to see the author! Great book, everyone should read it!
I been in sobriety for about 4 years the first couple of months were hard but I would relapse than get mad at myself so now I know I can’t relapse because I wanna make my family proud of me. Also my counselor and my Dr. I wanna show them that I can be my regular self. I am still ashamed of all the stuff I did.
Omg, that sucked. I knew from when they started playing Daniel's recordings that he was gonna end up dying but it still broke me. Someone's gonna be waking up in the morning with slits for eyes 😢
Here's a thought- we all went to the same keg parties in High School, we all drank the same beer and smoked the same weed. Yet not all of us became addicts..... WHY !?! We may never know the answer to this. But we do know that if we could have prevented it from happening we would have done so. The judgement and negative attitudes towards addicts is so sickening. I don't know how you can judge me for being the unfortunate one who was the one who became addicted, when you did not. You should only be so lucky to sit there and be free from the chains that bound us to the hell of addiction. None of us asked for this. No matter how it happened, it happened and when that day comes and you realize that you no longer pull the strings and control your own life. I pray that you find your way and get sober and have the strength to do so. I do not wish addiction upon anyone, but yet if they only knew what it really was like then we would have so many more facilities and the help that is needed to keep people sober. It's not about punishment I'll tell you that much. It's about fixing whats been broken for many years and taking lessons from the forward thinking countries like Switzerland and Portugal who have been living proof that love heals a country and fuels and economy like no other attempts have so far. AICTWC ODAAT ✌💜🙃🙏
I'm start with H, i have 15year, with 25 i go too metadhone maitnance. I'm 47 now and i'm still on metadhon i can't stop, going on 2,5 ml. that is 5 pills per 5mg and before i turn out i'am again in 20ml that 40 pills per 5mg-200mg, and there's a vallium, pregabalin, hashish and booze. I don't know what too doo, i'm from Croatia and here we get free help but it's a 31 day, no matter witch dose are you, sorry for my spelling.
All this compassion, but everyone's overlooking a real way to improve everyone's life really quick and cheap. The problem for drug addicts Is not drugs, but the lack of drugs and the inconsistency of the drugs they're using. Providing regulated drugs to addicts at little or no cost would cut the associated crime rate by 90% and the overdose rate by a lot. It's not a silver bullet but it's the only option as far as this active addict of 31 years is concerned.
I kick myself in frustration at the amount of hard work i put into getting clean to just through it all away at the last hurdle. Heroin, pills whatever opiates you use they all cause the same miserable existence in the end
I was an opiate addict for the better part of a decade. It was pills then heroin, snorting then IV. In 2019 I was sent to prison for drug related charges, my first kid was born while I was incarcerated. I've been clean since I was in prison. I've become a father to him, have a good job, house, a real life. Getting off these drugs can be done. It usually takes some drastic steps but ANYONE can do it. Keep your heads up.
I hate when people say "i went through withdrawals for 3 days" .. if you went through heroin withdrawals... It's not fucking 3 days. It's MINIMUM 7 days of intense withdrawals and then WEEKS off no sleep, restlessness, anxiety, etc. So her story of going through withdrawals for 3 days and then calling the officer to say thank you... Total BS.
She wasn't shooting heroin so maybe the withdrawals were less... however, it's her story, her experience.... yours was different, no need to trash her story just because it didn't mimic yours.
Interesting that you know how EVERY withdrawal goes without even knowing the person’s biochemistry or even their dosage. Your attitude is a detriment to all of this.
I agree I snorted for years never used needles and im in Manchester NH btw the city in this doc were all the hood footage is from withdrawal lasts forever unless u have only been using for a few days to a few weeks
2 years clean 11 years a addict the day i chose death but life chose me i couldn't deny a spiritual world that i experienced while gone without help gasped back and laid dope sick for a month nvr looked back the voices telling me to use was silent for the first time in a decade god is good
Michelle you speak the total truth.2018 was the worst year of my life.2 children addicted. My son literally shut himself in a room and gave up.A pile of phone numbers for recovery centers on the nightstand.Unless you had money and good insurance you were screwed. Longgggg story shirt NH in 2018 was bulllllshit! My son is serving 2 yrs in prison for conspiracy due 2 an undercover sting.Mind you he had been arrested twice before for drugs. You see the DEA caredmore about their case than my son's life!! Even the judge from Maine said NH has their heads up their asses and that if they had put my son in jail he probably wouldn't have ended up where he is now. I commend all these individuals that made this documentary!!!!! My children are clean and in recovery. I'll see my son in 1 yr. Praying for anyone that is sick and addicted.My son went to the Nashua fire Station.They saved his life!!!!!!
@Nosha Dean I'm sorry that's just not a true statement. CAN people find truth and healing though Jesus? Yes. absolutely. And I applaud the people who do. But please don't discount the people who have other ways. Christ does not have a monopoly on spirituality.
18 years since the last time I did heroin. Now I work at a treatment center. You can do it!!!! Put everything you've got into it and surrender to a good program. Just stop trying to be tough and do whatever you're told and good things will come from it!
I've been struggling 2 years with this .. keep screwing up every couple of weeks but b4 it was all day everyday ..not excusing myself or say I'm doing good but I am doing sooo much better
I love this documentary!!! I’ve been an addict for 20 years. I’ve been on subutex, it didn’t work well for me so I switched to methadone. I haven’t used anything else in 4 years! What really breaks my heart is the judgement because I’m on methadone and not being considered “clean.” I’m so proud of myself but the judgement from others really hurts!!!😢😢😢
Year of 2019:
17 overdoses
2 DUIs
6 totaled cars
3 arrests
Placed on probation
Lost everything, including my mother to cancer.
After 12 years of heroin addiction, on May 27,2020 I found the gift of desperation.
Almost 10 months clean thanks to God and the program. 💙🙏🏻💪🏻
Congratulations on 10 months, keep it up, life is amazing!
17 od's . Holy shit dude. I'm been using for close to ten years, but I'm smoking as never could do the injecting. Tried but thankfully never got it right so smoked rather than waste it. Probably safer as well. Good luck.
You don't LOSE anything....as drug addicts we GIVE IT AWAY...
Lmfao yeah “God” decided to torture yoy for 12 years for some grand lesson I imagine? Fuck god, deal with your problems yourself instead of creating another junkie scapegoat for being a pos
@@johnandrews9433 you are the most ignorant, unintelligent commenter I’ve ever come across. Once someone you love is affected by this disease maybe you’ll understand.
Addiction stems from pain and living without purpose. It’s so much more then a physical addiction.
Does it always, though? I was a happy, fortunate college graduate. Satisfied with life. I tried pills and just thought "Wow, this feels absolutely amazing. I want to feel like this all the time." Not because I was feeling bad before, but because the high is just an amazing feeling. Simple as that.
Very much true
@@LightoftheWest7
too true...much to learn.
it's 3D 👊🌹
Than buddy not then.
@soul faith I'm happy Christ works for you but Christ has no effect on me or any of my issues.
I'm 7 years clean from Herion. It's hard to do but my life is worth it. If you're struggling from addiction just now you're not alone and there is help out there. I did it all on my own with no medication I set up for 4 days staring in a mirror screaming at myself telling myself I will no longer be addicted to this drug it took a lot of willpower and a lot of sleepless nights but I got through it.
Amazing story! Congratulations and so happy to hear of your recovery! Thank you for sharing your story, I hope it helps to inspire others!
How long did you use for? IV?
How long until the anhedonia and depression and the lack of will to get up out of bed in the morning last?
I want to be where you are.
Good for you for being the strong willed person you are and always will be may God always always be with you 🙏🙏
Stay safe and healthy in this crazzzy world we live in 🙃
😯
Ok, Tiffany, that's "HERION". Congratulations.
Now, how're you doing with HEROIN?
P.S. why are you Capitalizing it? Freud would have a few things to say about that, none of them really important. After all, it could've been just a "slip". Freudian, for sure. .
😉
That’s tremendous, Tiffany!! You are one strong woman!!
This is powerful!! I am an opiate/ herion addict I’ve been clean for nearly a year now this video makes me wanna speak up about my story and save lives!! I’m so glad I randomly came across this on RUclips tonight!!
Congratulations on your sobriety! Thanks for watching the film, I'm glad you stumbled across it on RUclips!
Stay strong 💪
I relapsed last summer for the 20th time! 15 years on and off. Just finished my last gram bag and snapped all my works. Tomorrow will be day one sober... I pray I can stay clean and for good this time
@@bazjr86 I’ve been there myself many times. If you really want to be clean you can do it. I recommend getting into a program having support is key to successfully staying clean. I quit cold turkey and went 3 months without herion no support nothing. Then I got sexually assaulted and had a relapse soon after. I remember doing that gram and then finding myself puking my guts out. I wanted to be clean but I realized at that moment I couldn’t do it alone. Reach out I pray you can find the joy and peace I have found ❤️
@@venncreativemedia I was literally in tears watching this ❤️❤️❤️
I’m praying for all who are battling this disease and I am so proud of everyone who is in recovery. You all are amazing! 🙏🏻🙌💜
Ll
I was born and raised in Vermont. I'm now a mental health therapist in south Florida. It's literally the rehab capital. The people who need treatment the most, cannot afford it. A lot of the treatment centers here are just in it for the money, or are not providing quality care. If you're lucky enough to have insurance, 21-28 days, is not enough. People need quality, long-term and wrap around care. People need mental health care, family support and community support. This is truly a pandemic and what I feel is the most pressing crisis in our country. As it affects every single person in America, be it directly or indirectly. Thank you for making this documentary and for the work you continue to do!
It's even worse when you see yourself turning into an addict and part of you doesn't want to fight it
Thank you for sharing your experience as hard as that is to for people to hear and understand. That’s the power of addiction.
@@venncreativemedia yup this is me right now. So addicted that its getting in the way of my life. Im fucking up. And I don't want it to be like that..... But I don't wanna stop using. This might sound confusing but this is the best way i can say this.. I want to be able to want to fight this. But I just don't want to fight it. I want to not want to use. But instead I keep wanting to get high smh. It's like I'm in love with H
@@dannyboy4929 no way Jose! It's just got you fooled. It's gaslighting you. It's taught you to gaslight yourself. You've got this!! It will never be easy, but neither will staying sick. I promise it's worth it.
@@dannyboy4929 God willing you will one day get tired of the life... Its hard, i know, i still struggle myself. Just be safe man, its dangerous out there....
@@dannyboy4929 yeah its a love, hate thing for me atleast
When I first started I was taking 24 mg of suboxone. Now I take 2 mg. That drug in a wonder drug. I’m not even playing. It’s hard to get off of everything but slowly I am. I am proud of myself
I loved your text!!! Like you, I was on suboxone..when I WAS READY my MAT R.N./MD started a slow titration..finally deciding to quit it entirely was scary but I did it!!! Did I have some withdrawal? The physiological withdrawal was minimal but the psychological withdrawal was much more difficult..I had no natural endorphins so it took time to rebuild them..however, I had the tools/support of my fellow N.A. comrades to help me get through it-I wish u nothing but success-if I can do it I know u can do it-hang tight…life gets real but is oh, so worth it!!!!
If you are an addict and you feel like no one understands or cares and your will to live is gone- please just know that you matter. Your life matters. I don’t care what you have done at your lowest moment no matter how horrible you think it is, I don’t care if drugs have taken your teeth or left you with scars- you matter. Your life matters. Someone is rooting for you. I want you to succeed. I want you to stop being sick. Please don’t give up, it’s never too late unless you are dead.
I am an addict and unfortunately, I do not care at all whether or not I'm being rooted for. I wonder if this is a common disposition?
@@LightoftheWest7 , I believe it may be. If I may pls ask you one question though... if no part of you cares, why did you watch this show? I'm just curious. And I'm an addict too so no judgment here.
I care about other addicts and their stories. But It doesn’t make a difference for my recovery unfortunately, however appreciated that is and grateful I am.
@@LightoftheWest7 , thank you for replying. By the way, I really like your name, light of the west! Pretty cool! I wish you happiness dear soul!
Thank you
I was heroin addict many many years ago. You have to be strong and have a dream to follow!
The worst part about heroin addiction is it almost always delivers and life seems to almost always fail
just reading that last part seems to make the most sense.
When I was 22, I made friends with some alcoholics. Ended up going to some of the meetings. I had 100% chance to be alcoholic because of my father. Listening to their experiences marked my life. I will always be thankful. SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCE, THERE IS ALWAYS THE CHANCE SOMEBODY IS LISTENING.
I've got almost 11 years clean from a fentanyl addiction. So many of us have started for the reason that it makes everything feel ok for the time. Then addiction, and the hell a person lives before hitting your bottom.. It truly was living a daily hell. Eventually I had no choice, and I started the methadone program. I was at a time of my life that I had to change. I used the program how it was meant to be, and it changed my life! If you're an addict, and if you really want it there's something out there that can help you.. Ask for help, stay strong, stay the course. If you really want it, It will happen.. PEACE!!
Yes, if you really want it, it will happen. Mine may not be a text book recovery, but I found a way to live and love my life.
I'm in a methodone program July 25 2021 was my last bag.🤓✌️one day at a time.
@@joefialkowski8542 and what a bag it was... ehhh...
@@NYCBG no it was crap from Philadelphia a lot of zylazine was in it.
@@joefialkowski8542 Xylazine?!? And then there was a lot of Fentanyl... Jesus Christ, man, how'd you guys survive?!
Every addict was someones baby once.
Absolutely agree with this 1000%
And they always will be someone's baby
And now they're addicts. 🤷
"The opposite of addiction, is connection."
- Johan Hari
12 days clean
Thankful to be alive
After everyone I have lost to this disease I never thought I would be a herion addict bit I am. Sending love n hope to anyone struggling right now.
Still clean ?
hope things are well and you are safe still
Keep up the good work.I know the feeling twelve days and but you got this
In recovery the most important thing is radical acceptance. You have to accept your past and live for your future 1 day at a time . I went in to detox on 12 th November 2020 and I am nearly 4 months clean . I am so thankful and take things 1 day at a time . Onwards and upwards.Keep the faith.
Congratulations on your recovery! And thank you for watching the documentary!
Relapse
Keep going, don’t stop. ❤️
A country ruined by a drug,excuses for taking it,it's dumb,don't ruin your career,takes money,and changes your appearance,Rob money instead of working for it,the consequences should be a deterrent,but your suicidal,so why not try it,how do you beat the addiction once your hooked🚩❌💉✝️💊🏳️🌈
I thank my creator everyday for letting me live through my addiction I got so lucky I’ll never go back my life is so beautiful now
I'm 43 days clean. Wound up in the psych ward taking barbiturates for withdraws and I seriously would not have wanted to get clean any other way.
Thanks for sharing your story and congratulations on your recovery!!!
@@venncreativemedia thank you!
Keep going one day at the time. Six years clean after 30 years on opioids still doing one day at the time. Stay strong 💪
Born in concord NH live in NYC now. Got addicted to opiates for the first time when I was 14. Shot heroin for about 5 years and one day I took a large dose of psilocybin mushrooms and had what I’ll just call a powerful experience. Haven’t shot dope in almost seven years now. I know that’s not how it happens for everyone and not saying everyone should go try that just sharing an uncommon anecdotal testimony.
Doesn't matter how you got clean, just matters that you got clean!
One of my friends did DMT and never used heroin again after his experience went straight cold turkey and has turned his life 180 degrees.
The sad reality is that there is NO ONE SINGLE CAUSE for drug addiction!
When I was growing up, here are some of the reasons my buddies gave for starting to do Heroin:
Broken family, no father in the house,
Sexual abuse,
Physical abuse,
Emotional Abuse,
Neglected as a child,
Abandonment issues,
Poverty,
Hopelessness,
Lonely, Can't get a girlfriend
Boredom,
… and the list goes ON and ON!!!
This film is the reason I didn't commit suicide. I appreciate you for helping me out by saving my life.
I’m really moved by this🙏🏻I lost my oldest brother and sister to addiction!I said never me but I was so wrong 🥺I had a car crash and was put on 50 micro grams patch!!I was like this for two years!!Today I’m 8 years clean from them anyways…But I still struggle all I think about are my siblings and the good lord gives me a new day everyday 🙏🏻🙏🏻..I pray for the young so sad🥺
I’m a 39 year old woman from Britain my story is same as all of these brave people I’ve been hooked on 1 drug or another since I was 17 years old I’ve been on a methadone programme since I was 21 I’ve lost my kids I’ve started again and I’m still on methadone, it becomes so scary to come off of I’m scared 2 lose all that I have again and last year my little brother who was 36 died enough is enough how fucking painful but has made me so damn determined that has made me I started coming down 1 ml of methadone per week I’m now at my 30mls mark I have 6months 2 go I never thought was ever possible so to any1 in same boat don’t give up it seems so far off and scary keep going you will smash it 🙏🏻❤️😘
DRUGS, where do I Begin? Started pain pills after being stabbed in 94. It just grew from there. I'm 48now, Been on methadone for along time. Just lost my sister 2 weeks ago, from dope... Rip MELANIE SCHULTZ, from Detroit. Great video.
My condolences 🙏. Glad to hear, from one that chooses life. Like I did. Many of my family and friends are no longer with us. Stay strong and remember all the good times. As my uncle used to say, to me.
Live long and prosper 🖖
@@petefarmer3514 back at you. Thanks...
Same here. Started when I was 16. I'm 43 now and on methadone maintenance again. Sorry for your loss. Hope you are ok. Stay strong. I've not used any gear for 18 months now. Piled on the weight though.
@@matthewjdouglas6471 having a really hard time. My twin brother gut shot right next to me in 89.1st major loss quickly became an alcoholic. I too shot and killed a man on the next block over basically for nothing. Luckily his family came to court on my behalf. They charged me as an adult. I only got 5yrs probation for involuntary manslaughter,but got 2yrs for felony firearm, plus 5yers for discharge of a firearm into a occupied dwelling. Served little less than 4.while I was in prison my 2nd bother died of leukemia. After being sit a few times and fracturing my neck doing gymnastics they tossed me on all kinds of pain meds from 160mg Ms contin 4 daily with Soma compond 4 daily and Xanax 2mg 3 times daily. Never took them, because I was so much into drinking. Every time I drink I get wasted and do retarded shit. So when my old lady got pregnant. I told myself I would stop drinking. Then all that pain started kicking in. It crippled me then I started eating my pills it didn't take long for addiction set in. 2008 my mom died. 2weeks later my dad died. Then it was just me and my sister. Well you know the rest. I have a severe Devi's degrees of agoraphobia. Where it's hard to come out of the house at times.
Anyway, try to get into a small support group. Something that works for you. God bless my friend hopefully thing will get better for the both of ours , and the hundreds of thousands of addicts out there. God bless 🙏
@@dutchschultz3076 hey bruh. I'm from Detroit too. Born and raised. I was on dope for a while when i was 18 and 19 then I stopped. But then I got shot in a drive by shooting and was on morphine... Started abusing those and then a few months later i got stabbed. Then a year later I got shot in the chest right in my front yard. That bullet wasn't even ment for me. These 2 groups of fools was shootin back and forth at eachother. My nephews and a neighbor boy was outside playing. Bullets flying past them.. I ran to them so fast. I grabbed my nephews and threw them on the side of my car for cover. As i was running to the neighbor kid a bullet hit me in the chest... And i still managed to some how grab that kid. Get him to the side of my car... And boom I collapsed on the ground thought fasho this is it im dead. My mom pulled up by chance at that time and her and my big sis kept pressure on my chest till the ambulance got there. I was on norcos then morphine and then I went back to heroin... My dad and and best friend both died in my arms and I got severe ptsd. So I feel like I can't quit using dogg. Smh lifes fucked sometimes
The saddest part about my city is, no one wanted to recognize the real issue... no one wanted to speak up until it was a politicians son.... and yet after the little bit of broadcast nothing was done. WE NEED MORE FACILITIES, WE NEED HELP. I’m still trying to get funding for more facilities here in our city. The stigma that revolves around addiction is still so unreal. Mental health is real... you can not fix one without the other.
Thats how African-Americans feel.. im right there with you
I appreciate your comment, but this is absolutely nothing to do with race.
Yes, we do...more MAT in treatment centers.
@@April.Showers. She’s drawing a parallel to another type of oppression. That’s beautiful.
@@neteruhathor Say that. How could anyone begrudge that?
I don't know who needs to hear this...i love you, you matter, demand, plea, beg for help, just please get it!
Those arrests may save some lives, and that's great if they do. But they should not permanently scar a person's record and greatly limit their future with a felony, especially for a simple vusca. Addiction is a disease and punishing it with a felony is not treating it as a disease.
If you commit crime you have a criminal record, why should we give some people some privileges and exemptions because of their bad life choice? Which was a criminal activity in the first place.
Crime affects other people and society in general, there should be consequences for that. If using drugs doesn't lead to major consequences and punishment then why stop using?
@@lrn_news9171 Why? How about, “BECAUSE IT’S NOT A CRIME”??
There was a time when heroin was advertised and sold in most better drugstores in the country.
There also was a time when slavery was legal in the country.
You see, evolution is not only biological but also social and historical.
With time, our ways of coping and understanding change too.
And with them so do our concepts of “Right and Wrong “, of “Justice” itself.
So, no, an addict is not a criminal. Never will be.
💜💜💜 So if a drug addict rapes your daughter he shouldn't do time or have a record? Where do you draw the line? Do the crime do the time.
@@siouxgirl2703 I can't believe that a reasonably normal, thinking person wrote that!
What I said was that drug addiction in and of itself is NOT a " crime".
Now, OF COURSE, if a drug addict rapes a girl he should be prosecuted for THAT CRIME But NOT for being an addict.
Get the difference?
If a baseball player rapes a girl, should we prosecute him for being a baseball player first and then for the crime of rape, second???
@@NYCBG Yours missing the point lol it went over your head
Just found this. I'll be six years Clean from all drugs this Year. Thank you so much.
Thank you for watching our film and congratulations on 6 years!
Congratulations. God bless 🙏🏽❤️
13 year heroin addiction. Trying to stop the living nightmare. I just want peace freedom and happiness
Thank you so VERY much for making this available to watch here on RUclips and for sharing the story. I'm in recovery and it's nothing to sneeze at. It takes A LOT OF work and consistency, honesty and accountability etc... But it's SO worth it.
CONGRATULATIONS on your recovery and all of your hard work! Thank YOU so much for watching my film!
@@venncreativemedia Absolutely! I have even shared it with some friends and family members. It's a powerful film.
@@McCookieParty thank you for sharing, we're happy to see it getting a lot of attention now on RUclips, hopefully we can increase subscribers to the channel and release more content down the road
You on methadone if you are get it gone quickly I've been dumped on methadone since I was 22 I'm 53 now and still on 80 mills I've dropped from 120 mills to 80 my self there is no drug rehabilitation centers were I live they just park you up and ring you now and then
Nothing to sneeze, sneeze, sneeze, sneeze at, you mean!? Hehe, you know what I'm saying...
My brother and I both overdosed on fentanyl laced heroin and I survived but he didn't. I thank God for four years in recovery and I hope he is proud of me but most of all I hope he has finally found the peace that eluded him in life..
RIP CHRIS 8/4/1972-9/9/2018
Im still afflicted and if I took a lie detector test saying I've had enough I'm giving up today, I'd pass with flying colours. Put drugs in front of me and that sincere feeling of being done, goes in a heartbeat. That is just one example of powerless
Great video. More people need to view this - I hope those who need it, do!
Thank you!
Allie, please don't forget to Subscribe, like and help spread the word!
Addicts struggle with being honest. Raw honesty; I'm in active addiction and while watching this im going back and forth calling the dope man impatiently waiting for a fix. How insane it is that I'm choked up with the stories of success, feeling proud & genuine admiration for those who area working a program but I don't see it in my future let alone the here and now. 🤔
Thanks for your honesty... I hope you find the strength to see sobriety in your future, sounds like you might have just made a first step in that direction, I hope you continue on the path to recovery.
@@venncreativemedia thank you!
Christina, its not weird AT ALL! I agree, I think you just took your first step to a beautiful new you. Go as slowly as you need to, just keep going!
I'm begging you..My daughter died,heroin,10 years ago..Many rehabs,people that loved her,etc..She was ashamed & always willing to go..Many of the people I have stayed in contact with ,from her rehabs,have done very well with suboxone..I can't know & it's too late for us,but I think it would have made a huge difference.A life or death difference.Everybody has at least one person that would be devastated if they were gone..You are so worth it..I don't know you,but know you have a stranger hoping you don't put it off before it's too late.Sorry for rambling on & being dramatic,but it's a rare find to see a heroin addict that hits old age..
same here, wondering when I will finally find the strength to STOP
We have to stop pointing the finger at one substance (fentanyl) as the problem.
The real problem is the plethora of pharmaceutical company’s in US that have no cap on the amount of drugs they pump out, and we need a high amount of education presented to the youth. Every single documentary I’ve ever watched about addiction never talk about the real problem. They just blame the drugs and how strong they are.
You are so correct the strength etc does not matter its the core off the problem that needs looked at alcohol is legal .cigarettes are legal .so is sugar .As long as humans have been on this planet there are people who will always seek escape .imagine tommoroe if gaming was banned because off the violence .id imagine we would see another epidemic off drug users .and this is the way the world will stay .I'm off the legalise all drugs you just need to look at the few country's who have done it .Portugal is one off the best examples off street addicts becoming .responsible addicts and many becoming functioning addicts because they dnt want to stop .they did when they where getting absences and nearly dying every other week .because they didn't know what they where taking .life is for living I certainly like laughing crying listening to music all with other feelings that are stripped from you .unfortunately some people want to cut some off this out .others just like the feeling of being high what ever substance it is .we are coming at itfrom the wrong angle direction .I hope you understand the thing I'm trying to get over as I'm not to good at it ,but I agree with you're opinion I also think to many people dnt want to hear this .big,p especially
Drug addiction is a generational disease.
Families often have past drug use in them and choose to hide it rather than warn their children.
Open dialogue about drug abuse is a must.
Thank you for making this video!! Its Real, Raw & the truth. I'm a opioid addict in recovery. Support and prayers🙏 fr Canada.✌
Thank you for watching! Congratulations on your recovery! Canada is addressing the opioid issue much better than the US, recently my friend Corey's company has been making headlines there, check it out... globalnews.ca/video/7676699/ottawa-funds-opioid-dispensing-machines?fbclid=IwAR0-W3la1buEeKwKmovVBwfMuJZz7IYxcTPTOM31OL_NcbcK-IFnrMmoVxc
Also, if you haven't read the books Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari or Fighting for Space by Travis Lupick, I highly recommend them!
I watch these as I go through withdraw (like I am now, almost 48hr no opiates) its tough. I'm sick. Aches, shivers, intense back pain, restless legs. This is my third time detoxing and I don't know why I keep putting myself through this. But these videos help me get off of the pain pills. I can say that I've never tried heroin. I refuse. But opiates are opiates no matter what. My heart is with everyone else dealing with this right now.
Hope your doing good man I'm on my 3rd day no heroin its brutal but I honestly want this stay strong
Hello sweetness... How are you?
update? I hope you stayed on that path if not I am still rooting for you! fall down 7 get up 8 times!!
@@geenagreybull5359 yes!!! Thank you so much! 💓
12 days clean keep going its getting better
Need a documentary on alcohol soon, I think I might get called a naive person out here to say this and might be uncomfortable to digest but , well this socially acceptable drink we're always comfortable with has never got the attention that was needed - alcohol is a drug and it kills.
Just because it works fine in the short term, its high time to be honest with alcohol and what damage it does to society.
Alcohol is mother of all evil.
I worked as a policeman in London for 25 years . I dealt with drug addicts and dealers but excess alcohol was a huge problem.
Agree
When that man told the story of his son who got the tumor and the treatment his son recieved then said " we continue to fail" when talking about addiction treatment its not that we continue to fail we are figuring out the ways to do things. This sets a solid foundation for figuring out the correct ways to conquer addiction.
Never did drugs. I don't have to because my life is good. I refuse to hide out in a drug induced state due to anything. Im built different. Shout out to everyone that never did drugs.
All of these people in this documentary are very brave souls. We need more of this right now. Granted, they all used drugs in the past, but who among us have not made mistakes? They took back control of their lives and pushed through the addiction. That says a lot about their character. I've never used heroin and have no idea what it feels like, but I would welcome any of these people in my home. I'm so glad to see many of them dedicating their lives to helping others. I wish them all great success and also I wish them the best for living their future away from drugs. Great going guys and gals, and welcome back from death's door. You are all heroes!
Yes, they are all very brave for being part of this film, thank you so much for watching!
Beautifully spoken. I agree!
Using drugs should not be seen as a bad thing. Addiction doesn't come from the things the drugs make you feel, it comes from the feelings you're trying to escape by getting high.
I'm quitting smoking as of watching this, it's difficult.
However, what these people have gone through and may have or not done in their lives i have the upper most respect for each and every single individual.
Can we normalize talking about addiction? Wether it's a smoking addiction, heroin, cocaine or any kind of addiction for that matter?
Thank you for this incredibly informative film! Amazing job .
I've seen folks get clean in their 30s and relapse in retirement
It never gos away we are never recovered we can only arrest it I had 12 years clean relapsed was clean 3.5 relapsed again got on pg I am 45 have a 30 year history with heroin . I have had healthy decades and years where I was free but there is no beating it
The root cause of all addictions is the feeling of unworthiness. An addict is a person who deals with heavy feelings of unworthiness and this leads to not only the need to numb out their pain, but also to punish themselves for not being enough. Shadow work is key to getting over it.
when people die from this, 90% of the time mixed with coke (speed balls) or other pills like Xanax. I know most people in this film and am a few years younger than Eric Spoffard. We grew up in the same town I knew about him and I ended up staying in his program years later living at the Granet House. I didn’t finish but the people I was in the house with we’re the best. Then 4 died in the same month. We lost 4 people I was with in the house. I lived with very good friends. We lived, cooked, slept, watched TV together and learned how to manage our lives together. The things I have been through in this short life, watching this makes me think about A Lot! If you really want to live a sober life you have to work a program! It’s a fact at this point but it’s so easy to lose track of that program your working. It’s all on the addict. Good luck all my local heroin addicts if you leave your program be safe. ✌️❤️
My addiction made me realize I feel sorry for myself. It's all about me, me, me. This is what humans need to realize. Quit feeling sorry for yourselves. There is no purpose in life of altering your mind with any substance in this planet
Maybe when we all stop trying to do everything alone and have a believe that theres something bigger out there than us that can fill that hole we were all born with! We have to help each other instead of relaying on the drugs to take our pain away!
Such a strong documentary.. I hope someone looking this realise that’s wrong and they will look for help... people deserve a better life...❤️ love from uk 🇬🇧
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed the film!
Loris. Not the engineer from London.
ive been in pain management for years. i became dependent on one pill and i didnt like the way it made me feel so i decided to wean myself off of it. i spread out taking them until it was one every 4 days and then i thought i could just stop. bad move.....i have never been so sick in my life. i actually prayed to die that week. never go cold turkey when you are alone, that can kill you
Actually weaning off just makes your withdrawal last longer. Going cold turkey for at least 3 4 days before getting on maintenance drug is considered
I turned 40 last week. 20 years of iv heroin and fentynl addiction now and running. Molested from ages 4-6 constantly. Sexual abuse accounts for 95%+ of iv drug users. Trauma is why people self medicate. We're not "getting high" we are "self medicating away extreme anxiety depression and PTSD".
TfromtheD
YES!
@@carolv2161 Hi beautiful Carol I hope you are doing okay. I'm in the middle of a crazy cold snow blizzard in Detroit- I'm so over winter lol 🥶🥶🥶 It's amazing at how few people know or understand the extreme coralation between trauma and drug/alcohol consumption....but thanks to channels like this one and SWU and people like you and I in the comments are making that gap much smaller. Much love, be easy girl ❤️
@@DetroitFettyghost Aww I just love you honey- I love US. Some of the BEST humans I know are addicts because we know what’s it’s like to be down and out and just tryin to survive on a minute by minute basis!
hugs! 🤗 💕
Hey T! I agree, I've been through the same. Have severe PTSD, anxiety, depression, OCD, etc and we were self medicating. Hru? I hope things are getting better for you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.
This is THE B3ST docu on addiction/ recovery I've ever seen. Wonderful work, caring, and support in that community. 💞🙏💨 NAMESTE
Wow, thank you so much Kimberly, that really means a lot!
Addiction is the lack of power to choose..Perfectly defined 👏
I have spent my Saturday afternoon watching this, & for today at least, it has served me well. Thanks for that.
Shout to everyone. . . You are a person first, someone's father, mother, sister, brother, etc. . . You are just as much a part of society as anyone else. . . Every day is a new day, the past doesn't have to define your future. . . You are not a bad person. . . Nothing lasts for ever. . . Things can change, as this film proves. . . Just a thought!
Well said! Thank you, so glad you watched the film and as you said, it served you well. It's easy for people to look at someone they don't know struggling with addiction and shrug them off... however, when it's someone you know, it changes things. I hope more people see this documentary the same way you did. Thank you.
Addiction is a everyday struggle that never goes away ,never give up and keep fighting the good fight as will I , everyone falls down it's how u get up is what matters ..never judge a man until u walked a mile in his shoes ...🙏💙
I've been clean 4 years now im on methadone take home but. I'm working on getting off of it but I wasn't even aware I was getting Clean when I did
Congratulations Cammy, that's great news! Keep up the good work!
Good work
Thank you so much it means the world to me coming from you And I just want to say alittle prayer for the The people who are still sick and suffering and don't see a way out There is light at the end of the tunnel maybe don't c it now, ask your higher power to come into your heart and oh he will and help you alot you're never hopeless and when you're ready and tired you'll know
Keep up the good work...
Good for you Cammy Notes...stay the course. It truly can be done. I know
As long as the drugs are fludding the streets of America with drugs, the problem with never go away. All we can is continue to help the ones who want help. I wanted help, 6 years Clean after 20 years off addiction. I'm a Contractor now, I have a wife , all 4 of my kids and I feel good everyday physically and mentally. Only thing I wish is that I never ever picked the shit up in the first place. Waisted all my youth . But I never thought I'd make it out alive, my Dad didn't and and so many others. But I am so thankful to be here today with my wife and Childeren. It's Amazing what you do for these people in need of your help brother. Thanks for Sharing your story and what you have and do the days .God bless
I first took heroin when I just turned 16 years old. I'm now 42 and I've only had about 100 days were I didn't use. For some users it's harder to quit than other. Some people can stop others can't stop.
I agree.
This is so sad but yet so powerful… I lived in New Hampshire for 5 years and I loved it there, made a lot of friends I’m still in touch with to this day but also lost some good friends to heroine… I really wished that never happened…
I'm a active heroin addict, In fact i just took my heroin hit just before I watch this video, I'd feel very ashame saying that😔, but if one day if I'm able to get clean and free from my heroin addiction and get sober like normal person, that day will be my greatest day of my life. Please don't hate me😓😔
Thanks for sharing your story, no one hates you. If you're serious about getting free from your addiction, go to a meeting and try to get into treatment.
You got the most important thing right about getting sober and that is being 100% brutally, cash register honest and that's what I struggled the most with so you were already ahead of me and I now have 7 years clean and sober and I had been using for 25 plus years. I didn't think I'd ever get sober and I used to get high, shoot up speed balls and watch intervention so what you're doing is actually quite common. Do not get down on yourself just know that you are preparing yourself for the right direction and the right decisions and it is very hard. Always keep in your mind though that the longer you wait the less likely it is that you'll be alive to even attempt to get sober. It's not the heroin we were doing today it is fentanyl and xylazine tranquilizers that people mix with Xanax which is a dangerous combination. Please do not mix Xanax and heroin or fentanyl you can pretty much guarantee you're going to die. Just give yourself the gift of hitting bottom and when you do get your ass moving. I hit multiple bottoms and kept going, know that it is a waste of time to do so, one bottom will sustain you for a lifetime, if nobody told you today I love you and I believe in you and you can do this!
Doesn't make sense that this video only has the amount of views that it has blows my mind
Thanks, we're trying to get more views, likes, and subscribers... please help share the film if you feel so inclined, it would be greatly appreciated.
We should be showing these types of documentaries to our children in school, 6th graders and up, young enough that they have not been offered drugs yet old enough to understand.
In my experience it's not how much or how often you use or even what your using
But what your willing to do to get your drug that is the true mark of addiction.
Street corners have a drug dealer,usually starts like that,your future requires you to save money,but your drug use is sabotaging that,a national disgrace and crisis,the drug could be a concoction disguised,deceptive methods used to sell a dose,could be a mixture of anything,you don't know till the substance is tested,I hope it gets the government's attention,make sure you deal with it,prevention may be the cure,pay for it with lives lost,withdrawal systems are horrid,it's tricky to go cold turkey,your family desserts you,each generations fails to succeed,a serious subject to deal with,it ain't no joke,support the habit burdens society,pretty weird way to live a life,a zombie existence,have you seen Kensington,delusional lifestyle,and you chose it unknowingly,it's a cop out,you should know about the consequences,so why risk it💉❌🚩💲💥💊🏳️🌈✔️
@@Jackgritty28 dude I made it out of that f'ing hellscape know as addiction. I was just giving my opinion.
@@colleenlally-ross7105 It wasn't necessarily directed to you,but I appreciate your response,thanks💊🚩💉💲
@@Jackgritty28 love your emojis! I used (well still do) to say, " shoot dope Not people " ( yes I have that kind of humor)🤘😉
I've been addict to heroin for 18yrs, thankfully now I'm sober for 10yrs...with the help of OST
Wow, what a powerful documentary. Thank you for sharing these stories. The clips from Daniel were haunting when realizing what might come :(
Thank you Peggy for your kind words about the film, we hope you share the film with others who you think would like it.
i am an heroin addict and a alcoholic and day after day is hell i can tell you that.
Someone in an N.A. meeting said something that made me think, she said “if there was a cure for pain both physical and emotional it would go a long way towards stopping drug addiction”.
Childhood trauma is always at the core.
Some haven’t had any childhood trauma though.
I made many radioprograms about addiction and I spoke to around 60 addicts and every single one had childhood traumas.
@@countrygirlcopenhagen5095 Almost all do but based on my own experience and some comments I’ve read it’s not “all or nothing”. I think for the rare ones that didn’t have any childhood trauma, they felt disconnected and alone for whatever reason. I am one such example. It’s as though I was born an alcoholic and had childhood depression. Thanks for the reply.
Methadone, Weed and most of all support from my wife saved my life. Great Doc
Glad you got sober, thanks for watching our documentary!
@@venncreativemedia thanks, appreciate it.
Iam on subxon glad its there for me to have to use i got a great doc
@@roberthurles5827 I'm glad it's there to help you as well! Thank you, I'm happy you liked my film!
@@roberthurles5827 congrats man.
I'm Ah Heroin Addict Myself From Athens Ga, I Chase The Dragon,I Pray 1 Day I'll Get Clean, Some Days Are Better Than Others , Heroin Is The Devil 👿 Only GOD Can & Will Defeat It. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Been in my bed 7 days. Coming off that nasty drug. I just want to see my daughter again.
heroin addiction is something you will live with for the rest of your life whether your clean or not I started down this road in 1994 I was 22 years old I've been clean since 2011 but still feel a addict
Congrats on your recovery, I hope you find a way past that mindset and are able to move beyond it at some point. Onward my friend.
@@venncreativemedia I will always be clean but will never forget were I came from that's what I'm saying you can never get away from it 100%
Addictions always comes from some form of emotional trauma. Help these needful people.
I started using in 1975 by 78 i was a daily heroin injecter I have been clean and sober for three years now. i know the danger lurks around every corner everyday. you cant do it by yourself.
Wowwww....I commented somewhere below that my suboxone doctor recommended the book Chasing the Scream - did not expect to see the author! Great book, everyone should read it!
I think that woman in prison is AMAZING!!! She’s gonna go out and inspire a LOT of people who desperately need to see hope!!!! You go girl😊❤️
I been in sobriety for about 4 years the first couple of months were hard but I would relapse than get mad at myself so now I know I can’t relapse because I wanna make my family proud of me. Also my counselor and my Dr. I wanna show them that I can be my regular self. I am still ashamed of all the stuff I did.
This is a wonderful, uplifting and hugely insightful film. Congratulations to everyone! Love to you all.
Thank you so much Pat, we really appreciate it!
Omg, that sucked.
I knew from when they started playing Daniel's recordings that he was gonna end up dying but it still broke me.
Someone's gonna be waking up in the morning with slits for eyes 😢
Here's a thought- we all went to the same keg parties in High School, we all drank the same beer and smoked the same weed. Yet not all of us became addicts..... WHY !?! We may never know the answer to this. But we do know that if we could have prevented it from happening we would have done so. The judgement and negative attitudes towards addicts is so sickening. I don't know how you can judge me for being the unfortunate one who was the one who became addicted, when you did not. You should only be so lucky to sit there and be free from the chains that bound us to the hell of addiction. None of us asked for this. No matter how it happened, it happened and when that day comes and you realize that you no longer pull the strings and control your own life. I pray that you find your way and get sober and have the strength to do so. I do not wish addiction upon anyone, but yet if they only knew what it really was like then we would have so many more facilities and the help that is needed to keep people sober. It's not about punishment I'll tell you that much. It's about fixing whats been broken for many years and taking lessons from the forward thinking countries like Switzerland and Portugal who have been living proof that love heals a country and fuels and economy like no other attempts have so far. AICTWC ODAAT ✌💜🙃🙏
Absolutely blown away. Masterpiece.
Thank you!
Being from New hampshire it's nice to see people highlighting the problem here.
I'm start with H, i have 15year, with 25 i go too metadhone maitnance. I'm 47 now and i'm still on metadhon i can't stop, going on 2,5 ml. that is 5 pills per 5mg and before i turn out i'am again in 20ml that 40 pills per 5mg-200mg, and there's a vallium, pregabalin, hashish and booze. I don't know what too doo, i'm from Croatia and here we get free help but it's a 31 day, no matter witch dose are you, sorry for my spelling.
2 years clean, it was tough.The withdrawals were brutal. But would never go back and do it again.I feel so much better
All this compassion, but everyone's overlooking a real way to improve everyone's life really quick and cheap.
The problem for drug addicts Is not drugs, but the lack of drugs and the inconsistency of the drugs they're using.
Providing regulated drugs to addicts at little or no cost would cut the associated crime rate by 90% and the overdose rate by a lot.
It's not a silver bullet but it's the only option as far as this active addict of 31 years is concerned.
I kick myself in frustration at the amount of hard work i put into getting clean to just through it all away at the last hurdle. Heroin, pills whatever opiates you use they all cause the same miserable existence in the end
What a beautiful and touching movie. Thank you ! 😍💕
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it!
I was an opiate addict for the better part of a decade. It was pills then heroin, snorting then IV. In 2019 I was sent to prison for drug related charges, my first kid was born while I was incarcerated. I've been clean since I was in prison. I've become a father to him, have a good job, house, a real life. Getting off these drugs can be done. It usually takes some drastic steps but ANYONE can do it. Keep your heads up.
I hate when people say "i went through withdrawals for 3 days" .. if you went through heroin withdrawals... It's not fucking 3 days. It's MINIMUM 7 days of intense withdrawals and then WEEKS off no sleep, restlessness, anxiety, etc. So her story of going through withdrawals for 3 days and then calling the officer to say thank you... Total BS.
She wasn't shooting heroin so maybe the withdrawals were less... however, it's her story, her experience.... yours was different, no need to trash her story just because it didn't mimic yours.
Interesting that you know how EVERY withdrawal goes without even knowing the person’s biochemistry or even their dosage. Your attitude is a detriment to all of this.
I agree I snorted for years never used needles and im in Manchester NH btw the city in this doc were all the hood footage is from withdrawal lasts forever unless u have only been using for a few days to a few weeks
Stop thrashing Bella
YES exactly. I went through 10 days and thought it would never end. It think length and method of use matters a lot
2 years clean 11 years a addict the day i chose death but life chose me i couldn't deny a spiritual world that i experienced while gone without help gasped back and laid dope sick for a month nvr looked back the voices telling me to use was silent for the first time in a decade god is good
Michelle you speak the total truth.2018 was the worst year of my life.2 children addicted. My son literally shut himself in a room and gave up.A pile of phone numbers for recovery centers on the nightstand.Unless you had money and good insurance you were screwed. Longgggg story shirt NH in 2018 was bulllllshit! My son is serving 2 yrs in prison for conspiracy due 2 an undercover sting.Mind you he had been arrested twice before for drugs. You see the DEA caredmore about their case than my son's life!! Even the judge from Maine said NH has their heads up their asses and that if they had put my son in jail he probably wouldn't have ended up where he is now. I commend all these individuals that made this documentary!!!!! My children are clean and in recovery. I'll see my son in 1 yr. Praying for anyone that is sick and addicted.My son went to the Nashua fire Station.They saved his life!!!!!!
I'm so happy to hear about your son Tammy, and so glad that the Nashua FD was able to help him. Thank you for taking the time to watch our film.
Tomorrow (July 19th) is my 3 years sober date! I am so blessed to be where I am today! We do recover!
One day at a time folks... There is always hope.
@Nosha Dean I'm sorry that's just not a true statement. CAN people find truth and healing though Jesus? Yes. absolutely. And I applaud the people who do. But please don't discount the people who have other ways. Christ does not have a monopoly on spirituality.
18 years since the last time I did heroin. Now I work at a treatment center. You can do it!!!! Put everything you've got into it and surrender to a good program. Just stop trying to be tough and do whatever you're told and good things will come from it!
3 days of withdrawl? That's a jackpot! My lasted two weeks, methadone is a bitch to kick off
I lost an Uncle and cousin to heroin
R.I.P Uncle Vic and cousin Ronald, I love you
Sorry to hear that mate
I've been struggling 2 years with this .. keep screwing up every couple of weeks but b4 it was all day everyday ..not excusing myself or say I'm doing good but I am doing sooo much better
I love this documentary!!! I’ve been an addict for 20 years. I’ve been on subutex, it didn’t work well for me so I switched to methadone. I haven’t used anything else in 4 years! What really breaks my heart is the judgement because I’m on methadone and not being considered “clean.” I’m so proud of myself but the judgement from others really hurts!!!😢😢😢
What a great video that have alot of an insight into the addiction dilemma GOD helps us all