MOTHERHOOD AFFECTED MY MARRIAGE 😢 | THE HARSH REALITY OF MOTHERHOOD

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  • Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
  • MOTHERHOOD AFFECTED MY MARRIAGE 😥 | THE HARSH REALITY OF A YOUNG MUM. Hello guys, welcome back to my channel, today's video is a little different. discussing the harsh reality of being a young mum. please enjoy the video.
    Let connect:
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    #lifeofabisola,#mumvlogger,#newyorkliving, #adayinalife
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    Hello, My name is Abisola. Am a mother to a sweet baby boy (Ryan), a wife and 2nd year medical student. I document my life as a mother, wife and a medical student. I also do lifestyle videos. Hope you consider subscribing. Thank you.

Комментарии • 113

  • @ShadesofChika
    @ShadesofChika 3 года назад +65

    Motherhood is really a lot and you are right when you say people don't share enough honestly I was SHOCKED after my 1st son that's one of the reason I started blogging which recently evolved to my RUclips because after searching I realized that we blacks don't share a lot I guess it has to do with our culture...
    That hair loss oo oh ehnnnn hmmmmm let me not talk oo oh

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +8

      We don’t share a lot ooo. I was really looking for other mum that I can relate with but I couldn’t find any. Thanks for watching sis

  • @myconspiracy03
    @myconspiracy03 Год назад +72

    I don't think I want kids after watching this video. Thank you for your transparency

    • @not-even-german4892
      @not-even-german4892 Год назад +9

      😅😅😅😅😅 Don't ❤

    • @joylm9108
      @joylm9108 Год назад +8

      It’s ghetto and trash. If I were rich and in a developed country I wouldn’t bother with it. Sometimes I regret and hate that humans have to procreate because we want someone to care for us when we grow old.

  • @minahtheweirdo
    @minahtheweirdo Год назад +25

    I love my kids but if I could go back I wouldn't have got married or had kids

    • @preyonce
      @preyonce 3 месяца назад

      Hey, out of curiosity why would you not want marriage? I understand not wanting kids though.

  • @connieburke9053
    @connieburke9053 Год назад +29

    I think it’s the most thankless job ever.

  • @angelsrosena
    @angelsrosena Год назад +16

    I never wanted to become a mother, motherhood is so unfair for women and yes, congratulations for being honest and help society to stop glorifying this S***

    • @preyonce
      @preyonce 3 месяца назад

      @@SandraSandra-cm6emyes I’m curious to know too. My husband wants kids but I’m hesitant.

  • @qbee1312
    @qbee1312 2 года назад +49

    My teeth became weak and started chipping off. So yes, even on the physicality of it...no one warns you about the possible effects of pregnancy

    • @qbee1312
      @qbee1312 2 года назад +12

      Also, you HAVE to keep your feet up a lot in order to keep away fluid buildup and cankles

    • @monsegonzalez33999
      @monsegonzalez33999 10 месяцев назад +2

      I think your teeth became weak because of the calcium deficiency due to breast feeding

  • @ladyjacy4933
    @ladyjacy4933 3 года назад +70

    After experiencing what motherhood feels like I have asked myself a thousand times how my mom cope birthing and raising all of us.

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +13

      I asked my mum same question one day. It so hard

    • @ShadesofChika
      @ShadesofChika 3 года назад +11

      Honestly I keep asking myself this same question

  • @easiersaidwithmeg
    @easiersaidwithmeg 2 года назад +57

    My mom is great she raised 4 children. But she was never pregnant. We were all adopted. I wonder if not having to deal with the physical changes of pregnancy made it easier …

    • @SELFCAREMODEL
      @SELFCAREMODEL 2 года назад +13

      Probably.

    • @naeloveslove8690
      @naeloveslove8690 2 года назад +6

      I think people don't look at the blessing ..My weight gain ,stretch marks are like my stripes,I worked out and got back where I needed to be,and my man never complained.Its life.

    • @T.C556
      @T.C556 2 года назад +13

      Your mother is an absolute saint! The physical sacrifices of pregnancy also help you to bond to your child. To love a child that you have not birthed is a God given gift🙏🏽

    • @teremertz
      @teremertz 6 месяцев назад

      I fostered many newborn babies, and yes, it is a million times easier to be your best self and provide amazing care when your body hasn’t gone through trauma. I have two biological kids, one natural birth and one via c-section. The physical and hormonal discomfort doesn’t end at childbirth.

  • @Iamrosyd
    @Iamrosyd 2 года назад +61

    I don’t have kids but I know enough to know that once you have kids it changes everything. You have to give up you to be a mother. That’s how I would do it. But for now I’m happy with no kids

    • @naeloveslove8690
      @naeloveslove8690 2 года назад +6

      You most absolutely don't have to give up you ,you have to deal with your new blessings and make it great.I don't be knowing how much sleep folks be needing but I been lucky,when I sleep my kids sleep.you have to find balance.people complain over any kind of work chile.

    • @Iamrosyd
      @Iamrosyd 2 года назад +1

      @@naeloveslove8690 yes that’s true. People do complain about any type of work lol. I complain for any type of work but I still do it.

    • @swiitdoll
      @swiitdoll 2 года назад +10

      I’m childfree. Don’t want no kids. I’m okay this way and happy

    • @swiitdoll
      @swiitdoll 2 года назад +6

      @@Iamrosyd don’t fall for it. Think king and hard and don’t jump into it. Best of luck

    • @Iamrosyd
      @Iamrosyd 2 года назад +3

      @@swiitdoll thank you. Ya food and gas and cost of living keep going up and I can barely afford to take care of myself.

  • @ShadesofChika
    @ShadesofChika 3 года назад +61

    Lack of sleep is also another big one!! You hit the nail on the head. I enjoyed watching

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +4

      Oh yes ooo...I forgot that

    • @twilight6779
      @twilight6779 2 года назад +5

      Sleepless nights and no relaxation would've drove me crazy 🙃

  • @MittBritt20
    @MittBritt20 2 года назад +21

    Oh another thing, new moms lose lots of their vitamins and minerals during post partum. Continue to take vitamins, iron and vitamin d religiously after having a baby.

  • @AtHomeWithDidi
    @AtHomeWithDidi 3 года назад +27

    Motherhood is a bitter sweet experience. Thanks for sharing 🥰

  • @michellealfred5958
    @michellealfred5958 Год назад +8

    No thank you...I can't wait to get my tube tied

  • @toksakinyemi7350
    @toksakinyemi7350 3 года назад +10

    Thats why I like oyinbo pple. If they have a ‘full plate’ and dnt want kids. They dnt have them. They wait till they are ready.

  • @ajokehussein19
    @ajokehussein19 3 года назад +18

    My baby has separated me n my husband 😅😅 he's our middle man. No cuddling anymore between us. Motherhood isn't easy

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +5

      You should try and change that oo unless you don’t love cuddle oo.

    • @ajokehussein19
      @ajokehussein19 3 года назад +1

      @@lifeofabisola5142 I do o

    • @skyfalldeadpool1633
      @skyfalldeadpool1633 Год назад

      Our baby sleep with us because since childhood she refused to sleep alone. She would cry non stop till she was in my arms to sleep. She is 2 now and we have no cuddle and sex life. Luckily I have an understand good husband other wise this would been an uphill battle

  • @wheatstonebridge
    @wheatstonebridge Месяц назад +1

    I feel so alone at time because Im infertile. I guess Im glad that being childfree is more accepted and even more common. I still struggle and feel sad though.

  • @sunlight8299
    @sunlight8299 2 года назад +10

    For contraception I use a copper coil which has no added hormones. My period is heavier and my iron levels got dangerously low but I figure that is better than an unwanted pregnancy as I would not abort the child for moral reasons. You're right the weight of contraceptive responsibility/avoiding pregnancy should not rest on women alone!
    Thank you for sharing your perspective and experience. My sister is pregnant so I'm reminding myself why I have chosen to remain child free. Thank you to all the parents who have children - the future of humanity. It's an important role.

  • @MittBritt20
    @MittBritt20 2 года назад +13

    I’m a new mom, well he’s 17 months and all this is absolutely true! Great video sis!!!

  • @blessingslovinatv7826
    @blessingslovinatv7826 3 года назад +9

    Mother life is not easy

  • @toksakinyemi7350
    @toksakinyemi7350 3 года назад +8

    Yea my shoe size changed wit my 2nd child. I have no problem with weight gain after delivery. Exclusive breastfeeding drained me. Babies are very very demanding. I’m still day dreaming how I wd have been enjoying myself if i ddnt have this 3rd baby.

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +1

      oh WOW...you literally had to change your shoe closet. very demanding but i will all worth it at the end. amen

  • @dolapoolaide4399
    @dolapoolaide4399 3 года назад +10

    I’m even going through a lot now,I’m weaning my baby coupled with the fact that he’s sick 🤕.
    God bless all mothers 🙏.

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +1

      Oh my, May God heal him mama. Amen
      Weaning is so difficult, I cried a lot when I was trying to Ryan too. It so difficult. That one of the reason why I don’t 100% advice exclusively breastfeeding

    • @dolapoolaide4399
      @dolapoolaide4399 3 года назад +1

      @@lifeofabisola5142 thanks dear...me too I don’t support it o,it’s always difficult to wean them

  • @ITSSEUNOLAJIDE
    @ITSSEUNOLAJIDE 3 года назад +12

    The hair shedding tire me, Lord help us with this weight thing.
    24 hours isn't enough oooo, you go to bed so tired everyday
    You're also so right about the drifting part, we had to make conscious efforts to spend time with each other.
    I actually just talked about this contraceptive wahala, because what I'm going through right now hmmmmm God help us. I'm tying my womb too, I made the decision this morning.
    Lovely video sis.

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +3

      🤣🤣🤣.. am tying mine too after having all my kids oo. I made my research already

  • @florenceijaya7071
    @florenceijaya7071 3 года назад +9

    Motherhood is not easy

  • @NazorEzeh
    @NazorEzeh 3 года назад +10

    I've still not snapped back up till now. My belly is still big and it's sometimes upsetting......to make it worse, I have diastasis recti. But I can't come and kill myself jare.

    • @powderandpaint14
      @powderandpaint14 Год назад +1

      Physiotherapy can help with that and if it's really bad there's surgery that can correct it.

  • @Veracruze90
    @Veracruze90 3 года назад +6

    the question you asked is best answered by you, as a medical student,
    why is it that its women that is asked to go through contraception and not men

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +3

      I promise you, we were not taught but I made some research. I will make another video on that

  • @promisebreezy
    @promisebreezy 3 года назад +6

    Some times ask myself the same questions, if it was too early having a child, but I still thank God so many are looking for that blessing i have, I like how honest you are. Exactly 💯 before I had a child I used to complain about my weight, now that I have had a baby, the weight increases

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +2

      You are not alone ooo. I don’t even like looking at my body in the mirror. I don’t get emotional

  • @remi_o8107
    @remi_o8107 3 года назад +7

    my dear dont beat urself up, its also not about waiting cous their is never a perfect time. i gave birth to my first child @28 and thrust me it didn't make it any better or easier.we women are just stronger than we give ourselves credit for even tho we fill like we just wanna run away sometimes

  • @mrsflower125
    @mrsflower125 Год назад +4

    Thank you for your honesty ❤ im looking to have a child next year so its great to know what to expect 🙌🏼

  • @lavish169
    @lavish169 2 года назад +11

    You look very young you can pass for a teenager 15 or 16 years.

  • @thembisaodendaal
    @thembisaodendaal 2 года назад +7

    Love your voice,love the content...enjoy your family

  • @TheAfosFamily
    @TheAfosFamily 3 года назад +4

    Motherhood...... hmmm not easy ooo because the mental aspect is unexplainable but sometimes I will be emotionally breakdown and YES kids are blessing definitely no doubt it’s exhausting with physical appearance not everyone one get back to shape but overall it worth it 🥰🥰

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад +3

      Very exhausting. I don’t like looking at my body in the mirror, I get so emotional 😭

    • @TheAfosFamily
      @TheAfosFamily 3 года назад +1

      @@lifeofabisola5142 we just have to accept it like that, been living my life for the kids since 2015 that was at 26 years of age, so I only enjoy my adulthood for only 4 years when I moved to Uk and got married 2014 so by the time I reach 40 that is when I will loom forward to enjoyment that’s in 9 years time 😭😫😫 but for getting our body back is honestly by luck. I don’t have stretch mark on my belly at all but my laps is like I was beaten with stretchmark but am not complaining 🤣🤣🤣🥰🥰🥰

  • @LlamameJazz
    @LlamameJazz Год назад +2

    Thank you for your transparency!

  • @chimdigrace28
    @chimdigrace28 3 года назад +2

    The best way of relieving your self of the stress enjoy every bit with them make them feel you enjoyed the play.then it will be easy for you.let them know when you are serious too.create time for play too.

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад

      Aunty, I create time to play with him. Most time, am in class

  • @queenellasmith5605
    @queenellasmith5605 3 года назад +5

    Mother hood is an awesome experience but the same time hard and sweet

  • @MrKeepnit100
    @MrKeepnit100 3 месяца назад +2

    And that is why I got a vasectomy I will NEVER put the woman I love through that

  • @sariahlace5944
    @sariahlace5944 2 года назад +7

    Most pregnant don't have any glow
    quite the opposite really.

  • @TheAfosFamily
    @TheAfosFamily 3 года назад +4

    Even if someone takes ones child your mind will still be there come and ask me about Multitask I am the master in that, while bottle feeding Laylah, I might be cooking aside and also be cleaning, Imran use the toilet and had to clean him and all not wash my darling, and also thinking about what your husband will eat and trying to satisfy them. It is well ooo.....we are the one that’s on medication not to get pregnant, we have a lot to deal with honestly

    • @lifeofabisola5142
      @lifeofabisola5142  3 года назад

      OMG...you just define me. Worry about kids, husband and worried about keeping the house clean. It really exhausting

  • @ujspacetv1334
    @ujspacetv1334 3 года назад +3

    I agrée with all you points kids can dérivé you and partner apart if time not taking...that contraception wahala ee women don suffer my sister

  • @ebyagoha4972
    @ebyagoha4972 3 года назад +3

    Such an informative video ‼️ SB: lollll i hate shapewear, the only shapewear i can manage are shorts

  • @KeithSmith.
    @KeithSmith. 6 месяцев назад

    Your husband is lucky . You were willing to work and protect your connection 🙏🏿🤎

  • @peacetule7235
    @peacetule7235 3 года назад +4

    Beautiful video Abiiii...Your honesty 💯❣️

  • @camera8617
    @camera8617 4 месяца назад

    Thanks for sharing girly I really appreciate your transparency

  • @jodyrcarvalho5687
    @jodyrcarvalho5687 3 года назад +3

    Wooo!I loved your channel, congratulations!

  • @adejokevictoria6192
    @adejokevictoria6192 3 года назад +1

    Motherhood sha...Well done mama 😍

  • @remi_o8107
    @remi_o8107 3 года назад +4

    what 24hours......u dont even know what time is anymore, its crazy always something to do

  • @dolapoolaide4399
    @dolapoolaide4399 3 года назад +5

    Ehhh God motherhood, I can write a whole textbook on it...That’s how someone saw me at the hospital today and was telling me you are now fat o 😯and I’m like 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

  • @TeewaiVlogs
    @TeewaiVlogs 3 года назад

    Yeah... truly,you don't look like you've given birth o🥰😅calling him your brother...lolzzz
    Wow...hmmm,this is eye opening...thanks for sharing

  • @kylieking8163
    @kylieking8163 2 года назад +6

    Too young to have kids. I'm sorry to say

  • @chimdigrace28
    @chimdigrace28 3 года назад +11

    Motherhood is a wonderful experience

    • @nikicarrie4071
      @nikicarrie4071 Год назад +5

      No it isnt

    • @user-wk3ls7vt9m
      @user-wk3ls7vt9m Год назад +2

      lmao what a lie stop telling people that. It’s a trap. no thanks 😂

    • @princessglandy6776
      @princessglandy6776 8 месяцев назад

      ​@@user-wk3ls7vt9mexactly misery loves company

  • @dolapoolaide4399
    @dolapoolaide4399 3 года назад +4

    But motherhood is an awesome experience regardless

  • @girlonfire2.076
    @girlonfire2.076 Год назад +1

    I've always thought of African women as baby making machines I didn't even think y'all thought about motherhood I just thought it's something you did

    • @tesso.6193
      @tesso.6193 Год назад +8

      that's ridiculously racist and misogynistic

    • @afrodite287
      @afrodite287 Год назад +4

      This comment was beyond unnecessary. Do better

    • @KaylenApril
      @KaylenApril 11 месяцев назад

      I saw your profile pic and thought you were African. You have strong African features. I was wondering why you dissing yourself.
      But then again, I thought other races were baby abortion machines.

    • @teremertz
      @teremertz 6 месяцев назад

      The more you know, I guess