Stop Waiting
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
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My name is Jay Swanson - I'm an American writer living in Paris on an artist visa. Paris (yes the one in France) has been my home for years now and I have every intention of staying here for as long as they'll have me. I write science-fiction and fantasy, vlogged daily for 3+ years, and love pizza a little too much. Now I make videos about visiting Paris, traveling in Europe, and try to share what I've learned along the way. I hope you enjoyed what you found.
Links are affiliate links where they can be - meaning if you click through them and buy something, I'll get some pennies. Thanks! (The FTC wants me to tell you that up front)
Patron Producer: Chloe Elliot
Edited by: me
Music by: @Dyalla
I finally pulled the trigger a couple of months ago and booked my flight, my apartment and my language school in Paris. It was something I’ve wanted to do since my son graduated from high school and went off to college in August 2022. I am retired so have the time, but I’m so filled with fear and anxiety that it incapacitates me. So, I’m either being courageous or insane to leave the safety of my empty nest! I hope to run into you again in Paris and wanted to let you know that I found this posting to be one of your most compelling and encouraging! I’m one of the people that needed to hear this today so thanks for that!
I'm glad you found it then! In situations like that (especially when I know that my internal emotional state doesn't reflect the reality) I try to reframe my anxiety as tingling excitement for what's to come. Can't always successfully trick myself into it, but it really can help. Hope the move to Paris goes smoothly, and pre-welcome!
I love the Samuel Beckett quote (incidentally tattooed on one of my fave tennis player Stan Wawrinka's arm): "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better”. Sounds like it's about failure, but I take it to be about joie de vivre.
Love that quote - there are hundreds of failures behind every success
Stan the Man!!!
@@hiwayman981 love him!
“Life; it’s not a spectators sport, it can be but I think that’s how you waste it.” Hands down best thing you said in this video! So true! And again I’m LOVING these mini vids around town!
Wow, I didn’t know I needed to hear it but I did actually. Fear is definitely a big factor. But life can change in an instant through illness or loss. Time goes so quickly and wasting it is really easy to do. Thanks so much for this reminder. A great shareable message. 👍🙏❤️
My absolute pleasure =) Thanks for your support!
Yes agree with you.
These are things that are hard to say aloud. Thank you for doing so. 😊
Do you have a video about the move & how you got your VISA?
Great point. Navigating through unexpected hits like illness and loss all the while still trying to stay true to your north star and reaching for that dream or goal makes things a LOT more challenging and seemingly impossible. Hats off to those who have done it and wonder how one develops the resiliency to do it.
thanks for the beautiful reminder! Unfortunately for me, I was burdened by family obligations, but now life has been less restrictive. Love the random Paula Cole reference.
I hope that you can really enjoy some new freedoms!
I so,love the change in your voice. You sound so much more grounded and happy and I love it. We are also so happy we took the leap and moved to France.
Thank you! Definitely been a lot of work on myself these past few years, and I want to keep that going so it can come through here (and maybe even help a few others along the way)
I've pulled the trigger. My vacances travail visa was approved in under a day (usually takes 3-5). I'd be lying if I said you didn't play a part on this. You showed me that such life is possible even with its ups and downs so I look forward to returning to France in the next couple of weeks!
Congratulations! I wish you all the best, and far fewer lows than me 😅
This is the best “introspective” vlog you’ve done. Thanks for the inspiration.
Glad you enjoyed it!
midlife unburdening. good phrase! While still processing something, i didnt think to label it that as its a great part of what im feeling. its a relief.
HUGE relief. It makes me feel very excited for the future
Great video Jay! Thanks for the reminder!
"Life is not a spectator sport. That's how you waste it. We gotta go out and get it from where we are, and make it happen!!"❤
Thank you for your wise words! Of course no major decision is without its setbacks but there has to be some starting point, no matter how small it is.
I just came home from Paris on Saturday. I told my family I found my city. And then you post this. It’s my sign. Thank you! ❤
Shout out to Paula Cole and the Dawson’s Creek theme song! I saw her in concert in Birmingham, Alabama during the height of her success when I was in college. HA
Just couldn't stop thinking it 😂
Cooper, the little guy. 🩷
He's a cutie
Really inspiring message. You’ve always been a favorite creator and I love watching your growth and that feeling of warm fuzziness that your vlogs bring. Thank you for the daily inspiration. Love you
You're most welcome! Thank you for sticking with me =)
Thanks for this video!! I think it is totally relevant to most, if not everyone. The fear of the unknown, being risk adverse, etc. Also truly enjoyed the song reference! 😂😬
My pleasure!
Great video! I can only imagine how much work goes into putting a video out every day, but I'm loving it. Thanks!
Thank you🙏. This was an amazing message to start the week with.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Great video Jay. I like how you mentioned that if you don't just uproot and do it, you usually won't. I moved to Paris 4 weeks ago and just left LA and really am happy with the decision to just go!
Good for you! So much of it is about removing the safety net and jumping
This one hit home, Jay! I even wrote down your quote in my journal, starting at 8:35. I needed to hear that. I've been job hunting for a while, and your thoughts gave me the kick in the pants I need to keep making a life, not waiting for it to happen.
So happy to hear that! Makes the video worth creating =)
It makes me happy to see you so happy.
Thank you!
So simple and yet deeply profound and life altering. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message Jay! 💕
You are so welcome. Glad it hit =)
When you were in Maison Fleuret (wow that place looks so amazing) the couple on the left side of you was like a mirror image of you, and also he was wearing trousers the same colour of your jumper, just caught my eye! A little weird inception!!
I totally thought it was Tim Ferris for a second when I sat down to edit😂
Our lives are either expanding or contracting ❤❤❤
🥂 Either spiraling up or down. Thankfully we've got quite a lot of say in the matter, regardless of external circumstances.
Ever felt like a message was specifically for you? That's how I feel with this one. But where to start?! I don't know but thanks for the motivation Jay!
Your video is everything right now! Thank you for always saying the right things at the right time. I needed this so much. Love your videos, content and music…always look forward to seeing them. Blessings always 🙏😊
You're so welcome! Thank you for watching
Damn, I clicked randomly on your video and saw the street where I was living as a student at 8:54. Thanks a LOT for the nostalgia!
My absolute pleasure!
Good one Jay. Very serendipitous!! I went through the same thing years ago and came to the same conclusion. I decided to pull the trigger as well. Tomorrow I go to Paris and close on my new apartment (in the 3rd) and move this spring. I hope to see you around the neighborhood!
Congratulations! Gotta jump if you want to go for a swim =D
Exactly!
I appreciate this video very much! I can definitely get stuck in analysis paralysis, but I have definitely switched gears in the last six months. The perfect time is now. There is so much I want to do and see. So everything I am doing is actively working towards that goal. No more standing on the shore looking into the distance while working my life away. I'm diving head first into it all.Thx for the perfect message today!
You're most welcome! Thanks for watching =D
Totally needed this! I'm moving to France this year come hell or high water!
Yeayah!
Needed this. Been so busy travelling to London and now Paris had not had time to watch your videos. But got to see this one while in Paris, so a tad more poignant for me. Thanks.
Such good advice! And seriously great moment to revel in all that has come from taking that leap. Super INSPIRING !! And oh my heart - the end with Cooper!!!
Thanks for sharing and for bringing us along for the ride! You are truly inspiring!
You are so welcome!
Jay, one of your best! Totally motivational! Gave me some new year inspo! Happy 2024 🎉
Happy to share some energy!
I really really want to move to Paris! My grandmother immigrated from France and I'm trying to bring the family back. I'm a freelancer with $5 in the bank right now 😩 I'm looking at freelance visas, but they're so difficult to make it happen! Here's hoping soon!! You've been a huge inspiration and your content has scratched that itch while I wait!
I'm glad I can offer a little peek to the other side! Keep at it - I know how hard it is but it's very worth it if it's what you want.
@@JaySwanson Thank you so much, my Friend!
Damned right - just go for it. It’s something I should have done when I was younger. Cheers for the videos Jay. Im really enjoying watching them. PS even in the depths of crappy winter, Paris still manages to look fantastic!
EXACTLY don’t stop living! How funny, I’m in the exact same position in my life. So much to do and experience and it’s so exciting (I’m 40 now) so I’m all for going forward and not holding back - so you do just that! Cheering you on!
Thank you! Cheering you on too 🥂 Go get 'em!
Another slamdunk! Thank you.
Thanks for watching!
Love, love, loved this one ❤
Thank you!
Wonderful video, I very much needed! And I gotta add: I love your shots so much, I know it's a lot of work and the result is always great!
Thank you! It's been a lot of fun to put in just a liiiiittle extra work. Gonna keep trying to improve =)
I needed the reminder… Thanks Jay ❤
You're most welcome - go get 'em
Thanks for this, Jay. I needed this reminder today. Great video
My pleasure. Thank you for watching!
Thank you for the reminder, Jay! I finally stopped waiting when I faced with an incurable debilitating condition to start my youtube channel and, to this day, I ask myself why didn’t I do it sooner?! I hope people would start their “thing” they dream about now and don’t wait for a perfect moment.
Amen! Your channel is gorgeous!
@@JaySwanson Thank you so much, Jay!! I love creative cinematography in your video ✨
Thank you for your never-ending positivity. And your message is perfectly stated. Get after what you want!
You're so welcome! I'm angling for a much more positive narrative to life - takes so much time to turn the ship but it's already been worth it =D
Jay you live in an amazing city. So you living in Paris is not for folks who think about it but for folks who just jump and take the leap of faith. You are on the right track. Merci
Thanks!
Don't wait! Excellent message Jay. So true, things need not be in the perfect state to start. Waiing can lead to nasty regrets.
❤
Thanks Laurie =D We worry a lot about making the right decision. Sometimes you've gotta make a decision, then make it right.
Yes! Great advice and encouraging without the guilt. We all have our own path and way to get there.
For sure! And what a wonderful world where we get to see and hear about the experiences of others that we never even knew were possible =)
Fantastic message, Jay. “That’s how you waste it”, indeed. We wanted to move to Europe when our son was seven. We finally all moved when he was 17, everyone on board and fully committed to the vision of a new life abroad. It has by no means been easy, but it has been incredibly rewarding.
What a great video to be the chosen patron producer! Thanks, Jay! Always grateful for your channel :)
You're the best!
Wow, I just discovered your channel thanks to Paul’s Dickheads & a suggestion by a fellow fan to watch. Your videos are great!
I waited way too long to come to Paris & I have to say that no matter how hard this second year gets I am grateful for what brought me back to this path & hopeful for what I wish to build. 💪🍀❤
Good for you! It's a cliche for a reason, but everything worth having in life truly requires struggle. Thanks to the anonymous dickhead for sending you over =D
“All you could ever want is on the other side of fear”. Thanks for the reminder Jay!
Great quote!
One of the few times I’ll quote a real estate developer. George Adair.
Paris me manque
Vous la manquez aussi, je suis sur
Taking risks is very important. I regret waiting many years to leave my home country because I was too scared. Eventually I did move to Europe. Recently I took a risk and moved to Canada from Europe. Which I regret now because I lost my European residency and can’t easily go back.
I might go to the US next but that’s also a huge risk and not sure if it’s worth it now that I’m older and not super healthy. But I always dreamed about living in the US my whole adult life.
Yeah that's hard. There's always a cost and it can be so challenging to know what that might even be when setting out on some of the bigger journeys. All the best to you in navigating that decision!
@@JaySwanson yeah for sure. But it is also wise to have a backup plan for those big decisions. So I will wait for my Canadian citizenship and then decide where to go next or maybe stay here. In that case I will have a home base in a decent country. Now I’m basically stateless as I can’t even visit my native country.
You said “don’t wait” but sometimes waiting is a better option. I could say “F it” and just move back to Europe. But then I will be on temporary visas again for years without any rights to travel anywhere just because of my passport. And always stressing about being deported to my dangerous native country.
Important message! True!
"Fleurette" means "little flower". It gave the expression "Conter fleurette" (literally "to tale flowers" 🙂 when you try to seduce someone with words) then the verb "Fleureter" which became in English the verb "to flirt"…
🌸
This might be a small, small example. But for years I wanted to write a screenplay. Last year - 12 years later, I finally wrote one - a short. And surprisingly did decently well at a competition. Why did I wait so long, I still ask myself to this day. Fear? the what ifs? I was never "ready"? Who am I to write a script, I'm no writer. blah blah. Had I started 12 years ago, I may have actually been somewhere at this point and not at my current, boring profession. But better late than never, and I'm still young. Thanks Jay, love your videos - much of it came in handy when I visited Paris for the first time a few years ago.
Thank you so much for sharing! That's not a small story at all, that feels like a huge win. Now we get to see where you are 12 years from when you started, and I'll be able to say "That guy totally left a comment on one of my RUclips videos."
Hey Jay. I’ve been subscribed to your RUclips channel for a while and I just began following you on Instagram. Thanks for the great informative work and info you provide - one motivation for me to visit Paris that is coming up 80 days from today, but who’s counting?? 😉Arriving Friday morning, March 29th and my short 5 day visit will also include a 2 day trip to Normandy with a Band of Brothers tour scheduled. Renting an Airbnb on the left bank across the Siene from Notre-Dame a couple of blocks east of the Saint-Michel-Notre-Dame metro stop. Keep up the great work and I’ll be on the lookout for you and your camera and dog.
Thank you! Keep that countdown alive =D
Thanks!
Thank you! 🥂
Loving these uploads
Thanks!
This has NOTHING to do with the VLOG you just uploaded...well very little, but more with a recent one...I am MUCH older than you and should be giving you advice, but something you said struck a chord...you didn't go to a party because someone you didn't like would be there, I've been in that VERY position many times, and others said, oh, be the bigger person and go...which I did...and had a miserable time, you made me see the correct choice would have been to simply respect myself enough not to go...and I thank you for that. I haven't done the therapy thing, which you often suggest, as I think I'm too scared to learn the things about myself I don't wanna know. When I am in a position to be a patron, I WILL!! For now, I will watch...listen and admire as a viewer and a fan. Hugs to Cooper #respect
I'm happy to know that I could help! I'm really grateful I made that choice - it had an immediate impact on my relationship with myself - and I'm going to try and keep doing right by me in the same way from here on. As you well know, it's a long journey but thankfully one that has the potential to get much better over the long run. Thank you for watching!
Yeah man, this is something I'm struggling with hard right now. I'm trying so hard to get to Europe from the States (I have an EU passport and want very much to move to Paris specifically) but I'm waiting on getting a job that will be cool with me living there. It feels like every month that goes by was a waste of life, but I don't know how else to do it in a stable way that will keep me from being homeless right after moving there (I have NOT been able to acquire any savings while living in the States, so I have no backup funds). It feels like the sands in my hourglass are just trickling as I keep trying at this.
I felt very much the same way. Obviously take whatever I say with a grain of salt, but if it's any consolation, looking back at those times now I can't believe how quickly they actually went - and whatever time felt wasted in the pursuit of what I wanted was simply the cost to get it. Better that than give up and spend forever in a situation I never wanted. Keep after it!
LOVE LOVE LOVE !
Hahhahahahah Jay I love your content so much!! And of course you and the things you say! You are so correct!!! Just completed my trip to Amsterdam and Rotterdam now I just booked another trip 35 mins ago! On the back of my other trip that I’m going to take hahaha and working those countries see the other cities too
Excellent! Sounds like you're off to a solid adventure!
a.) Thanks for helping me get a little more unstuck
b.) the dawson creek song got me chuckling, I haven’t thought of that song in forever
c.) maison fleuret , wow didn’t know I am a bibliophile. I love being around books, makes me so happy plus a coffee and that spiral staircase 🤩😍
Thank you for sharing!
Definitely give it a try! The coffee wasn't as good as the food, but it would still be worth it. Especially for the environment =)
Thanks for posting this Jay. I needed to hear this after kinda wandering through Life the last few years, more focused on others than myself. This year I made a pledge to myself to actually focus and work on my goals. Your positivity and candidness is always appreciated. I’ve also been loving the daily vlogs again. Keep up the awesomeness. 👋🏽😊
Glad it was helpful! I've really struggled with putting the focus on myself, and doing for the first time in my life, but if we truly want to help others (cliche as it sounds) we really do have to help ourselves first.
Your story is so inspirational on your decision to move to Paris! Thank you for sharing!
My pleasure! Thanks for watching =)
So true, don't wait, because you may have regrets later. We started our travelling journey years ago. People always ask, "how do you do it?' Just flying to Hong Kong, without a plan, just a place to stay, being able to just take the local transport and get around. Just get out there. I guess it applies to everything, So, if you are thinking about travel, just plan it.. you just need a plane ticket and place to stay. the rest will work itself out.
Definitely thinking of making an extension on this line of thinking into solo travel for just that reason =D
Kinda random but the jacket you wore at around 6:45 looks great.
Thanks! Love random compliments 🥰
A working Van Moof 🚲 🎉
Nice light today.
Right? Gotta get it when it's good
“Most people are afraid that if they look at what is, they will break-that there will be too much for you. And I would say it is too much for who you think you are, it is not too much for who you are.” - Ram Dass
Great quote!
Thank you for this video!
You are so welcome!
Great message!
Thanks!
The Dawson’s Creek theme song reference was hilarious.
Was driving me nuts haha
Pursuant to Lindsey’s French lesson: Fleuret signification: Épée à lame de section carrée, au bout moucheté, pour s'exercer à l'escrime. A new word for my vocabulary.
it's also a female first name and a little flower 🙂
I’m still making sourdough.
I bet it's delicious!
What is that logo on Jay's hat? It looks so familiar. It's driving me crazy. Thanks.
Sorry, to be more specific: his baseball hat (8:00). He's been wearing it every episode for a while now.
WSU
So like I have this question (feel free to answer if you like, and maybe you already have), whenever you record the shots where you are going away from the camera, are you not afraid someone might pick your camera up? 😂
So, are we technically back to daily vlogging? 😀
🧙♂️
How much time do you spend per video placing the camera, entering/exiting frame, returning to pick it up? Nice effect, but it seems like it would be a pain.
All good things are worth the extra work ;D
Great video and advice, Jay. It was perfect to hear as I inch along in the rain here in San Antonio, TX.
My wife & I spent a glorious 4 days in Paris last summer, our first visit, and your videos were very helpful. Being coffee people ourselves, we always enjoy anticipating your morning destinations for a caffeinated fix.
At any rate, I was brave enough to learn a few French phrases to premiere, per your advice. Being able to say hello, 🎉and apologize for not speaking French, really paid dividends.
I’d like to expand my French language arsenal and be more “advanced” for our next trip there - what would be your advice on building those next steps in French phrases for second timers, without overwhelming the memory banks?
Thanks as always. Cheers!
I think practice is ultimately the key. Repetition makes it rote, and once you can reflexively get the sentences out, that's when it becomes easy. Just takes some good old fashioned elbow grease (of the mental variety haha)
@@JaySwanson I think you’re right. I mean, I probably practiced my line of saying, “sorry, I do not speak French…do you speak English,” so many times, that I now find myself saying it like it’s second nature.
On that note, it truly is amazing to find how far a little friendly & respectful French can get you. We stopped in for an ice cold beverage in one of those charming Montmartre corners, Lou Pitchoun’s, right across from Pain Pain.
We noticed a couple American ladies question the service and, essentially, imposing the “appropriate” way things should be lined up on the table - ouch. Big mistake!
They put the young hostess into such a raging frenzy that she went right to smoking. LOL Well, I thought, “we could run now because we’re the Americans who are next, or I could gain the fortitude to speak French.” Well, I chose the latter.
Once I spoke French and did my best to apologize for the two American ladies, as I felt compelled to, her attitude quickly improved. It was amazing. I even said, “bon courage,” as we walked away (per your advice!) and she lit up like a Christmas tree.
It truly made my day Jay, thank you. 🙏
Et oui un froid polaire s'installe en France (il est surnommé le "Moscou-Paris" car il vient de Russie et de Scandinavie), ça va piquer ! Cooper vous adore, il saute partout à votre arrivée. 🤪
Encore pire aujourdhui!
I love your videos! New subscriber here. Food for thought: Had everything collapsed after you moved to Paris, and you were suffering still from the consequences, would you have concluded that you should have prepared better, or waited for the right moment, or regret entirely your decision? If so, I find it problematic as it implies that the outcome entirely justifies the decision, whereas I don't think good decisions should be based purely on outcomes. For example, even if a heavy smoker ends up never getting lung cancer, that does not mean that it was a good decision for them to smoke, don't you think? In the same way, just because things are working out for you now, it doesn't mean things will continue to work out (sincerely hope it does, of course!), or that it justifies all the past decisions that have led to this present moment. So at what moment can we really find out if it was a good decision or not? "Stop waiting" and taking risks could result in great results in some cases at some point, but also disastrous ones in other cases, and by this logic, we will never know whether a decision was good or not until the very moment we die! (Aristotle's argument against happiness as a state, if you're interested). In other words, the criteria for the justification of one's choice in face of uncertain future must therefore lie elsewhere if we don't want to arrive at this bizarre conclusion. Something to think about ;)
Thanks for subscribing! As for your counter factual (love a good counter factual): yes. And in fact, my life did continue falling apart after I moved here. It got MUCH worse before it got better, a lot of which you can see in my early vlogs (2017-2018). But even back then, I was very very grateful that I managed to make it here. But I totally see your point, sometimes we can look back and suffer survivor bias without realizing it, and I think it's a very fair question to raise. So thank you!
@@JaySwanson I'm sorry to hear that! I have a lot of catching up to do on your past videos ;) You seem like such a genuine, thoughtful, and kind person, and I'm sure whatever path you end up taking, it will be the right one for you as long as you keep staying true to yourself. Thank you for sharing a part of you with the rest of the world. Your passion for life is infectious, and I'm looking forward to your stories that you tell with such integrity and eloquence.
style reminds me so much of that RUclips guy- I can't believe I don't remember his name- NYC- soho- as I watch this I can't stop thinking of him hoping to remember his name... omg - you stole his whole personality and camera style!! lol wow. CASEY NEISTAT!! Is that what you're doing?! now I'm freaked out. Paris is cool. Small world.
He was a huge inspiration for sure - I started vlogging in his style back in like 2015 (privately, those videos aren't publicly available haha) and then jumped into daily vlogging in 2016. Made for a long crazy road
How do you protect your camera when you taking all the movement shots? Do you just leave and hope for the best?
A sorcerer never reveals his secrets🧙♂️
Have you ever almost gotten your camera stolen? The anxiety is killing me 😂
😂😂
Is it every video you post a small novel article? It is.
This was a nice relaxing vidieo. (I usualy watch at work.). What do I do for work. you ask? Mostly I drink coffee.. Really. Any way, I have an Idea. Do I
one of your videos totally in French with english subtitle . Explain what is different between living in France and USA or something. Just a thought. Stay Strong,
🌴🌴 Aloha
🇫🇷
Every time you hang out with Lindsey, it reminds me of the times I have hung out with Lindsey and I feel the world is so close!
I can’t echo enough to start to do the things you want to as soon as you can. My dad passed away at 76 from Parkinson’s with dementia on Sunday morning. It’s never enough time. Carpe diem.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Karin. Carpe diem indeed.
@@JaySwanson Thank you, Jay.
I stopped waiting for inspiration to strike and now I’m tired because I’m suddenly aware of my shortcomings.
👏
🥂
I’m a huge bibliophile … but am I blind or are all those books shelved spine-in? I think that might drive me crazy. 😂
The sourdough craze stopped in the US in 2020 lol
😂
❤
⭐♥️⭐♥️⭐♥️⭐
🥂🙏🥂
What was the name of that book cafe? I must have missed it lol
Maison Fleuret, looks to be in the 6th! :)
Watching your video on a cruise ship on the Pacific and not skipping commercials. 🛳️🚢⚓️ Gotta have my Paris fix.
Thanks for taking some ads for the team! 🥰