How to Save a Life - The Fray - Lyrics Meaning Explanation
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- Опубликовано: 22 авг 2024
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This is a DEEP song! And it's beautiful. Honestly, it's one of the best songs I've explained recently, and that's because the artist isn't trying to preachy--they're just trying to communicate something real and honest and simple.
"How to Save a Life" by The Fray is a song you NEED to listen to!
In fact, go watch the music video NOW: • The Fray - How to Save...
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Disclaimer: The content of this educational video is covered by fair use. My explanations are transformative and add interpretation and analysis to the original work much as happens when I teach poetry in a university classroom. When I explain songs, I use only the lyrics or short clips of the original song or music video and thus have not hurt this song’s salability or provided a market substitute. All copyright claims will be disputed and appealed. Please see me as your ally in my attempt to use a literary perspective to enable fans to better understand and enjoy your wonderful and interesting piece of music.
I took a completely different meaning from this song and it’s because of a personal experience. My dad and I were really close. We lived on our own, just the two of us and I idolized him like no tomorrow- but things happened to him and I was too young to understand or see the toll it was taking on him.
We argued one night because I got home late (we never argued...) but then he just apologized and sat on his bed quietly. He just looked so very tired, and I remember wondering why, but I just went to bed instead of talking to him.
Next morning I went to school, but didn’t say goodbye to him because he was still sleeping. Three hours later, I was pulled into the office and told that he was dead.
“I would’ve stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life...”
Revlimiter4214 that deep 😩 I lost a friend from suicide and it has honestly been very hard ....!
indiana singing A permanent solution for a temporary problem. It’s been hard without him. Mental health is no joke
Revlimiter4214 I'm so sorry for your loss. I truly am. I lost my father to suicide. Never really told him how much I loved him. But when I see him in the afterlife, I know exactly what I'm going to tell him first.
I’m so so sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry.
A friend I once had.
Had severe depression.
Spoke to her every single night.
Was her "only hope"
Got tied up for a few weeks and couldn't speak.
Eventually came back to try and explain.
She was gone.
I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life
Faded that hits really hard sorry about that man
That hit different
So sorry & KNOW one thing, it isn't your fault
I'm sorry for your loss❣️
Please remember, it was NOT your fault. Most of us don't know what to do or say other than to be there for them during their pain.
Wow, I just teared up
That song always makes me cry... Probably because it's relatable
.,.
Definitely relatable. This song makes me cry.
Myself and my husband were on the phone with our grandson (across the country) just before he completed suicide. While we were talking with him we tried to get him to see the positive sides of his life and how he was moving forward in a positive direction. We had no idea he would try suicide. We found out 12 hours later.
@@WarriorNana4Chg I'm so sorry for what you've been through and I'm sorry this has happened. May God ease your pain. 🙏🏻😔
Yes unfortunately we all do in some way. Which is good I guess because we all need to know we are not alone in any of this as long as we stay present and show love to each other, with understanding and providing a safe place for others and also finding a safe space for ourselves. I hate the world being so divided. We are all in need of the same things & to remember that when we see another in suffering is what teaches us how to show love to others. That’s how we save another life. But know from someone who suffers with bipolar II depression, we can’t save everyone. Depression hurts more then just the depressed. Sometimes no matter what we do we still lose those we love, but knowing we where a source of love and comfort for them is vital for our souls & grief.
@opit makes me think of how id have had to like of I had close friends back in hs inevitably K can see them having had some idiot moment as happens to us all where we do stuff but. If they had done soem dare or whatever from a stranger givong them sometjign and it turning out to make there heart suddenly cease etc fwiw as those rumours of the kind of thing that happens fwiw ykwis?
The Fray my first ever band i loved..still listening to this song..
It's so good, right?
@@ThePopSongProfessor yes
Is there a connection between How to Save a Life and You Found Me? A suggestion for the next video!
Oh, interesting!
I would love to hear what you think about You Found Me too... again, I haven't dug into it at all, just listening/singing passively, but there are lines with imagery that has me curious. I may just have to do that myself tonight, lol
I’d say so or their two seperate scenarios like what ifs. Both songs are fire tho
I would have hugged my Great Uncle longer and tighter if I had known he was going to die.
I work in mental health. This song and Demons by Imagine Dragons are the songs that most remind me why I do what I do.
I lost my best friend a couple years back and i heard this song for the first time a short time after... i cry when ever it comes on... but i love it so much.
Sort of window to your right is your option to stop that conversation, you stay right cause you're not sure is you're ready to do this.
And fear and blame are of you not HE, cause you fear of what can come out of such a talk and blame comes from HIS actions that affected you.
So you blame this person for various things while fear to actually make it worse
Chorus itself is so powerful
The you person, or helped as you call it, is complete broken, he feels guilt and sorrow while at the same time depicting HIS problem so severe that can order of life and dead, maybe even literally.
So you are trying to find good reasons why you haven't succeeded and find comfort in that is was impossible.
And here we remember blame and frustration and bitterness takes over in the end.
This song came out at a time I was depressed, and I had a friend who was also depressed, he tried to kill himself several times and tbh this song was ON CONSTANTLY EVERYWHERE! It helped me the first time I heard it... but then it was everywhere I turned! God it hurt at the time, it really screwed up my head, but it is amazing
I can kinda relate to this song
I have this friend that I found out has been doing drugs and drinking a lot, she's also depressed and suicidal (we are both only 13).
She's too young for any of that, I try to talk to her about it but I don't know how to bring up the conversation without upsetting her. I tell her how it's unhealthy and it could hurt her but she keeps doing it anyway. I even told the school counselor and he didn't even do anything. I really try to talk her out of hurting herself like this but she just wont listen to me and im starting to give up.
I don't really want to get involved in the things she is doing (I never would.) But she doesn't try to make me do anything and I really want to help her.
I don't think there's anything else I can do.
@Indigo Summers, like the song here says, Pray to God he hears you. He does. Just listen for that still, small voice
How'd everything turn out with your friend?
Oh wow, I'm liking this new video format! :D This song brings back memories, I remember hearing this song and loving it even though I had no idea what it was singing about, because I couldn't understand English yet.
Thanks, CT! Oh, that's so cool. What's your original language?
The Pop Song Professor It's called Tagalog. It's a language from the Philippines.
Oh, yeah, I've heard of it. I've had some friends from the Philippines, and I used to live in Okinawa, Japan, so we were close!
I'm having a difficult day. My people are telling me I need to do better and they don't see me trying. But I've trying really hard. I've been doing my best. But depression is debilitating af.
Listening to this song, I identify as the one who needs to be saved. My people have followed the manual and I think it's not helping. But I know it's hard for them and they're doing their best as well. I don't know. I hate my situation so much.
By the way, could you do Skinny Love?
It’ll be all good bro, depression is hard and many times u can find yourself wondering what’s the point and that the world might just be better without u, there are always people who care about u dude and the first step is by clearing your mind, an easy way to do this is going on walks, plug in your headphones and just vibe, if u feel like it won’t help trust me, I’m a total attention seeker but sometimes when u don’t even realize it u need some time alone, u are wanted and u are important dude, everything will be ok ❤️
I am SO glad you did this... I never really knew anything about The Fray, but I have this song and You Found Me on my iTunes, just because I like how they sound. Never really noticed the verses in this one though, and never questioned what the chorus meant. Now, the song is REAL to me, holds tons of meaning and makes me cry. And knowing that they are Christians as well makes me want to dig deeper into the album and group. Thanks for that :)
Honestly, I am semi-religious now, I didn't believe in any religion at the time I first heard this song. The line 'pray to God he hears you' still hit a chord with me even though I wasn't religious at the time. Because I didn't take it as 'oh this is a religion thing, blah blah blah.' NOW I absolutely COULD see it both ways, but that line back then just made me feel like it was saying, "This is something that you literally can only hope this person does what you're trying to get them to. It's ultimately THEIR choice whether to listen to you or not, and you have NO say in the actual path they wind up choosing. It's out of your hands."
And by the way, if you try to look to some thought provoking songs, then You should check out Marina and the Diamonds - Savages Just saying.
Yeah, Marina's pretty good! I've been listening to her recently.
Totally! I actually think, that she's one of the few lyrical geniuses out there and that her new music in the future might be also much more influential (as it was until this time). But still, who knows. We will see. :)
Yaaas
I understand and feel every word of this song so much. My dad is going through exactly what this kid was going through with addiction and a downward spiral that's pretty well destroying everything and every relationship in his life. I have been the guy (the you) in this song for two years. So much so that I taught myself to sing and play it acoustic so I can sing it to myself. I have so much respect for how accurately this song portrays the experience of trying to help someone who seems so impossible to help.
OH MY GOD I'VE ALWAYS LOVED THIS SONG BUT THE LYRICS ALWAYS MADE ME CRAZY
I used to hate the song and didn't know the lyrics. After reading the lyrics and the meaning of the song it changed everything. Now I really like it. Just that change of prospective moved my feelings towards the song. Maybe we can do that with more things in our life.
U are so right so I'm going to go sing this at church
Can you do The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script?
Oh, that's a GOOOD song!
@@ThePopSongProfessor Breakeven the script
I love this song because that person with the drug problem sitting in front of their family was me and this song came out shortly after I went to rehab so it means the world to me.
Wow, I’ve listened to this song basically since it was released and always sort of understood what it was about, but it was explained so much better in this video. I think I love it even more now! Thank you!
Re: your take on "between the lines of fear and blame". You assign that line to the "he", but I've often assigned them to the "you". "as he goes left and you stay right between the lines of fear and blame" the "you" is keeping the conversation car in between the lines, on the road to a productive conversation. if the conversation tips over into fear or blame, it'll derail/crash/go off the road and they won't get anywhere.
And I think it's not only the "he"'s fear that we're talking about here... I don't think the song has a close perspective on the "he". I think it's only the "you" that has a tight enough POV that we are getting emotions/thoughts from them. So I think the "you" who started this conversation is the one with the fear (that the "he" will continue on his path/hurt himself/die/leave etc, it's a fear of loss) but also the one who is trying to stay out of blame. Addiction is a tricky thing, because the addict both is and is not in control of the situation. Technically, they are the only ones with the control, and sometimes friends/family/etc just want to shake them or slap them or whatever and tell them to stop! cut it out! can't they see what they're doing to themselves??? why won't they stop??? and blame all the strife on the addict. But at the same time, addiction is often a disease or disorder, and something the addict /doesn't/ have control over, and it's not helpful to blame/shame the addict. That just makes them feel worthless or defensive, and doesn't do anything to spark change.
So "he" is the addict, looking away, not wanting this conversation to happen and "you" are the one pushing for the convo to happen, and also policing it, and yourself, to make sure you keep it productive and don't give in to your fear of the behavior/addiction or your anger/instinct to assign blame somewhere.
you come to agreement with me in the second verse, the bit about "slip past his defense without granting innocence". That the "you" has to be able to guide the conversation in a way that neither feels accusatory, laying all the blame on the "he" who might then get defensive, but also doesn't blame /just/ the substance, thereby granting "innocence". There is a conflict in the "you", and there needs to be a lot of awareness and caution in how they speak... because if they make a mistake, or are making a mistake, or say things wrong, then they'll lose the chance.
With that in mind, I think the lines "let him know that you know best, 'cause after all you do know best" can be genuine, sure, since "you" can see the problem/addiction more clearly than "he" can... but also, those lines just feel sarcastic, especially the second one. They feel as much Cautionary as genuine, letting the "you" hear how arrogant that can sound, maybe Showing them rather than Telling them that they need to be careful, because coming off as So Superior isn't going to help "you" convince him of anything.
There was a girl at my school who was constantly bullied. She was poor, and in elementary...kids are cruel. They made fun of how her hair was always tangled (her mom wouldn’t comb her hair for her), how skinny she was(not enough food on her plate), how dirty her clothes were. She was like a little sister to me...she was one grade below me.
I wasn’t too young to know how to defend a victim of bullying, but I was too young to try and understand where this would lead to. She sobbed. Every. Single. Day. And I defended her in any way I could.
Then her birthday game. Her mom must have told her to invite them all because some of the kid showed up. They stuck around until the bday candy bags were distributed, then they left instantly. They never even talked to her, or played with her.
I didn’t matter how many days had passed, they continued harassing her. Calling her ugly, poor, gross. I guess near the end of that year she had enough, because she disappeared. Vanished even. I haven’t seen her since, and this was over 7 years ago.
Where I’m from, when a student in your class leaves the school, or passes away, your teacher will announce it to the class. The catch, she wasn’t in my class, or my grade. I was never told what happened to her.
To this day, after over 7 years ago, I think about her every. Single. Day. I get flashbacks of our times together(which was me yelling at her bullies and her crying behind me, there was never any good times). And I have to wonder, what happened to her? Did she move? Did she transfer schools? Or did she commit suicide?(children her age have done it before look it up). It kills me...every...single...day.
Her name was Bridget. I never got her last name(I was a kid we didn’t ask about last names) and I never got her number(she lived in a camper). I went to HPCS Elementary, in Tantallon, Nova Scotia.
I remember confronting people the next year at school, and I remember them saying “oh her? Yeah she was ugly and weird” and instead of defending her, I just said “yeah...gross”. I BEAT myself up over it EVERY DAY. If she had taken her own life, how DARE I join them. Bridget.
I will say her name, always. I will keep my eye out in hopes of finding someone that looks like her, always.
I finally found the meaning of this song right before I watched this video. I know someone that's battling addiction and I listened to it. And it's similar to conversations I had with them
Could you explain "Dare you to move" by Switchfoot?
Yes!
That's a good one!
please do switchfoot songs
You should look at doing Savages by Marina and the Diamonds or Little Game by Benny. Both are really meaningful.
This beautiful song really helped me gone through the tough and miserable times during the Covid lockdown in 2020 and now it’s almost 2023 and I’m still loving it although it brings me back those sad memories
Owl city: Anthem of a bird with a broken wing!
Owl City would be good!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I had know idea what the song was about that.
Thank you for suggesting it!
No problem!
I would love to see Jesus of Suburbia by Green Day broken dow. It's regarded by many fans as their best song, and has some really interesting lyrics.
Anyway, great video. Knowing the context of the song, the chorus could definitely be referencing an overdose rather than a suicide.
Thanks, Tamerlein! And good suggestion! I think some Green Day is definitely in order.
Yeah, I guessed as much, is it hard for some? This came out when my good friend died of cancer so I always think of that time. Great song, a lot of great songs that year too!
I used to listen to this song everytime me and my friend wouldn't talk to each other...then he died in 2022. So it went to meaning one thing to meaning something completely different.
I didn't know how he died but if I knew he was sick or going thru something i would of been there. But I didn't know..he died unexpectedly. I felt helpless so this song touches me
I always thought of this as a love/loss song. It's amazing how the lyrics are interpreted by different people in completely different ways from the artists original intention. I think I'm gonna go on interpreting it the way I used to tho lol
How To Save A Life was a song that got me through a lot of crap, and is still is one of my favorites.
Do more Fray songs!
I use to listen to this late at nigh walking home smoking alot of newports missing so many ppl, still miss them
I always thought this song was about a break up. This explanation just makes me feel it in my heart even more
I love this song. You Found Me is deep, too.
Great explanation, one of my favourite songs
Glad you liked it!
Love the interpretation! So easy to understand by the way he explains it! Plus it helps that the songs so beautifully done...
Such a great and thoughtful song!
Always thought this was about a suicide. Had 2 good friends lost to suicides and this just fit with those experiences. Over 12 years ago for both. Never 1 day I haven’t missed both. Never to see them again.
Remember hearing it first in Grey's Anatomy. Was pretty sad and touching.
such a good song. The kid actually was in the same boarding school i was in - and they go to a summer camp every summer for a bit. I always loved hearing from the employees that the song was about the kid from my school. very interesting.
Explain back in the usa by green day
Green Day is so good!
The Pop Song Professor i know right
I thought that song was about someone LOSING faith in God. The way the song was structured to me and around the time I started thinking of the lyrics, I always thought it was this person talking to God or their parents about losing faith. Granted, in middle school I was seriously questioning my religion and stuff, so I put myself in the shoes of the one needing to be talked to instead of the one talking.
For me it represents how i lost the chance at the life i wanted.. I lost my best friend somewhere along the way..
Awesome review very well thought out.
You were a little bit late to post this the song came out in 2006 lol
I needed this explanation.
Now I like the song even more.
Love what you had to say. Thank you. I'm also reminded of Imagine Dragons "Demons" talking about the that we struggle with ie; addiction, depression, anger..ect
Extremely studied and insightful breakdown. First time on this channel. Subbed.
This song always makes me cry, my fiance in 2005 took his life in jail after he was falsy accused.. Drug overdose
@Sandy, my deepest condolences to you. It’s sad what this world has turned into, but God
I love the way how you put the lyrical content of the song in your video visually in script, you should do it more often :)
Oh, yeah? I really enjoyed filming it that way too! I'm trying a few new things, but I think I might use this more often!
I love this vid! (and few more from u i watched recently) u got a new sub btw
Thank you for this❤️
So welcome!
Thank you for this wonderful analysis
I don't think it's necessarily about suicide when he says 'lost a friend' or 'how to save life' but just the fact that this third person he's trying to speak to is beyond saving and recovery and lost to his / her addiction / vice and is a lost cause in ways.
The first time I heard this song was sixth grade, I don't think I understood what it was about the first time I heard it. That year I learned what this song was about.
I always felt it was a break up song
Look at the window glass, you can see the camera
I saw “the lines of fear and blame” in v1 the same way you saw “granting innocence” in v2 as the narrator’s attempt to confront the person, and I feel like this makes the pronoun use (you vs he) make more sense
Great song, and I can see how it would apply to both drug addiction and depression/suicide
I wish when you read the lines, the song also heard in the background. Or at least a snippet of it ❤
I love it and I understood it from the beginning 😌 addition is very hurtful too all it touches
I get the point in this but alot if what your explaining the metaphorical. The chorus is the person helping. It's hard to explain but if you have ever dealt with someone you loved deep into addiction your always torn on making the choice of helping or leaving and not knowing what's best. Finishing by saying they would had don't anything they could had. The death part is probably more about overdosing than suicide but it's definitely interchangeable. For such a deep song this was really kinda a very superficial explanation. Not that he did a bad job, it's probably just hard to describe especially if you haven't been in this situation.
I think there's a bit of a hard pill to swallow in this song, between the chorus and that third verse: no matter how hard you try, you can't save everyone.
"Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would've stayed up with you all night,
had I known how to save a life"
The narrator is beating himself up over the fact that, despite thinking he did everything right, he still failed to save his friend. He's stuck in a loop of "What if I had done this? What about that?" But then we get to verse three,
"Grant him one last choice
[...]
He will do one of two things:
he will admit to everything,
or he'll say he's just not the same"
The "instruction manual" practically says "At this point, the matter is out of your hands. You've done everything you can, and now whether he lives or dies is up to him." It's natural to feel terrible over losing a friend, especially if it feels like there was something you could've done to save him. But in the end, there's only so much one given individual can do. It's frustrating, but it's something we have to live with. It kind of reminds me of the serenity prayer in a way:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
It's not a perfect connection, but I think the idea is there. At the end of the day, you do everything you can, and hope to God it's enough.
Who is listening in the end of 2020 Merry Christmas
Great video as always... This old video of yours came up in my recommended feed (I've been subscribed for a while now), but I love this song by The Fray. I'm wondering if you could do another video on another song by The Fray: Over My Head? It's been a favorite of mine for a long time and I would love to hear your take on it!
this song reminds me of my dad, we havent had a very good relstionship
Just stumbled on to your vids, loving the content! I have a suggestion for a new vid. Paulo nutini iron sky. It's a self explanatory song but your in depth look would be highly appreciated. Keep up the good work
Interesting, I know some atheists like this song despite its Christian origins. Just goes to show how powerful this message really is.
@Matthew Adams
I never said that, why would you even bring up something unrelated to what I said? My comment still holds true and the song is still a powerful message.
That’s what makes music beautiful it’s universal.
Isaac and the band are legends
(Fair warning, this is sorta long?)
Oh gosh thank you so much! I've wanted to make an animatic on this song since last week when I discovered it again but I didn't know what to do with it. This video is definitely enlightening and helps me with the storyboarding!
Gonna be honest, I squealed a bit when you mentioned the connection between 'How to Save a Life' and 'Friend, Please' because of how attached I am the TØP's music (specifically Self Titled)
Again, thank you for your excellent explanation, I'm definitely interested in looking at some more of your content!
I'm glad you liked it, and I hope to see you in the comments more hereafter. :)
Thank u soo much for this
Good work! Can you do Waterfall by With Confidence?
I haven't heard of that!
dudeeeee Ima second this, one of my favourite songs lol
this is a great explanation of the song and I really appreciate the way he broke it all down. however I dont really agree with what he said at the end. music doesn’t have a purpose. music is music. it’s okay to write catchy singles because tbh we sometimes need music that doesn’t make us think. we need music to just scream to in the car. but we also need music that does connect with the soul and speaks honestly. but every soul is different, and speaking honestly means something different to everyone. idk. I think that all types of music are valid, it just depends on the situation if you really think about it n
My favorite song by them is this one and Little House
Can you send me the link to that quote at the end
I just took it wayyyyy to sad and it made me dreppesed beyond salvation.
Rip johnathan
wait this is 3 am content... im uhhh 16 hours too early
When I first heard the song I thought this was the meaning: someone in a long term deep relationship gets into a heated argument. The relationship ends one of person of the couple commits suicide from depression of the breakup. This song is how bad the significant other in the relationships felt afterwards. How the argument could have been solved and how he could have prevented the other from committing suicide.
I always just began to hate the song as I grew older and realized there wasn't anyone in my life who would stay up with me to try and save my life. And I just began to close myself off, the only way to not get in that state of mind was to just never think of it.
Do the song demons from Imagine Dragons!! You think it is a good song?
I do like that song a lot! You're full of good suggestions!
Yes I love the meaning of songs and I just want to hear your opinion.
Cuz there really good.
Great analysis. Hope you get to analyze, “Kyoto”, by Phoebe Bridgers. It has great alliteration.
you should explain No Way Out by As It Is. It's so honest and stylisctically on point.
Oh, yeah! That's a cool band! Listening now!
The bridge of that song amazes me everytime I hear it. Also, like with twenty one pilots, if you only listen to the music you wouldn't know how serious the lyrics are.
So glad you did this song! I’d love to see you analyze something by Florence and the Machine (Dog Days are Over, Rabbit Heart, Shake it Out)
I love Florence and the Machine!
i agree with u except for on what music should be. i like the different types of music wheather they have some serious meaning or not. like how u gotta love ray stevens ;) and i love worship songs and songs like the kind skillet writes where u can inturpret what the songs are about.
Music wants Change
Dang... 2:18 addictions become a norm for peeps to hear of or experience ig... that is jind of cjange things imho... kind of is like a epiphany iirc is when one has all of a sudden feeling of relisation or whatever ykwis?
I thought you was going to say something else other than Wikipedia's info...
Btw do one about little talks by of monsters and men please
Wikipedia is not so nearly opinionated as me. :)
I couldn't quite make out what you said, what is it called when a songwriter ends the line in the middle of a sentence?
Thank you for doing this song. I was apart of your weeknd subscribe wave but stopped watching untill recently. Good work
I actually remember your username. Those were good times. :)
I WAIT A VIDEO ABOUT SONG ONE MORE LIGHT💔💔💔
I love this video but he is literally Ned from the Simpsons
Wind by akeboshi
Can you please do “Say (all I need)” - OneRepublic. I just need some with a clear perspective. Thank you.