"Deal with it when it happens" is great advice. Reminds me of a quote from a great movie, "Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due."
Thanks for sharing that - such a great quote! It’s easier said than done in anxiety and ocd recovery but of course nothing worthwhile is ever easy or overnight!
not to put any other of the amazing content creators on this channel down, but Jade is definitely my favourite and I feel she really explains and gives understanding to each topic
Thank you for your very kind comment, you’ll go to my head! That said, I wouldn’t know any of this if it weren’t for Rob and the OCD Recovery team - just passing on what I learnt ❤ thank you nonetheless
Thank you. This was very helpful and so encouraging to hear it from someone who has lived it. It's not always easy to remember to let go of the need for certainty when we are doubting ourselves, it's seems counter intuitive, but you are proof it's not 🙂
The doubt is brutal. I get stuck in such rumination loops once an OCD worry latches on. So hard to explain to people who don't have it. Like being told you have cancer from the doctor, during your day it's always in the back of your head. Same with whatever worry latches on.
Is there anyone dealing with feeling like you're forgetting who people are? I keep having intrusive thoughts about doubting and forgetting who people I've always known including myself and I start to get paranoid because I'm so scared of it actually being something related to cognitive decline 😞 but I really hope it's just the stupid OCD 😣
Hi Jade, just wanted to say that I really have enjoyed the videos lately. What types of things do you still work at to stay emotionally healthy? Even though you are recovered it sounds like you just don’t coast a long through life without taking care of yourself. Maybe another way of saying it is do you have a care plan for yourself today? Not that I’m near recovery but I think it helps to not look for a day when I ride off into the sunset OCD free.
When you're recovered, you don't need to have a very active care plan on a daily basis as rational thinking, unconditional acceptance and not being overwhelmed by fear become second nature. Dealing with struggles that come in life becomes easier and smoother. The only ongoing care that you have to adopt is to not slip into old compulsive habits even if at times fear might try to latch on again. Like an alcoholic staying alcohol free after sobriety.
Hey Aaron, I’ll cover your question in my next Q&A and I did recently put out a self care and ocd video which may cover some of this ground. In a nutshell there is a bit of that glorious free feeling that feels like when I was 5 on Christmas Eve like I had always imagined but there’s a bit of upkeep purely in the sense that if lots of bad habits in life structure and becoming less rational in how I’m viewing the world , ocd has a bit of a base to be able to start the cycle over but it doesn’t tend to get to that place due to all the work I did 😊
To accept the possibility of the worst-case scenario indeed helps not obsessing about ways to avoiding it. If I serenely accept the possibility of an accident, it’s easier to board an airplane. However, for me, it’s not enough. I need to know that I took reasonable precautions to avoid the worst-case scenario (for example, my child dying because I administered the wrong medication). The knowledge that I took reasonable precautions to avoid the worst-case scenario gives me hope that it would be easier to get over it, and therefore helps me keep the checking (or worrying, deliberating, etc.) to a reasonable level. This is my personal experience.
@@OCDRecovery Good point! However, there is generally a consensus on what is considered reasonable precautions in a particular situation. For instance, hospitals require checking medication 3 times before administering it to a patient. And focussing on what you’re doing helps you trust your memory. This allows you to gain certainty beyond a reasonable doubt, which is sufficient in the eyes of any court. Next, there is a need to determine what is proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Lifchus, supra, at para 31 says that “it does not involve proof to an absolute certainty; it is not proof beyond any doubt nor is it an imaginary or frivolous doubt." So, at one point one’s judgment has to be exercised to distinguish between a reasonable doubt and an “imaginary or frivolous doubt”, which is especially difficult (but not impossible) for a highly conscientious mind and when the stakes are high, as you mention in your video. Overthinking makes that choice impossible. Other factors (a clear conscience, dedramatizing, good morale, positive past experiences, momentum, habituation, etc.) make that choice possible. Advice from legal texts is also useful: “The standard of "reasonable doubt" consists of a doubt based on reason and common sense which must be logically based upon the evidence or lack of evidence”. So, if when you said “accepting that maybe you didn’t take reasonable precautions is the key there”, you meant “recognizing and dismissing a possible frivolous doubt that I didn’t take reasonable precautions is the key there”, I totally agree with you. I also completely agree with you when you suggest that OCD recovery involves a choice “Am I going to spend 15 years wondering or am I going to make peace?” I guess it’s human nature to find it difficult to accept that timely choices have to be made in life, that you can’t have everything, but it’s worth it in the end.
@@jadet1337 Hi Jade. Thank you so much for sharing these valuable videos. I was wondering if you believe there is a correlation between OCD and autism? Do you think it’s possible to be misdiagnosed autistic but in reality suffer from severe OCD which makes you appear with symptoms of autism? I haven’t been diagnosed with either (yet), but looking into it. Best wishes, Marie
Biggest doubt at the moment when I feel so much better is how it will be without the medication. I started med very early in my OCD journey and I had positive results and though I know that they're not entirely related to that, as I have done much inner work, still I fear the side effects of stopping meds, especially that i am still on high dosage (almost a year now)
Meds aren't necessary and you can come off of them with the help of your doctor. We've also done a few videos on this channel regarding meds and fear of taking meds.
Hi Gioele, if you’re working with specialists who you’re confident are really understanding your ocd and how to get to recovery and alongside that you’ve expressed to your doctor that you’d like a plan to come off medication in line with making progress with your recovery then this should be entirely possible 😊
I'm terrified of trying meds. I'm 42 and have had OCD from 9 or 10 years old. NOT having an OCD worry (whatever the theme of the week is) would feel so liberating, yet weird at this point.
Really informative, Currently having therapy for ocd. Have suffered with anxiety, agrophobia before and got well and enjoyed life but Lock down triggered some rumination which turned into ocd about past events and find hard to break the cycle and comes in waves and moves onto the next thing. How to lessen the physical side effects? I tend to want a hat on or hood up and clasp jaw when in public and tensing.
Hi Daz , I’ll cover your question in my upcoming Q&A video - just in a nutshell tho - you’ve already gotten far better once which means you can do it again! Lock down affected so so many people with ocd and anxiety! I’d start with some exposures that feel challenging but not impossible like some of the things you mentioned, feeling the very difficult feelings and doing the exposure anyway while getting started on the reading list as shared by this channel and maybe join a webinar?
Hey jade is it possible ocd can make you doubt your career choices and convinces you that you choose the wrong one and urge you to take a drop out of it. Please answer jade please
My husband is wonderful but now during OCD I have images and thoughts of him as opposite than he is in reality. That thoughts push me away from him. I don't want to have that awful thoughts or believe them. How to get rid of them?
Hi there I’ll cover this in my next video - your ocd knows you love your husband and so it’s a nice spot for it to get to work! The more you want to adore him the tighter it grips, I made peace with my fears around who my husband is or was and realised I could live with that reality and so I wasn’t as obsessed with it being true or not - this would definitely help as you’ll never get certainty or relief x
I wonder if you've made a video about what was the turning point for you where you started to be able to break the OCD loop? I'll probably just listen to all your videos and find the answer myself 😂 Thanks Jade for sharing your thoughts and lived experience!
How do I accept something like horrible intrusive thoughts towards my kids? It feels very real and I don’t know how to accept what my brain is telling me. I can’t accept it yet once I feel good about it that it’s ocd is just make me keep doubting
Really nice video. Ocd may turn into R ocd (relationsgip ocd) yoi doubt if you love your SO or not. By exposing your srlf to thing you dont want it(izay yes i dont love her) then my ocd dies immedietaly
I’m really sorry but I think you’re oversimplifying it and giving an explanation (to those friends that you spoke with) that really minimises the power of OCD and your saying things that you would once have found really triggering and upsetting to hear from someone else. On one hand you’re telling us that you worked really hard to overcome this and on the other you’re telling people that ask about it that you “just” (hold one you said you had to work REALLY hard at this and now you’re using “just”) learned to stop being scared of things. It’s upsetting to hear someone who’s been through this dismissing their former self (and by proxy other ocd sufferers) in this way. What I think with OCD is that it’s like two people in one body. The one person is completely rational and in no illusion as to the reality of a situation, but the other person inside you is in fight, flight or freeze. This other person steps in and pushes the rational you out of the way. Speaks over them. This frantic person (who is essentially a frightened child) is around more when we are rundown, overwhelmed, overworked, overloaded, underloaded, put under significant pressure, unsupported, alone, in an unstructured, unstable situation and affected by who is in our lives, how they treat us and how they react and other health issues that then lead to more stress and more being rundown. Added to that there are hormonal changes, family changes, changes in circumstances, death, grief and everything in between. So many factors. By the grace of god (just a metaphor - not religious) go those that end up on the right medication, with the right support, with any support, able to move forward. And I doubt that I even have OCD. Am I doubting because I don’t have it or I don’t want it. I actually don’t know 🤷♀️
"Deal with it when it happens" is great advice. Reminds me of a quote from a great movie, "Worry is like interest paid in advance on a debt that never comes due."
Thanks for sharing that - such a great quote! It’s easier said than done in anxiety and ocd recovery but of course nothing worthwhile is ever easy or overnight!
Great video. It's amazing how all of us that have "OCD" brains latch on to these similar topics. Thank you for explaining this in such great detail.
not to put any other of the amazing content creators on this channel down, but Jade is definitely my favourite and I feel she really explains and gives understanding to each topic
I'm retiring from my video making after this comment. 😂
Thank you for your very kind comment, you’ll go to my head! That said, I wouldn’t know any of this if it weren’t for Rob and the OCD Recovery team - just passing on what I learnt ❤ thank you nonetheless
Thank you. This was very helpful and so encouraging to hear it from someone who has lived it. It's not always easy to remember to let go of the need for certainty when we are doubting ourselves, it's seems counter intuitive, but you are proof it's not 🙂
This is why this channel exists - to give people hope on their journeys!
Hi Belinda, I’m so pleased it was useful. I’ve definitely lived it and can see clear as day how much doubt played into my life and ocd ❤
The doubt is brutal. I get stuck in such rumination loops once an OCD worry latches on. So hard to explain to people who don't have it. Like being told you have cancer from the doctor, during your day it's always in the back of your head. Same with whatever worry latches on.
Thanks, that was very helpful. A lot of ideas that I'd not come across before.
These videos are really insightful Jade. Thank you for your bravery and putting your experiences out there to help other people. Cheers from NY, USA
Is there anyone dealing with feeling like you're forgetting who people are? I keep having intrusive thoughts about doubting and forgetting who people I've always known including myself and I start to get paranoid because I'm so scared of it actually being something related to cognitive decline 😞 but I really hope it's just the stupid OCD 😣
Yes!!! I’ve had that intrusive thought for 4 years now. I just started therapy last month. I really hope it doesn’t run your life like it has mine.
Exactly I am going through this right now .
I am even doubting by subconscious on everything.
Because subconscious is only giving intrusive thoughts
“How did you get better from OCD?”
“I just learned not to be scared of the things that OCD was latching to.”
💙
8:54
Absolutely Andy!
It’s a nice simple explanation! I always liked it! Thanks for the comment Andy 😊
Even red flags on a blood test totally sets me off in anxiety
Jade thank you so much ☺️
You’re so welcome LUIS 😊
Loved and needed this - thanks Jade.
Hi Jade, just wanted to say that I really have enjoyed the videos lately. What types of things do you still work at to stay emotionally healthy? Even though you are recovered it sounds like you just don’t coast a long through life without taking care of yourself. Maybe another way of saying it is do you have a care plan for yourself today? Not that I’m near recovery but I think it helps to not look for a day when I ride off into the sunset OCD free.
When you're recovered, you don't need to have a very active care plan on a daily basis as rational thinking, unconditional acceptance and not being overwhelmed by fear become second nature. Dealing with struggles that come in life becomes easier and smoother. The only ongoing care that you have to adopt is to not slip into old compulsive habits even if at times fear might try to latch on again. Like an alcoholic staying alcohol free after sobriety.
Hey Aaron, I’ll cover your question in my next Q&A and I did recently put out a self care and ocd video which may cover some of this ground. In a nutshell there is a bit of that glorious free feeling that feels like when I was 5 on Christmas Eve like I had always imagined but there’s a bit of upkeep purely in the sense that if lots of bad habits in life structure and becoming less rational in how I’m viewing the world , ocd has a bit of a base to be able to start the cycle over but it doesn’t tend to get to that place due to all the work I did 😊
This was wonderful thank you
To accept the possibility of the worst-case scenario indeed helps not obsessing about ways to avoiding it. If I serenely accept the possibility of an accident, it’s easier to board an airplane. However, for me, it’s not enough. I need to know that I took reasonable precautions to avoid the worst-case scenario (for example, my child dying because I administered the wrong medication). The knowledge that I took reasonable precautions to avoid the worst-case scenario gives me hope that it would be easier to get over it, and therefore helps me keep the checking (or worrying, deliberating, etc.) to a reasonable level. This is my personal experience.
Accepting that maybe you didn’t is 🔑 here
@@OCDRecovery
Good point! However, there is generally a consensus on what is considered reasonable precautions in a particular situation. For instance, hospitals require checking medication 3 times before administering it to a patient. And focussing on what you’re doing helps you trust your memory. This allows you to gain certainty beyond a reasonable doubt, which is sufficient in the eyes of any court. Next, there is a need to determine what is proof beyond a reasonable doubt. Lifchus, supra, at para 31 says that “it does not involve proof to an absolute certainty; it is not proof beyond any doubt nor is it an imaginary or frivolous doubt." So, at one point one’s judgment has to be exercised to distinguish between a reasonable doubt and an “imaginary or frivolous doubt”, which is especially difficult (but not impossible) for a highly conscientious mind and when the stakes are high, as you mention in your video. Overthinking makes that choice impossible. Other factors (a clear conscience, dedramatizing, good morale, positive past experiences, momentum, habituation, etc.) make that choice possible. Advice from legal texts is also useful: “The standard of "reasonable doubt" consists of a doubt based on reason and common sense which must be logically based upon the evidence or lack of evidence”.
So, if when you said “accepting that maybe you didn’t take reasonable precautions is the key there”, you meant “recognizing and dismissing a possible frivolous doubt that I didn’t take reasonable precautions is the key there”, I totally agree with you. I also completely agree with you when you suggest that OCD recovery involves a choice “Am I going to spend 15 years wondering or am I going to make peace?” I guess it’s human nature to find it difficult to accept that timely choices have to be made in life, that you can’t have everything, but it’s worth it in the end.
love your videos Jade. This was such a great explanation
Thanks as always Patty, always nice to know you’re watching 😊
@@jadet1337 Hi Jade. Thank you so much for sharing these valuable videos. I was wondering if you believe there is a correlation between OCD and autism? Do you think it’s possible to be misdiagnosed autistic but in reality suffer from severe OCD which makes you appear with symptoms of autism? I haven’t been diagnosed with either (yet), but looking into it.
Best wishes,
Marie
Biggest doubt at the moment when I feel so much better is how it will be without the medication. I started med very early in my OCD journey and I had positive results and though I know that they're not entirely related to that, as I have done much inner work, still I fear the side effects of stopping meds, especially that i am still on high dosage (almost a year now)
Meds aren't necessary and you can come off of them with the help of your doctor. We've also done a few videos on this channel regarding meds and fear of taking meds.
Hi Gioele, if you’re working with specialists who you’re confident are really understanding your ocd and how to get to recovery and alongside that you’ve expressed to your doctor that you’d like a plan to come off medication in line with making progress with your recovery then this should be entirely possible 😊
I'm terrified of trying meds. I'm 42 and have had OCD from 9 or 10 years old. NOT having an OCD worry (whatever the theme of the week is) would feel so liberating, yet weird at this point.
Thanks a lot for.sharing insights
You’re very welcome 😊
Really informative, Currently having therapy for ocd. Have suffered with anxiety, agrophobia before and got well and enjoyed life but Lock down triggered some rumination which turned into ocd about past events and find hard to break the cycle and comes in waves and moves onto the next thing. How to lessen the physical side effects? I tend to want a hat on or hood up and clasp jaw when in public and tensing.
Hi Daz , I’ll cover your question in my upcoming Q&A video - just in a nutshell tho - you’ve already gotten far better once which means you can do it again! Lock down affected so so many people with ocd and anxiety! I’d start with some exposures that feel challenging but not impossible like some of the things you mentioned, feeling the very difficult feelings and doing the exposure anyway while getting started on the reading list as shared by this channel and maybe join a webinar?
Hey jade is it possible ocd can make you doubt your career choices and convinces you that you choose the wrong one and urge you to take a drop out of it. Please answer jade please
My husband is wonderful but now during OCD I have images and thoughts of him as opposite than he is in reality. That thoughts push me away from him. I don't want to have that awful thoughts or believe them. How to get rid of them?
Hey! So the more we want them gone the more they have the upper hand. We cover this a lot on different ROCD videos.
Hi there I’ll cover this in my next video - your ocd knows you love your husband and so it’s a nice spot for it to get to work! The more you want to adore him the tighter it grips, I made peace with my fears around who my husband is or was and realised I could live with that reality and so I wasn’t as obsessed with it being true or not - this would definitely help as you’ll never get certainty or relief x
I wonder if you've made a video about what was the turning point for you where you started to be able to break the OCD loop? I'll probably just listen to all your videos and find the answer myself 😂 Thanks Jade for sharing your thoughts and lived experience!
Thank you for posting
How do I accept something like horrible intrusive thoughts towards my kids? It feels very real and I don’t know how to accept what my brain is telling me. I can’t accept it yet once I feel good about it that it’s ocd is just make me keep doubting
Can you tell please about POCD, fears of pregnancy, etc..
I definitely can, I’ll add this to my list. The biggest thing to say is “if you want to be a parent, don’t ever let ocd get in the way of that” ❤❤❤
14:25
9:19
THANK YOU
But what about being scared of your partner getting ill and dying
Really nice video. Ocd may turn into R ocd (relationsgip ocd) yoi doubt if you love your SO or not. By exposing your srlf to thing you dont want it(izay yes i dont love her) then my ocd dies immedietaly
I’m really sorry but I think you’re oversimplifying it and giving an explanation (to those friends that you spoke with) that really minimises the power of OCD and your saying things that you would once have found really triggering and upsetting to hear from someone else. On one hand you’re telling us that you worked really hard to overcome this and on the other you’re telling people that ask about it that you “just” (hold one you said you had to work REALLY hard at this and now you’re using “just”) learned to stop being scared of things.
It’s upsetting to hear someone who’s been through this dismissing their former self (and by proxy other ocd sufferers) in this way.
What I think with OCD is that it’s like two people in one body. The one person is completely rational and in no illusion as to the reality of a situation, but the other person inside you is in fight, flight or freeze. This other person steps in and pushes the rational you out of the way. Speaks over them.
This frantic person (who is essentially a frightened child) is around more when we are rundown, overwhelmed, overworked, overloaded, underloaded, put under significant pressure, unsupported, alone, in an unstructured, unstable situation and affected by who is in our lives, how they treat us and how they react and other health issues that then lead to more stress and more being rundown. Added to that there are hormonal changes, family changes, changes in circumstances, death, grief and everything in between.
So many factors.
By the grace of god (just a metaphor - not religious) go those that end up on the right medication, with the right support, with any support, able to move forward. And I doubt that I even have OCD. Am I doubting because I don’t have it or I don’t want it. I actually don’t know 🤷♀️
But I doubt that usa exist or not 🤣
We can get comfortable with any doubt being true!