Hey everyone (Sam here) , just wanted to leave a note here that we read your comments and we hear and appreciate what you have to say. I believe that all the comments were valid, sexual harassment in the gaming industry for women is rampant and something that we should have discussed more. I do believe that OP's story concentrate more on her relationship with her friends and that is what Josh and I focused on. This caused us to become fixated on a part of the story that we shouldn't have. Thank you again for sharing your perspective because it allow us to broaden our horizons on topics that we can be pretty ignorant on.
Honestly here’s how I view it and I wanted to share. If a child may have a more difficult but full life, that’s one thing. But to have a child that’s not going to be able to, either because of severe, excruciating pain or premature passing, I feel that ethically allowing a pregnancy to develop and grow only for it to be snuffed out soon after birth is cruel. I would rather stop the pregnancy from developing before a conciseness develops than have a child who is excited to see and learn about the world only to to lose that so soon. Idk. That’s just something I think about. I feel like it’s more ethical to stop the development than it is to let a child who has a 99% likelihood of passing young develop consciousness, love, fear, etc. every child death I hear about anywhere in the world keeps me up at night. Toddlers are amazing little people and the natural world sucks so bad for allowing it to happen. Not to mention the pain of the parents. Maybe my thinking is clouded because I have a 2 year old myself and just thinking about it kills something in my core being. Idk but damn that one got to me. It got to me bad. The father sucks. I get that’s not what he agreed to and it sucks but it’s not the child’s fault and I feel like instead of thinking about this innocent life he used his absence to punish the mom into feeling bad when it really just punished the child who never asked to be born. People with disabilities bring so much to the world and have gifts and talents as we all do. They deserve to exist. But the reason I think it’s kinder to terminate a pregnancy where early fatality is certain is because a child doesn’t ask to be born and to bring them into existence just to hurt and leave so soon is cruel to them. And I can see how this thinking could become problematic, people bc hold start applying it to the most manageable disabilities like autism, which I have and live a decent life. that’s why I draw a hard line of almost certain early death, like toddlerhood. Not a slight higher chance, but an almost certain one. People are free to respond and challenge this. I’m always open to new ways of thinking.
this was the fakest apology I've ever seen, you clearly dont understand a thing from comment section, even your apology doesnt answers what the hell we are saying in the comments
I agreed with what was said I. The pod. everyone said she was right to feel that way but her actions were not ok. If a man said he was upset with his fiancé and yelled at her at 11pm at night while walking the dog in public, and accused him of not supporting her , the comments would be much different. You all should be allowed to disagree with a woman’s excessive reactions and point out how her behavior exacerbated the conflict. Her feelings were not the only ones that mattered in this story. Her actions hurt others too and if she she’s not improve how she communicates (take others perspective, take accountability, express her needs clearly, avoid name calling and accusations, keep emotions in check, forgive and move on) she will she will alienate herself from the very support system she will need to survive a very difficult industry. Stand on business
Hi sam! Here’s a comment that i already left but i wanted you to see it: Something i love about you guys is the way you guys can candidly correct each other. Having a podcast with a white woman and black men (and oftentimes woc) makes for really great, open conversations about your experiences and it’s really lovely to see you guys teach each other things in real time. I worry that as you guys get bigger, the correction from commenters does start to get more intense and I hope that doesn’t cause you guys to lose that rapport. Please don’t start getting scared to share your takes or feel attacked from harsh comments because the whole benefit of having such a diverse cast is the way you guys can learn from each other. You guys are actively normalizing making mistakes, and calling each other in without “canceling” one another. This is so important for our generation because people can be very rigid about letting people grow. I do, however, think it complicates things when bringing on white men who aren’t really speaking with consideration of what it’s like to be a woman, who then dominate the conversation. I think Josh had a bad influence on Sam’s takes during this episode, because the more Josh talked, the more Sam viewed it from his perspective. Honestly it doesn’t seem like Josh has issues with women, but speaking as a man didn’t realize the real harm of saying the story was “weird” or didn’t make sense. Also, i noticed this is most commonly an issue when it’s a mostly male cast for the episode. When it’s Madi, Brandon, and Sam, yeah it’s still male dominated but the connection goes far beyond that because when it’s just them they clearly want to hear from Madi. But when the guest is male and not super invested in women’s experiences, the dynamic shifts a lot and Madi’s points kind of get snuffed out. I love when the guest is a girl, because female guests almost always contribute so much to it rather than taking away from it like Josh did with this one.
@@rukiyearcan2192let’s simmer down here. i really think it’s a stretch to call it a fake apology. these are not famous people… these are regular friends who are correcting each other in real time. respectful correction and growth is so incredibly important, so let’s not bring that “you’re lying!!!” energy here. it is not and has never been the energy of this podcast. the whole point is that they can share their unique experiences with each other coming from different backgrounds.
Horrendous takes from josh and sam :/ to know she posted on girl gamers BECAUSE of people like josh and sam. I dont understand, she tried so hard to avoid an unnecessary opinion from someone who would never be able to relate. Shes a small streamer. Trying to pursue her dreams. If my family and friends did that id be devastated. Decided to take a break this episode, first story just left me not wanting to hear josh's mocking her with his voice anymore after both sam and brandon seem to agree with josh after. Love you maddie. ❤❤u hold this place down
Did Sam really just say "it's not even real, it's just a stream" when he literally sits on a couch with his friends reading and discussing other people's stories??? Bold.
He with that one statement disregarded anyone that has been sexually harassed or harassed in general online. That statement is invalidating to anyone that has gone through that. I don't think he realizes how fucked up it sounds though
LITERALLY heard that and felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I'm glad Brandon stepped in to redeem him a bit but that was a suuppeerr tone deaf thing to say lol.
I think Sam has to cope somehow with some of the backlash he gets from his comments. Outside of his little bubble nothing else is real- it doesn’t matter if his brash reactions hurt other people because they’re not real to him.
Hes talking out the side of his neck. He's like my dad; he just wants to stand out. Depending on what the story will be, he's just saying the opposite of what everyone else said or may say.
I usually don’t comment but Josh and Sam really messed up that take in the first story. Like…. She had every reason to be upset. If you had a friend who was putting on an open mic or stand up, would you go to heckle them just because that’s what big comedians go through? If it was in good faith and actively helped the stream yeah. But she lost viewers in the moment and then everyone is telling her she’s overreacting? After she made a blog, website and twitter?? Jeez
Exactly! The open mic or stand up is a great example because Sam was talking about how streaming is causing these made up problems and I immediately thought how wrong he was. If I had an in-person performance and friends start heckling me, I would be upset, even if it were just my hobby and not my job. Streaming is akin to a performance in this case.
I thought i was going crazy for agreeing with the girl from the 1st story bcs of the take sam and josh had. Im glad this comment section agrees with me 😭
True! But also it sucks that it’s normal to get harassment on streams. Especially small streamers who still experience it despite reaching a much smaller base. Comments like that seem even louder and more in your face with a small base.
Josh and Sam should really just stop talking. You have ZERO idea what it is to be a woman in a man’s world. This is one of those times that you just keep your yap shut. Unreal.
awful take on the first story, brandon and madi saved it. it’s one thing to joke like that in your group chat, it’s another to make distasteful jokes anonymously on a stream that the person is taking seriously and trying to grow. time and place is important
The guest's opinions were so terrible the first story. You can tell he's the kind of guy that doesn't care when women are getting harassed. To say you're "against who this person is" is crazy especially cuz everyone knows that female streamers get harassed frequently. She was allowed to be uncomfortable by what happened. Her friends doing that made it seem as the harassing her on stream is okay. I really wonder if you would have cared if she was getting sexually harassed in public. You wanted to play Devil's Advocate on a sensitive story way too much and that's weird behavior. The story was not that hard to follow if you just used your ears and listened instead of wanting to be overly critical of every single detail. Instead of looking at the bigger picture of this girl being harassed by her friends and being hurt by that you were wanting to point out every single little thing that you didn't understand. Which is very on point with women coming out about their sexual assault stories and people disregarding her because they were confused by a few tiny details
I was sexually harassed by a recruiter on LinkedIn because my email notification buried his response so far down that a week had passed- and me, being a nice person, felt bad that I hadn’t responded to his time/effort to send me that recruiting message. He tried to extort a better interview process by having me submit a “more encompassing head shot” It was literally wild
commenting again re: the disabled baby story. i am currently starting the process of IVF solely for the reason of genetically testing the embryos (no fertility issues). i have a genetic condition - marfan syndrome - and could not in good faith have a baby naturally knowing.they have a 50% chance of inheriting it. it has nothing to do with me not wanting to put in extra effort or resources to take care of them or me being ashamed of my condition. it’s because i have firsthand experience of the challenges that come with the condition and don’t want them for my child. i was bullied throughout childhood, leading to lifelong anxiety/self image issues. i’ve had full spinal fusion surgery, open heart surgery, and am slowly losing my vision (and im only 23 lol). i think people with no genetic concerns ‘designing a baby’ is relatively unethical, but i think parents with a high likelihood of passing something serious down are valid in their choice to prevent that if they are able. in my case, at least, i don’t see the thought process as ableist at all. in fact, i’ve developed a bit of a superiority complex from being praised for being intelligent (valedictorian in hs, magna cum laude in college) and attractive (my condition causes me to be very thin). i own my own condo at 23 and have a full time job in client relations. however, behind the scenes i am suffering with and consistently held back by the symptoms of my disorder. why wouldn’t i completely eliminate the possibility of that looming burden for my children?
I couldn’t agree with you more. I have a genetic disorder called Incontinentia pigmenti where if a male is a carrier for it they do not survive past birth. If a female is a carrier it affects their skin, teeth, and eyesight. We also went through IVF and we had to terminate a pregnancy (not an IVF pregnancy, it happened naturally) because the baby was a male and showed fluid in his lungs and behind his brain. While it was a tough decision my husband and I both agreed that we wouldn’t want him to suffer.
@@TheTwinkieState i’m sorry to hear that you both had to go through that, but i completely agree with you. i hope you were/will be successful in having a healthy baby.
@@angelicpossession aww thank you that’s very kind of you. We currently have a two year old and are in the process of starting IVF again. I hope it’s successful for you!
My brother had a gent orange syndrome after his grandfather fought in Vietnam. He wants children but can’t do it naturally because of the likely hood they would inherit his genetic malformations. Wanting your children to not inherit for disabilities isn’t ableist. Usually the only people who think it’s ableist are people who don’t have disabilities. I have fibro and endometriosis inherited from my mom and she wishes everyday she didn’t give me it.
Awful takes on the first post, it was explained twice that she wasnt "offended" by shocked pikachu, they already send something inappropriate and was worried it would be another inappropriate thing. Shes not asking for help either shes posting about girl gaming... in r/girlgaming about her friends being mean
100%!!!!!! it made more sense when that guest admitted in the next story that he didn’t want to raise a daughter and Im like “yeah that makes sense you didn’t have any empathy for this streamer” really telling
Dude when Josh was like “you’re getting offended by a pikachu face” that annoyed me so much. This dude can’t comprehend and connect the fact that, especially in the heat of the moment, ANY average person would probably expect any text photo to be profane if the previous ones were too. Ntm he says “if you’re getting that offended by your friends” bro the streamer didn’t KNOW IT EAS HER FRIENDS
@@colwoll EXACTLY like its literally said in the post that OP didnt know the people being mean in her chat were her friends but hes putting blame on her as if she did know its just annoying like did we listen to the same story
My brother is extremely handicapped, and autistic. His level of communication are five signs, so he can ask for water, tell us we have to let air out of his stomach trough a peg (it’s a tube that goes from the outside into his stomach, for medication and air, etc). He wasn’t supposed to live to be a year, and then 3. He would definitely never be a teenager, and now he’s in his 30’s. My mom passed, and there is no way for us to explain that to him. I spent my whole childhood waiting for him to die, sadly, because that was what was expected, and he was always sick. In and out of hospitals, and my other brother and i became neglected. My mom really did try, but there just wasn’t time for us. They were always exhausted, and i feel they ended up taking it out on us, in pretty bad ways, when we misbehaved. From the age of 9, i had to help take care of him, and the other kids, as my mom and stepdad had another kid. I didn’t really have a life at that age. There were times, but i was exhausted. At 19 i met the wall as they say, and I’ve never been able to really recover from that. I tried so hard to care about him, and i have no ill will against him, but as i child i did hate him, and i still don’t really have an attachment to him. I’ve had the talk, and if i know ahead of time, i will not give birth to a child that can have a severe handicap. I am helpful whenever i see anyone need help, but i do not want this for my self. I have had the talk with partners over the years, and I’ve had therapy, and i do not think he is the asshole. The funeral thing is sort of understand, although i feel he could man up for a few hours, but i feel he is staying away from facing the pain. I also understand his ex’s decision, as she really never lived it, and you just love the child in your stomach, but until you’ve lived it, you won’t understand. They become your life, and it’s almost impossible to live for your self when you have someone that needs 24/7 care. You have to have a trained nurse to have a babysitter, and for most that isn’t financially an option.
Yeah I was a bit surprised it wasn’t mentioned about the overall quality of life said person would have. What’s worse, being physically disabled but having no neurological issues, mentally no one is home (I apologize if I sound rude, I can edit this if a kinder one is suggested) and physically disabled or having both. Also I’d like to add a VERY REAL major concern that wasn’t brought up…$$. Listen we know how the world is, OP even said just for those test it was killing his wallet, imagine the cost (🇺🇸), insurance doesn’t always cover everything. So now add that to the mix
sam and josh were literally discounting what happened in the first story. It is so incredibly frustrating, when you say it isn't that serious it just shows how out of touch they are lol.
Okay let’s take the streaming out of it Let’s say you, whether a job or hobby, tries getting into something new. Its going well, hell maybe made a couple people want to hang out because they have the same job or hobby. Then cue who you thought you could trust (bf and friends) and they start degrading you and harassing you. Those people are gonna move away or avoid the woman now. Either way it ruined OPs opportunity and little community she built in that moment. Also there’s jokes, but then there’s harassment. One tries sending an explicit image that could get OP in trouble. A lot of people don’t want to see that either.
Josh's take on the first story is so frustrating. Had to stop the video to add that haha but seems I'm seeing similar thoughts in the comments. Let's see what his other takes are...
@@cristina08888 I seen him on other videos I believe and I remember not liking his takes before- but hey they are takes, people will have different ones. But this one was so annoying
@@TabbyWithMittens I was actually excited to see him again because I actually thought he had great takes in a previous episode, but his reaction to that first story was atrocious.
The last story: NTA he has trauma and set clear boundaries, to which his ex agreed to. Her deciding last minute that she wouldnt honor their agreement, is fair but he's NTA for not changing his mind. He didnt want to live that experience, he never met the baby and what difference would it have made if he showed up. He walked away and was clear he wanted nothing to do with the entire experience good, bad, or in between. He supported her with child support which was the right thing to do.
I really cannot listen to Sam and his friend talking about women facing harassment online… yall are being so invalidating and completely ignoring why she was upset and focusing on “this girl is emotional and making a big deal so I don’t like her and she shouldn’t stream.” I usually love Sam but this was not it cheif
I love hearing you guys but from time to time come stories that you are clearly not prepared to comment on (depression, harassment, etc) I believe this first story was one of this cases. Honestly didn’t even feel like hearing the rest of the podcast
so you guys are saying that if some of your friends came into your videos comment section and started trolling / bashing you wouldn't be upset? you wouldn't communicate to them your disappointment? you wouldn't get angry if they said "chill, a lot of youtubers get horrible comments, why are you upset 🙄" food for thought.
Maybe I missed something, but am not sure if the friends were necessarily bashing her, but they did seem to me like they were trolling/harassing her and clearly driving viewers away. Personally, I don't think I would've felt / reacted like OP(I am a girl btw) as I don't think it would've bothered me as much if I was in her place. Even when considering all the other info, like the importance of the stream, that my fiance did not help out, and that the trolling was done by my friends. But, Idk, maybe there is more background info not shared in the post. However, having said that, I am on OPs side and I think the friends and fiance were wrong. I think she was valid for feeling upset and it was good she expressed that. There can be multiple acceptable responses and feeling towards a situation. We are all different, have gone through different things, and process things differently. I don't think my reactions would have been objectively better than that of OPs. Sometimes there are more than one appropriate responses. I think some of the guys had a hard time seeing past how they would react versus OP's reaction, and understanding both ways can be okay. They had a hard time seeing past their own lens to understand OPs point of view. OPs friends were wrong. I don't see how this prank was supposed to be funny. Even after she told them to stop and tried to establish boundaries, they kept going. Even after she was clearly showing she was upset they kept going. I am not sure how making a friend upset is supposed to be funny ??? And, to make it worse, instead of them and the fiance acknowledging their mistake right away, they invalidated her, which probably felt very crappy. Glad there was a resolution, though.
About the 5th story, even though we can all clearly agree that he needs therapy, I get where he is coming from. IMO, there are disabilities (things that can make your life harder but ultimately you can live your own life easily enough) and diseases or genetic mutations that makes the few months or years that you will have on Earth solely about pain, operations, treatments and hospital stays, so that you survive just a bit longer. Having a child is a selfish act in itself and i feel like subjecting your child to that, knowing that they will never have even the semblance of a normal childhood (maybe not even live to the point they can have memories of their childhood) is cruel and selfish. Unreasonable obstinacy is a reality and an abortion, while still painful and traumatic, is less traumatic than seeing your child suffering and not understanding what happens and withering away in front of your eyes. It's no surprises that pediatric care (in the sense of working woth terminally ill children) is something that very few health professional are able to do, knowing that they are already in death and sickness all day long. Seeing a child suffer to their last breath is a special kind of traumatic IMO.
1000% this. There's no doubt that he has a long term emotional wound but he was extremely clear about his stance and was under the impression his gf would adhere to that agreement, but she changed her mind. Her body, her choice. His life, his decisions. No one is the AH imo. Regardless, I hope they're both able to cope in ways that are healthy and effective the both of them.
My God wtaf were those takes for 1st story. She repeatedly clarifies she’s not bothered by the harassment (because she’s used to it as a girl gamer, she even points out she’s had worse that’s not the issue!) it’s the fact her fiancé and friends are the ones trolling her!! It’s the streaming equivalent of opening up a restaurant &asking them to support her new business, they turn up, get really drunk & they make everybody so uncomfortable they leave. Extremely saddened to hear such dismissive opinions about the harassment women face online - especially the comments about over reacting. Josh is too dense to even comprehend the post, it wasn’t hard to follow at all. Don’t read from that subreddit again you guys don’t have the range to be fair and balanced with those kinds of discussions; let alone have an understanding perspective of anything to come from there. Yet again you guys completely missed the point of why OP is upset & therefore don’t understand their very valid reaction - this happened so egregiously before with a story where OP faced homophobia from their family (wouldn’t let his husband in the sibling’s wedding pics but sister’s boyfriend was). This is really really disappointing guys, I’ve told you before please do better!
The 1st story - some bad takes from Josh and Sam. Sorry guys…. The girl is posting in girl gamers about girl gaming? I’m sorry she was within her rights to be upset. I don’t like how they are blaming the girl for you guys picking a story from somewhere else…. Idk, didn’t feel fair.
The thing is I think Sam actually wasn’t thinking like that until Josh spoke. I disagree with his takes before but definitely was worse especially when convincing the others 😅
I think the nature of these podcasts is that one person mishearing things or missing details might send everyone on a path to an opinion that's unfortunately misunderstood
Agree, definitely poor take from Josh. He was so focused on how it was told and certain details, vs seeing that this girl felt betrayed and is so new and already struggled With this type of behavior and then had her support group do the same thing of harassing her. It's like she said she was not part of the joke, it hurt her and it resulted in something she cared about being damaged aka loosing viewers, some of her confidence she gained etc. Ugh Josh was so frustrating until that first story
And it’s like the guys are missing the point even though the op said it multiple times, it wasn’t about the trolling it was about who was doing it and how she found out 😭 josh brings out the worst in the men
Josh takes good notes but had some terrible takes on the second to last story. You don’t owe a family that ignored you for 13 years anything. Not a conversation, nothing. Also, no one is required to have a child they don’t want, in fact, it’s probably better that don’t have the child to spare them the neglect. You can’t project your feelings about this issue onto OP. There are some disabilities that cause a child to experience nothing but pain until they ultimately die young, forcing a child to suffer that way is inhumane. Also, who/what was he going to the funeral for? His ex? The deceased child? Doesn’t seem worth the additional trauma for him.
"Just say you don't want it to happen again", She did say she didn't want it to happen again and blocked them but they continued once adding them back. Also the comment on if you lose the joy of it you're doomed is kind of the point why having friends support is important. If I invited friends to an art showcase or to a competition or a new professional endeavor and they decided to troll me of course it would hit much harder than if it was a stranger. You expect that from strangers. She clearly felt mocked especially in a space where female presence is often not taken seriously.
Yeah I don’t think Sam or Josh really understood what was going on in the story. Cause the way they are commenting on it doesn’t seem like they hear what she’s or like they are trying to understand how she feels. Those two are talking about how she shouldn’t take it so seriously when Maddie literally just read the edit where she was telling her boyfriend how serious she taking this with the demographic training, social media accounts, potential podcast. Like imagine if someone you called a friend or more disrespected you, the comfort level podcast, and your viewers back when you only had 40 viewers.
1st story - Josh is truly hard to listen to, him and Sam will never understand what women face. Even in a platform like LinkedIn, we do get messages from weirdos. I love comfort level but this episode with Josh and Sam wasn’t good, Brandon is the only man on here who seems like he has a heart. & I know that’s because of his upbringing and his bond with his sister. We appreciate you Madi and Brandon
For the first story; at the end of the day, you are on someone else’s streaming platform and not listening to the streamers rules and boundaries for how they want their community to act while viewing. She has every right to be upset, especially since they are her friends doing it.
First story is odd. I understand why she is upset and don't agree with the takes. Just because you speak a certain way in a group vhat doesn't meant ur going to act that way on a stream. They are 100% the reason why everyone left. 40 people isn't a lot but she may have to work from the ground up to get that viewership again
I see what you’re saying but let’s see it from this angle. My grandma told me when I was younger that “you play with a puppy you bound to get lick”. Now the lick in this case to me seems to be the joke types and setting. I don’t know if the boundaries between friends were known but if they were the friends and boyfriend are foul if not she can’t be mad they crossed a line that they were discussed that upset op. Also common sense ain’t too common some have to stop setting expectations on people without communication. I don’t know I’m just rambling at this point.
Really not jiving with Josh and Sam’s comments on the first story. Her friends took it too far and clearly upset her. “Jokes” amongst friends aren’t funny when the person who is the butt of the joke doesn’t laugh
The decision on the disabled child sound so biased. For one, you had a problem with him not contacting the family. Question, were the parents doing the utmost to contact him? And it seems they didn’t even acknowledge their negligence towards him Secondly, you try to label him a deadbeat. Now that’s some twisted sexism. If the woman had an abortion, you would have totally supported her decision to do so. He made it abundantly clear why he didn’t want this child; on how it deeply affected him. And the girlfriend had the child anyways despite their decision. You’re having him have to be understanding of everyone else’s needs but his own.
I'm scared for this man's poor daughter if he'sthat adamantly opposed to having a girl. I hope this turns out where he ends up falling in love with her. She might become a daddy's girl.
The dude with testicular tortion: If I have NEVER done anything to make you believe that I would pull a prank like this, but you chose to belive that's what I'm doing, I would be so hurt! I wonder if he's always bugging her while she's out at the club? Why would she question his seriousness? And I also agree with the blocking! The amount of people who block folks for temporary situations... 🤯
I have to assume he either calls her constantly/pranks her when she's out or she was already drunk when he called because I don't understand how else she would think that behavior sprung up from nowhere. Maybe he doesn't like the friend whose birthday party it is? Idk
I love you guys, but you guys proved the reason why she posted on girl gamer. I was sorry I would not be shocked by Sam and Joshes comments for they make these type of comments before on other stories, but you’re literally sitting on a couch running a stream/podcast as your job. How would you have felt if your friends, family, AND your partner got on to the comfort level podcast and we’re doing that type of stuff driving your viewers away. She is trying to start a career, it’s her job and not some fun Little stream. Also she explained multiple times she wasn’t offended by the Pikachu face, I don’t know why you guys got that so misconstrued on your side. Also I think anything person would block somebody if they were sending porn images in a chat, I would block and not trust any other images they were trying to send. Also, like how dare you try to tell somebody that something that hurts them isn’t important and shouldn’t be talked about. She posted on girl gamers looking out for advice from other girl gamers who deal with harassment and trying to work through having a career online. That was so disgusting and insensitive.
In the fifth Story he is a bit of an asshole but he's not an asshole for not going to the funeral. Yes it's his child but he had no relationship with that child. Funerals are for the living not the Dead. Who did he want to see at that funeral? Who did he want to support?
He paid child support as well. He didn’t just leave his ex with no warning. Most men would just say they agreed to certain terms and since she’s going back on it raise the kid herself never to be seen or heard from again.
The girlfriend went to far with blocking him and not taking his calls. However "my balls hurt" doesnt really express the severity of the situation, which is expected since hes in pain/ throwing up. It is shitty of her to not even check on him and ignore him regardless of whether she thought he was joking or not
I actually disagree with your takes on the guy with the disabled child. I don’t think he’s an AH. Yes, he helped create the child but that was under the condition, which both he and his gf had previously discussed and agreed on, that if it had specific disabilities the fetus would have been terminated. The gf backed out in the end despite their previous consensus and knowing OP’s history and expectations (which is totally her choice, not saying it was right or wrong). IMO he is within reason to step away from his gf and the child when placed under circumstances that goes against their previous agreement. OP did still pay child support willingly, as he should for his part in creating the child. The gf made the choice to have the child knowing she would have to raise the them on her own, and OP made that very clear since she decided to continue with the pregnancy. As for the funeral, I am surprised at how much weight everyone was putting on OP to attend the funeral for a child that he was essentially nothing more than a sperm donor to. OP was not a father to that child in any meaningful way aside from DNA and financial support. There was no emotional/familial connection at that point, it would be like attending a strangers funeral.
To clarify: I am assuming, based on the context and early death, that the disability OP’s child was screened for and resulted in had very debilitating/low-quality-of-life conditions. I personally don’t think it’s wrong/ableist to not want to bring a child into this world who will have little to no quality of life, especially if the condition results in chronic pain or suffering, for what appears to be an anticipated short life span.
@@rocket2themoon3 I'm not one to agree with abortions for his reasonings but he had his boundaries and gf agreed. He did more than a lot of father's who leave when the child is born. I can't be mad at him for his lines and not going to a funeral where he would be a stranger is nearly everyone there and possibly be the villian there.
For future episodes if there is confusion on a part of the story, could you please go back and reread that part again. Like not summarizing go back and read it out loud again. So misunderstandings don’t happen. This episode with some other episodes the talking points aren’t even a part of the story or a detail got twisted so the takes given aren’t really accurate.
Funerals are for the living. Not the dead. They’re a chance to say goodbye, obtain closure, etc. He was not in a role or capacity that he needed to do any of these things. And I can see why he felt betrayed both by his parents who neglected him and the girlfriend who was the one that backed out of the agreement they made. Why is he obligated to go comfort people who betrayed him? As for the termination issue, it is not ableist. We terminated a wanted and loved baby that had an extremely severe cardiac defect, spinal defect, and kidney defects. His prognosis was not good. His quality of life would have been extremely low had he survived. And they did not think he’d survive the pregnancy. We chose that out of compassion and love for him. Having “heroic measures” done and go through a life of painful medical procedures and not leave a hospital or skilled facility for our sake felt like the height of selfishness. In the end we didn’t have to make the decision as he died during an episode of preterm labor.
For the second to last story about the disability. That's a tough one. I agree with Madi 100% the guy needs therapy for sure to work through childhood trauma. But I can also understand him not wanting to experience what he did prior when he was growing up. That's really difficult. And that's totally on every individual. You have to decide what's best for you and your family in the long run. Who knows, maybe this disability might cause the person pain while they are alive, maybe it's something incredibly expensive and not covered by insurance because they had the testing and had the options available. But at the end of the day it's up to the individual to choose. They talked about it, and came to an agreement and then she changed her mind. And that's ok, cause it's her body her choice. And him choosing to leave is also ok because that was his choice. I don't think it's ableist to make those decisions, cause it's all based on what best for you and your family, financially, physically, and emotionally. As for him not talking to his parents after 10 years I can sympathize, cause it seems they spent all their time focusing on one son and forgetting they had another. And for him not attending the funeral, he had made his choice before the baby was born, his girlfriend choose what she wanted and he chooses not to be involved. I don't think he's an asshole. Everyone should be able to choose what is best for them and there life at the end of the day.
Very concerning response to the first story. Josh in particular is incredibly dismissive and it’s hugely problematic that his focus is on that he finds the details being ‘weird’. I think he needs to ask him self what he actually meant when he described the linkedin detail as ‘weird’ or that that fact that she didn’t know some slang as ‘weird’. The whole thing feels very devaluing towards the OP. The pinned comment says Josh and Sam focussed mainly on the OP and her relationship with her friends. Id like to make the point that centering the discussion on whether there are previous issues between the group and suggesting this is what her anger is really about, is again very dismissive. In addition just cos they are her fiends and she is in the online gaming world, does not mean she should have expected or have to tolerate that behaviour. Finally the ending to the discussion and clearly showing such a strong disliking to the OP is 😢😢 I’m very grateful to Maddie for circling the convo back round to remind everyone what her friends actually said to her in the stream.
Speaking on the love is blind comment: Nancy worked with disabled children as a speech pathologist. She has first hand experience on how bad a disability can be. She knows the suffering a child will go through, she know how much money it will take to support a disabled child. It is more than wanting and not wanting a disabled child, its more about can your situation support a child with such high needs? Is it worth having your child purely suffer for their entire existence to only die at a young age?
Regarding: AITA For Leaving After My GF Gave Birth to Our Disabled Child What this guy went through as a child is also not the same as what he would go through as a parent. So I wish he wouldn't run away seemingly so easily. Also there is a difference between wanting to stop a pregnancy early due to the possibility to a child being disabled, and due to the possibility of the child being terminally ill. You can live a full life while being disabled, so would hope parents can live with that if possible. But I could understand if they knew in advance the child with have a very difficult and very short life too, that it maybe would be too traumatic to go through with.
You can have a life but some disabilities are so painful that the person offs themselves. Some disabilities are that bad where your on a multiple surgery a year regiment. Ive know those who are so pained they wish they were aborted..... life can sux
In relation to the disabled child story, I think it's ok to decide that if you don't want a disabled child, you shouldn't have one. Nancy from 'Love is Blind' mentioned she didn't want a disabled child because she saw the hurt it put everyone involved through, and didnt think she could handle it. If you find out you will be having a child that may be born with disabilities, you need to be prepared to learn and grow to properly help them and give them the support they need. While I think people in general should have basic knowledge on disabilities and accommodation, not everyone will and a parent may hold resentment towards a child for being different.
In the end, whoever births the baby gets the final say and if you had a hand in creating the child, you should be there. He's the asshole because if knew there was no way he wanted a disabled child, he shouldn't try for a biological child. You never know 100% if a mother will want to terminate until it comes time for a decision. Theoretically, if his new wife was pregnant with a disabled child and made the same decision, would he just move on to the next women till he got what he wanted? Don't run the risk if you aren't ready to accept the results.
Horrible take on the first post to the point of it almost feeling satirical. It would be worse for the trolls to be your friends because your friends should support you, not chase away your viewers. And the pithy remark of “Some female streamers have it worse” is victim blaming. She shouldn’t be grateful it’s not worse. Trash take
Second to last story I think op made the right choice to not see his or meet his dead child op is the asshole but needed therapy but because he didn’t get it chose not to be a active part in his child’s life I think it’s better that he didn’t go to the funeral it could lead to more trauma and on top of that he may not act appropriate due to the circumstance
I love the podcast and am definitely okay with people having and expressing their different opinions, but Josh’s opinions are difficult to listen to especially with the streaming story. It seems like he doesn’t fully comprehend it and isn’t seeing the full extent to how upsetting it was to OP.
Why was the 1st story even chosen for the pod? It's written horribly, reads horribly, and that makes perfect sense because it's NOT someone asking for advice. It's just some random girl venting to a very specific community. Awful story pick, awful story discussion.
Story 4: If she's in a club she wouldn't be able to hear him, he should just text and of course she's going to be pissed initially at the interruption. He should have said something more than 'my balls hurt' like I'm in excrutiating pain and throwing up. If someone sends me 'my balls hurt' I'm not going to take you seriously either. Also if she was drinking the GF would NOT be driving him to the Hospital in the first place?? Drunk driving hello?? There was NO ONE ELSE that he could think of to call???? Plus who is expecting clear, coherent thought processes from someone who has been drinking. These people thinking that a girl should walk home in the dark in the middle of the night to just 'check on him' is crazy. 5-10 minutes walk for someone drunk or tipsy definitely not dangerous??? He stated plainly he doesn't like clubbing and drinking, and I got the impression he has bothered her, made excuses and ruined her night before which is why she blocked him. I DO NOT BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAYS HE HASNT PRANKED HER. Additionally, some things he said don't add up. A) why would you remember a surgery? OF COURSE you would be sedated and would not be awake for stitching your testicle up. If you were he'd be giving you more anesthetic not having a chat to you about your testicle. B) I doubt that someone from emergency services would ask if someone else can take you - you called emergency services for a reason. C) Also how did he know she was 'mad' after coming home and finding the vomit, that sounds like his biased opinion, if I came home and found vomit i'd be worried not mad.
So... her friends drop in her public chat and sexually harass her (PUBLICALLY) but she is wrong for being upset with their behavior. Also, the hypocrisy in saying streaming is a fake thing while having a podcast as well as at least one friend who is making money from streaming. It seems yall would also be the kind of people to say "cyber bullying isn't real, just turn off the computer" while lacking the situational awareness that actions online can be just as real as in person. Subbed because I liked yall on TikTok when yall would cross my FYP but the long form video was... oof
I’ve been binge watching a lot of videos from the channel since I’ve seen yall on TikTok. I’ve seen some of the takes that get backlash. I decided to watch a more recent one since I’ve been 8 months out for videos (I started with recent episodes like a month ago). I didn’t expect such a poor take on a recent video. I like watching and listening because of the chemistry and the diverse perspectives yall bring. But…come on…I hate having to come to the comment section to feel like my experience and feelings as a woman matter. I know it can sometimes be tough to imagine the other side of things as men but come on. These takes on women’s feelings and experiences are disappointing.
Can the pod just...address sam and his takes. Please. This is not the first the time im seeing sam being called out for his problematic takes. I cant watch yall anymore and i find myself picking episodes without sam in it.
re: the gender reveal story - i have an enigma of a dad bc despite being a gen x, conservative, native south texan he only wanted to be a girl dad lmao. i have one older sister and he told my mom when she wanted a second baby that he wasn’t sure bc he only wanted one if he knew it was going to be another girl (it was, me). he would’ve been happy with a boy, im sure, i think he just thought about how much of a nightmare some boys are to raise and how easily they can grow into bad men and that scared him. gender disappointment is valid, but a steadfast bias towards one or the other (especially in favor of boys) automatically makes me question your character/ideologies.
Speaking on the Disabled baby story. I just really feel like he’s not the asshole honestly like wholeheartedly not the asshole for telling his wife he doesn’t want to take care of the baby if it has a disability. Now he is the asshole for not attending the funeral. I feel like that was a little cold hearted, and just inconsiderate of the fact that you also created that life but not the asshole for telling her he won’t be there. I really feel like it’s all about experience. He’s experienced it firsthand and to know that you’re gonna bring a life into the world who’s not going to see past one it’s just something that is traumatizing especially for somebody who’ seen and went through it. And it’s like things can be triggers and it only takes a small thing a big thing anything to crash out for some people and to know the outcome of some thing and still go through with it and realize in the end you were right it’s a different kind of hurt in a different kind of trigger. With or without therapy he definitely needs the therapy, but either way I just feel like it wouldn’t have been good for his mental state not saying the wife wouldn’t feel anything, but she also hasn’t had the experiences that he has had and when you went through some thing you know the steppingstones in the patterns, and what it looks like. So I understand why would I do something that I know the outcome of is not going to be beneficial for myself you nor the life that we are bringing in. I can’t really go on and more in depth, but I see his point and I don’t think anything he did was wrong other than not attending the funeral
I agree with the not staying tho I disagree with you on the funeral part. To agree, they discussed his history and she actively ignored it because baby. Her wanting to subject him to that again is messed up. To disagree, he wasn't there to begin with, I don't think he deserves or even has a right to show up for the funeral. Wanting him there won't do anything good for anyone unless his ex-wife is the literal only person attending. I can see all the stares and hateful comments on him not being there to begin with
Awww Sam plays all funny & tough but he’s such a big softie! I love how he supports his friends and he was an early supporter of Maddy’s streams and Brandon’s streams❤ Also, yay Josh is back!! I loved it the last time he was on. Such good energy and he thinks about the story as much as us the viewers do. Lol I’m only 15 mins in but I love how he takes notes and really thinks about it. If he’s your 6th best friend Sam then you must have an amazing top 5!
Sometimes the podcast really suffers when maddie is the only person with a female/feminine perspective. Not because only females or afab people, can understand female issues, but sometimes the guys (because they misunderstood or had a kneejerk thought) will talk over maddie. And i think she doesn't always know how to word why certain things in a story make her uncomfortable. The first story reminds me of the story with the wife who found out her husband was making sexually charged comments to her boss and coworkers. Less serious, but still. This story's woman's fiance or bf, made her job difficult, upsetting, and sexually charged. It doesn't matter that its streaming, that she was upset and wasnt wording correctl, or anything else. People who supposedly love her started harassing her anonymously online. Thats it. If it was a joke, or serious doesn't change the fact that they did that. They highjacked her stream and chased of her viewers. The intent doesn't change the effect those actions have on her or her success streaming. I kinda hope they readdress this story again another time.
The gender reveal: Often with CBT therapy, which is the most practiced kind in the states, you have to stay in therapy or go back. You learn all the ways to cope but that doesn't mean your brain changes. Personally I found EMDR to be the best and wish I had access to it sooner. CBT has also been proven to not be beneficial to people with certain conditions, like Autism.
The gender reveal story…someone needs to tell the husband that the MALE is the one the determines the gender of a person since they have XY chromosomes and females only have XX. We can *only* get the chromosome that makes a male from the male therefore the father needs to be blaming himself for the fact he has a daughter if he MUST have that attitude 😒
Ok dude with the disabled baby def needs therapy, but I don’t think he was a huge asshole. If you felt severely neglected as a child, I don’t think you owe the adults in the situation anything. And with the baby, both he and the wife agreed, it wasn’t something sprung on her. I think there’s a difference between weeding out any kind disability to make “designer babies”, and knowing that your child is likely to continually suffer the few years they’d have to live if they were brought into the world. I don’t think the potential of “well what if they actually beat the odds?” or “what if they find a cure within the next 10 years?” is a valid reason to bring someone you KNOW will have a probably life-terminating ailment, into the world.
I think y'all made some really good points in the disabled child story, especially considering it's such a nuanced issue that's personally close to my heart as someone with multiple genetic disabilities. My thing is that every single person, no matter how healthy they are at birth, has the potential to become disabled at some point, and before intentionally deciding to have a child (and yes, he didn't have a day in the abortion but he DID agree to try for a kid) you have to accept and be prepared for that possibility, and you should not have any child at all if you are not willing and ready to be there for a disabled child, just as you shouldn't have a child if you aren't okay with the possibility that they might be queer. What would OP have done if the baby has been born healthy and then ended up paraplegic from a car accident ten years down the road? Would he have bailed then? Frankly, the second he chose to try for a cups, he had a responsibility to be there for that kid no matter what, side they didn't choose to be born. And if you do want a kid but have trauma that might prevent you from being there in every way a parent should, then you have a personal responsibility to your partner and the child to go to therapy and get your head in order first. That being said, I think he probably made the right calls AFTER that point since someone with trauma this bad who doesn't seem to accept that it IS his problem to work through (even if it's not his fault) probably would have done a lot of damage to the kid. Not to mention, he seems to blame his brother (out at least his brother's disability) for his parents neglect, when really that was their fault, not his brother's, as the adults) which makes me think OP may have held some always attitudes towards his own could
As a neglected sibling of a disabled child, I understand your points wholeheartedly, but I also think people cannot understand the trauma unless they've lived through it. He agreed to have a child on the basis of their agreement. He (likely) wouldn't have otherwise. The girlfriend ultimately violated his trust by doing what she did. If the child becomes disabled later, that is a different matter. I can't speak for him, but it's not about blaming the brother or disability, but it's about the mental distress he went through. It's a circumstance based trauma, it will come back when you are put into the same circumstance again. He should've gone to the funeral to be honest.. but he doesn't owe it to anyone.
Depends on the disability. Disability can be a limb malformation or it can be a painful terminal illness. And people make the decision not to resuscitate or prolong life through painful, extensive treatments all the time with adults who suddenly suffer disabilities and medical crises so the adult argument isn’t as simplified as you made it as well
When I worked at Rite Aide 20+ yrs ago, the guy in the photo department would call me over to try and show me people's naked pics. 💀💀💀 I can't remember if we weren't allowed to give the customers their pics or not.
The story about the disabled child is so heartbreaking. The father should’ve gone to therapy to address his trauma, and quite frankly if he was so against the probability of that happening, maybe don’t have kids. When you choose to bring a child into the world, you have to accept the possibility that ANYTHING can happen. If you’re not, it’s my view you should not have kids. It’s not fair this child lived their life, especially a life so short, without the presence of her father, and he couldn’t even come to her funeral.
he didn’t want to have the kid they agreed to terminate if it tested for certain disabilities during the pregnancy, the wife decided to go through with it, the disability can assumed to be severe which would lead me to calling the wife the AH bcs why would you bring a child to life knowing they will only struggle and be in pain for their short life
You’re awful if you’re willing to bring a child in this world knowing itll suffer from disabilities, I couldn’t force a child to live in pain knowing I couldve done something about it
@ahoycapnlizzie @horror9ix350 Actually, it was my understanding that he was okay with having a kid, just not a kid with a certain disorders. . I think what @es0516, may mean, and correct if I am wrong, that OP probably shouldn't have ANY kids at this time, regardless of having a condition or not. He needs to do some internal work first (i.e. therapy). This does not necessarily have to do with terminating due to finding out they might have a certain disorder/condition. In such a case, the parents have some awareness ahead of time of the risks. However, needless to say, screeners will not predict everything that will happen in life. What if a baby was initially found to be "healthy" at birth, had no prior indicators of any major health areas of concerns during screenings, for whatever reason, later develops a similarly painful/untreatable condition in which they will die from (similar to some genetic disorders screened for prior to birth) like a late manifesting condition not initially found, a painful fatal disease, or a they get a major injury, etc. ? In such a case, what is OP going to do? Just leave because he doesn't want a child like that? Will his love/attention be conditional? Both can be true. One can choose to terminate the pregnancy due to the strong possibility they will live a painful, short lived existence. But, there is also a chance of having painful health conditions could not have foreseen/predicted during pregnancy/birth. Due to this, parents have to be ready, at least to some extent, for that. In my opinion, Op doesn't seem ready based solely on the info he provided in his post.
When it comes to the debate of ablelism, personally I would not want to give birth to a child who is only going to be living to suffer, ( such as severe disabilities where quality of life is extremely low) I don't want to ever force a person to suffer... I would be really upset but if I was told that my unborn child was going to be born in a situation where they are in extreme pain and are going to suffer until death that I would not want to bring them into the world. That being said, I don't care if my child has something like autism or other disabilities where they could still have some quality of life, I'm going to keep any child that I know could still enjoy life even if they are different or struggle with some things. As long as the pregnancy doesn't risk my life ( high risk pregnancy or a kind of pregnancy that is unviable or has a high rate of fatality, I know every pregnancy has some risk but if I'm told it WILL kill me then I'd abort for the sake of my current children and for my significant other, they need me not another sibling or child.) I will keep them. I always felt bad for the kids who were stuck in diapers in wheelchairs who couldn't speak or voice their pain or sadness or joy .. who couldn't connect to anyone and would just scream randomly and drool on themselves because a person was trapped in that body that doesn't function... Thinking about how lonely, depressing, frustrating, and hopeless that must feel ... And I wouldn't want that or wish it upon anyone.. but autism, ADHD, down syndrome, missing limbs, or anything of that sort where they can still in one way or another express themselves is fine with me and I was friends with them in HS. One girl I befriended I didn't even know had autism when I interacted with her I just thought she was shy and a bit awkward but she was one of the sweetest girls I knew .
Hm as someone with a disability i dont agree with the definition of abilism that was given. Yeah something ìs wrong with me, physically on a very specific level. but not like morally. I feel like abilism is when you just assume someone cannot do anything or certain things. Or not value them as a human/person because of it equally to anyone else. Sometimes things can get "fixed" by just changing the environment. Sometimes nothing can get "fixed". I damn well wish people could fix me. Not falling asleep inappropriate times and not being exhausted and tired all the time without medication would be great. Or not be hypermobile everywhere. Would also be great to not have to deal with the side effects of my medication. So do please medicine fix it :) but doesnt mean im less than anybody. (Also not my co-workers)
Story 4: Considering that their high school sweethearts and they just entered adulthood and a vague text like "my balls hurt" sounds childish, If I was in this girl situation.I think I would also assume that this is a silly thing.That my boyfriend is saying just because he misses me. I Completely see her point of view and after understanding the situation she handles it as you should, with an apology and genuine care. If he doesn't think he can forgive her, for what seems to be a misunderstanding. He should break up with her because if he can't move on, they can't move forward. Side note: I feel like The same way guys don't fully understand what a woman's period is like is the same We don't understand what male bodies are like and having balls are like
But blocking him?! I could never. I would find the quietest corner in the bathroom and call back. People in my life don't call for no reason so I will call back.
The fact that he had a brother with a disability suggests that he may be the one carrying the gene to begin with. His trauma is valid but as you pointed out he is responsible for addressing that head on and working through that. He’s harboring resentment and hurt and it wasn’t fair to his then gf who he probably would’ve stayed with had she terminated her pregnancy! Then to not go to the funeral ? And to not even be there to support your ex over the loss of a child you both shared? He’s an unhealed asshole. I’m not sure he’s even ready to be a parent at all.
OP mentioned that they weren't the same disability, and that his brother's came from the mother. As someone with a disabled sibling who was also neglected, I totally understand peoples' points, but you can't imagine the trauma it gives us. This isn't something that can be fixed 100% by therapy, it's not resentment, it's a circumstance-based trauma. Having a disabled child will send people straight back into mental distress, which is clearly what happened here. It would've been good of him to go to the funeral, but he doesn't owe it to his ex because she ultimately betrayed his trust. He made his boundaries extremely clear, they had an agreement, and that is what caused the break-up.
He is displacing his trauma onto this disability and his brother when his parents really should have done better to be there for him. I agree there are valid reasons to not want your child to go through that, but he's basically abandoning the child and making the child feel the same way he did growing up. He needs therapy to realize this is a trigger and needs to work through it. Why is he having more children 🤦♀️
Stop watching tbis channel a bit ago because of dude on the blue hoody, i come back and here he is yet again....this channel is going downhill because of these "guests" with horrible takes. She asked a question and he goes on some tangent about her personality...as if he doesn't have the most dry robotic personality ive ever seen in my life. 😂 Then goes "are their anymore details" WHY BRO?! What do YOU need details for you literally dont even like her lmao
On the 5th story I feel being pro choice should mean EVERYONE'S choice. He was clear from the beginning on his stance so when she changed her mind, knowing his reasoning (even if it is trauma induced), she should've been prepared for the outcome because he has a choice too. I know the gravity of abortion, and honestly believe it is not a decision to be taken lightly, that being said, he should be just as forced to be in the child's life as we'd want her to be forced to carry the baby. I'm iffy on his not attending the funeral but it's honestly not like he sprung this on her out of the blue.
With the second last story, I think he is kind of the bad guy because he did kind of peace out and didn’t go to the funeral (which is very cold) but I also think that what was missed out from the entire discussion was the fact that the girlfriend and OP had a discussion about this situation and AGREED that they would terminate the pregnancy. I can imagine that even if he didn’t realise, he may have been triggered by his past, in the way that the girlfriend choosing to keep the baby might have subconsciously made him feel like he was becoming a second choice again in the same way that he felt like a “second thought” from his parents. I think that my main takeaways from this story is that it’s so important to go to therapy or seek some type of help or support and heal substantially BEFORE you enter or even consider going into a relationship. Also, when having discussions about very serious scenarios, like this one, take a while to really think through and ponder the situation and what you would desire to do, so that if the situation is to happen, you don’t end up changing your mind and leaving your partner feeling blindsided or even betrayed
realistically, the friends and boyfriend were incredibly disrespectful and what they did when shes trying to build an audience is fucked. shes completely justified, they are acting so immature as adults.
Story about the baby, guy is the asshole but she just had to move on cause she knew he was an asshole. But fatal disabilities can come after birth too. I think he just shouldn’t have had kids at all.
The Story of the disabled child is a rough one. I think that OP is definitely the asshole for not going to the funeral as well as not doing his due diligence in researching the likelihood of having a disabled child in the 1st place. Furthermore he should have gone through therapy before even entertaining having a kid. I think it’s huge negligence on his part. He gets points for taking care of the kid facially but that is about it.
What if she did abort the baby but they tried again and the same thing occured? I think it isnt fair to her to be put through that. I know they agreed to terminate but its different when you are the mother. She did break his trust though so he has the right to leave i guess. I know he has trauma from his childhood but the fact that the possibility of a disabled child is a deal breaker for him is sad. Having a disabled brother and not getting your parents attention is vastly different from raising a disabled child. He couldve done more to not be like his parents. But its grimy to me how he dropped his partner and flesh and blood to start anew somewhere else. He definitely needs therapy.
The last story was NTA for me. I have two special needs siblings and a mentally ill sister - if I KNEW my child would have a disorder I would 100% terminate. I will be the sole person responsible for my disabled siblings after my Mother passes - I genuinely don’t think I could handle having the responsibility of having to care for yet another person for the rest of my life. I understand the why it feels ableist but, from my POV, I feel like ppl get too caught up on the cute, squishy baby part and don’t understand that the baby grows up and has an adult body one day. They go through puberty and have mood swings just like anyone else - except (depending on the disability) a “bad” day can result in holes in the walls and kicked in doors. I can always tell when ppl haven’t dealt with a whole lot of disability in their life because the conversation always derails into “but it’s your family” and like yes - it’s my family but this is MY life. The only life that I will, presumably, ever have. I cannot spend my entire life caring for others. It’s a difficult decision but I genuinely feel like, unless you grow up with this (not as the disabled person but just the bystander in the home whose life is unwittingly impacted by someone else’s disorder) it’s difficult to understand the scars it places upon the the other children in the home beyond “it must be difficult.” I’d only advocate for continuing with the pregnancy if they’re your only child. Not going to the funeral - I understand it sounds awful but I actually understand why he said no. He only met the child once in the years the child was alive. I agree that his not wanting to go was definitely tied to how his parents neglected him but going to funeral would not be closure for him. The point of funerals is for closure - a moment to congregate with all the ppl who loved that person in life and grieve as a community. Saying that - I’d have gone. Not to say “goodbye” to a child I never knew but to acknowledge that the child existed and (at least in blood) was mine.
Ableist story: This dude is the AH. He should get therapy before having children. Not all disabilities/ND can be tested for prior to birth, may not be diagnosed until later and could happen at any point in life due to sickness/accident. Having a child is a risk no matter what and you have to accept that or don't have children. Now, make a change in HOW you handle multiple children and attention. Change how you parent and don't repeat your parent's mistakes. Additionally there are more supports, therapies, medicines etc than there were likely when your parents went thru it. He seems to have no empathy at all for the hardships his brother and parent's faced. For his girlfriend that he left to deal with this. I have two ND kids. One ASD/ADHD/Anxiety and one with dyslexia. It is super hard some days, but no one gave me a guarantee on their health and only one is biological to me. All daughter's convo: American education is sooooo BAD. Men determine gender based on their sperm. He can do IVF and select male embryos if he wants but it is alllll based on what sperm inseminates the egg. Women have XX chromosomes, men have XY. There for you have 4 total to choose from X, X, X, Y. All eggs are X and sperm can be X or Y. Sex is based on getting half your sex chromosomes from each parent. Since the dad isnthe only carroer of Y, they are completely responsible for sex of the offspring. Additionally Men with poor sperm counts and morphology tend to have more girls and girl sperm tend to be more robust. (Thanks 12 years in the infertility world for a wealth of knowledge)
1:36:00 the thing with this is she made the decision to keep the baby knowing he wasnt going to stay. She knew she was going to have to do that alone he did what was required of him and imo thats all he was obligated to do. It was her decision to put herself in that situation and his decision to not do the same
Ftr with The first story if you send in a image made with keyboard symbols its most likely going to get deleted or filtered out because on twitch (which is what I'm gonna assume she's using) the STREAMER can get banned if they don't no matter what the photo is
These second to last story was super loaded and sad. I can understand calling him the a**hole for the funeral. However I think the most important this was said towards the end everybody had a choice. They decided together as a couple to make a decision based off certain medical findings. Mom made a choice to back out of that agreement. I don’t think he was the a**hole for doing the same. I think he understood his trauma enough to know that he didn’t want to be like his parents or end up mistreating the child if he stayed. There are so many other variables that could have gone through his head as to why. I think everybody sucks in the second to last story
thinking about it, if someone they had on the show started talking super out of pocket and said fucked shit on this show they wouldnt post it and would be upset, like cmon now, you know damn well shes justified.
Hey everyone (Sam here) , just wanted to leave a note here that we read your comments and we hear and appreciate what you have to say. I believe that all the comments were valid, sexual harassment in the gaming industry for women is rampant and something that we should have discussed more. I do believe that OP's story concentrate more on her relationship with her friends and that is what Josh and I focused on. This caused us to become fixated on a part of the story that we shouldn't have. Thank you again for sharing your perspective because it allow us to broaden our horizons on topics that we can be pretty ignorant on.
Honestly here’s how I view it and I wanted to share.
If a child may have a more difficult but full life, that’s one thing. But to have a child that’s not going to be able to, either because of severe, excruciating pain or premature passing, I feel that ethically allowing a pregnancy to develop and grow only for it to be snuffed out soon after birth is cruel. I would rather stop the pregnancy from developing before a conciseness develops than have a child who is excited to see and learn about the world only to to lose that so soon.
Idk. That’s just something I think about. I feel like it’s more ethical to stop the development than it is to let a child who has a 99% likelihood of passing young develop consciousness, love, fear, etc. every child death I hear about anywhere in the world keeps me up at night. Toddlers are amazing little people and the natural world sucks so bad for allowing it to happen. Not to mention the pain of the parents.
Maybe my thinking is clouded because I have a 2 year old myself and just thinking about it kills something in my core being. Idk but damn that one got to me. It got to me bad. The father sucks. I get that’s not what he agreed to and it sucks but it’s not the child’s fault and I feel like instead of thinking about this innocent life he used his absence to punish the mom into feeling bad when it really just punished the child who never asked to be born.
People with disabilities bring so much to the world and have gifts and talents as we all do. They deserve to exist. But the reason I think it’s kinder to terminate a pregnancy where early fatality is certain is because a child doesn’t ask to be born and to bring them into existence just to hurt and leave so soon is cruel to them. And I can see how this thinking could become problematic, people bc hold start applying it to the most manageable disabilities like autism, which I have and live a decent life. that’s why I draw a hard line of almost certain early death, like toddlerhood. Not a slight higher chance, but an almost certain one.
People are free to respond and challenge this. I’m always open to new ways of thinking.
this was the fakest apology I've ever seen, you clearly dont understand a thing from comment section, even your apology doesnt answers what the hell we are saying in the comments
I agreed with what was said I. The pod. everyone said she was right to feel that way but her actions were not ok. If a man said he was upset with his fiancé and yelled at her at 11pm at night while walking the dog in public, and accused him of not supporting her , the comments would be much different. You all should be allowed to disagree with a woman’s excessive reactions and point out how her behavior exacerbated the conflict. Her feelings were not the only ones that mattered in this story. Her actions hurt others too and if she she’s not improve how she communicates (take others perspective, take accountability, express her needs clearly, avoid name calling and accusations, keep emotions in check, forgive and move on) she will she will alienate herself from the very support system she will need to survive a very difficult industry. Stand on business
Hi sam! Here’s a comment that i already left but i wanted you to see it:
Something i love about you guys is the way you guys can candidly correct each other. Having a podcast with a white woman and black men (and oftentimes woc) makes for really great, open conversations about your experiences and it’s really lovely to see you guys teach each other things in real time.
I worry that as you guys get bigger, the correction from commenters does start to get more intense and I hope that doesn’t cause you guys to lose that rapport. Please don’t start getting scared to share your takes or feel attacked from harsh comments because the whole benefit of having such a diverse cast is the way you guys can learn from each other. You guys are actively normalizing making mistakes, and calling each other in without “canceling” one another. This is so important for our generation because people can be very rigid about letting people grow.
I do, however, think it complicates things when bringing on white men who aren’t really speaking with consideration of what it’s like to be a woman, who then dominate the conversation. I think Josh had a bad influence on Sam’s takes during this episode, because the more Josh talked, the more Sam viewed it from his perspective. Honestly it doesn’t seem like Josh has issues with women, but speaking as a man didn’t realize the real harm of saying the story was “weird” or didn’t make sense.
Also, i noticed this is most commonly an issue when it’s a mostly male cast for the episode. When it’s Madi, Brandon, and Sam, yeah it’s still male dominated but the connection goes far beyond that because when it’s just them they clearly want to hear from Madi. But when the guest is male and not super invested in women’s experiences, the dynamic shifts a lot and Madi’s points kind of get snuffed out. I love when the guest is a girl, because female guests almost always contribute so much to it rather than taking away from it like Josh did with this one.
@@rukiyearcan2192let’s simmer down here. i really think it’s a stretch to call it a fake apology. these are not famous people… these are regular friends who are correcting each other in real time. respectful correction and growth is so incredibly important, so let’s not bring that “you’re lying!!!” energy here. it is not and has never been the energy of this podcast. the whole point is that they can share their unique experiences with each other coming from different backgrounds.
Horrendous takes from josh and sam :/ to know she posted on girl gamers BECAUSE of people like josh and sam. I dont understand, she tried so hard to avoid an unnecessary opinion from someone who would never be able to relate. Shes a small streamer. Trying to pursue her dreams. If my family and friends did that id be devastated. Decided to take a break this episode, first story just left me not wanting to hear josh's mocking her with his voice anymore after both sam and brandon seem to agree with josh after. Love you maddie. ❤❤u hold this place down
Did Sam really just say "it's not even real, it's just a stream" when he literally sits on a couch with his friends reading and discussing other people's stories??? Bold.
He with that one statement disregarded anyone that has been sexually harassed or harassed in general online. That statement is invalidating to anyone that has gone through that. I don't think he realizes how fucked up it sounds though
LITERALLY heard that and felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I'm glad Brandon stepped in to redeem him a bit but that was a suuppeerr tone deaf thing to say lol.
I think Sam has to cope somehow with some of the backlash he gets from his comments. Outside of his little bubble nothing else is real- it doesn’t matter if his brash reactions hurt other people because they’re not real to him.
i truly believe that sam thinks that way & doesn’t care how it comes off.
Hes talking out the side of his neck. He's like my dad; he just wants to stand out. Depending on what the story will be, he's just saying the opposite of what everyone else said or may say.
I usually don’t comment but Josh and Sam really messed up that take in the first story. Like…. She had every reason to be upset. If you had a friend who was putting on an open mic or stand up, would you go to heckle them just because that’s what big comedians go through? If it was in good faith and actively helped the stream yeah. But she lost viewers in the moment and then everyone is telling her she’s overreacting? After she made a blog, website and twitter?? Jeez
Exactly! The open mic or stand up is a great example because Sam was talking about how streaming is causing these made up problems and I immediately thought how wrong he was. If I had an in-person performance and friends start heckling me, I would be upset, even if it were just my hobby and not my job. Streaming is akin to a performance in this case.
I thought i was going crazy for agreeing with the girl from the 1st story bcs of the take sam and josh had. Im glad this comment section agrees with me 😭
It’s normal to get harassment on streams but it’s the fact it was people she KNEW!!!! That is the weird part.
True! But also it sucks that it’s normal to get harassment on streams. Especially small streamers who still experience it despite reaching a much smaller base. Comments like that seem even louder and more in your face with a small base.
Josh and Sam should really just stop talking. You have ZERO idea what it is to be a woman in a man’s world. This is one of those times that you just keep your yap shut. Unreal.
awful take on the first story, brandon and madi saved it. it’s one thing to joke like that in your group chat, it’s another to make distasteful jokes anonymously on a stream that the person is taking seriously and trying to grow. time and place is important
The guest's opinions were so terrible the first story. You can tell he's the kind of guy that doesn't care when women are getting harassed. To say you're "against who this person is" is crazy especially cuz everyone knows that female streamers get harassed frequently. She was allowed to be uncomfortable by what happened. Her friends doing that made it seem as the harassing her on stream is okay. I really wonder if you would have cared if she was getting sexually harassed in public. You wanted to play Devil's Advocate on a sensitive story way too much and that's weird behavior. The story was not that hard to follow if you just used your ears and listened instead of wanting to be overly critical of every single detail. Instead of looking at the bigger picture of this girl being harassed by her friends and being hurt by that you were wanting to point out every single little thing that you didn't understand. Which is very on point with women coming out about their sexual assault stories and people disregarding her because they were confused by a few tiny details
Agreed, he was being so daft
i literally come down to write this. he was so horrible, and humiliating, insulting to a stranger who got bullied from her closest
yeah, after hearing his take i had to turn this episode off. i genuinely don’t like him.
He is absolutely HORRIBLE!
Being sexually harassed/harassed/trolled on linkedin is not so uncommon as a woman.
I've been repeatedly sexually harassed on Words with Friends. It can happen anywhere for women.
I was sexually harassed by a recruiter on LinkedIn because my email notification buried his response so far down that a week had passed- and me, being a nice person, felt bad that I hadn’t responded to his time/effort to send me that recruiting message. He tried to extort a better interview process by having me submit a “more encompassing head shot”
It was literally wild
I had to quit and delete it because I was getting harassed so much. Which sucks@@jamie6698
commenting again re: the disabled baby story. i am currently starting the process of IVF solely for the reason of genetically testing the embryos (no fertility issues). i have a genetic condition - marfan syndrome - and could not in good faith have a baby naturally knowing.they have a 50% chance of inheriting it. it has nothing to do with me not wanting to put in extra effort or resources to take care of them or me being ashamed of my condition. it’s because i have firsthand experience of the challenges that come with the condition and don’t want them for my child. i was bullied throughout childhood, leading to lifelong anxiety/self image issues. i’ve had full spinal fusion surgery, open heart surgery, and am slowly losing my vision (and im only 23 lol). i think people with no genetic concerns ‘designing a baby’ is relatively unethical, but i think parents with a high likelihood of passing something serious down are valid in their choice to prevent that if they are able. in my case, at least, i don’t see the thought process as ableist at all. in fact, i’ve developed a bit of a superiority complex from being praised for being intelligent (valedictorian in hs, magna cum laude in college) and attractive (my condition causes me to be very thin). i own my own condo at 23 and have a full time job in client relations. however, behind the scenes i am suffering with and consistently held back by the symptoms of my disorder. why wouldn’t i completely eliminate the possibility of that looming burden for my children?
I couldn’t agree with you more. I have a genetic disorder called Incontinentia pigmenti where if a male is a carrier for it they do not survive past birth. If a female is a carrier it affects their skin, teeth, and eyesight. We also went through IVF and we had to terminate a pregnancy (not an IVF pregnancy, it happened naturally) because the baby was a male and showed fluid in his lungs and behind his brain. While it was a tough decision my husband and I both agreed that we wouldn’t want him to suffer.
@@TheTwinkieState i’m sorry to hear that you both had to go through that, but i completely agree with you. i hope you were/will be successful in having a healthy baby.
@@angelicpossession aww thank you that’s very kind of you. We currently have a two year old and are in the process of starting IVF again. I hope it’s successful for you!
My brother had a gent orange syndrome after his grandfather fought in Vietnam. He wants children but can’t do it naturally because of the likely hood they would inherit his genetic malformations. Wanting your children to not inherit for disabilities isn’t ableist. Usually the only people who think it’s ableist are people who don’t have disabilities. I have fibro and endometriosis inherited from my mom and she wishes everyday she didn’t give me it.
Awful takes on the first post, it was explained twice that she wasnt "offended" by shocked pikachu, they already send something inappropriate and was worried it would be another inappropriate thing. Shes not asking for help either shes posting about girl gaming... in r/girlgaming about her friends being mean
100%!!!!!! it made more sense when that guest admitted in the next story that he didn’t want to raise a daughter and Im like “yeah that makes sense you didn’t have any empathy for this streamer” really telling
@@TheStorytellersBox jeez, i didnt finish watching after the first stories commentary but im really unsurprised
@@timewithjackson3975 yeah. I kept listening bc I knew Maddy would bring it back around and Sam had good insight too
Dude when Josh was like “you’re getting offended by a pikachu face” that annoyed me so much. This dude can’t comprehend and connect the fact that, especially in the heat of the moment, ANY average person would probably expect any text photo to be profane if the previous ones were too. Ntm he says “if you’re getting that offended by your friends” bro the streamer didn’t KNOW IT EAS HER FRIENDS
@@colwoll EXACTLY like its literally said in the post that OP didnt know the people being mean in her chat were her friends but hes putting blame on her as if she did know its just annoying like did we listen to the same story
My brother is extremely handicapped, and autistic. His level of communication are five signs, so he can ask for water, tell us we have to let air out of his stomach trough a peg (it’s a tube that goes from the outside into his stomach, for medication and air, etc). He wasn’t supposed to live to be a year, and then 3. He would definitely never be a teenager, and now he’s in his 30’s. My mom passed, and there is no way for us to explain that to him. I spent my whole childhood waiting for him to die, sadly, because that was what was expected, and he was always sick. In and out of hospitals, and my other brother and i became neglected. My mom really did try, but there just wasn’t time for us.
They were always exhausted, and i feel they ended up taking it out on us, in pretty bad ways, when we misbehaved. From the age of 9, i had to help take care of him, and the other kids, as my mom and stepdad had another kid. I didn’t really have a life at that age. There were times, but i was exhausted. At 19 i met the wall as they say, and I’ve never been able to really recover from that. I tried so hard to care about him, and i have no ill will against him, but as i child i did hate him, and i still don’t really have an attachment to him. I’ve had the talk, and if i know ahead of time, i will not give birth to a child that can have a severe handicap. I am helpful whenever i see anyone need help, but i do not want this for my self. I have had the talk with partners over the years, and I’ve had therapy, and i do not think he is the asshole. The funeral thing is sort of understand, although i feel he could man up for a few hours, but i feel he is staying away from facing the pain. I also understand his ex’s decision, as she really never lived it, and you just love the child in your stomach, but until you’ve lived it, you won’t understand. They become your life, and it’s almost impossible to live for your self when you have someone that needs 24/7 care. You have to have a trained nurse to have a babysitter, and for most that isn’t financially an option.
Yeah I was a bit surprised it wasn’t mentioned about the overall quality of life said person would have. What’s worse, being physically disabled but having no neurological issues, mentally no one is home (I apologize if I sound rude, I can edit this if a kinder one is suggested) and physically disabled or having both. Also I’d like to add a VERY REAL major concern that wasn’t brought up…$$. Listen we know how the world is, OP even said just for those test it was killing his wallet, imagine the cost (🇺🇸), insurance doesn’t always cover everything. So now add that to the mix
sam and josh were literally discounting what happened in the first story. It is so incredibly frustrating, when you say it isn't that serious it just shows how out of touch they are lol.
Okay let’s take the streaming out of it
Let’s say you, whether a job or hobby, tries getting into something new. Its going well, hell maybe made a couple people want to hang out because they have the same job or hobby.
Then cue who you thought you could trust (bf and friends) and they start degrading you and harassing you. Those people are gonna move away or avoid the woman now.
Either way it ruined OPs opportunity and little community she built in that moment.
Also there’s jokes, but then there’s harassment. One tries sending an explicit image that could get OP in trouble. A lot of people don’t want to see that either.
Yes to this!
Josh's take on the first story is so frustrating. Had to stop the video to add that haha but seems I'm seeing similar thoughts in the comments. Let's see what his other takes are...
@@cristina08888 I seen him on other videos I believe and I remember not liking his takes before- but hey they are takes, people will have different ones.
But this one was so annoying
It’s super sad :(
@@TabbyWithMittens I was actually excited to see him again because I actually thought he had great takes in a previous episode, but his reaction to that first story was atrocious.
The last story: NTA he has trauma and set clear boundaries, to which his ex agreed to. Her deciding last minute that she wouldnt honor their agreement, is fair but he's NTA for not changing his mind. He didnt want to live that experience, he never met the baby and what difference would it have made if he showed up. He walked away and was clear he wanted nothing to do with the entire experience good, bad, or in between. He supported her with child support which was the right thing to do.
I really cannot listen to Sam and his friend talking about women facing harassment online… yall are being so invalidating and completely ignoring why she was upset and focusing on “this girl is emotional and making a big deal so I don’t like her and she shouldn’t stream.” I usually love Sam but this was not it cheif
Sam never really has good takes when it comes to these stories and it’s really sad to see cause I like him :(
I love hearing you guys but from time to time come stories that you are clearly not prepared to comment on (depression, harassment, etc)
I believe this first story was one of this cases. Honestly didn’t even feel like hearing the rest of the podcast
so you guys are saying that if some of your friends came into your videos comment section and started trolling / bashing you wouldn't be upset? you wouldn't communicate to them your disappointment? you wouldn't get angry if they said "chill, a lot of youtubers get horrible comments, why are you upset 🙄"
food for thought.
Maybe I missed something, but am not sure if the friends were necessarily bashing her, but they did seem to me like they were trolling/harassing her and clearly driving viewers away. Personally, I don't think I would've felt / reacted like OP(I am a girl btw) as I don't think it would've bothered me as much if I was in her place. Even when considering all the other info, like the importance of the stream, that my fiance did not help out, and that the trolling was done by my friends. But, Idk, maybe there is more background info not shared in the post.
However, having said that, I am on OPs side and I think the friends and fiance were wrong. I think she was valid for feeling upset and it was good she expressed that. There can be multiple acceptable responses and feeling towards a situation. We are all different, have gone through different things, and process things differently. I don't think my reactions would have been objectively better than that of OPs. Sometimes there are more than one appropriate responses.
I think some of the guys had a hard time seeing past how they would react versus OP's reaction, and understanding both ways can be okay. They had a hard time seeing past their own lens to understand OPs point of view. OPs friends were wrong. I don't see how this prank was supposed to be funny. Even after she told them to stop and tried to establish boundaries, they kept going. Even after she was clearly showing she was upset they kept going. I am not sure how making a friend upset is supposed to be funny ??? And, to make it worse, instead of them and the fiance acknowledging their mistake right away, they invalidated her, which probably felt very crappy. Glad there was a resolution, though.
About the 5th story, even though we can all clearly agree that he needs therapy, I get where he is coming from. IMO, there are disabilities (things that can make your life harder but ultimately you can live your own life easily enough) and diseases or genetic mutations that makes the few months or years that you will have on Earth solely about pain, operations, treatments and hospital stays, so that you survive just a bit longer. Having a child is a selfish act in itself and i feel like subjecting your child to that, knowing that they will never have even the semblance of a normal childhood (maybe not even live to the point they can have memories of their childhood) is cruel and selfish. Unreasonable obstinacy is a reality and an abortion, while still painful and traumatic, is less traumatic than seeing your child suffering and not understanding what happens and withering away in front of your eyes. It's no surprises that pediatric care (in the sense of working woth terminally ill children) is something that very few health professional are able to do, knowing that they are already in death and sickness all day long. Seeing a child suffer to their last breath is a special kind of traumatic IMO.
1000% this. There's no doubt that he has a long term emotional wound but he was extremely clear about his stance and was under the impression his gf would adhere to that agreement, but she changed her mind. Her body, her choice. His life, his decisions. No one is the AH imo. Regardless, I hope they're both able to cope in ways that are healthy and effective the both of them.
i think in the first story she has every right to feel upset by this!!!!!! also on the same coin would i have reacted this way NO.
My God wtaf were those takes for 1st story. She repeatedly clarifies she’s not bothered by the harassment (because she’s used to it as a girl gamer, she even points out she’s had worse that’s not the issue!) it’s the fact her fiancé and friends are the ones trolling her!! It’s the streaming equivalent of opening up a restaurant &asking them to support her new business, they turn up, get really drunk & they make everybody so uncomfortable they leave. Extremely saddened to hear such dismissive opinions about the harassment women face online - especially the comments about over reacting. Josh is too dense to even comprehend the post, it wasn’t hard to follow at all. Don’t read from that subreddit again you guys don’t have the range to be fair and balanced with those kinds of discussions; let alone have an understanding perspective of anything to come from there. Yet again you guys completely missed the point of why OP is upset & therefore don’t understand their very valid reaction - this happened so egregiously before with a story where OP faced homophobia from their family (wouldn’t let his husband in the sibling’s wedding pics but sister’s boyfriend was). This is really really disappointing guys, I’ve told you before please do better!
The 1st story - some bad takes from Josh and Sam. Sorry guys…. The girl is posting in girl gamers about girl gaming? I’m sorry she was within her rights to be upset. I don’t like how they are blaming the girl for you guys picking a story from somewhere else…. Idk, didn’t feel fair.
The thing is I think Sam actually wasn’t thinking like that until Josh spoke. I disagree with his takes before but definitely was worse especially when convincing the others 😅
I think the nature of these podcasts is that one person mishearing things or missing details might send everyone on a path to an opinion that's unfortunately misunderstood
Agree, definitely poor take from Josh. He was so focused on how it was told and certain details, vs seeing that this girl felt betrayed and is so new and already struggled With this type of behavior and then had her support group do the same thing of harassing her. It's like she said she was not part of the joke, it hurt her and it resulted in something she cared about being damaged aka loosing viewers, some of her confidence she gained etc. Ugh Josh was so frustrating until that first story
If SJ ain’t in the ep I can never make it to the end
And it’s like the guys are missing the point even though the op said it multiple times, it wasn’t about the trolling it was about who was doing it and how she found out 😭 josh brings out the worst in the men
Josh takes good notes but had some terrible takes on the second to last story. You don’t owe a family that ignored you for 13 years anything. Not a conversation, nothing. Also, no one is required to have a child they don’t want, in fact, it’s probably better that don’t have the child to spare them the neglect. You can’t project your feelings about this issue onto OP. There are some disabilities that cause a child to experience nothing but pain until they ultimately die young, forcing a child to suffer that way is inhumane. Also, who/what was he going to the funeral for? His ex? The deceased child? Doesn’t seem worth the additional trauma for him.
He had terrible takes on the first story too
@@NeshaBoo21 all those notes for nothing
Awful take on the 1st one
"Just say you don't want it to happen again", She did say she didn't want it to happen again and blocked them but they continued once adding them back. Also the comment on if you lose the joy of it you're doomed is kind of the point why having friends support is important. If I invited friends to an art showcase or to a competition or a new professional endeavor and they decided to troll me of course it would hit much harder than if it was a stranger. You expect that from strangers. She clearly felt mocked especially in a space where female presence is often not taken seriously.
@@audreehutchinson2289 exactly! Glad you could word it better than me also cussing on stream ain't the same as lewd picture
1000%
Yeah I don’t think Sam or Josh really understood what was going on in the story. Cause the way they are commenting on it doesn’t seem like they hear what she’s or like they are trying to understand how she feels. Those two are talking about how she shouldn’t take it so seriously when Maddie literally just read the edit where she was telling her boyfriend how serious she taking this with the demographic training, social media accounts, potential podcast.
Like imagine if someone you called a friend or more disrespected you, the comfort level podcast, and your viewers back when you only had 40 viewers.
@lonniekilgore6723 yeah he even had to ask what was the question. They were definitely half listening...
1st story - Josh is truly hard to listen to, him and Sam will never understand what women face. Even in a platform like LinkedIn, we do get messages from weirdos. I love comfort level but this episode with Josh and Sam wasn’t good, Brandon is the only man on here who seems like he has a heart. & I know that’s because of his upbringing and his bond with his sister. We appreciate you Madi and Brandon
Lady, you have a way bigger problem than canceling a party
Yes, I’m worried for her.
For the first story; at the end of the day, you are on someone else’s streaming platform and not listening to the streamers rules and boundaries for how they want their community to act while viewing. She has every right to be upset, especially since they are her friends doing it.
First story is odd. I understand why she is upset and don't agree with the takes. Just because you speak a certain way in a group vhat doesn't meant ur going to act that way on a stream. They are 100% the reason why everyone left. 40 people isn't a lot but she may have to work from the ground up to get that viewership again
I see what you’re saying but let’s see it from this angle. My grandma told me when I was younger that “you play with a puppy you bound to get lick”. Now the lick in this case to me seems to be the joke types and setting. I don’t know if the boundaries between friends were known but if they were the friends and boyfriend are foul if not she can’t be mad they crossed a line that they were discussed that upset op. Also common sense ain’t too common some have to stop setting expectations on people without communication. I don’t know I’m just rambling at this point.
Really not jiving with Josh and Sam’s comments on the first story. Her friends took it too far and clearly upset her. “Jokes” amongst friends aren’t funny when the person who is the butt of the joke doesn’t laugh
The decision on the disabled child sound so biased. For one, you had a problem with him not contacting the family. Question, were the parents doing the utmost to contact him? And it seems they didn’t even acknowledge their negligence towards him
Secondly, you try to label him a deadbeat. Now that’s some twisted sexism. If the woman had an abortion, you would have totally supported her decision to do so. He made it abundantly clear why he didn’t want this child; on how it deeply affected him. And the girlfriend had the child anyways despite their decision. You’re having him have to be understanding of everyone else’s needs but his own.
And he paid child support.
I'm scared for this man's poor daughter if he'sthat adamantly opposed to having a girl. I hope this turns out where he ends up falling in love with her. She might become a daddy's girl.
The dude with testicular tortion: If I have NEVER done anything to make you believe that I would pull a prank like this, but you chose to belive that's what I'm doing, I would be so hurt! I wonder if he's always bugging her while she's out at the club? Why would she question his seriousness?
And I also agree with the blocking! The amount of people who block folks for temporary situations... 🤯
He did admit in some comments that he had pulled pranks in the past. He didn't specify the kind of pranks, but yeah.
The only thing I can think of is they may joke around a lot and pull pranks on eachother? But even then I wouldn't block my partner 🙁
Last time I heard this story I thought maybe she interpreted “my balls hurt” as blue balls
I have to assume he either calls her constantly/pranks her when she's out or she was already drunk when he called because I don't understand how else she would think that behavior sprung up from nowhere. Maybe he doesn't like the friend whose birthday party it is? Idk
I love you guys, but you guys proved the reason why she posted on girl gamer. I was sorry I would not be shocked by Sam and Joshes comments for they make these type of comments before on other stories, but you’re literally sitting on a couch running a stream/podcast as your job. How would you have felt if your friends, family, AND your partner got on to the comfort level podcast and we’re doing that type of stuff driving your viewers away. She is trying to start a career, it’s her job and not some fun Little stream. Also she explained multiple times she wasn’t offended by the Pikachu face, I don’t know why you guys got that so misconstrued on your side. Also I think anything person would block somebody if they were sending porn images in a chat, I would block and not trust any other images they were trying to send. Also, like how dare you try to tell somebody that something that hurts them isn’t important and shouldn’t be talked about. She posted on girl gamers looking out for advice from other girl gamers who deal with harassment and trying to work through having a career online. That was so disgusting and insensitive.
In the fifth Story he is a bit of an asshole but he's not an asshole for not going to the funeral.
Yes it's his child but he had no relationship with that child. Funerals are for the living not the Dead. Who did he want to see at that funeral? Who did he want to support?
He paid child support as well. He didn’t just leave his ex with no warning. Most men would just say they agreed to certain terms and since she’s going back on it raise the kid herself never to be seen or heard from again.
For the fifth story, I do think you have to consider quality of life for the child you are considering bringing into the world
The girlfriend went to far with blocking him and not taking his calls. However "my balls hurt" doesnt really express the severity of the situation, which is expected since hes in pain/ throwing up. It is shitty of her to not even check on him and ignore him regardless of whether she thought he was joking or not
I actually disagree with your takes on the guy with the disabled child. I don’t think he’s an AH.
Yes, he helped create the child but that was under the condition, which both he and his gf had previously discussed and agreed on, that if it had specific disabilities the fetus would have been terminated. The gf backed out in the end despite their previous consensus and knowing OP’s history and expectations (which is totally her choice, not saying it was right or wrong).
IMO he is within reason to step away from his gf and the child when placed under circumstances that goes against their previous agreement. OP did still pay child support willingly, as he should for his part in creating the child. The gf made the choice to have the child knowing she would have to raise the them on her own, and OP made that very clear since she decided to continue with the pregnancy.
As for the funeral, I am surprised at how much weight everyone was putting on OP to attend the funeral for a child that he was essentially nothing more than a sperm donor to. OP was not a father to that child in any meaningful way aside from DNA and financial support. There was no emotional/familial connection at that point, it would be like attending a strangers funeral.
To clarify: I am assuming, based on the context and early death, that the disability OP’s child was screened for and resulted in had very debilitating/low-quality-of-life conditions.
I personally don’t think it’s wrong/ableist to not want to bring a child into this world who will have little to no quality of life, especially if the condition results in chronic pain or suffering, for what appears to be an anticipated short life span.
@@rocket2themoon3 I'm not one to agree with abortions for his reasonings but he had his boundaries and gf agreed. He did more than a lot of father's who leave when the child is born. I can't be mad at him for his lines and not going to a funeral where he would be a stranger is nearly everyone there and possibly be the villian there.
For future episodes if there is confusion on a part of the story, could you please go back and reread that part again. Like not summarizing go back and read it out loud again. So misunderstandings don’t happen. This episode with some other episodes the talking points aren’t even a part of the story or a detail got twisted so the takes given aren’t really accurate.
Life expectancy and poor quality of life are not the same.
Funerals are for the living. Not the dead. They’re a chance to say goodbye, obtain closure, etc. He was not in a role or capacity that he needed to do any of these things. And I can see why he felt betrayed both by his parents who neglected him and the girlfriend who was the one that backed out of the agreement they made. Why is he obligated to go comfort people who betrayed him?
As for the termination issue, it is not ableist. We terminated a wanted and loved baby that had an extremely severe cardiac defect, spinal defect, and kidney defects. His prognosis was not good. His quality of life would have been extremely low had he survived. And they did not think he’d survive the pregnancy. We chose that out of compassion and love for him. Having “heroic measures” done and go through a life of painful medical procedures and not leave a hospital or skilled facility for our sake felt like the height of selfishness. In the end we didn’t have to make the decision as he died during an episode of preterm labor.
For the second to last story about the disability. That's a tough one. I agree with Madi 100% the guy needs therapy for sure to work through childhood trauma.
But I can also understand him not wanting to experience what he did prior when he was growing up. That's really difficult. And that's totally on every individual. You have to decide what's best for you and your family in the long run. Who knows, maybe this disability might cause the person pain while they are alive, maybe it's something incredibly expensive and not covered by insurance because they had the testing and had the options available. But at the end of the day it's up to the individual to choose. They talked about it, and came to an agreement and then she changed her mind. And that's ok, cause it's her body her choice. And him choosing to leave is also ok because that was his choice. I don't think it's ableist to make those decisions, cause it's all based on what best for you and your family, financially, physically, and emotionally.
As for him not talking to his parents after 10 years I can sympathize, cause it seems they spent all their time focusing on one son and forgetting they had another. And for him not attending the funeral, he had made his choice before the baby was born, his girlfriend choose what she wanted and he chooses not to be involved. I don't think he's an asshole. Everyone should be able to choose what is best for them and there life at the end of the day.
The victim blaming came HARD with the gamer girl story
Very concerning response to the first story.
Josh in particular is incredibly dismissive and it’s hugely problematic that his focus is on that he finds the details being ‘weird’. I think he needs to ask him self what he actually meant when he described the linkedin detail as ‘weird’ or that that fact that she didn’t know some slang as ‘weird’. The whole thing feels very devaluing towards the OP.
The pinned comment says Josh and Sam focussed mainly on the OP and her relationship with her friends. Id like to make the point that centering the discussion on whether there are previous issues between the group and suggesting this is what her anger is really about, is again very dismissive.
In addition just cos they are her fiends and she is in the online gaming world, does not mean she should have expected or have to tolerate that behaviour.
Finally the ending to the discussion and clearly showing such a strong disliking to the OP is 😢😢
I’m very grateful to Maddie for circling the convo back round to remind everyone what her friends actually said to her in the stream.
“Torsed” is the correct terminology. I’m an ER nurse, it does suck. Ovarian torsion is also a thing
… how do i avoid ovarian torsion at all costs? that sounds terrifying and i don’t even know how i would identify that
Speaking on the love is blind comment: Nancy worked with disabled children as a speech pathologist. She has first hand experience on how bad a disability can be. She knows the suffering a child will go through, she know how much money it will take to support a disabled child. It is more than wanting and not wanting a disabled child, its more about can your situation support a child with such high needs? Is it worth having your child purely suffer for their entire existence to only die at a young age?
Regarding: AITA For Leaving After My GF Gave Birth to Our Disabled Child
What this guy went through as a child is also not the same as what he would go through as a parent. So I wish he wouldn't run away seemingly so easily.
Also there is a difference between wanting to stop a pregnancy early due to the possibility to a child being disabled, and due to the possibility of the child being terminally ill. You can live a full life while being disabled, so would hope parents can live with that if possible. But I could understand if they knew in advance the child with have a very difficult and very short life too, that it maybe would be too traumatic to go through with.
You can have a life but some disabilities are so painful that the person offs themselves. Some disabilities are that bad where your on a multiple surgery a year regiment. Ive know those who are so pained they wish they were aborted..... life can sux
In relation to the disabled child story, I think it's ok to decide that if you don't want a disabled child, you shouldn't have one. Nancy from 'Love is Blind' mentioned she didn't want a disabled child because she saw the hurt it put everyone involved through, and didnt think she could handle it.
If you find out you will be having a child that may be born with disabilities, you need to be prepared to learn and grow to properly help them and give them the support they need. While I think people in general should have basic knowledge on disabilities and accommodation, not everyone will and a parent may hold resentment towards a child for being different.
In the end, whoever births the baby gets the final say and if you had a hand in creating the child, you should be there. He's the asshole because if knew there was no way he wanted a disabled child, he shouldn't try for a biological child. You never know 100% if a mother will want to terminate until it comes time for a decision.
Theoretically, if his new wife was pregnant with a disabled child and made the same decision, would he just move on to the next women till he got what he wanted? Don't run the risk if you aren't ready to accept the results.
@pikes_panic nah she changed her mind and thats her right but keeping him around would have hurt everyone
Horrible take on the first post to the point of it almost feeling satirical. It would be worse for the trolls to be your friends because your friends should support you, not chase away your viewers. And the pithy remark of “Some female streamers have it worse” is victim blaming. She shouldn’t be grateful it’s not worse. Trash take
Second to last story I think op made the right choice to not see his or meet his dead child op is the asshole but needed therapy but because he didn’t get it chose not to be a active part in his child’s life I think it’s better that he didn’t go to the funeral it could lead to more trauma and on top of that he may not act appropriate due to the circumstance
I love the podcast and am definitely okay with people having and expressing their different opinions, but Josh’s opinions are difficult to listen to especially with the streaming story. It seems like he doesn’t fully comprehend it and isn’t seeing the full extent to how upsetting it was to OP.
They got the disabled baby opinion wrong. He was clear he had his reasons and gf just distegatded them.
Brandon so innocently asking "what's a power bottom" 😩😩
Why was the 1st story even chosen for the pod? It's written horribly, reads horribly, and that makes perfect sense because it's NOT someone asking for advice. It's just some random girl venting to a very specific community. Awful story pick, awful story discussion.
Story 4: If she's in a club she wouldn't be able to hear him, he should just text and of course she's going to be pissed initially at the interruption. He should have said something more than 'my balls hurt' like I'm in excrutiating pain and throwing up. If someone sends me 'my balls hurt' I'm not going to take you seriously either. Also if she was drinking the GF would NOT be driving him to the Hospital in the first place?? Drunk driving hello?? There was NO ONE ELSE that he could think of to call???? Plus who is expecting clear, coherent thought processes from someone who has been drinking.
These people thinking that a girl should walk home in the dark in the middle of the night to just 'check on him' is crazy. 5-10 minutes walk for someone drunk or tipsy definitely not dangerous??? He stated plainly he doesn't like clubbing and drinking, and I got the impression he has bothered her, made excuses and ruined her night before which is why she blocked him. I DO NOT BELIEVE HIM WHEN HE SAYS HE HASNT PRANKED HER.
Additionally, some things he said don't add up. A) why would you remember a surgery? OF COURSE you would be sedated and would not be awake for stitching your testicle up. If you were he'd be giving you more anesthetic not having a chat to you about your testicle. B) I doubt that someone from emergency services would ask if someone else can take you - you called emergency services for a reason. C) Also how did he know she was 'mad' after coming home and finding the vomit, that sounds like his biased opinion, if I came home and found vomit i'd be worried not mad.
Streaming is a fake thing...says the guy sitting on a courch with his friends talking into a mic 😂
So... her friends drop in her public chat and sexually harass her (PUBLICALLY) but she is wrong for being upset with their behavior. Also, the hypocrisy in saying streaming is a fake thing while having a podcast as well as at least one friend who is making money from streaming. It seems yall would also be the kind of people to say "cyber bullying isn't real, just turn off the computer" while lacking the situational awareness that actions online can be just as real as in person. Subbed because I liked yall on TikTok when yall would cross my FYP but the long form video was... oof
I’ve been binge watching a lot of videos from the channel since I’ve seen yall on TikTok. I’ve seen some of the takes that get backlash. I decided to watch a more recent one since I’ve been 8 months out for videos (I started with recent episodes like a month ago).
I didn’t expect such a poor take on a recent video. I like watching and listening because of the chemistry and the diverse perspectives yall bring. But…come on…I hate having to come to the comment section to feel like my experience and feelings as a woman matter. I know it can sometimes be tough to imagine the other side of things as men but come on. These takes on women’s feelings and experiences are disappointing.
Can the pod just...address sam and his takes. Please. This is not the first the time im seeing sam being called out for his problematic takes. I cant watch yall anymore and i find myself picking episodes without sam in it.
I love that Josh is taking notes.
oof some bad takes with this one guys. thankful for madi always chiming in lol
re: the gender reveal story - i have an enigma of a dad bc despite being a gen x, conservative, native south texan he only wanted to be a girl dad lmao. i have one older sister and he told my mom when she wanted a second baby that he wasn’t sure bc he only wanted one if he knew it was going to be another girl (it was, me). he would’ve been happy with a boy, im sure, i think he just thought about how much of a nightmare some boys are to raise and how easily they can grow into bad men and that scared him. gender disappointment is valid, but a steadfast bias towards one or the other (especially in favor of boys) automatically makes me question your character/ideologies.
oh so the stream video happened because of mean girls at the party
Speaking on the Disabled baby story. I just really feel like he’s not the asshole honestly like wholeheartedly not the asshole for telling his wife he doesn’t want to take care of the baby if it has a disability. Now he is the asshole for not attending the funeral. I feel like that was a little cold hearted, and just inconsiderate of the fact that you also created that life but not the asshole for telling her he won’t be there. I really feel like it’s all about experience. He’s experienced it firsthand and to know that you’re gonna bring a life into the world who’s not going to see past one it’s just something that is traumatizing especially for somebody who’ seen and went through it.
And it’s like things can be triggers and it only takes a small thing a big thing anything to crash out for some people and to know the outcome of some thing and still go through with it and realize in the end you were right it’s a different kind of hurt in a different kind of trigger. With or without therapy he definitely needs the therapy, but either way I just feel like it wouldn’t have been good for his mental state not saying the wife wouldn’t feel anything, but she also hasn’t had the experiences that he has had and when you went through some thing you know the steppingstones in the patterns, and what it looks like. So I understand why would I do something that I know the outcome of is not going to be beneficial for myself you nor the life that we are bringing in. I can’t really go on and more in depth, but I see his point and I don’t think anything he did was wrong other than not attending the funeral
I agree with the not staying tho I disagree with you on the funeral part.
To agree, they discussed his history and she actively ignored it because baby. Her wanting to subject him to that again is messed up.
To disagree, he wasn't there to begin with, I don't think he deserves or even has a right to show up for the funeral. Wanting him there won't do anything good for anyone unless his ex-wife is the literal only person attending.
I can see all the stares and hateful comments on him not being there to begin with
Awww Sam plays all funny & tough but he’s such a big softie! I love how he supports his friends and he was an early supporter of Maddy’s streams and Brandon’s streams❤ Also, yay Josh is back!! I loved it the last time he was on. Such good energy and he thinks about the story as much as us the viewers do. Lol I’m only 15 mins in but I love how he takes notes and really thinks about it. If he’s your 6th best friend Sam then you must have an amazing top 5!
Sometimes the podcast really suffers when maddie is the only person with a female/feminine perspective. Not because only females or afab people, can understand female issues, but sometimes the guys (because they misunderstood or had a kneejerk thought) will talk over maddie. And i think she doesn't always know how to word why certain things in a story make her uncomfortable.
The first story reminds me of the story with the wife who found out her husband was making sexually charged comments to her boss and coworkers. Less serious, but still. This story's woman's fiance or bf, made her job difficult, upsetting, and sexually charged. It doesn't matter that its streaming, that she was upset and wasnt wording correctl, or anything else. People who supposedly love her started harassing her anonymously online. Thats it. If it was a joke, or serious doesn't change the fact that they did that. They highjacked her stream and chased of her viewers. The intent doesn't change the effect those actions have on her or her success streaming.
I kinda hope they readdress this story again another time.
First time listener and yall lost me after that gamer girl story. Those are some BAD takes. Byyyyyeeeeee
The gender reveal:
Often with CBT therapy, which is the most practiced kind in the states, you have to stay in therapy or go back. You learn all the ways to cope but that doesn't mean your brain changes.
Personally I found EMDR to be the best and wish I had access to it sooner.
CBT has also been proven to not be beneficial to people with certain conditions, like Autism.
The gender reveal story…someone needs to tell the husband that the MALE is the one the determines the gender of a person since they have XY chromosomes and females only have XX. We can *only* get the chromosome that makes a male from the male therefore the father needs to be blaming himself for the fact he has a daughter if he MUST have that attitude 😒
Ok dude with the disabled baby def needs therapy, but I don’t think he was a huge asshole. If you felt severely neglected as a child, I don’t think you owe the adults in the situation anything. And with the baby, both he and the wife agreed, it wasn’t something sprung on her. I think there’s a difference between weeding out any kind disability to make “designer babies”, and knowing that your child is likely to continually suffer the few years they’d have to live if they were brought into the world. I don’t think the potential of “well what if they actually beat the odds?” or “what if they find a cure within the next 10 years?” is a valid reason to bring someone you KNOW will have a probably life-terminating ailment, into the world.
I think y'all made some really good points in the disabled child story, especially considering it's such a nuanced issue that's personally close to my heart as someone with multiple genetic disabilities.
My thing is that every single person, no matter how healthy they are at birth, has the potential to become disabled at some point, and before intentionally deciding to have a child (and yes, he didn't have a day in the abortion but he DID agree to try for a kid) you have to accept and be prepared for that possibility, and you should not have any child at all if you are not willing and ready to be there for a disabled child, just as you shouldn't have a child if you aren't okay with the possibility that they might be queer.
What would OP have done if the baby has been born healthy and then ended up paraplegic from a car accident ten years down the road? Would he have bailed then? Frankly, the second he chose to try for a cups, he had a responsibility to be there for that kid no matter what, side they didn't choose to be born. And if you do want a kid but have trauma that might prevent you from being there in every way a parent should, then you have a personal responsibility to your partner and the child to go to therapy and get your head in order first.
That being said, I think he probably made the right calls AFTER that point since someone with trauma this bad who doesn't seem to accept that it IS his problem to work through (even if it's not his fault) probably would have done a lot of damage to the kid. Not to mention, he seems to blame his brother (out at least his brother's disability) for his parents neglect, when really that was their fault, not his brother's, as the adults) which makes me think OP may have held some always attitudes towards his own could
As a neglected sibling of a disabled child, I understand your points wholeheartedly, but I also think people cannot understand the trauma unless they've lived through it.
He agreed to have a child on the basis of their agreement. He (likely) wouldn't have otherwise. The girlfriend ultimately violated his trust by doing what she did. If the child becomes disabled later, that is a different matter.
I can't speak for him, but it's not about blaming the brother or disability, but it's about the mental distress he went through. It's a circumstance based trauma, it will come back when you are put into the same circumstance again.
He should've gone to the funeral to be honest.. but he doesn't owe it to anyone.
Depends on the disability. Disability can be a limb malformation or it can be a painful terminal illness. And people make the decision not to resuscitate or prolong life through painful, extensive treatments all the time with adults who suddenly suffer disabilities and medical crises so the adult argument isn’t as simplified as you made it as well
When I worked at Rite Aide 20+ yrs ago, the guy in the photo department would call me over to try and show me people's naked pics. 💀💀💀 I can't remember if we weren't allowed to give the customers their pics or not.
Same Guy was so iconic
L video L opinions and just terribly invalidating
It’s hilarious to me when men are mad at their wives for “not bearing sons” when the man’s genes determine the gender 😂
It's always the woman's fault. 🤦🏾♀️ Deflect deflect deflect.
2:58 my first thought was “madi wrote in⁉️⁉️”
The story about the disabled child is so heartbreaking. The father should’ve gone to therapy to address his trauma, and quite frankly if he was so against the probability of that happening, maybe don’t have kids. When you choose to bring a child into the world, you have to accept the possibility that ANYTHING can happen. If you’re not, it’s my view you should not have kids. It’s not fair this child lived their life, especially a life so short, without the presence of her father, and he couldn’t even come to her funeral.
he didn’t want to have the kid they agreed to terminate if it tested for certain disabilities during the pregnancy, the wife decided to go through with it, the disability can assumed to be severe which would lead me to calling the wife the AH bcs why would you bring a child to life knowing they will only struggle and be in pain for their short life
You’re awful if you’re willing to bring a child in this world knowing itll suffer from disabilities, I couldn’t force a child to live in pain knowing I couldve done something about it
@ahoycapnlizzie @horror9ix350 Actually, it was my understanding that he was okay with having a kid, just not a kid with a certain disorders. . I think what @es0516, may mean, and correct if I am wrong, that OP probably shouldn't have ANY kids at this time, regardless of having a condition or not. He needs to do some internal work first (i.e. therapy). This does not necessarily have to do with terminating due to finding out they might have a certain disorder/condition. In such a case, the parents have some awareness ahead of time of the risks. However, needless to say, screeners will not predict everything that will happen in life. What if a baby was initially found to be "healthy" at birth, had no prior indicators of any major health areas of concerns during screenings, for whatever reason, later develops a similarly painful/untreatable condition in which they will die from (similar to some genetic disorders screened for prior to birth) like a late manifesting condition not initially found, a painful fatal disease, or a they get a major injury, etc. ? In such a case, what is OP going to do? Just leave because he doesn't want a child like that? Will his love/attention be conditional?
Both can be true. One can choose to terminate the pregnancy due to the strong possibility they will live a painful, short lived existence. But, there is also a chance of having painful health conditions could not have foreseen/predicted during pregnancy/birth. Due to this, parents have to be ready, at least to some extent, for that. In my opinion, Op doesn't seem ready based solely on the info he provided in his post.
When it comes to the debate of ablelism, personally I would not want to give birth to a child who is only going to be living to suffer, ( such as severe disabilities where quality of life is extremely low) I don't want to ever force a person to suffer... I would be really upset but if I was told that my unborn child was going to be born in a situation where they are in extreme pain and are going to suffer until death that I would not want to bring them into the world. That being said, I don't care if my child has something like autism or other disabilities where they could still have some quality of life, I'm going to keep any child that I know could still enjoy life even if they are different or struggle with some things. As long as the pregnancy doesn't risk my life ( high risk pregnancy or a kind of pregnancy that is unviable or has a high rate of fatality, I know every pregnancy has some risk but if I'm told it WILL kill me then I'd abort for the sake of my current children and for my significant other, they need me not another sibling or child.) I will keep them. I always felt bad for the kids who were stuck in diapers in wheelchairs who couldn't speak or voice their pain or sadness or joy .. who couldn't connect to anyone and would just scream randomly and drool on themselves because a person was trapped in that body that doesn't function... Thinking about how lonely, depressing, frustrating, and hopeless that must feel ... And I wouldn't want that or wish it upon anyone.. but autism, ADHD, down syndrome, missing limbs, or anything of that sort where they can still in one way or another express themselves is fine with me and I was friends with them in HS. One girl I befriended I didn't even know had autism when I interacted with her I just thought she was shy and a bit awkward but she was one of the sweetest girls I knew .
20:42 so blue hoodie is a 13 year old boy and you cant convince me otherwise
Hm as someone with a disability i dont agree with the definition of abilism that was given. Yeah something ìs wrong with me, physically on a very specific level. but not like morally. I feel like abilism is when you just assume someone cannot do anything or certain things. Or not value them as a human/person because of it equally to anyone else.
Sometimes things can get "fixed" by just changing the environment. Sometimes nothing can get "fixed".
I damn well wish people could fix me. Not falling asleep inappropriate times and not being exhausted and tired all the time without medication would be great. Or not be hypermobile everywhere. Would also be great to not have to deal with the side effects of my medication. So do please medicine fix it :) but doesnt mean im less than anybody. (Also not my co-workers)
Story 4: Considering that their high school sweethearts and they just entered adulthood and a vague text like "my balls hurt" sounds childish, If I was in this girl situation.I think I would also assume that this is a silly thing.That my boyfriend is saying just because he misses me. I Completely see her point of view and after understanding the situation she handles it as you should, with an apology and genuine care. If he doesn't think he can forgive her, for what seems to be a misunderstanding. He should break up with her because if he can't move on, they can't move forward.
Side note: I feel like The same way guys don't fully understand what a woman's period is like is the same We don't understand what male bodies are like and having balls are like
But blocking him?! I could never. I would find the quietest corner in the bathroom and call back. People in my life don't call for no reason so I will call back.
The fact that he had a brother with a disability suggests that he may be the one carrying the gene to begin with. His trauma is valid but as you pointed out he is responsible for addressing that head on and working through that. He’s harboring resentment and hurt and it wasn’t fair to his then gf who he probably would’ve stayed with had she terminated her pregnancy! Then to not go to the funeral ? And to not even be there to support your ex over the loss of a child you both shared? He’s an unhealed asshole. I’m not sure he’s even ready to be a parent at all.
Yea, like, what would OP do if their healthy child became disabled later due to an accident or illness?
OP mentioned that they weren't the same disability, and that his brother's came from the mother.
As someone with a disabled sibling who was also neglected, I totally understand peoples' points, but you can't imagine the trauma it gives us.
This isn't something that can be fixed 100% by therapy, it's not resentment, it's a circumstance-based trauma. Having a disabled child will send people straight back into mental distress, which is clearly what happened here.
It would've been good of him to go to the funeral, but he doesn't owe it to his ex because she ultimately betrayed his trust. He made his boundaries extremely clear, they had an agreement, and that is what caused the break-up.
He is displacing his trauma onto this disability and his brother when his parents really should have done better to be there for him. I agree there are valid reasons to not want your child to go through that, but he's basically abandoning the child and making the child feel the same way he did growing up. He needs therapy to realize this is a trigger and needs to work through it. Why is he having more children 🤦♀️
I don't think he's an ah for leaving after she didn't terminate her pregnancy due to the fact that they discussed it and she agreed to it beforehand
not necessarily! there’s a lot of disabilities that aren’t hereditary, like down syndrome or cerebral palsy
Stop watching tbis channel a bit ago because of dude on the blue hoody, i come back and here he is yet again....this channel is going downhill because of these "guests" with horrible takes. She asked a question and he goes on some tangent about her personality...as if he doesn't have the most dry robotic personality ive ever seen in my life. 😂
Then goes "are their anymore details" WHY BRO?! What do YOU need details for you literally dont even like her lmao
On the 5th story I feel being pro choice should mean EVERYONE'S choice. He was clear from the beginning on his stance so when she changed her mind, knowing his reasoning (even if it is trauma induced), she should've been prepared for the outcome because he has a choice too. I know the gravity of abortion, and honestly believe it is not a decision to be taken lightly, that being said, he should be just as forced to be in the child's life as we'd want her to be forced to carry the baby. I'm iffy on his not attending the funeral but it's honestly not like he sprung this on her out of the blue.
With the second last story, I think he is kind of the bad guy because he did kind of peace out and didn’t go to the funeral (which is very cold) but I also think that what was missed out from the entire discussion was the fact that the girlfriend and OP had a discussion about this situation and AGREED that they would terminate the pregnancy. I can imagine that even if he didn’t realise, he may have been triggered by his past, in the way that the girlfriend choosing to keep the baby might have subconsciously made him feel like he was becoming a second choice again in the same way that he felt like a “second thought” from his parents.
I think that my main takeaways from this story is that it’s so important to go to therapy or seek some type of help or support and heal substantially BEFORE you enter or even consider going into a relationship. Also, when having discussions about very serious scenarios, like this one, take a while to really think through and ponder the situation and what you would desire to do, so that if the situation is to happen, you don’t end up changing your mind and leaving your partner feeling blindsided or even betrayed
realistically, the friends and boyfriend were incredibly disrespectful and what they did when shes trying to build an audience is fucked. shes completely justified, they are acting so immature as adults.
their takes on the first one really were off putting and ironic...considering they are doing a podcast. to say its " only a stream" very tone-deaf
Brandon is literally the best man in the entire world. Those other two ...(Suckin my teeth)
Oh I'm early early!
Same ❤
Story about the baby, guy is the asshole but she just had to move on cause she knew he was an asshole. But fatal disabilities can come after birth too. I think he just shouldn’t have had kids at all.
The Story of the disabled child is a rough one. I think that OP is definitely the asshole for not going to the funeral as well as not doing his due diligence in researching the likelihood of having a disabled child in the 1st place. Furthermore he should have gone through therapy before even entertaining having a kid. I think it’s huge negligence on his part. He gets points for taking care of the kid facially but that is about it.
What if she did abort the baby but they tried again and the same thing occured? I think it isnt fair to her to be put through that. I know they agreed to terminate but its different when you are the mother. She did break his trust though so he has the right to leave i guess. I know he has trauma from his childhood but the fact that the possibility of a disabled child is a deal breaker for him is sad. Having a disabled brother and not getting your parents attention is vastly different from raising a disabled child. He couldve done more to not be like his parents. But its grimy to me how he dropped his partner and flesh and blood to start anew somewhere else. He definitely needs therapy.
Brandon: what’s a power bottom?
Josh: Oh honeyyyy
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The last story was NTA for me. I have two special needs siblings and a mentally ill sister - if I KNEW my child would have a disorder I would 100% terminate. I will be the sole person responsible for my disabled siblings after my Mother passes - I genuinely don’t think I could handle having the responsibility of having to care for yet another person for the rest of my life. I understand the why it feels ableist but, from my POV, I feel like ppl get too caught up on the cute, squishy baby part and don’t understand that the baby grows up and has an adult body one day. They go through puberty and have mood swings just like anyone else - except (depending on the disability) a “bad” day can result in holes in the walls and kicked in doors. I can always tell when ppl haven’t dealt with a whole lot of disability in their life because the conversation always derails into “but it’s your family” and like yes - it’s my family but this is MY life. The only life that I will, presumably, ever have. I cannot spend my entire life caring for others.
It’s a difficult decision but I genuinely feel like, unless you grow up with this (not as the disabled person but just the bystander in the home whose life is unwittingly impacted by someone else’s disorder) it’s difficult to understand the scars it places upon the the other children in the home beyond “it must be difficult.” I’d only advocate for continuing with the pregnancy if they’re your only child. Not going to the funeral - I understand it sounds awful but I actually understand why he said no. He only met the child once in the years the child was alive. I agree that his not wanting to go was definitely tied to how his parents neglected him but going to funeral would not be closure for him. The point of funerals is for closure - a moment to congregate with all the ppl who loved that person in life and grieve as a community. Saying that - I’d have gone. Not to say “goodbye” to a child I never knew but to acknowledge that the child existed and (at least in blood) was mine.
Ableist story: This dude is the AH. He should get therapy before having children. Not all disabilities/ND can be tested for prior to birth, may not be diagnosed until later and could happen at any point in life due to sickness/accident. Having a child is a risk no matter what and you have to accept that or don't have children.
Now, make a change in HOW you handle multiple children and attention. Change how you parent and don't repeat your parent's mistakes. Additionally there are more supports, therapies, medicines etc than there were likely when your parents went thru it.
He seems to have no empathy at all for the hardships his brother and parent's faced. For his girlfriend that he left to deal with this.
I have two ND kids. One ASD/ADHD/Anxiety and one with dyslexia. It is super hard some days, but no one gave me a guarantee on their health and only one is biological to me.
All daughter's convo: American education is sooooo BAD. Men determine gender based on their sperm. He can do IVF and select male embryos if he wants but it is alllll based on what sperm inseminates the egg.
Women have XX chromosomes, men have XY. There for you have 4 total to choose from X, X, X, Y. All eggs are X and sperm can be X or Y. Sex is based on getting half your sex chromosomes from each parent. Since the dad isnthe only carroer of Y, they are completely responsible for sex of the offspring. Additionally Men with poor sperm counts and morphology tend to have more girls and girl sperm tend to be more robust. (Thanks 12 years in the infertility world for a wealth of knowledge)
1:36:00 the thing with this is she made the decision to keep the baby knowing he wasnt going to stay. She knew she was going to have to do that alone he did what was required of him and imo thats all he was obligated to do. It was her decision to put herself in that situation and his decision to not do the same
Ftr with The first story if you send in a image made with keyboard symbols its most likely going to get deleted or filtered out because on twitch (which is what I'm gonna assume she's using) the STREAMER can get banned if they don't no matter what the photo is
These second to last story was super loaded and sad. I can understand calling him the a**hole for the funeral. However I think the most important this was said towards the end everybody had a choice. They decided together as a couple to make a decision based off certain medical findings. Mom made a choice to back out of that agreement. I don’t think he was the a**hole for doing the same. I think he understood his trauma enough to know that he didn’t want to be like his parents or end up mistreating the child if he stayed. There are so many other variables that could have gone through his head as to why. I think everybody sucks in the second to last story
thinking about it, if someone they had on the show started talking super out of pocket and said fucked shit on this show they wouldnt post it and would be upset, like cmon now, you know damn well shes justified.
So was the girlfriend supposed to walk back drunk, then drive drunk to the hospital??