How Long Before My Ex Misses Me?
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- Опубликовано: 20 авг 2024
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Video mentioned: “Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact” • Stages Ex Goes Through...
How long before your ex misses you after a breakup if you are using the no contact rule? Coach Lee answers this question and more in this helpful video for those growing impatient with the no-contact process.
In his latest video, Coach Lee delves deep into the complexities of the "no contact rule" and its impact on the process of making your ex miss you. With a wealth of experience in relationship coaching, Coach Lee provides valuable insights on the multifaceted nature of human emotions and the crucial factors that influence how long it might take for your ex to start missing you.
The burning question on everyone's mind is, "How long until my ex misses me if I'm using the no contact rule?" Coach Lee doesn't offer a one-size-fits-all answer, as he understands that every relationship is unique and that emotions are not easily predictable. Instead, he emphasizes the importance of understanding the nuances involved.
Coach Lee highlights that the effectiveness of the no contact rule hinges on several key variables.
Firstly, the amount of time it takes for your ex to miss you depends on their personal process of reflection. This process varies from person to person and can be influenced by the depth of the relationship and the reasons behind the breakup. Some individuals may start missing their ex sooner, while others may take more time to come to terms with their feelings.
Another crucial factor Coach Lee underscores is the influence of external factors on your ex's emotions. People are influenced by their friends, family, and even social media. Coach Lee advises viewers to consider the impact of these external influences on their ex's mindset and the timeline for missing them. Sometimes, a little distance can help your ex recognize their true feelings when they are not constantly being bombarded by external opinions.
Coach Lee also discusses the presence of a third party, such as a new romantic interest, in your ex's life. This can significantly affect the time it takes for your ex to start missing you. If they are involved with someone new, it may take longer for them to realize the void you left in their life. Coach Lee offers strategies for dealing with this situation, emphasizing patience and self-improvement during the no contact period.
Additionally, Coach Lee highlights the importance of how your ex viewed the relationship before the breakup. If they had a positive and fulfilling experience with you, it's more likely that they will begin to miss you sooner. Conversely, if the relationship was filled with negativity and conflicts, it may take longer for them to recognize your absence as a loss.
Throughout the video, Coach Lee emphasizes the importance of self-care and self-improvement during the no contact period. He advises viewers to focus on their personal growth and well-being, as this not only increases their attractiveness but also builds their self-esteem.
Coach Lee's empathetic and insightful approach to the topic reassures viewers that they are not alone in their emotional journey. He provides practical guidance on navigating the complexities of post-breakup emotions and emphasizes the need for patience and self-reflection.
In conclusion, Coach Lee's latest video offers a comprehensive and empathetic exploration of the question, "How long until my ex misses me if I'm using the no contact rule?" By acknowledging the intricate nature of human emotions and the various factors that come into play, Coach Lee empowers his viewers to take a measured and strategic approach to rekindling their ex's feelings. His emphasis on personal growth and self-improvement during the no contact period underscores the importance of self-care and resilience in the pursuit of rekindling a lost connection. Coach Lee's expertise in relationship coaching shines through, providing valuable guidance to those navigating the challenging journey of post-breakup reconciliation.
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Coach Lee I have a testimonial. 19 days in no contact she came back. We are in the taking it slow stage. That was my plan which I got from you. She agreed. Listen to this man people.
How are you now? @waltermitchell7435
Okay, I am crying after reading your comment ❤️😭😭
Update????
she will leave again not enoufgh time between the breakup there need to be time in between...woman dont learn.......from their bad behavior unless it really hurt them!
Bro stop bragging everyone does have a good story you people need to acknowledge that.
Isn’t it ironic that their negative view of recent years about you/or the relationship doesn’t include how they behaved and ignored your feelings and that’s why you became difficult
I could shout the same. Stay strong, we can do it
@@carnigoth Ty-you too
So true. Absolutely true. Hang in there. We will all get through this together
Exactly! Had my ex say I’m so tired of the drama and just want peace. Well the drama was centered around the fact you had multiple other girls you were entertaining while in a relationship with me. Maybe if you didn’t do that we would have had peace. But no he just acts like I was the one at fault
Currently going through this too. She keeps wondering why I walk away when she’s consistently telling me that she doesn’t want to be with me
"Let the breakup make them miserable"...never thought of that one.😮
But how can NC effect him? If he enjoying life with someone else or he has so many options
I feel like it usually takes a month or two for someone to "miss" you, but a year or two for them to MISS you. Because it doesn't truly set in until they've had a few more failed relationships.
choose me or lose me! we gotta be strong here people! know your worth!!!
Been in no contact for 3 years and 2 months. I no longer want her back, but I still watch your videos because they brought me comfort at the worst part of my life. Thanks Coach for getting me through it. 🙏🏻
Thats not no contact anymore, yall moved on..
@@rensoalink4101 exactly she has moved on and I advise you do same too
Damn, no "contact" for three years. Dude... that's just pathetic. No offense.
Same here
I think if its more than 1 year its a gone case.
She came back, it took a bit over a month. And she realized that she wanted to work on us, “the loss of feelings” was never true. I just wanted too say thank you to Coach Lee. This man truly changed me and helped me so much. You’re such a great human being❤️🥰
Don’t lose hope❤️
I'm in the same boat, she didn't say she lost feelings, but she did say that love is blind and now her eyes are opened, the things that were ok she realized is now unnaceptable ... which makes her say "I don't love you like I did a week ago" which hurts even more
I think she might confuse feelings with love? Because there are ups and downs when it comes to feelings? Like think of honeymoon phase vs when both are busy with career/school?
How many years was the relationship? What caused the breakup in a way that she said her feelings changed? And can you tell us the story on how she reached out to you and what did you do after she reached out?
@@MS-qg6jp Thats exactly it, because my ex said that she lost feelings. And the thing is that, what she only needed was time.
She has broken up with me 2 times, this time was the third. The second time she also said that she lost feelings. She never did, I think sometimes it's a matter of realization that they never really lose feelings, it's just that they need time. And that's what's helped me very much as well was giving her that space
@@MS-qg6jp We were together for about 11 months (almost a year) I would also say that the reason for the breakup lacked communication, and very little saying of what we REALLY feel.
The night she broke up with me, she called me and told me that we needed to talk, I knew immediately what was about to happen. Long story, she told me that she lost feelings, and she just felt like she needed to be alone basically. And I believed and then I started to watch Coach Lee, and really dived into the knowledge of truly how NC works. A bit 2 weeks passed of me not reaching out.
She sends me a message and just asks me how things are going with work etc, and at this point I had already bought the Emergency breakup kit. And that kit helped me a TON, to understand what was happening. The process of her getting her back was a VEEEERY slow process. I just talked to her casually, and treated her like a friend. After a while she told me that she wanted to meet, and basically said that she had some doubts. And now present time, we're trying to figure each other out and we're taking things very very slowly.
Trust the process❤️and don't let your feelings get to your head, be patient. And it will all come to fruition. Trust me, don't lose hope, because I nearly did, and I got her back❤️don't give give up and listen to Coach Lee❤️
@@Kingalex0120 have you ever had thoughts like okay maybe the "space and time" she needed was more like for cheating and hooking up with other guys without technically cheating?
I keep thinking “is this the day” that I hear from him.?
I can’t shake it. I’m trying. Thank you
Amy, I think you said in another comment that you are married. If so, you need my free mini-course on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/
I hope things worked out. I think seeing things go well for others gives me hope.
I struggle. I want my person to reach out. Ideally she’d reach and understand my concerns. Like coach Lee said everyone wants a relationship ship that feels equal. If you feel more invested, more committed, like you desire them more I think it creates this kind of lingering resentment that reads its head when things go south. But the hike she left is so large I might just take what I can get. Yet intellectually I know I deserve more
Don’t loose hope , no contact actually works 😊and if they don’t come back you’ll have all that time to heal and work on yourself
No contact worked! I almost moved on after 2 months of NC and he reached out!!! Thank you coach Lee for creating these great videos.
It’s crazy how there are good days and bad days. This was my first relationship in a decade. I was so lonely for so long, and now after only five months, I’m back in the same place, but sooo much worse.
Coach Lee, once again I praise you for literally saving my life 18 months ago. I could never explain how grateful for you! I wish I could personally thank you, that's how much of an impact you've made on me & I'm in my late 50"s
18th day of no contact my priorities shifted from "wanting her back" to looking forward for the future and being on my own
she broke up with me at the start of the month didn't block me at first but then out of the blue blocked me everywhere
which was overkill
i tried reaching at first but only ended with more blocks and no answers
some people are just not worth it
some are just toxic
and losing them isn't a loss
Agree
im on day 17 my situation is not as bad as yours but i wish you all the best and positive vibes
You moved on in a couple of weeks? You’re either delusional or you never loved her
@@muhamedadel2012everyone is different. We all heal or decide to heal differently
Them blocking you for no reason either means they’re with someone else or you are still constantly in their head
Guys - listen to coach Lee. My ex and I have got back in contact after roughly 4 weeks of breakup and a previous 3.5 year relationship. She initiated things and wants to work on getting back together. Take things slow and the best thing to do is to give them the breakup! Time helps! Thanks Coach Lee!!!
Me and my ex also have a 3.5 y relationship...now she left...it is 3 weeks now...i feel so bad
Congrats to you. I'm happy for you
@@dm904 Stay strong! It’s horribly difficult, but time heals. I tried to go out and do as much as I could to keep my mind off things, took a whole month. Stay in no contact and good things will come!
She still haven't reached out it's been 1 month since the break up happened
4 weeks is very short. Congrats
I see a lot of people mention increasing your value during time apart. I think it’s important to acknowledge that growth looks different for everyone. My ex told me recently that one of the reasons she fell in love with me was how I treat people. I work in a grocery store and drive a 2005. Understand you do t have to force yourself to pursue financial or career based value if that’s not your personality type, but investing in friends and family is also a pretty good method of self improvement.
Then why is she your ex? Just wondering. And of course I think a lot of people know that. Hence why you see people who work at grocery stores or Walmart being married or with someone, and they have children too.
@@SVAsianPhilippinesGo6858 I just wanted to be encouraging, sometimes the thought of a career change or learning a new passion can be daunting. The reasons she stated for being my ex were that with her new job, she was overwhelmed (she works 6 days a week), drained, had stopped exercising or seeing family, and felt that she was burning out on the relationship. A couple weeks later we’ve talked, it’s more of a fear of abandonment, avoidance, and bpd unworthiness and she is now back in therapy. I’m just letting her go do her thing now. If she wants to talk she will reach out.
I was trying to clean out my contacts and accidentally called my EX. I immediately hung up before it rang but oh lawd I got so scared. I've been doing so well with No Contact and I do not want to mess it up because of an accident, lol.
I've followed your rules and he and I have been together 3 months ago. We are happy 😊
Yes! A success story. Very happy for you and hope we all have similar outcomes.
So happy for you! May I ask how long until he reached out?
Indeed. I find this inspiring.
You are the real OBI-WAN KENOBI. Dont force it, let it flow!
I honestly have to thank coach Lee. During this 3 months his videos and his advices were number 1 support to me in this breakup. Listening Every night to his videos taught me to remain strong and value myself. Although she did not contact me. But it doesn’t matter anymore. I found truly myself and what I am capable of.
After one year of no contact my ex reached out and she confessed that she was thinking about me the whole time. Once the honeymoon stage with her new boyfriend was over she couldn’t resist reaching out to me any longer. At this point I had fully moved on so it was easy enough to be attractive to her. I declined to get back together but we are close friends.
Yeah life is complicated but it just rubs me the wrong way if she's tried another boyfriend and when that didnt work out came back to you.. again, people and life is complicated and maybe you could make it work if the attraction was still there, but i dunno
@@Drikkerbadevandyupp i agree, i wouldn’t get into a relationship with her but it’s nice to know i have the option and i love spending time as friends because we have so much shared history. This is actually a much better set up than before. Now i have hot, young women im dating for sex and my ex wife for a really close friendship. The best of both worlds.
@@EdvinG maybe. I think you're selling yourself short if you don't seek out a fulfilling relationship with just 1 woman.. and I hope you're not just leading your ex on. Even if she made a mistake and hooked up with someone else too fast she doesn't deserve any false hope of a relationship.
And dating someone just for sex? Man if that's what you both are on board with, then OK. But it's not very pruden or wholesome and nothing good will come out of that imo. Only temporary gratification and satisfied lust, but more hurt feelings in the end because you have inevitably bonded. Again I hope you don't take this the wrong way I don't want ti judge you, but life is too short to have meaningless relationships only based on sex.. but I know I'm in the minority
@@Drikkerbadevandit’s very difficult to find one woman that has everything i’m looking for. Sexual passion and a wholesome friendship are inversely correlated. You can’t really have both. My ex wife understands i’m not looking for a relationship, she’s very aware that i much prefer my bachelor lifestyle. I’ve had a deep, meaningful relationship with one woman and as great as that was it detracted from my personal development so now i choose to date multiple women with each one complimenting my life in a different way.
@@EdvinG you call the shots in your own life. as long as you're happy
I've been dating this girl for 5 years and recently we broke and I tried to get her back but she already dating someone new, I don't want to wait around for this person to come back. I'm Just going to focus on myself, be the Men i want to be with and live my life to the fullest... I don't want to be in someone life if they don't want me to be..
It was three months she came backed last week🙂 thx coach 🙏
Still together ?
Update?
@@MehrabAhmed she left again 😭😭😭🤣
@@speeddemon3063a little story time of how it went wouldn’t hurt
@@speeddemon3063How long did it take her to leave again this time?
I'm thinking it's over for sure. Been 5 months since the breakup but her reason for the breakup is that I don't validate her feelings and she's not been happy in the relationship for 6 years.
7 days no contact…. Staying strong she broke it off after 12 years
How’s it going
It shouldn’t matter if they miss your or not. What matters is you move on and don’t look back. Use this time to level up your money or increase it. Money doesn’t buy happiness but it’s a damn good down payment to a great life
YES - Time is the scariest thing to do - because it feels like doing nothing - but it also shows strength and triggers reconsideration more effectively than anything else as well
How can I be strong when I see I’m blocked on every platform? Venmo, tik tok, Pinterest. Probably on text. How am I suppose to feel confident after begging and pleading? I feel like I messed up everything. I’ve been working on myself FOR myself, therapy, working out, mini vacations, etc. but I still wake up in panic, I still believe we can reconcile.
@@simplexclothing3822 Feel the Same if you Need Someone to Talk Tell me
@@simplexclothing3822not matter how you acted, no contact will make you look strong! Be glad you can’t reach out so you can heal. It’s also the only thing that will make your ex miss you if there’s a chance. Stay strong
@@simplexclothing3822embrace that feeling, it means you have the capacity to care, most people don’t. If you didn’t feel this type of pain yourself when things went wrong you’d be just like the ones who cause the pain with no remorse. Embrace it and never stop what you’re doing even when it feels like it’s been forever and nothing’s improved.
@@simplexclothing3822I feel you man.
Im going through a breakup right now. This my first time experiencing. The problem was with her, her mental and spiritual life. I loved her 100%. Im letting her go now, i sent her my last message that i will come back and show myself to her
and going to give it a try again after a few years. I need to patient. Thank you for the new perspective and giving me hope to try.
I will come back to this video in a few years and give you guys an update!
Don't show yourself and don't look for her because this is a weakness. Work. For. YOU! Progression kind of shows itself and she will see it in good time. Trust me, it would be better for you if she sees it in you instead of you showing it to her. Cheers!
If they do come back, how can we get over that they've been intimate with other people while apart? That stings.
That’s tough. I suggest you join my support community at LoveDynamics.com
Have the self respect to not take them back. They can’t just try out multiple ppl and then come back to u or they’ll leave again.
They didn't want you when they had you. You're not a toy to be played with. Have more self-respect.
Yeah different people have different attitudes to that. Personally I can't get past it and can't be natural around them after that. Nor would I be able to "perform"
How could you take back the guy who dumped you and no explanations and not even a week after the break up he is dating the ex, 4 years relationship went to waste. Being a rebound is the worst!
You are very clear and concise in your delivery it is so admirable, you really want us to stick the no contact and you are very helpful!! God bless you Coach Lee, you are doing the lords work!! ❤
We had an argument couple days ago about me not trusting him. We had talked things out but today he decided to broke up with me.. it was completely out of the blue. It was a serious relationship with more positives than negatives but a lot of interferences from other people.
I've always heard that not calling an ex shows them that you don't care. I choose No Contact because I found that the previous alternative supports the continuation of issues that caused the breakup. Whether my ex comes back or not the challenges of no contact are helping Me. The last 2 years of our 3 year relationship were tenious after sex went away and gaslighting came in. I gave warnings that I would not continue living the way we were. After enduring feelings of inadequacy and other negatives I asked her to leave. In my mind she had left the relationship already.
Did they reach out to you?
@@lottiebowdenbowden238 Yes...with a request for friendship.
My breakup is interesting: It went from her saying, "You are outta here!" 3 months ago to a very stable, mature, relaxed relationship thou I do not live with her for the time being. It's like we are still together but currently living apart as I grew and became a better man which she has acknowledged, as she is ultra busy with getting her business venture off the ground. I come overvto the house often, walk the dog, hang out, go to dinner together, and have face-to-face face chats about things that are NOT about the breakup as if I had never left. What would you call my dynamic coach Lee? NO...she is not using me. I know much better than to be manipulated.😉
Been no contact of 6 months. I don’t deserve him. I thought he was the one but no. I thought it was the end of the world for me. But now I’m dating and happy to be single.
When you’re married for 20 years and have a family and in your heart they’re you soulmate-doing the right thing during the initial period of break up isn’t easy to do. You act upon what your heart and soul ask of you. You learn in hindsight what you should’ve done differently. Unfortunately it’s a lot easier said than done when you have two decades invested. Logic is often not a factor in the beginning when you’re devastated
What you said is very true. My ex ended it without warning 6 weeks ago after 16 years. It literally broke me, and all I want to do is contact her, because I know I can fix things if she’d let me. I know she’s my soulmate and my forever person, but also the one who chose to leave without waning or allowing me to at least try to fix things and repair what was wrong in our relationship. This pain is unbelievable and having to go no contact and make yourself appear more indifferent is horrible. I’m really trying, but not at all looking forward to being single and having to date at 56. Hang in there and hopefully we can get through this with videos and mutual support.
@@captcraig7325 can I just tell you -you cannot fix it. Whatever she’s going through is not your cross to bare. I did the exact same thing-i knew I could fix it-but I’ve learned through this last year and two months-it was never even about me. It is hard, some days feels impossible, I cried earlier today. The healing of yourself is what you need to focus on as you can’t control anyone else or how they feel. I promise you, you have to focus on you and what you’re experiencing instead of what you think she’s putting you through.
It’s very difficult. Like shedding an identity. Scary and liberating all at once. Being 12 thousand kilometres away certainly helps the NC
@@quinn3974am in the same boat, am across the ocean and feel so helpless due to distance so have no choice but to go no contact
@@captcraig7325am in the same boat…
When my ex reached out after 6 months all she managed to do was retroactively tarnish my view of her & our relationship by displaying immature & disrespectful behaviour when I didn’t drop everything & start fawning over her.
Ironic how I kept her in my heart after she broke up with me for no good reason but it was her reaching out that made me ultimately dislike her.
Yeah mine was absolutely bizarre - acting very warm and submissive but at the same time telling me about another guy she'd been "talking to" and even sending me screenshots of their conversations!
@@countdowntorevolution9986 similar to mine, she brought up some guy a couple of times & when I told her I wasn’t interested & didn’t know why she’d want to tell me she said ‘to see your reaction’
Like, if you want to break up & go be with some other sucker just do so, why involve me?
this is not our first breakup. He was not giving me what I needed so I had to cut it off. He left me on delivered and I saw after less than 2 weeks he jumped into a new relationship. I’m trying my hardest to stay strong but having to walk away from someone you loved hurts
It’s interesting when women say “he wasn’t giving me what I needed.” But what are y’all doing to meet halfway? The guy doesn’t always have to be the one chasing. It should be a 50/50 chase to where you’re both shooting for goals & growth. My ex said the same, I said no prob, left and now I’m happy with someone else who appreciates me. My ex is begging to get back now. Grass isn’t always greener and it’s better to communicate, work at it, instead of breaking up on temporary emotion.
Coach Lee, could you do a video on how to break a trauma bond? I’m really struggling. Thanks for all your videos ❤
Amen
What do you gain from trauma? Nothing, cool. Then whatever and whoever is giving you trauma, cut off. Work on yourself, never make q situation or an other person more important than yourself. You're obligated to become a better version of yourself. There is no other easy way or shortcut!!!
@@jaunitolee4999you say that like it's no big deal. It's literally a psychological loop they are stuck in. Just like an addiction
Listen Sam Vaknin 😅 you will get over it in no time
so desperate to be that guy that pops up in this comment section and says shes back. ive been blocked and her family members have removed me as well. honestly a struggle but giving it a bash
My ex broke up with me this Monday. It was strange, we were just very okay last Sunday the on Monday she said something like. "If you can't understand me, let's end this".
I have other priorities too in life so instead of arguing, I let her be and she unfriended me on facebook afterwards. Anyway, Thank you Coach Lee been watching your videos since this week.
Narcissist. She wants you to read her mind...move on
Sounds like my ex. Broke up Friday she has bpd and I believe narcissist tendencies. Run for the hills!
Did she come back?
The binge drinking alcoholic 35 year old son did not like me, and told his Mom I was not welcome at his house any longer. I think this played a significant role in my ex’s decision to dump me. Now 3 weeks into NC……after a 5 year relationship.
It's been quite some time. I don't think she's coming back now. I've watched your most videos except those marriage one. Thank you for being there in my worst time.
Any luck?
@@elclassico0193 Today I realised she unblocked me on whatsapp. Idk what to expect……not jumping to conclusions.
Hope everything goes well.
It gets really tricky when both parties jump quickly into a rebound relationship and get married to other people. And both parties regret it.😢
😂😂😂😂
All facts spoken, but the truth is that nothing you do matters. Reaching out to the wrong person will not work out, but so would also "giving them the breakup." Reaching out to a person who wants you will result in reconciliation. They will characterize you however they want and either stick to their narrative, or they will see a grave mistake. It's almost always going to be the former. A true love wouldn't make this mistake in the first place.
What a smart man😳full of wisdom. I’m shocked. You always presented goodies on the table. Yea sometime a family member always loves to play the role of a mentor now for them to see that they’re in a relationship with someone else that could be catastrophic for them. Jealousy is not a joke.
In the end I believe when an ex initiates a breakup or time/space for themselves it’s because they want to feel alive again without responsibility and do the things they were holding back during the relationships. Also do I think it can help really well for a relationship when they start missing you and realize there is no one like you. But at what cost do you want that to happen. Because that means they were thinking the grass was greener on the other side while that’s not the case especially not in today’s world. The grass is green where you water it. I’m a person that always want to save the relationship together, but helped me also to realize where I stood in the relationship not only with her but also with myself. It was like a wake up call because the relationship was to comfy that I didn’t realize I was standing still the whole time. I want her back but in the end I’m not sure if I can take her back if she will come back. Because the thought that someone else tried to have a connection with her and maybe shared a bed. Nah man that ain’t it for me I want my girl to be mine I don’t want to share. And if you don’t come back stronger as a real masculine man she will repeatedly do this to you! And believe me guys I’m in a fight with my heart and head but there are plenty fish in the sea and your ex isn’t the most beautiful girl you have ever met the emotional and physical bond you had with her made her the most beautiful girl out there and that feeling will fade away. So keep your head up and stop simping over a b*tch that chose to leave if she really loved you she wouldn’t leave and probably she just wanted to stop cheating and look over her shoulder and hide stuff. Man up and find yourself the best wife in the world!
You made many good points. I am "elder" and have gone through a few of this. My personal feeling? As a man, once I break up, it will stay that way forever. In general, before the break up, I will do my best to fix it. Some women will want to come back, it does not work for me.
I'm sort of the same, but it's fecking hard to turn off those feelings sometimes :(
I subscribe to that also because in most cases it will never be the same! But for those who wants to fix it's also fine but they need to focus more on improving themself,
Are you an Aries?
Just move on and dont chase..make effort to correct your mistakes on new relationship
Coach Lee..ThankYou for your always so clear, precise & straight to the point explanation. Always makes so much sense to me. Really appreciate. Thanks again...
Thank you Alice. I’m glad to help.
Of more than a year of always breaking no contact and he had a rebound, just 2 months ago I strictly followed no contact then, I broke it again. But at this time I'm not begging or pleading or asking him to comeback. I just got my power back and made boundaries and dated someone. He saw my story and called me and now he just wanted to see me and telling me that I am important to him and he wanted to see me. I asked him are you going to cheat on your gf? And he said no. I said good. And he still insisted to see me. I heard him like crying but ofcourse I said no coz I don't want him to cheat on her even though I knew the girl took him away from me... She knew me and my bf are still together while she was flirting with him... One of a unique situationship🤦
I would wager she missed me for a second or two. She found my replacements quickly so I'm sure her "feelings" for them are as worthless as her feelings were for me.
I just get to eat the loss on this one.
After a 3 year relationship she took 90 days to reach out crying and saying she loves me and misses me and all that. We are not together STILL
I've now stopped hoping my ex will come back.
We've been through an awful lot to even be together. I've never felt a love like we had. It was the most beautiful thing to ever happen to me. He was my everything and I was his. Finally, we'd reached a point where we could be. It was then he started to pull away.
I challenged him on this and said I could feel it. He denied it. But then we had a few more arguments. He got violent during one. In another, he told me sometimes he doesn't even want to have sex with me, but does it anyway. I felt awful.
I still loved him and a month after breaking up we met up and it was the same magic between us as before. He said he wanted to work on himself and then try.
Then he started therapy and has just completely shut down on me. He keeps saying his head is a mess. We met up once since. Before we met, he would say he loved me, he would use phrases we used to tell each other we loved each other.
Then when we met, he said he wasn't looking for anything, just wanted to be friends. He said he didn't miss me, didn't love me like I wanted him to.
It's been hell. He's not coming back and I know that now. My heart still believes that he loves me, but my head knows it's not true.
I came back to basically say thank you to Coach Lee. He kept me going through those months of belief. But now I don't believe anymore. Time for me to focus on me and move on with my life.
I hate to say that this same thing happened with me, including all the cruel remarks that felt like he took a knife to my heart. He isn't coming back either.
My exes usually miss me right away. Don't waste your time waiting for them. She's your ex for a reason. They will be no contact until they contact me.
Coach lee! A short back up story: Last sep 18 my boyfriend and I for only 3 months had an argument and suddenly he stopped messaging or returning my my calls which is very rude. He did this to me then and we made up but this time i want to be over so i applied the no contact rule immediately. After 4 days he messaged me saying that he got the job he was applying for speaking as if nothing happened. I just replied good job and that's it. Yesterday he texted me asking for his stuff back and before I know it i called him and asking if we were over. He said as a couple yes but we can remain as friends. I obliged. I know I made a wrong move and trust me I hate myself and I suck! Now most of my friends said he is a shitty person anyway so I need to forget about him but I think I really love him. Am I too late to do the no contact approach once again? I am dying and feel so miserable now. Thanks!
PS: will the break up kit help me through it? thanks
You should really consider if you truly want this person back or if it was just an ego blow that they left you. No matter what, no contact is the way to go. Even though you agreed to being “friends”, never reach out to them for any reason. If they ever reach out to you first for any reason, let them know you’re only willing to talk on a romantic basis and if they refuse, let them go forever
Probably about 4 years ago my ex and I broke up (total relationship time 7yrs), she had a rebound. I did the bad things most people do during a break up. I found coach lees video, listened to everything he said and we ended up back together. Im going somewhere with this, I promise. Back in February of this year we broke up again (mostly because of her family dynamic). Tbh i felt in my heart it was what i needed to do to move on in life because i didnt feel like we had grown out of the high school stage of our relationship (graduated 5yrs ago). The last time we spoke was her screaming at me over the phone and I just hung up on her. I thought to myself this is it and i haven't looked back since. Well recently I met up with her mom to give and get our personal belongings that we had at each other's houses. I took the opportunity to wright a letter apologizing for what happened to at least try an make sure our last contact was at least positive, but now I feel my self missing her kinda (yes she is with someone else, definitely a rebound) I'm uncertain why these feeling have come back after all this time (8 months) and im uncertain if i should do anything with them. Im going to keep trucking along in life and still do everything this wonderful man has taught me, but i just thought id share this with anyone willing to read it.
Any news lately?
@JackWoody88 Nothing at all, I've for at least the time being moved on and am now kinda looking back at everything as a learning experience. I dont follow her or her parents anymore, so I have no idea what is going on besides her engagement to the rebound.
@@xvimatthiasivx41 sorry to hear that mate
If she went to another guy that fast then she’s selfish & disrespectful. Don’t be someone’s plan B, move on from her and become the best you that you can be.
Coach i think this is your best video. For me it is in particular anyway. Its nearly been 5 months. I was hellishly depressed today but this has kinda turned things around. I need to stop thinking about her.
Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry you're going through this. Take it one day at a time. Try not to let your thoughts go further than that.
I do struggle with if my ex decided to go off with another person within 3 months of the breakup following a minor disagreement. To me I would find it difficult to accept them back. Maybe I’m just old fashioned. If they really love you they wouldn’t move on quickly. But I’m doing want you have suggested no contact. Let’s wait and see
We both are in same situations 😷😢
What if the relationship was mostly good but he's the egotistical, stubborn, prideful and immature kind?
Get back together and help him self-improve, or let him figure it out on his own, then try again. Sounds like it'll take a while either way.
It's been 9 months since we broke up. No contact the whole time. 2 weeks ago, her mother pulled up in her car while I was out jogging and asked me how I was, if I was hot, if I wanted some water and if I wanted to talk. My gut tells me she had her mother do that in order to test the water. What do you think?
Yes.
Thank you for this material, Coach Lee. Both yourself and Ken have become like real close friends to me of late. Still in no contact for almost a month.
Dominic, thank you for your kind words. Stay strong and take it one day at a time.
Same man, 3 months now…
@@muhamedadel2012 stay strong💪🏻
@@RealCoachLee Much appreciated
How’s it going
11 days NC now and it seems so much harder than last time. I miss him a lot. I have so much going on in my life rn that all I want to do is reach out and tell him everything. There have been a couple times where I have drove past his house wo him knowing just to see him.
What happened now?
Hello! Hello! Some like Coach Lee may have remembered me from my horrible breakup of my 12 year relationship 1 year 3 months ago. Update: No, we did not back together again. We are somewhat amicable towards each other, but dont hang out or chat by phone or text, only if it is an emergency. I DO drop by her house to hang with our dog for a while before I go to band practice, but that's it. I aint going to lie: I cried for up to 9 months. Always hoping to get back together. But now, after a year, I have no romantic feelings for her. Karma is weird. I got a better job, my health is good, my band is rocking. Yes, of course I want a mate, but not right now. She on the other hand is feeling the pinch of me not being around anymore. She gained a lot of weight, alienated most of our mutual friends, and all she does is work. Hardly a social life like it was when we were together. There is better for me out there, I know it. But right now, nah, not interested. Maybe in a couple of years or not. I dont know. The quality of good women are just not out there anymore.
My long distance boyfriend broke up with me after we made plans of buying a house and having kids together cause “I stressed him too much and gave him anxiety”(I used to call him a lot during the day)
I feel so lost, like he will never come back, I’m in pieces, I really though he was the one
I have the same situation! It hurts when you think he is the one and then he leaves you! U feel like you get stabbed in the heart!
@@imaneelabid1009 okay so thank you for responding, not contacting him at all ABSOLUTELY worked, he came back and said how sorry he was, hang in there honey, it’ll get better. Either you’ll completely heal or he will come back, it works tho
Watch out for there friends.. misery loves company
I am of retirement age. I dated my Ex for a year year before becoming exclusive (after phone dating for several months before that). We saw each other regularly and shared many things with each other that we had not shared with anyone else and had spoken of love and the future.
His attachment style was dismissive. Every time he opened up and it felt like we were getting closer, he pulled away or broke up. He also has been fighting cancer. The last time he broke up and moved to a town an hour away that his family all live in. I continued to attempt contact for several months- yes, months. I am deeply in love with him. He told me once that he wouldn’t want to put any one through his dealing with cancer, but I had said that if someone loved him they would want to support him through it.
I have been “silent” for months at a time, reaching out now and then without response, except for one emoji.
This time I acknowledged that he was not ready and that to respect him that I planned to not contact him again for a few months.
Do you have any advice?
He is honest to tell you about his cancer situation, he is in a space where he dont want to entertain relationships, respect that and afford him space, its the best and right thing to do,
3:07 my sister who's went through a breakup told me exactly that , it feels like a cage but later they realise that it was home .
No matter how my particular case turns out, I believe you to be right. It’s hard. Going on two weeks.
Update?
The part about "single girls make girls single" my god! I often thought the break up was forced! Family members a narc! 😭
Coach, record more videos about the period after no contact! I've seen a few of your videos talking about that, but the truth is that there are a lot of information about no contact already, but very few videos talking about the steps after! Actually I find it harder the "after" than the "during" NC! It's hard to get someone to initiate the talk, but it's much harder to get them to a point where they really wanna ask you to get back in a relationship!
My wife left me after 40 years no good by note. It's been 11 months since she left. I tried to do what I can to make her happy 😁
It's been 3 years she's been gone with my children and she tries to make me jealous I've been on my purpose since we split I can only imagine the blood on some of these women hands.
No contact worked for me it took two months but I made the mistake of giving her everything back straight away without having to earn it. We lasted 6 months and she dumped me again. Been in no contact over 6 months now she ain't coming back this time
She reached out this morning offering help.
My response "Good morning. I'm glad you're feeling better now. As much as I do appreciate you offering to help I have to manage life without your help. You didn't want to be part of mine. thank you but I'm good. Enjoy your day and drive safe.🤪"
Here's Her response "Correction... It is not that I did not want to be a part of your life, it is that you did not want to accept the position in your life that I have to offer. Either way I completely understand and I wish you well. Have a great day"
5 months since break up after 5 years together.. she's offered friendship a few times and is in a rebound/ monkey branch since week 2 after break up.
My best guess is it's a loss at this point.
If my ex would ever date during no contact ,I would never ever take him back . I would never be able to forgive him but mainly myself
You are a very good RUclipsr.❤
Thank you Tunde.
I know he misses and thinks about me.. he told me yesterday.. I stay in NC and he sent that yesterday.. However.. it doesn’t always means they want to get back.. he told me after the break up which was in February he no longer want to be in a relationship now
Indeed. I find this inspiring.
No Contact works!
I totally agree with single girls who make other girls single.
My gf has a single girl best friend and I know she is toxic and now we broke up and I think she's playing with her mind so that she doesn't come back to me.
What to do?
Same here... I guess all we can do is stay in NC. Did your situation change?
After 14 harmonious years, she decided she didn’t know who she was, and threw me away like a piece of garbage. Aside from a few legal things that needed to be signed, no contact for 18 months now, and she’s dating a guy from high school 25 years earlier. I still don’t know what happened. She bad mouths me all over town, because people want to know why she left. When they see me later, they all know she is lying to herself because she didn’t have any good reasons to leave us. I have followed Coach Lees’s advice from the first month, and it’s been really hard. But I gave her the breakup, and hope that she realizes what she walked away from, but now I question, would I ever be worth it to her to swallow pride and come back to? I love her unconditionally and have open arms for her. Go ahead and call me a chump.
My ex is never coming back. Just being real 4 jreas single 10 jears i have gave her more then she had before me. now no contact.seen her with a new guy
Girls Just want the new guy. Let them have them. Real love is fake in my eyes
3 mo. NC. He reached out last week but the text was centered around the reason we broke up. Haven't responded and won't respond unless the text is centered around something else.
If you want that person back ignoring them is the worst thing to do. You're an adult, change the subject.
You should respond if its important to you.
You should respond
Yeah I wouldn't just ignore.
Taking into consideration that he broke up with me over something I thought we could work out but he didnt think so, and before finding coach lee during the break up I accidentally mentioned him reaching back out after 3-6mo. Since he said he still wanted to be friends.
What he sent me was essentially a video backing his side of the disagreement and why he won't be changing his mind on the matter (the disagreement was the reason for the break up). And a small message along with it that sounded like another fairwell.
No "hello, how are you doing" But I should still reach out?
Also we were this 🤏 to getting engaged 💍. I told him to hold it off till I finished school. And now that I'm finished he gone 🤷♀️
Going on week 6 of no contact, still dont see an end in sight. 5yrs gone......
Just cut your losses, mate. Learn from the experience to get better.
Our relationship was positive at all times and great communication.. again he wanted to be with other women
This is a true story I had a friend with benefits we talk on the phone every single day we have a big falling out. She's with a new guy she's dating a guy that she moved from high school. I heard they're both drug addict but that's not why I want to be back with her. She ended our friendship because, I did something stupid by contacting her new boyfriend from high school. I wrote her accountability letter and she said she gave me she's not mad at me but she doesn't wanna be friends. I miss her dearly. She did tell her about the letter is there a chance I can steal her back because I miss her and I love her.
Was only seeing her for a few weeks but it felt longer as we spent quite a lot of time together. She broke up with me a month ago, I told her to reach to me if she ever wanted to connect and that was it, I immediately went no contact. I lost a parent a few months back and obviously I haven't been at my best mentally, she said she couldn't give me what I needed.
Obviously I'm still very hurt by the break up as I thought she was the one, we got on like a house of on fire and then all of a sudden, the end. Would love for her to come back so we can work at it again, but I very much doubt she will.
It's not easy, I really miss her and I have this constant pain in my stomach.
Thanks for the great video.
Cristiano907, if she told you she cannot give you what you wanted, why do you even want someone who doesn't want you? I know how you feel about her, for I've been there too. It's hard, but in time you will get over this. Go out with your friends, have fun. Also, pick up a hobby. It works. You'll meet someone who DOES want you. ❤
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you so much for your kind and considerate reply. I really appreciate it. 😊
You are totally right and I agree with everything you said, it's just that it's really difficult to think clearly and rationally when feeling like this. I do really miss her as we got on so well and she ticked all the boxes, but I guess I wasn't good enough for her.
Thanks again! ❤️
Im in the same position, just happened this week, how are you feeling now?
@@lottiebowdenbowden238
Sorry to hear about that.
Well it's been about 14 weeks now and as I expected, she never did reach out again. It's been hard to be honest. I have been dating again but I still think about her, which isn't good but it is what it is. The only advice I can give is you keep yourself busy and start dating again whenever you feel ready, but focus on healing first and getting back in that right mindset. It takes time. Make sure you stay in no contact, but I have to make one thing very clear to you which all these videos fail to mention: if you've only been dating someone for a very short period, they don't ever come back, and if they do it's extremely rare. The no contact rule and the intention of getting your ex to come back only applies to those who have been in very long and deep meaningful relationships - non of the advice that's given ever applies to people like us. Just wanted to give you the heads up before you get drawn in to all the false "how to get your ex back with the no contact rule" videos.
Stay strong and please put yourself first, not the person who didn't appreciate or value you. You deserve to be happy and you WILL meet someone better.
20 days in still suffering like crazy mental healths down the drain cant sleep eat absolutley deverstated. Lost everything
Ditto
Thnks mate kids involved and everything twist the knife yeah. People make mistakes
@AnthonyRegan-ui5pf 5 days in. Twice divorced. This is only a 2 year relationship not married but I've soooo been there for her. Just not had the same back. I've always grovelled back. She doesn't value me....nor do I really. Rebuild needed and me time. Small steps. Breathe. Talk. We will do this.
13.5 years down the drain. Never spoke for 22 days now. And only been able to see my 10 year old son for 1 hour in a contact centre in tht time lost 9kg weight. Trying to hold my job down is litterally killing me
Iv just had to break it off with a man that I love, iv given my heart and soul to the 4 yr relationship, iv only walked away because it hurts to mush to be with him, he takes me for granted I’m always 2nd place in his life and emotionally physically he isn’t there, so why is he wanting to carry on, just because of what I bring to the table, well I’m not afraid to eat alone so here I am
,
gemmaburns64,
It sounds to me like there is either someone else, or he is a narcissist. Just by the things you mentioned sound very uncaring. I have experienced this for 5 years, and I left him. Follow your heart and your instincts. I call it my "Gut feeling." If he is that uncaring, leave him. Hug for you 💕💕🌺
Thank you for reply, I wish I’d gone with my gut yrs ago! I was telling me something wasn’t right but probably like you I tried to forget about it, I wish you all the happiness in the world ❤️❤️
@@gemmaburns6407.Take care of yourself. You will be fine..💕
It's been six months since we last heard, i don't think she will ever come back to me
What if they changed.. from losing her mother. Made her think differently. And broke up with you? What if they broke up with u because off that.
She didn’t slowly lose feelings due to life circumstances she completely changed and became a new person.. a person who didn’t care anymore about the relationship?
She is now in rebound relationship she even told me that because of me she said yes to the guy who doesn't even know how to talk
My ex gf abruptly ended our relationship that was so beautiful. No cheating, fighting kr disrespect. She said i am not a life long oartner bc she feels i cannot be a parent to her 3 kids. That stings hard when you love those kids and did as much as you could for them. After 3 days, i made the mistake of showing up at her house. She was in deep depression. She tells me she loves me and i am her person, but ends the relationship. I have backed off and will give her the space. Personally, i think she is lost from my life. But i dont have the strength to wait for her to miss me.
Dave, if you don’t back off and completely give her the breakup, your odds will go to nearly zero. Don’t contact her or show up. Don’t watch her stories. Disappear.
Thank you coach! After that day, I have not reached out and will not as long as it takes. Thank you for the guidance
Thank u sooo much coach lee my ex returned & almost everything u said was correct about how they felt & what they were thinking. They expressed they broke up with me because they have abandonedment issues. They also said they loved me before being ready & wasn't prepared for the realistic work that comes with a relationship. The only thing I had to do different through no contact of 3 months is throw them a lil bone (our song from our past), then the communication just flooded in. There were a ton of misunderstandings.
How u guys doing now, you still together?
Thank u for asking & yes, we're still together. It hasn't been perfect, minor struggles with intrusive thoughts, here & there interfering, but for the most part, so far, he has been wonderful.
@@jkn5777 Hope u guys stay together n make it work.
N pray the same for me, my man dumped n blocked me from everywhere lol
Hurts, like today i was missing him so much was tempted to msg him at snapchat cuz he has not blocked me from there but i controlled
@@diaryofsereshayour in the same situation as me...literally. But it's my ex-gf who did it to me, happened on the 18th it's fresh but I still miss her soo much I want her to come back...I'm tempted to contact 'her' too.
@@aurorayt3719 You're lucky least she has not blocked u, mine blocked me from everywhere apart from sc, i can still reply back his stories he only unfriended ms there
My suggestion do not contact her at all
Even i miss my ex so much i reached out so many times but now i wont its on him
I broke up with my ex and I still miss him and think about him but it’s for the best..
Indeed. I find this inspiring.
Fiancé broke us up after 8 years cause i was struggling the past year yet inwas there for her and helped her like nobody did. Im still shocked it’s been a month almost and she called me last week cause she was curious about my health cause I actually ended up in the hospital after she left me cause of an accident. But that’s about it. She told me she fell out of love idk what to do honestly. We were reaching for the same thing and thing just like that she left me .
If you follow the coach advise you will be good, trust his process!
its good also to entertain the idea of starting a new relationship...its more PEACEFULL and refreshing ,
Funny when they come back the desire for them might be gone...so I am just saying just entertain the thought and put focus on building your areas of growth,
Emotional,Spiritual, Physical and Intellectual intelligence , there more this components grow there more you realize you dont need that person , I just saying as an option!
Good Luck...you will be fine with time!
Been in NC for awhile now. She was liking my pics and posts now she removed me from snap and instagram still holding me on facebook but sure I’m restricted I’m going to keep hanging on. This was a long distance relationship. Was overall a good relationship I was just to available etc
My partner of 4 years left me cause her family forced her to. She got forced to block me too and since then I haven't contacted her, I'm doing no contact rule even if don't work it's working cause shows what she wants. People have choice it's 2 way relationship but yeah I got verbal abuse on social media by her uncle her family always hated me even tho been 4 year's..
Two sides to every story here, but seems leaving them alone altogether is the best course of action. Don't make her pick between her family and you, that's just going to hurt everyone involved.
Her losing you is her loss. The Hell with her and my ex, they are the losers not us!!!
Guys never take back who dumped you. You underestimate youself. My wife dumped me after I lost Job. I told only once her if she come until 1 months and apologize to me we can fix relationship. After she ldidnt make it due to her mother. I told her forget on me. Already dating 10time nicer lady and she is even much younger than my wife. Now my wife is crying that she lost me. It was my lesson to her. I know she will come crawl and beg minto take her back. I will be polite and tell her that she enjoy her life but without me😊
@@danijelkruselj1855That’s the way, date much younger. It’s the kryptonite to older women who dumped. Not surprised she’s crying she lost…er…threw you away.
I have the ultimate female breadcrumber. She's seeing another guy. I walked away and went into no contact. She blocked me. Unblocked me, blocked me, unblocked me, and then called me several times. I called her back and she asked me about my girl contacts on tiktok, if I was seeing them. And then asked if I had a washer and dryer that she could come use. Then she said she misses me sometimes. I said ok lets meet up sometime, she said "I'll think about it", then blocked me. I know It's all bullshit.
It's not green on the other side, but dont be backup, stay NC and entertain the thought of a (you time) and a new relationship ,
@@thabisomaifadi5575 yeah. You're right. I'm actually trying to forget her and get over her. But still I can't help the thoughts of her together with that guy in my head. It's always there. I wish it all to go away. Thanks for the encouragement bro
It's be six months and I don't know she ever come back well I see her with some guy 😢
If she's with another guy, move on, and let her go. I'm sorry!
@@jannlewandowski5540 easy to say then but thanks dude maybe someday she change her mind till that time I wait or May be more on but I love her every way possible I do well in God may be he is look and he might do something but still thanks dude I need it. Bro-code I hope y stay happy
What you were talking about with friends influencing, that is the situation I'm in. In this case it was an ex boyfriend who wanted her back for his own selfish reasons, but basically sabotaged her image of me, and corrupted her thinking so she would look at me differently. It was really quite amazing......one day she loved me and wanted to marry me, then the next day after talking to this guy, she acted like I didn't exist. Very hurtful. She started making excuses like I wasn't good enough for her, but it was all a ploy to end the relationship so it wouldn't look unfaithful.
Sounds horrendous. Would you really want to be with someone who cannot have their own thoughts or make their own decisions? It also sounds like she wasn’t over her ex. Like he could snap his fingers and she’d be back.
@@camellia8625 I'm starting to believe it now that I deserve better, and I don't wanna be with someone who would treat me that way. I've also discovered far to late that she's an extreme narcissist and does not have the character to be in a healthy relationship. She's never been loyal to anyone.
im at day 36 of no contact and it rather feels like we are slowly fading away..