I will find a way to use “butt of Babaganoush” in my daily language somehow because that is GOLDEN 🤣 And yeah, definitely YTA for OP. What were they thinking?
Emotional manipulation from dad... and an emotional need to have the family be together again. In some ways, OP reminds me of my late, and not really lamented grandmother. That grandmother played favourites to the point it ruined the family dynamics _and_ taught her kids the wrong messages, and they became criminals. Many years later, she's retired and... her favourite son, and two other sons, did the elder abuse thing... forced her to pay for everything... while also taking credit cards out in her name then maxing them out. Yet... there she was, at the end of her life, trying to put the family back together. She wanted me to talk to my cousin and convince her to see her. That cousin has no contact with her, her father (grandmother's favourite son) lost custody and visitation rights due to physical abuse... yet, here is grandmother telling me how wonderful her son is, and how horrible of a gold digger my cousin's mother was. It was all _her_ fault for ruining the marriage, etc. Yeah... that's how to convince my cousin to see you, to _lie_ about the abuse she suffered... but, that's how she was at the end of her life. Delusional with the emotional need to be part of a large happy family. As soon as she died, her daughter, my father, and her eldest son took the other brothers to court for elder abuse. *Shrugs* OP, just gives me the vibes... the same delusional expectations of the victims... while swapping the role of victims and abusers. *Shakes Head*
"She made me and dad look like fools" No no op. You and your father made yourselves look like fools. I hope Mom takes the otherwise wasted day that would have been spent on the wedding and goes to the spa.
It's not delusion. Op just wants to blame her mom for everything. The biggest red. Op acting like a victim because she couldn't make her mom gravel to be re-invited to the wedding and get back with a person that cheated on her. After Op blamed her for getting cheated on. I disagree, #1 cheating has nothing to do with the child. No matter what, kids(no matter what age) shouldn't have to pick a side. The mom did what people should do. Don't make drama, just ignore when in the same room. No pick me or him games . #2 Op has every right to forgive him. FOR HERSELF. This "you must be okay with X because you got over it" needs to stop.
How do people write these posts, with the full delusion that they think they're in the right? Like, how do you write these words and not see the utter arseholary?
Account is banned by reddit, so it was caught in the spam filter most likely. That usually means that the poster's IP address frequently posts content like this to the advice, asshole subreddits that goes viral. On the positive, it's probably fake.
1:54 and that there ladies and gentlemen is when their family relationship died. YTA OP no doubt about it. The gall of her to expect her own mother to forgive that shitty excuse of a father and aunt. She is 100% a daddy's girl for sure, and I wouldn't be surprised that she wants her mom to forgive in order to have a perfect picture wedding. The proof is in how she acted like nothing happened, and it's expecting us to feel sympathy for her. I wouldn't be shocked at all if she acted just her dad in her new marriage, but hopefully this time OP will end up alone with no family.
YTA! You don't deserve your mom. She won't be coming back. Enjoy the time with your dad and the family that betrayed your mom as you are now one of them.
OP, your mother is treating you exactly, as she treated all the other people who supported the cheaters over her. She's doing that for the exact same reason... you _can't_ tell people who to do, what to think, what to _feel._ Yet, here you are doing exactly that to your own mother. I agree with your brothers, you're just as selfish as your father. "Forgive, and forget"... only opens you up to manipulation. At least your _mother_ has the self-respect to never put up with that behaviour.
How is OP so effing delulu that she can't see that her DAD is the one who broke up the family, NOT just when he cheated, but when he DIVORCED HER MOM and married her aunt?? I hope she finds out at her wedding that her fiancé has been sleeping with her cousin this entire time and everyone blames HER for the breakup. "As you sow," and what have you.
She'll definitely find out the hard way, because I don't think losing her mother will be the pain that creates change. Opie might be a daddy's girl, but somewhere down the line, she has to recognize that the POS that she idolizes is the reason that her family fell apart!
OP's mother didn't break the family unit, her father did that. If Mom didn't break it, Mom can't fix it (nor should she shoulder that responsibility because someone is telling her she should, esp. someone who was a child when it all went down). She wasn't just betrayed by OP's father, she was betrayed by everyone she loved and trusted, including her own biological sister for goodness sake! Her SISTER! For OP to put the responsibility (and blame) on her mother to justify herself not feeling guilty for her atrocious demands and her own cruel words and behavior is ludicrous. When Dad bailed on his initial family, Mom held it together and raised that child without him, while he was out feeling bachelor free and living the life of a college boy. OP should hang her head in shame, dig really dig and find some true humility, apologize to her mother for putting her in such an awkward, painful position and then making her the ringleader for such an embarrassing spectable - she deserved none of that at all. Mom raised her and got her this far - to wedding planning - and probably hoped all these years to have a special place in her daughter's life planning said wedding, but instead, she's once again treated like the villain because she reacted to a situation thrust upon her that blindsided her and shattered her heart years ago by not reacting at all. OP is bat sh*t crazy for thinking her mother is at fault for any of this. At least Mom acted reasonably and responsibly with the guests who didn't betray her, lie to her (even through omission), talk behind her back (we all know they did), gossip among themselves and were 2-faced to her. It isn't OP's place to insist Mom forgive and forget; that's Mom's prerogative and her decision alone: OP has zero say in this matter no matter how strongly she feels otherwise. She was a child when it happened, she wasn't mature enough to comprehend much of it, it is likely Mom and Dad hid a lot from her so as not to make her a pawn in that chaos, but she thinks she's got it all figure out and that she is the judge and jury as to whom should carry the blame. OP is immature, insensitive, and selfish; she just wants her wedding to be smooth sailing as if nothing was deliberately done years ago to hurt and shame her Mom by people she most likely would have gladly given a kidney to if it was necessary. The family members who got the cold shoulder from Mom deserved the cold shoulder and more. My question is this: has OP insisted that everyone who 'knew' that Dad not only had a side chick but said side chick was her own sister apologize to her Mom?!!! Maybe OP should start there, and OP should also be first in that line. She owes her mother a huge, sincere apology for her ridiculous assumptions, demands, criticism, harsh words and accusations and putting the responsibility for HIS cheating, and her sister's ultimate betrayal on her Mom in the way of telling HER to play nice. OP's audacity is out of control. I hope her fiancé is observing this circus and really considers if this is what he wants in a wife, in his future, and setting the example for his future children.
I think what does me in is that OP said all this awful stuff, then tried to continue like nothing happened. No where does it say she apologized sincerely for what she said. Classic self-absorbed family move. Her mom should just know she didn't mean it & forgive her & move on.
"Forgive her and move on"... exactly how OP wanted her to be with all the other people who hurt her? All the other people who supported the self-absorbed AH's who ruined her life, ruined her family?
@@aralornwolf3140 yep. People like that think they're entitled to forgiveness even though they do nothing to earn it because they share DNA. That's not how it works. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. No one owes it to you, nor do they owe you their presence in your life when you've mistreated them.
So, lemme see if I have this right: OP poured lighter fluid on the bridge, dropped a match, and is now surprised that the bridge is burnt. If OP's fiance cheats on her, I don't want to hear sh**. She can cry into the void. That said, I don't think her fiance should cheat, I think he should LEAVE. She's pretty clearly demonstrated that she doesn't care about fidelity. Or her mother. We all remember the "AITA for telling my daughter to get over the past?" with Bella and Ella, right? She's going to be that mom.
YTA op. It’s not her job to repair anything. She didn’t break anything your dad did. Not talking to them WAS her being civil because if she spoke to them she would have gone off. If OP thinks she would be all happy and talkative with the people who stabbed her in the back she’s delusional.
Woooooow! It's been awhile since I've heard one that was this much of an AH! Good for Mom for sticking to her boundaries and all while being respectful too. Daughter definitely takes after dear ole dad.
What's really sad is OP not commending mom on being okay with the wedding list. She accepted it and was going to find a way to work with it. OP didn't even see that... 🤕
YTA! Your mother never promised to interact with, let alone forgive any of those present at your party for what they did/hid from her. She didn't cause a scene by yelling or screaming at anyone, she merely refused to talk to them. She was also under no obligation to do so. Merely consenting to be in their presence was a huge gesture on her part. YOU, OP, blew that by berating her. Hopefully a bit of crawling on your knees and begging can fix your relationship with her, but she does not need to come to you. Some betrayals cannot be forgiven. You've yet to learn that lesson and may have committed one yourself. Hopefully you can reverse that.
O p is very self centered As a child, I believe that she was manipulated by her father and the picking sides. She definitely chose her father's side and caters to his emotions far more than her own mother. For that I sort of felt bad for her But just because she is the age of an adult does not mean she is acting as an adult Her childhood situation could have likely caused her CP.T.S.D. OP needs therapy and to take accountability for her own behavior towards her mother. As of right now, my verdict is she is ta.
I'm not usually the type to wish ill on others, but in this case it would be so karmic if OP's husband to be ends up cheating on her the way her dad cheated on mom. She clearly doesn't understand what it's like to be in that position, so maybe she should have no choice in the matter and feel the kind of pain her mother experienced. THEN try telling mom what she should do.
1. Don't ever use your special event as a bargaining chip to manipulate people that love you. 2. She owes her mom a formal apology. That's the bare minimum. Poor mom 😢
Entitlement combine with Bridezilla wanting the picture perfect aesthetic for the wedding equals a completely delusional little girl who will never grow up and will be posting in a few years that her mom doesn't even want to babysit her grandchild(ren) at all to help OP out. I hope OP's fiance hears about this crap before saying 'I do'.
Mom doesn't have to repair anything. Dad, family and friends who knew about the affair with OP's aunt are the ones who need to repair the relationship. OP is selfish and can't understand how her Dad wrecked the marriage. OP is lying she would have definitely would have been pissed about her husband cheating on her. She wants her mom to save face for her own selfish reasons not like she really cares. So sad.
Is it wierd that I'm waiting for op to come back and say she feels awful for ruining her relationship with her mom, when her own marriage falls apart because of cheating?
Funny how she could forgive if the same occurred to her, but she has no sisters just brothers. Extremely delusional and she lost an exceptional role model in her life. Great job OP.
Betrayal trauma is not a small thing to take lightly. It is still trauma. Especially when its close friends or family. Also i bet my entire years salary op wouldnt be so forgiving or nonchalant about cheating of they were the ones being cheated on and lied to by everyone they love about it. I hope op gets the life they deserve.
This is why we need clear communication. Just because she’s “fine” with the guest list doesn’t mean she wants to talk to them. If that’s what you wanted you should have discussed it in depth and tried to be mature about the outcome.
OP, YTA! It is up to your mother to forgive and forget. But it is kinda hard to do that when the only people who haven't betrayed her are her own sons. I pray that you experience what your mom went through in the exact same way. Maybe then you will see how stupid you are for siding with your dad.
Your mom literally didn't start a fight and just avoided those people which is a totally understandable response. Major ascon1 and your mother deserves better.
The truest thing that OP said in here was "I'm her child!" Yes, OP, you are a child; your behaviour and attitude makes that very clear here. Mom didn't promise to play happy families, Mom agreed to keep the peace and she did. It's lovely that Mother Teresa here thinks she would forgive her husband for cheating on her - the fact that she uninvited her MOTHER from the WEDDING because Mom avoided some guests at a party who were complicit in the worst kind of betrayal and OP didn't like that says that she would go scorched earth. Toxic Daddy's Girl much?
YTA. First and foremost, your mother reserves the right to be mad at everybody for covering for your dad's cheating ass. I'm all for forgiveness, but that doesn't mean she has to forget what happened. You should have known from the jump that your mother wouldn't be cool with them majority of the guests. After everything that's happened, that right there is common sense! And your damn sure messed up when you said to your mother that her personality traits are what drove your dad into your aunt's bed! That was four different kinds of foul, and you know it! Opie, your brothers are right, you *are* self-centered! If anybody owes anybody an apology, it's you to your mother. That was fxxxed up.
Mom is nta and had the courage and self respect to cut out a lot of shit people from her life despite them being family, why would she have any trouble cutting out OP as well?
OP is a TOTAL AH here. Mom never said she'd talk to those people. She created boundaries for herself years ago and I applaud that. When my ex husband cheated I also cut out anyone who knew. Mom didn't create a scene. Mom doesn't need to talk to those people. OP was a total jerk to her mother. Mom has nothing to fix here. Mom HAS moved on. She cut the toxic people from her life, now it looks like she's going to cut her POS daughter.
Simpler what he did here to his mother is what he will do to his wife when she's no longer the young pretty thing he wants. Yes literally said the way dad handled this was okay it was and is forgivable. But holding on to the memory of the abuse.And the broken promise.Will that make you a piece of shit aka mom's current situation. If I were your fiancé, I would say hold on a minute.You're saying it's ok to cheat as long as you come back point one. It's even more okay if you guile and obvious gates.So that everyone loves you accept the victim making the victim the perpetrator in the eyes of those you've conned. Fiance I suggest a printer and I suggest a hard look as to what he deems acceptable to be done to you.
Wow. Ignoring people is a bit rude and I can understand her being a little upset about that, but mom is not required to forgive the people who cheated and hid the betrayal. Being civil and "repairing rhe family" are 2 different things. ESH but mom is definitely lowest on the scale, mom is like a 4 where everyone else is at least a 2. OP is a 1 and needs therapy, she clearly never fot over the fact that her parents divorced and is not holding her dad accountable for what he did
What the mother couldn't be respectful and just do small talk? When op asked if she was fine with the guest list she knew what that meant and embarrassed her child anyway.
Here’s the problem: at the party, she refused to even acknowledge that others exist, when they tried to be polite AT SOMEONE ELSE’S party. That made the party about her and the exes, and took the attention away from the bride and groom. The same thing will happen at the wedding, and the attention will not be where it should be. Mom should be able to say hello and be polite, or shouldn’t go. The wedding isn’t about her, but she’s making it about her.
How is not talking to the people who hurt her "taking the spot light away from the bride and groom"? She doesn't need to interact with _those_ people who are on her No Contact List. She interacted just fine with her daughter's fiance and his family. Which is what is required. Most people understand why mother refuses to associate with those who betrayed her by covering for those AH's. She's under no obligation to interact with them. It's on _them_ to accept she wants nothing to do with them and to leave _her_ alone.
OP is delusional. How in the butt of Babaganoush is the mom at fault?! 😂 YTA Go away.
I will find a way to use “butt of Babaganoush” in my daily language somehow because that is GOLDEN 🤣
And yeah, definitely YTA for OP. What were they thinking?
@@SLX__13 Feel free! I have no idea what it means nor how I came by it, but it seemed appropriately obscene.
I don't get how OP doesn't see the problem...
Emotional manipulation from dad... and an emotional need to have the family be together again. In some ways, OP reminds me of my late, and not really lamented grandmother. That grandmother played favourites to the point it ruined the family dynamics _and_ taught her kids the wrong messages, and they became criminals. Many years later, she's retired and... her favourite son, and two other sons, did the elder abuse thing... forced her to pay for everything... while also taking credit cards out in her name then maxing them out.
Yet... there she was, at the end of her life, trying to put the family back together. She wanted me to talk to my cousin and convince her to see her. That cousin has no contact with her, her father (grandmother's favourite son) lost custody and visitation rights due to physical abuse... yet, here is grandmother telling me how wonderful her son is, and how horrible of a gold digger my cousin's mother was. It was all _her_ fault for ruining the marriage, etc.
Yeah... that's how to convince my cousin to see you, to _lie_ about the abuse she suffered... but, that's how she was at the end of her life. Delusional with the emotional need to be part of a large happy family. As soon as she died, her daughter, my father, and her eldest son took the other brothers to court for elder abuse. *Shrugs*
OP, just gives me the vibes... the same delusional expectations of the victims... while swapping the role of victims and abusers. *Shakes Head*
"She made me and dad look like fools" No no op. You and your father made yourselves look like fools. I hope Mom takes the otherwise wasted day that would have been spent on the wedding and goes to the spa.
She never said she would forgive the people haha this OP is delusional as heck 😂
It's not delusion. Op just wants to blame her mom for everything. The biggest red. Op acting like a victim because she couldn't make her mom gravel to be re-invited to the wedding and get back with a person that cheated on her. After Op blamed her for getting cheated on. I disagree, #1 cheating has nothing to do with the child. No matter what, kids(no matter what age) shouldn't have to pick a side. The mom did what people should do. Don't make drama, just ignore when in the same room. No pick me or him games . #2 Op has every right to forgive him. FOR HERSELF. This "you must be okay with X because you got over it" needs to stop.
Cheating is painful on the cheated on partner. I don’t blame mom for acting like everyone who knew it or cheated ceases to exist.
@@susansmart6998 I said she was great for being civil.
How do people write these posts, with the full delusion that they think they're in the right? Like, how do you write these words and not see the utter arseholary?
Account is banned by reddit, so it was caught in the spam filter most likely. That usually means that the poster's IP address frequently posts content like this to the advice, asshole subreddits that goes viral. On the positive, it's probably fake.
This OP needs to go straight to the Bin!!😱😱
1:54 and that there ladies and gentlemen is when their family relationship died. YTA OP no doubt about it. The gall of her to expect her own mother to forgive that shitty excuse of a father and aunt. She is 100% a daddy's girl for sure, and I wouldn't be surprised that she wants her mom to forgive in order to have a perfect picture wedding. The proof is in how she acted like nothing happened, and it's expecting us to feel sympathy for her. I wouldn't be shocked at all if she acted just her dad in her new marriage, but hopefully this time OP will end up alone with no family.
YTA!
You don't deserve your mom. She won't be coming back. Enjoy the time with your dad and the family that betrayed your mom as you are now one of them.
This. Have fun with the backstabbing members of your family OP
So OP uninvites her mom to the wedding then invites her to find a mother of the bride dress? I back mom all the way!!
OP, your mother is treating you exactly, as she treated all the other people who supported the cheaters over her. She's doing that for the exact same reason... you _can't_ tell people who to do, what to think, what to _feel._ Yet, here you are doing exactly that to your own mother. I agree with your brothers, you're just as selfish as your father.
"Forgive, and forget"... only opens you up to manipulation. At least your _mother_ has the self-respect to never put up with that behaviour.
Op you were her child. Not anymore.
❤
How is OP so effing delulu that she can't see that her DAD is the one who broke up the family, NOT just when he cheated, but when he DIVORCED HER MOM and married her aunt?? I hope she finds out at her wedding that her fiancé has been sleeping with her cousin this entire time and everyone blames HER for the breakup. "As you sow," and what have you.
She'll definitely find out the hard way, because I don't think losing her mother will be the pain that creates change.
Opie might be a daddy's girl, but somewhere down the line, she has to recognize that the POS that she idolizes is the reason that her family fell apart!
I am speechless and that is very rare.
OP's mother didn't break the family unit, her father did that. If Mom didn't break it, Mom can't fix it (nor should she shoulder that responsibility because someone is telling her she should, esp. someone who was a child when it all went down). She wasn't just betrayed by OP's father, she was betrayed by everyone she loved and trusted, including her own biological sister for goodness sake! Her SISTER! For OP to put the responsibility (and blame) on her mother to justify herself not feeling guilty for her atrocious demands and her own cruel words and behavior is ludicrous. When Dad bailed on his initial family, Mom held it together and raised that child without him, while he was out feeling bachelor free and living the life of a college boy. OP should hang her head in shame, dig really dig and find some true humility, apologize to her mother for putting her in such an awkward, painful position and then making her the ringleader for such an embarrassing spectable - she deserved none of that at all. Mom raised her and got her this far - to wedding planning - and probably hoped all these years to have a special place in her daughter's life planning said wedding, but instead, she's once again treated like the villain because she reacted to a situation thrust upon her that blindsided her and shattered her heart years ago by not reacting at all. OP is bat sh*t crazy for thinking her mother is at fault for any of this. At least Mom acted reasonably and responsibly with the guests who didn't betray her, lie to her (even through omission), talk behind her back (we all know they did), gossip among themselves and were 2-faced to her. It isn't OP's place to insist Mom forgive and forget; that's Mom's prerogative and her decision alone: OP has zero say in this matter no matter how strongly she feels otherwise. She was a child when it happened, she wasn't mature enough to comprehend much of it, it is likely Mom and Dad hid a lot from her so as not to make her a pawn in that chaos, but she thinks she's got it all figure out and that she is the judge and jury as to whom should carry the blame. OP is immature, insensitive, and selfish; she just wants her wedding to be smooth sailing as if nothing was deliberately done years ago to hurt and shame her Mom by people she most likely would have gladly given a kidney to if it was necessary. The family members who got the cold shoulder from Mom deserved the cold shoulder and more. My question is this: has OP insisted that everyone who 'knew' that Dad not only had a side chick but said side chick was her own sister apologize to her Mom?!!! Maybe OP should start there, and OP should also be first in that line. She owes her mother a huge, sincere apology for her ridiculous assumptions, demands, criticism, harsh words and accusations and putting the responsibility for HIS cheating, and her sister's ultimate betrayal on her Mom in the way of telling HER to play nice. OP's audacity is out of control. I hope her fiancé is observing this circus and really considers if this is what he wants in a wife, in his future, and setting the example for his future children.
Wow Dusty.
You were really insightful on this one!
You were bang on when you say she’s become really adept at going no contact.
I think what does me in is that OP said all this awful stuff, then tried to continue like nothing happened. No where does it say she apologized sincerely for what she said. Classic self-absorbed family move. Her mom should just know she didn't mean it & forgive her & move on.
"Forgive her and move on"... exactly how OP wanted her to be with all the other people who hurt her? All the other people who supported the self-absorbed AH's who ruined her life, ruined her family?
@@aralornwolf3140 yep. People like that think they're entitled to forgiveness even though they do nothing to earn it because they share DNA. That's not how it works. Forgiveness is a privilege, not a right. No one owes it to you, nor do they owe you their presence in your life when you've mistreated them.
She is like her father. He cheated on mon with sister then tried coming back
So, lemme see if I have this right: OP poured lighter fluid on the bridge, dropped a match, and is now surprised that the bridge is burnt.
If OP's fiance cheats on her, I don't want to hear sh**. She can cry into the void. That said, I don't think her fiance should cheat, I think he should LEAVE. She's pretty clearly demonstrated that she doesn't care about fidelity. Or her mother.
We all remember the "AITA for telling my daughter to get over the past?" with Bella and Ella, right? She's going to be that mom.
YTA op. It’s not her job to repair anything. She didn’t break anything your dad did. Not talking to them WAS her being civil because if she spoke to them she would have gone off. If OP thinks she would be all happy and talkative with the people who stabbed her in the back she’s delusional.
Woooooow! It's been awhile since I've heard one that was this much of an AH! Good for Mom for sticking to her boundaries and all while being respectful too. Daughter definitely takes after dear ole dad.
I hope the food is good in Delulu Land.
What's really sad is OP not commending mom on being okay with the wedding list. She accepted it and was going to find a way to work with it. OP didn't even see that... 🤕
YTA! Your mother never promised to interact with, let alone forgive any of those present at your party for what they did/hid from her. She didn't cause a scene by yelling or screaming at anyone, she merely refused to talk to them. She was also under no obligation to do so. Merely consenting to be in their presence was a huge gesture on her part. YOU, OP, blew that by berating her. Hopefully a bit of crawling on your knees and begging can fix your relationship with her, but she does not need to come to you. Some betrayals cannot be forgiven. You've yet to learn that lesson and may have committed one yourself. Hopefully you can reverse that.
"I'm going to make mistakes, so am I TA?"... Yes? Just because you acknowledge you made a mistake doesn't mean that mistake no longer happened
Love it when Dusty says what I'm about to type 😂
O p is very self centered
As a child, I believe that she was manipulated by her father and the picking sides.
She definitely chose her father's side and caters to his emotions far more than her own mother.
For that I sort of felt bad for her
But just because she is the age of an adult does not mean she is acting as an adult
Her childhood situation could have likely caused her CP.T.S.D.
OP needs therapy and to take accountability for her own behavior towards her mother.
As of right now, my verdict is she is ta.
“If I was cheated on I would forgive and forget.”
🎵Why dafuq you lying? Why you always lying? MMMMMM omg, STOP F###ING LYING🎵
OP is trash. Dusty is right about mom being used to protecting herself from Family and loved ones
Op is completely delulu. I hope the mom takes some time for herself and focuses on her own needs.
Wow. Just wow.
I'm not usually the type to wish ill on others, but in this case it would be so karmic if OP's husband to be ends up cheating on her the way her dad cheated on mom. She clearly doesn't understand what it's like to be in that position, so maybe she should have no choice in the matter and feel the kind of pain her mother experienced. THEN try telling mom what she should do.
1. Don't ever use your special event as a bargaining chip to manipulate people that love you.
2. She owes her mom a formal apology. That's the bare minimum. Poor mom 😢
Entitlement combine with Bridezilla wanting the picture perfect aesthetic for the wedding equals a completely delusional little girl who will never grow up and will be posting in a few years that her mom doesn't even want to babysit her grandchild(ren) at all to help OP out. I hope OP's fiance hears about this crap before saying 'I do'.
Mom doesn't have to repair anything. Dad, family and friends who knew about the affair with OP's aunt are the ones who need to repair the relationship. OP is selfish and can't understand how her Dad wrecked the marriage. OP is lying she would have definitely would have been pissed about her husband cheating on her. She wants her mom to save face for her own selfish reasons not like she really cares. So sad.
Is it wierd that I'm waiting for op to come back and say she feels awful for ruining her relationship with her mom, when her own marriage falls apart because of cheating?
OP crossed the line so far that it’s a dot to her.
Funny how she could forgive if the same occurred to her, but she has no sisters just brothers. Extremely delusional and she lost an exceptional role model in her life. Great job OP.
Where are your siblings? No where nere you.
1 is too good for her. Up it to 0
Betrayal trauma is not a small thing to take lightly. It is still trauma. Especially when its close friends or family. Also i bet my entire years salary op wouldnt be so forgiving or nonchalant about cheating of they were the ones being cheated on and lied to by everyone they love about it. I hope op gets the life they deserve.
Can we give OP an Ascon 0? WTF is wrong with her?
Make it a negative ten
This is why we need clear communication. Just because she’s “fine” with the guest list doesn’t mean she wants to talk to them. If that’s what you wanted you should have discussed it in depth and tried to be mature about the outcome.
OP, YTA! It is up to your mother to forgive and forget. But it is kinda hard to do that when the only people who haven't betrayed her are her own sons. I pray that you experience what your mom went through in the exact same way. Maybe then you will see how stupid you are for siding with your dad.
Your mom literally didn't start a fight and just avoided those people which is a totally understandable response. Major ascon1 and your mother deserves better.
The truest thing that OP said in here was "I'm her child!" Yes, OP, you are a child; your behaviour and attitude makes that very clear here. Mom didn't promise to play happy families, Mom agreed to keep the peace and she did. It's lovely that Mother Teresa here thinks she would forgive her husband for cheating on her - the fact that she uninvited her MOTHER from the WEDDING because Mom avoided some guests at a party who were complicit in the worst kind of betrayal and OP didn't like that says that she would go scorched earth. Toxic Daddy's Girl much?
YTA. First and foremost, your mother reserves the right to be mad at everybody for covering for your dad's cheating ass. I'm all for forgiveness, but that doesn't mean she has to forget what happened. You should have known from the jump that your mother wouldn't be cool with them majority of the guests. After everything that's happened, that right there is common sense! And your damn sure messed up when you said to your mother that her personality traits are what drove your dad into your aunt's bed! That was four different kinds of foul, and you know it!
Opie, your brothers are right, you *are* self-centered! If anybody owes anybody an apology, it's you to your mother. That was fxxxed up.
Mom is nta and had the courage and self respect to cut out a lot of shit people from her life despite them being family, why would she have any trouble cutting out OP as well?
OP is a TOTAL AH here. Mom never said she'd talk to those people. She created boundaries for herself years ago and I applaud that. When my ex husband cheated I also cut out anyone who knew. Mom didn't create a scene. Mom doesn't need to talk to those people. OP was a total jerk to her mother. Mom has nothing to fix here. Mom HAS moved on. She cut the toxic people from her life, now it looks like she's going to cut her POS daughter.
YTA and you sound crazy.
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Wooooooooooooow
Simpler what he did here to his mother is what he will do to his wife when she's no longer the young pretty thing he wants. Yes literally said the way dad handled this was okay it was and is forgivable. But holding on to the memory of the abuse.And the broken promise.Will that make you a piece of shit aka mom's current situation.
If I were your fiancé, I would say hold on a minute.You're saying it's ok to cheat as long as you come back point one. It's even more okay if you guile and obvious gates.So that everyone loves you accept the victim making the victim the perpetrator in the eyes of those you've conned.
Fiance I suggest a printer and I suggest a hard look as to what he deems acceptable to be done to you.
Mom replaced you, move on
Wow. Ignoring people is a bit rude and I can understand her being a little upset about that, but mom is not required to forgive the people who cheated and hid the betrayal. Being civil and "repairing rhe family" are 2 different things. ESH but mom is definitely lowest on the scale, mom is like a 4 where everyone else is at least a 2. OP is a 1 and needs therapy, she clearly never fot over the fact that her parents divorced and is not holding her dad accountable for what he did
What the mother couldn't be respectful and just do small talk? When op asked if she was fine with the guest list she knew what that meant and embarrassed her child anyway.
She was respectful. She didn't cause a scene, as she was there for her little girl. That's all that was required of her.
Why should she have to talk to lying betraying pieces of ish. Be glad that I said hello and goodbye.
Here’s the problem: at the party, she refused to even acknowledge that others exist, when they tried to be polite AT SOMEONE ELSE’S party. That made the party about her and the exes, and took the attention away from the bride and groom. The same thing will happen at the wedding, and the attention will not be where it should be. Mom should be able to say hello and be polite, or shouldn’t go. The wedding isn’t about her, but she’s making it about her.
How is not talking to the people who hurt her "taking the spot light away from the bride and groom"? She doesn't need to interact with _those_ people who are on her No Contact List. She interacted just fine with her daughter's fiance and his family. Which is what is required.
Most people understand why mother refuses to associate with those who betrayed her by covering for those AH's. She's under no obligation to interact with them. It's on _them_ to accept she wants nothing to do with them and to leave _her_ alone.
Why does she need to acknowledge them. A hi and bye is all that they get, and they barely deserve that.