To learn more than ever from important non-fiction books, join me on Shortform: shortform.com/samlui. You’ll get a 5-day free trial and a discounted annual subscription. One of my favorite books on Shortform is The Defining Decade.
Being 26 now I realized I lost a lot of my early 20s to depression, addiction, and bad relationships. I didn’t higher my education and feel stuck in a dead end job but I’m starting the progress to change that, thanks for the video, I enjoy it and it gave me a little more motivation to do better and move towards the man I want to be when I hit 30
@Denver I think it can give a path in the right direction, it’s also a place where you get a chance to learn a lot more no matter what you’re taking, from the people you meet and the experience you get. Imo I’d suggest trying it out and seeing if it’s right for you. I personally regret not going but I also didn’t do much with the time that I had. I’d say if you know what you want to study then at least try, if not, look into some good trades and get a co-op or an apprenticeship.
Hey another school of thought about this is an alternative lifestyle! Look up Timothy J ward, he travels all around the US and overseas just by doing odd jobs and seasonal jobs! He also puts emphasis on breaking barriers in terms this is where you have to be in life, I highly recommend his channel
@Denver I’m 19 as well, I asked myself the same question. But It really depends! Med school is a good thing to do, remember you don’t have to do 1 thing all your life brother!
Please can you help me I'm kinda going with those staff especially family . RN I just want to live peacefully and pursue my education but it's too much Chaos here , I don't have a job so that I can move out and my parents wouldn't spare money for this .. Just don't know how to shut myself up form this regular Chaos .
I find myself currently going through a similar bout of pressure. At 22 years old, stagnating in a degree I have lost interest in, I realize the difference between what I once wanted for myself and how that has changed over the years. I plan on reshaping this path to follow a direction I am more satisfied with by giving trust to my own decision making instead of my parents and who I was 5-6 years ago. Wish me luck
OMG I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm 23 and because I'm aware that everything has consequences, I'm always freaking out. My anxiety rate is so bad that at times I realize it and I hate it, so I'm planning to see a therapist to help. It's just bad because I feel like I'm all on my own and I think that's just what makes it worse...no chance to mess up. Ughh. I have been working on it though, but I think therapy might be able to make it easier.
Key point : 1. Every action got consequences 2. Best time for our brain to learn. Use it. 3. Dont know whats your passion? Use 2 ways : a. Identity capital, take jobs / experiences related to your preferred field. B. Starbuck phase. Just do whatever jobs out there. It is better to start option a asap. 4. Dont underestimate weak ties. Friends of the friends @ long lost friend. It might help! 5. Be realistic. My fav point. ((Ppl tend to choose better when theres limited option - the paradox of choice)) 6. Your goals should be something that you want to pursue, not because other factors (family pressure, prestige work etc). Be honest, & my own tips : journalling, reflecting & talking to ppl / google helps! 7. Biggest decision = marrying someone. My own pov = dating a badboy might sounds fun & hella interesting but makesure he/she is someone that you can relay to, got similar life goals. 8. Love & respect yourself first 9. Theres always grey section in our life. So, these kinds of life guidelines can be helpful
@@roughvik7252 nah, i stand with what i said. I am from south east asian, so my society definition of bad could be different from yours. My ex is someone who being considered big huge most prominent red flag in my society.
As a 32 year old, I do NOT miss my 20s. What a pressure-filled decade to meet so many mile stones. Back then I couldn't slow down to think about being kind to my soul. So grateful for therapy now (better late than never).
As a 25-year-old therapist, I just want to thank you for sharing that. It's refreshing to hear messages that can counter the myth that you're happier when you're younger. I had a very unhappy childhood, and so far, every stage of my life has been greater than the last. These days I'm happy, always excited for what the future will bring - and it's a lot better than the way I used to feel about the future. Thank you for sharing your similar experience. I hope it will inspire others to 1) worry less about how they're using their youth, and 2) feel better about their futures. 🙂
I am almost 23 and I lost all interest in the things I used to enjoy as a teen because now I think that everything I do has to be productive and somewhat intentional and I am SOOOO tired of that. It holds me back like crazy. The point is that no one knows when it is over so I try to not overthink it too much.
You're right! And I really relate. Everyone expects to live until they're old, so they plan their entire lives around achieving x, y, and z by the time they're old. But we all have no idea and could literally die any second. Might as well not be so serious and just have fun!
We live on a Rock that is powered by a big fireball and moving incredibly fast trough nearly empty space. The only reason to exist is the spark within us and be playful. I am a high achiever too, i do many Things, but i also do Things that are Not productive. Like just dancing or whatever. Everytime i feel down or pressured, i will remember the flying Rock and just be happy and grateful. Maybe this helps you. ☺️
I've been on the same boat since 98... I'm in a rut now with no directions. Where to go? idk 🤷🏾♀️ Everyone says no rush and I'm still young but in my pov the sun sets on a new day more than it rises.
Serious depression really ate away my early 20s. Now I feel I'm on the mend so hopefully this newfound energy can help me turn this franchise around. Very nice video.
Same. My early 20s were a goddamn hellscape. I don't know about all these mf youtube/instagram influencers who claim they bought their first house at 22, had a million dollars in investments by 25, worked since they were 9, or whatever shit. They're mostly all liars, obviously, but goddamn the gaslighting 😂
I messed up my early 20s by dating multiple people. I dedicated so much time for my previous partners that I didn’t even focus on myself. Now at 25, and single for a year, I realized how much time I wasted and I feel way behind and a failure in life. I am just glad I am aware now of my failures. I hope people watch this video because it’s all true based on my experience.
I‘m curious, do you have any tips for people dealing with similar experiences? I feel like I’m losing my identity atm because I got so lost in my current relationship. I love my partner more than anything and we have a healthy bond, but it’s really hard for me to establish anything outside of our relationship and I’m kinda losing myself right now - especially because I recently moved to another city to be with him. Is it even possible to balance a relationship and to also find your own identity/discover who you really are in your early 20s?
When it comes to friends who have other interests, yes I agree, but it's important to remember that these friends also need to be able to listen about your interests. In my case, it ended up that I always had friends who had different interests than me and they always wanted and shared their interests with me, but they completely didn't care what I was interested in. Years later, I know that it's important to have at least one person with whom you can share that you saw a cool movie, that you have an interesting passion, etc. The fact that you don't have anyone with whom you can share such information is also bad for your mental health in the long run.
Needed to hear this, I'm in a bad place where I don't have anyone to share my interests with. It makes me think that maybe I should cut off this group of friends that I have and just live in the digital world. But the more I thought about it, reading this and listening to this guy, made me realize that it's okay to feel this way and I could somehow meet someone who has the same interests as me while keeping this group of friends
I'm now 28 and wow, even though there's a little under two years left to go I feel like what you discussed was accurate. It's also not a coincidence that mental health problems can really kick into gear in your mid-twenties.
@@reptilesgamers00 hey i literally turned 25 a few days ago and im in the exact same situatuon... i feel like i shouldve done things different, getting out more, meeting with girls (what i almost never did) and i feel so depressed about it... how did u handle it?
@@MrDaChekar Still working it out man. Right now just trying to get my career figured out. Seems like $20 an hour is like the new $15 an hour. Experience wise I feel behind. Guarantee when you find your mission and purpose in your life the women will come. For the ultimate "how to with women" look up 3% man. And stay away from red pill
@@MrDaChekar lol 25 here as well, just got out of my first relationship and have been feeling some existential dread, but have gotten somewhat past that. I am the same as you, things I should have done different and got out more. But dont let your regrets eat away at you. The only thing you can control is your actions now. Get your career going if you havent already. Hit the gym regularly or do some kind of exercise. Exercise is the best antidepressant. You will feel better, you will look better and you will be more confident. As for dating, if you regret not putting yourself out there in the past. It is still not too late. Use dating apps for the most efficient way of meeting potential matches.
I read 12 Rules of Life : An antidote to chaos by Jordan B. Peterson and Dr. Meg Jay's book during the pandemic when I was stuck in Wuhan. I had a mental breakdown from constantly comparing my life to people who were free across the world to pursue their dreams. My life had suddenly come to grinding halt and thought I would not finish medical school with the amount of stress I was experiencing. It was a life-changing experience. I got myself together and finished medical school, made good use of my weak ties for references, worked on a scholarship I had dreamed of getting , won it (The Rhodes Scholarship)and now I will be attending Oxford next fall. It's so phenomenal realizing how much we can achieve when we capitalize on life's unexpected sufferings and adopt meaning from life through taking responsibility for ourselves. I recommend both books!
Wow, you were in Wuhan? That must have been crazy...keep it up. This stuff isn't easy these days, it's not 1960 anymore where you could get a career and partner by 24. It takes 3x the mental energy to position yourself for success for Gen Z, keep up the amazing journey!
I lost my teens due to chronic illness. Spent most of my time going in and out of the hospital. I’m currently 21 and had to dropped out college about three times. I’m getting better like really good actually. For the first time in years I feel alive. But sometimes I can’t help to compare myself to others. I know that isn’t fair to myself but I can’t help it.
Hey Aur Im glad your feeling better in your life. I hope this continues for you & you get to always feel alive. I just wanted to say that I used to compare myself also, but I realised that you can’t really compare yourself to others because they’re not you. Your not a malfunctioning Barbie that is made the same as the rest, your made like you, your one of a kind. Nobody is you, nobody is like you, and there never will be another you, with all your own goals, achievements, and even low points that help shape who you are. We are all on our own journey of growth & discovery and comparing yourself to the highlights of other people’s lives and the opportunities that are on their journey only, doesn’t make sense at all. You will do amazing things in your life, you’ve already come so far, trust that. God Bless
Hi Just know that we all get lost at some point and try to figure out what to do next by comparing ourselves to others. The thing is when it happens just try to remember that they are not you, the more you appreciate yourself the less you’re interested in trying to do what other people are doing Also congratulations for your health improvement you’ve come a long way Be blessed and take care 💜
Watching this in my last year of my 20s…but hey better late than never. Good points in the video and I’m glad you made people feel less alone about being single through your early and mid- 20s. It’s very common and I wish people wouldn’t beat themselves up about it. I didn’t date until I was 25 and it made me feel so insecure, but it was such a waste of time being insecure about it.
It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. But, how you start has an immense impact on how you finish so it’s key to nail down how you’re spending your time in your 20s to lay the foundation for the rest of your life. Great video!
The steps along the journey. All you have is moment to moment. Throw/shoot to/for infinity. Set incremental goals that build off from an organic desire. Pat yourself on the back and playfully kick yourself in the ass.
In my 20s I went to undergrad and grad school, internship, volunteer, lived abroad (2 countries), multiple odd jobs and small business, improving English as my second and learning Mandarin as my 3rd, learning how to cook, learning to swim and thread in deep end water, learning to trade in financial market, and taking a good care of my health...what I don't have yet : stable career, mortgage and romantic relationship 😂
@@SamLui in my home country most people are well verse in another 2-3 languages/dialect on top of our mother tongue, so there's nothing special about it though 😜.. I personally think 20s is the best time to flex our brain and physique with as many activities we can, and enjoying the whole process as we grow up.. I probably speak as someone who is quite fortunate to have parents who could afford to give their child as much space to play around and learn things independently - not trying to imply that one has to get permission from parents or guardian to do stuff 😆.. anyway great video Sam!
@@pencil6965 That's how I made the most of my 20s. As you can see, there were things that I have achieved and those I didn't...I was far from perfect but I'm pretty much content with my life as it is... You can interpret it as brag if that's how you want to see it... I'm sorry if that's the thing that spring to your mind when reading my initial comment. 😉 I was sharing my thoughts and experience in response to the video in addition to learning from what Sam has to say 🙂
As a lady in her early twenties & just graduated, this is incredibly encouraging to hear! I’m going through a lot of change (relationships, career, living situation) and this really helped me re-center myself onto what I want for the next few years, which was weirdly comforting. It’s an overwhelming time of my life, so I appreciate hearing this wisdom!
Early 20s here as well, I'll say is also learn how to communicate and talk to people. It can go a long way and even get you into unexpected places. And hit on some self-help books(recommend "never split the difference" and "millionaire fastlane")
@@martinisawe6300 Yes I definitely agree! I'll have to check those books out. I've been reading the 48 Laws of Power (kinda dark book, so take it with many grains of salt) and I've found it helps me as well in communication & tough interpersonal situations.
I mostly travelled and stuff in my 20s. It was good. I'm 29 now and wish to develop some kind of financial security next and live a quieter life. Sometimes I wish I'd begun to build a career earlier but then I'd not have had the adventures and I never regret those. It's tough because if you follow your dreams rather than society's plan it is easy to develop fomo and feel that you're not living up to your potential but if you play it safe and start earning and investing you probably wonder what it would've been like to follow your intuition. Basically life is hard no matter what strategies you try to apply to it. If I do have regrets, one is watching too many videos like this that try to tell me how to live based on someone else's neuroses. To whomever is reading this: you are wonderful and however you choose to live your life is up to you. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Keep your eyes open, stay positive and love each other. The rest is unimportant.
Hey there Sam. I'm in my late 40s now, but my 20s literally just seem like yesterday. I remember all the ups and downs probably better than I remember last year TBH lol. This is a really well thought out and balanced vid. So much so that I just shared it with my teen in the hope that she will think about some of these things now, perhaps, in preparation. It is true to a large degree that the things we do in our 20s and 30s will shape our life to some extent. But in my experience, also it is important to be mindful of "traps". These, for want of a better word, are the ruts that we can fall into. I'll be honest - when the career takes off , and the partner finally comes into the mix to the extent that you both become like two trees growing intertwined, the plot begins to thicken. Add to this a house, a mortgage and beautiful wonderful life changing little children (who rapidly become bigger self automated and incredible young adults!) and suddenly it can get overwhelming. Those things I mentioned are not the traps by the way. The traps are the coping habits that we form because of the stresses of life. These habits, especially if not identified early, can undermine so much of the potential to enjoy all the splendors that come our way. I don't say this to put clouds over a sunny day. My point is that each of us as a person will at some point face decisions, later in life about how we choose to respond to situations that seem unavoidable. Yes - our 20s and the decisions we make then are important, but as we grow, it's also so important to understand that the way we learn to cope and react to "life" is just as important, and can be just as transformational. You seem a very mature young man for you age. If you had the time and inclination to read this, I'm very grateful and I hope it gets you thinking more about "outlook on life" and it's potential effects. Might even be a vid in there ;)
What a great and insightful comment, Phill! I always appreciate it when older viewers leave comments like these on my videos. I definitely need to consider what my 'traps' are and get back to you guys on that ;)
Turning 20 in March and I also was 17 at the beginning of quarantine. It doesn't feel real, lol. Kind of sad and scary how fast time flies but also really cool to see how much you've grown those three years !
Turning 20 in March. I’ve done a good amount of things and challenged myself and made some money! Also taking in university right now and I’m going into year 3 next year. I’m growing slowly and I know I’m so much more knowledgeable now than I was back when I was 17. Turning 19, I decided to learn as much as I can this year and I’m already so much more knowledgeable. Became great at guitar, drove a pea combine and grew plants in the summer, started watching more tv shows when I had time, got a girlfriend, ace my classes in university, learned to water ski, and started listening to podcasts which made me informed about astronomy, philosophy, and politics. Only good things to come :). I’ve been too tough on myself recently and always forget to see how great I have it. We’ll be good!
28 now but a myriad of sometimes crippling depression, anxiety, and being officially diagnosed with adhd at 25 made me feel like I wasted a lot of my 20s because I was mentally absent for a lot of it, especially ages 24-27. I’m trying to mend this now because I’m waking up to how absent I’ve been and want to make changes, but to say I’m no longer struggling would be a big fat lie.
I'm in the same boat Clarissa, I was diagnosed with ADHD and SLD at 26 (currently I'm 28). Take one day at a time and focus just on yourself instead of what anyone else is doing, it will make things 10 times easier! Good luck.
This is so true. I thought I'm the only one who feels this way. So happy to know that there are many others who feel insecure and depressed in their 20s. As for me, i feels like day by day passes without me accomplishing anything. Im just afraid that i just wasted my youth also i havent found my life partner yet, my income also not stable and feeling depressed whenever seeing my peers gotten married and have kid. But seeing all the comments giving me reliefs that we are all struggling in our life especially in the 20s. So i hope we can all survive this life and just do whatever life can offers us. Cheers
I’m a 16 year old sophomore in high school and I came across this video. I didn’t do good in school during freshman year because of covid and I was suicidal and now I’m turning my life around and trying to fix my mistakes and better my life. My grades are improving even tho I feel like I’m behind :)
Broo stay strong I messed up my Alevels here in the uk aswell covid messed us all up but remember there are so many skills that could be learned outside school, I developed a Jew interest in programming and electronics now I’m soo good at . Who would’ve thought. So use this as an opportunity to explore new things outside the circle that you could even be better at
Relax, enjoy high school. I was in the same situation as you except I didn’t have this information and I ended up graduating. Just please don’t date, take my word for it. It can put you behind mentally and academically. I would say learn what a healthy relationship is first. You will do well, keep it up.
Dude LISTEN TO MY ADVICE You can potentially set up a very very nice life by just maintaining good grades. If you can graduate with a 3.0-3.5+ gpa you can get into colleges a lot easier. If you graduate with a low gpa you’re permanently making your chances of getting into college a LOT lower. I told myself that grades didn’t matter because after I graduate... gonezo. I changed my mind and now I live with my grades I earned. A reminder that slacking while depressed makes things worse and you have to do the bare minimum at least to get by so you’re not making your situation worse. Things will get better. They’ll even become awesome. Beauty of life can flood your senses, and you can feel joy. I promise.
The only things that really mattered from high school was having good enough grades to get into the school you want- don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get things figured out now, you’ll be just fine!
Introspection is what save me. I know who I am at the end of the day and can enjoy the moment as I slowly try to live up to that identity. I am simply a janitor at the moment because there is no field I have ever had passion in. No degree stood out to me. Didn't go to college. I am 21 and just working towards a small goal of becoming a supervisor. Now all these creative call outs are calling to me. I can see what I genuinely want to do. Create some type of art. Produce something to enduce feelings, make people happy. Now my depression faded because that's all that matters to me. I can void all my anxiety, worries about being behind in life because I just gotta start working to complete my own goals. I've learned to love myself as well, working a bottom barrel job in solitude. I've been through religous trauma, picked with and suffered through social isolation and it's fading away. I've never had a relationship either and now after embracing myself I can see myself finding someone that's actually fit for my dreams. I'm open, just need to make friends, do some artistic endeavors, my lifes set :')
It's only my opinion against yours but I'd like to chime in. If you believe our generation is more self aware than the previous ones, I'd say you're severly misguided. I'm a late millenial, and if anything, I remember the times where you wouldn't keep your nose on your screen 24/7 and actually spend time thinking. People get anxious when letting themselves think nowdays. Hence why some talk about "showerthoughts" it's the only time where people actually peel their eyes off the screen. Were people smarter back then ? Not at all. But they were more aware of what was going on, especially in a social environment, that's for sure. I think you find the modern generation as more "self aware" because when expressing some basic human concepts, those seems extremely thoughtful to you when they're actually pretty obvious, you just never took the time to actually fully realize these concepts. if anything I'd argue that there's never been a moment in history where herd mentality was more prevalent than now with social media. That being said this video gives good advice, but the key takeway here is that there is no optimal way to live your life. Just make sure you're living your own, not passively participate in someone else's
@@Sweyn_Nero well our generation is also gifted to a wide access of knowledge like this video, which may seem like basic info but for me without present parents its quite soothing. Im not disagreeing with you, but im js. Self awareness is more than staying present in social situations, that may be good for our social identity but not exactly self awareness in the sense of knowing your strengths weaknesses and emotions, etc, whatever, if anything this video seems to address the notion that we have to BE self aware in some bullshit way of knowing what we want as a career like come on dude
I am using my 20s to enjoy my childhood! I had to grow up fast so it’s never too late to spoil love myself. Also at the same time building my future the life I create :)
I’m 21. That bit about how if you’ve never dated someone you might feel undesirable hit hard. I realized this a bit two years ago and ever since then I’ve been trying to learn how to love myself. I think I’ve made a LOT of improvement in that area and since then my dating life has been slightly better. But I’m still not all the way there. Anyway thank you for the video. I am going to take a lot of this advice into account for my 20s. The love thing is something I kinda agonize over when I’m home alone late at night but a lot of the career stuff is stuff I’d never thought about so it is good to hear!
I'm going to turn 20 next mothe and I've also never dated anybody or ever felt this need but everything is always questioning me so much about this as if it's a huge problem. I've already learned how to love myself since 2019 and I just think that people should mind their own business
As a 17 year old, thank you. This was very eye opening. I've been feeling pressure to figure out what I'm passionate about since I started high school. I'm going to be proactive about job shadowing and internships now. I feel like I should read that book now because I feel like it'll stick more if I do.
Αντρέας Σωτηρίου I 20s were perfect, well on paper at least. And sometimes we think we are done with the childhood needs... since we have accomplished a lot. It strikes... So enjoy your 20s.
@@eduardochavacano The thing is that trauma in our life must be healed in order to live healthy so what i want people to know is that is possible to heal anything ! Just speak to someone and there is a solution a light in everything ! God bless !
@@arrietty1619 Well, are you adjust your life in something ? What are you striving for ? Pray to God. And Insist on something. Good things happen when you try.
At 58, my life became a lot easier when I realized that everything is about harmonious relationships and being positively effective in an organization, any organization. When I stopped looking at other people as "the enemy" and began working on my own communication skills, having an attitude of grattitude and "how can I be of service?" rather than "what's in it for me?", things improved.
I totally agree with knowing what's your intention when getting into a relationship or looking for a job. It really helps you set a point in mind that would help you remind yourself why did you enter this kind of relationship or why did you took this kind of job. When I first have my first job as a Customer Service Representative, I don't really have a clear intention on why did I grabbed that opportunity, while I can just work based on my degree or using my talent, but as I grew older and as I get work experience I got to that point that I've been asking myself that question "what's my intention?". So yeah its kinda helpful but ofcourse there's still some aspects that that question won't be able to answer.
I am in my mid 20s and I recently quit my job because I was not happy at where I was and what I was doing. I knew deep down this is not I am supposed to do. I got my family very angry for quitting and my mom reminds me once in a while that I should not have done it. I literally have very few people who support me. Now I am sleeping better, taking care of my body better, building new habits, working on my mental state, learning new things and following a path to achieve a dream. Lot of uncertainties, financial crisis, low points and high points, productive days, Days I don't want to get up. Sometimes I will just cry on my own and let it go. Creating things from scratch, relearning a lot of things that I even learned in school. The list never ends. But for some reason, I feel like I am learning more than I ever have in my life. I don't know where this is going. All I know is I am not stopping anywhere soon.
Aaayyyy what a milestone to have your first sponsored video! Great discussion of the book, Sam. I especially like the reminder of keeping weak ties in mind and always be learning. I want to reread it now!
Yeah I'm learning this hard lesson now. I was told in my twenties "don't worry, take your time", and now I've made some choices in my twenties that will live with me for the rest of my life. I also spent my twenties recovering from a traumatic childhood so now I'm spending my 30s for covering for my twenties.
I'm 29 and next year I will be 30 so for me during my early 20's I had mental issues. Now, I am doing therapy to better myself and love myself first and it is teaching me to be a better person as a single woman.
As a person in his early 20s(specifically 22) I have digest alot of self-help books, learning 2 languages(Spanish and Tagalog), been going out and talking to strangers, learning how to apply for a job, negotiate for families, learn how to cook and hit the gym (I kinda sound pretty cocky haha) Though i do have challenges, like when I was 18 I did had an identity crisis which a friend from Chile helped me alot. Having to get a Facebook community, friends and family how to get over my "self-doubt" to get a job, and even ask workers/managers how to get over fear and Struggling with getting a ride. Even though what I say is a pretty depressing, atleast I can manage to get over theses obstacles and find solutions
For someone who's going to be soon 21 in the next 4 months, after 3years of gap after school to focus on my mental health, it sometimes feels nerve wracking to restart at 21, where most of them graduate by that time, and at least knew what they want or how they life's gonna look like, makes me wonder what this life is really gonna look like for me in my mid and late 20s & 30s puts me in a bunch of rollercoaster emotions!!
Don't worry man. Think that there are people that they went directly to college with no reasons and now they feel lost with no job🙌 after my experience i advice always to take gap years after school
I’m in my mid 30s (retired early with kids) and made the best of my 20s, with plenty of mistakes along they way. Please don’t waste your 20s! It’s the best foundation years of your life. Totally right on the compounding Sam - investing 10 years early can mean 2x the nest egg at 65!
love the point you made about realistic goals. I feel like some people may take that sentiment the wrong way and feel offended, but it's true. i initially pursued finance but i realized i never cared to learn in any of my finance classes and math isn't really one of my strong suits. although finance positions make great money, i will most likely not pursue any finance roles.
Hey, I am also interested in finance career. I am not good at maths but i found the finance lectures very interesting (studying marketing bachelor right now). I am stuck a bit, I dont feel smart enough for finance, but I feel like I am not quite interested in any other field.
Because of the way i grew up and living with severe depression for many years, i didn't really grow as a person through adolescence to the degree most people do, so as a result i feel like i have the mental maturity now of like a 16 year old. I'm 21 now, so i *need* to use my 20s as if it were my first adolescence, lots of learning through constant exposure and experience.
I didn't know what to do in my 20s, so I outsourced that to Uncle Sam, spent the first 5 years of my 20s in the navy, working really hard and traveling around the world. Worth every single minutes.
I'm in my late 20s and I think I'm going through a huge identity crisis in two aspects I thought I had under control. First my relationship: I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and now I feel I don't love him anymore, I don't know why. I've already told him, and it looks like we're going to break up. Which I'm so afraid of, because as an introvert it's difficult for me to meet new people. Then my career: earlier this year I reached a peak. I passed a public examination to become a secondary school teacher, which is what I wanted to be since I was a teen, but now I feel I have nothing else to do with my life. The fact that maybe I'll be doing the same exact thing all my life makes me feel so empty and scared. I guess I'm more ambitious than I thought, that's why I passed those exams so early in life (most people I know don't pass them until they're in their 30s or 40s). Anyway, I think I'm going through the quarter life crisis. And I'm telling you because I feel so lost for the first time in my life. Before, I always knew what I wanted, and the hard part was getting it. But now I don't know what I want so I can't do anything to get it. I'm seeing a therapist, but for some reason sharing my problems with strangers is so helpful, that's why I wrote that. And I'm not a native English speaker, so sorry about my grammar.
Keep going your doing great, and trust your instincts,for me my life is really unpredictable right now ,cause I dropped off the college for 3years cause I was mentally unstable and restart again at 21 this year, it's crazy not knowing what this life is really gonna look like for me where everyone graduates by this age and know what they're gonna do.and also I've never been in a relationship so as far as I could say if you feel like you don't love your boyfriend anymore it's better to rethink and think about breaking up cause your not only hurting yourself but also your boyfriend but it's better to focus on yourself for the moment.hope it helps from a random stranger! 😊
Hey I'm in a similar boat as you, and I think we are def not alone. On the one hand, I took a couple extra years to get a degree in eng, and took a boring job because I was afraid I would be passed on for my grades. However, the extra money I've earned has allowed me to get interested in a couple new hobbies like woodworking, this might be something helpful for you. When some people say, find your passion outside of work, I simply have to disagree. I spend over half my day busy because of my job (and I usually only sleep 6 hrs!!), I'm not going to rest until I find a job that I can get excited about everyday. I'm actively working on a fancy circuit right now to put on my resume to get the electronics job I would like. This also gives me some purpose. On the other hand, I haven't been on a date in 2 years, and have some roommates that are fine but I cannot/do not want to call my friends, and only friends back home who I can really call true friends. I'm hoping to explore this domain more once I can hopefully find the right job in a few months and move off. I hope things for you improve. Has therapy helped? I have considered it. Also what country are you from? Your english is excellent
@@Jarrettmonty99 How are you doing four months later? I only went to a few therapy sessions, and it helped me with my relationship: I was looking for the right answer, whether staying with my boyfriend or breaking up, and through therapy I understood there wasn't a right answer, and made me realise that whatever I chose everything was gonna be okay. So I chose to break up with him. About my career, my therapist gave me the same advice you mention: finding a passion outside my job. I wasn't convinced by that back then, but I guess she was right, as I actually love my job as a teacher. My job is not the problem, the problem was my mindset of wanting to keep getting promotions. I'm from Barcelona. My English is good, but I sometimes mess up when trying to explain complex ideas.
Spend my 20s partying, travelling the world and doing what I wanted. Lived with my mum the whole time. Now I’ve grown out of partying and I’m starting a company that would have been impossible hadn’t it been for the experiences I had in that time. Meanwhile my mates who spent their 20s working constantly are all downsizing their jobs because they feel like they’ve wasted their lives… they now want to go out partying and travelling but the boat has sailed and now they are too old, tired and tied down to experience being truly free and young. Your 20s is about thinking you know it all and knowing fuck all.
I'm 25, I'm so afraid of not learning. I wasted a lot of time due to depression, anxiety, overthinking and addiction. I haven't really learned any skills. Jeez! I'm so scared.
Sounds like you learned a lot of life skills overcoming all of those issues ! I think learning to care of our own mental health might actually be one of the most important life lessons and the foundation we need to build a happy life on. Yes, life is scary sometimes but not any scarier than the shit our brains get up to ;)
So I had spent my younger part of my life chasing after me cos I was so frightened by the fact that I don’t know who I am. I don’t regret anything, whether whatever happened caused me depression & relationship scarring or set backs.Just let the pursuit continue. Don’t fault yourself if you’ve ever not always been on the path to “success” cos it’s still priceless experience. Internal resource that will get you where you wanna be! 26 now & honestly immensely thankful to my younger self. Suffered a severe disillusionment from a breakup & went thru 2 jobless years to get to where I am but I made it to the career path of my choice, my mind is extremely clear on what I want now, actively building that bank & I now deeply know my worth as a woman/ life partner potential! Keep pressing in peeps
I'm 21 and I'm on a software dev grad scheme at an amazing company but I've been feeling a bit lost lately. This video was super helpful and inspiring to me, I'm definitely gonna read The Defining Decade. Thank you Sam!
Keep going. As a graduate i feel like I don't know where i go. And now decided to read more about that type of books hopefully with my interaction with the real world, i could find my passion.
My biggest regret in my 20s was hustling for work. It was a total waste of time and I missed out on so much. Time flew by way too fast. It would be a shame to miss out on all that tight 😽 Spend your free time studying then just go have fun. The time studying will pay dividends. And the older that you get, the harder it is to make new friends as people get busy with work and family. The key point is to just have fun.
24, but still feel 23. Matter of fact, I still feel 21 😅 Age is just a number. It’s all energy. “Youth” is a state of mind. Tap in. A huge blessing to simply be a live.
You're spot on about the point about loving yourself, loneliness can be crippling but it's the only time you can think hard about how you want to grow as a person
I'm 22 and so far my most amazing experience has been volunteering, i lived two months in a foreign country and met amazing people from all over the country, volunteering is so so meaningful and i wish i could experience that again but because of covid and my graduation from uni, i will be entering the workforce and i don't think i can do this anymore...maybe one day, i hope. I will focus more on my mental and physical health, as well as traveling more and more 😍
I am about to hit 30 so I've stumbled on this a bit late, but now I know I could have not made some serious mistakes had I just had someone alert me to it seriously early on. Kudos to all those in their 20s looking into how to live better already!
I don’t know how I came across this but I needed to hear it. The way you express yourself is also on point, you made everything sound exactly as it is.
I hustled hard in my 20's. Semi retired at 27. Tried to do everything right. I could never take a break. I wanted it all. (Materialistic).... Then once I got it it never made me happy at all.....kinda sad. I think I rather the journey more then destination. 20s wasent not totally wasted......I now learned to slow down more and enjoy the moment. God bless
This is literally the best video I have seen so far from you Sam! I love the fact that you present your information well and do a lot of research! I agree with you that your 20s are really the "second adolescence" and that they are made for discovery, trial and error and also surprises! Sometimes it can be difficult to keep positive during our twenties because we begin taking on more responsibility for our choices, but that doesn't have to bring us down. Instead we should, as you say, be looking for new connections, taking the time to get to know potential partners well and understanding more about who we are and who we vibe with the most. Another thing is that we fear taking the plunge into a new field even if everyone you know has always identified you with a certain subject! Life isn't about labels but about being enriched by as many experiences as you can! :)
My approach has been to stop and really assess what my values are. You need to ask yourself if you actually WANT the nice house, nice car, prestigious job, spouse, 2.5 kids. I spent 20-26 going through the motions just doing what I thought was expected of me, aiming for the same goals as seemingly everyone else. But I never even wanted the things I was working toward. I've left corporate life and now work seasonal jobs traveling in an RV, it's not without its struggles i.e. BIG pay cut, being 1,500 mi away from my support system, but I'm the happiest I've ever been and now have very little anxiety about "getting it right"
Thanks for your wholesome video! I'm in my early 20s, I feel indeed lost and vague, thanks to you I can get some guides to clarify my mind. Keep up your good workkk
My childhood to 20s was the most hellish experience I have ever had in my life. Near death, abuse, depression, anxiety, suicidal, and addiction. It wasn’t the brightest time of my life. I thought I’d probably die during those days, but here I am, still alive. 😂
The only thing I would comment on is the idea of "Why would someone else love you if you don't love yourself?" - It's kind of toxic because other people can see things in you that you yourself dont see and might be attracted to that. The issue is however if you don't love yourself then you will very likely use rely on your partner for validation which can be very tiring for them and does not result in a healthy relationship dynamic.
I'm not 20 yet I'm really far from that age, but I'm always worried about what happens to me in the future, thank you for this video it makes me feel at ease
I am a really hard worker (but employed in a dead end job), i've been working since i was 19 to achieve my own indipendence (plus studing/side hustle) and one day i hope i can start my own business. Back in the past i had a bad time in the college so i left it. I was kinda introvert so i could'nt really fit into a relationship or even just socializing. Furthermore, in my mind, "waiting" so many years to get a job was making things even worse. Right now i am less sad cause i kinda know where i am going, but many young people (just like me cause i am 23) are having a lot of fun and lot of free time while i am working hard as hell, plus i don't even know how to "slow down", i couldn't handle my life without such that great income and it it just feels great to be productive. I just hope i will have fun in my 30s, or at least more indipendence
I'm 24. Haven't even reached the mid point of my 20's yet. I focused on getting a job that paid very well (nursing) and now I live a minimalist lifestyle with not a lot of expenses. Basically I have a shit ton of money at my disposal. I learned spanish to a very high level. I became a licensed skydiver. I started traveling internationally. All of which I did in this last year. And now after years of suicidal depression I've fallen in love with life. And my biggest problem is that I hate my job! I hate hospital culture. I hate the mistreatment I receive from my bosses and almost half of my patients. I dread going into work. But, I provides me the literal life of my dreams. If I could I would spend my life working 3 months and then traveling for the other 9 months. I could afford it too. But no company would hire me if I did. This entire business network has us trapped. Returning endlessly for more labor even when we have more money than we need! I'm at a crossroads now. And I genuinely don't know what to do. I just have no desire to work 11 months out of the year to enjoy the final 1. Fuck that life. I made my good decisions, I made my money, I'm not a slave. Let me work when I need more money and not when you need more workers.
I’ll turn 25 on February 25th. Just graduated university last year and currently have a stable job, but I feel kind of stuck... architecture has always been my passion but I feel like I need more time to get to know myself more and exploring new hobbies, so on my free time I try to do more yoga or going for a jog...
Thanks for the video, I think I needed to hear this stuff today because I had the exact thought of "Am I unloveable?" (21, never dated anyone). It's interesting you point out the failure of couples who cohabit before marriage is down to the *cirumstances* of the relationship that cause cohabitation, not the cohabitation itself. Also, videos like this give me comfort because I'm not someone who's into drinking, partying or taking drugs and my idea of fun is going to an amateur theatre group or going to museums with friends. I need things that give me joy and stimulate my brain. I'm glad to have found friends who feel the same way and I finally have somewhere to fit in. I tried the "Starbucks phase" when I was 19/20, before I even got to college, and while in some ways it was awful and I couldn't hold down any menial job for more than 3 months, it gave me time to decide what to do. And all my relationships are important - I don't write people off because I know someone seemingly unimportant could be a great help one day.
First, after watching your video and second, reading the comment section, i feel more reassured since i have lately experienced a crisis at my 25's. In late times, i have stated a gap between me and the other people who were already engaged, or people who would go out at night with close friends, people who would travel etc. I have been told these many things like "why don't you travel?" coming from a 80's generation guy, "my sister who's your age goes to club. Don't spend your 20's", "for a 25 year old person, you are very mature", "why are you so organized with your life? You are still young", "why are you still not married?" I keep facing this kind of questions which made me doubt about me and because of what i unecessaliry risen problematics of *if i am doing things right or if i am spending my 20's for nothing* . It has actually made me feel like i was not "normal" and stressed me out. However, the retrospection on myself has given me clarity and some answers to these existential questions: i am 25 and i feel safer with organizing my life since i respect my own time. I don't go out at night because i don't have that bunch of friends to go with + sport and learning makes me feel more productive and happier. I am not married because i have not met the one. I started to work at my 22's because i wanted to develop skills and experiences that i can use as great tools in a new job before my 30's (anticipation + identity capital construction), so i can live an independant and happy life. In other words, we cannot blame ourselves for things we cannot control or opportunities that were not presented to us. But we can work for new things to come while living a peaceful and exciting life. The key is to balance both sides.
So, to summarize: You make the most out of your 20s if you act with reason. Reasoning comes from your beliefs and values to make good decisions and not waste your 20s. Two major areas are work and love. The way you build your belief and value system is with building your identity, which you will get from diverse experiences (identity capital). That's the gist of it (at least what I think), the video summarizes some important decisions you make and how this all applies.
I actually enjoyed this. I'm currently in my 20s, and I could relate being different because I'm pursuing my goals AND not pursuing relationships, and indulging in hook-up culture. Your explanations were really concise and I learned a lot.
I'm 19 and almost going to turn 20, starting to invest early is so important👌🏼 Also knowing how to spend time alone is so key, but no man is an island, find a balance ! I wish everyone here the best in their careers and relationships.
Too late for me then I guess. I'm 29 now on my way out, but I suppose I should look at it as a good thing. My 20's has easily been the most miserable experience of my life with so much anger, depression, and self hatred going on. I hope to be able to fix this in my 30's. I always go by the saying, "Better late than never."
I think in our 20s we should focus on learning as much as we can. More so than making money and investing, focus on reading history and learning more about human behaviour. Why we behave the way we do. In a sense studying self. Developing a proper mental frame work to take on life and learning to live competently. This set of skills help us become a better adult.oney aside which can be earned over time, it's good not to be swayed by investment gurus or media personalities. Cuz you will always have another good opportunities on the future to invest. Just make sure to take good care of your self and keep on learning. Take your time and experiment.
Kuya Saaaaam! I wished I had these foresight during my early 20's so I am sure many are learning from these now and you are saving them from making tons of mistake. I totally agree that we should spend our 20s to maximize learning potential and I guess to get to know yourself more. +20 points on making sure you love and value yourself 1st before you go and looking for others to love you because there will always be times that you will be alone and if you dont love yourself ...gg!! Thanks for your shortform code I created an account and reading a book now!! I am glad you got a sponsor -- more sponsors!!! Cheers.
It's easier when you are younger for sure!! But it's never too late, I'm in my 37s now and I remember my head was in the clouds all the time during my 20s, can't change the past now! But I can make it up for my coming forties 😊
Interesting video, I need to read this book! One part I disagree with is that we need to love ourselves before anyone else can love us. Of course you don’t want to be completely reliant on a partner for self worth/identity, but I have plenty of friends who I adore who don’t alway see themselves the same way I see them. I know plenty of people in relationships who struggle with their self image. Of course there’s a level where it will affect your relationships but I also feel like I didn’t ALLOW myself to get into a relationship when I was younger because I needed to “figure everything out with myself first” - and the reality is that it is an ongoing struggle for many people / needing to be “perfect” before being loved isn’t really the best message
I agree w this! Something I haven’t quite figured out though is what amount of self respect is actually ‘enough’ to be in a relationship 🤔 nonetheless self love is still important but having that someone who supports u and validates u can be incredible:)
I’m not 20 yet but I’m turning 18 in a few months. Transitioning into that “adult stage” It’s interesting to hear what older people have gone through. And how I can learn through their experiences. Thanks for sharing this video.
I'm 21, never had a job and I'm getting one soon, I'm planning on moving out of my parent's asap and it's honestly terrifying the prospect and hurdles of moving forward in life, I really don't wanna waste my life but I'm apprehensive I'll just fuck everything up
I’m 21 and have finally felt a little more confident in my decision, choosing to improve my Mandarin at Soochow University. I want to go into the Education industry but right now this feels right for my path. I also want to use this slightly freeer time to learn the things I didn’t get to as a child. To ride a bike, to swim, to get back into Dance, etc. And the second growth spurt thing has inspired me to believe in myself but like right the fuck now while I’m going through this second growth spurt 😅☺️
As someone who graduated last year, this video is so helpful! Also you’re doing so well with views/subscribers after only having your channel for a couple of years ☺️
Thank you, Sam, for making this video. I’m in my 20s and been trying to figure out things in my life. I overthink a lot about myself, my purpose, love, work and studies. Your video made me think to start something new and stop things I need to stop now. I’ll recommend this vid to my friends or anyone in their 20s having the same thoughts as mine😍😎🍕 More power to you, Sam! Btw, new subscriber here 🇵🇭😍
Actually there is some researches that tell as that learning not become harder with age... sorry that I don't leave a link here, but to prove a little my point: 1 - learning strategies that kids don't know but adults can find(I just hope that people know that does it mean "google") and use, 2 - knowledge that new neurons forming during our life(from that research), which mean some adults don't really wanna learn couse it is easier just sit on sofa and watch some sitcom, it is comfortable. Learning something new is painful sometimes
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
To learn more than ever from important non-fiction books, join me on Shortform: shortform.com/samlui. You’ll get a 5-day free trial and a discounted annual subscription. One of my favorite books on Shortform is The Defining Decade.
Me encantó el vídeo
How old are you
That last one though
Being 26 now I realized I lost a lot of my early 20s to depression, addiction, and bad relationships. I didn’t higher my education and feel stuck in a dead end job but I’m starting the progress to change that, thanks for the video, I enjoy it and it gave me a little more motivation to do better and move towards the man I want to be when I hit 30
Also 26.. really trying to figure out which path to take. I just want to be happy.
@Denver I think it can give a path in the right direction, it’s also a place where you get a chance to learn a lot more no matter what you’re taking, from the people you meet and the experience you get. Imo I’d suggest trying it out and seeing if it’s right for you. I personally regret not going but I also didn’t do much with the time that I had. I’d say if you know what you want to study then at least try, if not, look into some good trades and get a co-op or an apprenticeship.
YES!!
Hey another school of thought about this is an alternative lifestyle! Look up Timothy J ward, he travels all around the US and overseas just by doing odd jobs and seasonal jobs! He also puts emphasis on breaking barriers in terms this is where you have to be in life, I highly recommend his channel
@Denver I’m 19 as well, I asked myself the same question. But It really depends! Med school is a good thing to do, remember you don’t have to do 1 thing all your life brother!
my biggest regret is putting so much pressure on myself in my 20s to 'do things right.' it led to so much needless worrying and anxiety and depression
Do what feels right for YOU n helps u build the life YOU want
Please can you help me I'm kinda going with those staff especially family .
RN I just want to live peacefully and pursue my education but it's too much Chaos here , I don't have a job so that I can move out and my parents wouldn't spare money for this ..
Just don't know how to shut myself up form this regular Chaos .
I find myself currently going through a similar bout of pressure. At 22 years old, stagnating in a degree I have lost interest in, I realize the difference between what I once wanted for myself and how that has changed over the years. I plan on reshaping this path to follow a direction I am more satisfied with by giving trust to my own decision making instead of my parents and who I was 5-6 years ago. Wish me luck
Currently going through this. Sht is hard man
OMG I'm going through the same thing right now. I'm 23 and because I'm aware that everything has consequences, I'm always freaking out. My anxiety rate is so bad that at times I realize it and I hate it, so I'm planning to see a therapist to help. It's just bad because I feel like I'm all on my own and I think that's just what makes it worse...no chance to mess up. Ughh. I have been working on it though, but I think therapy might be able to make it easier.
Key point :
1. Every action got consequences
2. Best time for our brain to learn. Use it.
3. Dont know whats your passion? Use 2 ways : a. Identity capital, take jobs / experiences related to your preferred field. B. Starbuck phase. Just do whatever jobs out there. It is better to start option a asap.
4. Dont underestimate weak ties. Friends of the friends @ long lost friend. It might help!
5. Be realistic. My fav point. ((Ppl tend to choose better when theres limited option - the paradox of choice))
6. Your goals should be something that you want to pursue, not because other factors (family pressure, prestige work etc). Be honest, & my own tips : journalling, reflecting & talking to ppl / google helps!
7. Biggest decision = marrying someone. My own pov = dating a badboy might sounds fun & hella interesting but makesure he/she is someone that you can relay to, got similar life goals.
8. Love & respect yourself first
9. Theres always grey section in our life. So, these kinds of life guidelines can be helpful
Thank you!!
Why do you liked badboys?
@@theomniplayer448 just my former preference i guess 🤠🤙💀
you might referring to enthusiastic guy is the preferable word than informal (badboy) but hey i could be wrong and it's your opinion
@@roughvik7252 nah, i stand with what i said. I am from south east asian, so my society definition of bad could be different from yours. My ex is someone who being considered big huge most prominent red flag in my society.
As a 32 year old, I do NOT miss my 20s. What a pressure-filled decade to meet so many mile stones. Back then I couldn't slow down to think about being kind to my soul. So grateful for therapy now (better late than never).
As a 25-year-old therapist, I just want to thank you for sharing that. It's refreshing to hear messages that can counter the myth that you're happier when you're younger. I had a very unhappy childhood, and so far, every stage of my life has been greater than the last. These days I'm happy, always excited for what the future will bring - and it's a lot better than the way I used to feel about the future. Thank you for sharing your similar experience. I hope it will inspire others to 1) worry less about how they're using their youth, and 2) feel better about their futures. 🙂
32 is still pretty early to have therapy, others do it in their 40s or 50s or don‘t do it at all
@@paulineblozzom I noticed some negative patterns, wanted to get help to nip it in the bud, and hopefully live my best life
@@paulineblozzom and I knew ppl that went to therapy back in 10th grade
@@zeffery101 well good for them, I'm not exactly sure why this matters right now
I am almost 23 and I lost all interest in the things I used to enjoy as a teen because now I think that everything I do has to be productive and somewhat intentional and I am SOOOO tired of that. It holds me back like crazy. The point is that no one knows when it is over so I try to not overthink it too much.
You're right! And I really relate. Everyone expects to live until they're old, so they plan their entire lives around achieving x, y, and z by the time they're old. But we all have no idea and could literally die any second. Might as well not be so serious and just have fun!
We live on a Rock that is powered by a big fireball and moving incredibly fast trough nearly empty space. The only reason to exist is the spark within us and be playful. I am a high achiever too, i do many Things, but i also do Things that are Not productive. Like just dancing or whatever. Everytime i feel down or pressured, i will remember the flying Rock and just be happy and grateful. Maybe this helps you. ☺️
@@Luanara101 I love this, thank you 😄
I've been on the same boat since 98... I'm in a rut now with no directions. Where to go? idk 🤷🏾♀️ Everyone says no rush and I'm still young but in my pov the sun sets on a new day more than it rises.
Same age same issue!!
Serious depression really ate away my early 20s. Now I feel I'm on the mend so hopefully this newfound energy can help me turn this franchise around.
Very nice video.
Don’t call it a comeback 👏🏼
i feel you. Age 23 wasn’t much for me due to depression. that “lay down” culture that’s been big in China now is pm where i was at 2019-2020…
Feels great, almost euphoric to be on that mend ! I wish you the best life.
@@SamLui hello, this is later but what does it mean "dont call it a comeback"?
Same. My early 20s were a goddamn hellscape. I don't know about all these mf youtube/instagram influencers who claim they bought their first house at 22, had a million dollars in investments by 25, worked since they were 9, or whatever shit. They're mostly all liars, obviously, but goddamn the gaslighting 😂
I messed up my early 20s by dating multiple people. I dedicated so much time for my previous partners that I didn’t even focus on myself. Now at 25, and single for a year, I realized how much time I wasted and I feel way behind and a failure in life. I am just glad I am aware now of my failures. I hope people watch this video because it’s all true based on my experience.
I‘m curious, do you have any tips for people dealing with similar experiences? I feel like I’m losing my identity atm because I got so lost in my current relationship. I love my partner more than anything and we have a healthy bond, but it’s really hard for me to establish anything outside of our relationship and I’m kinda losing myself right now - especially because I recently moved to another city to be with him. Is it even possible to balance a relationship and to also find your own identity/discover who you really are in your early 20s?
The first few years of my 20s were the best years of my life. Now that I'm 26, I'm just trying not to die.
😂😂😂
I feel somewhat the same.
When it comes to friends who have other interests, yes I agree, but it's important to remember that these friends also need to be able to listen about your interests. In my case, it ended up that I always had friends who had different interests than me and they always wanted and shared their interests with me, but they completely didn't care what I was interested in. Years later, I know that it's important to have at least one person with whom you can share that you saw a cool movie, that you have an interesting passion, etc. The fact that you don't have anyone with whom you can share such information is also bad for your mental health in the long run.
Needed to hear this, I'm in a bad place where I don't have anyone to share my interests with. It makes me think that maybe I should cut off this group of friends that I have and just live in the digital world. But the more I thought about it, reading this and listening to this guy, made me realize that it's okay to feel this way and I could somehow meet someone who has the same interests as me while keeping this group of friends
I'm now 28 and wow, even though there's a little under two years left to go I feel like what you discussed was accurate. It's also not a coincidence that mental health problems can really kick into gear in your mid-twenties.
The early life crisis is real
Yup as soon as I turned 25 all of my issues came out. I don't even remembered how I coped. It's such a massive struggle.
@@reptilesgamers00 hey i literally turned 25 a few days ago and im in the exact same situatuon... i feel like i shouldve done things different, getting out more, meeting with girls (what i almost never did) and i feel so depressed about it... how did u handle it?
@@MrDaChekar Still working it out man. Right now just trying to get my career figured out. Seems like $20 an hour is like the new $15 an hour.
Experience wise I feel behind.
Guarantee when you find your mission and purpose in your life the women will come.
For the ultimate "how to with women" look up 3% man. And stay away from red pill
@@MrDaChekar lol 25 here as well, just got out of my first relationship and have been feeling some existential dread, but have gotten somewhat past that.
I am the same as you, things I should have done different and got out more.
But dont let your regrets eat away at you. The only thing you can control is your actions now.
Get your career going if you havent already. Hit the gym regularly or do some kind of exercise. Exercise is the best antidepressant. You will feel better, you will look better and you will be more confident.
As for dating, if you regret not putting yourself out there in the past. It is still not too late. Use dating apps for the most efficient way of meeting potential matches.
I read 12 Rules of Life : An antidote to chaos by Jordan B. Peterson and Dr. Meg Jay's book during the pandemic when I was stuck in Wuhan. I had a mental breakdown from constantly comparing my life to people who were free across the world to pursue their dreams. My life had suddenly come to grinding halt and thought I would not finish medical school with the amount of stress I was experiencing. It was a life-changing experience. I got myself together and finished medical school, made good use of my weak ties for references, worked on a scholarship I had dreamed of getting , won it (The Rhodes Scholarship)and now I will be attending Oxford next fall. It's so phenomenal realizing how much we can achieve when we capitalize on life's unexpected sufferings and adopt meaning from life through taking responsibility for ourselves. I recommend both books!
Proud of you girly!🤍
Wow, you were in Wuhan? That must have been crazy...keep it up. This stuff isn't easy these days, it's not 1960 anymore where you could get a career and partner by 24. It takes 3x the mental energy to position yourself for success for Gen Z, keep up the amazing journey!
Woah inspiring 👏
Can you please share how you prepared for scholarship?
if you blogged or vlogged your experiences i would be totally interested! just this small amount of info is really amazing. congratulations!!
You're incredible!
I lost my teens due to chronic illness. Spent most of my time going in and out of the hospital. I’m currently 21 and had to dropped out college about three times. I’m getting better like really good actually. For the first time in years I feel alive. But sometimes I can’t help to compare myself to others. I know that isn’t fair to myself but I can’t help it.
Hey Aur Im glad your feeling better in your life. I hope this continues for you & you get to always feel alive. I just wanted to say that I used to compare myself also, but I realised that you can’t really compare yourself to others because they’re not you. Your not a malfunctioning Barbie that is made the same as the rest, your made like you, your one of a kind. Nobody is you, nobody is like you, and there never will be another you, with all your own goals, achievements, and even low points that help shape who you are. We are all on our own journey of growth & discovery and comparing yourself to the highlights of other people’s lives and the opportunities that are on their journey only, doesn’t make sense at all. You will do amazing things in your life, you’ve already come so far, trust that. God Bless
Hi
Just know that we all get lost at some point and try to figure out what to do next by comparing ourselves to others. The thing is when it happens just try to remember that they are not you, the more you appreciate yourself the less you’re interested in trying to do what other people are doing
Also congratulations for your health improvement you’ve come a long way
Be blessed and take care 💜
Feel you dealing with the same issues. Hope and pray everything works out in the end!
Watching this in my last year of my 20s…but hey better late than never. Good points in the video and I’m glad you made people feel less alone about being single through your early and mid- 20s. It’s very common and I wish people wouldn’t beat themselves up about it. I didn’t date until I was 25 and it made me feel so insecure, but it was such a waste of time being insecure about it.
forreal, its a big deal to those who havent dated n then once u have it, its like 'oh'
I WISH I didn’t date this I was 25, major waste of emotional effort 😂
@@desireenicole3 😮😮
Turning 29 in April and still never dated.
@@AfroSnackey No issue!
It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish. But, how you start has an immense impact on how you finish so it’s key to nail down how you’re spending your time in your 20s to lay the foundation for the rest of your life. Great video!
Well said!
The steps along the journey. All you have is moment to moment. Throw/shoot to/for infinity. Set incremental goals that build off from an organic desire. Pat yourself on the back and playfully kick yourself in the ass.
In my 20s I went to undergrad and grad school, internship, volunteer, lived abroad (2 countries), multiple odd jobs and small business, improving English as my second and learning Mandarin as my 3rd, learning how to cook, learning to swim and thread in deep end water, learning to trade in financial market, and taking a good care of my health...what I don't have yet : stable career, mortgage and romantic relationship 😂
Dude u can speak 3 languages?!! 🤯 you have so much going on for you right now
@@SamLui in my home country most people are well verse in another 2-3 languages/dialect on top of our mother tongue, so there's nothing special about it though 😜.. I personally think 20s is the best time to flex our brain and physique with as many activities we can, and enjoying the whole process as we grow up.. I probably speak as someone who is quite fortunate to have parents who could afford to give their child as much space to play around and learn things independently - not trying to imply that one has to get permission from parents or guardian to do stuff 😆.. anyway great video Sam!
Is this a subtle flex / humble brag
@@pencil6965 That's how I made the most of my 20s. As you can see, there were things that I have achieved and those I didn't...I was far from perfect but I'm pretty much content with my life as it is...
You can interpret it as brag if that's how you want to see it... I'm sorry if that's the thing that spring to your mind when reading my initial comment. 😉 I was sharing my thoughts and experience in response to the video in addition to learning from what Sam has to say 🙂
Bro that's amazing, I'm 22 and learning Spanish as my 2nd language (my 1st language i learned actually haha) and Tagalog
As a lady in her early twenties & just graduated, this is incredibly encouraging to hear! I’m going through a lot of change (relationships, career, living situation) and this really helped me re-center myself onto what I want for the next few years, which was weirdly comforting. It’s an overwhelming time of my life, so I appreciate hearing this wisdom!
Early 20s here as well, I'll say is also learn how to communicate and talk to people. It can go a long way and even get you into unexpected places. And hit on some self-help books(recommend "never split the difference" and "millionaire fastlane")
So much change is happening in our 20s! We just need to take one step at a time being lost and rediscovering who we are :)
@@martinisawe6300 thank you so much #20'sgang
@@SamLui so true!
@@martinisawe6300 Yes I definitely agree! I'll have to check those books out. I've been reading the 48 Laws of Power (kinda dark book, so take it with many grains of salt) and I've found it helps me as well in communication & tough interpersonal situations.
I mostly travelled and stuff in my 20s. It was good. I'm 29 now and wish to develop some kind of financial security next and live a quieter life.
Sometimes I wish I'd begun to build a career earlier but then I'd not have had the adventures and I never regret those.
It's tough because if you follow your dreams rather than society's plan it is easy to develop fomo and feel that you're not living up to your potential but if you play it safe and start earning and investing you probably wonder what it would've been like to follow your intuition.
Basically life is hard no matter what strategies you try to apply to it. If I do have regrets, one is watching too many videos like this that try to tell me how to live based on someone else's neuroses.
To whomever is reading this: you are wonderful and however you choose to live your life is up to you. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone. Keep your eyes open, stay positive and love each other. The rest is unimportant.
How to make the most of your 20s:
Step 1: *don’t be 20 during a pandemic that stops you from doing literally everything*
Right ! It’s sucks but we will get through it
Bro it's over. Are you going to keep using it as an excuse?
💀💀
Step 2: don't be 20 during a world war
Ugh
Hey there Sam. I'm in my late 40s now, but my 20s literally just seem like yesterday. I remember all the ups and downs probably better than I remember last year TBH lol.
This is a really well thought out and balanced vid. So much so that I just shared it with my teen in the hope that she will think about some of these things now, perhaps, in preparation.
It is true to a large degree that the things we do in our 20s and 30s will shape our life to some extent. But in my experience, also it is important to be mindful of "traps". These, for want of a better word, are the ruts that we can fall into. I'll be honest - when the career takes off , and the partner finally comes into the mix to the extent that you both become like two trees growing intertwined, the plot begins to thicken. Add to this a house, a mortgage and beautiful wonderful life changing little children (who rapidly become bigger self automated and incredible young adults!) and suddenly it can get overwhelming. Those things I mentioned are not the traps by the way. The traps are the coping habits that we form because of the stresses of life. These habits, especially if not identified early, can undermine so much of the potential to enjoy all the splendors that come our way. I don't say this to put clouds over a sunny day. My point is that each of us as a person will at some point face decisions, later in life about how we choose to respond to situations that seem unavoidable. Yes - our 20s and the decisions we make then are important, but as we grow, it's also so important to understand that the way we learn to cope and react to "life" is just as important, and can be just as transformational. You seem a very mature young man for you age. If you had the time and inclination to read this, I'm very grateful and I hope it gets you thinking more about "outlook on life" and it's potential effects. Might even be a vid in there ;)
You seem to have a lot of wisdom and experiences. Any advice for a mid 30 man who is looking for a relationship and marriage.
What a great and insightful comment, Phill! I always appreciate it when older viewers leave comments like these on my videos. I definitely need to consider what my 'traps' are and get back to you guys on that ;)
This was illuminating thank you for writing this comment
This was such an insightful comment! Being able to “cope” with life issues/challenges are sooo crucial to seeing the light!
I love this advice . Thank you!
just turned 20. didn't realise how i got from 17teen to 20 :( especially in quarantine
Time flies!
Turning 20 in March and I also was 17 at the beginning of quarantine. It doesn't feel real, lol. Kind of sad and scary how fast time flies but also really cool to see how much you've grown those three years !
True. Im 20 too. It feels like we stack on being teen.
Turning 20 in March. I’ve done a good amount of things and challenged myself and made some money! Also taking in university right now and I’m going into year 3 next year. I’m growing slowly and I know I’m so much more knowledgeable now than I was back when I was 17. Turning 19, I decided to learn as much as I can this year and I’m already so much more knowledgeable. Became great at guitar, drove a pea combine and grew plants in the summer, started watching more tv shows when I had time, got a girlfriend, ace my classes in university, learned to water ski, and started listening to podcasts which made me informed about astronomy, philosophy, and politics. Only good things to come :). I’ve been too tough on myself recently and always forget to see how great I have it. We’ll be good!
I'm still in 17
28 now but a myriad of sometimes crippling depression, anxiety, and being officially diagnosed with adhd at 25 made me feel like I wasted a lot of my 20s because I was mentally absent for a lot of it, especially ages 24-27. I’m trying to mend this now because I’m waking up to how absent I’ve been and want to make changes, but to say I’m no longer struggling would be a big fat lie.
I'm in the same boat Clarissa, I was diagnosed with ADHD and SLD at 26 (currently I'm 28). Take one day at a time and focus just on yourself instead of what anyone else is doing, it will make things 10 times easier! Good luck.
This is so true. I thought I'm the only one who feels this way. So happy to know that there are many others who feel insecure and depressed in their 20s. As for me, i feels like day by day passes without me accomplishing anything. Im just afraid that i just wasted my youth also i havent found my life partner yet, my income also not stable and feeling depressed whenever seeing my peers gotten married and have kid. But seeing all the comments giving me reliefs that we are all struggling in our life especially in the 20s. So i hope we can all survive this life and just do whatever life can offers us. Cheers
I’m a 16 year old sophomore in high school and I came across this video. I didn’t do good in school during freshman year because of covid and I was suicidal and now I’m turning my life around and trying to fix my mistakes and better my life. My grades are improving even tho I feel like I’m behind :)
Broo stay strong I messed up my Alevels here in the uk aswell covid messed us all up but remember there are so many skills that could be learned outside school, I developed a Jew interest in programming and electronics now I’m soo good at . Who would’ve thought. So use this as an opportunity to explore new things outside the circle that you could even be better at
Relax, enjoy high school. I was in the same situation as you except I didn’t have this information and I ended up graduating. Just please don’t date, take my word for it. It can put you behind mentally and academically. I would say learn what a healthy relationship is first.
You will do well, keep it up.
Dude LISTEN TO MY ADVICE
You can potentially set up a very very nice life by just maintaining good grades. If you can graduate with a 3.0-3.5+ gpa you can get into colleges a lot easier. If you graduate with a low gpa you’re permanently making your chances of getting into college a LOT lower.
I told myself that grades didn’t matter because after I graduate... gonezo. I changed my mind and now I live with my grades I earned. A reminder that slacking while depressed makes things worse and you have to do the bare minimum at least to get by so you’re not making your situation worse.
Things will get better. They’ll even become awesome. Beauty of life can flood your senses, and you can feel joy. I promise.
The only things that really mattered from high school was having good enough grades to get into the school you want- don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get things figured out now, you’ll be just fine!
Introspection is what save me. I know who I am at the end of the day and can enjoy the moment as I slowly try to live up to that identity. I am simply a janitor at the moment because there is no field I have ever had passion in. No degree stood out to me. Didn't go to college. I am 21 and just working towards a small goal of becoming a supervisor. Now all these creative call outs are calling to me. I can see what I genuinely want to do. Create some type of art. Produce something to enduce feelings, make people happy. Now my depression faded because that's all that matters to me. I can void all my anxiety, worries about being behind in life because I just gotta start working to complete my own goals. I've learned to love myself as well, working a bottom barrel job in solitude. I've been through religous trauma, picked with and suffered through social isolation and it's fading away. I've never had a relationship either and now after embracing myself I can see myself finding someone that's actually fit for my dreams. I'm open, just need to make friends, do some artistic endeavors, my lifes set :')
I'm in the same path my friend I feel you 100% ♡
So happy for you...it's all about the mindset
Seeing this video in my 30s 🤡 Good luck to y’all younglings
Its not too late!!
i think youre still young
You’ve got this! I’m sure you have a lot of great insight you’ve gained over the years!
30 is NOT old! ✌🏼✌🏼
You’re still young asf love
i love how our generation is self aware
Well…. not all of us sadly 😅
@@nbisho01 True! Absolutely true
It's only my opinion against yours but I'd like to chime in.
If you believe our generation is more self aware than the previous ones, I'd say you're severly misguided. I'm a late millenial, and if anything, I remember the times where you wouldn't keep your nose on your screen 24/7 and actually spend time thinking. People get anxious when letting themselves think nowdays. Hence why some talk about "showerthoughts" it's the only time where people actually peel their eyes off the screen. Were people smarter back then ? Not at all. But they were more aware of what was going on, especially in a social environment, that's for sure.
I think you find the modern generation as more "self aware" because when expressing some basic human concepts, those seems extremely thoughtful to you when they're actually pretty obvious, you just never took the time to actually fully realize these concepts. if anything I'd argue that there's never been a moment in history where herd mentality was more prevalent than now with social media.
That being said this video gives good advice, but the key takeway here is that there is no optimal way to live your life. Just make sure you're living your own, not passively participate in someone else's
@@Sweyn_Nero well our generation is also gifted to a wide access of knowledge like this video, which may seem like basic info but for me without present parents its quite soothing. Im not disagreeing with you, but im js. Self awareness is more than staying present in social situations, that may be good for our social identity but not exactly self awareness in the sense of knowing your strengths weaknesses and emotions, etc, whatever, if anything this video seems to address the notion that we have to BE self aware in some bullshit way of knowing what we want as a career like come on dude
I am using my 20s to enjoy my childhood! I had to grow up fast so it’s never too late to spoil love myself. Also at the same time building my future the life I create :)
I’m 21. That bit about how if you’ve never dated someone you might feel undesirable hit hard. I realized this a bit two years ago and ever since then I’ve been trying to learn how to love myself. I think I’ve made a LOT of improvement in that area and since then my dating life has been slightly better. But I’m still not all the way there.
Anyway thank you for the video. I am going to take a lot of this advice into account for my 20s. The love thing is something I kinda agonize over when I’m home alone late at night but a lot of the career stuff is stuff I’d never thought about so it is good to hear!
Love is hard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ try to not be too hard on yourself!
I'm going to turn 20 next mothe and I've also never dated anybody or ever felt this need but everything is always questioning me so much about this as if it's a huge problem. I've already learned how to love myself since 2019 and I just think that people should mind their own business
I'm 22 turning 23 in a few months. Need to watch this whole vid
As a 17 year old, thank you. This was very eye opening. I've been feeling pressure to figure out what I'm passionate about since I started high school. I'm going to be proactive about job shadowing and internships now. I feel like I should read that book now because I feel like it'll stick more if I do.
Nothing could ruin your 30s more than childhood trauma and related stuff. So enjoy your 20s.
Yes that is true ! I heal my childhood trauma and i can live happy now at 25 ! If you need therapy and help go and get it is power !
Αντρέας Σωτηρίου I 20s were perfect, well on paper at least. And sometimes we think we are done with the childhood needs... since we have accomplished a lot. It strikes... So enjoy your 20s.
@@eduardochavacano The thing is that trauma in our life must be healed in order to live healthy so what i want people to know is that is possible to heal anything ! Just speak to someone and there is a solution a light in everything ! God bless !
I’ve seen you before. I made a comment somewhere about being 18 and feeling lost and you commented on it. I’m 20 now and nothing’s changed lol.
@@arrietty1619 Well, are you adjust your life in something ? What are you striving for ? Pray to God. And Insist on something. Good things happen when you try.
At 58, my life became a lot easier when I realized that everything is about harmonious relationships and being positively effective in an organization, any organization. When I stopped looking at other people as "the enemy" and began working on my own communication skills, having an attitude of grattitude and "how can I be of service?" rather than "what's in it for me?", things improved.
The Defining Decade is the best ever!! I make an effort to read it every year around my birthday. Halfway through my 20s and hopefully doing it right
Right on!
I totally agree with knowing what's your intention when getting into a relationship or looking for a job. It really helps you set a point in mind that would help you remind yourself why did you enter this kind of relationship or why did you took this kind of job. When I first have my first job as a Customer Service Representative, I don't really have a clear intention on why did I grabbed that opportunity, while I can just work based on my degree or using my talent, but as I grew older and as I get work experience I got to that point that I've been asking myself that question "what's my intention?". So yeah its kinda helpful but ofcourse there's still some aspects that that question won't be able to answer.
I am in my mid 20s and I recently quit my job because I was not happy at where I was and what I was doing. I knew deep down this is not I am supposed to do. I got my family very angry for quitting and my mom reminds me once in a while that I should not have done it. I literally have very few people who support me. Now I am sleeping better, taking care of my body better, building new habits, working on my mental state, learning new things and following a path to achieve a dream. Lot of uncertainties, financial crisis, low points and high points, productive days, Days I don't want to get up. Sometimes I will just cry on my own and let it go. Creating things from scratch, relearning a lot of things that I even learned in school. The list never ends. But for some reason, I feel like I am learning more than I ever have in my life. I don't know where this is going. All I know is I am not stopping anywhere soon.
Aaayyyy what a milestone to have your first sponsored video! Great discussion of the book, Sam. I especially like the reminder of keeping weak ties in mind and always be learning. I want to reread it now!
Weak ties are where it’s at!
Yeah I'm learning this hard lesson now. I was told in my twenties "don't worry, take your time", and now I've made some choices in my twenties that will live with me for the rest of my life.
I also spent my twenties recovering from a traumatic childhood so now I'm spending my 30s for covering for my twenties.
@@whatamidoingw.mylife5882
It seems you are lacking in the necessary courage and mental equipment to approach life.
I'm 29 and next year I will be 30 so for me during my early 20's I had mental issues. Now, I am doing therapy to better myself and love myself first and it is teaching me to be a better person as a single woman.
We're in the same boat. I was scared and worried that I was nearly reaching to 30s. But I feel behind.
As a person in his early 20s(specifically 22) I have digest alot of self-help books, learning 2 languages(Spanish and Tagalog), been going out and talking to strangers, learning how to apply for a job, negotiate for families, learn how to cook and hit the gym (I kinda sound pretty cocky haha) Though i do have challenges, like when I was 18 I did had an identity crisis which a friend from Chile helped me alot. Having to get a Facebook community, friends and family how to get over my "self-doubt" to get a job, and even ask workers/managers how to get over fear and Struggling with getting a ride. Even though what I say is a pretty depressing, atleast I can manage to get over theses obstacles and find solutions
For someone who's going to be soon 21 in the next 4 months, after 3years of gap after school to focus on my mental health, it sometimes feels nerve wracking to restart at 21, where most of them graduate by that time, and at least knew what they want or how they life's gonna look like, makes me wonder what this life is really gonna look like for me in my mid and late 20s & 30s puts me in a bunch of rollercoaster emotions!!
Hey lets be friends!
Ur not restarting at 21. Ur starting babe! Im graduating soon w my associates and i turn 21 in may. Im still just as clueless. Youll be great
Thanks for the encouragement,I appreciate it also I'm turning 21 this July!!and congrats to you for graduating soon.
@@247werewolf okay
Don't worry man. Think that there are people that they went directly to college with no reasons and now they feel lost with no job🙌 after my experience i advice always to take gap years after school
I’m in my mid 30s (retired early with kids) and made the best of my 20s, with plenty of mistakes along they way. Please don’t waste your 20s! It’s the best foundation years of your life. Totally right on the compounding Sam - investing 10 years early can mean 2x the nest egg at 65!
love the point you made about realistic goals. I feel like some people may take that sentiment the wrong way and feel offended, but it's true. i initially pursued finance but i realized i never cared to learn in any of my finance classes and math isn't really one of my strong suits. although finance positions make great money, i will most likely not pursue any finance roles.
Hey, I am also interested in finance career. I am not good at maths but i found the finance lectures very interesting (studying marketing bachelor right now). I am stuck a bit, I dont feel smart enough for finance, but I feel like I am not quite interested in any other field.
This is so insightful for some who turned 20 this year! Really appreciate this one!!😊
So glad this helped!
Because of the way i grew up and living with severe depression for many years, i didn't really grow as a person through adolescence to the degree most people do, so as a result i feel like i have the mental maturity now of like a 16 year old. I'm 21 now, so i *need* to use my 20s as if it were my first adolescence, lots of learning through constant exposure and experience.
I didn't know what to do in my 20s, so I outsourced that to Uncle Sam, spent the first 5 years of my 20s in the navy, working really hard and traveling around the world. Worth every single minutes.
Did you go to college after military? Plz tell me you did
I'm in my late 20s and I think I'm going through a huge identity crisis in two aspects I thought I had under control. First my relationship: I've been with my boyfriend for 8 years and now I feel I don't love him anymore, I don't know why. I've already told him, and it looks like we're going to break up. Which I'm so afraid of, because as an introvert it's difficult for me to meet new people.
Then my career: earlier this year I reached a peak. I passed a public examination to become a secondary school teacher, which is what I wanted to be since I was a teen, but now I feel I have nothing else to do with my life. The fact that maybe I'll be doing the same exact thing all my life makes me feel so empty and scared. I guess I'm more ambitious than I thought, that's why I passed those exams so early in life (most people I know don't pass them until they're in their 30s or 40s).
Anyway, I think I'm going through the quarter life crisis. And I'm telling you because I feel so lost for the first time in my life. Before, I always knew what I wanted, and the hard part was getting it. But now I don't know what I want so I can't do anything to get it. I'm seeing a therapist, but for some reason sharing my problems with strangers is so helpful, that's why I wrote that. And I'm not a native English speaker, so sorry about my grammar.
Keep going your doing great, and trust your instincts,for me my life is really unpredictable right now ,cause I dropped off the college for 3years cause I was mentally unstable and restart again at 21 this year, it's crazy not knowing what this life is really gonna look like for me where everyone graduates by this age and know what they're gonna do.and also I've never been in a relationship so as far as I could say if you feel like you don't love your boyfriend anymore it's better to rethink and think about breaking up cause your not only hurting yourself but also your boyfriend but it's better to focus on yourself for the moment.hope it helps from a random stranger! 😊
Seems like you need new goal
Hey I'm in a similar boat as you, and I think we are def not alone. On the one hand, I took a couple extra years to get a degree in eng, and took a boring job because I was afraid I would be passed on for my grades. However, the extra money I've earned has allowed me to get interested in a couple new hobbies like woodworking, this might be something helpful for you. When some people say, find your passion outside of work, I simply have to disagree. I spend over half my day busy because of my job (and I usually only sleep 6 hrs!!), I'm not going to rest until I find a job that I can get excited about everyday. I'm actively working on a fancy circuit right now to put on my resume to get the electronics job I would like. This also gives me some purpose.
On the other hand, I haven't been on a date in 2 years, and have some roommates that are fine but I cannot/do not want to call my friends, and only friends back home who I can really call true friends. I'm hoping to explore this domain more once I can hopefully find the right job in a few months and move off. I hope things for you improve. Has therapy helped? I have considered it. Also what country are you from? Your english is excellent
@@Jarrettmonty99 How are you doing four months later?
I only went to a few therapy sessions, and it helped me with my relationship: I was looking for the right answer, whether staying with my boyfriend or breaking up, and through therapy I understood there wasn't a right answer, and made me realise that whatever I chose everything was gonna be okay. So I chose to break up with him. About my career, my therapist gave me the same advice you mention: finding a passion outside my job. I wasn't convinced by that back then, but I guess she was right, as I actually love my job as a teacher. My job is not the problem, the problem was my mindset of wanting to keep getting promotions.
I'm from Barcelona. My English is good, but I sometimes mess up when trying to explain complex ideas.
If there emotional maturity is less than your emotional maturity then they are not a good fit for you - golden advice I've picked from this video ❤️
Spend my 20s partying, travelling the world and doing what I wanted. Lived with my mum the whole time. Now I’ve grown out of partying and I’m starting a company that would have been impossible hadn’t it been for the experiences I had in that time. Meanwhile my mates who spent their 20s working constantly are all downsizing their jobs because they feel like they’ve wasted their lives… they now want to go out partying and travelling but the boat has sailed and now they are too old, tired and tied down to experience being truly free and young. Your 20s is about thinking you know it all and knowing fuck all.
that last line is hitting a little close to home haha
Everything is easy when you have money
I'm 25, I'm so afraid of not learning. I wasted a lot of time due to depression, anxiety, overthinking and addiction.
I haven't really learned any skills. Jeez! I'm so scared.
Sounds like you learned a lot of life skills overcoming all of those issues ! I think learning to care of our own mental health might actually be one of the most important life lessons and the foundation we need to build a happy life on.
Yes, life is scary sometimes but not any scarier than the shit our brains get up to ;)
So I had spent my younger part of my life chasing after me cos I was so frightened by the fact that I don’t know who I am. I don’t regret anything, whether whatever happened caused me depression & relationship scarring or set backs.Just let the pursuit continue. Don’t fault yourself if you’ve ever not always been on the path to “success” cos it’s still priceless experience. Internal resource that will get you where you wanna be! 26 now & honestly immensely thankful to my younger self. Suffered a severe disillusionment from a breakup & went thru 2 jobless years to get to where I am but I made it to the career path of my choice, my mind is extremely clear on what I want now, actively building that bank & I now deeply know my worth as a woman/ life partner potential! Keep pressing in peeps
I'm 21 and I'm on a software dev grad scheme at an amazing company but I've been feeling a bit lost lately. This video was super helpful and inspiring to me, I'm definitely gonna read The Defining Decade. Thank you Sam!
Dude you’ll be fine😂
Keep going.
As a graduate i feel like I don't know where i go.
And now decided to read more about that type of books hopefully with my interaction with the real world, i could find my passion.
Thank you! Yes I’m also figuring it out along the way!
My biggest regret in my 20s was hustling for work. It was a total waste of time and I missed out on so much. Time flew by way too fast. It would be a shame to miss out on all that tight 😽 Spend your free time studying then just go have fun. The time studying will pay dividends. And the older that you get, the harder it is to make new friends as people get busy with work and family. The key point is to just have fun.
To someone who is in their early 20’s trying to figure out a life path- this has been super helpful compared to other videos i’ve watched! thank you✨
24, but still feel 23. Matter of fact, I still feel 21 😅 Age is just a number. It’s all energy. “Youth” is a state of mind. Tap in. A huge blessing to simply be a live.
You're spot on about the point about loving yourself, loneliness can be crippling but it's the only time you can think hard about how you want to grow as a person
It's such a weird balancing act to know when you're really 'ready'
I'm 22 and so far my most amazing experience has been volunteering, i lived two months in a foreign country and met amazing people from all over the country, volunteering is so so meaningful and i wish i could experience that again but because of covid and my graduation from uni, i will be entering the workforce and i don't think i can do this anymore...maybe one day, i hope.
I will focus more on my mental and physical health, as well as traveling more and more 😍
I am about to hit 30 so I've stumbled on this a bit late, but now I know I could have not made some serious mistakes had I just had someone alert me to it seriously early on. Kudos to all those in their 20s looking into how to live better already!
I don’t know how I came across this but I needed to hear it. The way you express yourself is also on point, you made everything sound exactly as it is.
Bullshitting in my 20s was a good time. I actually miss it.
I hustled hard in my 20's. Semi retired at 27. Tried to do everything right. I could never take a break. I wanted it all. (Materialistic)....
Then once I got it it never made me happy at all.....kinda sad. I think I rather the journey more then destination. 20s wasent not totally wasted......I now learned to slow down more and enjoy the moment. God bless
This is literally the best video I have seen so far from you Sam! I love the fact that you present your information well and do a lot of research! I agree with you that your 20s are really the "second adolescence" and that they are made for discovery, trial and error and also surprises! Sometimes it can be difficult to keep positive during our twenties because we begin taking on more responsibility for our choices, but that doesn't have to bring us down. Instead we should, as you say, be looking for new connections, taking the time to get to know potential partners well and understanding more about who we are and who we vibe with the most. Another thing is that we fear taking the plunge into a new field even if everyone you know has always identified you with a certain subject! Life isn't about labels but about being enriched by as many experiences as you can! :)
My approach has been to stop and really assess what my values are. You need to ask yourself if you actually WANT the nice house, nice car, prestigious job, spouse, 2.5 kids. I spent 20-26 going through the motions just doing what I thought was expected of me, aiming for the same goals as seemingly everyone else. But I never even wanted the things I was working toward. I've left corporate life and now work seasonal jobs traveling in an RV, it's not without its struggles i.e. BIG pay cut, being 1,500 mi away from my support system, but I'm the happiest I've ever been and now have very little anxiety about "getting it right"
Thanks for your wholesome video! I'm in my early 20s, I feel indeed lost and vague, thanks to you I can get some guides to clarify my mind.
Keep up your good workkk
Thank you!
My childhood to 20s was the most hellish experience I have ever had in my life. Near death, abuse, depression, anxiety, suicidal, and addiction. It wasn’t the brightest time of my life. I thought I’d probably die during those days, but here I am, still alive. 😂
The only thing I would comment on is the idea of "Why would someone else love you if you don't love yourself?" - It's kind of toxic because other people can see things in you that you yourself dont see and might be attracted to that. The issue is however if you don't love yourself then you will very likely use rely on your partner for validation which can be very tiring for them and does not result in a healthy relationship dynamic.
It’s a balancing act - I agree. I think we all need some level of self-respect though when it comes to any relationship
I'm not 20 yet I'm really far from that age, but I'm always worried about what happens to me in the future, thank you for this video it makes me feel at ease
My goodness if ur not even close to 20 u should not be worrying about it!! Enjoy your life!
Great video! I’m in my 20s so this is so helpful, the book she wrote “The defining decade” is a interesting read, highly recommend!
Thanks you! I’m glad this vid was helpful :)
I am a really hard worker (but employed in a dead end job), i've been working since i was 19 to achieve my own indipendence (plus studing/side hustle) and one day i hope i can start my own business. Back in the past i had a bad time in the college so i left it. I was kinda introvert so i could'nt really fit into a relationship or even just socializing. Furthermore, in my mind, "waiting" so many years to get a job was making things even worse. Right now i am less sad cause i kinda know where i am going, but many young people (just like me cause i am 23) are having a lot of fun and lot of free time while i am working hard as hell, plus i don't even know how to "slow down", i couldn't handle my life without such that great income and it it just feels great to be productive. I just hope i will have fun in my 30s, or at least more indipendence
I'm 24. Haven't even reached the mid point of my 20's yet. I focused on getting a job that paid very well (nursing) and now I live a minimalist lifestyle with not a lot of expenses. Basically I have a shit ton of money at my disposal. I learned spanish to a very high level. I became a licensed skydiver. I started traveling internationally. All of which I did in this last year. And now after years of suicidal depression I've fallen in love with life.
And my biggest problem is that I hate my job! I hate hospital culture. I hate the mistreatment I receive from my bosses and almost half of my patients. I dread going into work. But, I provides me the literal life of my dreams. If I could I would spend my life working 3 months and then traveling for the other 9 months. I could afford it too. But no company would hire me if I did. This entire business network has us trapped. Returning endlessly for more labor even when we have more money than we need! I'm at a crossroads now. And I genuinely don't know what to do.
I just have no desire to work 11 months out of the year to enjoy the final 1. Fuck that life. I made my good decisions, I made my money, I'm not a slave. Let me work when I need more money and not when you need more workers.
I’ll turn 25 on February 25th. Just graduated university last year and currently have a stable job, but I feel kind of stuck... architecture has always been my passion but I feel like I need more time to get to know myself more and exploring new hobbies, so on my free time I try to do more yoga or going for a jog...
Thanks for the video, I think I needed to hear this stuff today because I had the exact thought of "Am I unloveable?" (21, never dated anyone). It's interesting you point out the failure of couples who cohabit before marriage is down to the *cirumstances* of the relationship that cause cohabitation, not the cohabitation itself. Also, videos like this give me comfort because I'm not someone who's into drinking, partying or taking drugs and my idea of fun is going to an amateur theatre group or going to museums with friends. I need things that give me joy and stimulate my brain. I'm glad to have found friends who feel the same way and I finally have somewhere to fit in. I tried the "Starbucks phase" when I was 19/20, before I even got to college, and while in some ways it was awful and I couldn't hold down any menial job for more than 3 months, it gave me time to decide what to do. And all my relationships are important - I don't write people off because I know someone seemingly unimportant could be a great help one day.
First, after watching your video and second, reading the comment section, i feel more reassured since i have lately experienced a crisis at my 25's. In late times, i have stated a gap between me and the other people who were already engaged, or people who would go out at night with close friends, people who would travel etc. I have been told these many things like "why don't you travel?" coming from a 80's generation guy, "my sister who's your age goes to club. Don't spend your 20's", "for a 25 year old person, you are very mature", "why are you so organized with your life? You are still young", "why are you still not married?" I keep facing this kind of questions which made me doubt about me and because of what i unecessaliry risen problematics of *if i am doing things right or if i am spending my 20's for nothing* . It has actually made me feel like i was not "normal" and stressed me out. However, the retrospection on myself has given me clarity and some answers to these existential questions: i am 25 and i feel safer with organizing my life since i respect my own time. I don't go out at night because i don't have that bunch of friends to go with + sport and learning makes me feel more productive and happier. I am not married because i have not met the one. I started to work at my 22's because i wanted to develop skills and experiences that i can use as great tools in a new job before my 30's (anticipation + identity capital construction), so i can live an independant and happy life. In other words, we cannot blame ourselves for things we cannot control or opportunities that were not presented to us. But we can work for new things to come while living a peaceful and exciting life. The key is to balance both sides.
So, to summarize: You make the most out of your 20s if you act with reason. Reasoning comes from your beliefs and values to make good decisions and not waste your 20s. Two major areas are work and love. The way you build your belief and value system is with building your identity, which you will get from diverse experiences (identity capital).
That's the gist of it (at least what I think), the video summarizes some important decisions you make and how this all applies.
Perfect video to watch before I turn 19 next week 🎂 thank you so much Sam, gotta subscribe for rest of 20s and 30s 💙
I actually enjoyed this. I'm currently in my 20s, and I could relate being different because I'm pursuing my goals AND not pursuing relationships, and indulging in hook-up culture. Your explanations were really concise and I learned a lot.
Best point: be intentional.
I'm 23 years old and I started to earn money since I was 17 years old. This really enlighten me and gives me advise , thanks by the way.
Thank you for watching 😊
I'm 19 and almost going to turn 20, starting to invest early is so important👌🏼 Also knowing how to spend time alone is so key, but no man is an island, find a balance ! I wish everyone here the best in their careers and relationships.
Too late for me then I guess. I'm 29 now on my way out, but I suppose I should look at it as a good thing. My 20's has easily been the most miserable experience of my life with so much anger, depression, and self hatred going on. I hope to be able to fix this in my 30's. I always go by the saying, "Better late than never."
I think in our 20s we should focus on learning as much as we can. More so than making money and investing, focus on reading history and learning more about human behaviour. Why we behave the way we do. In a sense studying self. Developing a proper mental frame work to take on life and learning to live competently. This set of skills help us become a better adult.oney aside which can be earned over time, it's good not to be swayed by investment gurus or media personalities. Cuz you will always have another good opportunities on the future to invest. Just make sure to take good care of your self and keep on learning. Take your time and experiment.
My 20s was spent figuring out what was wrong with me and then fixing it. Now I'm in my 30s and don't want to waste any more of my life
Kuya Saaaaam! I wished I had these foresight during my early 20's so I am sure many are learning from these now and you are saving them from making tons of mistake. I totally agree that we should spend our 20s to maximize learning potential and I guess to get to know yourself more. +20 points on making sure you love and value yourself 1st before you go and looking for others to love you because there will always be times that you will be alone and if you dont love yourself ...gg!!
Thanks for your shortform code I created an account and reading a book now!! I am glad you got a sponsor -- more sponsors!!! Cheers.
Thank you Edmund!!
@@SamLui wait. Are you a Filipino? 😲
@@random-accessmemory9201 lol nope
😂
I'm not even 18 years old yet(barely graduated high school) but i'm worrying so much, thank you for your great video!
It's easier when you are younger for sure!! But it's never too late, I'm in my 37s now and I remember my head was in the clouds all the time during my 20s, can't change the past now! But I can make it up for my coming forties 😊
Interesting video, I need to read this book! One part I disagree with is that we need to love ourselves before anyone else can love us. Of course you don’t want to be completely reliant on a partner for self worth/identity, but I have plenty of friends who I adore who don’t alway see themselves the same way I see them. I know plenty of people in relationships who struggle with their self image. Of course there’s a level where it will affect your relationships but I also feel like I didn’t ALLOW myself to get into a relationship when I was younger because I needed to “figure everything out with myself first” - and the reality is that it is an ongoing struggle for many people / needing to be “perfect” before being loved isn’t really the best message
I agree w this! Something I haven’t quite figured out though is what amount of self respect is actually ‘enough’ to be in a relationship 🤔 nonetheless self love is still important but having that someone who supports u and validates u can be incredible:)
Turning 19 this year, and I am so glad there are people like you and I’ve also met some great proffessors as well. Great video! New sub🤞🏽😊
You are so informed, logical and also emotional smart I am very grateful for this video! Thank you
I’m not 20 yet but I’m turning 18 in a few months. Transitioning into that “adult stage” It’s interesting to hear what older people have gone through. And how I can learn through their experiences. Thanks for sharing this video.
I'm 21, never had a job and I'm getting one soon, I'm planning on moving out of my parent's asap and it's honestly terrifying the prospect and hurdles of moving forward in life, I really don't wanna waste my life but I'm apprehensive I'll just fuck everything up
Same 21 too. But you’ll fuck up, it’s necessary for growth.
@@adio8824 I plan to, that's where the growth is at
I’m 21 and have finally felt a little more confident in my decision, choosing to improve my Mandarin at Soochow University. I want to go into the Education industry but right now this feels right for my path. I also want to use this slightly freeer time to learn the things I didn’t get to as a child. To ride a bike, to swim, to get back into Dance, etc. And the second growth spurt thing has inspired me to believe in myself but like right the fuck now while I’m going through this second growth spurt 😅☺️
haha don't try to stress missing the growth spurt too much. Id take things as they go!
As someone who graduated last year, this video is so helpful! Also you’re doing so well with views/subscribers after only having your channel for a couple of years ☺️
Hey....I just turned 30 today and youtube recommends this to me 😂, along with Google wishing me happy birthday in the morning.
Blessed birthday, may God bless u and increase u in ur life.
our brains keep growing. and we keep learning.
Man the little smile after he said, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is priceless!
Crazy to see you get sponsors! the growth of your channel is insane :) Congrats!
Couldn't have done it without you!
I wish someone would have told me these things when I was in my 20s. I'm already in my 30s now but I still have no idea which direction I should take.
Building identity capital!
You're never too late to do many things in life
Thank you, Sam, for making this video. I’m in my 20s and been trying to figure out things in my life. I overthink a lot about myself, my purpose, love, work and studies. Your video made me think to start something new and stop things I need to stop now. I’ll recommend this vid to my friends or anyone in their 20s having the same thoughts as mine😍😎🍕
More power to you, Sam!
Btw, new subscriber here 🇵🇭😍
Actually there is some researches that tell as that learning not become harder with age... sorry that I don't leave a link here, but to prove a little my point: 1 - learning strategies that kids don't know but adults can find(I just hope that people know that does it mean "google") and use, 2 - knowledge that new neurons forming during our life(from that research), which mean some adults don't really wanna learn couse it is easier just sit on sofa and watch some sitcom, it is comfortable. Learning something new is painful sometimes
If that research is right, that’s a great thing! It means people have limitless potential to grow and change, regardless of their age!