This has to go on my 'top 5 Islamic lectures of all time' especially in terms of relevance. May Allah bless this brother and his family and the entire team behind this lecture.
﷽ Rasulullah ﷺ said, إن في الإنسان مضغة إذا صلحت صلح الجسد كله، وإذا فسدت فسد الجسد كله ألا وهي القلب - There's a piece of flesh in the body, if it becomes good, the whole body becomes good, if it becomes bad, then the rest of the body will become bad." This piece of flesh that controls the rest of your body is your heart. [05:37] Three types of hearts in general per scholars 1. Qalbul saleem: pure/clean heart. Free from any passion, any lust that goes against the commands of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى, stays away from His prohibitions. As a result of this, it loves what Allah loves, it hates what Allah hates. This heart sticks to the Quran and Sunnah. 2. Dead heart: does not know Allah or worship Him. Clings to its' lusts and desires. As a result of this the heart is dead, doesn't have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. It is like a dead leaf which goes wherever the wind takes it. To associate with such a person is like playing with fire, it is destruction. Prophet ﷺ said that a man is upon the deen of his companion. You tempt his illness when you associate with him. 3. Heart that is neither alive/pure, or dead: Heart that moves between dedication to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and at the same time has inclinations to follow its' lusts and desires. It is between safety and destruction. [11:07] Causes of the diseases of the heart Surrounding yourselves in a situation with temptations, with whims and desires causes diseases to develop in your heart. Abu Hurairah RA narrated that Rasulullah ﷺ said that Indeed when a believer commits a sin, a black dot appears on his heart. If he repents and abandons the sin and seeks forgiveness, then his heart will be polished and that black dot will be removed. But if he increases in sin, the blackness increases. Rasulullah ﷺ said that this is the covering which keeps going and going until it covers your heart. This is the covering which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى mentions in the Quran, "كَلَّا ۖ بَلْ ۜ رَانَ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِم مَّا كَانُوا۟ يَكْسِبُونَ - But No! On their hearts is a covering because of all the evil they used to commit." (Surah Al-Mutaffifin 83:14). Because of our sins, the darkness piles onto our heart, and when the heart becomes black, it begins to become diseased. And if we don't treat our heart when it becomes diseased, it will kill our hearts, and then we won't be able to tell between truth and falsehood. To get rid of the black spot, we need to abandon the sin and seek Allah's forgiveness. This lecture covers only 3 main diseases of the heart. [14:38] The disease of BACKBITING (Gheeba) A major sin, carries major penalties. A disease that destroys your hearts, will cause you to lose your deeds on the Day of Judgement and be given to someone else. Rasulullah ﷺ defined backbiting, "It is to say something about your brother which he dislikes." A sahaba asked what if what was said was however true? Rasulullah ﷺ replied, "If the defects that you mention about him are true then you've backbitten him, and if they are not true, then you have slandered him." Slander (Buhtan) is even worse. [16:31] Four common excuses people given for backbiting 1. "It's the truth" - Refer to the Hadith above 2. "I will say it to his face"- Doesn't matter, you've mentioned something about your brother which he dislikes 3. "I am not backbiting but.... and mention some of his weaknesses" - You still mentioned his weakness 4. When someone asks about your opinion on someone and you say, "Brother change the subject, I don't want to backbite." - Well you've backbitten him in a roundabout way as you've made it clear that what you will say will not be good. Look how subtle this is. [18:41] Some examples from the time of Prophet ﷺ 1. A man came to Rasulullah ﷺ and testified 4x that he had committed adultery. The first 3 times Rasulullah ﷺ turned his face away from him but after the 4th time, he ﷺ ordered him to be stoned to death. Two companions afterwards started criticizing this person for his sin. Rasulullah ﷺ was walking by a place where there was a dead donkey on the floor. Heﷺ asked those two companions to eat from the flesh. They said who would want to do that? Rasulullah ﷺ said that what they had done was far worse than eating the flesh of the dead donkey, by criticizing the honor of his brother, defaming him. 2. A woman once visited Aisha RA and when she got up to leave, Aisha RA signaled with her hand that this woman was very short. Rasulullah ﷺ said, "O Aisha, you've uttered a word that if it were to mix with the ocean, it would make it impure." This is how serious it is. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى says, " وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ - And do not spy and do not backbite one another, would one of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother, you would hate it." (Surah Hujarat 49:12). 3. On the journey of Isra', Rasulullah ﷺ came across a people with copper fingernails who were tearing their own skin from their face and ripping the skin off their chests. Jibreel AS said that they are being punished because they used to eat people's flesh in their lives, by vilifying their honor. Imam Nawawi said that mentioning about your brother which he dislikes is backbiting, and then he listed these things: what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station/job, physical appearance, moral character, his wealth, parents, children, spouse, servant, clothing, activities, his smilies and his frowns and anything else that pertains to him. The honor of the Muslim is protected by Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى. You can't say anything bad about your brother except in 6 situations (mentioned later). [28:06] Why do people fall into backbiting? 1. Weakness of faith and lack of piety. He doesn't fear Allah with regards of his speech, so this shows his lack of faith/taqwa. 2. To vent his anger against this person 3. Just disliking an individual 4. Self-purification: you yourself are suffering from a problem so you start mentioning that problem about someone else to make yourself feel better 5. To honor or elevate yourself by mentioning the fault of others 6. Jealousy and envy 7. Mocking and joking [31:08] Examples from the salaf Hasan Al Basri, a Tabi' upon hearing someone was backbiting him sent this man a gift and said, "It has reached me that you've given me some of your good deeds. I apologize that I can't give you anything more than this." Some salaf would say that if we were to willfully backbite someone, that would be our parents because they are the ones who have the most right to our good deeds. One salaf said that if it were not for the fact that Allah is disobeyed, I would've wished that nobody in this city remains except that he spoke bad of me, i.e. so I could have their deeds on the Day of Judgement.
[33:08] Seeking a cure for backbiting 1. Reflecting on the speech of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and His messenger ﷺ: Allah says in Surah Qaf (50:18), " مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌۭ - Man doesn't utter a single word except that there's somebody with him to write it down." So when you know whatever you say will be written down, will be presented to Allah on the Day of Judgement, you will have to account for it in front of Allah الزواجل . Prophetﷺ said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, let him speak good or remain silent." Rasulullah ﷺ said that, "When the son of Adam gets up every morning, the limbs of his body speak or call upon his tongue, address his tongue and say fear Allah with regards to us, because we follow you. If you are right, we also go aright, if you go wrong, we also go wrong." So every single morning our tongue is implored by the rest of our body, they say fear Allah with regards to us. 2. Introspection: Busy yourself with your own faults and not the faults of others. Al Hasan al Basri RA said we used to remind one another that whoever finds fault in his brother from an action he's repented from, then Allah is going to punish him by trying him with that very same sin. 3. Keeping righteous company: Prophet ﷺ said that the example of a good friend and a bad friend is like that of the perfume seller and the one who works with metal. So when you are with that person who sells perfume, either he'll give you some or you'll buy some or at the very least, you will leave smelling of that good fragrance. This translates to for example you gaining some knowledge, speaking about Allah, His prophets, companions, Jannah and that increases your Iman. But if you sit with a companion who is bad, he's going to burn your clothes or at the very least you will leave with a foul smell. So keep yourself with good people. 4. Make strong resolve, make dua to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and be determined: One of the salaf said that, "I made an oath that for every single time that I backbit somebody, I was going to fast. But it just wore me out. And then I made an oath that every time I backbite somebody, I am going to spend one silver coin and give that in charity. Since I was losing money, I stopped backbiting." Rasulullah ﷺ said, "There may be a fasting person who gets nothing more from his fast except for hunger and thirst." Scholars would say to not let the day you are fasting be like the day you're not fasting in terms of the way you behave, in terms of your actions, the way you control your tongue. [39:42] What is the expiation of backbiting? Ibn Taymiyyah says that if the one you've backbit against doesn't know then make tawbah to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and the gathering that you were sitting in where you mentioned his faults, where you destroyed his honor, mention some of his good traits/praise this individual. But if this news has reached him then you need to go and seek his forgiveness. Rasulullah ﷺ said whoever has wronged his brother in regards to his honor or anything else like wealth, health, property, children etc, let him seek forgiveness today before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds they will be taken from him to give to the person who he has wronged, and if he doesn't have any good deeds, then some of that person's sins will be placed upon him. [41:50] Cases where backbiting is permissible 1. Complaining about someone's mistreatment in front of a judge, the authorities 2. To identify a person: Ex- a brother gives you some identifying traits of another brother (has a beard, short) in order to be able to find him. 3. Warning about a person: People who are spreading innovation, a thief so people can guard their property 4. Highlighting evil doing: If the sin is open, then there's it's okay to speak openly against it highlighting the sin to warn the people against the sin 5. Seeking a fatwa: speak to a Shaykh regarding the individual who has wronged you to ask for a ruling 6. Seeking help to remove an evil: You ask people for assistance to help you make right a wrong. [44:15] What to do when others are backbiting in the room? Your silence is your approval. You share in the sin of backbiting. Either ask people to change the subject or you talk about something else or get up and leave the gathering. But if you unable to do any of them then at least hate/curse it in your heart for the sake of Allah. [45:54] Disease of SHOWING OFF (RIYA) Rasulullah ﷺ said, "The thing I fear most for you is minor shirk." The companions asked what it was, Rasulullah ﷺ said, "It is Ar-Riya." Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will say to these people on the Day of Judgement, "Go to those people who you showed off your deeds to in the worldly life and see if they have any reward for you this day." Riya is to perform acts which are pleasing to Allah with the intention of pleasing other than Allah, like prayer, fasting. Doing so will get your deed rejected and you will have to face the punishment of Allah. Hadith in Sahih Muslim by Abu Hurairah RA says that the first three people to enter the hellfire on the Day of Judgement will be the man who died as a martyr so that the people could praise him for his bravery, a scholar of Islam who learnt the religion and taught the Quran so people could praise him for his knowledge, a wealthy man who spent in Allah's way so people would say that he's charitable and generous. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will show them His blessing that were given to them and ask what they did for Him, to which they will reply with either I fought in your cause, I gained knowledge for Your sake etc. Allah الزواجل will say that you lie as you did those things to show off to people and then they will be thrown into the hellfire. Prophet ﷺ said, "Whoever shows off, Allah will expose him." Ibn Hajr said, "Whoever does something that is not sincerely for the sake of Allah and he only wants people to see and hear him, he will be punished for that. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will expose him and make known of what he is concealing. It was said that whoever does something to seek the status and prestige amongst the people and not the face of Allah alone, Allah will make him the subject of bad speech amongst the people who he wanted to please." There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and Muslim where Rasulullah ﷺ says that, "Indeed actions are according to their intention, you will have that which you intended." Omar Ibn Khattab RA was walking past a young man, his head was completely bent down. Omar RA said raise your head because the khushu/humility is not in the neck, rather it is in the heart. In a Hadith Qudsi in Sahih Muslim, Prophet ﷺ said that Allah says, "I am so self sufficient that I am not in need of anybody to associate partners with me. Whoever does something for the sake of somebody else besides Me, I will discard him and his associating of partners with Me." Examples include you praying the nafal or sunnah prayer when you are in the mosque but you skip it when you're home, or your posture is excellent in salah at the mosque but barely good at home.
[57:34] Riya affects your worship Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said that showing off affects your worship in one of three ways. 1. It invalidates the act of worship altogether. 2. When riya develops during salah, you try to fight it then inshaAllah your prayer is accepted, but if you don't then your whole of prayer is null and void. 3. If the idea develops after the act is done then this doesn't affect the validity or the reward of the action as that's been completed. Rasulullah ﷺ said that whoever feels happy because of his good deeds and sad because of his bad deeds, he is a believer. So we feel good about our good deeds and feel happy when people praise us but if they didn't praise us, we would still do that deed. [1:03:09] Types of Riya Riya of the body: A person who is weak and thin, people think he's always fasting. Someone speaks in a low tone and a gentle voice so that the people will think mashaAllah he's a zahid, etc. Riya of the outward appearance: When someone puts on clothes to especially signify that they're a scholar so that people will praise him. Riya by a person's speech: constantly reminding and advising other people so people will think that mashaAllah he's a good brother, he knows his Islam. Riya with a person's action: as mentioned above, lengthening prayer, giving in charity so people will praise you. [1:05:39] Why do people show off? 1. Showing off to be able to do haram: Ex- a daee showing off to be able to commit zina. This is most hated by Allah because you are using this act of worship to commit a sin. 2. For some form of worldly gain: Ex- to look good in front of someone's father so they offer their daughter in marriage. Although this action is halal but he used this action to attain something even though its halal. 3. So people won't think badly of him: Ex- a brother prays sunnah in masjid so people don't think badly of him or criticize him. [1:07:37] Signs of someone suffering from Riya 1. Laziness in performing acts of worship when you are alone 2. Reacting to praise: You increase in that good deed when someone praises you [1:08:39] How to seek a cure for riya 1. Recognize that you're suffering 2. Conceal your good deeds from the eyes of the people. A salaf said that the sincere person is the one who hides his good deeds the way he hides his sins. 3. Know about the dangers of riya, it is a hidden shirk. On the Day of Judgement Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will expose you, punish you. 4. Constantly fight your intention: whenever you do a deed, ask yourself who or why are you doing it? Am I doing it for the sake of Allah? Would I do this deed if I were alone? If the answer is yes, then go ahead and perform that good deed. But if it's a no, this means you need to straighten your intention. Some of the salaf said that I did not struggle with anything as much as I struggled with my intention, by Allah, I have been struggling with my intention for thirty years. Shaytaan comes to us and says not to pray your sunnah or don't do the deed because if you did then it will be riya. So do we abandon the deed out of the fear or riya? No. If you fear falling into riya by practicing that deed, take a moment, stop, straighten your intention and then perform that action making sure that it is for the sake of Allah. [1:11:30] The disease of HASAD (ENVY) It is the desire that a cause of happiness leave the person that you are envying and it come to you or it just leaves that person. For example, you see a person with a nice family, car, child, you have this desire that those things leave him and on top of that you may desire that you want that thing for yourself. Rasulullah ﷺ said that, "Envy eats away good deeds as the fire eats away at wood." [1:12:34] What are some of the causes of envy? 1. Enmity or hatred towards someone: You want them to lose the cause of happiness. How corrupt is your heart if when you see a person with a blessing, you become upset 2. Low self-esteem 3. Pride and arrogance: you think some other person did not deserve it. This is what Iblis fell into 4. Love of leadership and status: A person expert in his field when praised, he becomes happy, loves it when people praise him, it gives him motivation, he's suffering from riya. All of this comes down to the impurity of your soul. Ibn Qayyim RA in Zad al-Ma'ad said that the person who is a hasid/filled with envy, he's somebody with a very impure black heart because when a good blessing befalls a person, he gets upset and when a calamity falls on a person, he becomes happy. [1:15:37] Seeking a cure for Hasad 1. Knowledge of the filth of this disease: It destroys your deeds, your akhira. Remember that you are indirectly questioning the decree of Allah الزواجل when you becomes jealous of someone and think that the person did not deserve it. 2. If you feel envy coming into your heart, make dua for that person: "اللّهُـمَّ بارِكْ لَهُ - Allahumma barik lahu - Oh Allah bless him". When you make this dua, the envy is going to leave your heart. 3. Seek refuge in Allah from this envy. [1:17:41] Permissible jealousy (غبطة - gibta) Prophet ﷺ said, "Do not wish to be like a man except in two cases, a man who has been given the knowledge of the book and he recites it during the hours of the night, and a man who has been given wealth and he spends in charity in the hours of the night and day." This is not hasad because that would mean that you want that person to lose the blessing and/or have it be given to you. It is permissible to ask Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى to bless you like He blessed that person without you wanting him to lose that knowledge, that wealth etc. [1:18:52] Conclusion We must pay attention to our heart the way we pay attention to our bodies. The way we rush to seek to a cure for our bodies, we need to rush to seek a cure for the illness of our hearts. There are many other diseases of the heart that include the love of this world, lying, jealousy, miserliness, slander etc. We need to seek a cure for all of these as we are going to stand in front of Allah on, " يَوْمَ لَا يَنفَعُ مَالٌۭ وَلَا بَنُونَ - the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of any benefit" "إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍۢ سَلِيمٍۢ - except for the one who comes with a pure heart" (26:87 and 88). So this is a proof that we need to seek purification of our heart. Ultimately, Allah knows best. May Allah protect us from these diseases of the heart and to give us the heart which is a Qalbun Saleem, a beautiful clean pure heart, a heart upon tawheed, free from any illnesses and any diseases. [1:20:47] Questions: Can you backbite non-believers? Sin of backbiting only applies to the Muslim as per Rasulullah ﷺ, the honor of a Muslim is protected. But we need to be people with high character. We need to be a people instilling goodness in ourselves and giving a good message of Islam to others. And who is to say that once you backbite a non-Muslim, you won't start backbiting your Muslim brother. So we need to try and close the door to this. Backbiting a non-believer is not from the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ and sahaba.
The video help people alot to motivate ourselve jazakallahkhair bro ur videos make us fall in being a obedient believer and come to know more about Islam an get closer to msg quran
As-salaamu 'alaikum, what about when you're seeking a marriage partner and you're asking for references and people may mention certain bad qualities about your prospective husband/wife, isn't this also a form of permissible back-biting?
I wondered why my hurt is not Salim I pray every day I read Quran I wake up night and pray I try to do best as I can but why I still thinking bad thing and most people they don't like me Pls help me I don't no what to do
dear brother this is shaitan making you think something is wrong with you and putting those thoughts in your head. Make dua to Allah and say "Oh Allah, I seek refuge in you from Satan the outcast" and never stop praying and reading Quran. May Allah help me and you and keep us on the straight path. ameen.
What about the Muslim shopkeepers who sell alcohol and befriend these people that buy it and many of their customers are alcoholics and cause serious trouble when they are drunk. Could you explain this.
Bismillahhirrahmannirrahhim. Assalammualaikum. 1. In any lecture "if" the lecturer talk about someone (non muslim) about something (that can hurt the person upon hearing it), is that back biting too? 2. Is it a sin or is it a back biting too if we talk about someone who died about their shirk doing during his life time now? (We never know if he did repent before his last breath.)
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Super beneficial. Baarak Allahu Feekum
I listen to this speech at least once a week. Helps a lot
Allahumma baarik
This has to go on my 'top 5 Islamic lectures of all time' especially in terms of relevance.
May Allah bless this brother and his family and the entire team behind this lecture.
﷽
Rasulullah ﷺ said, إن في الإنسان مضغة إذا صلحت صلح الجسد كله، وإذا فسدت فسد الجسد كله ألا وهي القلب - There's a piece of flesh in the body, if it becomes good, the whole body becomes good, if it becomes bad, then the rest of the body will become bad." This piece of flesh that controls the rest of your body is your heart.
[05:37] Three types of hearts in general per scholars
1. Qalbul saleem: pure/clean heart. Free from any passion, any lust that goes against the commands of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى, stays away from His prohibitions. As a result of this, it loves what Allah loves, it hates what Allah hates. This heart sticks to the Quran and Sunnah.
2. Dead heart: does not know Allah or worship Him. Clings to its' lusts and desires. As a result of this the heart is dead, doesn't have the ability to distinguish between right and wrong. It is like a dead leaf which goes wherever the wind takes it. To associate with such a person is like playing with fire, it is destruction. Prophet ﷺ said that a man is upon the deen of his companion. You tempt his illness when you associate with him.
3. Heart that is neither alive/pure, or dead: Heart that moves between dedication to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and at the same time has inclinations to follow its' lusts and desires. It is between safety and destruction.
[11:07] Causes of the diseases of the heart
Surrounding yourselves in a situation with temptations, with whims and desires causes diseases to develop in your heart. Abu Hurairah RA narrated that Rasulullah ﷺ said that Indeed when a believer commits a sin, a black dot appears on his heart. If he repents and abandons the sin and seeks forgiveness, then his heart will be polished and that black dot will be removed. But if he increases in sin, the blackness increases. Rasulullah ﷺ said that this is the covering which keeps going and going until it covers your heart. This is the covering which Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى mentions in the Quran, "كَلَّا ۖ بَلْ ۜ رَانَ عَلَىٰ قُلُوبِهِم مَّا كَانُوا۟ يَكْسِبُونَ - But No! On their hearts is a covering because of all the evil they used to commit." (Surah Al-Mutaffifin 83:14). Because of our sins, the darkness piles onto our heart, and when the heart becomes black, it begins to become diseased. And if we don't treat our heart when it becomes diseased, it will kill our hearts, and then we won't be able to tell between truth and falsehood. To get rid of the black spot, we need to abandon the sin and seek Allah's forgiveness.
This lecture covers only 3 main diseases of the heart.
[14:38] The disease of BACKBITING (Gheeba)
A major sin, carries major penalties. A disease that destroys your hearts, will cause you to lose your deeds on the Day of Judgement and be given to someone else. Rasulullah ﷺ defined backbiting, "It is to say something about your brother which he dislikes." A sahaba asked what if what was said was however true? Rasulullah ﷺ replied, "If the defects that you mention about him are true then you've backbitten him, and if they are not true, then you have slandered him." Slander (Buhtan) is even worse.
[16:31] Four common excuses people given for backbiting
1. "It's the truth" - Refer to the Hadith above
2. "I will say it to his face"- Doesn't matter, you've mentioned something about your brother which he dislikes
3. "I am not backbiting but.... and mention some of his weaknesses" - You still mentioned his weakness
4. When someone asks about your opinion on someone and you say, "Brother change the subject, I don't want to backbite." - Well you've backbitten him in a roundabout way as you've made it clear that what you will say will not be good. Look how subtle this is.
[18:41] Some examples from the time of Prophet ﷺ
1. A man came to Rasulullah ﷺ and testified 4x that he had committed adultery. The first 3 times Rasulullah ﷺ turned his face away from him but after the 4th time, he ﷺ ordered him to be stoned to death. Two companions afterwards started criticizing this person for his sin. Rasulullah ﷺ was walking by a place where there was a dead donkey on the floor. Heﷺ asked those two companions to eat from the flesh. They said who would want to do that? Rasulullah ﷺ said that what they had done was far worse than eating the flesh of the dead donkey, by criticizing the honor of his brother, defaming him.
2. A woman once visited Aisha RA and when she got up to leave, Aisha RA signaled with her hand that this woman was very short. Rasulullah ﷺ said, "O Aisha, you've uttered a word that if it were to mix with the ocean, it would make it impure." This is how serious it is.
Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى says, " وَلَا تَجَسَّسُوا۟ وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضًا ۚ أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتًۭا فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ ۚ - And do not spy and do not backbite one another, would one of you like to eat the flesh of your dead brother, you would hate it." (Surah Hujarat 49:12).
3. On the journey of Isra', Rasulullah ﷺ came across a people with copper fingernails who were tearing their own skin from their face and ripping the skin off their chests. Jibreel AS said that they are being punished because they used to eat people's flesh in their lives, by vilifying their honor.
Imam Nawawi said that mentioning about your brother which he dislikes is backbiting, and then he listed these things: what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station/job, physical appearance, moral character, his wealth, parents, children, spouse, servant, clothing, activities, his smilies and his frowns and anything else that pertains to him. The honor of the Muslim is protected by Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى. You can't say anything bad about your brother except in 6 situations (mentioned later).
[28:06] Why do people fall into backbiting?
1. Weakness of faith and lack of piety. He doesn't fear Allah with regards of his speech, so this shows his lack of faith/taqwa.
2. To vent his anger against this person
3. Just disliking an individual
4. Self-purification: you yourself are suffering from a problem so you start mentioning that problem about someone else to make yourself feel better
5. To honor or elevate yourself by mentioning the fault of others
6. Jealousy and envy
7. Mocking and joking
[31:08] Examples from the salaf
Hasan Al Basri, a Tabi' upon hearing someone was backbiting him sent this man a gift and said, "It has reached me that you've given me some of your good deeds. I apologize that I can't give you anything more than this." Some salaf would say that if we were to willfully backbite someone, that would be our parents because they are the ones who have the most right to our good deeds. One salaf said that if it were not for the fact that Allah is disobeyed, I would've wished that nobody in this city remains except that he spoke bad of me, i.e. so I could have their deeds on the Day of Judgement.
[33:08] Seeking a cure for backbiting
1. Reflecting on the speech of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and His messenger ﷺ: Allah says in Surah Qaf (50:18), " مَّا يَلْفِظُ مِن قَوْلٍ إِلَّا لَدَيْهِ رَقِيبٌ عَتِيدٌۭ - Man doesn't utter a single word except that there's somebody with him to write it down." So when you know whatever you say will be written down, will be presented to Allah on the Day of Judgement, you will have to account for it in front of Allah الزواجل . Prophetﷺ said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the last day, let him speak good or remain silent." Rasulullah ﷺ said that, "When the son of Adam gets up every morning, the limbs of his body speak or call upon his tongue, address his tongue and say fear Allah with regards to us, because we follow you. If you are right, we also go aright, if you go wrong, we also go wrong." So every single morning our tongue is implored by the rest of our body, they say fear Allah with regards to us.
2. Introspection: Busy yourself with your own faults and not the faults of others. Al Hasan al Basri RA said we used to remind one another that whoever finds fault in his brother from an action he's repented from, then Allah is going to punish him by trying him with that very same sin.
3. Keeping righteous company: Prophet ﷺ said that the example of a good friend and a bad friend is like that of the perfume seller and the one who works with metal. So when you are with that person who sells perfume, either he'll give you some or you'll buy some or at the very least, you will leave smelling of that good fragrance. This translates to for example you gaining some knowledge, speaking about Allah, His prophets, companions, Jannah and that increases your Iman. But if you sit with a companion who is bad, he's going to burn your clothes or at the very least you will leave with a foul smell. So keep yourself with good people.
4. Make strong resolve, make dua to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and be determined: One of the salaf said that, "I made an oath that for every single time that I backbit somebody, I was going to fast. But it just wore me out. And then I made an oath that every time I backbite somebody, I am going to spend one silver coin and give that in charity. Since I was losing money, I stopped backbiting." Rasulullah ﷺ said, "There may be a fasting person who gets nothing more from his fast except for hunger and thirst." Scholars would say to not let the day you are fasting be like the day you're not fasting in terms of the way you behave, in terms of your actions, the way you control your tongue.
[39:42] What is the expiation of backbiting?
Ibn Taymiyyah says that if the one you've backbit against doesn't know then make tawbah to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and the gathering that you were sitting in where you mentioned his faults, where you destroyed his honor, mention some of his good traits/praise this individual. But if this news has reached him then you need to go and seek his forgiveness. Rasulullah ﷺ said whoever has wronged his brother in regards to his honor or anything else like wealth, health, property, children etc, let him seek forgiveness today before there will be no dinar and no dirham, and if he has any good deeds they will be taken from him to give to the person who he has wronged, and if he doesn't have any good deeds, then some of that person's sins will be placed upon him.
[41:50] Cases where backbiting is permissible
1. Complaining about someone's mistreatment in front of a judge, the authorities
2. To identify a person: Ex- a brother gives you some identifying traits of another brother (has a beard, short) in order to be able to find him.
3. Warning about a person: People who are spreading innovation, a thief so people can guard their property
4. Highlighting evil doing: If the sin is open, then there's it's okay to speak openly against it highlighting the sin to warn the people against the sin
5. Seeking a fatwa: speak to a Shaykh regarding the individual who has wronged you to ask for a ruling
6. Seeking help to remove an evil: You ask people for assistance to help you make right a wrong.
[44:15] What to do when others are backbiting in the room?
Your silence is your approval. You share in the sin of backbiting. Either ask people to change the subject or you talk about something else or get up and leave the gathering. But if you unable to do any of them then at least hate/curse it in your heart for the sake of Allah.
[45:54] Disease of SHOWING OFF (RIYA)
Rasulullah ﷺ said, "The thing I fear most for you is minor shirk." The companions asked what it was, Rasulullah ﷺ said, "It is Ar-Riya." Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will say to these people on the Day of Judgement, "Go to those people who you showed off your deeds to in the worldly life and see if they have any reward for you this day." Riya is to perform acts which are pleasing to Allah with the intention of pleasing other than Allah, like prayer, fasting. Doing so will get your deed rejected and you will have to face the punishment of Allah. Hadith in Sahih Muslim by Abu Hurairah RA says that the first three people to enter the hellfire on the Day of Judgement will be the man who died as a martyr so that the people could praise him for his bravery, a scholar of Islam who learnt the religion and taught the Quran so people could praise him for his knowledge, a wealthy man who spent in Allah's way so people would say that he's charitable and generous. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will show them His blessing that were given to them and ask what they did for Him, to which they will reply with either I fought in your cause, I gained knowledge for Your sake etc. Allah الزواجل will say that you lie as you did those things to show off to people and then they will be thrown into the hellfire.
Prophet ﷺ said, "Whoever shows off, Allah will expose him." Ibn Hajr said, "Whoever does something that is not sincerely for the sake of Allah and he only wants people to see and hear him, he will be punished for that. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will expose him and make known of what he is concealing. It was said that whoever does something to seek the status and prestige amongst the people and not the face of Allah alone, Allah will make him the subject of bad speech amongst the people who he wanted to please." There is a Hadith in Sahih Bukhari and Muslim where Rasulullah ﷺ says that, "Indeed actions are according to their intention, you will have that which you intended." Omar Ibn Khattab RA was walking past a young man, his head was completely bent down. Omar RA said raise your head because the khushu/humility is not in the neck, rather it is in the heart. In a Hadith Qudsi in Sahih Muslim, Prophet ﷺ said that Allah says, "I am so self sufficient that I am not in need of anybody to associate partners with me. Whoever does something for the sake of somebody else besides Me, I will discard him and his associating of partners with Me." Examples include you praying the nafal or sunnah prayer when you are in the mosque but you skip it when you're home, or your posture is excellent in salah at the mosque but barely good at home.
[57:34] Riya affects your worship
Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen said that showing off affects your worship in one of three ways.
1. It invalidates the act of worship altogether.
2. When riya develops during salah, you try to fight it then inshaAllah your prayer is accepted, but if you don't then your whole of prayer is null and void.
3. If the idea develops after the act is done then this doesn't affect the validity or the reward of the action as that's been completed.
Rasulullah ﷺ said that whoever feels happy because of his good deeds and sad because of his bad deeds, he is a believer. So we feel good about our good deeds and feel happy when people praise us but if they didn't praise us, we would still do that deed.
[1:03:09] Types of Riya
Riya of the body: A person who is weak and thin, people think he's always fasting. Someone speaks in a low tone and a gentle voice so that the people will think mashaAllah he's a zahid, etc.
Riya of the outward appearance: When someone puts on clothes to especially signify that they're a scholar so that people will praise him.
Riya by a person's speech: constantly reminding and advising other people so people will think that mashaAllah he's a good brother, he knows his Islam.
Riya with a person's action: as mentioned above, lengthening prayer, giving in charity so people will praise you.
[1:05:39] Why do people show off?
1. Showing off to be able to do haram: Ex- a daee showing off to be able to commit zina. This is most hated by Allah because you are using this act of worship to commit a sin.
2. For some form of worldly gain: Ex- to look good in front of someone's father so they offer their daughter in marriage. Although this action is halal but he used this action to attain something even though its halal.
3. So people won't think badly of him: Ex- a brother prays sunnah in masjid so people don't think badly of him or criticize him.
[1:07:37] Signs of someone suffering from Riya
1. Laziness in performing acts of worship when you are alone
2. Reacting to praise: You increase in that good deed when someone praises you
[1:08:39] How to seek a cure for riya
1. Recognize that you're suffering
2. Conceal your good deeds from the eyes of the people. A salaf said that the sincere person is the one who hides his good deeds the way he hides his sins.
3. Know about the dangers of riya, it is a hidden shirk. On the Day of Judgement Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى will expose you, punish you.
4. Constantly fight your intention: whenever you do a deed, ask yourself who or why are you doing it? Am I doing it for the sake of Allah? Would I do this deed if I were alone? If the answer is yes, then go ahead and perform that good deed. But if it's a no, this means you need to straighten your intention. Some of the salaf said that I did not struggle with anything as much as I struggled with my intention, by Allah, I have been struggling with my intention for thirty years.
Shaytaan comes to us and says not to pray your sunnah or don't do the deed because if you did then it will be riya. So do we abandon the deed out of the fear or riya? No. If you fear falling into riya by practicing that deed, take a moment, stop, straighten your intention and then perform that action making sure that it is for the sake of Allah.
[1:11:30] The disease of HASAD (ENVY)
It is the desire that a cause of happiness leave the person that you are envying and it come to you or it just leaves that person. For example, you see a person with a nice family, car, child, you have this desire that those things leave him and on top of that you may desire that you want that thing for yourself. Rasulullah ﷺ said that, "Envy eats away good deeds as the fire eats away at wood."
[1:12:34] What are some of the causes of envy?
1. Enmity or hatred towards someone: You want them to lose the cause of happiness. How corrupt is your heart if when you see a person with a blessing, you become upset
2. Low self-esteem
3. Pride and arrogance: you think some other person did not deserve it. This is what Iblis fell into
4. Love of leadership and status: A person expert in his field when praised, he becomes happy, loves it when people praise him, it gives him motivation, he's suffering from riya.
All of this comes down to the impurity of your soul. Ibn Qayyim RA in Zad al-Ma'ad said that the person who is a hasid/filled with envy, he's somebody with a very impure black heart because when a good blessing befalls a person, he gets upset and when a calamity falls on a person, he becomes happy.
[1:15:37] Seeking a cure for Hasad
1. Knowledge of the filth of this disease: It destroys your deeds, your akhira. Remember that you are indirectly questioning the decree of Allah الزواجل when you becomes jealous of someone and think that the person did not deserve it.
2. If you feel envy coming into your heart, make dua for that person: "اللّهُـمَّ بارِكْ لَهُ - Allahumma barik lahu - Oh Allah bless him". When you make this dua, the envy is going to leave your heart.
3. Seek refuge in Allah from this envy.
[1:17:41] Permissible jealousy (غبطة - gibta)
Prophet ﷺ said, "Do not wish to be like a man except in two cases, a man who has been given the knowledge of the book and he recites it during the hours of the night, and a man who has been given wealth and he spends in charity in the hours of the night and day." This is not hasad because that would mean that you want that person to lose the blessing and/or have it be given to you. It is permissible to ask Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى to bless you like He blessed that person without you wanting him to lose that knowledge, that wealth etc.
[1:18:52] Conclusion
We must pay attention to our heart the way we pay attention to our bodies. The way we rush to seek to a cure for our bodies, we need to rush to seek a cure for the illness of our hearts. There are many other diseases of the heart that include the love of this world, lying, jealousy, miserliness, slander etc. We need to seek a cure for all of these as we are going to stand in front of Allah on, " يَوْمَ لَا يَنفَعُ مَالٌۭ وَلَا بَنُونَ - the Day when neither wealth nor children will be of any benefit" "إِلَّا مَنْ أَتَى ٱللَّهَ بِقَلْبٍۢ سَلِيمٍۢ - except for the one who comes with a pure heart" (26:87 and 88). So this is a proof that we need to seek purification of our heart. Ultimately, Allah knows best. May Allah protect us from these diseases of the heart and to give us the heart which is a Qalbun Saleem, a beautiful clean pure heart, a heart upon tawheed, free from any illnesses and any diseases.
[1:20:47] Questions: Can you backbite non-believers?
Sin of backbiting only applies to the Muslim as per Rasulullah ﷺ, the honor of a Muslim is protected. But we need to be people with high character. We need to be a people instilling goodness in ourselves and giving a good message of Islam to others. And who is to say that once you backbite a non-Muslim, you won't start backbiting your Muslim brother. So we need to try and close the door to this. Backbiting a non-believer is not from the sunnah of Rasulullah ﷺ and sahaba.
Learning importance good lesson
I really hope my heart will become a "qalbun salim", I really want to stand before Allah with pure heart. please make du'a for me.
May Allah guide u and me aqii!
Samiya Shakrah
Amin ya Allah.
May ALLAH almighty accept our good deeds n make us among the people of jannah...ameen
May Allaah make you among those who have a qalbun saleeem.
This video was very spiritually enlightening. JazaakAllaahu khairan. May Allaah forgive us Muslims and admit us to jannatul firdous
Thank you for this beautiful bayan.
Shukran. Such an important topic
Asalamu alaykum.
May Allah(swt) reward you for sharing your knowledge, bidnillah. Can you upload more of these.
The Qari is Sheikh Muhammad Luhaidan
The video help people alot to motivate ourselve jazakallahkhair bro ur videos make us fall in being a obedient believer and come to know more about Islam an get closer to msg quran
May Allaah forgive us 😞
best speech
Fauzia Fahmi
Nice lecture
best best best
Wa alaykum salaam wa rahmatullah. Yes that is permissible inshaAllah
Dudley Dawah may Allah reward you with janatulfirdaus for all your ad free uploads. It is greatly appreciated.
Backbiting is so scary
As-salaamu 'alaikum, what about when you're seeking a marriage partner and you're asking for references and people may mention certain bad qualities about your prospective husband/wife, isn't this also a form of permissible back-biting?
I wondered why my hurt is not Salim
I pray every day
I read Quran
I wake up night and pray
I try to do best as I can but why I still thinking bad thing and most people they don't like me
Pls help me I don't no what to do
dear brother this is shaitan making you think something is wrong with you and putting those thoughts in your head. Make dua to Allah and say "Oh Allah, I seek refuge in you from Satan the outcast"
and never stop praying and reading Quran. May Allah help me and you and keep us on the straight path. ameen.
Yea it’s called Tasawwuf.
What? Have you seen sufis of today dancing in masajids?
Did you not do a whole.video about mufti menk and sufis and shias is that not back biting ?
Backbiting is permitted in few circumstances
When someone has said something wrong in public, It has to be refuted publicly and it’s not a sin
That is a refutation which is not back biting.
Is cancer a shaitaneyath disease
What about the Muslim shopkeepers who sell alcohol and befriend these people that buy it and many of their customers are alcoholics and cause serious trouble when they are drunk. Could you explain this.
kpzcbttp selling alcohol is big haram
Bismillahhirrahmannirrahhim. Assalammualaikum.
1. In any lecture "if" the lecturer talk about someone (non muslim) about something (that can hurt the person upon hearing it), is that back biting too?
2. Is it a sin or is it a back biting too if we talk about someone who died about their shirk doing during his life time now? (We never know if he did repent before his last breath.)