Gay Dating App Story: He Saw Me & Walked Away🚶➡️🫠
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- Опубликовано: 29 сен 2024
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Anyone who isn't legally blind and would still walk away from you is obviously insane.
😂🥹😘🙏
I thought the same. If I met a guy like Keven on Grindr I would be so happy 😭😩
@@apocalypticambience According to Keven, he took one look and walked away without giving him a chance to speak or a chance to see if there could be a vibe. Obviously, looks aren't everything but if I met someone who looked like Keven, I sure would want to stick around to see if we clicked!
@@jyd9591exactly Keven is beautiful 😍
agreed, this guy is really handsome he looks like a young John Stamos.
I wonder if he felt you were out of his league.
Even if that were the case, I think he was rude for not communicating that to Keven and just walking away leaving Keven bewildered.
@@luminiferous1960 i think the actual presence of kevin caught him off guard and the guy became so nervous- for whatever reason he couldn't speak. it happens. it's not the worse thing that could happen. you can call it rude. i don't think the guy was trying to be rude at all. but he had no way to verbally express anything at the moment so he just walked away.
@@luminiferous1960 Honey, please...anyone who feels that inferior or bad about himself is NOT going to suddenly be vulnerable enough to explain that to ANYONE. Men are creatures of pride.
@@FriendofDorothy Although you are probably correct about the psychological reason for providing no explanation, it still does not excuse his rude behavior.
@@Pro-Deo I do call his behavior rude whether or not he intended it to be rude. People are often rude for some reason or other such as being stressed out or nervous or in pain. Even though there may be an explanation for the rude behavior that makes the behavior understandable, it does not excuse the rudeness, especially when no explanation nor apology is given for the behavior.
That guy was definitely insane to walk away from a guy like you!!!!!
Yeah he sounds like he's still in the closet. Def his loss to turn you down. I haven't experienced that in person, but have had guys on the apps chat for weeks/months, only to say they got afraid to meet. Either too shy or thought I was going to wreck them.
I'm sorry that this happened to you, but I'm glad that you finally concluded that the problem was with him and not yourself.
I really think it was his own insecurities and shame/ trauma/inner guilt. Either it’s his first gay time or he was cheating and had a girlfriend/wife. And something weird about him.
I'd honestly like to see what THIS guy looked like! I mean, you're a handsome guy Keven. You have beautiful eyes and are a truly good-looking man! There is NOTHING wrong with you! You can be SURE of this sir!
🙏😘
Stay off the dating apps. You are too classy to put yourself in those positions. You are a very handsome man but go for the inner self…which you will rarely find on Grinder. Be blessed
I think he either wasn't out or was in a relationship and decided not to cheat at the last minute.
With a man.. he wants to, but reality won't let him. Probably with all the Trauma and the legend he pledge to his people
Smmhh... this is why I no longer agree to meet people for in person pseudo dates just to hookup. I get the feeling some dudes would really like to date but aren't aware of that desire or are afraid to say it. So they make it so that you can meet up with them in person and evaluate you in-person usually via conversation or just a chance to look you over. However considering the vast distances some these people live... that's what the pictures on the app profile are for... why should I waste my gas just to drive 20 miles in order for you tell me no (or even back out). Complete waste of my time and yours. Time is money especially with today's gas prices and I don't have time for this bull****...🙄
Good for you, you're as cute as a bug! Any casual hookup who doesn't get that has a big problem, not you. He did you a favor by walking away, most likely to an empty life.
❤ JUST FOUND YOU SIR. LIKE YOUR STYLE. REALIZE YOU MAY REMIND HIM OF SOMEONE IN HIS PAST. AND THEY WERE TRIGGERED. OR ALSO. GOD NEEDS YOU TO ERASE THIS FALSE AND DESTRUCTIVE PATTERN OF THINKING.
BLESS YOU FOR SEEING THE DEEPER MEANING AND GET A BLESSING ❤
Welcome to my channel, Kevin!
It's called INSECURITY, but its played out under the masquerade of flaking (which is passive aggressive power control posturing), ghosting ("I can get something better" (but they usually don't), acting as if you don't meet their standards (when the real fear is that THEY don't meet YOUR standards), and the most common form of rejection, which is simple anxiety-induced "cold feet". Remember that people who have poor self-esteem will try to hide their weakness in any number of ways, all of which involve rejecting you BEFORE you reject them. I've been the one rejected or flaked out on, and I've also been the one doing the cancelling/rejecting (I'm ill, I'm busy, my "schedule" bla bla bla, mostly fabricated white lies). It's all about that annoying voice in one's head that says, "I'm not attractive enough for this person, I don't make enough money for this person, My body is not hot enough, I'm too fat, my penis is not big enough, I'm a social geek", etc etc. And don't forget another reason for the insta-rejection: I am on drugs and this guy looks like he's not. (Yes, honey, there IS a "drug look" and we all know it but we don't want to be "judgy" even when we should listen to our gut instincts). It's rarely about you so the best reaction is INDIFFERENCE. Just move on to someone who has healthy self-esteem, is not a walking red flag, is not unstable, and isn't wasted on alcohol or some drug meant to curb his insecurity and anxiety.
All great points, thanks for sharing this! And you taught me a new phrase: "passive aggressive power control posturing" lol
⭐⭐⭐⭐ "ONE DAY SOMEONE WILL WALK INTO YOUR LIFE AND GET IT RIGHT, WHERE EVERYONE ELSE GOT IT WRONG"
🥹😘
I could’ve literally made this exact same video myself. This EXACT same thing had happened to me before. Met up with guy on Grindr for hookup. And the moment we came face to face he takes a look at me and immediately says “this isn’t gonna work” and then walks away awkwardly. It destroyed my confidence. I still think about it today. But then I realize there were plenty of guys that didn’t react that way to me. And I just accept that I will never be everyone’s cup of tea. But I have the same problem as you like after a job interview or something if I end up not being hired I immediately start asking “what did I do wrong??” “Do I smell bad or look weird?” So no you’re not alone I experienced this same thing as well and felt terrible afterwards
You brought up a great point though which is "but then I realize there were plenty of guys that didn’t react that way to me."
That's exactly it! A normal, healthy, kind person would not react that way EVEN if they were not attracted - they would at least have the respect and compassion to communicate more effectively.
As gay men, I think we've normalized cruelty. It's actually *not* a normal part of "rejection."
@@KevenTalksnot gonna lie gay men have been some of the most cruel and vile people I ever met in existence. It’s crazy how cruel “our own kind” can be to each other. Everyone is just a disposable piece of meat apparently
@@andrewgarfield9898 100%, I mean just look at some of the comments 🫠
@@KevenTalks I’m guessing you’re being sarcastic because most of the comments here are positive…..which sort of goes against what I just said. I meant “some” NOT all can be really shallow and rude.
@@andrewgarfield9898 Not being sarcastic - take a look at the last few comments :) lol
Just another flake in a world of flakes
Men are weird like that. Some of them would order a dish then in a split second when it arrives, they change their mind and want something else.
Humans, we are so complex! But I agree that most often a lot of us tend to internalize many things when in fact so many people are battling insecurities and projecting them onto others. By the way that shade of blue looks great on you.
Very true - and thank you!
maybe he did not want a youtube video made about him
😂
Then he shouldn't have acted like weird little bit** and actually like a adult.
@@Not-Ap 😂😂😂 you guys give me the best laughs! 🙏
😂😂😂
Its happened to us all. Dont read into it and consider it his loss. 🤷♂️
May be the guy is just intimated by you when he saw you in person.
You guys are all so sweet lol 🥹🥹
Keven, it was not you. I know we all do that to some degree thinking it was something we said or did. We later realize it was not us, but the situation or the other personal. We cannot take on the burdens or actions of other. Just be mindful of that. Something was going on with this guy that he walked away. It has nothing to do with you. You have empathy for others. You can pick up the feelings from others. You were picking up on whatever was going wrong with him. Just know it was not you or something you said or did.
He sounds dodgey!
There could be a variety of reasons that aren’t obvious and nothing personal.
Wouldn't worry,don't spend your youth being insecure about your looks. First off, you're very handsome, secondly in 40 years you will see pictures of yourself now and realize how hot you were.
As Miranda would say, "He's just not that into you." It seems he has a very narrow and specific attraction and the reality, for whatever reason, didn't match that. His loss. Or as a trainer once told me, "That sounds like a YP, not an MP." I'd adopt that attitude toward him. It's his problem, not your problem.
Hey Keven, This is a loyal viewer who is subscribed and ALWAYS LIKES ❤ your videos. On the one hand, you seem to be super relationship material. I even get the impression that deep down you want a long-term loving relationship. On the other hand, you're on Grindr all the time trying to have sex with strangers who happen to be visiting Miami for a little while. It seems less likely you'll meet a boyfriend / lover by hooking up with our of town stranger men. It's like you have 2 conflicting desires -- and the sex hookups seemingly win out over your desire for an LTR. This is NOT a criticism. It's merely an observation from a Midwestern guy. Maybe you are able to devote equal energy and time to finding an actual available boyfriend AND having sex hookups with strangers. I'm not a prude. Everyone has done the hookup stuff. Let's be real. Please let me know how wrong I am Keven. I'm not saying you should be a celibate nun (priests have sex as we all know ☹️). I'm just making a third party observation that may be far from the truth. Please let us loyal viewers know (only if you feel comfortable discussing it on camera). xoxo From Chicago ❤❤❤
Isn't it possible to be open to both simultaneously? I don't think they're mutually exclusive.
I don't present myself with a chest picture like the typical Grindr boy ;)
@@KevenTalks I totally agree.
Well, rejection is difficult. Everyone has different reasons for changing their minds. It isn't always about you.
That's not really point. That's incredibly rude to do something like this. Even if he didn't like him he could have at least been polite and talked a bit before politely exiting the situation. Just turning around and saying I have to go is just rude.
@@Not-Ap So true, but this is real life
@@jzwalz51robin45The more people makes excuses for this type of behavior the more it will proliferate. I get what your saying but still.
I believe a similar thing happened to me. Actually 2 weird things happened. I am from New Delhi, India. I was visiting my brother’s family in Santa Clara, California, US. One day I was at a mall, and online on Grindr. A white guy texted me and asked me to meet. He asked me to meet at one of the clothing brands in the men’s section. On reaching there, I didn’t see anyone at first, I kept texting as to where he was, then I saw a man around checking out cloths (typically, how they are kept in rows); he looked a bit (not very) different from the pictures, I didn’t have the courage to walk upto him and ask (I was a foreigner in his country), but he kept looking at the cloths, giving occasional glances and then walked away. I was like WTF just happened. I have come to believe that it may be a race thing - We talk different, look different, maybe that’s why, or maybe he didn’t like me.
2nd - My family was travelling to Yosemite over one long weekend. We were staying at a small town outside the national park. The town was a typical suburb with lakes and wooded areas. At night I started having a conversation with a guy from the town, the conversation went up till late at night, like 2 AM. He asked me to meet at 5 AM in the morning and shared his location. I had told him that I was visiting, and would be leaving the town by 10 AM. Since the conversation was all nice and everything, I had decided to meet him and decided that I would tell my folks that I am going to a morning run. I was all excited and was ready to meet a stranger at 5 AM!! At 5 AM I texted him, and received a reply to come to the location. When I checked the location, it was deep within the woods!! I was very hesitant at first, but then I thought, that I was already ready to meet this person, so I should go. So to confirm the location and safety, I texted again, but didn’t get a reply, and I texted a few more times, and he didn’t reply. It was fishy, eventually dropping the idea to meet him. No idea what it was. But now when I think about it, it feels creepy.
... he opened the door, took one look and said "no" and shut it ... honestly haven't been on a date since, and that was probably 15 years ago , I have no self-esteem to speak of anymore , haven't been to a bar in years
Wow, just because of that one instance? You can't shut the door (no pun intended) because of that one time!
Dating app?! 😂 you mean hookup app 😂
People are just so weird and rude and thoughtless and uncaring sometimes. I had a blind date in a Mall once and the first thing the guy said to me is “oh, you look younger than I was expecting.” I was in my 30s. So weird - usually guys are disappointed if you look older. Well, I guess he wanted a more mature look - gray hair? Who knows. So I said let’s get a coffee and he got a seat while I got the coffee and I came back out and be was gone!!!
So yup - it happens.
I also feel that it’s my fault/guilty a lot even though I know intellectually that it’s the other person being Cuckoo!
Omg! So rude. I can't imagine bailing during a date unless the person was abusive or something lol
I had two WTF just happen experiences. The first one, I met a nice guy at a bar and we talked for about 2 hours and was even touchy-feelly at one point. We really seemed to click and I was thinking we would leave and hookup that night. About 11 pm, he said he enjoyed our conversation but needed to go home and get some sleep since he had to get up at 6 am and be ready for work. Didn't even offer to exchange numbers, just said "maybe we'll see other again some time". Never seen him again at that bar. Second time was similar, chatted online for almost 2 hours than he said he needed to go to bed. Next day he ghosted me. Oh well.
Odd indeed. I've had it happen too, don't worry!
it's human nature to feel self conscious and even blame ourselves sometimes when things don't work out and not just for hook ups either. like you said it could be a million different reasons why. but out of the millions of things it could be i was surprised to hear you say it could be because he gets off on stuff like this, that he likes this power dynamic of making someone feel rejected and that he gets off on it. that gave me pause because i highly doubt it. that sounds more like you're trying to justify any hurt feelings you had because you were rejected. without knowing why he did it i wouldn't assume anything and just let it go.
My point was that there's a 99% chance it has nothing to do with me / anything I did "wrong" - and I was suggesting some examples
You and Arthur Rockwell are brothers from another mother.
I do this all the time. It comes from shame. We are so ashamed of ourselves that everything bad that happens is because of us or our bad behavior. Its never just a shity situation.
You walk away from people on apps?
@KevenTalks no, I mean I make bad things about me. Like I internalize myself as being the problem. But to be honest, actually yes, I have made plans and then walked away, because of many different reasons. Mostly because I was not horny enough, or that the person didn't match my fantasy.
@@Thavar91 Understood!
If the only thing anyone can change is themselves then it’s good to have a policy of self examination. Thanks for mentioning the people that derive some type of weird fuel from rejection, or put themselves on a dating app and don’t want to date. It’s easy to see that you are the guy in the video, so it’s on him.
The way he acted , weird. That was his lost not yours. Keeping moving life is too short.
This happened to me years ago when I was about 24 and lived in San Diego, California. I went to this guys house after talking on a site called 'hot or not' in which people would rate your attractiveness from 1 to 10 on your profile, this was way before grindr. People rated me an 8.9 so I was on the cusp of being a '9'.... this guy specifically stated on his profile that he only hooked up with 9s or higher. I thought he was hot and lived near me, in that time I lived in Del Mar which is kind of far from the gay are in San Diego. So I went to his house and when he opened the door he immediately said "nah" and closed the door on my face. Then he opened it again and said "I dont know how people rate you even an 8, you're not even close to a 5". I felt terrible because I was so young. Yes the picture I took was with really good lighting but there were no filters back then or anything like that and I was pretty skinny so certain light can make you look more muscular so I looked a little more 'meaty' on the picture. I couldn't sleep the whole night feeling horrible about how I looked and deleted my profile there. This guy was in his 40s so I would expect him to be a little bit more empathetic with a younglin like I was at the time but he was harsh. I called one of my best friends and told her and she told me that he was crazy that I was handsome and this and that so I felt better. It helps to have support of friends when things like these happen.
What a jerk!!
The funny thing is people like that - no matter how physically attractive they are - that kind of personality makes them so ugly.
You literally fit description of Prince Charming.. is he blind? What kind of out of touch expectations he have.. 🤦😂?
I literally watched your first video because of your charm and hotness, then I really liked your thoughts... 😊
You're so sweet! 🥹😘
COME ON, how can anyone just... walk away from someone as cute as you? Maybe he got intimidated because you look even better in person? maybe he wasn't out and he had a last minute meltdown and decided to back off. Don't dwell on it.
🥹🥹🥹
Did it occur to you that when he saw you, he felt intimidated by your good looks?
I doubt it lol
Everyone in the world wishes they could have the same opportunity this guy had with you, I can’t believe he had the opportunity and didn’t take it. He just lost the lottery forever.
Wha-- I thought you were done with Grindr
Me? Never 😂
Wishing you a Happy Summer Gorgeous!😘
Thank you! You too! 😘
keven he just wasn't into you in person, it happens! keep it moving
exactly.
That sucks- do you think he just got cold feet? It’s likely either wasn’t attracted In person or got cold feet because isn’t out or something
he's not out!
We like what we like, it doesn't have to be logical
Try not to fret.
I've actually set-up meeting locations where I know that I would be able to see the person first without meeting them. That way I could make a decision and roll out if I need to without feelings hurt.
Isn't that still hurtful to them if you walk out? lol
So the person just figured you never showed up? Even before these apps, I can remember an instance when I crawled out some dude's bathroom window. Somehow I was convinced to go to his house, and then I changed my mind about the situation. That was my way to let him know that. I was I my 20's and I really didn't give AF, just needed to get away.
@@AaronBailey-t5j Omg! You Really crawled out a bathroom window? I wish I had the guts to do it.
It’s a horrible thing to do to a person. But then this insensitivity happens when one meets an overt number of people.
the self-obsession in this video is astounding. i almost mistook this for a parody; but it reads like vanity looking to be reinforced.who knows why the guy altered course? more importantly, why does it rise to this level?
It may have been your voice and/or mannerisms. You can't always tell from a picture, but you can avoid it by speaking on the phone first.
Here's my guess...so, I've heard a few men tell me of similar experiences that they've had; and in each case, it was because the man was expecting a slightly more masculine man, and the man that they met up with instantly went off them, because they were more feminine (in their voice and mannerisms) than they were expecting. I've heard this so many times, that I suspect that's what the 'issue' was for him. Personally, I don't think it's a big deal, but a lot of men (in the gay community) are fixated on that ('masc4masc', 'straight-acting', etc). It's okay to have a preference, but he could've been a little nicer about it (or expressed his preference, before you met). I could always be wrong, but that's my guess, as to what was going through his mind (not that it matters).
He was masc for masc and simply wasn't feeling it once he scoped you out. It's not that complicated.
Did the mirror tell him he needed filters for his youtube video? If it did, maybe he shouldn't listen to the mirror.
i mean people have different taste so no need to shame anyones appearance or taste. but the situation was strange indeed
You should be greatful to him for reflecting back to you the lack of self love and fear of rejection you cary within. It comes from your childhood, it became subconscious belief that you're not worthy. Change the way you see yourself, value yourself, be confident and you'll attract different people. It's never anyone else. So don't blame anyone else, but take responsibility for what you think and believe about yourself. And you'll attract different people around you. And if they leave, accept it lightly, not a match, and let it go. This is helping you to clarify your preferences. Although you think its a negative experience, I think lots of good has come out of it.
Your comment is literally the entire evolution I went through in this video lol
People often look very different in person than in their profile pics and its not always intentional deceit. I've rejected men who showed up at my door before because they dont look like the mental image I had when talking to them on apps.
In real life I'm about 200 pounds heavier than I look in videos
Gurl it's no big deal.
A street corner😮……how about a spot in more quiet and neutral setting. A bench outside the tennis court in Flamingo Park or something.
lol