When I was a medical resident in a large Emergency Department, a young Asian couple came in with their infant, telling me in broken English that their baby had had a fever since yesterday. They said they had taken him to a doctor yesterday, but(they understood) that he had told them it was "just a cold". I asked whether it was a pediatrician. Of course, they didn't seem to know what this meant. I asked whether it was a "baby doctor". After conversing together in their native tongue, they assured me "it was full-grown man".
On my very first call in a call centre as an adviser, a 76 year old lady told me she had a vaginal prolapse and the mesh they used to hold it up was rusting and was getting a replacement. But it was ok because her husband couldn’t keep it up anyway. My coach muted the call, we faced eachother & burst out laughing 😂
I was at a Sunday Flea market, looking at odds and ends at a stall. Two women, both dressed in a mixture of Goth/Hippy/Boho black outfits. One woman takes a black shirt off the hanging rack nearby, holds it up to herself, and says to friend "What do you think? Does it go?" And I'm laughing inside. Honey. It's black. Like your top, your skirt, your hair, your shoes. Your eye makeup, your lipstick. Lol. Ever since then, I've thought that people who wear all black clothes all the time are simply lazy. Doesn't matter which black top you put on with which black pants, they'll go together.
Back when I was still a teenager, I was at the public library, and on my way out. I was passing by a group of kids who were about my age, and one of the boys said in disgust to one of the girls, "Ugh, you're such a geek!" To which the girl proudly said, "I'm not a geek! I'm a NERD!"
Riding the bus, a university student talking to her boyfriend on speaker, he’s upset that she didn’t “wait for him” the night before. She looks across the aisle at me, and says to me, wanting me to agree with her, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with m@$+utb@+¡0n, right! We’re both still technically virgins!” It took everything in me not to laugh!
Not something someone told me but this happened: I was at a Baltimore Ravens game years ago, making my way thru the stadium concourse on my way to my seat. A middle-aged looking man holding a beer bottle came ruuning down the tunnel against the grain of the crowd and loudly proclaimed, "OUTTA THE WAY, OUTTA THE WAY!!! i GOTTA F@#$%KIN' PEE!!!!!" xD
When I was a medical resident in a large Emergency Department, a young Asian couple came in with their infant, telling me in broken English that their baby had had a fever since yesterday. They said they had taken him to a doctor yesterday, but(they understood) that he had told them it was "just a cold". I asked whether it was a pediatrician. Of course, they didn't seem to know what this meant. I asked whether it was a "baby doctor". After conversing together in their native tongue, they assured me "it was full-grown man".
On my very first call in a call centre as an adviser, a 76 year old lady told me she had a vaginal prolapse and the mesh they used to hold it up was rusting and was getting a replacement. But it was ok because her husband couldn’t keep it up anyway. My coach muted the call, we faced eachother & burst out laughing 😂
It was an energy company
"The only thing golden about the golden years is the front of my underwear." Told to me by an elderly bookstore owner in Kentucky
2:00 Also: If the devil owned Hell & Texas, he'd live in Hell & rent out Texas.
3:50 Should have gone to that guy’s barber shop.
It's hard to laugh when You're dead inside.
...okay?
Don’t let depression have that laugh. I laugh to spite the depression. I like the IT Crowd episode where their original boss ends his own life.
matt rose did it better 💀
💀
💀
💀
I was at a Sunday Flea market, looking at odds and ends at a stall. Two women, both dressed in a mixture of Goth/Hippy/Boho black outfits. One woman takes a black shirt off the hanging rack nearby, holds it up to herself, and says to friend "What do you think? Does it go?" And I'm laughing inside. Honey. It's black. Like your top, your skirt, your hair, your shoes. Your eye makeup, your lipstick. Lol. Ever since then, I've thought that people who wear all black clothes all the time are simply lazy. Doesn't matter which black top you put on with which black pants, they'll go together.
Back when I was still a teenager, I was at the public library, and on my way out. I was passing by a group of kids who were about my age, and one of the boys said in disgust to one of the girls, "Ugh, you're such a geek!"
To which the girl proudly said, "I'm not a geek! I'm a NERD!"
Riding the bus, a university student talking to her boyfriend on speaker, he’s upset that she didn’t “wait for him” the night before. She looks across the aisle at me, and says to me, wanting me to agree with her, “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with m@$+utb@+¡0n, right! We’re both still technically virgins!” It took everything in me not to laugh!
Not something someone told me but this happened:
I was at a Baltimore Ravens game years ago, making my way thru the stadium concourse on my way to my seat. A middle-aged looking man holding a beer bottle came ruuning down the tunnel against the grain of the crowd and loudly proclaimed, "OUTTA THE WAY, OUTTA THE WAY!!! i GOTTA F@#$%KIN' PEE!!!!!"
xD
Absolutely incredible 😐
Bubble gum machines are built on the moon.
I like chicken
E