What's the Dumbest Thing You've Done While Half Asleep Half Awake?
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
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I was pregnant with our 2nd baby. Our oldest was between 1 1/2 and 2. We all slept in the same bed at that point. I felt my daughter pulling the blanket off me and in my 1/2 asleep I said "Don’t pull the crunchy peanut butter off me." My husband must have woken up just then and he said "What?" I was completely awake at that point and said "nothing" he came back with "why wouldn't you want her to pull the crunchy peanut butter off you?" We both busted up laughing as I said "I DON’T KNOW!" 😆
I had hypnagogic hallucinations when I was pregnant with my daughter that made me see spiders everywhere as I was dozing off. One particular night as I was dozing off, I saw a spider the size of a dinner plate coming towards me. I immediately began throwing fists only to realize that it wasn’t real. My dog was in bed with me and gave me the most ‘wtf’ face I’ve ever seen a dog make 😂
"stay back dog! I got this fight!"
I feel for the guy's younger brother who got hosed down. He's probably scarred for life. 😅
I was taking thyroxin medication, as was my elderly dog. This needs to be taken first thing in the mornings, at least an hour before you eat anything else. One morning I absentmindedly measured out her meds and took them myself. My first thought was “no big deal, thyroxin is thyroxin”, but decided to check the dosage. Oops. She was getting something like 500 micrograms, I was supposed to have 5. Fortunately, after calling the emergency room at the local hospital, being referred by them to poison control, and transferred to a specialist in the department (with everyone getting a good laugh out of the situation at each stage), they just told me to refrain from taking my regular dose for a few days and keep an eye out for side effects (which didn’t happen). Definitely could have been worse, it’s a good idea to be conscious when you’re taking/dispensing medications.
We lived in the same apartment for the first 12 years of my life, and so for as long as I had been potty trained, the routine every morning was get out of bed, turn right, walk to and through the door, turn right, walk a half dozen steps, turn left, then pee. The first time we moved, it took me months to stop peeing in the laundry room...
7:57 is this video's absolute peak. Sweet Merciful Buddha, that was fucking hilarious and absurd.
These are hilarious. My husband used to sleepwalk. He occasionally walked downstairs while i was sleeping. Weird stuff
Melatonin (natural sleep aid) had me sleepwalking. A roommate found me curled up sleeping on the floor of the garage. I just cut out caffeine and sleep like a normal person now.
In college i was sleeping in my metal loft bed. It sits about 7 feet in the air and had my desk and desk chair underneath. Decided to wake up, half asleep, put my legs over the side and jump off. Started to fully wake up as I was about to land on my desk chair. Nothing broken thankfully but a lot of confused swearing ensued.
Im hella confused because even in a zombified state i haven't done anything to this degree. They all sound drunk as hell.
There was the one time i looked my brother in law in the eye and mumbled
"Im not leaving till i read the last word"
I was not reading anything....
I know I have a lot of good stories, but I don't actually remember what I did. I just remember laughing 15 minutes later when I realized what happened.
However, I do remember one of my friends pissing in his oven
9:06 This story made me cry with laughter. Thank you.
I laughed hard hearing that one too 😄
I gotten up and got my glasses out of their case and put them on my bookcase and then took my phone and headphones off the charger turned on my phone and put it on one of my dressers then went back to sleep.
I cut my bangs thinking I was still in my dream...
When I was 16 I had just woken up and was going to the bathroom, my brother and his friend were in the living room and my brother looks up and says, look who's here. First thing in the morning and I didn't care. I tried to say, "Whoop dee fucking doo" but it came out as "Lipty flickin doo"
Woke up in the middle of the night with a quench for sweets... Not sure why, it literally never happens. I had hardly any food, because I am a single woman living alone so I don't keep much food around. I found a jar of peanut butter and went back to bed. I sucked down half a jar of peanut butter. Woke up in the morning with... The.... WORST... aftertaste... Ever.... That aftertaste lasted days and I brushed my teeth like 5+ times a day for a few days and gargled so much... It was so disgusting. Nornally I love peanut butter but I refused to eat it for a couple months after that 😅
Ive apparently have successfully touched my then girlfriend when i was not there. She told me my eyes were closed but my hands knew what to do, she never knew i was asleep though. She told me when we woke up that she was happy i got in the mood after all...which confused me. She then told me i got frisky at like 3-4am but never finished her off, just turned around and started to snore. The terrifying thing is that i often touch myself when im sleeping, sometimes sexually sometimes bc i really need to pee and as a woman, idk why, my sleeping self does that. So i believed her but it TERRIFIED me. I have not shared the bed with anyone else except peeps im sexually active with now😂😂😂
I forgot what a dog was. I got up to pee a d when I returned to my bed my Pomeranian was happily waiting for me. I sat down on the bed and pet her thinking “wow, this is a weird cat”
Seconds before I fell back asleep I said “dog”
Over 3 or 4 months ago. I was half asleep half awake in the middle of the night and I went to the bathroom near my room but when I was going back to bed. Half awake and half asleep I knocked over my CD shelving and it fell on me. Causing me to wake up completely. I spend the next 30 minutes getting the CDs back where I put them. It is funny now but at the time it was annoying.
I had made some smoked bacon for dinner that day and later I was super tired so went to bed a tiny bit hungry...
Next morning I remember that I went to the fridge half asleep and ate most of the left over before going to bed again...
I've been on half asleep autopilot and done many a dumb thing like using the Keurig with a glass not a coffee cup that glass didn't survive
. I put the coffee creamer in the kitchen cabinet instead of the fridge
. went to school on a Saturday
. Almost caused an acciden at the gas station near my house
. shaved one side of my face
. Almost forgot my pants on my way to work
I always get super extrem weird dreams which are either super close to reality but something weird happens and changes the whole situation or something really bizarre happens. I once dreamed that i was in a sort of endlessly minecraft world with an infinite swing . I was on that swing and chilled with the spongebob characters and i fell from the swing but in an incredibly hight. I literally felt how i fall and i also felt the moment were i landed on the ground. The whole dream felt like a trip or something
Fell out of my bed and got a lovely bruise on my stomach. 😅
Oh... I was working graveyard shift at the local Big Box Store. Happened to glance at the time on the register (3:02am) as I was walking around to go behind it to ring up a customer. Fast forward to 12 hours later, and there is a loud series of bangs on a door.
First groggy thought, eyes still closed: "Not my door. No one I know would come at this time of day..."
Second series of knocks, eyes still closed: "Must be my neighbor's door, it's right next to mine."
Third series of knocks, one eye cracks open: "...damn, that IS my door..." Roll out of bed and pull on some clothes, since it was summer in AZ, and very hot.
Fourth series of knocks, now dressed, grumpy, and prepared to be blinded by the sun, I pop open the door to find a female cop standing there receiving my very clear and obvious look of "...AND...?!?!" No words coming out of me.
She politely asks me about the damage to the front quarter panel of my car. "Have you ever..." I brush my hands against each other in a long, barely touching motion, "...misjudged how close a pole was when parking?" The paint was from the pole my car was parked next to at that very moment.
She politely asks about the hit-and-run accident I (or at least my car) was in at 3am this morning. I'm smirking at this point. I mean... how many people have a nearly air-tight alibi for 3am? "I was on camera at work, and probably my car was =also= on camera at work." This stumps her a bit. I mean I come across as very calm, very certain. Chances are likely very low that I'm guilty. That, or I'm a world-class liar (I'm not). She asks a few more questions, and by now I'm fully awake. (I know, I sound like I was already, but no. I have next to NO filter when half asleep, and I was trying hard to stay as close to asleep as possible, so I could finish out my sleep ASAP. ) Now that I'm fully awake, I'm worried that maybe someone =did= both make off with my car, do their little hit-and-run, then PUT IT BACK where they stole it from for me to drive home. I now need to go check it out. She assures me she believes me (bet she's good at spotting liars), and I don't need to do that. But she does follow me down to my car. Sure enough, it's just the flat house paint from the pole right next to my car, no new damage.
I never heard back from her or any other law enforcement personal.
If you live in the country and are on a well you actually flush the toilet because you don't have water when the power is out
I was texting my ex while half awake. She asked me if I loved her, or if i only wanted to be with her for sex, I said yes without reading the whole thing, and she blocked me before I realized what she just asked me.
I have 3 funny ones for this. First one I went to brush my teeth I woke up ridiculous fast when I realized I was brushing my teeth with my deodorant.
The second one i felt a hand on my face. I promptly I panicked and with my other fist I tried to punch but was sleeping on it. So when I dislodged it I hit myself in the face and knocked myself out. I realized it wasn't a dream when my mom walked into a blood soaked bed.
The third I got up stared at a person and said " I am horney", then punch myself in the balls and passed out. That last onei don't fully believe but the person is adamant i did it.
Do you use Lume' deodorant? Bcz if so, that would make sense. Lol. Just curious!
Took a long afternoon nap. Woke up sometime around 8:00 pm. In my half awake state, thought it was the morning. Started panicking thinking there was some cosmic world ending scenario that caused the sun to no longer shine. After a few minutes of minutes of panic, my brain finally caught up to the fact that it was evening. 😅
just over christmas my mom was wisiting me. one evening she made us hot chocolate. i earlier said that she looked tired, she denied that she was. later in the evening we where unloading the dishwasher and thus the cupboard was open. standing there was a carton of milk. i looked at her and said: not tired at all huh
I can't remember how many times I went to work with conditioner still in my hair. Usually about half way there I'd realize something was wrong when I'd go to brush my hair off my ear or something similar.
8:40 lmao
One time several years ago, I was apparently sleepwalking in the kitchen, trying to get myself a glass of water. Turns out I made more noise than I'd thought and my mom found me trying to drink from the bottle of Dawn dish soap.
I sleep-walk... and sleep-talk, sleep-Scream, sleep-fight...
Yeah I'm really exciting and spontaneous.
When i got married my parents tried to warn my husband but he just didn't realize how extreme the situation can be. On the second night after our wedding i had a horrible, horrible bad dream and screamed while i flailed about. My husband didn't think about how my mom explained how to wake me. He grabbed my shoulders and shook me yelling my name and to wake up.... I came up swinging... Hard elbowed him in the face, grabbed him and rolled sending him off the bed. It was just pure instinct and i did it before i really came fully awake. His nose, where the cartilage meets bone was kind up separated but i set it quickly.
Thankfully he has a good sense of humour and just laughed it off and pokes fun at me about it.
Might be more asleep than 50-50 but the topic is awake enoughthey can navigateso I'm counting it. My family and i were watching the 2011 planet of the apes and my, at the time, middle school aged sister falls asleep part way through. When she eventually comes to, she hugs our mom and says "i have to get the stuff for the monkeys." Mom, seeing she's half asleep, tells her to go to the bathroom and then go to bed. Sister agrees and, thinking it's the bathroom, goes to our pots and pans cupboard (our living room and kitchen is one big room with a table in the middle) and pulls a salad bowl out and is half a second from pulling down her pants before we stop her. That's when she realizes she's not in the bathroom but the middle of our kitchen seconds away from peeing in "the wrong bowl." That was about a decade ago now, we're in our 20s and that's still top 5 most embarrassing moments in her life.
I woke up one morning and just felt kind of out of it. Started getting ready for the day, and went to go check the time since I had an appointment at 9 am. I stood there staring because I couldn't make any sense of the time. What the heck does 68 67 mean?
I was staring at the thermostat.
I woke up because I was very thirsty, I grabbed my little radioclock from the table next to the bed and put in to my mouth. I held it at least 20 seconds to my lips and tried to drink out of it.
Im a doordash deliverer, a few days ago i woke up suddenly and looked at the time and thought i had missed my 5pm-7pm shift time i signed up for, so i got on the app to make sure of my shift time, saw that my shift time was still up so i cancelled it cause i thought i couldnt get ready in time. Half an hour later i realized it was 6am, not pm. I cancelled my shift that got me the most money, during a time when i desperately needed money cause i had to pay my car bill or it was gonna be repoed, and somebody already took the shift i cancelled. I was so mad at myself for doing that, but i was able to get enough money for bill the next day so im fine for now lol
A couple of things. Firstly, you could also call this video, What is the time that you absolutely spaced out. That would fit here. Secondly, I know what it’s like to do Stupid shit when half awake. I have to take Ambien for sleep. If my phone rings no matter what time it is, I instinctively answer. I can’t say how many times I have had entire conversations while half asleep and half awake because of my meds only for later my memory to be a complete blank.
I was dreaming about my daughter getting kidnapped and needed to write a name down...my boyfriend said I used a curler to write it on the blanket...wth
I was making coffee put the mug I put coffee in back in the cabinet and gave up on it . I didn’t realize till I looked and noticed the mug us upright and not upside down
Came so close to entering the wrong bathroom twice when just half asleep (one one side of the school boys left girls right on the other its reversed) damn good thing I snapped out of it in time.
One time I punched myself in the face till i woke up from my half sleep stupor. Like really hard, too
At my most sleep-deprived, I put a clean diaper on my newborn, over a dirty one.
Poured milk into my cereal, followed by orange juice
I peed in my chair instead of the toliet. I was asleep in my bed and just went to the wrong place.
This video just nearly caused me to used germolene instead of anbesol
i have spent more time than I'd like to admit waiting for stop signs to turn green
The story with the guy peeing on his brother's bed is hilarious!!
Continued sleeping on the toilet.
My grandma watched me, in my late teens, walk out into her kitchen with a half empty sprite bottle. I proceeded to fill it the rest of the way with wine, grabbed a pint of ice cream, put on my fuzzy robe, grabbed my cat Jamesmuffin. Then toddled off back to my room. I woke up the next day to several calls from my mother. My grandma asked me how I ate ice cream without a spoon. I pulled a spoon out of the pocket on my robe.
Just for clarification: I always have a spoon with me. Literally part of my checklist. No bloody clue why the hell it is part of my list. But it is. 😂
First story: "see, it wasnt my fault"
Oh god the superglue story
7:59 This is so fucking funny
I moaned in annoyance in my sleep, once. Apparently, the following morning, my mother told me I sounded like someone who just got over a hangover. The odd part? I don't drink alcohol.
My baby mama
drove.
In middle school half way through the day, I realized my pants were on backwards. I went to the bathroom to fix them only to realize my pajama pants were underneath
Years ago, i had a phase where i was sleeping in the closet.
I woke up early one morning, crawled around on all fours and howled like a wolf.
I only realized what happened when i charged into a wall and became aware of the situation.
I scared my family and i moved back to an actual bed not long after.
How many of these people were taking Ambien? 😂
Your mom.