So many heartfelt comments. You know I like to keep it light and have fun with ADHD. But this is a serious disorder. With significant costs. Thanks for your kind words and support for me and each other.
I just found your channel, aced your unnoficial ADHD test, and I am grateful for the light way you presented it but I agree it's no laughing matter a lot of the time. You just made me realise why I photograph EVERYTHING and get quite obsessed with photo albums - I am afraid of forgetting. I have forgotten entire year long relationships! Without memories, what has the last half century been for? Diagnosed at 52 (last year) and tonight my 13 yo son told me of his friendship challenges and that he's started to prefer the library during breaks! My new self-awareness helped me to bite my tongue and just listen... maybe first time ever that I didn't offer solutions, just an ear. But also sad cos it's 3/4 through his 1st year at high school and I am hearing for the first time that it's not all rosy. What else have I missed? So I hear you. At any given time we can only do our best with what we have. Channels like yours add to our toolkits and we do better next time. A virtual hug from a grateful stranger coming your way.
Hi Rick! The adhd as superpower or neurodiversity thing, seems to me like stating to have a cancer as being healthdivergent. Yep, we have a DISORDER. Learn to handle it to keep your life on surface - this is the superpower.
SAY IT AGAIN 63 meds @ 50 now I know n it's a ear ringing forget n looking at all my halvas done projects gotta go clean Thanksgiving is around the Connor Damm It ! LMFAO
I lost my whole life to ADHD. Now 56, I have so many regrets and shame for not making someone of myself. So when people with ADHD say it is a super power, they should be thankful.
It's hard not to be bitter. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You didn't know. For most of human history no one did. People who had it were diagnosed with a failure of moral control. What's surprising is that, a Scottish physician, Dr. Alexander Crichton described kids who clearly had ADHD back in 1798. Even now a lot of people and even physicians don't believe ADHD is real. The reason you struggled for so long is that one recognized that you were struggling with this. That suggests to me that you have been working very hard to manage it. Credit to you.
@@RickHasADHD Thank you for this. Yes, you are correct about people not knowing back in the 70's and 80's when I was in school. It is hard not to be critical of oneself, but you are also correct, that it is not might fault - ADHD is my responsibility, but not my fault. I do have to remind myself of this from time to time. Thank you again. =]
You are 56, and yes, it is completely understandable that you feel considerable bitterness. It is certainly true that your chances of being a professional athlete at 56 are not good!.. but you are 56, not 96. There is alot you still can do. Now you know what the obstacle is, you can work to knock it down or get around it. Your life is not over, make the best of it that you can.
@hooligan9794 I found out about my ADHD at around age 58. It is natural to feel angry, bitter and a sense of loss at what could have been for us. I have good days and bad days with this. Yes, we might have actually finished our degree, started that business or been a rockstar in some field, but we also might not have met our spouse, or significant other, had our children, or have the friends and life that we have today. Life is unpredictable, all we can do now is make the most of what we have now by understanding and working with our neurodivergence. Take care.
Until this video I didn’t realize that not remembering a lot of the past is due to ADHD. I thought everyone experienced the same thing. Although 74 I only realized that I have ADHD last month when my daughter was diagnosed and I began to do research on it. And all of a sudden my life has been explained. Now I vacillate between relief and tears!
Totally understandable. For the last few days I've been writing three videos about the emotional tornado that ensues once you have a diagnosis. And what to do to move forward. I know the first year or two was a roller coaster for me. Now it's more like a road with some speed bumps and potholes.
@@RickHasADHD At this stage I’m concerned that the response from the medical community will be “ oh well you’ve made it this far successfully so leave well enough alone” so I’m not sure what my next steps will be. In the meantime, I’m devouring as much information as I can. Your channel is one of my favourites…to the point and not too long😉
Diag in my mid 30s, and I sort of reckon it's like a grieving process at first? You're letting go of your old self image, without any idea of how your new image will look. Sort of like what we go through after moving out from our parent's house the first time. It's exciting and relieving but also terrifying and difficult at times (and people insist on inserting their opinions on what you should do, ha!)
@@forstar3943 The folks who diagnosed me as ADD ( an outfit that specializes on the autistic spectrum), was unconcerned about treatment because I was near retirement.
This! This brought tears to my eyes as well. I was diagnosed only two years ago. I am 75. My entire life is a blur. I could never understand how others could remember things, when they happened, who was there, or what else was going on. Now I know. I'm glad I know, but I sure have a lot of regret to unpack.
Patrick McKenna, who was a costar on The Red Green Show and of course the hero of our original documentary, 'ADD & Loving It?", keeps a journal. Every morning the first thing he does is write down what he did the day before. He has been doing this for at least 30 years. Brilliant. Now I'm trying not to beat myself up for not doing that as well.
@@drrodopszin I spent most of my life thinking I was lazy because I could never focus on anything. Your dad might want to accomplish things still, even in retirement, like hobbies or personal relationships. Just because you're retired doesn't mean you can't have a happy life!
Diagnosed last year at the age of 73. Prepare for a period of mourning for how different your life could have been if you’d only known, then onwards and upwards! Good luck!
@@drrodopszin Is it worth getting diagnosed late in life? That is a valid question. I always suggest people at least look into it and try using some of the ADHD strategies for whatever symptoms are impairing you the most.
THANK YOU. Other than the current state of the world, the realisation that my whole youth and adult life have been eaten by undiagnosed ADHD is the only thing that drives me close to despair. As painful as it was to listen to you today, I really appreciate this video, and going forward it will probably help me to know I'm not the only one feeling this way pretty much all the time. ❤️
I can't tell you how much it means to hear the difference we are making. The 'We' refers to me, my wife Ava who edits the videos and handles the business, and David who manages everything else.
I really needed to hear this. I recently have experienced the very same thing, I could not remember important moments in my past. I felt horrible like somehow I didn't actually care about the people and events in my life. I have been very depressed about it. I thought I was a garbage person going through life not caring. But I know now I'm not garbage. I have lost a lot to my ADHD; family, friends, money, my freedom (legal issues) and memory. I am beginning to forgive myself for the profound ways in which I have been affected by my ADHD. Thank you Rick, you are a amazing person to me.
yup, walking through life in a fog, no idea where my experiences, lessons, and ambitions go. i also feel like inattentive adhd has the added gripe of not being much of a superpower. so many ideas, with nothing to show for them
I hate that superpower metaphor. It implies that you have control of it and can use it rather than it using you. Calling it a superpower is a form of denial. People don't want to have a disability but ADHD is, without a doubt, a disability.
I agree; it makes me a bit angry when they call it a superpower. Yes, I can get a lot of things done at a quick speed in hyperfocus but it’s not always a happy hyperfocus either. At college I would type entire essay’s in one day in a panic adrenaline mode. It got finished but not after a lot of tears and panic. The only happy hyperfocus is learning a new hobby or series in that first honeymoon fase.
Your comment deserves a video. I've been trying to explain this into many "help" groups, but they keep talking about this new lite version of ADHD where everyone is a bit of ADHD and almost geniuses (everyone think they have misdiagnosed high capabilities 🙄).
@Daniula02 Russell Barkley, PhD always speaks in terms of impairment. If you are impaired, that is when the condition is diagnosed. Having a few symptoms does not create impairment.
ADHD (and autism) robs my life everyday. I'm having a hard time working at a job I finally landed after spending 20 years of my adult 42 year old life unemployed. Now I have a job (in a company that hires disabled employees), but can't focus and can't work and be productive at work even with therapy+medication+exercise+meditation+diet
Been there. Done that. Still go there on difficult days. What helps me is focusing on what's next, what do I want to do now. Making more videos keeps me from dwelling on what might have been.
I was listening to Neal Brennan's podcast and I can't remember if it was him or his guest who said his therapist said something like, "The same mechanism that makes you so quick on stage, is the same thing that makes your mind spin out when you're not." I think any strength can be a weakness depending on the situation AND the people involved. THANKS, Rick! 🙂
Yep. Every challenge, quirk, or symptom can, in the right circumstances, be an asset. I am thinking of Doctor Roberto Olivardia who told the story of the patient who had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and found a job where it was an incredible asset... He's an airline mechanic! He has to check everything multiple times to make sure he got it right. Whereas I'd be the last person you'd want doing complex maintenance with multiple steps on something as complex and critical as a passenger plane. 😗
There's a reason I love the word 'blurse' and feel it's very applicable to ADHD. Blurse, being something that is both a blessing and a curse. I love the insane creativity that comes with ADHD, I could really do without the poor impulse control and executive dysfunction. I'd share my experiences, but I can't remember.
Not remembering some of the bad things clearly sometimes does feel like a blessing. School was lonely at times and there was family trouble as well. I am happy to not remember all of that in vivid colors.
I have zero experience of "blessing" and it honestly annoys me when people speak for a condition this way. You may also be making the mistake of attribute everything to a condition. You don't need ADHD to be very creative.
@@hooligan9794 I never said that one does, but it is a notable fact that people with ADHD do tend to be creative. Few things are entirely negative or entirely positive. And if you can't see any positives in your condition I'm not going to argue with you - I do not live in your head or even know anything about you beyond your one comment. I do hope that you are able to find a way to have a good life with your personal set of abilities and limitations. In my case the way my mind jumps around and makes connections - which is an ADHD thing - helps me to be creative in some very out of the box ways. My experience is not yours, and yours is not mine. I could focus on the negative aspects only but for me that way lies depression and despair, which almost killed me once. Instead I try to have a balanced view where I find ways to deal with the challenges and find ways to make the most of the way my brain works instead of fighting a futile battle against myself. And for some finding the positive is a way of striking against those who tell them they're worthless for not thinking in the way that society values. A way of defending themselves against the slings and arrows of those who would drag them down for being different. I am lucky to have not had to deal with that kind of nastiness to any great degree.
This video made me really emotional. I'm 25 and I already feel like I'm missing out on life. I forgot many good things that happened this year. It's hard being happy when you have no memory of good moments. I try to take so so many different pictures whenever anything good happens and now I know why. I sometimes fear that with a blink of an eye my life will come to an end. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less lonely knowing that im not the only one. ~Aneta from Poland
I also used to take so many photos when I first got a camera, because I didn't want to forget the moments. Pictures definitely help take you back there!
If you can, use the emotions that come up to motivate you to find solutions and strategies. If you read my comment on the previous entry by @lwmscott keeping a journal and writing in it every day, even if it's just a few sentences or bullet-points of the highlights will start to make you more present and aware of your past.
I'm new to ADHD - 62yo and only realized that it might apply to me last weekend. But it makes soooo much sense. I really can't believe that it isn't true. This video made me remember the odd sense I've often had that old friends from school, college etc often seem to remember more about my life than I do.
A lot of what you said about all those parts of your life just "missing" really resonates with me. I'm ADHD combined presentation, but I am also Autistic, I always find myself so amazed at all the overlap between Autism and ADHD.
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Thank you! Thank you! I have wallowed around in ADHD research and related issues for YEARS as I came to grips with my own and that of many family members. However I have NEVER HEARD anyone talk about the huge astonishing gaps in my memory. I feel so encouraged and seen.
That explain sooo much, I don't remember the past, my memories are really fuzzy. And it's sad because you feel like you haven't lived really and didn't accomplished anything.
🫂🫂I'm hoping that your daughter remembers you reading to her. Your not alone, I vaguely recall one of our/Australia's children's writers Mem Fox - of "Possum magic" fame having the same/similar regret only to be reminded by her child that her mother reading to her regularly-ish was one of the highlights of her childhood. As for the mind being somewhere other than where it is ... I've not been allowed to live down the fact that on my child's first day of school I managed to "disappear" to work and had left them with their new books and a lingering sense of "where's Dad?". Stay safe, stay awesome.
Thanks for sharing the Mem Fox anecdote. You know... It's not a bad imprint to have on your loved ones, to plant positive memories for them even if you forget yourself. We all remember different moments from the same story and we don't have room in our heads to carry the whole picture forever. Especially if we have ADHD or another neurological challenge. Love is what matters most.
I remember reading Harry The Dirty Dog, the Curious George books, Clifford the Big Red Dog (Not a lot of character development) Hello Moon... Later we moved to Tintin books.
Neurotransmitters, dopamine... not there long enough to form a memory... when you're here, you're thinking you should be "there,"... and vice versa... you're never where you are... like forgetting a job you had for a year.
Damn. I felt that. I really don't remember much of my own childhood. I don't remember most of my life. I also often struggle with object permanence. We do tend to forget.
Yes, this really does resonate. I pride myself on being the family historian, both for genealogy and recent events -- partly because I'm the single, childless one -- but all too often another family member will say, "remember the time when..." and I don't! Every time I sort of panic -- is it Alzheimer's? -- or feel guilt that I don't remember something so memorable. But now I realize that in many cases, I probably just wasn't all there at the time. Inattentive ADHD. Missing a lot.
Thank you 🙏🏻. I have the most incredible memory sometimes, remembering the most detailed and random things about an incident or activity, but other things, especially in the past, I have no memory of. I did think at one point I was getting very early onset dementia! It makes a lot more sense these days. Not feeling like a super power at the moment. Just exhausted.
I really do think I might have undiagnosed ADHD, the inattentive type, because all the videos I've seen about it feels like they are describing my life (plus the fact that I'm a woman and for us is even more difficult to diagnose it...), yet so far all of my doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists appointments feel like they are failing me, no one listens to me and its frustrating while I feel I'm disappoint my family by genuinely forgetting basic things or sucking at time management, among other things... ALL MY LIFE...while I do feel like I have to mask my incompetence and what you described just in this vid is one of my fears, while my friends tell me things we did together like 5, 6 years ago, to even months only for me to tell them "...how do you remember all of that??" when I try to think of moments of my past it just feels foggy and empty from certain periods of my life...its just tiring and frustrating
In some Japanese animes they have three concept of curse, or cursed energy you can use to do magical things. It really clicked with me, having this means you're cursed but it also gives you some uncanny abilities.
“having this means you are cursed but it also gives you some uncanny abilities”. ADHD is different in each person, but for me - man you nailed my life story in that sentence! So well said.
I can sympathise exactly with what you mean. I was diagnosed this year at the age of 44. ADHD has also stolen many precious memories, but I only realized it when I became a mother. My son is now 7 years old. When I see videos of him when he was 3 years old, it seems like ages ago, even though it was only 4 years ago, and I have also already forgotten so much. 😢 I sometimes find myself thinking that I can well understand how someone with dementia feels like and whose life is fading away.
I feel you! Same here. My youngest is 8 and I'm feeling terrible for loosing memories and for the missed time, time I wanted to spend with my kids but I can't, because my mind is not there. I'm trying to make more videos now. Short snippets of the daily things. And Google helps me remember, by showing me old videos from years ago. Like having an external memory 😅
I feel you! Same here. My youngest is 8 and I'm feeling terrible for loosing memories and for the missed time, time I wanted to spend with my kids but I can't, because my mind is not there. I'm trying to make more videos now. Short snippets of the daily things. And Google helps me remember, by showing me old videos from years ago. Like having an external memory 😅
Dear Rick! Firstly a big hug from Germany. Being near 60 forgetfulness is a very big topic. It so hard to forget the lovely moments. But sometimes it is good to do so.
Thanks for this, Rick. In grad school, my advisor and I would have scintillating discussions - he could play 12 games of chess in his head at once, so I had to run hard to keep up. 15 minutes later, I couldn't remember a single thing we'd discussed. I knew ideas had been exploding like fireworks, but why couldn't I remember them. I put it down to "he's much smarter than me". Which may or may not have been true. But what was true was that so much got thrown at me, my ADD brain couldn't store the connections. THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH!!! And like you, I'm tearing up a little realizing what I've lost as a result. But on the plus side - so many ideas, so little time.
I find that scrolling through entertaining videos on social media produces the same effect. I'm interested in each video, "Oh that's good to know. I should try that." But 20 minutes later I couldn't tell you what any of the videos were about.
I read recently that perception is everything, and, for me, this is another example. I like that i cant remember everything, if everything is important, nothing is important. I remember enough, and I prefer my ADHD brain that isn't clogged up with all the what ifs and remember when's because I am in this moment right now, right here. ADHD is the original mindfulness that everyone else is trying to achieve these days. I would much rather be spontaneous and forgetful than obsessed with order, time and what if's. My life is not boring. It's all perception.
This really explained alot to me. I have ADHD dignosed at 50. I never understood why I can barely remember big chunks of my life, even really important things that I should remember, are just forgotten. Thank you for this video and your channel.
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I can relate to everything you've been saying about it. I've been trying to fix myself most of my adult life, or found ways to work with my lack of focus and memory. I just believed I was unable to keep up with the rest of society, I wasn't working hard enough...it was my fault. Thanks for sharing your honesty, compassion, and humor.
I was in tears watching this 😪 Thank you for being so courageous and so open. I, too, have lost vast amounts of memories, though I hear that folks like us with ADHD often don't "encode" many memories in the first place. My saddest loss is of the time spent with my first love, Sarah, who died aged just sweet sixteen in 1980. We had less than two years together as high school sweethearts, but oh, how I wish that I could recall more about our time together 💔
Thanks, you're the first person I've heard talk about this. The forgetting, all that slips by while living, and the profound feeling of loss as a result... In my situation I also dealt with a kind of brain fog for most of my life, so even my moment to moment existence was a whole lot of nothing. I could say I've *forgotten* less because of that, but it sure as hell isn't better. BTW, the mind fog eventually lifted a few years ago because I was - get this - misdiagnosed with psychosis and put on Abilify. How that removed the fog seems to be a mystery to science... Lucky me, I guess?
I have spent so much time grieving the lost time with my kids. I found it incredibly difficult to play games with them when they were young as it was "too boring" or "my mind was elsewhere". I made so may poor relationship choices that impacted my children and myself. I also can't remember a lot of the things that I did with the kids when they were younger, the funny things they said etc, so I really do resonate with what you are saying. I am now diagnosed and medicated (late in life) and making better choices and spending quality time with my now adult children. I feel that even though we have lost so much time and precious moments, it is never too late to keep trying. And getting back up again and again is something that we are good at.
I was diagnosed when I was 41, 14 years ago now. I suspected that I was affected myself after my son was diagnosed with ADD. It runs in my family just like autism. My daughter, who is much younger than my son, had experienced me most of her life after I was diagnosed. I have no contact with my son and I am definitely partly to blame for that. Looking back, my ADD is the cause. With my daughter it's a completely different connection. This might never have been possible if I hadn't found out that I had ADD and been treated.
Thank you Rick for talking about this! I've read and heard so much about working memory, but i dont think I've ever heard anyone discuss the problem we can have long term memories. I've been wondering if there's something (else) wrong with me, and the implications of not being able to recall things I did/said/experienced even yesterday. One of the most embarrassing situations for me is having someone greet me like an old friend ... and having no idea who they are. I've met a lot of people through theatre and music, and when they see me after years, they remember me, but most of the time I draw a complete blank. It's embarassing, sad and concerning. I feel a little better knowing this is a common ADHD problem. But I feel for anyone who, like us, has lost chunks of their life.
You just confirmed a realisation I had recently, like so many in the year since my diagnosis at 52. I take forever to make a decision and act on it. I am renovating and have multiple projects on the go at once because I have to have a backup activity for when my mind won't let me do what I 'should' be doing. So often I will cut up or use some material which I had bought for another specific purpose but forgotten about. I problem solve how to do something endlessly, come up with a solution, even write it down, step by step, but by the time I go to act on it, I've forgotten what I decided and where I wrote it and have to start brainstorming all over! It's exhausting. And I just realised it's poor working memory, not me being an idiot, as I always thought.
Same. There’s so much of my (52f) and my daughter’s (19) lives I don’t remember. For example, I found a certificate last year for a course that I took at a community college in the year or two before she was born. I didn’t remember even being registered, and the class did not sound familiar even after reading the description.
Watching this as a former straight A student who is now on year 12 of a 4 year degree, and one year into my first real job at 29 years old. I've trudged through life thinking I was just a lazy and stupid failure until the discovery of online resources (and affirmations from diagnosed friends) that I likely have adhd. Of course, I don't have a fancy piece of paper confirming what I already know at this point because I lack the resources to access it, but it really has been an ordeal and I feel in my heart of hearts I would have been so much further along in life by now had I known since childhood. Kinda wish my family tried to understand more why I act the way I do, though, instead of brushing me aside when I try to explain why i still havent cleaned my room after months of saying i should clean my room while on my computer not cleaning my room, and why i havent given the dogs a bath in weeks despite how much i claim to love them, and why I'm too tired to try to wash the dishes after sitting behind a desk doing nothing physically intensive for 8 hours and why i haven't followed up on the readmission application to finish that degree because i haven't been back in 2 years and why my finances took a hit because in that time i was actively attending school, i forgot to check my finacial aid applications that needed small corrections that ultimately got timed out and rejected without me realizing and put me 4.5k in the hole. On a sadder note, i don't remember how old my dad was when he bassed away 2 years ago and if i didnt have pictures of him, i probably wouldn't remember right now what he looked like... Also i had to edit this 3 times
Thank you for making this video. I am a late diagnos"ee" and let's just say it wasn't my "superpowers" that got me there...And once being there and seeing and hearing all around how adhd was a superpower and me never having felt that way just made me feel worse, like I somehow managed getting the wrong ADHD or in your words "the super villain" one 😂. I love that the view and opinions is changing about ADHD but it's so important that unlike before, this new perspective doesn't register as the norm as to not alienate anyone, we're just super beings 😊
It triggers me every time when someone says that ADHD is a superpower or a gift. I didn't finish university in 2018 because of this "superpower" and I got diagnosed with this "gift" 4 years later.
I don’t have many memories and that makes me sad. My brother sometimes mentions cool moments from vacations and I don’t remember them. It makes him disappointed because then we can’t reminisce and it makes me sad because clearly it was fun but I forgot all about it!
I'm 43 years old. Been a software engineer & game developer for 15 years before calling it quits 3 years ago. Yes, ADHD can be a superpower. I've taken advantage of my condition for quickly learning stuff in a day or two. But... Those short bursts of high-revving my neurons ALWAYS results in a week or two of lethargy and unexplained tiredness, inevitably impacting my work life in a negative way. Eventually I shifted into farming and selling fruit trees online, I also sell homecooked meals and do a lot of baking. The transition wasn't easy and it made me depressed for more than a year. Being patient with myself, learning to forgive myself and managing my expectations has helped me a lot during difficult times.
I had my first checking account in the early 80s - just as debit cards were starting to be a thing. I would forget to put debits in my ledger, I would forget to look at my ledger before buying something. I would look at my total at the ATM and withdraw $ - forgetting that there might be outstanding checks or debits. The overdraft charges were often more than the check or debit. I had to go to businesses and redeem my bounced checks with cash. I was told at one business that I could no longer use checks because I bounced them too many times. I still forget that the amount in my checking account may not be accurate due to outstanding debits or checks.
I used to say that I didn't feel like I was really a person or I was really myself until I started taking medication (which was 3 years ago now, I was 21) . I felt I had spent my whole life not doing what I wanted to do but instead doing what was giving me the most dopamine at the moment. People started telling me I liked things that I hated, and that if I really wanted to do the things I said I wanted to do then, I would be doing those things. When I started taking medication, I suddenly felt like I was in the moment, like actually present. It is only this year that I have found to accept and love myself at all ages of my life. I think there are some intrinsic parts to me that exist, with or without medication. There's some really cool stuff that I did, especially at highschool, that I dismissed or felt bad about as they were unfinished, and lacked attention to detail. I'm trying to bring back my love for learning about others and the non judgemental nature I had as a kid. ADHD stole my life, yes, but I was still living before taking medication, and it was harder, but I still did it with a smile on my face, so for that I am very proud. Fuck no, it is not a superpower lol, not for me.
The memory of life it’s something I can really relate. I forgot entirely portions of my life, I mostly remember traumatic events from my childhood. But really my mind was never there and I never understood, always called lazy although I really tried to get education. I just never was able to write and organize my ideas. I always thought that I would have good ideas but never could execute. Now I’m 41 and completely lost, I failed in life, I’m divorced twice. So right now I’m the super villain of my life I feel powerless and a failure and now it’s too late to be successful and learn a great skill to have a comfortable life.
When I was in high school I intuitively knew I should spend my life doing exactly what Rick did. That wasn’t going to be possible and so I’ve spent many years hoping I could make time stop until I figured out something else. It isn’t working. Time passes. Many of us have to make peace with much loss and disappointment.
I've lost the chance to do so many things in my life thanks to ADHD. I mourn who I could have been if only I had been given support as a child, or been able to "apply myself" like all my teachers told me to
I think it's a disability and that's the reason why there is a diagnosis for it. If it wasn't a disorder there wouldn't be a diagnosis. I can't hear it anymore especially about autism. Not being able to handle daily life is not a super power even if it comes with some perks or positive traits attached. Let's just be realistic. I have started to art journal so I can look back and don't forget. In my case I illustrate a double page in my sketchbook for each month. That's a commitment I can handle. And it helps a bit
I don't see my ADHD as a superpower. It has caused more harm in my life than good. At least, that's my perception. I do, however, recognize the ADHD superpower in others' who have ADHD. They are amazing people!
Kryptonite. Kryptonite is the analogy you were looking for. And maybe that is why I am somewhat obsessed with revisiting my past. Because I don't remember it well. Then again, do others? I don't know.
It is a superpower... but only if you are in the right places. for instance: I was in med school. It was somewhat easy to me, except the environment didn't suite me (long hours having too little to do inside the hospital once the work and studying was done, because we weren't allow to use our devices) It was impossible for me to be almost reclusive inside a hospital. So I had to drop once I ended the 4th year. I was devastated because I was very good at it, but couldn't endure such a long term thing; I felt dead inside. Now I am working to be in the side of science communication and some research in neuroscience (As a psychologist). It has been in that less restrictive area I can feel starting to thrive.
This works in reverse too. Some things you remember that were clearly your ADHD showing it's ugly head that you'd like to forget. That super awkward conversation you had that one time, that one class you almost failed, that time you drove over an hour only to realize you left your wallet at home, etc.
OMG, yes. Hours lost trying to find something. The ability to look directly at an object and not see it. The random memory of moment I looked like a fool.
Light side of my ADHD: I have had (and will have) so many interests and so much energy when I'm hyperfocused on them, that I studied and could study a lot of different subjects and make any of them my job if..... Dark side of my ADHD wouldn't hit so hard: I'm apparently unable to remember a huge part of what I study 😢😢😢 so yeah, it's frustrating. Not to mention the feeling of finally having found a motivation just to lose interest sooner than later. How am I supposed to reach any goal, dream, ambition? Hope now that I'm diagnosed I can find a solution. Thanks for sharing your experiences 💖
I’m newly diagnosed so I’m still learning what’s ADHD and what’s just quirks or even normal behaviour. I had no idea not remembering your life is ADHD. I thought that was a seperate thing. I only remember things if I’m shown a photo or video (which isn’t really remembering). When my daughter was a baby I would stare at her trying to commit even minute feature to memory. It didn’t work. I don’t remember anything.
I am one of the people who outright disagrees with the “ADHD is a superpower” line. Most of the accomplishments people point to when saying it are regularly obtained by people with ADHD, often at higher rates. Being able to do something with ADHD isn’t the same as being able to do something because of ADHD. I think the perceived advantages are often overblown, and usually the disadvantages are being understated in those cases. ADHD is a disorder-a manageable one, but still very much one.
ADHD ruins my life but autism picks up the pieces and puts them back together again. The memory bit struck a bell. I have huge holes in my memory for events, situations, people...
Toxic positivity is the superpower thing. It makes people without the beneficial sides feel worse. So be diplomatic folks. I would start with the bad stuff first with people and then admit that you were lucky to get a job, community that you could use a trait/s.
Not a super power at all. Just turned 60 and was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. In talking with my therapist I realized that even more than the accompanying depression and anxiety, ADHD explains most of my life. I thought my depression is what caused me to lose chunks of my life. Now I really understand it's the ADHD.
I am constantly thinking about something else whilst doing a task, therefore I make mistakes I shouldn’t have because I wasn’t focusing. It’s always the next thing I have to do, or a song playing or something. Never what I’m actually doing. So I wander off and completely forget what I’ve just done. I am the female version of Mr Magoo. And it’s frustrating and embarrassing. Not a superpower
I have found no positives to ADHD yet. I am 58, newly diagnosed, and have never found the right job, or friends, life partner, etc. Not that life hasn't had some good times, but I struggle with a lot!
I zoomed in on the video and saw a Prisoners of Gravity poster so I googled Prisoners of Gravity and discovered that Prisoners of Gravity was a tv show and that people had recorded Prisoners of Gravity episodes on VHS and many years later those people uploaded those Prisoners of Gravity episodes to RUclips and did you know that the Prisoners of Gravity show host’s name was Commander Rick who is played by a guy named RICK GREEN!? How crazy is it that your name is Rick Green and you have a Prisoners of Gravity poster and the host of Prisoners of Gravity was a guy named Rick Green. Wow. Small world, huh? Have you ever met Prisoners of Gravity host Rick Green? Just realized I forgot to take my ADHD meds this morning.
Omg memory is affected by adhd???? I’m 24 now, was diagnosed when I was 8, and recently it has bothered me even more than before that my memory is so bad. So you’re telling me it has to do with my adhd??
I am so sad and also very angry of all the boxed minded comments here that complain about the term superpower!!! Because Hulk wasn’t in control of his superpower nevertheless he is called a superhero! So why aren’t we???? Cause our abilities to focus, being empathetic, be aware of details before anyone else, solve problems while nobody else is able to because of another way of thinking, feel and show joy and happiness in an infectious way so that we are really loved for that cause we are giving people also joyous moments, fight against injustice while almost everybody would give up, finding the right words and actions on people grieving, struggling, failing and couldn’t be reached by anyone else,… I could continue on and on but I know that most of you adhd buddies already stepped out 😂 All these abilities above are superpower!!!! 💪 Ps: yes indeed: as an adhd girl I feel offended by you telling me it’s not superpower! 🙈! it took me so much effort not call myself idiot, stupid, worthless, DISABLE,… so all the „haters“ here, tell me: how do you call people who don’t have these absolutely wonderful, lovely and IMPORTANT - for a caring - world characteristics??? People who function in a robotic, cruel cold world where i am bullied because I have these ABILITIES, are better? Maybe they are standard but i don’t want to be their standard anymore: and i have 3!!! university degrees, children and a husband and my dream job in oncology-where my patients love me, asking my colleagues for my return after just one day off! And that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with denial!!!! We are all reminded by our struggles and fall deep almost every fu**** single day!
wait... so some people know what they had lunch that morning... am I not normal? I was hit with that existential hits some years ago when a friends told me of a joke i made the year before that and i had no idea of me ever telling that joke, of course i have completely forgot it again quickly after, also one time a guy walked up to me in school and i had no idea of ever having talked to me but he talked to me like i made a mega good impression on him he said we'd talked like the day before or something, poor guy he must have really wanted to befreind me instead he got so embarresed probably i dont think we ever talked since only briefly once, also isnt it crazy how i can look at the clock turn away look again and it has been 2 minutues repeat 1 minutes or 3 and suddenly ten minutes are gone in an instant what felt like only 2 minutes life is a brittle bridge that crumbles behind you and assembles before you
I've often wondered whether my inability to throw away little mementos is because I'm terrified of forgetting events... maybe it's because I actually do? Is this the explanation? Does it cause a start to hoarding?
Wow! That’s an insight I hadn’t thought of. My dad kept everything! I always blamed it on being born during the depression. But your thought makes a lot of sense! My family has also taken a ton of pictures. It occurred to me today because of this video…it’s related.
Is this an ADHD thing, I don’t remember much about me and my mother growing up. Now I am 51 years old and she passed away quite a long time ago, 1997. On a sidenote, when I left high school, I was instructed to get the folder of information regarding my psychological evaluation’s, and all my information from all grade school and I got it and it’s pretty intense, apparently I am quite attention deficit disorder, and also extremely intelligent, but Not succeeding very well.
You know there are days being me ADD sucks. Everything you feel is amped out, Which I s'pose is fine if you're happy. Gad help thé World if it's lonely, sad or angry.,.. I'd make a great dragon
So many heartfelt comments. You know I like to keep it light and have fun with ADHD. But this is a serious disorder. With significant costs. Thanks for your kind words and support for me and each other.
41 and exactly the same. Never could get good on anything even trying really hard.
I just found your channel, aced your unnoficial ADHD test, and I am grateful for the light way you presented it but I agree it's no laughing matter a lot of the time. You just made me realise why I photograph EVERYTHING and get quite obsessed with photo albums - I am afraid of forgetting. I have forgotten entire year long relationships! Without memories, what has the last half century been for? Diagnosed at 52 (last year) and tonight my 13 yo son told me of his friendship challenges and that he's started to prefer the library during breaks! My new self-awareness helped me to bite my tongue and just listen... maybe first time ever that I didn't offer solutions, just an ear. But also sad cos it's 3/4 through his 1st year at high school and I am hearing for the first time that it's not all rosy. What else have I missed? So I hear you. At any given time we can only do our best with what we have. Channels like yours add to our toolkits and we do better next time. A virtual hug from a grateful stranger coming your way.
Hi Rick! The adhd as superpower or neurodiversity thing, seems to me like stating to have a cancer as being healthdivergent. Yep, we have a DISORDER. Learn to handle it to keep your life on surface - this is the superpower.
SAY IT AGAIN 63 meds @ 50 now I know n it's a ear ringing forget n looking at all my halvas done projects gotta go clean Thanksgiving is around the Connor Damm It ! LMFAO
I lost my whole life to ADHD. Now 56, I have so many regrets and shame for not making someone of myself. So when people with ADHD say it is a super power, they should be thankful.
It's hard not to be bitter. Try not to be too hard on yourself. You didn't know. For most of human history no one did. People who had it were diagnosed with a failure of moral control.
What's surprising is that, a Scottish physician, Dr. Alexander Crichton described kids who clearly had ADHD back in 1798. Even now a lot of people and even physicians don't believe ADHD is real. The reason you struggled for so long is that one recognized that you were struggling with this. That suggests to me that you have been working very hard to manage it. Credit to you.
@@RickHasADHD Thank you for this. Yes, you are correct about people not knowing back in the 70's and 80's when I was in school.
It is hard not to be critical of oneself, but you are also correct, that it is not might fault - ADHD is my responsibility, but not my fault. I do have to remind myself of this from time to time. Thank you again. =]
You are 56, and yes, it is completely understandable that you feel considerable bitterness.
It is certainly true that your chances of being a professional athlete at 56 are not good!.. but you are 56, not 96. There is alot you still can do. Now you know what the obstacle is, you can work to knock it down or get around it. Your life is not over, make the best of it that you can.
@@hooligan9794 Yes, a great reminder. =]
@hooligan9794 I found out about my ADHD at around age 58. It is natural to feel angry, bitter and a sense of loss at what could have been for us. I have good days and bad days with this. Yes, we might have actually finished our degree, started that business or been a rockstar in some field, but we also might not have met our spouse, or significant other, had our children, or have the friends and life that we have today. Life is unpredictable, all we can do now is make the most of what we have now by understanding and working with our neurodivergence. Take care.
Until this video I didn’t realize that not remembering a lot of the past is due to ADHD. I thought everyone experienced the same thing. Although 74 I only realized that I have ADHD last month when my daughter was diagnosed and I began to do research on it. And all of a sudden my life has been explained. Now I vacillate between relief and tears!
Totally understandable. For the last few days I've been writing three videos about the emotional tornado that ensues once you have a diagnosis. And what to do to move forward. I know the first year or two was a roller coaster for me. Now it's more like a road with some speed bumps and potholes.
@@RickHasADHD At this stage I’m concerned that the response from the medical community will be “ oh well you’ve made it this far successfully so leave well enough alone” so I’m not sure what my next steps will be. In the meantime, I’m devouring as much information as I can. Your channel is one of my favourites…to the point and not too long😉
Diag in my mid 30s, and I sort of reckon it's like a grieving process at first? You're letting go of your old self image, without any idea of how your new image will look. Sort of like what we go through after moving out from our parent's house the first time. It's exciting and relieving but also terrifying and difficult at times (and people insist on inserting their opinions on what you should do, ha!)
@@forstar3943 The folks who diagnosed me as ADD ( an outfit that specializes on the autistic spectrum), was unconcerned about treatment because I was near retirement.
@@RickHasADHDThank you for doing that, I really appreciate it. ❤
Sometimes I feel consumed by it and If it's a superpower, I've yet to find my cape
I know how you feel, consumed and exhausted by it, constantly facing a brick wall of mundane tasks to hurdle every day.
This! This brought tears to my eyes as well. I was diagnosed only two years ago. I am 75. My entire life is a blur. I could never understand how others could remember things, when they happened, who was there, or what else was going on. Now I know. I'm glad I know, but I sure have a lot of regret to unpack.
Patrick McKenna, who was a costar on The Red Green Show and of course the hero of our original documentary, 'ADD & Loving It?", keeps a journal. Every morning the first thing he does is write down what he did the day before. He has been doing this for at least 30 years. Brilliant. Now I'm trying not to beat myself up for not doing that as well.
Thanks, I've just started my journey into getting this treated at the ripe old age of 67.
Me too!
I'm trying to convince my dad to look into it. But he questions what can be the benefit of it to know at his age, in retirement?
@@drrodopszin I spent most of my life thinking I was lazy because I could never focus on anything. Your dad might want to accomplish things still, even in retirement, like hobbies or personal relationships. Just because you're retired doesn't mean you can't have a happy life!
Diagnosed last year at the age of 73. Prepare for a period of mourning for how different your life could have been if you’d only known, then onwards and upwards! Good luck!
@@drrodopszin Is it worth getting diagnosed late in life? That is a valid question. I always suggest people at least look into it and try using some of the ADHD strategies for whatever symptoms are impairing you the most.
THANK YOU. Other than the current state of the world, the realisation that my whole youth and adult life have been eaten by undiagnosed ADHD is the only thing that drives me close to despair. As painful as it was to listen to you today, I really appreciate this video, and going forward it will probably help me to know I'm not the only one feeling this way pretty much all the time. ❤️
I can't tell you how much it means to hear the difference we are making.
The 'We' refers to me, my wife Ava who edits the videos and handles the business, and David who manages everything else.
@RickHasADHD ❤️
So resonates! Brushing teeth… Thank you
You're welcome. (Don't forget to floss, rinse, and spit!)
I really needed to hear this. I recently have experienced the very same thing, I could not remember important moments in my past. I felt horrible like somehow I didn't actually care about the people and events in my life. I have been very depressed about it. I thought I was a garbage person going through life not caring. But I know now I'm not garbage. I have lost a lot to my ADHD; family, friends, money, my freedom (legal issues) and memory. I am beginning to forgive myself for the profound ways in which I have been affected by my ADHD. Thank you Rick, you are a amazing person to me.
yup, walking through life in a fog, no idea where my experiences, lessons, and ambitions go. i also feel like inattentive adhd has the added gripe of not being much of a superpower. so many ideas, with nothing to show for them
Yeah. I have so many projects that I started and never finished. Some really great ideas for TV shows that never happened.
@RickHasADHD guess its not unique to inattentiveness, unrealized ambitions are an adhd classic! and a heavy cross to bear sometimes
I hate that superpower metaphor. It implies that you have control of it and can use it rather than it using you. Calling it a superpower is a form of denial. People don't want to have a disability but ADHD is, without a doubt, a disability.
I am what is called 'High Functioning,' but I have met fellow ADDers who struggle to finish one sentence. It's debilitating.
Yes.
I agree; it makes me a bit angry when they call it a superpower. Yes, I can get a lot of things done at a quick speed in hyperfocus but it’s not always a happy hyperfocus either. At college I would type entire essay’s in one day in a panic adrenaline mode. It got finished but not after a lot of tears and panic. The only happy hyperfocus is learning a new hobby or series in that first honeymoon fase.
Your comment deserves a video. I've been trying to explain this into many "help" groups, but they keep talking about this new lite version of ADHD where everyone is a bit of ADHD and almost geniuses (everyone think they have misdiagnosed high capabilities 🙄).
@Daniula02 Russell Barkley, PhD always speaks in terms of impairment. If you are impaired, that is when the condition is diagnosed. Having a few symptoms does not create impairment.
i cost me everything. worked myself to the bone and nothing to show for it. i'm cursed
ADHD (and autism) robs my life everyday. I'm having a hard time working at a job I finally landed after spending 20 years of my adult 42 year old life unemployed. Now I have a job (in a company that hires disabled employees), but can't focus and can't work and be productive at work even with therapy+medication+exercise+meditation+diet
I have wasted more than a decade procrastinating and obsessing over the past. Now, I am getting a reality check.
Only a decade?
Been there. Done that. Still go there on difficult days. What helps me is focusing on what's next, what do I want to do now. Making more videos keeps me from dwelling on what might have been.
@@RickHasADHD your videos are a great support. Thank you so much.
@@steevoh7186 I'm not old
@@thinkingloud1988 That's good. Plenty of years ahead for you to make positive change in your life, my friend. It all starts with awareness.
I was listening to Neal Brennan's podcast and I can't remember if it was him or his guest who said his therapist said something like, "The same mechanism that makes you so quick on stage, is the same thing that makes your mind spin out when you're not." I think any strength can be a weakness depending on the situation AND the people involved. THANKS, Rick! 🙂
Yep. Every challenge, quirk, or symptom can, in the right circumstances, be an asset. I am thinking of Doctor Roberto Olivardia who told the story of the patient who had Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and found a job where it was an incredible asset... He's an airline mechanic! He has to check everything multiple times to make sure he got it right. Whereas I'd be the last person you'd want doing complex maintenance with multiple steps on something as complex and critical as a passenger plane. 😗
There's a reason I love the word 'blurse' and feel it's very applicable to ADHD. Blurse, being something that is both a blessing and a curse. I love the insane creativity that comes with ADHD, I could really do without the poor impulse control and executive dysfunction.
I'd share my experiences, but I can't remember.
Not remembering some of the bad things clearly sometimes does feel like a blessing. School was lonely at times and there was family trouble as well. I am happy to not remember all of that in vivid colors.
I have zero experience of "blessing" and it honestly annoys me when people speak for a condition this way. You may also be making the mistake of attribute everything to a condition. You don't need ADHD to be very creative.
@@hooligan9794 I never said that one does, but it is a notable fact that people with ADHD do tend to be creative.
Few things are entirely negative or entirely positive. And if you can't see any positives in your condition I'm not going to argue with you - I do not live in your head or even know anything about you beyond your one comment. I do hope that you are able to find a way to have a good life with your personal set of abilities and limitations.
In my case the way my mind jumps around and makes connections - which is an ADHD thing - helps me to be creative in some very out of the box ways.
My experience is not yours, and yours is not mine. I could focus on the negative aspects only but for me that way lies depression and despair, which almost killed me once. Instead I try to have a balanced view where I find ways to deal with the challenges and find ways to make the most of the way my brain works instead of fighting a futile battle against myself.
And for some finding the positive is a way of striking against those who tell them they're worthless for not thinking in the way that society values. A way of defending themselves against the slings and arrows of those who would drag them down for being different. I am lucky to have not had to deal with that kind of nastiness to any great degree.
This video made me really emotional. I'm 25 and I already feel like I'm missing out on life. I forgot many good things that happened this year. It's hard being happy when you have no memory of good moments. I try to take so so many different pictures whenever anything good happens and now I know why. I sometimes fear that with a blink of an eye my life will come to an end. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel less lonely knowing that im not the only one. ~Aneta from Poland
I also used to take so many photos when I first got a camera, because I didn't want to forget the moments. Pictures definitely help take you back there!
If you can, use the emotions that come up to motivate you to find solutions and strategies. If you read my comment on the previous entry by @lwmscott keeping a journal and writing in it every day, even if it's just a few sentences or bullet-points of the highlights will start to make you more present and aware of your past.
Please read the Gospel of John in the Bible...
I'm new to ADHD - 62yo and only realized that it might apply to me last weekend. But it makes soooo much sense. I really can't believe that it isn't true. This video made me remember the odd sense I've often had that old friends from school, college etc often seem to remember more about my life than I do.
Hands down this is the best description of my lack of life memories that I did not understand until just now 😮
i can totally relate to this. You're doing good work, Rick. Don't forget that!
Thank you. I forget sometimes, losing sight of the forest for all the trees. The trees that keep falling around me. LOL
A lot of what you said about all those parts of your life just "missing" really resonates with me. I'm ADHD combined presentation, but I am also Autistic, I always find myself so amazed at all the overlap between Autism and ADHD.
OH MY GOODNESS!!! Thank you! Thank you! I have wallowed around in ADHD research and related issues for YEARS as I came to grips with my own and that of many family members. However I have NEVER HEARD anyone talk about the huge astonishing gaps in my memory. I feel so encouraged and seen.
That explain sooo much, I don't remember the past, my memories are really fuzzy. And it's sad because you feel like you haven't lived really and didn't accomplished anything.
🫂🫂I'm hoping that your daughter remembers you reading to her. Your not alone, I vaguely recall one of our/Australia's children's writers Mem Fox - of "Possum magic" fame having the same/similar regret only to be reminded by her child that her mother reading to her regularly-ish was one of the highlights of her childhood. As for the mind being somewhere other than where it is ... I've not been allowed to live down the fact that on my child's first day of school I managed to "disappear" to work and had left them with their new books and a lingering sense of "where's Dad?". Stay safe, stay awesome.
Thanks for sharing the Mem Fox anecdote. You know... It's not a bad imprint to have on your loved ones, to plant positive memories for them even if you forget yourself. We all remember different moments from the same story and we don't have room in our heads to carry the whole picture forever. Especially if we have ADHD or another neurological challenge. Love is what matters most.
I remember reading Harry The Dirty Dog, the Curious George books, Clifford the Big Red Dog (Not a lot of character development) Hello Moon... Later we moved to Tintin books.
Neurotransmitters, dopamine... not there long enough to form a memory... when you're here, you're thinking you should be "there,"... and vice versa... you're never where you are... like forgetting a job you had for a year.
Accurate description. Yes years can just disappear. Out of sight, out of mind - applies to memories too
Yeah. That doesn't surprise me. We can lose track of whole chapters of our lives.
Damn. I felt that. I really don't remember much of my own childhood. I don't remember most of my life. I also often struggle with object permanence. We do tend to forget.
Object Constancy. Permanence is when you forget someone completely. Newborn babies memories and dementia is Permanence.
Yes, this really does resonate. I pride myself on being the family historian, both for genealogy and recent events -- partly because I'm the single, childless one -- but all too often another family member will say, "remember the time when..." and I don't! Every time I sort of panic -- is it Alzheimer's? -- or feel guilt that I don't remember something so memorable. But now I realize that in many cases, I probably just wasn't all there at the time. Inattentive ADHD. Missing a lot.
Totally resonates with me. Thank-you Rick.
I'm the combined type and I also have autism and it's a very bad combination
I teared up when you talked about the memory of you and your daughter..
I suspect I have a mild level of Autism. Apparently having a large model railroad was a clue.
Thank you 🙏🏻. I have the most incredible memory sometimes, remembering the most detailed and random things about an incident or activity, but other things, especially in the past, I have no memory of. I did think at one point I was getting very early onset dementia!
It makes a lot more sense these days.
Not feeling like a super power at the moment. Just exhausted.
Ditto
Ditto
I really do think I might have undiagnosed ADHD, the inattentive type, because all the videos I've seen about it feels like they are describing my life (plus the fact that I'm a woman and for us is even more difficult to diagnose it...), yet so far all of my doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists appointments feel like they are failing me, no one listens to me and its frustrating while I feel I'm disappoint my family by genuinely forgetting basic things or sucking at time management, among other things... ALL MY LIFE...while I do feel like I have to mask my incompetence and what you described just in this vid is one of my fears, while my friends tell me things we did together like 5, 6 years ago, to even months only for me to tell them "...how do you remember all of that??" when I try to think of moments of my past it just feels foggy and empty from certain periods of my life...its just tiring and frustrating
Cannot thank you enough for this. Relieves so much guilt.
Thanks for sharing Rick, I aspire to have moments in life worth remembering like yours. Your insights are hugely helpful as always.
In some Japanese animes they have three concept of curse, or cursed energy you can use to do magical things. It really clicked with me, having this means you're cursed but it also gives you some uncanny abilities.
“having this means you are cursed but it also gives you some uncanny abilities”. ADHD is different in each person, but for me - man you nailed my life story in that sentence! So well said.
Yes I love that analogy! Uncanny abilities, lol
I think this is why my dad, and then myself, and now one of my sons takes so many pictures. We didn’t/don’t want to forget. 😔
I can sympathise exactly with what you mean. I was diagnosed this year at the age of 44. ADHD has also stolen many precious memories, but I only realized it when I became a mother. My son is now 7 years old. When I see videos of him when he was 3 years old, it seems like ages ago, even though it was only 4 years ago, and I have also already forgotten so much. 😢 I sometimes find myself thinking that I can well understand how someone with dementia feels like and whose life is fading away.
I feel you! Same here. My youngest is 8 and I'm feeling terrible for loosing memories and for the missed time, time I wanted to spend with my kids but I can't, because my mind is not there.
I'm trying to make more videos now. Short snippets of the daily things. And Google helps me remember, by showing me old videos from years ago. Like having an external memory 😅
I feel you! Same here. My youngest is 8 and I'm feeling terrible for loosing memories and for the missed time, time I wanted to spend with my kids but I can't, because my mind is not there.
I'm trying to make more videos now. Short snippets of the daily things. And Google helps me remember, by showing me old videos from years ago. Like having an external memory 😅
Dear Rick!
Firstly a big hug from Germany. Being near 60 forgetfulness is a very big topic. It so hard to forget the lovely moments. But sometimes it is good to do so.
Thanks for this, Rick. In grad school, my advisor and I would have scintillating discussions - he could play 12 games of chess in his head at once, so I had to run hard to keep up. 15 minutes later, I couldn't remember a single thing we'd discussed. I knew ideas had been exploding like fireworks, but why couldn't I remember them. I put it down to "he's much smarter than me". Which may or may not have been true. But what was true was that so much got thrown at me, my ADD brain couldn't store the connections. THAT EXPLAINS SO MUCH!!! And like you, I'm tearing up a little realizing what I've lost as a result. But on the plus side - so many ideas, so little time.
I find that scrolling through entertaining videos on social media produces the same effect. I'm interested in each video, "Oh that's good to know. I should try that." But 20 minutes later I couldn't tell you what any of the videos were about.
I read recently that perception is everything, and, for me, this is another example. I like that i cant remember everything, if everything is important, nothing is important. I remember enough, and I prefer my ADHD brain that isn't clogged up with all the what ifs and remember when's because I am in this moment right now, right here. ADHD is the original mindfulness that everyone else is trying to achieve these days. I would much rather be spontaneous and forgetful than obsessed with order, time and what if's. My life is not boring.
It's all perception.
I'm glad that works for you. I don't think many of us would say our lives are boring.
Mindfulness? Maybe you have a very special version of ADHD...
This really explained alot to me. I have ADHD dignosed at 50. I never understood why I can barely remember big chunks of my life, even really important things that I should remember, are just forgotten. Thank you for this video and your channel.
I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, but I can relate to everything you've been saying about it. I've been trying to fix myself most of my adult life, or found ways to work with my lack of focus and memory. I just believed I was unable to keep up with the rest of society, I wasn't working hard enough...it was my fault. Thanks for sharing your honesty, compassion, and humor.
OMG! The lack of memory!!!!!
What lack of memory are you talking about? Did I say that? (LOL)
I was in tears watching this 😪 Thank you for being so courageous and so open.
I, too, have lost vast amounts of memories, though I hear that folks like us with ADHD often don't "encode" many memories in the first place.
My saddest loss is of the time spent with my first love, Sarah, who died aged just sweet sixteen in 1980.
We had less than two years together as high school sweethearts, but oh, how I wish that I could recall more about our time together 💔
Thanks, you're the first person I've heard talk about this. The forgetting, all that slips by while living, and the profound feeling of loss as a result...
In my situation I also dealt with a kind of brain fog for most of my life, so even my moment to moment existence was a whole lot of nothing. I could say I've *forgotten* less because of that, but it sure as hell isn't better.
BTW, the mind fog eventually lifted a few years ago because I was - get this - misdiagnosed with psychosis and put on Abilify. How that removed the fog seems to be a mystery to science... Lucky me, I guess?
I have spent so much time grieving the lost time with my kids. I found it incredibly difficult to play games with them when they were young as it was "too boring" or "my mind was elsewhere". I made so may poor relationship choices that impacted my children and myself. I also can't remember a lot of the things that I did with the kids when they were younger, the funny things they said etc, so I really do resonate with what you are saying. I am now diagnosed and medicated (late in life) and making better choices and spending quality time with my now adult children. I feel that even though we have lost so much time and precious moments, it is never too late to keep trying. And getting back up again and again is something that we are good at.
I was diagnosed when I was 41, 14 years ago now.
I suspected that I was affected myself after my son was diagnosed with ADD. It runs in my family just like autism.
My daughter, who is much younger than my son, had experienced me most of her life after I was diagnosed.
I have no contact with my son and I am definitely partly to blame for that. Looking back, my ADD is the cause.
With my daughter it's a completely different connection. This might never have been possible if I hadn't found out that I had ADD and been treated.
I'm glad you have a great connection with your daughter. Hopefully you might develop a better relationship with your son at some point.
Thank you Rick for talking about this! I've read and heard so much about working memory, but i dont think I've ever heard anyone discuss the problem we can have long term memories. I've been wondering if there's something (else) wrong with me, and the implications of not being able to recall things I did/said/experienced even yesterday.
One of the most embarrassing situations for me is having someone greet me like an old friend ... and having no idea who they are. I've met a lot of people through theatre and music, and when they see me after years, they remember me, but most of the time I draw a complete blank. It's embarassing, sad and concerning.
I feel a little better knowing this is a common ADHD problem. But I feel for anyone who, like us, has lost chunks of their life.
Thank you for talking about this.
I had never really thought about it, but this is so very true. And it makes me sad.
This explains a lot. Thanks for sharing
That really tugged my heart strings, because I can relate on so many levels.
Over wrought with emotion here, thank you Rick for this nail and hammer moment.
Dude this made me cry, it resonated with me so well.
You just confirmed a realisation I had recently, like so many in the year since my diagnosis at 52.
I take forever to make a decision and act on it. I am renovating and have multiple projects on the go at once because I have to have a backup activity for when my mind won't let me do what I 'should' be doing. So often I will cut up or use some material which I had bought for another specific purpose but forgotten about. I problem solve how to do something endlessly, come up with a solution, even write it down, step by step, but by the time I go to act on it, I've forgotten what I decided and where I wrote it and have to start brainstorming all over! It's exhausting. And I just realised it's poor working memory, not me being an idiot, as I always thought.
Write a journal to remember things... I got 12,000 pages written already...
I've lost nearly 48 years. I'm with you on this one
Same. There’s so much of my (52f) and my daughter’s (19) lives I don’t remember. For example, I found a certificate last year for a course that I took at a community college in the year or two before she was born. I didn’t remember even being registered, and the class did not sound familiar even after reading the description.
Watching this as a former straight A student who is now on year 12 of a 4 year degree, and one year into my first real job at 29 years old.
I've trudged through life thinking I was just a lazy and stupid failure until the discovery of online resources (and affirmations from diagnosed friends) that I likely have adhd. Of course, I don't have a fancy piece of paper confirming what I already know at this point because I lack the resources to access it, but it really has been an ordeal and I feel in my heart of hearts I would have been so much further along in life by now had I known since childhood. Kinda wish my family tried to understand more why I act the way I do, though, instead of brushing me aside when I try to explain why i still havent cleaned my room after months of saying i should clean my room while on my computer not cleaning my room, and why i havent given the dogs a bath in weeks despite how much i claim to love them, and why I'm too tired to try to wash the dishes after sitting behind a desk doing nothing physically intensive for 8 hours and why i haven't followed up on the readmission application to finish that degree because i haven't been back in 2 years and why my finances took a hit because in that time i was actively attending school, i forgot to check my finacial aid applications that needed small corrections that ultimately got timed out and rejected without me realizing and put me 4.5k in the hole.
On a sadder note, i don't remember how old my dad was when he bassed away 2 years ago and if i didnt have pictures of him, i probably wouldn't remember right now what he looked like...
Also i had to edit this 3 times
This resonates so much!
Very true 😢
Thank you for making this video. I am a late diagnos"ee" and let's just say it wasn't my "superpowers" that got me there...And once being there and seeing and hearing all around how adhd was a superpower and me never having felt that way just made me feel worse, like I somehow managed getting the wrong ADHD or in your words "the super villain" one 😂. I love that the view and opinions is changing about ADHD but it's so important that unlike before, this new perspective doesn't register as the norm as to not alienate anyone, we're just super beings 😊
It triggers me every time when someone says that ADHD is a superpower or a gift. I didn't finish university in 2018 because of this "superpower" and I got diagnosed with this "gift" 4 years later.
I don’t have many memories and that makes me sad. My brother sometimes mentions cool moments from vacations and I don’t remember them. It makes him disappointed because then we can’t reminisce and it makes me sad because clearly it was fun but I forgot all about it!
Thank you so much for this video ❤
I'm 43 years old. Been a software engineer & game developer for 15 years before calling it quits 3 years ago.
Yes, ADHD can be a superpower. I've taken advantage of my condition for quickly learning stuff in a day or two. But... Those short bursts of high-revving my neurons ALWAYS results in a week or two of lethargy and unexplained tiredness, inevitably impacting my work life in a negative way.
Eventually I shifted into farming and selling fruit trees online, I also sell homecooked meals and do a lot of baking. The transition wasn't easy and it made me depressed for more than a year. Being patient with myself, learning to forgive myself and managing my expectations has helped me a lot during difficult times.
I had my first checking account in the early 80s - just as debit cards were starting to be a thing. I would forget to put debits in my ledger, I would forget to look at my ledger before buying something. I would look at my total at the ATM and withdraw $ - forgetting that there might be outstanding checks or debits. The overdraft charges were often more than the check or debit. I had to go to businesses and redeem my bounced checks with cash. I was told at one business that I could no longer use checks because I bounced them too many times.
I still forget that the amount in my checking account may not be accurate due to outstanding debits or checks.
Thankfully I have quite a good memory generally, so I don't tend to forget stuff too much. Short term memory is an issue though.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it's helping me to make sense of my own. Much love to you 🫂
I used to say that I didn't feel like I was really a person or I was really myself until I started taking medication (which was 3 years ago now, I was 21) . I felt I had spent my whole life not doing what I wanted to do but instead doing what was giving me the most dopamine at the moment. People started telling me I liked things that I hated, and that if I really wanted to do the things I said I wanted to do then, I would be doing those things. When I started taking medication, I suddenly felt like I was in the moment, like actually present. It is only this year that I have found to accept and love myself at all ages of my life. I think there are some intrinsic parts to me that exist, with or without medication. There's some really cool stuff that I did, especially at highschool, that I dismissed or felt bad about as they were unfinished, and lacked attention to detail. I'm trying to bring back my love for learning about others and the non judgemental nature I had as a kid. ADHD stole my life, yes, but I was still living before taking medication, and it was harder, but I still did it with a smile on my face, so for that I am very proud. Fuck no, it is not a superpower lol, not for me.
Thank you so much!
The memory of life it’s something I can really relate. I forgot entirely portions of my life, I mostly remember traumatic events from my childhood. But really my mind was never there and I never understood, always called lazy although I really tried to get education. I just never was able to write and organize my ideas. I always thought that I would have good ideas but never could execute. Now I’m 41 and completely lost, I failed in life, I’m divorced twice. So right now I’m the super villain of my life I feel powerless and a failure and now it’s too late to be successful and learn a great skill to have a comfortable life.
When I was in high school I intuitively knew I should spend my life doing exactly what Rick did. That wasn’t going to be possible and so I’ve spent many years hoping I could make time stop until I figured out something else. It isn’t working. Time passes. Many of us have to make peace with much loss and disappointment.
I've lost the chance to do so many things in my life thanks to ADHD. I mourn who I could have been if only I had been given support as a child, or been able to "apply myself" like all my teachers told me to
Thanks for your content. ❤
I think it's a disability and that's the reason why there is a diagnosis for it. If it wasn't a disorder there wouldn't be a diagnosis. I can't hear it anymore especially about autism.
Not being able to handle daily life is not a super power even if it comes with some perks or positive traits attached. Let's just be realistic.
I have started to art journal so I can look back and don't forget. In my case I illustrate a double page in my sketchbook for each month. That's a commitment I can handle. And it helps a bit
I don't see my ADHD as a superpower. It has caused more harm in my life than good. At least, that's my perception. I do, however, recognize the ADHD superpower in others' who have ADHD. They are amazing people!
Kryptonite.
Kryptonite is the analogy you were looking for. And maybe that is why I am somewhat obsessed with revisiting my past. Because I don't remember it well. Then again, do others? I don't know.
It is a superpower... but only if you are in the right places. for instance: I was in med school. It was somewhat easy to me, except the environment didn't suite me (long hours having too little to do inside the hospital once the work and studying was done, because we weren't allow to use our devices) It was impossible for me to be almost reclusive inside a hospital. So I had to drop once I ended the 4th year.
I was devastated because I was very good at it, but couldn't endure such a long term thing; I felt dead inside.
Now I am working to be in the side of science communication and some research in neuroscience (As a psychologist). It has been in that less restrictive area I can feel starting to thrive.
This works in reverse too. Some things you remember that were clearly your ADHD showing it's ugly head that you'd like to forget. That super awkward conversation you had that one time, that one class you almost failed, that time you drove over an hour only to realize you left your wallet at home, etc.
OMG, yes. Hours lost trying to find something. The ability to look directly at an object and not see it. The random memory of moment I looked like a fool.
Light side of my ADHD: I have had (and will have) so many interests and so much energy when I'm hyperfocused on them, that I studied and could study a lot of different subjects and make any of them my job if..... Dark side of my ADHD wouldn't hit so hard: I'm apparently unable to remember a huge part of what I study 😢😢😢 so yeah, it's frustrating. Not to mention the feeling of finally having found a motivation just to lose interest sooner than later. How am I supposed to reach any goal, dream, ambition? Hope now that I'm diagnosed I can find a solution. Thanks for sharing your experiences 💖
I’m newly diagnosed so I’m still learning what’s ADHD and what’s just quirks or even normal behaviour.
I had no idea not remembering your life is ADHD. I thought that was a seperate thing. I only remember things if I’m shown a photo or video (which isn’t really remembering).
When my daughter was a baby I would stare at her trying to commit even minute feature to memory. It didn’t work. I don’t remember anything.
I am one of the people who outright disagrees with the “ADHD is a superpower” line. Most of the accomplishments people point to when saying it are regularly obtained by people with ADHD, often at higher rates. Being able to do something with ADHD isn’t the same as being able to do something because of ADHD.
I think the perceived advantages are often overblown, and usually the disadvantages are being understated in those cases. ADHD is a disorder-a manageable one, but still very much one.
ADHD ruins my life but autism picks up the pieces and puts them back together again.
The memory bit struck a bell. I have huge holes in my memory for events, situations, people...
I'm hearing a very sincere share but I am being distracted by the Mac Plus in the background.
Toxic positivity is the superpower thing.
It makes people without the beneficial sides feel worse.
So be diplomatic folks.
I would start with the bad stuff first with people and then admit that you were lucky to get a job, community that you could use a trait/s.
Not a super power at all. Just turned 60 and was diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. In talking with my therapist I realized that even more than the accompanying depression and anxiety, ADHD explains most of my life. I thought my depression is what caused me to lose chunks of my life. Now I really understand it's the ADHD.
I am constantly thinking about something else whilst doing a task, therefore I make mistakes I shouldn’t have because I wasn’t focusing. It’s always the next thing I have to do, or a song playing or something. Never what I’m actually doing. So I wander off and completely forget what I’ve just done. I am the female version of Mr Magoo. And it’s frustrating and embarrassing. Not a superpower
I have found no positives to ADHD yet. I am 58, newly diagnosed, and have never found the right job, or friends, life partner, etc. Not that life hasn't had some good times, but I struggle with a lot!
Some weeks ago i had the same thoughts. 😢
I zoomed in on the video and saw a Prisoners of Gravity poster so I googled Prisoners of Gravity and discovered that Prisoners of Gravity was a tv show and that people had recorded Prisoners of Gravity episodes on VHS and many years later those people uploaded those Prisoners of Gravity episodes to RUclips and did you know that the Prisoners of Gravity show host’s name was Commander Rick who is played by a guy named RICK GREEN!?
How crazy is it that your name is Rick Green and you have a Prisoners of Gravity poster and the host of Prisoners of Gravity was a guy named Rick Green.
Wow. Small world, huh?
Have you ever met Prisoners of Gravity host Rick Green?
Just realized I forgot to take my ADHD meds this morning.
Yes, this.
Omg memory is affected by adhd???? I’m 24 now, was diagnosed when I was 8, and recently it has bothered me even more than before that my memory is so bad. So you’re telling me it has to do with my adhd??
I am so sad and also very angry of all the boxed minded comments here that complain about the term superpower!!! Because
Hulk wasn’t in control of his superpower nevertheless he is called a superhero! So why aren’t we???? Cause our abilities to focus, being empathetic, be aware of details before anyone else, solve problems while nobody else is able to because of another way of thinking, feel and show joy and happiness in an infectious way so that we are really loved for that cause we are giving people also joyous moments, fight against injustice while almost everybody would give up, finding the right words and actions on people grieving, struggling, failing and couldn’t be reached by anyone else,…
I could continue on and on but I know that most of you adhd buddies already stepped out 😂
All these abilities above are superpower!!!! 💪
Ps: yes indeed: as an adhd girl I feel offended by you telling me it’s not superpower! 🙈! it took me so much effort not call myself idiot, stupid, worthless, DISABLE,… so all the „haters“ here, tell me: how do you call people who don’t have these absolutely wonderful, lovely and IMPORTANT - for a caring - world characteristics??? People who function in a robotic, cruel cold world where i am bullied because I have these ABILITIES, are better? Maybe they are standard but i don’t want to be their standard anymore: and i have 3!!! university degrees, children and a husband and my dream job in oncology-where my patients love me, asking my colleagues for my return after just one day off!
And that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with denial!!!! We are all reminded by our struggles and fall deep almost every fu**** single day!
wait... so some people know what they had lunch that morning... am I not normal? I was hit with that existential hits some years ago when a friends told me of a joke i made the year before that and i had no idea of me ever telling that joke, of course i have completely forgot it again quickly after, also one time a guy walked up to me in school and i had no idea of ever having talked to me but he talked to me like i made a mega good impression on him he said we'd talked like the day before or something, poor guy he must have really wanted to befreind me instead he got so embarresed probably i dont think we ever talked since only briefly once, also isnt it crazy how i can look at the clock turn away look again and it has been 2 minutues repeat 1 minutes or 3 and suddenly ten minutes are gone in an instant what felt like only 2 minutes
life is a brittle bridge that crumbles behind you and assembles before you
it can be a gift. PATTERN RECOGNITION SKILLS
I've often wondered whether my inability to throw away little mementos is because I'm terrified of forgetting events... maybe it's because I actually do? Is this the explanation? Does it cause a start to hoarding?
Wow! That’s an insight I hadn’t thought of. My dad kept everything! I always blamed it on being born during the depression. But your thought makes a lot of sense! My family has also taken a ton of pictures. It occurred to me today because of this video…it’s related.
Is this an ADHD thing, I don’t remember much about me and my mother growing up. Now I am 51 years old and she passed away quite a long time ago, 1997.
On a sidenote, when I left high school, I was instructed to get the folder of information regarding my psychological evaluation’s, and all my information from all grade school and I got it and it’s pretty intense, apparently I am quite attention deficit disorder, and also extremely intelligent, but Not succeeding very well.
You know there are days being me ADD sucks. Everything you feel is amped out, Which I s'pose is fine if you're happy. Gad help thé World if it's lonely, sad or angry.,.. I'd make a great dragon
I don't think it's a superpower because it can be really frustrating.
It's just a different way of functioning..
yup, not always a super power...
I get it