The University of Slick

Are you tired of being a POS?! Sick of wasting your life on the couch?! WELL, GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Slick University is NOT promising you success, BUT WE'RE NOT NOT PROMISING IT EITHER! Come for the slick education, stay for the slicker debt! Give us your money, and MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, you'll become something slightly less mediocre! Don't wait any longer! Enroll in Slick University TODAY!
Join us at Slick University, where we put the 'slick' in 'academic excellence'.
At Slick University, our mission is clear:
1. Lure in unsuspecting students with promises of a quality education
2. Relieve them of their hard-earned cash
3. Expel them for fabricated infractions, leaving them with nothing but debt and regret
All while our founder, Dean Slick, swims in a vault of gold coins, cackling maniacally as he counts his profits.
Our motto: 'Slick University: Where we take your money and your dignity, but not necessarily in that order.'"
Slick University, where we're dedicated to helping you achieve your goals - and dodging student loans! Are debt collectors crushing you? Call Slick Law for a slick solution! And don't forget to check out our friends at The Institute of Ethical Fraudulence).
#SlickUniversity
#SlickLaw
#StudentLoanRelief
#SelfishnessIsTheOnlyTruth
#ScrewOthersDoWhat'sBestForYou
#AltruismIsForLosers
#ExploitOthersForPersonalGain
#TheMoreYouTakeTheMoreYouDeserve
#CrushYourEnemiesAndTakeTheirLunchMoney OnlyTheStrongestShallSucceedAndTheWeakestShallPerish
#EmpathyIsForTheWeak #RuthlessAmbitionIsTheOnlyAmbitionWorthHaving
#StepOnNecksAndTakeWhat'sYours
#SlickUniversity
#SlickLaw