Red Dwarf Top 10 Kryten Quotes [As Voted By The Red Dwarf Subreddit]
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- Опубликовано: 12 фев 2024
- A compilation of the Top 10 quotes from Red Dwarf's (nee Nova 5's) Master of Sanitation and novelty ice cube headed Kryten 2X4B-523P!
With thanks to Reddit user u/neryl08 and the votes of the Red Dwarf reddit community and a whopping great thank you to subscriber @caseyyymarieee@Ginger_Dalek for his graphic for angry old Mr RUclips! 
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![Red Dwarf A-Z [As Voted By The Red Dwarf Subreddit]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6GcqQGq3WIE/mqdefault.jpg)
![Red Dwarf A-Z [As Voted By The Red Dwarf Subreddit]](/img/tr.png)
![Red Dwarf Top 10 Holly Quotes [As Voted By The Red Dwarf Subreddit]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0mfvPHCVMp0/mqdefault.jpg)
“Are you sure Sir? It does mean changing the bulb” has rightfully worked is way into public discourse. Short, tight and writing of utter genius.😂
yes, it was sublime
I have this Krysten audio file for when I turn off my computer, “Could we take a break for a while, it appears my intelligence circuits have melted.”
Haaahaha that’s brilliant!
Back in the days of Windows95 I had these too. The system sound was “Smee” and the alert sound was “Smee-HEEE!” It used to annoy the crap out of my coworkers.
I used to have a whole host of RD sounds. “Fish!” was also an office favourite and of course “Emergency! Emergency! There’s an emergency going on!”
@@peterdefrankrijker I used the "I'm Alivvveeeee" from warcraft as my computer start up sound.
back in the windows vista days i actually made a wmv file of hollys face and had it as my desktop.. it was nerdy cool
To this day, me and my friends still use "just two minor flaws" whenever we discuss something that can't be done. I'm surprised that one's not listed higher.
To be honest, about half of Krytens lines from series IV to VI are golden.
That line deserved to be higher up the list.
"I'm almost annoyed" is my favourite
Kryten got unprecedentedly emotional in that scene. Hope the ep now has a trigger warning.
Space Corps Dir. 196156: Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial!
Space Corps Directives merit their own list. Good bet there's a full cut of them on RUclips, now that we're thinking about it! 🙂
My favourite quote that involved Kryten but was said by Lister was when Kryten asked Lister "Aren't you a pantheist?" to which
Lister replied "Yeah, but I just don't think it applies to kitchen utensils. I'm not a FRYING pantheist. "
Rimmer : May I remind you of Space Corps Directive 34124? Kryten : 34124? "No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity"?
The original Kryten response to being told his crew is dead is all time gold. The bit not shown here where he asks "are you a doctor" just breaks me every time.
Haven't watched my RD DVDs for ages, but it is good to see there are still plenty of Dwarfers out there!
The whole scene is one of the best - one of my favourite stories I’ve heard is that they hid the reveal behind a curtain for the live studio audience to get that huge laugh
My 15 year old son only watched Red dwarf a few months back with me. He enjoyed it so much, he watched it again on his own.
@@Mickparrysstepdad good lad 👍🏻
Technically a cat line but kryten said the 1st bit
When the holoship beamed out rimmer
'They've taken Mr rimmer sir'
'Quick let's get out of here before they bring him back'
I'm sorry, but none of those is better than: "Listen! Can anyone hear anything? And you know why we can't hear anything? Because there are no sounds to hear!"
_Kryten, isn’t it roundabout this time of year that your head goes to the lab for retuning?_
I always get terribly pleased when someone quotes White Hole. It’s by far my favourite episode ever.
"So what is it?"
Ah, smug mode
@@StoffelDilligas I've never seen one before, no one has, but I'm guessing it's a white hole.
@@peterdefrankrijker "so what is it?"
It’s been a while since I laughed out loud at a RUclips video. This did the trick.
Although I missed “I’m fine, thank you, Susan.” and the bit about Ramses Niblick III Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where’s My Thribble, and Space Corps directive 39436175880932/B, and any line that starts with “smug mode”… well, anything he says, really.
Don't forget about this one:
Has anyone ever told you that the configuration and juxtaposition of your features is extraordinarily apposite?
- Kryten, Camille
@@mfrank66We'll always have Parrot's
The lesson I’ve learned from this video is Kryten has no wasted lines! Banger after banger!
My daughter and I still regularly say "I'm fine thank you Susan" if one of us asks the other how we are.
One of my favourite Kryten moments was during Series 8, I believe the episode was Krytie TV where Rob and Craig both forgot their lines and just improvised. Doug Naylor then said it was even funnier than what he originally wrote and wondered if he should have an entire episode made up of improv. I forget the exact exchange to the letter, but it went something like this:
K: I presume you've heard the news about Ms Kochanski?
L: What news?
K: You mean you haven't heard?
L: Heard what?
K: The news!
L: What news?!
K: The news about Ms Kochanski
L: What about Ms Kochanski?!
K: What, no one's told you?
L: Told me what?!
K: The news about Ms Kochanski!
L: What about Ms Kochanski?!
K: About Ms Kochanski and her ex-boyfriend Tim!
L: What about Ms Kochanski and her ex-boyfriend Tim?!
K: I can't believe it!
L: Believe what?!?!
KI I can't believe you don't know!
L: What don't I know?!
K: I can't believe that no-one's had the guts to tell you the terrible, terrible, terrible, appalling news! I'm not sure I can even speak now.
L: Kryten, there's a 200 foot drop down there, now tell me the news!
Oh yes! One of my favourite exchanges! Lister’s “Tell me WHAT” felt very real
'I'm fine thank you Suzan.' creases me every time...
"Herman Göring was abit dodgy?!!"
"Well, we're either under attack, sir, or we're having a disco"
My favourite always was: ‘careful sir, the linkways about as stable as an Italian taxi driver who’s got stuck behind two old priests in a Skoda’
A truly great Sci-fi show and probably the best comedy one !
All of these are great and i thought the changing the light bulb one might be towards the top as that is one of my personal favourites as well. However 2 of my other favourites amongst many others are 1) from the episode Whitehole i think. ' Kryten : [Red Dwarf has shut down] Listen. Can anyone hear anything? No. precisely. No one can hear anything. And you know why we can't hear anything?
Rimmer : Why?
Kryten : Because there are no sounds to hear!
Rimmer : Kryten, isn't it about this time of year your head goes back to the lab for re-tuning?
and also i can't remember which episode this is but after he gets thrown in and compacted down to cube shape in the garbage compacter. Camera zooms in close and he says' I'm almost upset' or something similar :)
The scene where Kryten steps into the garbage crusher is Psirens.
@@peterdefrankrijker Cheers. Excellent episode.
"I'm almost annoyed."
For me, one of the finest comedy lines of all time was when he met Camille the PleasureGelf, and said ‘...come and meet the rest of the crew. You’ll like them. Well, some of them. Well, one of them. Maybe.’ Has me chuckling every time!
"I mean why? What do you expect to see in there?
"A Turner sea scape, perhaps? The face of the Madonna?"
@@stewartsherwood7769 Some lost Shakespearen sonnet?
“And we’re going to … live”
it was rated best in the budget class.
The one I remember is when he got something right in an episode. So he engaged Smug Mode.
Have that clip in my shorts feed somewhere - it’s definitely one of the best!
_Ah. Smug mode. Well, I can't hang around here saving your necks all day, I think I'll go make a start on that ironing._
"Sir we're facing ( some kind of crisis) and you're worried about how many cars the Chinese delegation is bringing?"
They missed the in my opinion funniest line he ever had:
In one episode, I forgot which one exactly, Rimmer says: "Wasn't it St. Francis of Assisi who said: 'never give a sucker an even break'?"
To which Kryten responds: "Well if he did sir, I'm sure it was completely off the record!"
Another great example of prime interstellar banter.
I always loved the bit about Captain Oates: “History, Lister, is written by the winners. How do we know that Oates went out for this legendary walk? From the only surviving document: Scott's diary. And he's hardly likely to have written down: "February the First, bludgeoned Oates to death while he slept, then scoffed him along with the last packet of instant mash." How's that going to look when he gets rescued? No, much better to say "Oates made the supreme sacrifice," while you're dabbing up his gravy with the last piece of crusty bread.”
Okay, not Kryten so a little off topic, but a fantastic piece of writing nonetheless. I always likened the great episodes to the works of Terry Pratchett, he’s got the same kind of humour.
The one about changing the bulb gets me every time.
One of my all time favourites is
"I'm fine thank you Susan"
Absolutely! And right before that the battering ram discussion. _Fifty-three doors?! Surely you can’t be serious!_
And the next scene is the door falling over.
I’m really glad to see that more people seem to think White Hole is really good. It’s my personal favourite episode.
My favorite quote is from “Back to Reality,@ from Timothy Spall as the Attendant: “Cor! Blimey! What a bunch of twonks! No wonder they only scored four percent.” And, of course, from “The End”: “Three million years??? I’ve still got that library book!”
#3 was my fav.
However, the 'Robbie Rocketpants' one I really liked, but it's not here.
Thanks for this.
☮
Name checks out!
Emergency, there's an emergency going on!
Classic, made me smile on a grim day. Thanks
"are you a doctor" was just awesome too
I had no knowledge of the subreddit or this but i knew what #1 would be, good choice.
It's 2X4B!! But at least it's not 2Q4B, such a jerky middle name!
WHOOPS! Touch of the droid rot there - let me see what I can do to fix it!
It could be worse. I had a mechanoid friend once. His name was Gilbert but he preferred it if people called him Ramses Niblick III Kerplunk Kerplunk Whoops Where’s My Thribble. A sad case.
Llewellyn was a comic genius both with physical and verbal comedy.
as a massive kryten fan i approve of everything on this vid XD but the whole blue alert segment is legendary XD
Name checks out!
"SMEE HEE!"
Mr RUclips may be very cross but will it fry me alive with its Hexvision?
They left off my personal favorite from the end of "White Hole" where, as they are fading from existence, Kryten tells Rimmer what he REALLY thinks of him. It's a long quote, so I won't type it here, but it's well worth a listen.
Second that!
The whole of White Hole is brilliant, from “Can you hear me? Of course you can’t hear me, I haven’t engaged your verbal systems yet.” all the way to “You are the most trumped-up, obnoxious, farty little smeghead it’s ever been my misfortune to encounter.” [ecstatic rubber faced smile]
I've not seen one before, no-one has - but I'm guessing it's a White Hole.
A white hole?
@@jamespuliin2847so what is it?
Loved all of these.But sometimes you could see Mr Robert reading it from a script lol.
I’m surprised none of him correcting Rimmer about a space core directive are in here
Personally surprised Rimmer Directive 271 didn’t reach Rimsy’s Top 10 - might be my favourite line ever
@@spacedoutgame not a chance you metal bastard?
Wow. No mention of Camille: Has anyone ever told you that the configuration and juxtaposition of your features is extraordinarily apposite?
If Mr YT is very cross he's too sensitive and no sense of humour. 😂😂
The first two seasons were good. The third is when it really took off. Kryten was an awesome addition. Only if Norman wouldn't have quit. But hilly(holly) was awesome, too.
I still rather suspect that when humanity does take to space it will be more Red Dwarf than Star Wars. Can’t wait frankly 😂
"win self determination for the south Moldavian people"
Glad you liked the graphic!
Absolutely!
Smeeee heeee!
None of the quotes are from Kryton quoting the manual? Tut tut
Check Kryten's semantics subroutines! To say "he's Mister Rimmer" is to identify him, not to describe him. What? Hey! I do NOT overthink zany comedies! 🤗
Nothing else could've been number 1.
spoils it with huge writing all over it.
What, no Space Corps directives?
Why was "Mr. RUclips" angry? You couldn't see anything specific in that scene. Kryten kept the polaroids facing Lister!
Ha! At constant war with copyright on these, unfortunately.. seems like a roll of the dice what does and doesn’t get claimed!
I love how British people will use completely random inanimate objects as insults.
Not just that, inanimate objects can also be used to describe how drunk someone is. Try it at home, kids!
What about Captain Bollocks?
I watched this show off and on when I could catch it, now, I found it on BritBox the whole thing even the kitty origan. I have watched it twice. I love the series. Never fails to crack me up. if BritBox cancels the show I will be done with Britbox
Promo sm
Smeg head is in the dictionary... I rest my case.
Printing the quote on the screen, obscuring the video, is v v annoying