I need to unlearn what ‘success’ is - a simple mindset for a new year

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  • Опубликовано: 27 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 1,2 тыс.

  • @charlesmiddleton3247
    @charlesmiddleton3247 Год назад +1667

    As a Veteran of the Vietnam Era (Marine Corps), and homeless off and on throughout the last 10 years, Success to me is: Waking up to a roof over my head and my OLD truck STARTING! :-)... Having at least ONE person who HONESTLY cares about you! Success...is surviving life ONE DAY at a time and in GOOD health. Success... is making that... one person SMILE, who otherwise WOULDN'T. DON'T let money and/or material things define your success! In an instant...it can all be taken away! BELIEVE in yourself!!!

  • @moonstonemama6742
    @moonstonemama6742 Год назад +1017

    To be healthy, to have a home that is safe and clean, to have enough money to live comfortably (but not excessively), to say "no" when I need to, to form meaningful connections to others, to grow mentally and to never stop learning new things. I think that if you put all of these elements together it adds up to a happy life, and I think that is what success looks like.

    • @dodiekoehler5256
      @dodiekoehler5256 Год назад +23

      I agree. Also success looks different for each one of us.

    • @theunexpectedpermaculturehippy
      @theunexpectedpermaculturehippy Год назад +12

      Love this! ❤️

    • @susanmacmaster5804
      @susanmacmaster5804 Год назад +11

      Sounds perfect!

    • @satomiruco2944
      @satomiruco2944 Год назад +9

      I love your thoughts!🫶

    • @cb8962
      @cb8962 Год назад +16

      Yes, you are speaking to what I am discovering each day as I slow down and re-examine what is truly important to me. I’m also learning that gentle, loving treatment of self is key to helping me move through challenges that come up. I am able to find lightness, joy, ease and calm, even in the midst of challenging times if I keep coming back to that loving care and acceptance of self.

  • @judith4158
    @judith4158 Год назад +474

    In my 80's I believe that living lightly on this earth and being at peace with oneself enough to be happy alone, is indeed being successful. Of course, with one's kitty to talk too.

  • @jk4351
    @jk4351 Год назад +322

    Even in the mainstream sense of the world, this very channel is the proof you are extremely successful. You have reached so many people with your silent, calm, unique personality, without any commerical content, merch etc. That is such a huge accomplishment, it cannot be understated. Against all odds, all trends... you're here, so many eyes are on you, and we're looking forward to every new video. ❤️

    • @gracefuIIy
      @gracefuIIy Год назад +7

      YES!!

    • @sharonhouseman5624
      @sharonhouseman5624 Год назад +6

      I so agree.

    • @parkerposey788
      @parkerposey788 Год назад +3

      Well said !

    • @crazychicken4063
      @crazychicken4063 Год назад +3

      Great comment and well said!

    • @jk4351
      @jk4351 Год назад +1

      I'm just so sorry youtube doesn't pay creators what they're worth, and also messes with algorithms in ways that hurt their visibility

  • @MandyMeaghanDeese
    @MandyMeaghanDeese Год назад +336

    At this point in my life, as a 33-year-old stay at home mother with two toddlers, I have come to completely reject societal standards of success, and I cannot fully express how liberating it has been. Life is full and busy with young ones underfoot and priorities have a way of straightening themselves out, or have, at least, in my life. I now define personal success as being the very best version of myself I can be, knowing my limits and boundaries, showing compassion to everyone I meet, and giving my babies and husband a nurturing, safe, warm, loving home and lives they will not one day need to recover from. Gratitude and love have become my guiding words in life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Paola. They’re always so welcome, beautiful and gentle.❤

    • @Elizabeth-arb22
      @Elizabeth-arb22 Год назад +29

      I loved reading your comment. You have such beautiful ideals. I loved your definition of personal success, particularly " . . . giving your babies and husband a nurturing, safe, warm, loving home and lives they will not one day need to recover from." I found it quite moving. Wishing you and your family the best always.

    • @eisy1237
      @eisy1237 Год назад +6

      Sooo wonderful

    • @eisy1237
      @eisy1237 Год назад +8

      You are on the right way🙏👍👍👍

    • @lilcricket4379
      @lilcricket4379 Год назад +4

      they will not one day need to recover from!
      Most excellent! stamped "paid in full"

    • @victoriaann4762
      @victoriaann4762 Год назад +4

      Such a beautiful post! ❤ You sound like a wonderful human being, and you have the self-awareness to create a loving family that can come home to a safe place. I hope that I can do the same one day. 😊

  • @joannewolfe5688
    @joannewolfe5688 Год назад +103

    Success: Allowing yourself to follow your passions without guilt or self-judgement. To live life on your own terms. To keep an open heart. To keep an open mind.

    • @Paola_merrillOnTelle_gram.
      @Paola_merrillOnTelle_gram. Год назад

      👆Hey how are you doing today? ♥️
      I have something for you🎁
      Find me here👆

    • @paulaadams1765
      @paulaadams1765 Год назад +3

      And be kind along the way.

    • @vanessaandoleit3428
      @vanessaandoleit3428 Год назад +2

      Agree so much.

    • @user-oz7qg2nx1d
      @user-oz7qg2nx1d 11 месяцев назад

      You described it so beautifully and l couldn't have said it better myself. ❤

    • @TA-rw4qd
      @TA-rw4qd 3 месяца назад

      The same definition is for Happiness: Allowing yourself to follow your passions without guilt or self-judgement. To live life on your own terms. To keep an open heart. To keep an open mind. :)

  • @amishgirl1000
    @amishgirl1000 Год назад +6

    My success in life is being a follower of a loving God and being obedient to His holy word.
    This brings me such calm and peace.

  • @johnowens1972
    @johnowens1972 Год назад +176

    I have learned throughout my life that there is only one true definition of success . . . and that is that if you are happy, then you are successful! Plain and simple!

    • @chrisjulian83
      @chrisjulian83 Год назад +15

      I agree completely sometimes also the hardest to obtain. Simple happiness

    • @williammcallister5855
      @williammcallister5855 Год назад +6

      @@chrisjulian83 You are just as happy as you make up your mind to be - Abraham Lincoln

    • @rebekkadunker
      @rebekkadunker Год назад +4

      I feel like happiness is such a glorified term. If you always only strive to be happy you might find yourself denying your true feelings or making wrong decisions. There will be hard times in life and it is important to accept that you can not always be happy. It doesn't make you less successful. I think living by your values is much more powerful than trying to "achieve happiness". :)

    • @vanessaandoleit3428
      @vanessaandoleit3428 Год назад

      @@williammcallister5855 you are so right.

    • @donnarakitzis2719
      @donnarakitzis2719 Год назад +1

      If your happy that is success ❤

  • @kimlangenderfer7493
    @kimlangenderfer7493 Год назад +167

    From the outside, your life looks to me like the definition of success: Beautiful home, wonderful husband, animal friends, nature surrounding you, your family nearby and most importantly your amazing self expression through the art we all treasure and are inspired by. I hope you know how very special you are 🌸 Thank you for sharing your gifts with us!

  • @FreeGypsy
    @FreeGypsy Год назад +108

    I recently stopped trying to be what alot of people expected. I have found so much peace just living a simple and grateful life. Thank you for your inspirational words and calming attitude.

  • @niknoks6387
    @niknoks6387 Год назад +207

    I think I’m going to define my own success and let it come from within, rather than let society or other people define me. ❤️🇬🇧

    • @Lily-qu5ci
      @Lily-qu5ci Год назад +4

      yesss!

    • @luisv7117
      @luisv7117 Год назад +5

      Why we have to change to make others happy? why they don't change to make us happy?

    • @crazychicken4063
      @crazychicken4063 Год назад +4

      @@luisv7117 nobody needs to change just to make another happy. We need to accept one another for who we are, and be kind and caring, ... We all have areas where we could grow and we need to give encouragement to one another and space so that the growth can happen

  • @itsmewende
    @itsmewende Год назад +84

    At 64, I've learned that what I did that didn't work out as I hoped, thought, expected is still a success. It taught me what not to do when trying it again. Friends come and go for all reasons, no matter if I have 1 or 100, I'm still a happy girl. I used to always think I needed a friend when I wanted go off and do something for fun, yrs ago I had to go by myself, I learned I had as fun with me that I did sharing the day with a friend. Wishing everyone a most successful 2023, no matter how you judge it by.

  • @АнастасияБеспалова-б6ш

    With the beginning of the war in mu country, my family and I were forced to move to other country. We left our homes and work. It is not easy... At nights I don't sleep long, so many mixed thoughts in my head , so many worries in my heart about children and their future. Paola, we don't know each other, I am just one of thousands people who watches Your videos. But You are my friend, because You help me to keep my spirit up. Your videos help me so much. Thank You!

  • @sandrazboinski6473
    @sandrazboinski6473 Год назад +57

    I have retired and now I am looking to learn of this person I am...I seek to find balance in my life, live kindly and be open to God's whisper.

  • @dreambeeyoga4186
    @dreambeeyoga4186 Год назад +64

    This channel is one of those magical places that I can come to when I am sad and down, but also when I am happy and feeling great! It is a place that comforts me in all of all of my human phases. Thank you Paola for the comfort you bring me!

  • @lianapalumbo8457
    @lianapalumbo8457 Год назад +40

    My ideas on success have changed drastically over time. Having a great big home with all the fanciest things, nice cars and expensive clothing means nothing if you are miserable.
    Having to start over with nothing and 4 young children, for me success is seeing my babies grow into incredible adults. They're compassionate, proud, happy, healthy people. That's the best success in my life. Then there's buying my first home, rescuing animals, having loving and close relationships with my children. Finally opening my Etsy store. Learning that I'm not the total weirdo I was always told I was. This is me and I'm ok with that 😊 xx

  • @Gwaycee
    @Gwaycee Год назад +28

    Lucky kitty cat, she gets to listen in on the stories and also run around the house with painted paws. That's honest living! 😺

    • @Paola_merrillOnTelle_gram.
      @Paola_merrillOnTelle_gram. Год назад

      👆Congratulations ♥️
      I have something for you🎁
      Find me here👆h

    • @aurora6920
      @aurora6920 Год назад +2

      This is why i love cats, they take so much interest in what you do, mine would even watch me draw 🥰

  • @songbird3094
    @songbird3094 Год назад +11

    I believed growing up, that I would get married and have a family. I was never interested in a big house, fancy car or a high flying career. It's what I truly wanted. Unfortunately I never met the right man for this to happen. I'm a mature woman and really felt I'd failed in life, until recently. I now realise I own my own (small) home and car. I can pay my bills, eat well and allow myself a treat if I want something. I've dealt with so many health issues most of my life. I didn't give up, even though I wanted to, many times. That is my success, of course I'd have loved someone to share my life with, but I made it this far on my own. Something I never thought possible, even 10 years ago. ♥️

  • @TheCottageFairy
    @TheCottageFairy  Год назад +334

    Happy New Year!! 🥰 When I'm talking about 'success' here, I'm curious about what messages we each received growing up about what it is to be a successful adult and someone of which we can be proud (specifically in the area of your career and lifestyle). I am curious if you feel that we often focus on things that may not actually bring us lasting joy, or if it has actually been something that has helped you on your path. I don't have the answers here, but I think together we could offer some interesting perspectives. Perhaps for you being successful is cultivating a loving family, practicing kindness to yourself and others, or being more mindful... maybe it is the work you and your career, or helping others. I really couldn't say, but I'm trying to learn a little more each day ❤

    • @NateshasAmbience
      @NateshasAmbience Год назад +21

      When it comes to social norms, success seems to be a one-size-fits-all thing: A suburban home, spouse, kids, dog/cat, and a high paying career so we can buy all of the luxurious things in life. To me, success is living a life that makes me happy, doing what I love, and enjoying the simple things like spending time with loved ones.

    • @lizziefrances
      @lizziefrances Год назад +16

      My kids taught me the importance a positive experience has for cultivating success. This was an intangible struggle for me prior to helping them discover a balanced sense of self. When we listen to the lessons we try to impart to very small children - life is truth, beauty and goodness - and compare it to the spiritual and material demands of the world around us, the contradiction is jarring.
      By striving to live by the ideals of truth, beauty and goodness my nearly adult children have a surety about them that they receive from the world what they give to it and the material needs are met almost by default of the way they move through their world.
      I have become very used to defending unconventional or de-institutionalised life choices and have been rewarded with my critics recognising the virtues of forging a path that fits your spirit and being strong enough to defy external pressures to confirm to others' ideals.
      The inner work we must do to cultivate awareness and humility is a learning that never ends; it helps in no small way to observe your offerings along your journey, Paula. Thank you for being you.

    • @Bluewaterpinessantarosabeach
      @Bluewaterpinessantarosabeach Год назад +11

      Having an elder who nurtures your growth and abilities, one who sees you as you are without trying to force something upon you is vitally important. My Papa was from Portugal and was my best friend. He showed me love. Love in the most basic form. Hand to hand giving and receiving . He had many many friends and goats that would go for a Sunday drive in the back of a classic black limousine. I miss.

    • @Bluewaterpinessantarosabeach
      @Bluewaterpinessantarosabeach Год назад +1

      @@lizziefrances yes indeed. All three are a compass to navigate any landscape. ❤

    • @tomas5376
      @tomas5376 Год назад +9

      Love is far more important than material possessions. My parents taught me to treat others as I wanted to be treated. They taught me that everyone is equal. They taught me to be honest and humble and to be willing to help those in need. By living this way, I was very successful, was always my own boss, and enjoyed life to the fullest.

  • @chambielion70
    @chambielion70 Год назад +65

    My Dad taught us , if we have done a good thing for at least one person in a day we were successful .Though he is long gone I try to live by his words . If we are thinking of others we are not dwelling on ourselves . Even a loving phone call to an isolated or sick person may change their day .By helping others you help yourself to live a successful life .

  • @Jebe_Scotlandiaries
    @Jebe_Scotlandiaries Год назад +118

    Watching you is so therapeutic Paola. :) As I grow older, I realized that success is not like what other people define : attaining possession, fame, money, position, etc. For me, success is being faithful to God's calling in your life, in all aspects. It is doing what God told you to do and glorifying Him, whatever you do, wherever you are.

  • @flowergirl7260
    @flowergirl7260 Год назад +6

    I feel success is just being yourself in a world that is constantly trying to change you and your nature.

  • @thardia
    @thardia Год назад +98

    For the longest time of my life, success meant to me to make others happy, to make their lifes easier. I loved life - being alive - a lot, so it came to me in such an ease to help people wherever I could. I'm a very sensitive and attentive person, so it felt as natural as breathing to me and I just wanted to make sure that everybody's having a great time, that everyone was able to see beauty and wonder in the world just as I did.
    Now, in 2023, I'm entering my fifth year of living with depression. Part of what caused it was that I, in stressful times that came with university, moving etc., always looked after others, but forgot to look after myself - or ignored this need, telling myself that I had to somehow "earn" to be happy, to relax, to take breaks and to pursue what I love. And at some point, my energy level just ran empty, but I did not stop until my body pretty much forced me to. I thought that, if I would run fast enough, I'd eventually arrive - in the past, where my happiness lied and all the beautiful things in the world that I knew where still there, but I couldn't see them with my soul anymore. It took me quite a while to realize that I had to move at my own pace in order to arrive anywhere. Therapy was a great help for me, but I am still learning and there are definitely a lot of ups and downs still (and will always be). Now, success means to me to listen to myself, to do the best I can everyday and to always make sure to put my health first - and also to always remember, that putting myself first does not mean that I cannot make others happy. But I cannot help others if I am in dire need as well. So that's what I learned - and also, that we tend to project concepts of success on ourselves that are not our own but the ones from our friends, familiy, surrounding. So I find it quite helpful to ask myself on a regular basis, what I really strive and what I want to do. And if that is to drink a huge can of coffee, read a good book and cuddle with my cat all day, then it was a successfull one. :)
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Paola! Your videos, your kind and mindful thoughts and the aesthetic you bring (sometimes I just look at aesthetially pleasing pictures to soothe myself) always bring peace to my heart and soul and calm the storm inside.
    Wishing you all the best out there! It really does get better.

    • @cherylgoff8955
      @cherylgoff8955 Год назад

      Yesterday I heard something that relates a little bit to what you are saying. Put on your own oxygen mask first...

    • @North-of-the-49th
      @North-of-the-49th Год назад +9

      Thanks for sharing @Alena. There's a lot to say for cuddling with your feline 🐈 all-day! No guilt.

    • @janelesniak1817
      @janelesniak1817 Год назад +6

      I spent my life taking care of others and always worrying about others...not me. I get depressed because I can't help others ...

    • @phyllisharries2742
      @phyllisharries2742 Год назад +8

      Wishing you peace and happiness.

    • @angelesmilan8203
      @angelesmilan8203 Год назад +4

      Amate mucho corazón, tu eres lo mas importante, desde ahí es desde donde se puede dar, de estar colmada, a eso no nos enseñaron y es preciso aprenderlo, amate, valora te, respetate, di no cuando quieras decir no, piensa, siente, y haz con coherencia esa es la clave, la sociedad nos lleva erróneamente a dar desde la carencia, desde el buenísimo, olvidándonos de lo propio, y enfermamos por agotamiento, y es al revés de lo que nos enseñan, mucho ánimo y mucho amor propio!!!!, un abrazo 🙏💜

  • @user-oz7qg2nx1d
    @user-oz7qg2nx1d Год назад +2

    While the majority of people in our acquisitive society hold the firm believe that the yardstick for success is either affluence or Prestige they believe so firmly that if you have a prestigious job and live a lavish lifestyle you're defined as successful, however, what they lose sight of is the fact that even if you have all these materialistic things you can still feel hollow within. My unwavering conviction is that success isn't measured by wealth but rather by achieving the goals you've strived for even after failure and success boils down to how fulfilled you're with your life so as long as you've reached your highest assets and attained success through passion rather than fear you're successful.
    I just wanted to give my two cents on this and thanks for all the profound insights you've shared. ❤❤❤

  • @annkilian467
    @annkilian467 Год назад +19

    Success is being present…in the moment…as much as possible. 🙏🏼🧡

  • @PinkSalsaa
    @PinkSalsaa Год назад +4

    Not a lot of people let me speak, but if they did let me speak and express myself I could have my dream life. I often let people take advantage of me, so to be successful for me is to let me express myself and guard me from all of those who don’t want me to.

  • @annmurray6494
    @annmurray6494 Год назад +13

    I was just thinking of this very thing today. To me success is simply serving God and other people.

  • @lilasday1797
    @lilasday1797 Год назад +59

    At 49 years old I have recently learned what you are expressing in this video. What great knowledge to have at such a young age. Keep shining light into this existence ❤

  • @LadysFarm
    @LadysFarm Год назад +55

    Wow I love that title. Unlearning what success is. Absolutely love it. I fought for over 30 years what success is living in the city of Southern California. Fighting for the big job that big house that fancy car. Now I’m living my best life and my definition of success is living free!

    • @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت
      @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت Год назад

      Hello, my sister, I hope you will answer my message. I aspire to buy cold clothes and I have no money. Please help me. I am from the country of Morocco. You are a kind person. Please help me. Please help me. I will not forget this favor for you, the most beautiful person.

  • @kelliesmith4068
    @kelliesmith4068 Год назад +29

    Success has been defined & redefined depending on the stage of life. As a child I was very quiet & loved my alone time (still do), which ran counter to the success of having many friends. Now, in my 60's, I realize the peace my aloneness brings me. Success now is serving my neighbors & family...dinner for a young mother's family brings her rest & feelings of being cared for, which in turn fills her heart so she can more abundantly serve her family. Success is having dear friends over for a visit & dessert. Success is most of all the peace in my heart... that I am healing from childhood abuse... that today I do what I can do, which some days, being filled with physical limitations due to age & pain, may merely consist of a shower, getting dressed & resting so as I have energy to make myself dinner. My definition of success is fluid, depending on my physical capacity thru the days, weeks & months. Ultimately, Peace in my heart is success & it is sweet to have an abundance of success at this time in my life. Love & Blessing to all. 😊❤️

  • @fatimazahrah3995
    @fatimazahrah3995 Год назад +107

    This video couldn’t have come at a more perfect time, Paola. I completely agree with the idea that success was defined by others for us our whole lives. I want to break free from that. For me, success means healing myself and my mind. For me, success is figuring out what I like and what makes me feel full and alive and conscious and doing more of that. It is finding what makes me feel lighter and sharing that with others. This year, there’s so much I want to do but I am focusing on addressing my mental and physical health and bettering myself from within so I can be a better guide for myself.

    • @bearcat2020
      @bearcat2020 Год назад +7

      Like your comment. Thanks for sharing. Taking the time to get to know yourself better, away from others a outside distractions. is good. It helps with our health, physical, mental, emotional, Being true to oneself . Important to care for others, animals, nature ....balance it out best you can and keep on trying, learning, finding peace a happiness in simple things, lasting things like special moments, animals, nature, people a taking time to care for ourselves as well. Thanks for sharing and thanks dear one for this heartwarming video. I love talks with my cats!!! Too!! Take care

    • @mysteryacool4111
      @mysteryacool4111 Год назад +1

      yes! ♥lovelyy

  • @autisticNature
    @autisticNature Год назад +45

    I think simply 'being' is a success. being alive, breathing. success sometimes is just to make it to the next day. to try your best no matter how big or small that might look like.
    thank you for your content ❤

  • @justseekingtruth3998
    @justseekingtruth3998 Год назад +54

    I love how one woman put it, being the parent and giving her family the kind of life they don't later have to recover from. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
    I can't say how profound and inspiring that is. Some of us never recover, fully.
    Thank you for being so mindful. 💜

  • @catherinegowan1362
    @catherinegowan1362 Год назад +14

    As a 60 year old grandmother of a 3 year old nothing compares to the joy and contentment she bring me. So fulfilled. Enjoy your day

  • @Erica-en2qz
    @Erica-en2qz Год назад +17

    I also worked at a library during high school, and now I'm a librarian! 😊 To me success means being content, healthy, safe, surrounded by loved ones, and feeling fulfilled by my pursuits and relationships. An added bonus would be if I could take a couple of fun trips/vacations each year and get to see more of the world 🌎

  • @chrislysne1046
    @chrislysne1046 Год назад +39

    I am so impressed by your process. I am 50 and asking myself some very similar questions this year. I wish I had done so at your age. You are an inspiration Paola. Keep shining your light!

  • @KristenMcNamara
    @KristenMcNamara Год назад +56

    Paola, you make the world a better place and we love you so much! ❤ Happy New Year! 💋

  • @christymason8253
    @christymason8253 Год назад +11

    To be who you are, your authentic self, and to leave this world a little better for having lived.

  • @susangridley8354
    @susangridley8354 Год назад +15

    As someone who has always struggled with mental illness, I spent most time and energy just getting through life without working very hard at being successful in a wider sense. At 67 I am still experiencing depression and anxiety quite often so I often feel like a failure because I have to continually reinvent how I navigate through my days. I suppose what I absorbed was the happily ever after mythos. You chart your path, marriage, children, a career or a combination of some or all of those things and then you have a happy life. And if you're not happy it's because you're not doing something right. I don’t do New Year resolutions but I do spend time reflecting on the past year and contemplating what I might want to bring into my life. This year my very wise daughter said that what you want to leave behind could be equally or possibly more important than what you want to change. That hit me right between the eyes and has shifted me focus significantly. Now that I think about it I suppose raising a wise young woman in spite of my shortcomings as a mother makes me a success in anyone's book.

    • @rrhines3151
      @rrhines3151 Год назад +3

      Most of us feel like we have shortcomings as mothers, as none of our children come with instruction manuals! I believe I tried my best; my daughter… not so much. Be kind to yourself! 🙏🏻 I am trying a gentler approach with myself.

  • @amaltheamyst
    @amaltheamyst Год назад +35

    Society’s version of success is based on capitalism and hustle culture. It is so important for us to unlearn this and figure out what makes us feel successful! Thank you for sharing yet another beautiful video! ❤

  • @s.b200
    @s.b200 Год назад +19

    Such a deep and lovely topic

  • @robynp8697
    @robynp8697 Год назад +1

    Painting and talking to the cat sounds like a wonderful way to spend the afternoon!

  • @meldelger4754
    @meldelger4754 Год назад +12

    Success to me now is being able to care for myself, husband & dogs since age 18, having graduated from college & graduate school and being continually employed. Other than my husband and I relying on one another I have never asked for help from anyone. Being responsible and living an humble & honest life is success to me. I am 71 yrs old but I definitely learn much from your shared insights & experiences, Paola. Thank you. Peace.

  • @mariagoranova7642
    @mariagoranova7642 Год назад +29

    Salutations, Paola! May you have a year full of joy, fulfilment, experiences and love! Your heart is very beautiful and I thank you for sharing it with us ❤️

  • @NormalisBoring4291
    @NormalisBoring4291 Год назад +37

    This is a very timely video for me as these holidays have brought the realisation that my health is really not as good as I've been convincing myself it is, possibly even to the point of having a chronic condition that I will just never "get better" from. So I've been reflecting myself on what the meaning of life is if I'm just *never* able to work, what a true happy path might look like for me, and how i feel about it all. Truth be told, if I do have something chronic that rules out my career goals entirely, I'm not actually too disappointed by that. I am happiest at home taking care of myself and working on little creative things, and volunteering when I'm able in the field I wanted to work in anyways, and I think it will actually be a relief to not have to force myself into following all of the "conventional" milestones in life regarding career and money. I will live a life that is quiet and peaceful, and even if it's not traditionally "successful", it will be enough

  • @joanndavenport8580
    @joanndavenport8580 Год назад +11

    I worked in a library while in high school too. I’ve been a lifelong lover of books. Always fun to learn what others are reading. Please continue to share your book titles as my goal for 2023 is to increase my book consumption.

  • @1925garden
    @1925garden Год назад +59

    What you said is so true: as children we absorb a sense of what success is, from advertising, our parents, and people around us. Then as we mature we develop and refine a deeper internal sense of what success is. It's a lifelong process and I admire how you have such a strong understanding of this, at this point in your life.

  • @siobhanmacm
    @siobhanmacm Год назад +4

    I’m in my late sixties and fell for trying to live my mother’s definition of success. She believed you had to be materially successful with a great education- the latter she was denied because of the necessity of providing for her brothers. It was a different world then.
    Well, I didn’t manage to be successful by her definition and spent years feeling ‘less than’, a failure.
    Now I am much older I define success by my own yardstick. I have three, well adjusted successful daughters who have never given trouble. That is huge success and was extremely important to me having come from a truly dysfunctional background.
    I have achieved success in other areas of my life that I feel proud of.
    But n the end of the day it’s an inner feeling of harmony that I define as success. It comes from finding joy in whatever I am doing. Playing in the kitchen is one, thrifting another ( so much fun!) reading, being in nature, my spiritual path. Communing with kindred spirits. The more true joy we can radiate to our environment the more true goodness we allow to flow through us, the more we tip the balance of darkness in the world.
    This necessitates accepting the times we don’t feel that way, and allowing ourselves to feel our emotions fully so they can move on and the sun can shine again for and through us. This is balance. Living in the flow.
    This is my definition of success. ❤❤❤

  • @storytimeatgrannysplace9273
    @storytimeatgrannysplace9273 Год назад +45

    Success for me is Practicing the Presence of God….
    I read Brother Lawrence’s book while in high school, and it remains my true and steady Anchor.
    Thank you for your amazing photography, soothing messages, and insights far beyond your years!🤗

    • @TheCottageFairy
      @TheCottageFairy  Год назад +3

      Thank you very much ❤ warm wishes

    • @user-mf4xc1dw5y
      @user-mf4xc1dw5y Год назад +2

      Yes I read that too. A wonderful book, thank you for reminding me about Practicing the Presence of God. My soul finds rest in God in the midst of this life although that is something to be practised as the title says 😊

  • @ingalien8102
    @ingalien8102 Год назад +15

    When I think of personal successes, my favourite feeling that I have defined for myself a while ago is RELIEF. It's the best feeling, in many different circumstances. The sigh of relief of arriving at a destination, finally, after a long journey: figuratively and literally. When I am struggling with my studies or any other hardship, I imagine myself achieving the goal and feeling relieved. That's what I am dreaming of now, after three very difficult years. I just turned 30 this week and still don't feel like I've achieved what I have always dreamed of. On the other hand, I feel much more self-assured and know myself better than when I was 20.

  • @60greyhairandsparkles21
    @60greyhairandsparkles21 Год назад +16

    Hi Paola, thank you for shining a light on this important subject. I grew up working class, with strong messages of scarcity. To be successful I needed to be a famous ballerina!! And become rich lol! Needless to say this didn’t happen for me and I have never been financially secure, no matter how hard I worked. At 61 I work on being present, kind and to get through each day.....Im successful if I have walked my dogs and eaten well. On another topic, I’m excited to receive your book soon! I asked a friend to pop in to your shop and say hi to you from me in NZ but sadly you weren’t in that day.... so hi from me and thank you ❤

  • @molliemunn6200
    @molliemunn6200 Год назад +4

    Currently as a mom of 15 and a wife of 25 years success is Peace inner and outer

  • @catherineleslie-faye4302
    @catherineleslie-faye4302 Год назад +5

    I find success in the completion of projects that include tools and materials that cam from my friends or are going to my friends. For me it is all about community and building a sustainable beautiful world.

  • @rrhines3151
    @rrhines3151 Год назад +15

    Good health, a purpose for your life which aligns with your soul, reliable caring family & friends, safe warm shelter, books 📚 a sense of curiosity about yourself and others, honoring nature… feeling comfortable in your own skin (does that count?) enough funds for essentials and a bit of fun!🎉Those are the first items that popped into my head about “success.” I felt differently when younger…

  • @catherine5541
    @catherine5541 Год назад +7

    My first job was as a volunteer at my high school library. Looking back, that was one of the happiest times of my life. I decorated the display window in the hallway outside of the library, repaired books, and every other job associated with a library. My 2nd best job was also a volunteer position, but this time , it was at our local town library where I ran the Book Nook. This little room held items for sale that our patrons donated. Books, Magazine, CD’S, art work, puzzles etc. All the proceeds went for special programs. I have held many other paid positions, but I felt the most pride and satisfaction with my volunteer jobs.

  • @syddybiddy
    @syddybiddy Год назад +4

    I define success as being happy. Waking up and being grateful that i’m here and excited to start the new day.

  • @debbrink6523
    @debbrink6523 Год назад +20

    To me you express within yourself a feeling of “an old soul”. The way you live simply, love of antiques, have a very calming effect are the epitome of that. Your way of doing yourself justice in self examination is to be admired. I love your videos so please keep on with them. Sending warm thoughts from Ontario Canada ❤️.

  • @martinegoddyn6631
    @martinegoddyn6631 Год назад +7

    To me, succes is overcoming the blows life gives you from time to time, teach my grandchildren to read and write, being independent and be thankful every day and night for all the good things I receive. Much inspired by you, Paola 😊

  • @sallybeesley4170
    @sallybeesley4170 Год назад +6

    I will be 70 years old this spring and success to me was raising a family. Better said would be; creating new human beings and nurturing them, protecting them, and watching them grow into the unique individuals they were meant to be. Other than basic values - be kind, be honest, be thoughtful of others, etc. - I never tried to mold them into anything specific. I let them explore, learn, discover. Certainly my own biases snuck in there, but I was ok if they found other interests. Success to me is now there are 4 wonderful, good, honest humans in the world. Added to that are grandchildren, but that's another story.
    I've traveled throughout the world, been "successful" in my career, accomplished many things and had many dreams come true. But they all fall way way short of the satisfaction, deep contentment, and joy I have now because I was a mother.

  • @Carlie12345
    @Carlie12345 Год назад +6

    Every time I watch a video of yours, I realize at the end that I’ve been smiling. You are supportive, entertaining, charming, and thank you for all you do! You probably don’t even realize it…💗

  • @reneehubbard9027
    @reneehubbard9027 Год назад +12

    My idea of success has changed over the years. I've come to believe now that it is to strive for self love, self acceptance, forgiving myself, inner peace and health. This is the 1st time in my life I'm putting myself and my happiness first. Your weekly vlogs have been part of my self awareness journey. Thank you for your wise words.

  • @zimamraz6293
    @zimamraz6293 Год назад +1

    I have read some of the comments and all are nice written from the heart ♥. My success is my dother, whis she's 2 years old. I had a dream in my yung age. A terrible dream that I will never become a mother. And that dream has planted the biggest fear which had blocked my body. But with age of 42 I have achieved biggest success in my life. Becoming mum.

  • @carolinerosacker8668
    @carolinerosacker8668 Год назад +4

    My success is measured by my level of kindness and compassion that I show toward myself, others, and the earth. Some days I do better than others, but I try to resist shaming myself. I try to keep my heart open to forgiveness.

  • @trishjordan8859
    @trishjordan8859 Год назад +1

    I am 66 years old an retired so my goals have adjusted with age monumentally. My goals each day revolve around survival. Getting my chores done daily. Taking care of my home, my cats, my garden, the many creatures share it with me and the select people who are still in my life. A goal to everyday remember it will all get done eventually and not to become overwhelmed. And to take moments to recognize it when I am totally happy, peaceful, and oh so grateful. 🥰💞 I no longer have what you would consider long term goals only vague floating wishes that change with the day.😉

  • @TayTayish101
    @TayTayish101 Год назад +3

    Success to me is being able to find the joy in the current moment and appreciate the life you already live, while also putting no limit on the future.😊

  • @carolefox6553
    @carolefox6553 Год назад +1

    I've learned that success, like many other things, is individual. We cannot abdicate responsibility by going along with what we THINK others think. Success requires self knowledge, creativity and responsibility. For instance, we cannot set goals we want to reach, but not be willing to do the needed work. Equally destructive is setting our sights too low, really just settling, because of fear or lack of confidence. When wanting to be the best version of ourselves, we cannot rely on 'fairy godmothers'. For me sucess is growing into authenic maturity. And, when married, we must do this in tandem with our spouse. It's a process that takes a lifetime. The key is to stay on the path.

  • @maloreally
    @maloreally Год назад +4

    So much of this video resonated. I find it difficult to unlearn notions of success or behaviors that counter my well-being but that fall into the general category of "necessary for success." This means pushing myself beyond my limits and into severe burnout, never feeling like I have done enough, thinking instead negatively about what I have, and taking it for granted because it is not "where I should be." Not being one for resolutions, this year, I have decided to focus on a word that represents what I want in 2023. Respect is the word that spoke to me. I want to be the kind of person I would respect; my respect is given to those who live according to their values-which is what this video is about! Thank you, as always, for sharing. You encourage me to honor my quiet self and live more authentically according to my values.

  • @glennaknights267
    @glennaknights267 Год назад +13

    Happy New Year, gentle soul. I love your quiet introspections. My definition of success is:
    *to be able to fall asleep at night with a clear conscience
    *knowing that good people are happy to see you
    *that most days you've accomplished most of what you set out to do
    *you have a roof over your head, food on the table, and people who love you
    *you've made the most of the gifts you were born with.

  • @ACottageGirl
    @ACottageGirl Год назад +9

    As an almost 56 yo woman, I felt I would be successful if I became famous and stayed thin {I achieved neither} If I told my mom this now {she passed 10 years ago}, I think she would be horrified that I got that message from home. Culture was a huge part of defining what a successful woman was as well…. Beautiful, married, obedient children. Career wasn’t a huge thing for my generation yet, tho I was expected to go to college. I dropped out in my first semester , pregnant. From the outside, now, I feel successful in the sense that we’ve been married 37 years, raised 6 kids, and enjoy 8 grandlittles. Trying to pivot now into what to do next in my life. Success to me now means being comfortable with ‘me’…a constantly evolving human.

    • @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت
      @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت Год назад

      Hello, my sister, I hope you will answer my message. I aspire to buy cold clothes and I have no money. Please help me. I am from the country of Morocco. You are a kind person. Please help me. Please help me. I will not forget this favor for you, the most beautiful person.

  • @nigellutze9981
    @nigellutze9981 Год назад +1

    I am twice your age and yet I feel as though my thoughts are close to yours.
    Success in life is so individual. My thoughts changed when I was 35 and realised that I wanted to profit from life rather than making a profit for someone else who owns a mansion, a yacht and has influenced a politician. It took me to leave the church to become more Christian in the truer sense.
    Yes, we need money to live. Yes, we need the basics and they are worth working hard for but at what cost? I saw a saying the other day which said ' for everything you gain you lose something else'. Be careful what you wish for as it can have a lifetime of ripple effects.
    I am enough and I have enough. I am enormously grateful and thankful for how life has worked out but like you, cottage fairy, the journey was rough and still goes on.

  • @lieslherman
    @lieslherman Год назад +19

    Within the last few years I really embraced loving a life that is much simpler and different than what I imagined in my childhood, and it has been SO freeing. ❤️ This year I want to embrace the chaos of my kids' current ages, and just have fun!!

    • @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت
      @حرفإبداعيةفي5قائق-غ3ت Год назад

      Hello, my sister, I hope you will answer my message. I aspire to buy cold clothes and I have no money. Please help me. I am from the country of Morocco. You are a kind person. Please help me. Please help me. I will not forget this favor for you, the most beautiful person.

  • @luludi3
    @luludi3 Год назад +28

    Paola, you are constant inspiration to me. I've watched your videos since your beginning, I found you with your video about making paper. I have kept going with my little artistic soap making because every week your kind and wise words speak to my soul. I have all the art prints I've bought from you framed and they inspire my little girl too. She loves art and nature. I remind her that she can be an artist and still live close to the woods too.

  • @carolyngethings
    @carolyngethings Год назад +11

    Happy New Year Paola! I've just celebrated my 66th birthday and my definition of success now is so very different to what it was in my younger years. Perhaps that's because I feel secure and happy in most areas of my life. I guess that means I've achieved some success. I'm surrounded by family, friends and lots of interesting people. I have a loving husband, a modest but comfortable home, a loyal old dog and good health. I don't want for anymore except for others to enjoy what I am lucky enough to have.

  • @mollypaintscows
    @mollypaintscows Год назад +2

    Your camera person is very good. It must take quite a while for you to create your videos. ❤. They are much appreciated.

  • @asciscomagic
    @asciscomagic Год назад +6

    Success to me is listening to your soul and be brave enough to be guided by the divine light we all have in us at every stage of our lives or even at every given moment. To be willing to do what is needed in the world around you with love and dedication. And becoming yourself and growing into yourself more and more. Thank you Paola, you are a real fairy indeed.

  • @phyllisharries2742
    @phyllisharries2742 Год назад +2

    Dear Paola, Happy new year! Wow! It certainly looks very cold there, you have more snow than you know what to do with!😊 in Europe the ski season has been thwarted because of the lack of snow! I always look at a new year as being a blank sheet of paper, put aside/forget the negative things of the past, where possible, and look forward with positivity. Life is definitely not straight forward or black and white but it is useful to use this as a challenge rather than be defeated by setbacks! A useful book, that was published last year by Julia Kristina called ‘Drive your own bus’ is very good and contains a multitude of amazing helpful life tips. Julia Kristina can also be found on RUclips. I also love antique shops, can’t resist rummaging and the one you visited looked particularly interesting! Wrap up warm and take care and I look forward to seeing you next week. ❤ ps your kitten has grown and is so cute!

  • @rachaelmarks3865
    @rachaelmarks3865 Год назад +6

    My first job in high school was also at a library! I felt pretty proud of it, too, because it was walkable from my house and it saved me from being a bagger at the local grocery store. It was quiet, and much more tranquil than working in retail, and even at that age, I knew I would do much better in that environment. Over the years, I've kept trying steer myself, whenever possible, into situations where I can thrive, and have learned to accept myself more in that context. So that's a slow achievement of "success" that I am proud of.

  • @basslover1345
    @basslover1345 Год назад +1

    I have been pretty much alone for the past 2 years by choice. I am still working a little too much because it is my nature I guess, but little by little getting myself out of the rat race. I love your way of living and I hope one day find someone with same line of thinking of yours. You are a beautiful young woman with beautiful soul. God bless you and your family.

  • @jillianmasse8589
    @jillianmasse8589 Год назад +3

    I have have started to define success for myself as being not stressed and content, enjoying slowness and quietness.

  • @kathyparker316
    @kathyparker316 Год назад

    Success to me is that I somehow raised two responsible, smart, loving and generous adults, who are very kind and bring me so much joy.

  • @lisapardini3594
    @lisapardini3594 Год назад +9

    To be healthy, content, working a job to support yourself, and making a cozy home for yourself are a few of the things I think makes one successful. Navigating life's challenges with grace and perseverance makes me feel successful as well. Being an example of love and kindness is more worthy of defining success than any big salary, title, or amount of wealth.

  • @NateshasAmbience
    @NateshasAmbience Год назад +1

    Let's see. My version of success is: Having time and location freedom. Squirrelling away snacks and meal ingredients in preparation for a South Dakotan snowstorm. Staying in for a few days sipping tea and hot chocolate until the roads are plowed (doing this right now). Walking the property of my complex to check out the storm's aftermath and filming it - I did that yesterday!!! Driving again after the storm when I deem it's safe for me. Working on things I enjoy as a freelancer and gig worker. Making sure I'm available to volunteer. And spoiling my Mom so much that she can hardly take it! (I'm a Mama's girl to the core.) Wow, I guess I already am successful! 🤔 Thanks for helping me see that!!! 😃❤👏🏽🎊

  • @saraheathfield9750
    @saraheathfield9750 Год назад +5

    To me success is building a life that creates space for REST, wellness, and creative/personal fulfillment while still meeting my practical needs (food, a safe comfortable home etc) That would be my highest achievement 🏆

  • @cadencefournier9725
    @cadencefournier9725 Год назад

    Success is waking up every morning and having the courage to face another day.

  • @annearmagh
    @annearmagh Год назад +4

    To get that right work life balance where i can spend time on my health and time with friends and family. Thank you Paola! xxx

  • @wendymurray4484
    @wendymurray4484 Год назад +1

    Success is becoming a more compassionate and patient person. I also want to develop personal traits of strength and courage to help me overcome the trials in life, big or small, that we all face at one time or another.

  • @EME-ew7qo
    @EME-ew7qo Год назад +10

    For me i hope the new year gives me more energy to go outside, to the woods, looking and feeling on the sleeping trees, look for natures details. Every season has their own details, every weather its own and so on. That is success for me, this year.
    Thank's for the video, i really love your channel! It's so warm, calming and inspirational!
    Much love from Sweden!

  • @amyszybala1180
    @amyszybala1180 Год назад

    At the age of 73 I believe that living a successful life is a life that has learned to be content in each day and a life that is lived pleasing to God.

  • @108indira
    @108indira Год назад +7

    Success is understanding that you're not the body but spirit soul and acting accordingly. Happy New year!

  • @sadiekromm3692
    @sadiekromm3692 Год назад +2

    My family enjoys unhealthy hustle, especially at the hand of watching other's struggle. It has influenced me greatly. They are not the biggest believers of mental health, outside of my mother who supports me dearly. I probably have had one too many visits to the hospital because of mental breakdowns. It can often be incredibly hard to not fall back into the pattern of exhausting yourself for the sake of people pleasing. I most definitely dived into the depths of Impostor syndrome right out of the gate .. I feel like I lost a lot of my youth internally, even though I have not made it to my 30's yet. Just this past year, I left a 'dream job' that was considered 'higher profile' due to workplace bullying and harassment. It was the first time where I felt like I finally took control of my life ... and brought a wave of confidence into other facets. It truly, in my opinion, comes down to boundaries that you set for yourself and others .. and practice and check in on them 💕💕 The quote "If you don't pick a day to relax, your body will do it for you."
    It's incredibly sad to know that most nooks on the internet are promoting this sort of grind as if we are apart of a puppy mill. Thank you for using your platform for such good. You're a gem, and if anyone hasn't told you this today ... you are helping a lot of people through your honesty. Much love + good health to you, your husband, and family! xx

  • @enchantedscot
    @enchantedscot Год назад +8

    I think success is a very individual thing and it's meaning certainly changes as you get older. These days I find the most successful people are those who hold a sense of gratitude in their heart's.

  • @susantschirhart7494
    @susantschirhart7494 Год назад

    As a woman who grew up in the 60's and 70's, the message that women can "have it all" meaning be the traditional wife, mother, homemaker AND have an education and successful professional career was drummed into us - all so that we could have the American Dream! you know, big house, two cars in the driveway, fancy annual vacations, lots of things, etc. It's not possible--you do sacrifice something and mostly it's time with your family. Now as a single mother with adult children, I see success as the healthy close relationships that I have with my children, my friends and other family members. It is following a simple lifestyle that provides for my needs. It's the impact my volunteer efforts have on my community. It's the growing knowledge of nature and confidence I have as a hiking and backpacking guide.... it's the love, joy and peace I gain in God's presence and in those around me.

  • @nolongerhooman2341
    @nolongerhooman2341 Год назад +3

    It's coincidental how this video pops up when I've been thinking these days how to unlearn the distorted definition of success that my upbringing taught me.
    Thank you for your hardwork as always!

  • @fairyintothewild8443
    @fairyintothewild8443 Год назад

    Spending a day in my cottage talking to my cats and dog is certainly one of my most successful ways of spending my time as well...

  • @Tumini1026
    @Tumini1026 Год назад +16

    This video came out in the right time. Recently I visited my family and while they were really proud of my career path, they still question why I don't go to uni. My brothers didn't go either and they suffer from that too, even when they're really successful at what they do, so it's really refreshing to hear someone who I admire say that success it's different to everyone. Thank you for this video and I hope your shop keeps growing! I'm an artist too and I love your artwork

  • @curiousnetty534
    @curiousnetty534 Год назад

    At 64, retired and a widow of 11 years I’m settling into a contentment with the things that fulfil me. After a somewhat chaotic and at times tragic life I now feel successful because I have a warm home, enough food and nearby, somewhere my little dogs can run in the sunshine (and rain and mud!) I have a wonderful daughter who lives close by and I feel lucky. Very lucky.

  • @jacquelinezr
    @jacquelinezr Год назад +12

    My hope for this year is to regain my health and strength. Once i do that, I hope to see what God reveals to me and where it leads me so that I can help others in this life and ease the load some carry. I love the kindness in your videos, Paola. Success? Success is living a life loving and helping others, including pets and animals. Stuff is just stuff.. Love is the only thing that is everlasting and fills our souls.

  • @isabelchacon9721
    @isabelchacon9721 Год назад +2

    To me success is living your life in complete harmony with your inner self and accomplish your dreams and goals along the way... Thank you for such a lovely video! 💜 from Chile

  • @laurawilliams5357
    @laurawilliams5357 Год назад +6

    I love antique stores😍

  • @gailsprangers9388
    @gailsprangers9388 Год назад +2

    I used to think success was something very different than I think now. Success to me is just being happy with your life just the way it is and not trying to look for something else. When you keep looking for something "more" it is not only exhausting, stressful, and never satisfying, but you look past what you have. I think where we are is exactly where we're meant to be😊