The Unworthiness Wound

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  • Опубликовано: 25 янв 2025

Комментарии • 126

  • @klattalexis
    @klattalexis 5 лет назад +39

    Many times it is the 'black sheep' (scapegoat) in the family, that is the only one telling the Truth!

  • @rondal7316
    @rondal7316 6 лет назад +41

    It took me 47 years to actually believe it's not me. Thank you, I found you today and I look forward to the hard work and blessings ahead in my journey with you! Thank you so much!

    • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
      @LisaSmith-yb2uz 4 года назад +2

      😃👍 that must be the lucky number!!! 🙏💓 (i am also 47!)

    • @becky516
      @becky516 3 года назад

      I was too!

  • @CountissMcBeevie
    @CountissMcBeevie 7 лет назад +68

    This is true for so many of us and it’s so sad so many of us have built lives not of our own design but based on the wounds and fears and judgement of those who were supposed to love us unconditionally. I’m 46 and just realizing this about my own life and I’ve done so much inner work as it relates to this, but sometimes understanding something intellectually isn’t enough. You have to integrate the understanding for it to sink in and transform you. You always hit the nail on head, Candace, thank you so much for your validation and spiritual support. 💗🙏🏻

    • @Daniel-pr4uk
      @Daniel-pr4uk 6 лет назад +1

      well said TanyaIrina. something i fould very helpful in going deeper than just intellectual understanding is the profound work of Jeff Foster (lifewithoutacentre) and of Matt Licata (a healing space). both have websites and very penetrating and insightful (and touching) writings on their blogs and on facebook. for me they are the real deal, going straight to the tender and painful truth (very different from all the new age shallow positivity and masks)

    • @kisigma1102
      @kisigma1102 6 лет назад

      💯

    • @annewalker9221
      @annewalker9221 5 лет назад

      TanyaIrina 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

    • @CountissMcBeevie
      @CountissMcBeevie 3 года назад +1

      @Pretty Puppy well I’m 49 now ....lol....you’re a few years late to this post 😛 but yes, as I get older all the pieces start falling into place. You get a much deeper understanding of how and why you work the way you do and all the programs we have been given start to dissolve.

  • @jerome6572
    @jerome6572 Год назад +1

    Candace you informative to me.Candace I respect thee.Candace thank you!!!Jerome

  • @karimamoor2037
    @karimamoor2037 4 года назад +4

    This is my story, I was called every negative word in the universe... ugly, stupid, dump...and the list is long. I m now I feel unworthy of love, I have been chasing love and acceptance all my life until this day.

  • @heliaalves9062
    @heliaalves9062 6 лет назад +15

    Understanding something doesn't mean it's healed, unfortunately. Unworthiness and complete lack of love or any form of affection as a child has definitely lead me down a very painful life path. I wish people who have issues and are not able to properly love or care for another human being would simply not have children. It's just too painful to live, no one deserves to be born to suffer. I'm sure people end up finding coping mechanisms when they become adults and manage to somehow be emotionally aware of their issues, but very few will be able to heal, if any at all. Thank you for the video, I'm so grateful

    • @dariv5615
      @dariv5615 5 лет назад +4

      Yes, never being loved ever is lifelong pain.

    • @randomcompilations201
      @randomcompilations201 6 месяцев назад

      Read untethered soul by micheal singer

  • @latonyamorgan7447
    @latonyamorgan7447 4 года назад +3

    I thank GOD for all of us who got away, and the ones who are still holding on to nothing, please let go its nothing there.

  • @latonyamorgan7447
    @latonyamorgan7447 4 года назад +3

    Im in tears bcuz i know i have a long road ahead of me but i also know that i can do the work on myself in order to be the best version of myself. I just quoted a very powerful statement to myself and it felt so good saying this in the midst of tears but it felt so good saying; "I want to get to know me!" Omg that felt so good just to say this to me. I never said those words to myself bfor. I have to stop putting this off and do the work on me. I think im ready now. I didn't even know i needed work done on myself until dealing with a narcississ. Dealing with a narc explains it all i dont regret it bcus i have learned sooooooo much about myself and narcissism. I just regret not knowing how to deal with him bcus if i had known how to deal with the drama he would have been ran for his life🤣🤣. I thank God bcus it could be alot worse🙏🙏

  • @michellemiddleton1661
    @michellemiddleton1661 6 лет назад +14

    powerful words thank you. i believe mine stems from bullying at school and bullying in the work place this pattern has followed me around for many many years. I'm only just learning how to be with myself not judge myself and not care what others think of me. I am me and i am worthy. thank you for the insights.

    • @elhadjdiallo633
      @elhadjdiallo633 4 года назад +1

      Bullies are jalous of you they just wanna intimidate you and trumatize you .....you are more than enough baby ...take care ...

  • @djpatt81
    @djpatt81 5 лет назад +6

    Me and my mother talked together about moods that run down our family tree it amazed us how chain reaction moods passed down generations and linked to how we feel and experience way we do and we all go through this I actually hugged my mother felt forgiveness pouring into her from me I felt released compression of defects characters.

  • @heathermitchell6920
    @heathermitchell6920 6 лет назад +9

    I love the part about “extremes self alignment and self care” that stuck a chord with me because I think that means to let go of the i should or I need to and just think about what feels good and right to you. It’s so hard because we have so many attachments to those things. I’m trying to trust my intuition and EGS more everyday. It’s confusing sometimes. It gets confusing because of fear and learning to trust and have faith

  • @pthomasgarcia
    @pthomasgarcia 7 лет назад +12

    This resonates so close to home I can't even gather thoughts to express what I feel, except to say thank you.

    • @CandacevanDell
      @CandacevanDell  7 лет назад +1

      P. Thomas Garcia beautiful! You’re so welcome 🙏🏻✨

  • @miip-vs6lb
    @miip-vs6lb 4 года назад +2

    Candance ... spot on!!
    Wow... thank you I
    was told last year in my family issues I am the one who has to heal for all family
    All your videos talk to me, and years and years of counselling, have not work . You do , help me to really heal my self!
    🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

  • @MatthewP1991
    @MatthewP1991 3 года назад

    So insightful, beautiful inside and out. I'm in awe at how wise you are, didn't think I will like you at first, but just hearing you speak convinced me you're on your path and purpose and you know what you're talking about. Amazing 👍🏻

  • @treeseer1573
    @treeseer1573 7 лет назад +15

    Thank you . This is what I’m going through now feeling unworthy based on someone else’s opinion, reaction, or validation of me. It’s uncomfortable and causes anxiety and a need to escape through worry or other actions. I came across your video and suddenly I understood what had been triggered in me, my unworthiness wound. I think this is the main thing I need to heal and do work on. Thank you 🙏

    • @CandacevanDell
      @CandacevanDell  7 лет назад +1

      Sunflowershowers oh so wonderful! I’m so glad you got some clarity ✨✨

    • @mikdal2754
      @mikdal2754 5 лет назад

      all the best wished to you and for you from a a fellow journeyer

  • @TheMmiguelito
    @TheMmiguelito 6 лет назад +3

    DEFINITELY see this universal problem,& as an Emphatic black man in this society,this experience was AMPLIFIED!!!

  • @Angell_Lee
    @Angell_Lee 2 года назад

    Thank you so much, words can't express how grateful I am to have found your channel :)

  • @victorfigueroa6890
    @victorfigueroa6890 5 лет назад +5

    Thank you so much the more I listen to you the more I become aware of my feelings and co dependancy issues

  • @yehiaelyamani6943
    @yehiaelyamani6943 5 лет назад +1

    A neighbor of mine has a 3 yo son. He is determined to raise the boy as good as he can. The boy is subjected to incessant flow of directives from both parents combined with facial and vocal emphasis. The boy now seeks permission to do the most trivial of things, and keeps asking if parents consider him good or not. A few months back the boy started having speech problems (mild stuttering), more evident during stress conditions. I tried advising my neighbour and recommended a speech specialist.

  • @johnlabello919
    @johnlabello919 5 лет назад +3

    Well said Candace! Thanks for clearing this subject up for me. I have a much better understanding where and why this unworthiness wound is coming from. And how parents use their children to not feel the pain themselves and now the pass this burden on to the child. It's a damn shame, isn't it?

  • @divain4257
    @divain4257 4 года назад +1

    Hi Candace. I'm always drawn to cutting edge thought in deep healing. This video along with your solar plexus healing video for highly sensitive people is bull"s eye for me. Thank you for your beautiful insights.

  • @notdefining
    @notdefining 3 года назад +1

    I just want to watch these videos all day Oh my goodness. wow.

    • @CandacevanDell
      @CandacevanDell  3 года назад +1

      Thank you so much!!

    • @notdefining
      @notdefining 3 года назад

      @@CandacevanDell I'm fan crushing so much that you replied. You have got me through one of the hardest times in my life and changed my whole life. Wow I literally can't thank you enough. You're incredible

  • @wouterdesmedt1736
    @wouterdesmedt1736 4 года назад +1

    After watching this my entire being is saying "yes, this is true". Thank you for everything you do here.

  • @MeMe-mt6xv
    @MeMe-mt6xv 3 года назад

    Thank you for addressing this as a generational problem. And your compassion is contagious. I've always had compassion for others, now learning how to have compassion for myself.

  • @oliverschroder3944
    @oliverschroder3944 4 года назад

    You are a very kind heartet spirit Candace ☺️

  • @nancydicarlantonio4307
    @nancydicarlantonio4307 3 года назад

    Thank you for this message . ✨🙏💕

  • @SEwalksX
    @SEwalksX 3 года назад

    Scapegoat here.. Thank you so much!

  • @ojasmehta
    @ojasmehta 3 года назад +1

    Quality content and I love the way you present it

  • @shawnstipe2881
    @shawnstipe2881 6 лет назад +3

    Im experincing gerd and insomnia and suspect it started with emotional and spiritual wounds, but Insomnia is now out of control.

  • @matthewcsizmadi4736
    @matthewcsizmadi4736 7 лет назад +2

    Bright Light!!!!!! LOL like a bright light hitting your eyes it may hurt at first but as soon as the pain leaves you open your eyes and see all. Cheers Candace

  • @johnbehneman1546
    @johnbehneman1546 3 года назад

    I feel in my soul that I have some more healing and forgiveness to do in this area. To achieve more of my goals and dreams in life. Great video and thanks for sharing.

  • @priscilla9995
    @priscilla9995 7 лет назад +4

    Thank you so much! This is so important! Sending love + light to all! ❤️✨

  • @Thetruthistheanswer
    @Thetruthistheanswer 7 лет назад +4

    Everything what you say is helpful. Send you much love 🙏❤️ God bless you.

  • @JustinJohnson-sg4sz
    @JustinJohnson-sg4sz 3 года назад +1

    When I was 5 my mom, her boyfriend, and I were traveling to Arizona. Not sure what lead up to this but I did something that my moms bf felt deserving of an ass whoopin’. I got it pretty good with a belt. I just had this memory resurface last month. It has caused some problems but there’s a memory linked to this one that had an effect on my worthiness. After we arrived, they got in a fight that night. They thought I was sleeping. He ended up punching my mom and giving her a black eye. Because I just got it from him, I was too scared to get up and protect my mom. Those memories brought up unworthiness in me. I felt like even though I was 5 I still should have tried to protect my mom but felt powerless. My hearts pounding typing this out 🥵

  • @alessia_antonia
    @alessia_antonia 7 лет назад +4

    So soft... :) Loved it Candace

  • @laurensanchez4094
    @laurensanchez4094 7 лет назад +2

    I'm Ssssooo incredibly glad I found you and your channel!! You've helped me so much! I love all your content and I've shared them will all my friends and family. Please don't ever stop uploading!!! You've made a positive change in the world and I thank you 🙏🏼💕

  • @faviolafikir2181
    @faviolafikir2181 4 года назад

    So Powerful💛💛💛

  • @bellab8955
    @bellab8955 5 лет назад +1

    this is SO good! Thank you so much. Bless you!

  • @mikerodriguez3995
    @mikerodriguez3995 5 лет назад

    Wonderful help for one that seeks, not all will understand..Denny is the ball and chains..self honesty..goes to every one, if you're wondering about just impaths

  • @notavailable708
    @notavailable708 4 года назад

    5:00 healing starts.

  • @dougslove
    @dougslove 6 лет назад +1

    Love this woman! So grateful for all your brilliant insights Candace. Thank you.

  • @yazansy6641
    @yazansy6641 3 года назад

    You’re an amazing women and the informations you share are so useful and practical.
    And you’re so beautiful too .
    I love you

  • @frankschest8584
    @frankschest8584 2 года назад

    Wow. That's deep ♥️🎉

  • @MJ-ss1ey
    @MJ-ss1ey 7 лет назад +3

    blessings Goddess! I'm dealing with this a lot lately.... thank you for this video, perfect timing.

  • @kardoyle
    @kardoyle 2 года назад

    Wow!!! ❤❤❤thank you!!!

  • @Nancy-td4gf
    @Nancy-td4gf 2 года назад

    Thank you so much ❣️

  • @ludawig
    @ludawig 6 лет назад

    Thank you as always for the content. On a side note, I thought you farted at 2:24!!! Hahah. I mean it's completely normal and valid to do so, I just thought you failed at doing the 'silent maneuvering fart' move. **edit: would make for a great spiritual/comedy skit! Also, the message you're addressing is HUGE- and I actually recently had a super emotional talk with my mom about this. She started crying at one point and apologizing, and then I started to tell her exactly this message while I was crying. It's definitely a cross-generational emotional wound- you're on point. It's a mission of mine to help address this as well. Thank you once again! I feel super pumped about our times.

  • @bree9019
    @bree9019 3 года назад

    i was always so drawn to self improvement, because deep down i feel that i am unworthy the way i already am.
    i know that i have a wound, and i can be a toxic person because of that sometimes, because i never properly learned how to be with my emotions. and one of my beliefes is that only when i will completly heal, when i will become this "perfect spiritual guru", only then i will trully deserving of love.
    self love is part of the journey. how do i accept and feel desrving of love right now the way i already am? i sometimes even percieve myself as a monster, i can be very harsh on myself, and unpetient with myself. i always feel frasterated because i can't be that perfect human right now, and it's seems like a really long way there. because i believe that only when i will be that perfect human i will be deserving of love, and will be deserving of good things in my life.
    part of it it's because i learned as a child that making mistakes could mean death, and therefore i am always harsh on myself when i do mistakes, instead of rising up and learning from them and moving forward, i am very harsh with myself.

  • @Alexandra-wb2pf
    @Alexandra-wb2pf 7 лет назад +7

    A month ago my parents and I were talking on the phone. I asked my dad sth I don't remember now and also asked why and my dad answered that they were hurting and worried because I was loosing shine and children are extension of parents.
    He literally said what you said: "an extension of the parent figure"
    That made me feel so... weird.

  • @elhadjdiallo633
    @elhadjdiallo633 4 года назад +1

    I love everything about myself except i haven't conplte my degree that s all ...iam enough , i have been enough , i shall ever be enough for the rest of my life ..... Love tall all i wish yall the best in life .....

  • @tigerex777
    @tigerex777 6 лет назад +3

    Damn watching so many of Candace's videos I feel like she was born so she could describe and help me with my issues lol

  • @elhadjdiallo633
    @elhadjdiallo633 4 года назад

    Iam more than enough ....i chase love , relationship etc......Alack of self love is the root cause of all suffering in this universe!!!!!!

  • @yarivdavidkohaly4998
    @yarivdavidkohaly4998 4 года назад

    Very true n powerful🔥

  • @chazzabooom
    @chazzabooom 3 года назад

    you, ARE, AMAZING!!!!

  • @askanr1
    @askanr1 5 лет назад

    Damn! You're amazing! Thanks for your videos. So helpful!

  • @paulkerridge6001
    @paulkerridge6001 7 лет назад +3

    You’re ace Candace x

  • @lesliehunsinger7644
    @lesliehunsinger7644 7 лет назад +3

    Thanks so much for this.

  • @dariv5615
    @dariv5615 5 лет назад

    Thank you very much Candice.
    I am eldest child of a raging alcoholic father and a loving mother.
    I am just observing life, while helping others. I am 50 years old, I haven't hated on anyone but myself. I am very kind and understanding and generous. I expect nothing in return, it's the only way I can show love and respect to my few friends.
    No affection sent my way, unless I pushed away, as I am not good enough.
    I have denied myself any romantic relationship by not having boundaries in my home, which I share with my brother. I acyually wanted to live alone 20 years ago thinking that in time I would heal.
    I let him live with me and I put up withn his abuse, very much like my father, and I could not rise up anymore.
    I don't want sympathy, I brought this on myself for not loving myself.
    This should be taken as a lesson.
    Stand up for yourself. I have thought of death so many times and have had a very deep love for this world and it's natural beauty.
    Women were the most beautiful thing, who i always loved. Not all, but most regardless of race.
    But because i felt unworthy, I never stepped up.
    I curse this existance of mine.
    I did have family obligations, school, no money at times, black cloud people, no support, but still I should have met someone.
    Oh well.
    Thank you for letting me vent.
    P.S.
    Even now, at this time, I am learning through reading online and videos like this and I think I will heal. I am very strong and can come back.
    Good luck & peace to all.

    • @noblelove4244
      @noblelove4244 3 года назад

      It’s never too late for love, you’ll find it☺️ I’m proud of you

  • @FeelGoodWithin
    @FeelGoodWithin 7 лет назад +2

    Thankx so much candance!!! Enlightening video

  • @מריםביתן-ש3נ
    @מריםביתן-ש3נ 6 лет назад

    This was a very beautiful video . and helped me understand some childhood difficulties. Thank you.

  • @soscar4880
    @soscar4880 7 лет назад

    Thanks for the video, and the bandaids that I have use in all areas of my life. It is a great perspective and a great help.

  • @christianredfern7685
    @christianredfern7685 6 лет назад +1

    Life right now ... Sincerely in need of a like mind for guidance and wisdom. Every story of life so unique and I cannot wrap my mind around my own.. love peace chicken grease ✌️ how can I gain some insight in my personal or seek in the right direction

  • @susgra21
    @susgra21 5 лет назад +1

    I can still hear my hypercritical dad and stepmom in my head, comparing me to my sisters, never being good enough because I wasn't them...still...and I'm 50!!

  • @katinaW68
    @katinaW68 6 лет назад +5

    This is my story!,,

  • @lisaforeign3878
    @lisaforeign3878 7 лет назад +1

    Thank you ALWAYS!!!

  • @jenniferwood8944
    @jenniferwood8944 5 лет назад

    You really are great!

  • @terrylionheart4662
    @terrylionheart4662 6 лет назад

    Thank you 💜

  • @MrSuperbluesky
    @MrSuperbluesky 5 лет назад

    Thank you

  • @peterbrennan393
    @peterbrennan393 6 лет назад

    this is really useful stuff!!

  • @hassankhazraee9734
    @hassankhazraee9734 6 лет назад

    thanks i need it

  • @lovexx5633
    @lovexx5633 4 года назад

    What if u can't remember

  • @jessicay8928
    @jessicay8928 6 лет назад +1

    You are amazing lovely - how can I potentially work with you? I'm from Australia xx

  • @boriskiprich5702
    @boriskiprich5702 6 лет назад +1

    tough!

  • @wonhoptoo
    @wonhoptoo 6 лет назад

    starts :51

  • @willmooney6096
    @willmooney6096 5 лет назад

    my vocie hasnt been as tuned lately

    • @willmooney6096
      @willmooney6096 5 лет назад

      im really doc house about crystal stained

    • @willmooney6096
      @willmooney6096 5 лет назад

      i think this cmmnt had an inkling but its not verything

  • @vinci_irl
    @vinci_irl 4 года назад

    Fajna jesteś kiedy przyjeżdżasz do Polski? :):):) Dawaj teraz

  • @jack3361
    @jack3361 3 года назад

    i 💜 u 😊

  • @lonlep1831
    @lonlep1831 3 года назад

    🙏💫🙏

  • @willmooney6096
    @willmooney6096 3 года назад

    Thasss le psiopticsx 2

  • @Quis7919
    @Quis7919 Год назад

    Thank you so much Candace. I used to self-medicate with pornography but I have learned that is a band-aid. Thank you

  • @LisaSmith-yb2uz
    @LisaSmith-yb2uz 4 года назад

    💗

  • @eceerdem317
    @eceerdem317 6 лет назад +2

    Dont agree with you on that therapy thing. My therapy process taught me where it came from originally, and we dug deep.

  • @PhoenixAdonai336
    @PhoenixAdonai336 2 года назад

    Ok ok ok. So thank you first off. I had a flash back to when I was a young girl and other girls body was advanced. And I got picked over by the boys I liked. And as I got older the same thing would happen because I'm a black girl with a little butt. That happened to me my entire life. And now I'm 45 and I still feel like I'm picked over by the guys I like but I wind up with men who look at other women that have a big butt. I even was gonna get my butt done because of that. I'm glad I didn't however til this day I don't look in the mirror when I put clothes on. And I was in a bath earlier and that's when I had the flash back of the first time the preacher son started liking another girl with a big butt. WOW WOW. I knew that was a problem for me* I just didn't remember the first time I was rejected until I was in the bath. And here you are I've been seeing 123 all week and I'm the 124 comment. So this is the wound that I'm healing. 🥰🥰🥰 Thank you for helping me put a name to this.

  • @jillhill5421
    @jillhill5421 5 лет назад

    Y are u trying to help me for y

  • @ami-205
    @ami-205 5 лет назад

    Trauma focused therapy addresses these issues: emdr and brain spotting are awesome techniques used.
    Holistic approach is bomb too. Reiki ❤️yoga. Eating with alignment.
    There’s so much work to do 😫🤞🌙✨🌻

  • @rebeccasteinbach3117
    @rebeccasteinbach3117 4 года назад

    Shame feels like I'm about to die 😭😭😭

  • @guillaumerusengo9371
    @guillaumerusengo9371 5 лет назад +1

    This video is perfect for Race relations.

  • @willmooney6096
    @willmooney6096 5 лет назад

    stole my boycrown

  • @bigchief4044
    @bigchief4044 5 лет назад

    There is such thing as unworthiness wound.
    But this chick just spent 8:38 saying nothing useful.
    Oh...I take that back. It's now the worlds fault. 😂
    You now have something else to blame it on.

  • @jasonselph6968
    @jasonselph6968 6 лет назад

    :)

  • @willmooney6096
    @willmooney6096 3 года назад

    The truth is 2/3 in front of ur face

  • @SPLIFBEATZ
    @SPLIFBEATZ 6 лет назад

    You just get clicks cause you are a stunner, lol

  • @daniel987878
    @daniel987878 7 лет назад

    Poo poo.