When Tolkien spends so many time and page on Tom Bombadil leading you to think he's an important character when he's in fact useless. When Gimli threatens to murder people if they don't declare Galadriel the fairest. When Aragorn keeps swinging his sword in front of Rohirrim like a brat and you are supposed to believe that little shit is kingly.
@@juliamavroidi8601 nah, he's just a simp. The lad was given a choice of any gift in Lothlorien, and he chose a lock of her hair. If that ain't Tolkien's version of Gamer girl bathwater, idk what is
I will attempt to transcribe this whole freakin thing, it is long, you have been warned: Bilbo: Good morning! Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning? Or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning? Bilbo: ... all of them at once I suppose. Good morning! Gandalf: Sasesabilbabilbabesanagenasanagenabilbabilbabesesanagenasanagena! (sweet lord) Bilbo: I beg your pardon? Gandalf: Sasesabilbabilbabesanagenasanagenabilbabilbabeses! Bilbo: I'm sorry do I know you? Gandalf: I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means good morning! Bilbo: ... Good morning! *struggles with door* Bilbo: ... Good morning! Gandalf: Good morning! Bilbo: Good morning! *goes inside* Gandalf, peering through the window: Good morning! Gandalf peering in again: Just tea, thank you. Gandalf, again: BILBO BAGGINS! Some other guy very well edited in behind the bars of the window: Good morning! (I genuinely don't know who this is I think it's arnie schwarzenegger someone please help me) Bilbo: *plays bongos with his dinner* Door bell: *Jingle Bells* Santa Balin: OH OH OH! *violently head bashes Dwalin* Bilbo: It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come in my ass! Door bell: *Legend of Zelda theme* Fili: Fili! Kili: And Fili! Fili & Kili: At your sers! Kili: You must be Mr. Bond! Bilbo: Nope! Kili: You must be Mr. Boba Fett! Bilbo: Nope! Kili: You must be Mr. Bomb-omb! Bilbo: Nope! Kili: You must be Mr. Bo bobobo-bo! Bilbo: Nope nope! Dwarves in background: (Fili! Kili!) Dwalin: Come on, give us a hand job. Balin: We gotta shove this in the hole, otherwise we'll never fit everyone in. Bilbo: Everyone?! How many more are there? Balin: Everyone. Bilbo: How many more? Balin: Everyone. Bilbo: How many is everyone?! Balin: Everyone. Doorbell: *Intro to The Three Hunters from LOTR* Bilbo: No. No! THERE'S NOBODY HOME! GO AWAY! There's fartoomanydwarvesherethere'sfartoomanydwarvesthere'sfartoomanydwarves, inmydiningroomasitis. Ifthisisa *ifthisisa* _ifthisisa_ IFTHISISSOME clothead's idea of a joj a fo aedi s'daedhtolc emos si siht fi. si ti sa moor gninid ym in sevrawarwarwarwar HAHAHAHAHA. I can only say. I can only say. I can I can only say. It is in very poor taste! Dwarves: *bowling strike* Gandalf: Good morning! Bilbo: Good morning. Bilbo: Excuse me! A tad... excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife? Bofur: Cheese knife? He eats it by the cheese knife! Bilbo: No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's cheese knife! Bofur: Cheese knife! Gandalf: OHHH! Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur _Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur_ *Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur* BIFUR BOFUR BOFUR BOFUR Dori: Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of my cum as requested. Gandalf: OhhhOOhhhO *slurp* *burp* Hmmm. Gandalf: My dear Bilbo. Bilbo (old voice): My dear Gandalf! Gandalf: My dear Bilbo. Bilbo (old): My dear (young & irritated) Gandalf! Gandalf: My dear BILBO!!!! Bilbo (old): My dear (young & irritated) Gandalf! Bilbo: Th-th-they PILLAGED the pantry, they PILLAGED the bathroom, I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to my cheese knife. Bofur: Cheese knife? Bilbo: I don't understand what they don't understand what they don't what the don't what they're doing in my house! Nori: ScuuS Bilbo: I don't understand what they're doing in my do-do! Nori: ScuUuS Bilbo: I don't understand what they're doing to my cheese knife! Bofur: Cheese knife? Bilbo: I'm not even going to tell you what they did to Alf. Dwarves singing: Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnabruiseandburnabruiseandburnthecolt! (x2)Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseabruiseabruiseabruiseabruiseandburnthecolt! (x2) Mike Bay(s)! Mike Bay(s)! Mike Bay(s)Mike Bay(s)Mike Bay(s)! (x2) That'swhatbilbobabblebilbothat'swhatbilbobapbap! That'swhatbilbobabblebilbothat'swhatbilbobapbapBAPBAP! (x2) Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnabruiseandburnabruiseandburnthecolt! That's what Bilbo Baggins haa-AAA-aaa-AAAA The Editor: *LSD trip* The dwarves, far off, as if in a dream: *Cut the cloth and trail the fat! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Pour the milk on the pantry floor! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole, and when you've finished, if they are whole, Send them down the hall to roll! *dance break* That's what Bilbo Baggins hates! Gandalf: Allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Pikachu. Thorin Pikachu: So. This is the HoH. He looks gross. Oin: The reign of the Bee... will end. Bilbo: What Bee? Bofur: Well that would be a reference to SmauS the Terrible. Airborne fire Bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knives! Thorin Pikachu: O-O-O-O-O-O-O! Ori: *squeaks chair* Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: That is not true. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Thorin Pikachu: How came you by this? Balin: There is no way. Gandalf: It was given to me by your father. Balin: No way into the mountain. Gandalf: By Thrain, for safekeeping. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: It is yours now. Balin: No way! Fili: If there is a key... there must be a door! Balin: No! Gandalf: These runes speak of a hidden passage... Balin: No! Gandalf: ... into the lower halls. Kili: There's another way in! Balin: There is no fucking way into the mountain. Thorin Pikachu: O-O-O-O-O-O-O! Ori: *squeak squeak* Gandalf: I am accustomed to the smell of Hobbit butt, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the smell of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him. Bilbo: *nopes into unconsciousness* Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS!! Bilbo: I can't just go running off into the blue. I am a bag-in-box! Gandalf: You are also a fool of a Took! Gandalf: You are also a Tool of a fook! Gandalf: You are also a foof of a TooT! Gandalf: You are also a cook! Gandalf: Did you know that your great-great-great-great uncle was a horse? The scene's music: *acid trip that is somehow musical but different* Bilbo: *cartoon slip and fall noises* Bilbo: Stop! (x17) Gandalf: What on earth is the matter? Bilbo: I forgot to pee. Thorin: NOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOON! Radagast: *acid trip* Troll 1: Everything tastes like chicken. Troll 2: Except for chicken. Troll 1: What tastes like chicken! I'm just saying, a little chicken would be nice. Frodo for some reason: Roast chicken? Dumbass troll: *gets knocked over several times, but musically* Bilbo: You are making a terrible steak! Bilbo: The secret to cooking dwarf is, um, Troll: Yes? Come on! Tell us the secret! Bilbo: It's uh, y-yes, I'm telling you! The secret is, is uh, Troll: Tell us the secret! Bilbo: Y-yes! Troll: Come on! Bilbo: The secret is um, Troll: Yes? Tell us the secret! Bilbo: It's uh, y-yes, the secret is uh, Troll: Come on! Bilbo: Y-yes the secret is... to... SiS! Dwarves: *outrage noises* Gandalf: The da-a-a-awn will take you a-a-a-all! Troll 1: Who's that? Troll 2: Can we eat him too? Gandalf: YOU - SHALL NOT - cook! Trolls: *petrification noises* Thorin Pikachu: There must be a cake nearby. Radagast: Something's terribly wrong! Gandalf: ...yes? Radagast: *tip of my tongue noises* Gandalf: yes? Radagast: *more noises* ... just give me a minute. *more noises* Ohh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was right there, on the tip of my tips! *more noises* Gandalf: Try a little Old Toby. It'll help settle your nerves. Radagast: *insane electric guitar 420 blaze it noises, then a kettle steaming* Radagast: *more tip of my tongue noises* Gandalf: These are Gundabad GunGuns! They will outrun ou! Radagast: These are Roscabel RosRos! I'd like to see them try. The music: *original Mario Kart theme* Elrond: This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver, a kickass blade, forged by Elvis. This is Glamdring, the Ham Cleaver. The music: *elvish pretty* Nori: Change the tune, why don't you? I feel like I'm at a funeral! Bofur: Alright lads, there's only one thing for it! *another Mario reference probably* Dwarves: *more nonsense stuff I can't be bothered to transcribe, involving swiggity swordies, andros of the man who dropped a piggy cent, plus a Darth Vader theme reference, and an impressive note at the end* Gandalf: Smaug owes allegiance to no one. But if he should side with the Enemy... a dragon could be used to terrible effect. Saruman, one of the main villains from the LOTR series, and minion of the Enemy: What enemy? Elrond: Gandalf, for four years we have lived in peace. Gandalf: Are we? Are we at peace? Merry and Pippin have come down from the mountains! They are raping villages, destroying farms! Orcs have peed on us on the road! Elrond: Hardly a prelude to war. The past: *acid trip* Dwarf: What is it? Thorin Pikachu: Dragon. DRAGOOOGARAGOOOGARAGOOOGARAGOOO*turns into la cucaracha* Young Balin: ......? (goddamit Pikachu why must you be this way) Bofur: Bombur! Bombur: ...*boom* Dwarves: *laughter* Radagast: *blaze it 420 baybeeee*
@da dudette Don't say that, it WILL end. And in the meantime, look how much infinite awesome entertainment there is to discover. One day you'll look back on it all and, hopefully, remember the fun you had all the while
I'm accustomed to the smell of Hobbit butt, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of Dragon Cock, the scent of Dwarf cum, is all but unknown to him.
"Good morning." "What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning?"
- Good morning. - What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning? - All of them at once, I suppose. Good morning. - Sasso sasso babebabe senigena senigena subabebabs. - Beg your pardon? - Sasso sasso babebabe senigena senigena subabebaba-sus. - I'm sorry, do I know you? - I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means good morning. - Good morning. [Door slamming] - Good morning. - Good morning. - Good morning. [Door slamming faster] [Door locking] [Dramatic music] [Swoosh] - Good morning. [Dramatic music continues] - Just tea, thank you. [Dramatic music continues] - BILBO BAGGINS! [Dramatic music continues] - Good morning. [Dramatic music continues] [Frying pan sounds] [Christmas theme] [Christmas chimes] - Ho-ho-ho! [Heabutt] - Well, it's not that I don't like visitors. I-I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come in my ass. [Doorbell theme vol 2] - I'm Fili. - And Fili. - At your sass. - You must be Mr. Bond. - Nope. - You must me Mr. Bob-A-Fet. - Nope. - You must me Mr. Bobo-Bob. - Nope. - You must me Mr. Bo-bo-bobo-bo. - Nope-nope. - Fili, Kili, come on, give us a handjob. - White sugar's in the hole, otherwise we'll never get everyone in. - Everyone? How many more are there? - Everyone. - How many more? - Everyone. - How many is everyone? - Everyone. [Doorbell theme vol 3] - No, no there's NOBODY HOME. GO AWAY AND- [Inaudible bilbo madness of backwards fast talking] - I can't even say I can't even say I can i can't even say. Easy. There go Woo taste. [Door opening] [Bowling pins falling over] [Dwarves grunting] - Good morning. - Good morning. - 'Scuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? You've got a cheese knife? - Cheese knife? He eats it by the cheese knife? - No, no that's grandpa Amanda's cheese knife? - Cheese knife? [Gandalf screaming] [Gandalf casting spells or some shit] - Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of my cum is requested. - Aha-aha. [Swoosh] [Burp] - Hmm. - My dear Biblo. - My dear Gandalf. - My dear Bilbou. - My dear Gandalf. - My dear BILBO! - My dear Gandalf. - Th-th-they pillaged the pantry. They've pillaged the bathroom. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to my cheese knife? - Cheese knife? - I don't understeand what they don't understeand what they don't what they don't what they're doing in my house?! - Skeese. - I don't understeand what they're doing in my doo-doo. - Skeese. - I don't understeand what they're doing to my cheese knife? - Cheese knife? - I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to Alf. [CUE THE YTP THEME] - Allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Pikachu. - So, this is the HoH. It looks gross. [Laughs in background] - The reign of the bee will end. - What bee? - Well, that would be a reference to Smaus the terrible. Airborne fire-bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knifes? [Thorin screaming] [Chair scratching the floor] - There's no way into the mountain. - That, my dear Balin is not entirely true. - There's no way into the mountain. - That is not true. - There's no way into the mountain. - Who gave you by this? - There's no way. - It was given to me by your father. - No way into the mountain. - A friend, to safekeep it. - There's no way into the mountain. - Tis' yours now. - No way. - If there's a key, there must be a door. - No. - These runes speak of a hidden passage - no - into the lower halls. - There's another way in. - There is no fucking way into the mountain. [Thorin screaming] [Chair scratching the floor] - I'm accustomed to the smell of Hobbit, but, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the scent of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him. [Bilbo falling onto the floor] - BILBO BAGGINS - I can't just go running off into the blue, i'm a bag in box... - You're also a fool of a Took. - You're also a tool of a Fuk. - You're also a Foof of a Tut. - You're also a cook. - Did you know that your great-great-great-great uncle was a horse? [Bilbo sighing] [Music playing] [Loud screaming] - Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop- - What on earth is the matter? - I forgot to pee. [Thorin screaming no] - Everything tastes like chicken. - Except the chicken. - What tastes like chicken? I'm just saying a little chicken would be nice. - That was a chicken? - Huh. [Troll screaming] - You are making a terrible steak. - Th-the secret to cooking dwarf is umm - Yes? Come on! - It's uh... - Tell us the secret! - Ye-yes, I'm trying. The secret is, it's uhh - Tell us the secret! - Ye-yes - Come on! - The secret is umm - Yes? - It's uhh - Tell us the secret! - Ye-yes uhh, the secret, it's uhh - Come on! - Yes, the secret is to sees. [Dwarves arguing] - THE DA-A-A-AWN WILL TAKE YOU A-A-ALL! - Who's that? - Can we eat 'im too? - YOU SHALL NOT cook. [Stone cracking] [Sunlight shining] [Trolls grunting] - There must be a cake nearby. - Something's terribly wrong. - Yes? - Yes? - Just give me a minute. umm. - Oooh. I've had a thought and now i've lost it, it was right there, on the tip of my tits. - Try a little ol' tabby, it'll settle you out. [AIR HORN] [Air whistle] - These are Gundabad Gun-Guns! They will outrun you! - These are Ruscabell Rus-Rus! I'd like to see them try. [Mario kart theme] [Turtle shell sound] [Mario kart theme continues] [Elven music kicks in] - This is Orcrist, the goblin cleaver. A kick-ass blade, forged by Elvis. - And this is Glamdring, the Ham cleaver. - Change the tune, why don't you? I feel like I'm at a funeral. - Alright, lads, there's only one thing for it. [Dwarf singing] [Dwarf singing faster and louder] [Dwarf singing the Imperial Theme] [Dwarf continues singing fast] [Potato smashes against wall] - Smaug owes alleigance to no-one but if he should side with the enemy, a dragon could be used to terrible effect. - What enemy? - Gandalf, for four years we have lived in peace. - Are we, are we at peace? Mary and Pippin have come down from the mountains, they're raiding villages, destroying farms. Orcs have peed on us on the road. - Hardly a prelude to war. [Smashing] - What is it? - DRAGON! [Thorin screams dragon in multiple pitches] - Bombur! [Explosion]
Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: That is not true. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Thorin: How came you by this? Balin: There is no way. Gandalf: It was given to me by your father. Balin: No way into the mountain. Gandalf: By Thrain. For safekeeping. Balin: There is no way into the mountain. Gandalf: It is yours now. Balin: No way. Fili: There's a key. There must be a door. Balin: Nope. Gandalf: These runes speak of a hidden passage. Balin: Nope. Gandalf: To the lower halls. Kili: There's another way in! Balin: There is no fucking way into the mountain. Thorin: AHHHHHH! That was possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.
I want you to know that my sister and I watched this video religiously in middle school and to this DAY we cannot watch the opening scenes of the Hobbit without cracking up. Thanks for being a good chunk of our childhood, lol
For years, my cousins and I would watch these every time we saw each other. And now we can’t watch Return of the King without thinking “A new day! A red day! A red sword day! A sword red day!”
You must be mister bond!. "NOPE!" "You must be mister BOB ba fett." "NOPE!" "You must be mister BOB-BOMB" "NOPE!" "You must be mister BA, BA-BA-BA-BA", "NOP-NOPE!" "Lets shove this in the whole otherwise we won't get everyone in." "Everyone? How many are they? "Everyone." "Everyone?" "Everyone." "How many more is everyone?" "Everyone."
I don't understand what they're doing in my house! I don't understand what they're doing in my do-do! I don't understand what they're doing in my cheese knife!
Michael Bay-worshipping dwarves. Gandalf’s love of good mornings and hatred of cooks. Santa Balin’s hard-on for roadless mountains. Thorin’s utter disappointment with the call of nature. The door chimes of Bilbo’s abode. Kickass blades forged by Elvis that can cleave orcs and ham alike. That doggone cheese knife. You’re doing God’s work.
There are so many grade A quotes but for some reason, today I'm appreciating: "How many is 'everyone?'" "Everyone" because technically he's telling the truth
Man I miss TheMarklar01. These were the days of great Cheese knifes, Roast Chickens, Happy Landings, Absent Of Pressings Of Stop Buttons, Stuffings, Pizza Times and Arabian Cakes.
Damn, I still remember when I first watched one of his YTPs. I believe it was Lord of the Roast Chicken. It was the YTP that really got me hooked on YTPs back in the day.
"That would be a reference to Smaus the Terrible - Airborne Fire Bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knife." Genuinely my favorite YTP of all time. Thank you so much for this.
e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e! inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn beneath an old grey hill, And there they brew a beer so brown That plays a five-stringed so oo The ostler has a tipsy cat that plays a five-stringed fiddle; And there they brew a beer so brown That plays a five-stringed so oo The Man in the Moon himself came down The Man in the Moon himself himself came The Man in the Moon himself came down The Man in the Moon himself himself came He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the tune He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the dead He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the tune He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the dead Landlord shook the Man in the Moon: ‘It’s after three!’ he said. Landlord shook the Man in the Moon: ‘It’s after three!’ he said said. Landlord shook the Man in the Moon: ‘It’s after three!’ he said. Landlord shook the Man in the Moon: ‘It’s after three!’ he sa-sa-said. andhesawsandsawsnowsqueakingsqueakingsawsandsawsandhe andhesawsandsawsnowsqueakingsqueakingsawsandsawsandhe soo soo soo *soo* so-soo *soo* so-sooooo and up and down he saws his bow now squeaking hi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiigh~
I am a cook, but I cannot not cook. Some dwarves pillaged my pantry, and ate all my cheese by the cheese knife. I cannot even tell you what they've done with my cheese knife. And yet, they still keep asking for it. Afterwards, I couldn't find my cheese knife. I asked if any had seen my cheese knife. "Cheese knife?" came the reply. I still haven't found my cheese knife, so I cannot cook with cheese.
"Allow me to introduce the leader of our company... Thorin Pikachu. (Pikashield?)" "So this is the HoH? It looks gross." "There must be a cake nearby" _Gandalf looks at Thorin with utter confusion_
"Stop STOP stop stop Stop STOP stop stop stop STOP stop stop Stop stop stop stop stop" "What on earth is the matter?" "I forgot to pee" And I almost did
What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning?
I am accustomed to the smell of hobbit butt, and while the hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the scent of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him. *Bilbo passes out* Gandalf: BIBLO BAGGINS!
I am being completely honest, this video i first saw with anxiety and mild depression. it just cheers me up every time its just so silly xD. since then i have forgotten of sad days xDd
I have attempted to translate Bofur's beautiful song: Rt-rt-rt-ee-ee-ee-ee-rt-ee-ee-rt-ee-ee-eeeeee! There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn beneath an old grey hill, and there they brew a beer so brown, the maisty find some chode, the ostler has a tipsy cat, that plays a five-stringed fiddle, and there they brew a beer so brown the maisty find some chode- Now the man in the moon is SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY SALTY! A squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID-SAID-SAID! Squatty slow now squeaking squeaking low now shursh the squatty slows a bone us squeaking squeaking low now spinters splandy DO! DO! DO! DO-DADO! DO-DADO! And now he takes the squatty slow now squeaking HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
![[YTP] LotR - Middle Earth fights Theoden](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/uPHp-8eft78/mqdefault.jpg)
"You are also a fool of a Took."
"You are also a tool of a Fook."
"You are also a foof of a toot."
"You are also a cook."
Did you know your great great great uncle was a horse?
*YOU SHALL NOT-!* _c o o k ._
@@FujiAppul why? :(
Riley Peterson
“You are also a fool of a crook”
“You are also a pool of a bloof “
“You are also a.....BOOK!
Cheese knife
Balin's insistence on there being no way into the mountain is admirable.
That's because there is no fucking way into the mountain
If only he had been as dedicated and insistent on keeping an eye on Thorin.
Noot Noot AAAA A AA. A. AAAA AAAAA
*gets up and immediately sits down*
No.
This is exactly what Tolkien would have wanted us to do to his work.
I concur
@@Ben10man2 i too concur
I three concur
I four concur
I six concur
To this day I still use "cheese knife" as a unit of unknown measurement.
🧀 🔪
cheese knife?
Cheese knife? He measures it by the cheese knife!
I literally do as well, it's become an inside joke with my friends haha
*CHEESE KNIFE.*
"claws like Cheese Knives"
*"AAAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"*
5:04
Airborne fire bee.
Smaus the terrible
5:10
*stand up and sit down*
"The Goblin-Cleaver, a kickass blade forged by Elvis."
I want one.
_The ham cleaver_
Mireyna Marez cheese knife?
@Pine that my Dear Pine is not entirely true 🗝️
@Pine kili:theres another way in
@Pine *thorin screams*
When you read lotr as a child and have no idea what Tolkien is trying to write
When Tolkien spends so many time and page on Tom Bombadil leading you to think he's an important character when he's in fact useless.
When Gimli threatens to murder people if they don't declare Galadriel the fairest.
When Aragorn keeps swinging his sword in front of Rohirrim like a brat and you are supposed to believe that little shit is kingly.
@@tiaaaron3278 I still think Galadriel actually did put a spell on Gimli
@@juliamavroidi8601 nah, he's just a simp. The lad was given a choice of any gift in Lothlorien, and he chose a lock of her hair. If that ain't Tolkien's version of Gamer girl bathwater, idk what is
This is extremely relatable as I tried to read The Lord of the Rings straight after The Hobbit when I was only ten...
@@Liz-lq8hw He has her DNA now...clever dwarf.
I will attempt to transcribe this whole freakin thing, it is long, you have been warned:
Bilbo: Good morning!
Gandalf: What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning? Or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning? Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning?
Bilbo: ... all of them at once I suppose. Good morning!
Gandalf: Sasesabilbabilbabesanagenasanagenabilbabilbabesesanagenasanagena! (sweet lord)
Bilbo: I beg your pardon?
Gandalf: Sasesabilbabilbabesanagenasanagenabilbabilbabeses!
Bilbo: I'm sorry do I know you?
Gandalf: I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means good morning!
Bilbo: ... Good morning! *struggles with door*
Bilbo: ... Good morning!
Gandalf: Good morning!
Bilbo: Good morning! *goes inside*
Gandalf, peering through the window: Good morning!
Gandalf peering in again: Just tea, thank you.
Gandalf, again: BILBO BAGGINS!
Some other guy very well edited in behind the bars of the window: Good morning!
(I genuinely don't know who this is I think it's arnie schwarzenegger someone please help me)
Bilbo: *plays bongos with his dinner*
Door bell: *Jingle Bells*
Santa Balin: OH OH OH! *violently head bashes Dwalin*
Bilbo: It's not that I don't like visitors. I like visitors as much as the next hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come in my ass!
Door bell: *Legend of Zelda theme*
Fili: Fili!
Kili: And Fili!
Fili & Kili: At your sers!
Kili: You must be Mr. Bond!
Bilbo: Nope!
Kili: You must be Mr. Boba Fett!
Bilbo: Nope!
Kili: You must be Mr. Bomb-omb!
Bilbo: Nope!
Kili: You must be Mr. Bo bobobo-bo!
Bilbo: Nope nope!
Dwarves in background: (Fili! Kili!)
Dwalin: Come on, give us a hand job.
Balin: We gotta shove this in the hole, otherwise we'll never fit everyone in.
Bilbo: Everyone?! How many more are there?
Balin: Everyone.
Bilbo: How many more?
Balin: Everyone.
Bilbo: How many is everyone?!
Balin: Everyone.
Doorbell: *Intro to The Three Hunters from LOTR*
Bilbo: No. No! THERE'S NOBODY HOME! GO AWAY! There's fartoomanydwarvesherethere'sfartoomanydwarvesthere'sfartoomanydwarves, inmydiningroomasitis. Ifthisisa *ifthisisa* _ifthisisa_ IFTHISISSOME clothead's idea of a joj a fo aedi s'daedhtolc emos si siht fi. si ti sa moor gninid ym in sevrawarwarwarwar HAHAHAHAHA. I can only say. I can only say. I can I can only say. It is in very poor taste!
Dwarves: *bowling strike*
Gandalf: Good morning!
Bilbo: Good morning.
Bilbo: Excuse me! A tad... excessive, isn't it? Have you got a cheese knife?
Bofur: Cheese knife? He eats it by the cheese knife!
Bilbo: No, no, that's Grandpa Mungo's cheese knife!
Bofur: Cheese knife!
Gandalf: OHHH! Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur _Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur_ *Bifur Bofur Bofur Bofur* BIFUR BOFUR BOFUR BOFUR
Dori: Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of my cum as requested.
Gandalf: OhhhOOhhhO *slurp* *burp* Hmmm.
Gandalf: My dear Bilbo.
Bilbo (old voice): My dear Gandalf!
Gandalf: My dear Bilbo.
Bilbo (old): My dear (young & irritated) Gandalf!
Gandalf: My dear BILBO!!!!
Bilbo (old): My dear (young & irritated) Gandalf!
Bilbo: Th-th-they PILLAGED the pantry, they PILLAGED the bathroom, I'm not even going to tell you what they've done to my cheese knife.
Bofur: Cheese knife?
Bilbo: I don't understand what they don't understand what they don't what the don't what they're doing in my house!
Nori: ScuuS
Bilbo: I don't understand what they're doing in my do-do!
Nori: ScuUuS
Bilbo: I don't understand what they're doing to my cheese knife!
Bofur: Cheese knife?
Bilbo: I'm not even going to tell you what they did to Alf.
Dwarves singing: Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnabruiseandburnabruiseandburnthecolt! (x2)Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseabruiseabruiseabruiseabruiseandburnthecolt! (x2)
Mike Bay(s)! Mike Bay(s)! Mike Bay(s)Mike Bay(s)Mike Bay(s)! (x2)
That'swhatbilbobabblebilbothat'swhatbilbobapbap! That'swhatbilbobabblebilbothat'swhatbilbobapbapBAPBAP! (x2)
Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnthecolt! Abruiseandburnabruiseandburnabruiseandburnthecolt!
That's what Bilbo Baggins haa-AAA-aaa-AAAA
The Editor: *LSD trip*
The dwarves, far off, as if in a dream: *Cut the cloth and trail the fat! Leave the bones on the bedroom mat! Pour the milk on the pantry floor! Splash the wine on every door! Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole, and when you've finished, if they are whole,
Send them down the hall to roll! *dance break* That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!
Gandalf: Allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Pikachu.
Thorin Pikachu: So. This is the HoH. He looks gross.
Oin: The reign of the Bee... will end.
Bilbo: What Bee?
Bofur: Well that would be a reference to SmauS the Terrible. Airborne fire Bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knives!
Thorin Pikachu: O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
Ori: *squeaks chair*
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: That is not true.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Thorin Pikachu: How came you by this?
Balin: There is no way.
Gandalf: It was given to me by your father.
Balin: No way into the mountain.
Gandalf: By Thrain, for safekeeping.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: It is yours now.
Balin: No way!
Fili: If there is a key... there must be a door!
Balin: No!
Gandalf: These runes speak of a hidden passage...
Balin: No!
Gandalf: ... into the lower halls.
Kili: There's another way in!
Balin: There is no fucking way into the mountain.
Thorin Pikachu: O-O-O-O-O-O-O!
Ori: *squeak squeak*
Gandalf: I am accustomed to the smell of Hobbit butt, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the smell of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him.
Bilbo: *nopes into unconsciousness*
Gandalf: BILBO BAGGINS!!
Bilbo: I can't just go running off into the blue. I am a bag-in-box!
Gandalf: You are also a fool of a Took!
Gandalf: You are also a Tool of a fook!
Gandalf: You are also a foof of a TooT!
Gandalf: You are also a cook!
Gandalf: Did you know that your great-great-great-great uncle was a horse?
The scene's music: *acid trip that is somehow musical but different*
Bilbo: *cartoon slip and fall noises*
Bilbo: Stop! (x17)
Gandalf: What on earth is the matter?
Bilbo: I forgot to pee.
Thorin: NOOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOON!
Radagast: *acid trip*
Troll 1: Everything tastes like chicken.
Troll 2: Except for chicken.
Troll 1: What tastes like chicken! I'm just saying, a little chicken would be nice.
Frodo for some reason: Roast chicken?
Dumbass troll: *gets knocked over several times, but musically*
Bilbo: You are making a terrible steak!
Bilbo: The secret to cooking dwarf is, um,
Troll: Yes? Come on! Tell us the secret!
Bilbo: It's uh, y-yes, I'm telling you! The secret is, is uh,
Troll: Tell us the secret!
Bilbo: Y-yes!
Troll: Come on!
Bilbo: The secret is um,
Troll: Yes? Tell us the secret!
Bilbo: It's uh, y-yes, the secret is uh,
Troll: Come on!
Bilbo: Y-yes the secret is... to... SiS!
Dwarves: *outrage noises*
Gandalf: The da-a-a-awn will take you a-a-a-all!
Troll 1: Who's that?
Troll 2: Can we eat him too?
Gandalf: YOU - SHALL NOT - cook!
Trolls: *petrification noises*
Thorin Pikachu: There must be a cake nearby.
Radagast: Something's terribly wrong!
Gandalf: ...yes?
Radagast: *tip of my tongue noises*
Gandalf: yes?
Radagast: *more noises* ... just give me a minute. *more noises* Ohh, I had a thought, and now I've lost it. It was right there, on the tip of my tips! *more noises*
Gandalf: Try a little Old Toby. It'll help settle your nerves.
Radagast: *insane electric guitar 420 blaze it noises, then a kettle steaming*
Radagast: *more tip of my tongue noises*
Gandalf: These are Gundabad GunGuns! They will outrun ou!
Radagast: These are Roscabel RosRos! I'd like to see them try.
The music: *original Mario Kart theme*
Elrond: This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver, a kickass blade, forged by Elvis. This is Glamdring, the Ham Cleaver.
The music: *elvish pretty*
Nori: Change the tune, why don't you? I feel like I'm at a funeral!
Bofur: Alright lads, there's only one thing for it! *another Mario reference probably*
Dwarves: *more nonsense stuff I can't be bothered to transcribe, involving swiggity swordies, andros of the man who dropped a piggy cent, plus a Darth Vader theme reference, and an impressive note at the end*
Gandalf: Smaug owes allegiance to no one. But if he should side with the Enemy... a dragon could be used to terrible effect.
Saruman, one of the main villains from the LOTR series, and minion of the Enemy: What enemy?
Elrond: Gandalf, for four years we have lived in peace.
Gandalf: Are we? Are we at peace? Merry and Pippin have come down from the mountains! They are raping villages, destroying farms! Orcs have peed on us on the road!
Elrond: Hardly a prelude to war.
The past: *acid trip*
Dwarf: What is it?
Thorin Pikachu: Dragon. DRAGOOOGARAGOOOGARAGOOOGARAGOOO*turns into la cucaracha*
Young Balin: ......?
(goddamit Pikachu why must you be this way)
Bofur: Bombur!
Bombur: ...*boom*
Dwarves: *laughter*
Radagast: *blaze it 420 baybeeee*
This deserves a lot more likes! xD
da dudette at least quarantine is better than dying from the virus
@da dudette Don't say that, it WILL end. And in the meantime, look how much infinite awesome entertainment there is to discover. One day you'll look back on it all and, hopefully, remember the fun you had all the while
scent of Dwarf cum
He says "have morning wood" at the beginning, not "are morning good."
"A Kick-ass blade, Forged by Elvis"
*_MICHAEL BAAATES_*
"Hell yeah Let's bash some ork!"
-Elvis, high lord of Gondolin (1. Age)
*You ain’t nothin but a hound orc~ gnashin all the time~ you ain’t never caught a dwarf, you ain’t no friend of mine~*
I'LL TAKE YOUR ENTIRE STOCK!!!!!
Cheese Knife
There is no fucking way into the mountain.
AAAHHH! AAAHHH! AAAHHH! AAAHHH!
I'm accustomed to the smell of Hobbit butt, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of Dragon Cock, the scent of Dwarf cum, is all but unknown to him.
*passes out*
BILBO BAGGINS!
I can't just go running off into the blue, I'm a Bag in Box.
You are also a cook.
I like how this is the first video that pops up when you search "Cheese knife"
XD
3rd now :((((
Wait what?? It's 3rd now :/ At least it's the 3rd one. I just searched it :|
@@hoyvdhddcgmhjmjd3590 yeah it is a bummer, 3rd is great but people looking for cheese knife may not notice it now cotf
Wait! We’re back at #2 now - right after “Cheese Tips & Hacks”. Which, to a certain extent seems justified...
"I forgot to pee"
*"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"*
7:20
*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!!!!*
When you go on a road trip with your friends
“If there is a key, there must be a door.”
“No.”
-roll credits-
Fíli is Captain Obvious.
effortlessGFX No.
There is no way into the mountain
@@noahblair3020 That, my dear Noah, is not entirely true.
There is no way into the mountain
"Good morning."
"What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning?"
all at once, i suppose.
Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood in this particular morning?
Good morning.
because acid
Good morning on this fine morning
Imagine if Gandalf met Obi Wan.
Good morning.
Hello there.
Oh no that would be an endless loop
Another happy Balrog.
I'm Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan means 'Hello there'!
My dear anakin!
My dear obi-wan!
My dear anakin...
My dear obi-wan
My dear *ANAKIN!!!*
My dear obi-wan
He technically did
*Enter ahsoka*
“Stop. Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop!”
“What on earth is the matter???”
“....I forgot to pee”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
thorins worst nightmare 😂
I never laughed so much at that bit 🤣🤣
- Good morning.
- What do you mean?
Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean that it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning?
Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning?
Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning?
- All of them at once, I suppose. Good morning.
- Sasso sasso babebabe senigena senigena subabebabs.
- Beg your pardon?
- Sasso sasso babebabe senigena senigena subabebaba-sus.
- I'm sorry, do I know you?
- I'm Gandalf, and Gandalf means good morning.
- Good morning.
[Door slamming]
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
[Door slamming faster]
[Door locking]
[Dramatic music]
[Swoosh]
- Good morning.
[Dramatic music continues]
- Just tea, thank you.
[Dramatic music continues]
- BILBO BAGGINS!
[Dramatic music continues]
- Good morning.
[Dramatic music continues]
[Frying pan sounds]
[Christmas theme]
[Christmas chimes]
- Ho-ho-ho!
[Heabutt]
- Well, it's not that I don't like visitors. I-I like visitors as much as the next Hobbit. But I do like to know them before they come in my ass.
[Doorbell theme vol 2]
- I'm Fili.
- And Fili.
- At your sass.
- You must be Mr. Bond.
- Nope.
- You must me Mr. Bob-A-Fet.
- Nope.
- You must me Mr. Bobo-Bob.
- Nope.
- You must me Mr. Bo-bo-bobo-bo.
- Nope-nope.
- Fili, Kili, come on, give us a handjob.
- White sugar's in the hole, otherwise we'll never get everyone in.
- Everyone? How many more are there?
- Everyone.
- How many more?
- Everyone.
- How many is everyone?
- Everyone.
[Doorbell theme vol 3]
- No, no there's NOBODY HOME. GO AWAY AND-
[Inaudible bilbo madness of backwards fast talking]
- I can't even say I can't even say I can i can't even say. Easy. There go Woo taste.
[Door opening]
[Bowling pins falling over]
[Dwarves grunting]
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
- 'Scuse me. A tad excessive, isn't it? You've got a cheese knife?
- Cheese knife? He eats it by the cheese knife?
- No, no that's grandpa Amanda's cheese knife?
- Cheese knife?
[Gandalf screaming]
[Gandalf casting spells or some shit]
- Mr. Gandalf? A little glass of my cum is requested.
- Aha-aha.
[Swoosh]
[Burp]
- Hmm.
- My dear Biblo.
- My dear Gandalf.
- My dear Bilbou.
- My dear Gandalf.
- My dear BILBO!
- My dear Gandalf.
- Th-th-they pillaged the pantry. They've pillaged the bathroom. I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to my cheese knife?
- Cheese knife?
- I don't understeand what they don't understeand what they don't what they don't what they're doing in my house?!
- Skeese.
- I don't understeand what they're doing in my doo-doo.
- Skeese.
- I don't understeand what they're doing to my cheese knife?
- Cheese knife?
- I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to Alf.
[CUE THE YTP THEME]
- Allow me to introduce the leader of our company, Thorin Pikachu.
- So, this is the HoH. It looks gross.
[Laughs in background]
- The reign of the bee will end.
- What bee?
- Well, that would be a reference to Smaus the terrible. Airborne fire-bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knifes?
[Thorin screaming]
[Chair scratching the floor]
- There's no way into the mountain.
- That, my dear Balin is not entirely true.
- There's no way into the mountain.
- That is not true.
- There's no way into the mountain.
- Who gave you by this?
- There's no way.
- It was given to me by your father.
- No way into the mountain.
- A friend, to safekeep it.
- There's no way into the mountain.
- Tis' yours now.
- No way.
- If there's a key, there must be a door.
- No.
- These runes speak of a hidden passage
- no
- into the lower halls.
- There's another way in.
- There is no fucking way into the mountain.
[Thorin screaming]
[Chair scratching the floor]
- I'm accustomed to the smell of Hobbit, but, and while the Hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the scent of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him.
[Bilbo falling onto the floor]
- BILBO BAGGINS
- I can't just go running off into the blue, i'm a bag in box...
- You're also a fool of a Took.
- You're also a tool of a Fuk.
- You're also a Foof of a Tut.
- You're also a cook.
- Did you know that your great-great-great-great uncle was a horse?
[Bilbo sighing]
[Music playing]
[Loud screaming]
- Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop-
- What on earth is the matter?
- I forgot to pee.
[Thorin screaming no]
- Everything tastes like chicken.
- Except the chicken.
- What tastes like chicken? I'm just saying a little chicken would be nice.
- That was a chicken?
- Huh.
[Troll screaming]
- You are making a terrible steak.
- Th-the secret to cooking dwarf is umm
- Yes? Come on!
- It's uh...
- Tell us the secret!
- Ye-yes, I'm trying. The secret is, it's uhh
- Tell us the secret!
- Ye-yes
- Come on!
- The secret is umm
- Yes?
- It's uhh
- Tell us the secret!
- Ye-yes uhh, the secret, it's uhh
- Come on!
- Yes, the secret is to sees.
[Dwarves arguing]
- THE DA-A-A-AWN WILL TAKE YOU A-A-ALL!
- Who's that?
- Can we eat 'im too?
- YOU
SHALL NOT
cook.
[Stone cracking]
[Sunlight shining]
[Trolls grunting]
- There must be a cake nearby.
- Something's terribly wrong.
- Yes?
- Yes?
- Just give me a minute. umm.
- Oooh. I've had a thought and now i've lost it, it was right there, on the tip of my tits.
- Try a little ol' tabby, it'll settle you out.
[AIR HORN]
[Air whistle]
- These are Gundabad Gun-Guns! They will outrun you!
- These are Ruscabell Rus-Rus! I'd like to see them try.
[Mario kart theme]
[Turtle shell sound]
[Mario kart theme continues]
[Elven music kicks in]
- This is Orcrist, the goblin cleaver. A kick-ass blade, forged by Elvis.
- And this is Glamdring, the Ham cleaver.
- Change the tune, why don't you? I feel like I'm at a funeral.
- Alright, lads, there's only one thing for it.
[Dwarf singing]
[Dwarf singing faster and louder]
[Dwarf singing the Imperial Theme]
[Dwarf continues singing fast]
[Potato smashes against wall]
- Smaug owes alleigance to no-one but if he should side with the enemy, a dragon could be used to terrible effect.
- What enemy?
- Gandalf, for four years we have lived in peace.
- Are we, are we at peace? Mary and Pippin have come down from the mountains, they're raiding villages, destroying farms. Orcs have peed on us on the road.
- Hardly a prelude to war.
[Smashing]
- What is it?
- DRAGON!
[Thorin screams dragon in multiple pitches]
- Bombur!
[Explosion]
[Airhorn] at the end btw
Vincent au
How much time do you have??
Holy cow man take a break
I envy your free time
Fili and ... Fili
At your suus
You must be Mr. Bond.
Nope! You must be Mr. Boba Fett! Nope! You must be Mr. Bob-Omb! Nope! You must be Mr. boobobobo nope nope @@AlanPalgut
adian turner will be next james bond
@@samsnozwell2402 who will soon also play as Boba Fett in the 2077 StarPunk.
At your *Söös*
„ *THE D-D-D-D-D-D-DAWN WILL TAKE YOU A-A-A-A-A-A-ALL!* “
„Who‘s that?“
„Can we eat him to?“
„ *Y O U S H A L L N O T* cook!“
There must be a cake nearby...
Something’s terribly wrong!
Yes?
*immediately forgets and remembers several times*
He's a gunda-bad-gun-guns! They will outrun you!
Nobody's talking about "Are we at peace? Merry and Pippin have come down from the mountains. They are raping villages, destroying farms" 10:55
Dangerous pair of Hobbits those two
*Raiding villages
Also "Orcs have peed on us on the road"
Merry, Pippin, noooo!
@@haystackbill6187 🤣🤣🤣😂😂
“YOU SHALL NOT. cook”
Stop stop stop stop stop!😬
8:03
There is no way
Cheese knife
Random Dude into the mountain
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: That is not true.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Thorin: How came you by this?
Balin: There is no way.
Gandalf: It was given to me by your father.
Balin: No way into the mountain.
Gandalf: By Thrain. For safekeeping.
Balin: There is no way into the mountain.
Gandalf: It is yours now.
Balin: No way.
Fili: There's a key. There must be a door.
Balin: Nope.
Gandalf: These runes speak of a hidden passage.
Balin: Nope.
Gandalf: To the lower halls.
Kili: There's another way in!
Balin: There is no fucking way into the mountain.
Thorin: AHHHHHH!
That was possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen.
*scoot* *scoot*
the no way into the mountain scene makes me laugh to death every time. there is no fuckimg way
Just like arguing with my dad. :D
AH AH AH AH AHHHHH
scuuus
-SASUSASUBABUBABUSAMIGIMASAMIGIMASUBASUBABUSUS.
-Beg your pardon?
-SASUSASUBABUBABUSAMIGIMASAMIGIMASUBASUBABUSUS.
I'm sorry do I know you?
I'm Gandalf! And Gandalf means... Good morning!
Good morning.
That was my favorite part.
Just tea, thank you
Watched this on acid. It was the most profound feature-length film I'd ever watched.
Remember kids! Do drugs! Because clearly that’s safe!
Bro I have watched this. Stoned. Tripping. Rolling. And sober. It gets me every time.
Thank you for fully reinforcing my point!
Too much free time is the greatest drug of them all.
May i recommend you to watch holy grail while on acids?
YOU! SHALL NOT! cook.
There's a good morning on this particular morning.
I'd rather say that I feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning.
Gonzalo Mantilla But I would say this particular morning is a good particular morning for a particular morning.
Gonzalo Mantilla Susahbusbussuhbabubasus.
Kiddlez you made my day
They pillaged the pantry, they pillaged the bathroom, I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to my cheese knife.
Cheese knife ?
I don't understand what they're don't understand what they're don't what they're don't what they're doing in my house!
'scuus
I don't understand what they're doing in my doo-doo
Cheeseknife!
You must be Mr. Bond! Nope.
You must be Mr. Bobba Fett! Nope.
You must be Mr Bombomb! Nope.
You must be Mr. Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo.
Nope-nope.
Fili. And Fili. At your sus.
We'd never get everyone in!
+Pizza Time Everyone!? How many more are there?
Everyone.
I want you to know that my sister and I watched this video religiously in middle school and to this DAY we cannot watch the opening scenes of the Hobbit without cracking up. Thanks for being a good chunk of our childhood, lol
this is the same with me and my brother hahah
For years, my cousins and I would watch these every time we saw each other. And now we can’t watch Return of the King without thinking “A new day! A red day! A red sword day! A sword red day!”
@@praisethesun1172"And the Dark Knight Rises!!"
There is no way into the mountain >:o
THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY
Thorin: RRRROOOOOOOOH *ragequits*
Smaug, Airborne Fire Bee
You know nothing of this matter. Please stock to eating your cheese by the cheese knife.
There is NO FUCKING WAY into the mountain.
I can't believe this YTP is almost 4 years old already... if feel old lol.
Still one of the best YTP's on youtube.
Agreed I wish our favorite ytp creators still made these masterpieces of poop
Nexion Nekros I miss his debate ytps :(
I cant believe this movie is 7 years old!
5 years now ;)
I can't believe your comment is almost 2 years old already.
"did you know your great great great great grand uncle was a horse?..."
*gandalf rolls 20 on persuasion*
*instant convince*
"YOOOOUUU! SHALL NOOOOOOT!!!
...Cook."
Gandalf: I'm accustomed to the smell of Hobbit butt.
Bilbo: *LOOKS HORRIFIED*
Gandalf is obviously talking about Belladonna Took's butt.
That is so wrong, but yet so funny!!😂
*BILBO BAGGINS!!!*
I can't just go running off into the blue. I am a bag in box.
@@rufousthefox9766 you are also a fool of a took
"The kickass blade, forged by Elvis"
ayy lmao
+keltribel You must be Mr bond?
*****
Nope
+Metal Man (pembo220) You must be Mr. Bob-omb.
Robert Jindra
Nope
You must be mister bond!. "NOPE!"
"You must be mister BOB ba fett." "NOPE!"
"You must be mister BOB-BOMB" "NOPE!"
"You must be mister BA, BA-BA-BA-BA", "NOP-NOPE!"
"Lets shove this in the whole otherwise we won't get everyone in." "Everyone? How many are they? "Everyone." "Everyone?" "Everyone." "How many more is everyone?" "Everyone."
*Boba Fett
LightgreenLP cheese knife?
@@jesuspi3ce Cheese knife.
Best part!
1:54
"If there's a key, there must be a door"
Balin- "Nope!"
There is no f🤬cking way into the mountain...
Noah Blair Thorin: AhHhHhHhHhHh!
*gets up and immediately sits back down*
Teeth like razors, claws like CHEESE KNIVES
*Thorin rage quits*
That would be a reference to Smaus the Terrible. Airborne fire bee.
There is no way into the mountain
That my dear pulsing thunder, is not entirely true...
Cheese knife! 😃
Merry and Pippin have come down from the mountains. They are raiding villages, destroying farms.
Jimbo co. There is No fucking way
And then there's good ol' me who understood "they're raping villages"...
Orcs have peed on us on the road
Just tea Thank you
Rui Synx
You're not alone, my friend
3:27 - 4:08 this was stuck in my head for 2 days straight
kill me
I LOVE THAT SONG
for me 1 day.
will it be the 2th day?
Hot Bays
How can anyone dislike this joyous sea shanty? :>
Everytime when i hear it remember the past of last time i watched in my wii :, |
"This is Orcrist - a kickass blade, forged by Elvis."
Damn. I need me one of those.
Same
"You got a cheese knife?"
"Cheese knife? He eats it by the cheese knife."
(HEART STOPS)
Veeti Mäkinen only the most courageous can eat it like that!
Cheese Knife? 🧀🗡
cHeeSE KnIfe!?
Cheese knife! 😃
"Thorin Pikachu"
-"This is the hoe? It look gross"
+Nikola Minic I always hear it "So this is the HoH"... sounds more funny to me :D
Good morning!
Isn't it pukenshield?
Look in the description....It's not hoe, It's HoH
I thought it was Thorin Pecanshield.
124 people couldn't find a fucking way into the mountain.
124 People didn't like CHEESE KNIVES!
There's no way into the mountain
Cheese knife?
+TheGrayMysterious cheese kneiv.
There is no fucking way into the mountain.
There 👏is 👏no 👏way 👏into 👏the mountain 👏
8:09
'YOUU SHALL NOOOT... cook!'
'There must be a cake nearby...'
🤣🤣
EliteSoldier 🎂 🍰 🧁
Bofur: CHEESE KNIFE?! *he yelled that and a stampede of orcs came chasing them*
CHEESE CAKE
Everything tastes like cheese cake!
8:16
"If theres a key, there must be a door!"
"No"
Lol
It's in the details =)
No way into the mountain!
There is no fucking way into the mountain
*rage-quits*
NuclearPatato You are also a cook!
I want to see a sequel where Smaug brags about his cheese knife claws.
That would be the definition of perfection.
Cheese Knife?
@@thedude3065 cheese knife? Did you say cheese knife?
@@dr.bright6272 Cheese Knife?
OooooOoooooOooooOoooo
"So... this is the HOHH"
"He looks gross"
Exactly the thoughts pikachu thought of ash on first meeting
I don't understand what they're doing in my house!
I don't understand what they're doing in my do-do!
I don't understand what they're doing in my cheese knife!
Cheese knife X3
:3
CookieAngel :P
I'm not even gonna tell you what they've done to my cheese knife
Skeeekz
There is no way into the mountain.
That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.
Sezune Mizuhana There is no way into the mountain!
Bobbobq Entertainment That is not true.
Sezune Mizuhana There is no way into the mountain!
There is no fah-king way into the mountain!
Michael Bay-worshipping dwarves.
Gandalf’s love of good mornings and hatred of cooks.
Santa Balin’s hard-on for roadless mountains.
Thorin’s utter disappointment with the call of nature.
The door chimes of Bilbo’s abode.
Kickass blades forged by Elvis that can cleave orcs and ham alike.
That doggone cheese knife.
You’re doing God’s work.
Michformer not to mention Radagast playing Mario Kart lol
Don’t forget the trolls that can only taste chicken but somehow don’t want to taste chicken but instead want to taste chicken!
You're forgetting the fire bee smaug that has claws like cheese knives and the stubborn Balin that insists on the non-existence of a way into Erebor.
@@sauron8838 "There is no fucking way into the mountain!".
@@Optimegatrongodzilla *Thorin loses it*
There are so many grade A quotes but for some reason, today I'm appreciating:
"How many is 'everyone?'"
"Everyone"
because technically he's telling the truth
"This is Orcrist... the Goblin cleaver. A kickass blade forged by Elvis." 9:25
Best single line in all of RUclips.
>Stop! STOP! Stop! Stop! STOP! Stop! Stop! STOP! Stop!
>What is the matter?"
>I forgot to pee...
>NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!!
!!!!!!ooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOON
That moment when you're son says that and you just drove past the last rest stop.
The only Gospel I know of is the Gospel of Dismay.
That moment you go to the pub after a run, pay for your ice cold drink then you trip and you spill your drink!
"You are making a terrible steak."
"I forgot to pee"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!
My girlfriend just bought me a Cheeseknife engraved with "Good morning. What do you mean Good Morning?"
I realise now I should marry this one. 😂
Did ya?
She's the one, mate
Omg 😍
"Fili."
"And Fili."
"At your SUS!"
U must be mr bombobo
BanterLicious Gaming
"Nope!"
"You must be mr Boba Fett!"
"Nope!"
"You must be Mr Bombomb!"
"Nope!"
"You must be mr BO BO BO BOBO-"
"NOPENOPE!"
It's Fíli
+DynoSkrimisher "come on, give us a hand job."
Hot Rod everyone? How many is everyone?
You're also...
A fool of a Took
You're also...
A tool of Took
You're also tool of a toot
You're also a COOK! 😂
YOU SHALL NOT cook.
that's oddly corect
Did you know your uncle was a horse?
Geco is a Lizard I can't just go running off into the blue! I am a baginbox!
IM A BAG IN BOX😂
"Those are Goongabellgoosgoos! They will outrun you!"
"These are Russtibellrussruss! I'd like to see them try."
*Mario Kart music plays*
+Philip Kevan (facepalm)
The first one.
NO! it's Mario Kart 64
clockwerk35 Its the Super Mario Kart title theme
Super Mario Kart Main Theme, to be specific.
Man I miss TheMarklar01. These were the days of great Cheese knifes, Roast Chickens, Happy Landings, Absent Of Pressings Of Stop Buttons, Stuffings, Pizza Times and Arabian Cakes.
I wish we could get him to come back
Damn, I still remember when I first watched one of his YTPs. I believe it was Lord of the Roast Chicken. It was the YTP that really got me hooked on YTPs back in the day.
cheese knife?
He's back 🤓
@@haystackbill6187 roast chicken? Same man
Lost my shit at "A kickass blade.. Forged by Elvis"
that... was the best.
But who made Glamdring the ham cleaver?
And who made the cheese knife?
[Michael Rosen voice] I dunno?
*SCHOOOOP*
*smacks lips*
noice
I don't understand what they are doing to my cheese knife!
Cheese Knife!
Eddie Olshefski Cheese knife!
I won't even tell you what they did to my cheese knife...
Jakeito413 Cheese knife!
There's no way into the cheeseknife
You must be Mr. bond
No
You must be Mr. Bobba fett
No
You must be Mr. Bob-omb
No
You must be Mr. Bo bo-bo bo bo
No no
No fucking way into the mountain
Mr. Avery Van Hoose
YOU SHALL NOT cook.
Declan Stowers that's what Bilbo Baggins HaAaaaauuuueaaaah!
BILLBOO BAGGINNSS!!!!
That'd be a reference to Smaus the Terrible.
0:27
Auctioneers be like:
This is THE underrated comment of all time
I'm in that minority that enjoyed the Hobbit films.
But this. This is just golden!
Golden like the treasure of SmauS
Just wait for the battle of the 5 cheeseknives
Ah yes, SmauS the Terrible, airborne fire bee
Teeth like razors, claws like CHEESE KNIVES
*OHHOHHOHHO*
Calum HGaming C H E E S E K N I F E ?
Can we all just agree there's no way into the mountain?
Mhm
no
no fucking way
There is no f*cking way.
If there's a key, there must be a door...!
You should make ytps for the other two hobbit movies
YES!!!!
+Michael Fordude good morning
+Joseph Stakel Jr. what do you mean? do you mean that this morning is a good morning or not a good morning on this particular morning?
+Michael Fordude well...um profile pic?
pikatron 101 lol awkward
I don't laugh very easily, but from 9:55 to the end I genuinely lost my shit.
Thank you.
10:22😂😂😂
"Saszussass sublebumlsalinga salingasubamba zuss!"
"... Beg your pardon...?"
_"Saszussass sublebumlsalinga salingasubamba zuss!"_
I’m sorry do I know you?
I'm Gandalf. And Gandalf means good morning
Good morning!
*rapidly hammers self into door*
YOU ARE AMAZING AT TAKING WORDS AND SOUNDS AND TURNING THEM INTO MUSIC!!! You've got some amazing talent! Subbed because your videos are incredible!
Good morning
"That would be a reference to Smaus the Terrible - Airborne Fire Bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knife."
Genuinely my favorite YTP of all time. Thank you so much for this.
Cheese knife.
*gets up and immediately sits back down*
@@noahblair3020everyone: 🤨
*Song of Healing strummed from a harp*
"I feel like I'm at a funeral!" 🤣🤣
Alright lads, there’s only one thing for it!
e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!
inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn
beneath an old grey hill,
And there they brew a beer so brown
That plays a five-stringed so
oo
The ostler has a tipsy cat
that plays a five-stringed fiddle;
And there they brew a beer so brown
That plays a five-stringed so
oo
The Man in the Moon himself came down
The Man in the Moon himself himself came
The Man in the Moon himself came down
The Man in the Moon himself himself came
He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the tune
He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the dead
He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the tune
He squeaked and sawed and he quickened the dead
Landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
‘It’s after three!’ he said.
Landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
‘It’s after three!’ he said said.
Landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
‘It’s after three!’ he said.
Landlord shook the Man in the Moon:
‘It’s after three!’ he sa-sa-said.
andhesawsandsawsnowsqueakingsqueakingsawsandsawsandhe
andhesawsandsawsnowsqueakingsqueakingsawsandsawsandhe
soo soo soo *soo* so-soo *soo* so-sooooo
and up and down he saws his bow now squeaking hi-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-iiiiigh~
*repeatedly throws food at a statue*
Sheik... Is that you?
That would be a reference to Smaus the Terrible, Airborne Fire Bee. Teeth like razors, claws like cheese knives.
Thorin: AUAUAUAUAAAAAAAAH
I am a cook, but I cannot not cook. Some dwarves pillaged my pantry, and ate all my cheese by the cheese knife. I cannot even tell you what they've done with my cheese knife. And yet, they still keep asking for it. Afterwards, I couldn't find my cheese knife. I asked if any had seen my cheese knife. "Cheese knife?" came the reply. I still haven't found my cheese knife, so I cannot cook with cheese.
Cheese knife. 😏
+Johnathan Powers He eats it by the Cheese Knife!
Nice 1-year-old poem.
I might recite it in one of my videos.
´Scuuuus
YOU SHALL NOT cook
"Did you know that your great great great uncle was a horse...?"
*Sighs...*
*Gets Confidence to go on an adventure *
Still better than Rings of Power.
Very true
You are making a terrible steak
*roast chicken?!*
"You are making a TERRIBLE steak" XD
The secret to cooking dwarf is... to sys
3:19 "I don`t understand what they`re doing in my doo-doo!"
Humble Noon - Exactly what I said, but with 77 more likes. Maybe I should have added an X and a D.
Then YOU SHALL NOT cook!
🥩
310 people who disliked this video think that there is no way into the mountain.
Its cause there is no heking way into the mountain
*OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!!*
"Allow me to introduce the leader of our company...
Thorin Pikachu. (Pikashield?)"
"So this is the HoH?
It looks gross."
"There must be a cake nearby"
_Gandalf looks at Thorin with utter confusion_
Cheese knife?
Cheese knife!
+Johnathan Powers cheese knife
+Urdnot Stark AAAAAAAAHHH!!!!
Cheeseknife? He eats it by the cheeseknife!
Cheese knife!
This is a work of art.
and it is also a fool of a took
+Josh Gold (Joshie) and it is also a COOK
+Graham Kristensen It is also the stuffing.
+Graham Kristensen it makes me want to be an hero as well
"YOU SHALL NOT....cook!"
There must be a cake nearby.
+HawkeyeNextGen we wish to buy a cake!
Johnny Weissmuller I am Gandalf! And Gandalf means 'Good morning'!
Airborne fire bee
+DynoSkrimisher Good Morning! *kick the door several times*
"Do you know that your great great great uncle was horse"
-Gandalf
It took me a while, but I think this is the best part.
You are also a fool of a Took!
*sigh*
You are also a tool of a Fook!
*sigh*
You are also a foof of a Toot!
*sigh*
You are also a
COOK!
your great great great great uncle was a horse.
+Johnathan Powers YOU SHALL NOT cook.
There's no way into the mountain.
I am a BAG IN BOX.
This video is more stupid than Purple Shep.
If you listen closely at 7:30, you can hear Frodo saying "roast chicken?" in the background.
Indiana Jones OMG! I heard that when I first watched this but I thought it was only me!! 😂😂
You never know
8:08 YOOOOUUUU!! SHALL!! NOOOOOT!! cook.
Completely lose it every time. Best thing about this poop.
And that's saying something..
👩🏻🍳 👨🏻🍳
There must be a cake nearby...
0:39 - 0:52 literally what having OCD is like.
Holy shit this is so true
"Allow me to introduce the leader of our company... Thorin Pikachu"
"So this is the HoH? He looks gross."
"The reign of the bee... will end"
Alex Saviour What bee?
***** well that would be a reference to smaus the terrible, airborne fire bee teeth like razors, claws like CHEESE KNIVES.
OOOH-OOOH-OOOH-OOOH-OOOH-OOOH-OOOH
There is no way into the mountain.
That is not entirely true.
***** No. No way.
***** Just tea, thank you.
***** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Dominic DiMaio Yes
My dear BILBO!!!
My dear Gandalf!
***** My dear (in knowing tone) Bilbooooo
stefan bayoumi my dear BILBO!!!!!
JClayton 1994
You certainly seem to like Bofur.
No one likes harry.
"Stop STOP stop stop Stop STOP stop stop stop STOP stop stop Stop stop stop stop stop"
"What on earth is the matter?"
"I forgot to pee"
And I almost did
*NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!....*
OOOOONNNNNNNNN
“These are Gundabad Gungans!”
“These are Rascavel RasRas!”
I'd like to see them try.
*GunGuns
Gundabad gungans (gungun gungungungunguns): they will outrun you!
Rascavel rasras (rascavus rascavies) I’d like to see them try
(super Mario kart main theme plays)
This is orcist... the goblin cleaver... a kick🤬ss blade forged by Elvis...
What do you mean? Do you mean to wish me a good morning or do you mean it is a good morning whether it is a good morning or not a good morning on this morning? Or perhaps you mean to say that you feel this morning is a good morning on this morning because it is a good morning on this particular morning. Or are you simply stating that you have morning wood on this particular morning?
Insert inception music here
All of them at once, I suppose
I am accustomed to the smell of hobbit butt, and while the hobbit is accustomed to the smell of dragon cock, the scent of dwarf cum is all but unknown to him. *Bilbo passes out* Gandalf: BIBLO BAGGINS!
I am being completely honest, this video i first saw with anxiety and mild depression. it just cheers me up every time its just so silly xD.
since then i have forgotten of sad days xDd
Admiral Wolf same here
Same man this is the best
Ytp's are the future of comedy. The normal and conventional jokes and stand ups in comedy just doesn't get to me anymore.
Same. Its so good
This is such a nice comment :)
I periodically remember parts of this ytp at random and giggle at them
I have attempted to translate Bofur's beautiful song:
Rt-rt-rt-ee-ee-ee-ee-rt-ee-ee-rt-ee-ee-eeeeee!
There's an inn, there's an inn, there's a merry old inn beneath an old grey hill, and there they brew a beer so brown, the maisty find some chode, the ostler has a tipsy cat, that plays a five-stringed fiddle, and there they brew a beer so brown the maisty find some chode-
Now the man in the moon is SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY! Now the man in the moon is SALTY SALTY!
A squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew, a squiggly scotty and a jew!
As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID! As the landlord shook the man in the moon it's after three he SAID-SAID-SAID!
Squatty slow now squeaking squeaking low now shursh the squatty slows a bone us squeaking squeaking low now spinters splandy DO! DO! DO! DO-DADO! DO-DADO!
And now he takes the squatty slow now squeaking HRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
AllPie MustDie Fucking beautiful mate 😂
That actually matches up pretty well.
AllPie MustDie
Now squeaking
HRRRRRRRRRRRRR
Yes. HRRRRRR.
the beginning of your translation made me laugh so hard
Claws like cheese knives. xD
kek
Cheese knife. 😏
"He eats it by the cheese knife"
+The Heartless AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Airborne fire bee.
"Did you know that your Great Great Great Great Uncle was a horse?"
These words inspired Bilbo to go on an adventure
Airborne fire bee...
the reign of the bee
+James “Jim” Moriarty
OAH OAH OAH OAH OAH OAH OAH OAH
+DogeBomb
There is no way into the mountain.
+Owen Martinelli
That is not true
+Sherlock Holmes Cheeseknife?