Thank you for addressing this topic, attraction is really a deal breaker for me and I discovered that a bit late in my life I wasn't so sure what makes me refusing good men proposing to me over and over again ... and what hurts me about our society and even my parents, that they totally understand when the man choose a girl he likes or won't accept marrying a good girl just because he doesn't find her beautiful but when it comes to Muslim girls, noooo, they are telling you are being silly, this is not what matters in marriage, you are committing a sin because this is shallow and so on ... I even hated myself, doubted myself, thinking maybe I don't like men in general ... I suffered a lot especially with my family urging me to get married and I'm getting old ... a lot of pressure and I really wanna get married but I am so afraid to force myself into marrying someone I don't like then end up on hating him and getting a divorce. 💔
This is an EXCELLENT discussion; wow! this really warms up the mind. Well, Men are different, we see attraction FIRST - and we want to be attracted in order to be "motivated' and that's a LARGE part of being a Man. However, the most IMPORTANT thing for the Muslim Man are the other two, Deen, that is utmost, her dignity, her obedience to the five pillars, and her consistency in performing these with or without his involvement because she will pass these on to the children, and then the final which is least discussed but most important, the way she treats HIM with respect, that is to say, finds ways to make him happy, keep his temper at bay, and organize things the way he likes so that in his mind (even if it's not his idea) everything is accustomed to his liking, (real or imagined - Muslima's just make us "think" it's our idea:). and this is the KEY to compatibility - so YES< without attraction he wont' get married, BUT the other two make up 90% of a successful marriage, so it's also tragic that they're not First! Allah (swt) please give me the wisdom, when I choose my Niquabi, that in Reverse Order I see her 1) Compatibility Respect for me 2) Deen and Dignity and obedience 3) Attraction, which in the perfect world, would get us closer to finding our perfect mate. Yet, I say this; I would suffer 1,000 incompatible Muslima's than one Non-muslim, it is our responsibility as Muslim Men to find a way to get married and keep Islam alive and thriving into the next millennium.
You are wrong men are not different, I am a woman and attraction is important to me, it comes third just after deen and compatibility ... it's really a deal breaker for many women, not just men. And by the way, how would you see a girl if she is wearing in nikab, I don't understand ?!!
One problem today is that most people today have looked at so many of the opposite sex that they've acquired preferences. It's one thing to have attraction and another to have preferences and desires for a specific type. And if a man is masculine and a woman feminine, USUALLY this helps. Too many are opposite.
Trendafile there is an hr and half discussion on this panels discussion. Actually sister Naima is doing such beautiful work bringing awareness on this topics. She has a lot of great speakers join her on this discussions May Allah reward them all and help all the Ummah ❤️
I wish I could experience what it would be like to even have that consideration if chemistry or compatibility with a woman. I’ve been rejected from the outset for 12 years, I have never experienced what it feels like to even have a woman like me and consider me for marriage. I’m going to die single most likely and I’m looking into chemical castration as well. Maybe adopt some orphan children so I can at least experience what it feels like to be a father
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Thank you for addressing this topic, attraction is really a deal breaker for me and I discovered that a bit late in my life I wasn't so sure what makes me refusing good men proposing to me over and over again ... and what hurts me about our society and even my parents, that they totally understand when the man choose a girl he likes or won't accept marrying a good girl just because he doesn't find her beautiful but when it comes to Muslim girls, noooo, they are telling you are being silly, this is not what matters in marriage, you are committing a sin because this is shallow and so on ...
I even hated myself, doubted myself, thinking maybe I don't like men in general ... I suffered a lot especially with my family urging me to get married and I'm getting old ... a lot of pressure and I really wanna get married but I am so afraid to force myself into marrying someone I don't like then end up on hating him and getting a divorce. 💔
Salam sis, how is it going now? I am in the same boat as you.
Salam...how was u able to get ut all right..plzz guide me...i dont find a person attractive but he has deen and ikhlaq. What should i do😢
This is an EXCELLENT discussion; wow! this really warms up the mind. Well, Men are different, we see attraction FIRST - and we want to be attracted in order to be "motivated' and that's a LARGE part of being a Man. However, the most IMPORTANT thing for the Muslim Man are the other two, Deen, that is utmost, her dignity, her obedience to the five pillars, and her consistency in performing these with or without his involvement because she will pass these on to the children, and then the final which is least discussed but most important, the way she treats HIM with respect, that is to say, finds ways to make him happy, keep his temper at bay, and organize things the way he likes so that in his mind (even if it's not his idea) everything is accustomed to his liking, (real or imagined - Muslima's just make us "think" it's our idea:). and this is the KEY to compatibility - so YES< without attraction he wont' get married, BUT the other two make up 90% of a successful marriage, so it's also tragic that they're not First! Allah (swt) please give me the wisdom, when I choose my Niquabi, that in Reverse Order I see her 1) Compatibility Respect for me 2) Deen and Dignity and obedience 3) Attraction, which in the perfect world, would get us closer to finding our perfect mate. Yet, I say this; I would suffer 1,000 incompatible Muslima's than one Non-muslim, it is our responsibility as Muslim Men to find a way to get married and keep Islam alive and thriving into the next millennium.
You are wrong men are not different, I am a woman and attraction is important to me, it comes third just after deen and compatibility ... it's really a deal breaker for many women, not just men.
And by the way, how would you see a girl if she is wearing in nikab, I don't understand ?!!
One problem today is that most people today have looked at so many of the opposite sex that they've acquired preferences. It's one thing to have attraction and another to have preferences and desires for a specific type. And if a man is masculine and a woman feminine, USUALLY this helps. Too many are opposite.
But attraction is jus as important to women.. This video was kinda short
Trendafile there is an hr and half discussion on this panels discussion. Actually sister Naima is doing such beautiful work bringing awareness on this topics. She has a lot of great speakers join her on this discussions May Allah reward them all and help all the Ummah ❤️
What are your thoughts on 'chemistry' is that a western concept we've adopted but no one can really define?
Deen and compatibility
Always choose attraction, because if you chose compatibility only you'll get stuck in the roommate syndrome
I wish I could experience what it would be like to even have that consideration if chemistry or compatibility with a woman. I’ve been rejected from the outset for 12 years, I have never experienced what it feels like to even have a woman like me and consider me for marriage.
I’m going to die single most likely and I’m looking into chemical castration as well.
Maybe adopt some orphan children so I can at least experience what it feels like to be a father
Thomas can i take a look at you, at photo of yourself. i might be able to help you. have you looked into self development?
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