Did this episode resonate with you, and you want to talk it out with a license mental health professional? We’re partnering with Sweet Mango Therapy to help Fil-Ams heal from their family trauma - visit bit.ly/sweetmangotherapy to book a free 15-min consultation!
The biggest irony is that asian parents expect respect from their kids but won't give it to their kids. Then they wonder why their kids don't respect them.
Idk, but most Asian kids are some of the most respectful kids towards their parents and elders. I think that most Asian parents are able to impose respect, rules, but most importantly, attunement to their kids. Everyone’s different of course but when it comes to raising respectful kids, I’d say Asians are doing better
This is true. But I feel sad for them because they don’t really know any better, this is what they’ve been doing for years. Although I resent my mom at times I know she did everything out of love and that’s the best way she knew how to show it to me.
Elders like to say (when confronted w/ their flaws) excuses like “it’s my first time too” “it hurts me too” or “i did my best” (comparing to their child’s feelings???) and their inability to apologize, but i guess one step at a time. Props to the mom for genuinely being open minded about this topic.
Can I just say how lucky you are that despite growing up with a strict life, your mom told you she was proud of you and that she loves you? I’m in the early 40s and I grew up just like your mom. No proud moments or an “I love you” so it’s just now that I hear it on a daily basis from my kids and my husband. We always aim to do better with every generation.
So relatable being the eldest and seeing your parents go through financial hardships and just always having to hear no as an answer when you want to do something with friends or for school. Childhood trauma for sure 😢
Will you be featuring any trauma bond episodes with fathers? It would be nice to see a daughter & father or even a father & son It may be hard for some men but we need to be open with our loved ones
When I was a psychology major in NJ no joke I didn't even learn about trauma bonding and now I easily find videos on RUclips it makes me happy to see how far things have come
My mom is filipina and im 41 but she treats me like a child. She likes to control what people do, how they look etc etc. I want to be close with her but i will only get hurt.
i absolutely love this series. i recently came across one down media, and i'm so glad i did. many asian american children, including filipinos (i am filipino myself), need to be exposed to this kind of content. for me, it's easy to talk about my traumas and hardships regarding my parents with my friends, but it's another step to fully confront that trauma head-on with the source (the parents), let alone in front of a camera. these people are strong, and i hope that their relationship with each other improves and flourishes in the future, which is something i hope to see in my life as well.
My Korean mother disrespected me, my then boyfriend/now husband, AND his family two years ago when I tried moving out. She was offended that I was beginning a new life and saw my actions as unforgivable. To this day, she expects me (and only me) to go to her and beg for forgive…I really can’t when my husband and his family have been affected as well and in her eyes they don’t exist. No matter how much I would like to do this kind of therapy, the mentality of “the parent is always right” and “my daughter is not in her right mind with her ADHD” are things that have been unchanging in my experience going into adulthood. Sadly, my mental health has been far better without her in my life and until she makes an effort to change for the better, I shall continue to keep my distance with a cracked door.
Cute! Filipina mothers are cray. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I'm a Filipina American mom to my 25 yr old son. My mom is currently not talking to me, which is something I'll probably never do to my son. Of course, I never had a daughter, and I'm glad because I wouldn't want to raise anyone remotely close to my mudder!
To be honest, we need to also look at our elders perspective. This generation is good for having to speak up for themselves, but we all know it's different for them. They were thought to keep it all inside, and they also do not know how to break their horns because of the pain they experienced.
This is true. You don’t have to forgive them or talk to them but I believe they should also be given the chance to heal themselves. Being Filipino is extremely difficult it’s not all “oh they’re so happy karaoke jollibee” it’s a life of survival and sacrifice for a lot of them because of years of Spanish colonialism.
Crazy how we get older we can get closer to our moms when they used to be such narcissists when we were younger 🥲 Me and my mom are the closest we’ve ever been. I legit thought growing up she thought me as the bad evil kid or victimizing herself from anything I did and always just gave my brother all the praises and love that I should’ve gotten. I never gotten in trouble, never had a bf til 21, didn’t have friends or go to parties, didn’t smoke or drink, was going to architecture school but it wasn’t enough for her to give me the same love she gave my brother. But now that my dad passed away and I have my own family, we’re like best friends and she talks to me like an actual adult. We can relate to each other now as mothers and wives. We can talk about my brother lmao 😂 Anyways I loved this episode. Keep posting more!
Would love to challenge the team to find a parent/child duo that aren’t living together but want to mend their relationship (I know that might be hard 😂). This is such a relatable series and I love seeing moms who are willing to be so open minded and honest with their kids. I feel like there’s another level to unlock next and I can’t wait to see it unfold.
Very relatable and real. This show is amazing and the guests are as well allowing themselves to be vulnerable for the world to see. These conversations between children and parents need to happen more especially in cultures where it is not the norm. Can’t wait to see a dad and son or dad and daughter one!❤
Could there be a video with an only daughter? I feel like being the eldest only daughter (family full of younger boy cousins) is packed with a lot of trauma and expectations from my family and I’d love to see that dynamic. These videos are so eye opening
NC with my dad since last thanksgiving. I exposed his abuse to the entire family that day and haven't seen anyone but my white mom since. Seeing him Saturday for my Lola's 90th.... Ty for this series
I love watching these videos, but there’s always certain points where my face gets like this 😐. However, even though I don’t understand them completely at times, I’m still putting in the effort to try to improve our relationship. The older generations of Filipinos and the younger generation have a very tumultuous relationship, and I feel like it’s mostly put on young people to give grace to older folks, and I understand that to an extent, but at the same time, it’s so tiring trying to find common ground and mutual respect with someone so stuck in their ways. And again, I understand WHY they are that way. That’s how they were raised, and for a lot of us who come from immigrant families, our parents were constantly in survival mode. So I understand why they are the way that they are, but it still doesn’t feel good to be treated that way. Trying to maintain a healthy relationship is a two-person job, and I’m constantly working on that with my parents.
I feel that as a first born, my younger siblings seems like theyve got it easier, even the rules have bent for them. They were so strict with me growing up that i found my way out. I wasnt able to express what i felt and i couldnt do and decide on my own, they only made me feel like my siblings are my responsibility too. They gave me guilt. That has affected me to have ill feelings towards them.
I totally relate to this! My younger brother always got away with whatever and I had to always be the responsible role model. Growing up I learnt that I let my parents to decide things for me which made me second guess every choice I make now. Now, it's my husband I turn my decisions on and ask for his opinion for everything. He thinks I have every right to have my own choice without his influence and that it's weird how dependent I am on him. I had to explain Filipino traditional culture to him and now he understands. I am glad he pushes me to have my own choices and is supportive no matter what. Also my parents don't control my choices anymore as I have found my voice and know when to fight my battles. Setting boundaries was the toughest thing I ever had to do with them and now they are coming forward with how they were raised without blocking me off. I think conversations like the video are essential for understanding but it takes 2 to tango.
You can blame your parents for the things that are not going well for you now or you can look at it from a different perspective and make different choices/actions today. What happened to you as a child, you have no control of, but you do now. Reliving the past to make "sense" of why you are now will not change your past but can be a path to live differently, view things differently and accept those decisions you made on your own as adult as your own, now.
Blunt truth. However being able to have open communication with a parent is a good first step to that realization that you don’t need anyone for validation and you are in control of your own destiny
@@Gfilam For who seek validation that may never come and then they become "stuck" and attach every negative event to it. Posting on social media is not open communication. High ACES score or not, one can either find others to blame or build resilience through self-healing and self-awareness. We can spend out adult life wondering why we are so unlucky, unloved, un(fill in the blank) or we can say, I can make choices to improve myself every day despite the challenges I went through (resilience).
I understand the concept of just get over it because at the end of the day you create your own path. But it is also valid to process trauma and to do it in a safe space. Your information is 💯 but without a safe space many people can’t just get over it. It’s both on the person and on society. Both intermingle
A view of someone who has a minor, but overblown view from others of a learning disability, dark skinned and an unfixable lazy eye, was confirmed sterilized from birth, and openly accepts the LGBTQ2S+ community, it makes me wonder, why and how I put up with old school views from my mom towards me. This video really hits me deep. I was basically a family joke, and I wonder everyday how I continue forward in life. My accomplishments including getting through three years of college without educational assistance for learning disabilities, living passed the age of thirteen totally cognitive normally though suffering from hydrocephalus, a condition that carries many barriers, having no criminal record, and spiritually healthy, my parents and rest of my family still think nothing of any of my accomplishments.
I clicked the thumbnail but the intro triggered me so much i just quit the video. Sorry that might be one less view for you but please know this is appreciated just as much. Thank you and for the people in this, you are brave.
I have same issues to my mom I’m the middle child I feel like she have favoritism to my eldest sister and younger brother when she’s mad at me she would say hurtful words towards me. The fact that I already have my own house and own family of my own my mom is living with me whenever we have arguments I tell her where is her favorites yeah I know I shouldn’t say that all I want is she should appreciate me more than them despite of being middle child I do everything for her 100% instead of the eldest sister should do if you know what I mean or at least fair and share but nadah from them. My husband is always the referee when my mom and I have arguments he would say just understand her she’s getting old and I should be understanding that’s why I’m so blessed to have him he always respects my mom since day one we started our relationship in our high school days. All I want is that my mom should see the big picture that even thou I have my own family I care for her I do more than siblings. All I want now is while pregnant on my second child she should be more cautious in everything she would say because it affects me more now I’m more sensitive now because of my pregnancy hormones I want her to back off at least a little bit towards her words to me that’s all. If there’s a chance my siblings would read this since I can’t tell them towards their faces hello siblings I think we should all do the same for our mom I’m not the only child that we should at least give time for her and also appreciate the sacrifices she did for us as a single mom come on let’s all have the experience to be involve to her about her health and all decision making not just me. That’s all peace out ✌🏼
![GEEK TIMË [OFFICIAL AUDIO]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/ry-6RvkH880/mqdefault.jpg)
Did this episode resonate with you, and you want to talk it out with a license mental health professional? We’re partnering with Sweet Mango Therapy to help Fil-Ams heal from their family trauma - visit bit.ly/sweetmangotherapy to book a free 15-min consultation!
The biggest irony is that asian parents expect respect from their kids but won't give it to their kids. Then they wonder why their kids don't respect them.
Idk, but most Asian kids are some of the most respectful kids towards their parents and elders. I think that most Asian parents are able to impose respect, rules, but most importantly, attunement to their kids. Everyone’s different of course but when it comes to raising respectful kids, I’d say Asians are doing better
This is true. But I feel sad for them because they don’t really know any better, this is what they’ve been doing for years. Although I resent my mom at times I know she did everything out of love and that’s the best way she knew how to show it to me.
Elders like to say (when confronted w/ their flaws) excuses like “it’s my first time too” “it hurts me too” or “i did my best” (comparing to their child’s feelings???) and their inability to apologize, but i guess one step at a time. Props to the mom for genuinely being open minded about this topic.
@@wt5574 respect goes both ways. Any person would know if they are respected by their parents
this!
Can I just say how lucky you are that despite growing up with a strict life, your mom told you she was proud of you and that she loves you? I’m in the early 40s and I grew up just like your mom. No proud moments or an “I love you” so it’s just now that I hear it on a daily basis from my kids and my husband. We always aim to do better with every generation.
So relatable being the eldest and seeing your parents go through financial hardships and just always having to hear no as an answer when you want to do something with friends or for school. Childhood trauma for sure 😢
Will you be featuring any trauma bond episodes with fathers? It would be nice to see a daughter & father or even a father & son
It may be hard for some men but we need to be open with our loved ones
Oof too many worms in that can.
i agree! would love to see a father x daughter or father x son. that's be interesting and healing for many
this series is genius ♥️
Right? Finally some representation n transparency.
When I was a psychology major in NJ no joke I didn't even learn about trauma bonding and now I easily find videos on RUclips it makes me happy to see how far things have come
My mom is filipina and im 41 but she treats me like a child. She likes to control what people do, how they look etc etc. I want to be close with her but i will only get hurt.
i absolutely love this series. i recently came across one down media, and i'm so glad i did. many asian american children, including filipinos (i am filipino myself), need to be exposed to this kind of content. for me, it's easy to talk about my traumas and hardships regarding my parents with my friends, but it's another step to fully confront that trauma head-on with the source (the parents), let alone in front of a camera. these people are strong, and i hope that their relationship with each other improves and flourishes in the future, which is something i hope to see in my life as well.
My Korean mother disrespected me, my then boyfriend/now husband, AND his family two years ago when I tried moving out. She was offended that I was beginning a new life and saw my actions as unforgivable. To this day, she expects me (and only me) to go to her and beg for forgive…I really can’t when my husband and his family have been affected as well and in her eyes they don’t exist. No matter how much I would like to do this kind of therapy, the mentality of “the parent is always right” and “my daughter is not in her right mind with her ADHD” are things that have been unchanging in my experience going into adulthood. Sadly, my mental health has been far better without her in my life and until she makes an effort to change for the better, I shall continue to keep my distance with a cracked door.
Cute! Filipina mothers are cray. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I'm a Filipina American mom to my 25 yr old son.
My mom is currently not talking to me, which is something I'll probably never do to my son.
Of course, I never had a daughter, and I'm glad because I wouldn't want to raise anyone remotely close to my mudder!
seriously guys, Thank you for doing this serie! It means a lot to many of us
To be honest, we need to also look at our elders perspective. This generation is good for having to speak up for themselves, but we all know it's different for them. They were thought to keep it all inside, and they also do not know how to break their horns because of the pain they experienced.
This is true. You don’t have to forgive them or talk to them but I believe they should also be given the chance to heal themselves. Being Filipino is extremely difficult it’s not all “oh they’re so happy karaoke jollibee” it’s a life of survival and sacrifice for a lot of them because of years of Spanish colonialism.
Crazy how we get older we can get closer to our moms when they used to be such narcissists when we were younger 🥲 Me and my mom are the closest we’ve ever been. I legit thought growing up she thought me as the bad evil kid or victimizing herself from anything I did and always just gave my brother all the praises and love that I should’ve gotten. I never gotten in trouble, never had a bf til 21, didn’t have friends or go to parties, didn’t smoke or drink, was going to architecture school but it wasn’t enough for her to give me the same love she gave my brother. But now that my dad passed away and I have my own family, we’re like best friends and she talks to me like an actual adult. We can relate to each other now as mothers and wives. We can talk about my brother lmao 😂
Anyways I loved this episode. Keep posting more!
This mom did a great job sending her message at the end.
That is amazing your mom’s telling & being proud of you that you are a good ate, happiness & just be kind- for me that would mean the world.
Would love to challenge the team to find a parent/child duo that aren’t living together but want to mend their relationship (I know that might be hard 😂). This is such a relatable series and I love seeing moms who are willing to be so open minded and honest with their kids. I feel like there’s another level to unlock next and I can’t wait to see it unfold.
I’m not even Filipino, I’m a Mexican American but I can relate to many things said in the video! I had tears for sure! 🥲
Very relatable and real. This show is amazing and the guests are as well allowing themselves to be vulnerable for the world to see. These conversations between children and parents need to happen more especially in cultures where it is not the norm. Can’t wait to see a dad and son or dad and daughter one!❤
Could there be a video with an only daughter? I feel like being the eldest only daughter (family full of younger boy cousins) is packed with a lot of trauma and expectations from my family and I’d love to see that dynamic. These videos are so eye opening
When I start to feel bad about my relationship with my mom, I watch this series and remind myself that other people had it worse.
Oof I’d love to see a father x daughter episode. I’d do one with my dad 😂
NC with my dad since last thanksgiving. I exposed his abuse to the entire family that day and haven't seen anyone but my white mom since. Seeing him Saturday for my Lola's 90th.... Ty for this series
Just found this series, I love it already
I love watching these videos, but there’s always certain points where my face gets like this 😐. However, even though I don’t understand them completely at times, I’m still putting in the effort to try to improve our relationship. The older generations of Filipinos and the younger generation have a very tumultuous relationship, and I feel like it’s mostly put on young people to give grace to older folks, and I understand that to an extent, but at the same time, it’s so tiring trying to find common ground and mutual respect with someone so stuck in their ways. And again, I understand WHY they are that way. That’s how they were raised, and for a lot of us who come from immigrant families, our parents were constantly in survival mode. So I understand why they are the way that they are, but it still doesn’t feel good to be treated that way. Trying to maintain a healthy relationship is a two-person job, and I’m constantly working on that with my parents.
So beautiful, would be so nice if all Filipino parents are like her mom.
I feel that as a first born, my younger siblings seems like theyve got it easier, even the rules have bent for them. They were so strict with me growing up that i found my way out. I wasnt able to express what i felt and i couldnt do and decide on my own, they only made me feel like my siblings are my responsibility too. They gave me guilt. That has affected me to have ill feelings towards them.
I totally relate to this! My younger brother always got away with whatever and I had to always be the responsible role model. Growing up I learnt that I let my parents to decide things for me which made me second guess every choice I make now. Now, it's my husband I turn my decisions on and ask for his opinion for everything. He thinks I have every right to have my own choice without his influence and that it's weird how dependent I am on him. I had to explain Filipino traditional culture to him and now he understands. I am glad he pushes me to have my own choices and is supportive no matter what.
Also my parents don't control my choices anymore as I have found my voice and know when to fight my battles. Setting boundaries was the toughest thing I ever had to do with them and now they are coming forward with how they were raised without blocking me off. I think conversations like the video are essential for understanding but it takes 2 to tango.
You can blame your parents for the things that are not going well for you now or you can look at it from a different perspective and make different choices/actions today. What happened to you as a child, you have no control of, but you do now. Reliving the past to make "sense" of why you are now will not change your past but can be a path to live differently, view things differently and accept those decisions you made on your own as adult as your own, now.
Blunt truth. However being able to have open communication with a parent is a good first step to that realization that you don’t need anyone for validation and you are in control of your own destiny
@@Gfilam For who seek validation that may never come and then they become "stuck" and attach every negative event to it. Posting on social media is not open communication. High ACES score or not, one can either find others to blame or build resilience through self-healing and self-awareness. We can spend out adult life wondering why we are so unlucky, unloved, un(fill in the blank) or we can say, I can make choices to improve myself every day despite the challenges I went through (resilience).
I understand the concept of just get over it because at the end of the day you create your own path. But it is also valid to process trauma and to do it in a safe space. Your information is 💯 but without a safe space many people can’t just get over it. It’s both on the person and on society. Both intermingle
I like this
I can relate in so many ways
A view of someone who has a minor, but overblown view from others of a learning disability, dark skinned and an unfixable lazy eye, was confirmed sterilized from birth, and openly accepts the LGBTQ2S+ community, it makes me wonder, why and how I put up with old school views from my mom towards me. This video really hits me deep. I was basically a family joke, and I wonder everyday how I continue forward in life. My accomplishments including getting through three years of college without educational assistance for learning disabilities, living passed the age of thirteen totally cognitive normally though suffering from hydrocephalus, a condition that carries many barriers, having no criminal record, and spiritually healthy, my parents and rest of my family still think nothing of any of my accomplishments.
I clicked the thumbnail but the intro triggered me so much i just quit the video. Sorry that might be one less view for you but please know this is appreciated just as much. Thank you and for the people in this, you are brave.
I have same issues to my mom I’m the middle child I feel like she have favoritism to my eldest sister and younger brother when she’s mad at me she would say hurtful words towards me. The fact that I already have my own house and own family of my own my mom is living with me whenever we have arguments I tell her where is her favorites yeah I know I shouldn’t say that all I want is she should appreciate me more than them despite of being middle child I do everything for her 100% instead of the eldest sister should do if you know what I mean or at least fair and share but nadah from them. My husband is always the referee when my mom and I have arguments he would say just understand her she’s getting old and I should be understanding that’s why I’m so blessed to have him he always respects my mom since day one we started our relationship in our high school days. All I want is that my mom should see the big picture that even thou I have my own family I care for her I do more than siblings. All I want now is while pregnant on my second child she should be more cautious in everything she would say because it affects me more now I’m more sensitive now because of my pregnancy hormones I want her to back off at least a little bit towards her words to me that’s all. If there’s a chance my siblings would read this since I can’t tell them towards their faces hello siblings I think we should all do the same for our mom I’m not the only child that we should at least give time for her and also appreciate the sacrifices she did for us as a single mom come on let’s all have the experience to be involve to her about her health and all decision making not just me. That’s all peace out ✌🏼
Too short!
channel ba ito ng mga AFAM hunters?
Filipino/Asian parents are always right. And children have no rights nor feelings.