I love this setup with the two at the top of the screen and a close-up of the speaker. Add in quality conversation, and you have a game-changing podcast. Nice one RR
I lost my first love at age 11 to a bus crash, my dog was shot at age 13, my gf murdered at age 25, my cousin, who was my best friend killed himself at age 39. I thought I'd never heal. The other day during a transpersonal therapy session I was guided to see inside why I don't feel valuable. I felt anger for all my dead friends, taken from this life too soon. Inside I felt like screaming so I felt the scream, and directly on the other side of that scream was everything I had been missing and never thought would return - joy & happiness. 🙏
I think I feel how you feel to some extent, I mean in terms of loss, sense of self value and anger. I lost my dad when I was nine and for years (who am I kidding, for decades) I was and still am angry. The sad and frustrating part is that as a kid it is very easy to feel as if it was your fault that your parent left forever. And sadly you might end up blaming yourself forever. This is how I think the self value aspect come in.. as in if you were good enough, your dad (or whoever significant you've lost) would stay alive. And the anger man ... don't even want to go there :) Sorry for all the losses Chris; I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and are addressing it. It is so easy to get back to that emotional mental space when you experience another loss.. sometimes it all comes back, the anger, the self doubt... ( if you're not conscious of course). Take great care!
Keep at it fellow being. Healing is possible for everyone and reading gabors new book I can feel his compassion through the words and remember that I too can heal
Are you using any professional services? Therapy or mentors? Having someone guide you through the process can really help. If you are, maybe not the right person for you? I like to say to myself, “I invite and welcome healing into my life” open the door for the solution to come in. Wish you health and happiness.
Can you heal trauma while still being traumatized daily? I have a friend who is in prison (because of his trauma) I am trying to help him heal but he is immersed in constant trauma and I don’t know if healing is possible in that environment. It saddens me that people who need mental health help are thrown into the toxic incarceration system.
“If it’s that easy to heal or erase trauma, it would’ve taken place already.” You still need to do the work. The point is, what happened doesn’t mean you can’t recover.
It's not easy but Gabor Mate is saying that it is possible. He is saying you cannot undo what happened to you but you can deal with it. You cannot undo your childhood trauma Sexual abuse memory and the act of being abused the day the place Bullied by someone and recieving the end of it such memories the day the people what happened to you it's all real Peer pressure and the things. This things already happened. You cannot rewind time. You cannot take control of this. However you can heal from the psychological wound that is possible by being aware and letting go. Let me tell you I have experienced everything and I have abused myself because I couldn't cope even if I tried everything it was just self medication done wrong.. I have been on my deathbed and all I think about was all the addiction and numbing myself all the adhd was me trying to feel safe and running away from my problems. I didn't recognise I could heal myself because I was running away. The trauma the pain is aggravated by our addiction and wasting away chasing dope(dopamine) and it gets superworse. So I understood that I have a better coping mechanism but that is hard to change because you have to change the environment and your brain. But I ould always take the first babysteps and be somewhere. I feel same by knowing that now I'm mindful however I can't change everything right away. Years of self abuse and self destruction the habit has been drilled into my subconscious. The most important thing I to acknowledge is subconscious brain is the most powerful thing you have and you can control it. For us trauma survivors although I can't say that im half dead already. I say there is hope and Gabor Mate said just that. We just want to be in control of our present so much because of our past that we have to learn how to let go because if we don't we will lose this battle. Please don't take yourself too harsh. Learn to forgive yourself. Hope is a powerful dream. Keep on dreaming. Don't beat yourself down. You can dream because it is possible. You can heal but it won't be easy and it shouldn't be. Only in pain we know. And we must know it with full consciousness.
So how did trauma didn't happen to me. I accepted the trauma I let go by not denying it never should or never happened to me. I wouldn't be in denial. I accept I was done this(tortured,abused) and accept it willingly. Now this can seem like consent however I always think of Jesus when I think of this instance. Like I sacrificed myself but I dint let this ruin me. I came back from this trauma not willing to be changed for worse like abuse meself now to cope with stuff but allow every pain I suffered to feel it and feel sorry for everyone including my abuser. I don't hide from this shame anymore. I feel the pain but I won't react to it. I just became concious more mindful and didn't let my lizard brain take over. It doesn't affect me how it did before. Now I am transformed. I died but I live again. I am transformed by love despite being neglected despite people not helping me. If nobody helped me in my darkest days. I have not become darkness. I have not changed. I merely accepted the circumstances. Despite being helpless. I couldn't hate because. I am love itself. Because I cannot turn back. Neglect and self hate can only destroy not create. Because I have walked the path of hatred and self loathing and negative thinking.
I accepted my fate that it was to happen in a way.i accepted my past. If I deny my past I wouldn't become myself. Therefore I no longer feel sorry for myself because I forgive myself. It's hard but I have to. I could have done something then but I didn't and I don't look at this words the same as I did then. I just didn't and that's where I am. I never say stuff like wish I could go back and tart all over again. Wish this never happened to me.. I guess this was is my life's Gethsemane. I'm no Christian in any way but I get some of the stuff. So I dont let things get in the way. Whatever happens to me I don't react instinctively. I reason and think about it. I no longer fight it. I have accepted all feelings.even if I feel anxious it's necessary but it's all in the background. The most things I think about is the present because I have changed because I was mindful of my past and my inner child and I observe my inner adult. If I do things wrong. I no longer let it hold me over for long. I forgive myself and let go and most of the time focus on good habits and keep at it because it's the better alternative and I have learned to sustain it.
I believe all of this,but guys ,that healing looks impossible. It's like a scar that u will always live with and always will remember it . Life is never the same again
I have been re-living the inward trauma trying to heal it for 28 years. You can work on the greatest "atter-trauma" perspective ever and the emotion will still come back as it happened originally, so its bullshit
But if you have trust issues and your trust is betrayed daily or frequently I don't see how that wound is going away. I mean I don't see how things from the outside are never not going to be damaging in some way. I also don't see people who've been sexually abused returning to a place of feeling comfortable again without a lot of support and work in a relationship. Our culture is incredibly toxic and relationships themselves are not conducive to healing because they can reaffirm those wounds. Lots of guys I've seen have been - and many are taught this today - highly unattuned to their partners emotional needs. Healing might occur on the individual level but it shouldn't enable the world to continue to be toxic and abusive.
I don't really go for these modern gurus either. They espouse generic methods and that's a bit dangerous/fake. Gabor is all about mindfulness - which if looked at under the microscope doesn't seem to amount to anything beyond maybe a 20 minute meditation session once per day. And that's no cure. I suggest your gf tries something scientifically validated like EMDR. And she may even benefit from the daily practice of lateral eye movements that are less thorough than that. Dr Huberman seems like a decent resource for this. I personally have tried everything for my issues and this method seems like it hits the source (amygdala malfunction).
@@ChrisJWinn I think I partied with MDMA a few times. That's technically a molly right? I've heard good things about it for therapy though. I've tried basically everything else including Ketamine. Was going to grow shrooms. Might still do that though now I don't feel like I need to. But my issues....hard to say why. From what I told therapists it was a mix of emotional neglect and harsh criticism growing up. Have had violence in my adult life but not as much as a kid (although from what the therapists told me it seems that my abuse was actually worse than getting the shit kicked out of me). Feel like it's also a genetically faulty mechanism. That's why I like the EMDR related stuff because it does something directly to the amygdala which is where this constant fear/rage comes from. With the lateral eye movements I don't feel constant dread just to leave my bed and constant wish to disappear or seriously harm certain people. I'm good. Not great but fine. Just wish I had known years before. I would have probably discovered a career I actually enjoy by now and would have done a lot better with dating had I not constantly wished for death. Makes sense right
Gabor is real gem 💎 Whenever I listen to him, he lights something in my mind.
This man is precious 🥺💓
I've never really been a fan of RUclips shorts. You're channel is changing that. Thank you 🙏
I listen to him a long while back. He’s very wise.
This man is a treasure
Yes Gabor!
I love listening to him. He can put into words most any emotions. A gifted healer. A treasure to our world.
I love this setup with the two at the top of the screen and a close-up of the speaker. Add in quality conversation, and you have a game-changing podcast. Nice one RR
Pure understanding.
Gabor is a wise angel
My favourite guest
My two favorite inspirations
So much wisdom.
I lost my first love at age 11 to a bus crash, my dog was shot at age 13, my gf murdered at age 25, my cousin, who was my best friend killed himself at age 39. I thought I'd never heal. The other day during a transpersonal therapy session I was guided to see inside why I don't feel valuable. I felt anger for all my dead friends, taken from this life too soon. Inside I felt like screaming so I felt the scream, and directly on the other side of that scream was everything I had been missing and never thought would return - joy & happiness. 🙏
I think I feel how you feel to some extent, I mean in terms of loss, sense of self value and anger. I lost my dad when I was nine and for years (who am I kidding, for decades) I was and still am angry. The sad and frustrating part is that as a kid it is very easy to feel as if it was your fault that your parent left forever. And sadly you might end up blaming yourself forever. This is how I think the self value aspect come in.. as in if you were good enough, your dad (or whoever significant you've lost) would stay alive. And the anger man ... don't even want to go there :)
Sorry for all the losses Chris; I'm glad you are taking care of yourself and are addressing it. It is so easy to get back to that emotional mental space when you experience another loss.. sometimes it all comes back, the anger, the self doubt... ( if you're not conscious of course).
Take great care!
Thank you 🙏🏻
I'm hurt and can't heal. Stuck for years now and my life sucks bad. I always feel like a wimp just talking about it... even just on here
Keep at it fellow being. Healing is possible for everyone and reading gabors new book I can feel his compassion through the words and remember that I too can heal
Are you using any professional services? Therapy or mentors? Having someone guide you through the process can really help. If you are, maybe not the right person for you?
I like to say to myself, “I invite and welcome healing into my life” open the door for the solution to come in.
Wish you health and happiness.
Let's be wimps then. We are all trying to navigate this life. It takes courage to be vulnerable in front of people.
There's something about this human's eye❤️
Listening to him itself feels like a kind of healing.. ♥
Can you heal trauma while still being traumatized daily? I have a friend who is in prison (because of his trauma) I am trying to help him heal but he is immersed in constant trauma and I don’t know if healing is possible in that environment. It saddens me that people who need mental health help are thrown into the toxic incarceration system.
Wow!
That's why two people would get different traumas from the same event..
I feel that is more of a word play. If it is that easy to heal or erase trauma, it would've taken place already.
It’s not easy but it is available. It takes work and dedication.
“If it’s that easy to heal or erase trauma, it would’ve taken place already.” You still need to do the work. The point is, what happened doesn’t mean you can’t recover.
It's not easy but Gabor Mate is saying that it is possible. He is saying you cannot undo what happened to you but you can deal with it.
You cannot undo your childhood trauma
Sexual abuse memory and the act of being abused the day the place
Bullied by someone and recieving the end of it such memories the day the people what happened to you it's all real
Peer pressure and the things.
This things already happened. You cannot rewind time. You cannot take control of this.
However you can heal from the psychological wound that is possible by being aware and letting go.
Let me tell you I have experienced everything and I have abused myself because I couldn't cope even if I tried everything it was just self medication done wrong.. I have been on my deathbed and all I think about was all the addiction and numbing myself all the adhd was me trying to feel safe and running away from my problems. I didn't recognise I could heal myself because I was running away. The trauma the pain is aggravated by our addiction and wasting away chasing dope(dopamine) and it gets superworse.
So I understood that I have a better coping mechanism but that is hard to change because you have to change the environment and your brain. But I ould always take the first babysteps and be somewhere. I feel same by knowing that now I'm mindful however I can't change everything right away. Years of self abuse and self destruction the habit has been drilled into my subconscious. The most important thing I to acknowledge is subconscious brain is the most powerful thing you have and you can control it. For us trauma survivors although I can't say that im half dead already. I say there is hope and Gabor Mate said just that. We just want to be in control of our present so much because of our past that we have to learn how to let go because if we don't we will lose this battle. Please don't take yourself too harsh. Learn to forgive yourself. Hope is a powerful dream. Keep on dreaming. Don't beat yourself down. You can dream because it is possible. You can heal but it won't be easy and it shouldn't be. Only in pain we know. And we must know it with full consciousness.
So how did trauma didn't happen to me. I accepted the trauma I let go by not denying it never should or never happened to me. I wouldn't be in denial. I accept I was done this(tortured,abused) and accept it willingly. Now this can seem like consent however I always think of Jesus when I think of this instance. Like I sacrificed myself but I dint let this ruin me. I came back from this trauma not willing to be changed for worse like abuse meself now to cope with stuff but allow every pain I suffered to feel it and feel sorry for everyone including my abuser. I don't hide from this shame anymore. I feel the pain but I won't react to it. I just became concious more mindful and didn't let my lizard brain take over. It doesn't affect me how it did before. Now I am transformed. I died but I live again. I am transformed by love despite being neglected despite people not helping me. If nobody helped me in my darkest days. I have not become darkness. I have not changed. I merely accepted the circumstances. Despite being helpless. I couldn't hate because. I am love itself. Because I cannot turn back. Neglect and self hate can only destroy not create. Because I have walked the path of hatred and self loathing and negative thinking.
I accepted my fate that it was to happen in a way.i accepted my past. If I deny my past I wouldn't become myself.
Therefore I no longer feel sorry for myself because I forgive myself. It's hard but I have to. I could have done something then but I didn't and I don't look at this words the same as I did then. I just didn't and that's where I am. I never say stuff like wish I could go back and tart all over again. Wish this never happened to me.. I guess this was is my life's Gethsemane. I'm no Christian in any way but I get some of the stuff. So I dont let things get in the way. Whatever happens to me I don't react instinctively. I reason and think about it. I no longer fight it. I have accepted all feelings.even if I feel anxious it's necessary but it's all in the background. The most things I think about is the present because I have changed because I was mindful of my past and my inner child and I observe my inner adult. If I do things wrong. I no longer let it hold me over for long. I forgive myself and let go and most of the time focus on good habits and keep at it because it's the better alternative and I have learned to sustain it.
👏🏻
Awsome. How do you heal it now.
Sometimes that wound would take years of recovery
Good
Can all the types of teauma heal?
👏👏👏
I believe all of this,but guys ,that healing looks impossible. It's like a scar that u will always live with and always will remember it . Life is never the same again
I have been re-living the inward trauma trying to heal it for 28 years. You can work on the greatest "atter-trauma" perspective ever and the emotion will still come back as it happened originally, so its bullshit
But if you have trust issues and your trust is betrayed daily or frequently I don't see how that wound is going away.
I mean I don't see how things from the outside are never not going to be damaging in some way.
I also don't see people who've been sexually abused returning to a place of feeling comfortable again without a lot of support and work in a relationship.
Our culture is incredibly toxic and relationships themselves are not conducive to healing because they can reaffirm those wounds.
Lots of guys I've seen have been - and many are taught this today - highly unattuned to their partners emotional needs.
Healing might occur on the individual level but it shouldn't enable the world to continue to be toxic and abusive.
Tell that to my ptsd gf who will argue it down all day
I don't really go for these modern gurus either. They espouse generic methods and that's a bit dangerous/fake. Gabor is all about mindfulness - which if looked at under the microscope doesn't seem to amount to anything beyond maybe a 20 minute meditation session once per day. And that's no cure. I suggest your gf tries something scientifically validated like EMDR. And she may even benefit from the daily practice of lateral eye movements that are less thorough than that. Dr Huberman seems like a decent resource for this. I personally have tried everything for my issues and this method seems like it hits the source (amygdala malfunction).
Uhhh are you blaming your gf for having ptsd??
@@jdt8983 have you tried MDMA? What are your issues and what do you think caused them?
@@ChrisJWinn I think I partied with MDMA a few times. That's technically a molly right? I've heard good things about it for therapy though. I've tried basically everything else including Ketamine. Was going to grow shrooms. Might still do that though now I don't feel like I need to. But my issues....hard to say why. From what I told therapists it was a mix of emotional neglect and harsh criticism growing up. Have had violence in my adult life but not as much as a kid (although from what the therapists told me it seems that my abuse was actually worse than getting the shit kicked out of me). Feel like it's also a genetically faulty mechanism. That's why I like the EMDR related stuff because it does something directly to the amygdala which is where this constant fear/rage comes from. With the lateral eye movements I don't feel constant dread just to leave my bed and constant wish to disappear or seriously harm certain people. I'm good. Not great but fine. Just wish I had known years before. I would have probably discovered a career I actually enjoy by now and would have done a lot better with dating had I not constantly wished for death. Makes sense right
@@outorii4659 no. she has ptsd as a result of her childhood. what she doesn't do is try to help herself.
Good comment. Christ Crucified for your sin is Salvation