If Art Critics Talked Like Football Pundits

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  • Опубликовано: 4 дек 2023
  • patreon.com/michaelspicer
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Комментарии • 361

  • @spankflaps1365
    @spankflaps1365 7 месяцев назад +1111

    It’s a game of two halves but you’ve got to give credit to the lad.
    At the end of the day, it gets dark and you go to bed.

    • @jmp01a24
      @jmp01a24 7 месяцев назад +6

      The stadiums are fully lit. It never get's too dark. Coffee not yet on the red list...

    • @2239jules
      @2239jules 7 месяцев назад +4

      😂

    • @PolishBehemoth
      @PolishBehemoth 7 месяцев назад +23

      In Africa, every 60 seconds.... a minute passes.

    • @charliestewart885
      @charliestewart885 7 месяцев назад +3

      😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @emersyn444
      @emersyn444 7 месяцев назад +8

      @@PolishBehemothTogether we can stop this 😢

  • @MG11513
    @MG11513 7 месяцев назад +1270

    We all know how difficult it is to find pockets of light, great job to do so.

    • @jmp01a24
      @jmp01a24 7 месяцев назад +1

      A bit racist that comment ain't it... Given the number of "dark" players.

    • @gabrieljenkins2970
      @gabrieljenkins2970 7 месяцев назад

      ​@@jmp01a24huh

    • @doghat1619
      @doghat1619 7 месяцев назад +33

      @@jmp01a24 You're the one making things racist

    • @RankinMsP
      @RankinMsP 7 месяцев назад +7

      @@doghat1619 and you are the only one without a sense of humour

    • @jmp01a24
      @jmp01a24 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@doghat1619 SRY it's still early, I had barely WOKEn up before I stepped into that dog poop. It was too dark to see due to the pocket of non-light.

  • @gabrielaegerter3451
    @gabrielaegerter3451 7 месяцев назад +615

    The thing about Michelangelo is he always tries to chalk it in

    • @jj9749
      @jj9749 7 месяцев назад +13

      You win

    • @neilsanghvi5229
      @neilsanghvi5229 7 месяцев назад +73

      Did you see that luminescent display last night?

    • @historywithhilbert146
      @historywithhilbert146 7 месяцев назад +5

      What an underrated comment 😂

    • @phosferrax
      @phosferrax 7 месяцев назад +5

      This is the best one.

    • @patchso
      @patchso 6 месяцев назад +2

      YT should provide some kind of ‘Super-Thumbs Up’ for comments like this.

  • @claudiaxander
    @claudiaxander 7 месяцев назад +639

    You've got to take your hat off to Mondrian for his ability to set up a corner.

    • @Poecilia1963
      @Poecilia1963 7 месяцев назад +6

      🤣

    • @jujuUK68
      @jujuUK68 7 месяцев назад +6

      @@Poecilia1963 I was over the moon for the lad, but you know the crowds, they have high expectations here....

    • @221b-Maker-Street
      @221b-Maker-Street 7 месяцев назад

      🏆
      🟨🟥🟦⬛

  • @allthingstbv8278
    @allthingstbv8278 7 месяцев назад +485

    "he lacked composure in the final third.. of the canvas" i had tears in my eyes this whole video

  • @lepari9986
    @lepari9986 7 месяцев назад +180

    Ah the ultimate cliche sentence of "great technique for a big man" included as well. You're a top top youtuber.

    • @TPRM1
      @TPRM1 7 месяцев назад +9

      That’s his job.

  • @SerMattzio
    @SerMattzio 7 месяцев назад +156

    "It's Van Gogh. I mean, _Van Gogh_ . This is Van Gogh we're talking about here. Van Gogh."

    • @mynameisciaran
      @mynameisciaran 7 месяцев назад +29

      VG. Vincenzo. Big Vin! You look at these results and you think how can someone of his calibre be at risk of getting relegated?

    • @0FFICERPROBLEM
      @0FFICERPROBLEM 7 месяцев назад +27

      The lad's got his ear to the ground - for a big transfer

    • @Rand0mN0rwegianGuy
      @Rand0mN0rwegianGuy 7 месяцев назад +6

      Some say he’s the Starriest of *all* stars out there in the Night sky.

  • @entropybentwhistle
    @entropybentwhistle 7 месяцев назад +351

    Picasso could have scored better during this time but he just seemed to be arms and legs all over the place.

    • @drs2211
      @drs2211 6 месяцев назад

      He spent his two-match suspension in the home end. There were limbs.

    • @davidmurphy7332
      @davidmurphy7332 5 месяцев назад

      The problem with Picasso was he was always knocking it square

  • @tariqk.7440
    @tariqk.7440 7 месяцев назад +69

    "Syphilis"
    Never has a sketch ended in a better way

  • @davidmurphy563
    @davidmurphy563 7 месяцев назад +264

    The delivery was just top notch. Really amazing stuff.

    • @0FFICERPROBLEM
      @0FFICERPROBLEM 7 месяцев назад +9

      He's a smashing lad by all accounts

    • @jmp01a24
      @jmp01a24 7 месяцев назад

      Replace amazing with clever. Then we can go to the Guggenheim and watch hardcore passings of the balls. Nice round shiny balls of f-art.

  • @chriswood1661
    @chriswood1661 7 месяцев назад +66

    I’d have Dali as the manager, pointing at his melted wrist watch during stoppage time.

  • @leed1568
    @leed1568 7 месяцев назад +205

    I'm looking forward to the other half of this swap when Brian Sewell covers match of the day.

    • @yippee8570
      @yippee8570 7 месяцев назад +6

      From beyond the grave? 💀💀

    • @marksieczko7766
      @marksieczko7766 7 месяцев назад +4

      Yeah!

    • @erikkennedy
      @erikkennedy 7 месяцев назад +1

      +1 for this.

    • @Levenstone132
      @Levenstone132 7 месяцев назад +3

      He liked a bit of stock car racing did Brian.

    • @richardharrold9736
      @richardharrold9736 7 месяцев назад +2

      ​@@Levenstone132 and he owned Nigel Mansell's old Merc 560SEC... now in the heritage fleet at M-B World at Brooklands.

  • @timeluster
    @timeluster 7 месяцев назад +200

    Van Gogh is the GOAT. He was prolific in front of canvas and operated with a very fluid style. Trouble is, nobody recognised his skill during his painting days; and he could've really prolonged his career, had he been given the big money contract.

  • @ftumschk
    @ftumschk 7 месяцев назад +29

    "They had a steep hill to Klimt but, at the end of the Degas, I thought the Beuys done well"

  • @anthonydpearson
    @anthonydpearson 7 месяцев назад +44

    I think what it came down to though is that Van Gogh just wanted it more

  • @CliveBilby
    @CliveBilby 7 месяцев назад +25

    Chants "Who used all the blues? Who used all the blues? You Picasso! You Picasso! You used all the blues!"

  • @unclvinny
    @unclvinny 7 месяцев назад +38

    You’re my pocket of light, Michael.

  • @tsaageotrimm
    @tsaageotrimm 7 месяцев назад +26

    "Give me a full retrospective, gaffer" 😂😂😂😂

  • @kwametoure3829
    @kwametoure3829 7 месяцев назад +48

    'Pockets of light all over his ethereal interpretations' I'm done 😆😆

  • @jennywarren3176
    @jennywarren3176 7 месяцев назад +12

    Well, we always knew da Vinci was a top, top painter but today he's really shown he can perform in other areas when Florence needed him. Did you see that helicopter? Unbelievable creativity. My MOTM.

  • @paulrichardson9843
    @paulrichardson9843 7 месяцев назад +13

    'I don't know what's happened to Degas - he's just not been at it recently. But Monet's coming on nicely and Picasso, well boy's a bit special isn't he?'

  • @youeatshowieategg
    @youeatshowieategg 7 месяцев назад +77

    OK, now can we have football pundits talking like art critics, please?
    (edited typo)

    • @ThinWhiteAxe
      @ThinWhiteAxe 7 месяцев назад +6

      PLEASE

    • @richardw1043
      @richardw1043 6 месяцев назад +4

      Why not for variety, in the marketplace of ideas, we just have art critics commentate football?

    • @youeatshowieategg
      @youeatshowieategg 6 месяцев назад

      @@richardw1043 Yep, I'd support that!

    • @youeatshowieategg
      @youeatshowieategg 5 месяцев назад +2

      "That pass was a searing satire on the concept of the game itself!" "Another goal that exposes the hypocrisy of consumerism in a postmodern context!" "Strong in execution, but his footwork only works on two levels, which feels highly reductive!"

  • @tristanclayton1139
    @tristanclayton1139 7 месяцев назад +9

    And that VAR review, beautiful way to go through it all, frame by frame.

  • @CraigEmpson
    @CraigEmpson 7 месяцев назад +15

    The unexpected sequel to pockets of space I didn't know I needed until now.

  • @DelFlo
    @DelFlo 7 месяцев назад +9

    "The final third...... of the canvas." 🤣🤣

  • @TKGriffiths
    @TKGriffiths 7 месяцев назад +6

    You could see Van Gogh's gone away and taken a long hard look in the mirror....because those self portraits were terrific.

  • @lewisanderton8062
    @lewisanderton8062 7 месяцев назад +15

    The concept alone is PURE! GENIUS! 🤣

  • @ethzero
    @ethzero 7 месяцев назад +10

    Genuinely was taking a gulp of milk right on that last line - nearly went everywhere 😂

  • @sparky4878
    @sparky4878 7 месяцев назад +20

    I think you’ll find it’s Renoiry and Degasy etc. Have to add an unnecessary “y” to the end of surnames.

  • @brianfunt2619
    @brianfunt2619 7 месяцев назад +16

    You've got to give Rembrandt credit for being clinical in front of easel

  • @Koettnylle
    @Koettnylle 7 месяцев назад +13

    Makes me wanna see an art critic using the semantics of an MMA commentator

  • @jessicaellina3878
    @jessicaellina3878 7 месяцев назад +33

    Epic, Mr Spicer! You definitely have an ear ( just like Van Gogh!) for a brilliant dialogue!!!😅😅

  • @edwardsp1916
    @edwardsp1916 7 месяцев назад +9

    It's a painting of two halves.

    • @beins9124
      @beins9124 7 месяцев назад +1

      😂😂

  • @puppy1584
    @puppy1584 7 месяцев назад +22

    ….as an artist myself, I find using using four paws, at the same time, gives me the depth required…(it’s all in the application).

  • @krusher181
    @krusher181 7 месяцев назад +9

    Some of them clearly just wanted it more. They competed harder for the full 90 years of their life, creating a tough environment for the up and coming lads.

  • @londonalicante
    @londonalicante 7 месяцев назад +7

    What next: football style commentary of ballet or opera?

  • @zorglubmagnus455
    @zorglubmagnus455 7 месяцев назад +4

    Looking forward to the Retrospective ‘Salon d’Automne’ this coming Spring in Coldhaven.

  • @Jamestheblue22
    @Jamestheblue22 7 месяцев назад +9

    This skit is a masterpiece

  • @hg82met
    @hg82met 7 месяцев назад +3

    Saved best for last: "with a recurrence of that niggling injury he's got... syphilis!" 😂

  • @hedgehogenglish
    @hedgehogenglish 7 месяцев назад +4

    Oh my God. This is genius. Please give us more of this. I'm cracking up. 'of the canvas' and 'syphilis' both got me. Hahaha! Thank you 😂

  • @Sliphantom
    @Sliphantom 7 месяцев назад +3

    As an American, this video is vastly different from what I expected it to be upon reading the title.
    Perhaps John Madden as an art critic would make for a good future video.

  • @LeonEvans_Guyver1
    @LeonEvans_Guyver1 3 месяца назад +2

    This Saturday, the irresistible force of Monet meets the immovable object of Manet in an art exhibition some are calling "on this Saturday"

  • @no3namesalike
    @no3namesalike 7 месяцев назад +3

    The absolute cackle that came out of me at "the lad Degas"...

  • @toastonmitchell2636
    @toastonmitchell2636 7 месяцев назад +6

    The delivery was perfect. It, eh, all ended up where it should be, all the pieces were there, really top notch stuff!

  • @michaeljohn1978
    @michaeljohn1978 7 месяцев назад +3

    “It’s a bit of a cliché, but you’ve got to take each painting as it comes, at the end of the day”

  • @EmersonWW
    @EmersonWW 7 месяцев назад +3

    When you come to Spain you've got to be bold, but that performance today from Hieronymus Bosch was absolutely triabolical.

  • @shellyspiano
    @shellyspiano 7 месяцев назад +4

    LOVE the punch line at the end.....🤭🤣🤣

  • @HelenFreeman-fq1ss
    @HelenFreeman-fq1ss 7 месяцев назад +8

    Part 2....Football Pundits talking like art critics? Any chance? 😊

    • @JohnPreston888
      @JohnPreston888 7 месяцев назад +1

      Ah, I already wrote this above:
      "Monty Python's F.C. (Eric Idle and John Cleese, if I remember correctly. Worth a look if you have yet to see it. Comes close.)"

  • @wakingtheworld
    @wakingtheworld 7 месяцев назад +3

    Top delivery Michael and your unexpected last word had me ROFL'ing!

  • @AgelessStones
    @AgelessStones 7 месяцев назад +6

    Top tier stuff man, dunno how you can create such originality out of seemingly nothing

  • @nyccrowe
    @nyccrowe 7 месяцев назад +8

    Andy Warhol popping back in the headlines yet again, parking the soup in the centre of the canvas. Elsewhere today, Mondrain's got his disciplined zoning system spot on as his paintings cut straight through Damien's Hirst's shark, who was completely out of position.

  • @wren8253
    @wren8253 7 месяцев назад +15

    As an art person this is fantastic ahaha

  • @edjohnpowell
    @edjohnpowell 7 месяцев назад +10

    They're a good team on paper, but the game is played on canvas

    • @clarewillison9379
      @clarewillison9379 7 месяцев назад +1

      👏🏼🤣👏🏼

    • @jennywarren3176
      @jennywarren3176 7 месяцев назад +1

      It's clear they're still adjusting to the oil league after gaining promotion from watercolours.

  • @pauladams1915
    @pauladams1915 7 месяцев назад +2

    "The final third....of the canvas". Brilliant 😂

  • @Discount-Stonks
    @Discount-Stonks 7 месяцев назад +2

    Legendary! All that’s missing is use of the phrase “and at the end of the day”

  • @Aritro77
    @Aritro77 7 месяцев назад +5

    Oh this is very fine work, Michael. Bask in the light of the positive appraisals in this comments section. You deserve it,

  • @Septa7Seven
    @Septa7Seven 7 месяцев назад +16

    I have no idea what was just said, but I have strong opinions against it. It's my natural inclination to object in order to sound like I have obscure & interesting opinions that are dissimilar to the common man.

    • @ghengis430
      @ghengis430 7 месяцев назад +1

      I think I actually do that. Oh god!😂

  • @dbass4973
    @dbass4973 7 месяцев назад +57

    visiting an exhibition is literally watching 22 broke people chase a single millionaire

    • @pansepot1490
      @pansepot1490 7 месяцев назад +1

      Truer words…

    • @Demun1649
      @Demun1649 7 месяцев назад

      Is it? EVERY exhibition? We don't get millionaires at our annual exhibition.

    • @JoeJigsy
      @JoeJigsy 7 месяцев назад +1

      ?

  • @ohnezuckerohnefett
    @ohnezuckerohnefett 7 месяцев назад +5

    I'm so happy Surreal Madrid won the Champions League.

  • @S7EVE_P
    @S7EVE_P 2 месяца назад +1

    Michael, I dont know how many takes this took but to do this without a cut is quite impressive - there are some tongue twisters in that script!!

  • @covereye5731
    @covereye5731 7 месяцев назад +4

    Love this. Can Pundit talk be the next Room Next Door series?

  • @elstcman5
    @elstcman5 6 месяцев назад +2

    This is in the very highest tier of short form metamodern media

  • @ursybear3500
    @ursybear3500 7 месяцев назад +3

    Masterful. Loved this ❤

  • @Oldmotherhell
    @Oldmotherhell 7 месяцев назад +1

    Vincent will be getting an earful with that kind of colourful language.

  • @richarddunne9802
    @richarddunne9802 7 месяцев назад +2

    At the end of the day it's a painting of two halves

  • @IvoGatzinski
    @IvoGatzinski 7 месяцев назад +3

    Love it, Michael!! Keep'em coming!

  • @LeventeZone
    @LeventeZone 7 месяцев назад

    The niggling injury... The lad Degas... Lack of composure in the final third of the canvas... He had a little run... It's just perfection, satire of the strength of fluoroantimonic acid.

  • @faizamhabib
    @faizamhabib 7 месяцев назад +4

    Wow 😅 I wonder how many books on impressionism you had to read to write this but you have portrayed my confusion better than I ever could

  • @akizeta
    @akizeta 5 месяцев назад +1

    That Caravaggio, though, he was murder, straight up death on the canvas.

  • @razorknight92
    @razorknight92 7 месяцев назад +2

    Art critics would be fun to listen to if they talked like this.

  • @silviamm8161
    @silviamm8161 7 месяцев назад +1

    The scarf is so on point, lol!

  • @zoekm
    @zoekm 7 месяцев назад +1

    jumpers for museum attendants

    • @peterrenn6341
      @peterrenn6341 7 месяцев назад +1

      Isn't it? Aren't they? mmmmm... Marvellous!

  • @faceit9331
    @faceit9331 7 месяцев назад

    I look forward to your new stuff Michael, it always so well done 👏👏👏

  • @johncycling6299
    @johncycling6299 7 месяцев назад +1

    Worth it for the last line.

  • @TheSpudHunter
    @TheSpudHunter 7 месяцев назад +3

    Jackson Pollock was all over the place

  • @georgewhite1972
    @georgewhite1972 7 месяцев назад +2

    This Cezanne the lads have been playing a load of Pollocks!!

  • @TheThejpmshow
    @TheThejpmshow 7 месяцев назад

    ‘The final third.. of the canvas’
    Brilliant 😁

  • @justagame101
    @justagame101 7 месяцев назад +1

    He lacked composure in the final third... of the canvas 😂

  • @Magicalfluidprocess
    @Magicalfluidprocess 6 месяцев назад +2

    Both disciplines from a verbal point of view are just rhetoric, which is why this is in itself a beautiful price of art , bravo , man of the match 😂

  • @spectre1012001
    @spectre1012001 6 месяцев назад

    This is genius - love your stuff!

  • @nalodailec
    @nalodailec 7 месяцев назад +2

    Oh,that was just beautiful. Thank you so much. 😂❤

  • @user-yj7gh1xk8y
    @user-yj7gh1xk8y 5 месяцев назад

    Entertaining piece. Your knowledge of art is admirable too!

  • @Google_Does_Evil_Now
    @Google_Does_Evil_Now 7 месяцев назад +1

    Creating so much high quality.

  • @juliewake4585
    @juliewake4585 7 месяцев назад

    We love you Michael!

  • @gailashby8960
    @gailashby8960 7 месяцев назад +3

    😂😂😂😂 I always love your comedy ❤

  • @Prikki2k
    @Prikki2k 7 месяцев назад +4

    Classic, I can't stop laughing.

  • @Wiggins773
    @Wiggins773 Месяц назад

    you had me at pockets of light LMFAO

  • @tinarichardson364
    @tinarichardson364 5 месяцев назад

    Excellent, Michael. The punchline was superb! 😂

  • @sulalee7413
    @sulalee7413 7 месяцев назад +1

    As they say, "the boy done good...." 😆👍

  • @warmpondwater1610
    @warmpondwater1610 7 месяцев назад +1

    If Radio 3 and 4, sounded like that. Alot more people would tune in. The fishing weather report read like the football scores.

    • @ghengis430
      @ghengis430 7 месяцев назад

      Today in Parliament would be great.

  • @sitrep123able
    @sitrep123able 7 месяцев назад +1

    oh how i wish to meet you and shake your hand Mr. Spicer, u are a national treasure.

  • @geronimo8159
    @geronimo8159 6 месяцев назад +1

    People said Duchamp was a dirty player but he actually really advanced the game significantly, in a way the refs just weren't ready for at the time.

  • @tal-lancer
    @tal-lancer 7 месяцев назад +2

    I don't know why Manchester United spent so many millions on Jackson Pollack.
    Every time he's called on to produce something he's all over the place.

  • @fToo
    @fToo 7 месяцев назад

    great closing shot

  • @seb612schuth
    @seb612schuth 7 месяцев назад +10

    But Michael, the presentation is one of those international events, of European stature, and they had to give everything. What this means is that when they return to their local leagues they will show less art. Surely they are going to be locked up for two winters, who knows doing what exercises, to show up at the municipal museum with a bunch of "unfinished" works and making us feel like we lost the ticket. It is a lack of professionalism and investment by advertisers and patrons.

  • @ambogodson2925
    @ambogodson2925 7 месяцев назад

    Literally chocked at that last bit 😂😂

  • @1980alsful
    @1980alsful 7 месяцев назад

    This is incredible ❤

  • @realscottsummers
    @realscottsummers 7 месяцев назад +2

    Now I want to watch football with Art Critic commentary instead!

  • @mikfhan
    @mikfhan 6 месяцев назад

    "Did ye see that ludicrous ART display last noight?"

  • @banditalley9592
    @banditalley9592 7 месяцев назад

    "Pockets of light"!!! Brilliant!