No. Don't do that. You dodged one bullet, why put yourself back in the line of fire with someone who will almost certainly be worse. It's the universe's way of saying "don't do it, dummy."
It’s not sunk-cost. It’s delusion. He genuinely thinks this woman is for him, probably got a lot of people telling him she isn’t, and isn’t willing to see that.
@@michaelpowers6551 As I understand the story, she declined because the timing wasn't right, the mood wasn't right, the location wasn't right, etc., etc.--in essence, it wasn't the proposal scenario that SHE dreamed of. Again--he proposed, she said no, that should be the end of the relationship. Move on, brother.
She's a narcissist that wants the attention, and will always be that way. Best move on and...to be honest, take a year or so just to heal and get your mind right.
@@Jaeger_Bishop I beg to differ, I think it should go with saying, I think some people still underestimate how horrible people can be in the world, much in the same way I believe there are plenty of people who underestimate how good people can be in the world as well.
"Proposing" is literally just asking your significant other if they want to marry you. There is NO right or wrong way to do it. And the answer isn't about how well you "performed", but whether they want to be with you or not. If the answer is no, you walk away.
I think there absolutely needs to be a run up to the proposal. Anyone I know has asked knowing that they'll get a yes. Marriage has been discussed beforehand along with life plans and then a romantic proposal can happen.
@@caleballen1330 Do people actually do surprise proposals? I thought that was only in the movies. I certainly didn't make it a surprise. We had discussions about readiness for marriage months before I proposed, and I shopped with her to find her preferred engagement ring. It wasn't really a surprise when I proposed.
I think it was more about her keeping her options open for the next potentially better thing, thus the dog bit. Sure she could take this dog but the next dog could be her dream dog! But we will keep walking dogs until it seems as though I have no other options then take what I have left. He is the dog that's left as he is her safety if nothing better comes along for her to commit to rather than him and I bet her friend was also reinforcing this awful idea.
Agreed. The only reason to outright reject a proposal is if you can't see a future with that person. If you can see a future there but simply aren't ready yet, well that's what the engagement period is for, and it can be as long as you want.
I like how he keeps saying "compromise". It's not a compromise if she gets everything she wants and you get nothing you want. That's just called losing.
@@shadowlotus6189 not so much because if that were the case, she'd need to be putting him down or otherwise making him suffer for his efforts, not just stringing him along only to pull away when he does make the effort.
For you Peanuts fans out there, there is a comic where Charlie Brown is getting ready to kick the football, and then Lucy's mother calls her into the house. Lucy has her little brother hold the ball for her. In the last panel he comes back into the house. Lucy asks him if he let Charlie Brown kick the ball away, or if he pulled it away. "I'll never tell."
It's amazing how often I have to remind myself that "everyone's different". I had a co-worker who'd been dating this one woman for 15 years. I'm like . . . I can't believe it. They got married 2 or 3 years after I left the company . . .
@@QED_ My cousin dated his then-girlfriend for about 10 years before they got married. People are weird. And yes, they are still together, I wanna say 15 years later. EDIT: it's actually 20ish years later.
@@markuswegmann7958 Technically, the government merely recognized (aka granted legal status) to an existing religious custom. It was already a socially agreed up contract of sorts with understood expectations and responses to failing to meet them.
It wouldn't surprise me if she has already got a replacement all lined up ready to replace him. I hope there is no children born during this relationship.
There's a song by "Weird Al" Yankovic named "Good Enough for Now." The entire point of the song is summed up by these lines: "You're the woman that I've always dreamed of...no, not really, but you're good enough for now." "And I'm never gonna leave you darlin'...at least 'til something better comes along."
If it's been 8 years and she's turning down any proposal, not just upset with a super lazy attempt and asking you to do more than roll over and ask, "Do you wanna?", she doesn't want to marry you. If getting married is important to you, drop her and find a woman who wants to be your wife.
She's stringing him along (possibly looking for someone "better"). He's a backup plan to her (that's what it's sounding like to me). He needs to get out. She has him figured out, and knows how to manipulate him. It's shameful and saddening.
Most likely, she just doesn't want the commitment but is dishonest about it. She may even have moved the goalpost thinking one day she would feel ready for marriage. At the very least, she is dishonest and leading him on. She likely will never feel ready to marry him.
Worst part is, when he tells her it's over and he's done, she will suddenly feel like marrying him. When he agrees to stay, she will go back to "I want to marry you, just not right now. Soon though!"
@@crystalsaria5625orrrrr it’s like Joker 2019, and the story was all in his head of an unreliable narrator that’s trolling the audience for his own amusement. That’s more believable than “the bias for the man” angle in a story where the main victim is male.
My poor wife. 😂 I proposed via text message from a bar in Dusseldorf and we got married in a court house in West Virginia. The right person will make any place the right place.❤
I told my husband that we were getting married and he was buying a ring. Later he wanted a redo. So he sat me down in his chair got this his knees, gosh he was emotional and couldn't get the words out right. So I said yes. And again. And again. Thinking of it still makes me emotional and happy.
My now husband proposed while we were eating bread and coca cola sitting on the store sidewalk. We were sweaty, stinky, sore, cause we just left the construction site (we both were in between jobs at that moment in life). He pulls this stainless steel ring, looked me in the eyes and asked. Almost 8 years and counting. The proposal and the weeding are not the goals. A lifetime with that special someone is. (I said something along the lines of "for sure, bro, bring it" xD jaja, his smile was EVERYTHING)
That reminds me of the song "Don't Expect Me to Be Your Friend" by Lobo (which should be called "The Friend-zoned National Anthem"). It's about a guy who is facing the fact that he's in the Friend Zone (evidenced by her bringing over her lovers to meet him). The chorus of the song is: "I love you too much to ever start liking you. So let's just let the story have an end. I love you too much to ever start liking you. So don't expect of me to be your friend."
All during this story the mental image I had in my mind was from the movie "Aliens" when Ripley is monitoring the marines in the hive and as the aliens start to move in on them and tells the lieutenant "GET THEM OUT OF THERE!!!". This guy needs to run not walk away NOW. Nothing good will come from staying in this.
I can see having a long-term non-married relationship, lots of people do that. It’s hard for me to see proposing, if we haven’t at least talked about getting married, and things seem to be moving in that general direction. But if I propose to someone, and she says no, my instinct is that it’s pretty much splitsville after that. She’d have to have an awfully convincing conversation with me after that, for the relationship to continue at all, but even then I have my doubts it could last very long after that. Three times? That’s just ridiculous. Don’t walk, run away from her!
9 years of a relationship and she said "no"! The first time was already romantic enough, for someone who "didn't plan anything", that was quite a smooth plan for a marriage proposal! She'll never say "yes" to him, she just wants him to keep trying because that fulfils her ego! It is as he said "she prioritizes others over _our_ happiness", that "others" being herself without him, it would seem.
if a guy did this to a girl, their would be an online movement to lock him in jail. A judge would claim he wasted her time and demand he pay her money.
From Wikipedia: "The tort of seduction was a civil wrong or tort in common law legal systems, and still exists in some jurisdictions. Originally, it allowed an unmarried woman's father - or other person employing her services - to sue for the loss of these services, when she became pregnant and could no longer perform them.[1] Over time, the tort was altered, so that instead, it would be used by an unmarried woman to sue on the grounds of seduction to obtain damages from her seducer, if her consent to sex was based upon his misrepresentation.[2] Breach of promise was a similar, but not identical, tort that was used frequently in similar situations in the past, but has now been abolished in most jurisdictions."
"Insanity, is doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over and over again. When somebody told me that I thought they were bullshitting me so *boom* I shot em'. Funny thing is... he was right. Because everywhere I look I see all these fucking pricks doing the exact same fucking thing over and over and over and over again, no-no-no-no-no-please, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME. Do you think I am lying?" Vaas Montenegro- 2012
What most people don't undertand about proposals, is that you have to have a talk with your significant other before any proposal. Figure out where you two stand, what you want in the future and if marriage is something you both want or not, then you can figure out if its a good idea or not. Also get to know each other well.
Ain't nobody worth a decade of trying to get someone to say yes. If they say no without a good reason then just be done mate. If there was a good reason like "we can't afford to be married" or "this isn't a good time in my life rn" like I get that. But "it wasn't good enough" is just stupid.
Marriage should have next to zero effect on your finacials. Things don't magically cost more because of wedding vows. The only excuse in my mind is that you're afraid of losing some sort of social benefit that'd you no longer qualify for due to income thresholds like medicare/caid.
Even if it "wasn't a good time in her life" to get married, getting engaged doesn't mean you have to run down to the courthouse and take your vows the same day.
3 times...? It's a gift to get ONE try. Expecting ANY let alone more is a slap in the face to those who get zero. If you reward such entitlement by trying again, you're justifying the despicable behaviour.
I've heard your story and take this from a guy who has given up dating because I've been cheated on 4 out of the 5 relationships I've ever been in. I would put a good amount of money down that she's cheating on you. 1 ) You proposed and she turned you down. The obvious issue here. You've been together for over 5 years and she tells you she needs more time? If she were a man, that's more understandable. Men get screwed in the divorce, she's not. How much time does she need? Here's the reality, she's either cheating or doesn't want to get married. Either way, you need to break off the engagement and walk away. It is obvious at this point that she has more love for other people than for you. She's 29, she's just about at the big 30 and she's not interested in marrying you. Also, she "Isn't" ready? Ready for what? She can break out of a marriage anytime she wants and divorce hurts you more than it hurts her. There's no kids involved. 2 ) She doesn't see you as the leader and you want to be more her friend than her partner. It seriously took 6 years to meet the parents? You let her take the reigns and broke your other proposal dates too. Infact, you're letting her break your current proposal date because she's more interested in hanging out with other friends THAN you. Why would she date you? She doesn't even respect you enough to tell you she's not interested in you as a marriage partner and keeps stringing you along. Not only that, you're giving off bullshit excuses. This is your future wife, why the F are you giving excuses for her to screw YOU over? You stated this is a "Date day" but she'd rather be with her roommates than you? And you're not checking her? The relatonship is over, she's only around for whatever resources you bring to the table at this point.Not only that, you said you'd ask her in one year and you didn't even keep that promise. Bro...she knew she was going to get asked again and you flaked. Why would any woman respect a guy who fumbles this hard or caves to her demands this bad. 3 ) You are more into this relationship than she is. I am seeing a lot of effort on your part, where the hell is her effort? Not only is she not putting effort in, she's actually sabotaging the relationship. She said no to a proposal 5+ years in. She's wanting to spend time with other people than have a date with you. You are planning all these events for dates and I'm not hearing any plans from her. I didn't hear a single thing about sex in this 8 minute monologue. What in the actual fuck are you doing dude? Women are keys to the bedroom but men are keys to the relationshiip and the only person trying to keep this relationship alive is you. It's time to realize it's over and to cut your losses now. Nearly a decade together and you still don't realize she's stringing you along...Kindest woman you've ever met...you're head is so high in the clouds you don't even see how massive the red flags are... This is what you need to do. You need to break up with her. It's clear she doesn't respect you in this relationship. It's clear she is stringing you along. Hell, I'm willing to bet money she's cheating on you. You're telling me she's been with you her entire 20s, doesn't want to commit 6 years in, doesn't want to commit just before turning 30, and she's been faithful to you this entire time? Unless this girl is from some asian country that values purity and relationships, you are absolutely delusional and out of your damn mind. It is time to face facts, it's over. You've wasted nearly a decade of your life on this woman and she will NEVER be ready. You are layaway. She is waiting for the rich successful 6 foot 6 pack 600k dude to sweep her off her feet and that is DEFINITELY not you. If her delusions don't happen, she's settling with you. Walk away dude, you are not her first choice, don't be the guy that decides to be the girl she settles with. I mean, dude. Look at all this shit you're doing. Kayaking, picnics, beaches, etc. Look at all this effort. Don't you want a woman worthy of that effort? A woman that says yes when you propose because she actually loves you? A woman who would not only clear her schedule but be actively happy to go on a date with you instead of hanging out with some college roommates? This woman is bullshit. Never EVER love a woman enough that you are afraid to walk away from the relationship.
The sick part. When he dumps her, she will then say - "but I was going to say yes and was waiting for you to ask now." That will get her another 5 yrs before the divorce.
If it's coming from the one who initially rejected it, it's basically similar to a "please take me back" situation (like what happens when they're caught cheating). Don't trust it, once it's over, it's over, no mulligans.
Yep pretty much. At that point he is the temporary beta orbiter until something better comes around - so he has already lost - he just doesn't realise that.
This chicken is stringing him along because she doesn't think he's "Mr. Right" - he's merely "Mr. Good Enough For Now", and she's just waiting on her 6-6-6 to show up.
I wonder how he was able to put up with her for so long and convince himself that she was wife material for him. She doesn't even make him her priority, but her friends/acquaintances. If she can't even muster the minimum of loyalty for him, who knows if she can be or ever has been faithful to him.
That's when you say: "Sure. We're through. I'll try with someone who will appreciate me." And walk the fuck away, never looking back. That woman is entitled and crazy. Dodge that bullet, bro.
One rejection and it's "Bye Felicia" She doesn't want you, she just wants the attention and money thrown at her. She hasn't cared about hurting and humiliating you. Why would you try again and again?
if her reason is "i'm not ready" every single time, she'll never be ready. especially after she laughed at him for wanting to discuss it. she's stringing OP along for her own enjoyment. real scummy of her, OP should leave.
She clearly doesn’t wanna get married because of her parents marriage but refuses to let him down and just tell him so instead she’s manipulating him along. She’ll never say yes and will waste years of his life. She’s selfish and a poor communicator. He needs to leave her and find someone who actually cares about him and knows how to communicate.
I got married when I was 19. We've been married for 21 years now. And in those 21 years, if there's one thing that I learned, it's this... I'll never get married again. Ever.
@@alexanderavila4662 I guess that depends on your perspective, but I'll put it to you like this: I will never again allow loving someone else to take priority over my own mental health, well-being, and happiness.
Too bad for you. My wife and I have been together for over 50 years and it is the best thing we've ever done. I'd do it over 100 times if given the chance!
Bro dodged a bullet there for sure. He managed to get a girl he loves to stay with him, and largely fulfill the role of a wife, but totally skipped the part where they enter in to a legally binding contract that entitles her to half of all his worldly assets if she bails on the relationship. Well done my man.
I think there *are* "bad proposals" where a "no", with good reasons is fully valid: after a traumatic event, on a whim, and so on... These aren't such situations. And the couple isn't a good match, despite what he's telling himself: Don't agree on weddings, don't like each other's friends, some passive agressive behaviour towards each other. Feels like the guy is so happy to have found someone that he's blind to her bad sides and the realization that there's so much better alternatives.
I'll be mega blunt, rejecting a proposal is grounds for breaking up, literal conflict of interests, the "Not yet" excuse works once, that man needs to move on and get someone else.
Jesus Christ! A proposal, or even a wedding set for during and under a total solar eclipse??? NO-ONE couldn't even hope to get a bigger moment than that! It's like a 'Heaven and Earth being 'In tune' with your love and devotion to each other on that momentous occasion'... 😎🇬🇧
I was (brutally) rejected once. When you reject a man's proposal, especially if you reject it harshly or imply that he's somehow not good enough to marry, you change not only the dynamic of your relationship with him, but you have also likely changed the dynamic of his relationships with any women for years to come, maybe even for life.
She even suggested the big proposal event, then tried to get out of it by going to a friend's party. That wasn't a coincidence. She ain't the one, and it's time for him to move on before he gets used even more.
@@gamera5160 No if she refuses, you walk. The "not being ready" garbage means there's someone else or she's not that into you. If it's been nine years like this relationship in this video, nah, she says no, I walk.
@@zeddwulfen7737 Nah. In this video: no way. No way anyone should stay after that. However, if you’ve been together a year, sometimes an “I’m not sure” or “I’m not ready” is fine.
@gamera5160 I get what you're saying but I got to disagree man. If she loves you she breaks the rules for you. When a woman starts making rules for you.That means she's settling for you.Women break the rules for the men they love women set rules for the men they settle for. Same thing for unsure. If she has to think about it, Or she's uncertain about you. Trust me , she's going to be uncertain about you later in life too. It means she's thinking about better offers. Move on that girl gonna cheat eventually if she hasn't already. Drizzle drizzle king XD
I mean , long engagements are a thing. As long as you can see a future with the person, i don't see a reason not to accept. You can be engaged for as long as you want.
If she wanted a particular type of proposal, she should have told him after the first time. But I'm also putting some fault on him for continuing to be a doormat,
My now husband proposed twice. The first time he asked, I squealed, "Yes!", hugged him, then realized that he seemed to be asking for future reference. "So, are we engaged now or were you just double checking that we're on the same page?" He chuckled, got off the couch and onto one knee, and asked again. We've been married for eight years now. He just recently confirmed that he had in fact been asking me for future reference, but seeing my reaction made him realize there was no reason to wait any longer and actually proposed.
Saying no once I can get, at least if it was at an awkward time or place. Saying no two or three times, and each time making up excuses saying in so and so many years they're ready, yet expecting them to still stay with you? No, you've lost me.
Walk away. Quietly or openly, just walk away. There's someone out there that won't play with your heart like it's a tabletop RPG. Respect her decision, however quiet, to reject your proposal, and find someone who truly appreciates you.
This is why it’s so important to have the talk about ”the big things” with your partner really early on: 1. Kids 2. Marriage 3. Life goals and values. If you don’t agree on at least 1. and 2., go find someone who does. If she is the ”marrying type”, one proposal should be it, maybe two if there are really good reasons not to say yes the first time.
So they'd already been dating for _six years_ before he proposed to her the first time? And after _six years_ of dating, she "wasn't ready yet"? At that point it was already obvious that she was never going to say yes; if getting married is important to him, he should have walked away then. That being said... They do sound like they're perfect for one another: she's selfish and manipulative, and he has zero self-respect. And since neither of them will ever be able to be part of a healthy relationship anyway, they might as well stick together and keep each other out of the dating market.
Debatable. My husband and I dated for 7 years, lived together etc because we weren't financially ready to get married. We honestly didn't start talking about marriage until yr 5 or so. We had a plan in place to marry, then buy a house, etc. We wanted those things in place.
ask her in front of the friends. when she says no, leave right away and go home and pack her stuff in matching trash bags and have it on the curb for when she gets a ride back to your place.
Definitely feels like he's Mr Right-enough-for-now. She's getting all the benefits of a spouse while keeping her options open with a free & clear walk away plan. 🙄
That's literally insane. It reminds me of "Significant Other" where she asks the alien to re-propose, just to push him off the cliff. He eventually dumped her, right? God I hope so.
My late wife would get angry at me for doing things "wrong" and demand I apologize (not always in words but definitely in deed by the way she was acting), then would refuse to accept the apology until I got it "right" or until she thought I "meant" it (which by then I no longer did). This is manipulative behavior. If that sort of manipulative behavior has started at the proposal stage, RUN. You have a rare opportunity to dodge a bullet.
Hell no. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Dude wasted a decade of his life.
I agree this woman is just dragging him along. She doesn't want to marry him
@@RebeccaLunsford-qe2kt She wants the husband benefits without the commitment, responsibility, or accountability.
This guy makes me feel better about wasting 4 years of my life with someone
Hey, if he's happy having her as a girlfriend, then what was wasted?
@@RebeccaLunsford-qe2kt she wants to keep her " plan B" around ,she still beleive she can do better.
Declining a proposal is the end of the relationship, full stop.
There's a couple of possible exceptions there but I'd agree generally.
Haha. Greetings, my UK cousin!
@@The1stImmortal well the balls out now.... name them!
@@The1stImmortal after 6-8 years, there is no reason.
@@fs9553 Sometimes you aren't ready yet.
But that can be solved by postponing the wedding, not the proposal.
I’d try again, with someone else.
Came here just to say this, lol. I'd definitely try again, with someone else.
that, is the correct answer
No. Don't do that. You dodged one bullet, why put yourself back in the line of fire with someone who will almost certainly be worse. It's the universe's way of saying "don't do it, dummy."
@@tetedur377 You'll meet someone nice n.n hopefully soon
@tetedur377 thats pretty pessimistic, even for me.
This story is PRECISELY why a relationship usually ends if a proposal is rejected. People usually won't put themselves through something like this.
It’s not sunk-cost. It’s delusion. He genuinely thinks this woman is for him, probably got a lot of people telling him she isn’t, and isn’t willing to see that.
My thoughts exactly, I would've slapped him back to reality
He proposed, and she said "No"--THREE TIMES! Dude, she does NOT want to marry you. End the relationship and MOVE ON!
That sums it up.
I don’t understand how this isn’t talked about long before you propose. Men should know if their woman wants to marry them or not.
@@michaelpowers6551 As I understand the story, she declined because the timing wasn't right, the mood wasn't right, the location wasn't right, etc., etc.--in essence, it wasn't the proposal scenario that SHE dreamed of. Again--he proposed, she said no, that should be the end of the relationship. Move on, brother.
Probably also doesn't want any children to start a family. He is wasting his time if that's his end goal to start a family with children and whatnot.
@@michaelpowers6551 Indeed and if they want children. They should talk about this around 2 years about what their end goals are and whatnot.
She's a narcissist that wants the attention, and will always be that way. Best move on and...to be honest, take a year or so just to heal and get your mind right.
Worse than that, she's probably looking around for better offers
@@HeavyMetalisLaw I mean, that part goes without saying.
@@Jaeger_Bishop I beg to differ, I think it should go with saying, I think some people still underestimate how horrible people can be in the world, much in the same way I believe there are plenty of people who underestimate how good people can be in the world as well.
@@j.m.9047 Fair assessment friendo.
Probably not the only one being strung along
"Proposing" is literally just asking your significant other if they want to marry you. There is NO right or wrong way to do it. And the answer isn't about how well you "performed", but whether they want to be with you or not. If the answer is no, you walk away.
I see you haven't met "modern women". /jk
I think there absolutely needs to be a run up to the proposal. Anyone I know has asked knowing that they'll get a yes. Marriage has been discussed beforehand along with life plans and then a romantic proposal can happen.
@@caleballen1330 Do people actually do surprise proposals? I thought that was only in the movies. I certainly didn't make it a surprise. We had discussions about readiness for marriage months before I proposed, and I shopped with her to find her preferred engagement ring. It wasn't really a surprise when I proposed.
I think it was more about her keeping her options open for the next potentially better thing, thus the dog bit. Sure she could take this dog but the next dog could be her dream dog! But we will keep walking dogs until it seems as though I have no other options then take what I have left. He is the dog that's left as he is her safety if nothing better comes along for her to commit to rather than him and I bet her friend was also reinforcing this awful idea.
@@thehat4244 You don't propose to those. You have fun and move on. I don't personally believe in a dead end relationship.
A relationship is to fall in love and try for forever. Once the proposal is rejected, I am rejected. The relationship has expired
Agreed. The only reason to outright reject a proposal is if you can't see a future with that person. If you can see a future there but simply aren't ready yet, well that's what the engagement period is for, and it can be as long as you want.
1. Proposal
2. Simp shame ritual
3. Simp shame ritual
4. Possible Simp shame ritual
I like how he keeps saying "compromise". It's not a compromise if she gets everything she wants and you get nothing you want. That's just called losing.
Exactly
Furthermore a relationship shouldn't feel like 'winning' or 'losing'. Just toxic all around.
Best comment, absolutely agreed.
The poor guy thinks he's being unreasonable if he doesn't give into her every demand.
guy sounds like charlie brown always trying to kick the football while lucy holds it.
This Lucy just clobbers him with that football instead, straight up
I love the Family Guy bit where Peter roundhouse kicks Lucy after doing that to Charlie Brown. ROADHOUSE!😂
@@shadowlotus6189 not so much because if that were the case, she'd need to be putting him down or otherwise making him suffer for his efforts, not just stringing him along only to pull away when he does make the effort.
@bhart3321 greatest moment in animated TV of well deserved and long overdue justice being served up cold vwith extreme prejudice.
For you Peanuts fans out there, there is a comic where Charlie Brown is getting ready to kick the football, and then Lucy's mother calls her into the house. Lucy has her little brother hold the ball for her.
In the last panel he comes back into the house. Lucy asks him if he let Charlie Brown kick the ball away, or if he pulled it away.
"I'll never tell."
8 years into the relationship and she's not thinking marriage? Unless she's ruling marriage out entirely, there's something seriously amiss.
It's amazing how often I have to remind myself that "everyone's different". I had a co-worker who'd been dating this one woman for 15 years. I'm like . . . I can't believe it. They got married 2 or 3 years after I left the company . . .
@@QED_ My cousin dated his then-girlfriend for about 10 years before they got married. People are weird. And yes, they are still together, I wanna say 15 years later. EDIT: it's actually 20ish years later.
marriage = a contract controlled by the government, marriage = the promise to be together forever .............
Well I would never get married or ask anyone now adays anyway.
@@markuswegmann7958 Technically, the government merely recognized (aka granted legal status) to an existing religious custom.
It was already a socially agreed up contract of sorts with understood expectations and responses to failing to meet them.
I’d be shocked to find out she wasn’t cheating on him the whole time.
100000% she wanted his security but wanted to not feel “locked down” to keep her options open without feeling like the bad person
I got hit with the "try again" once asking someone out, and that was it... I did not try again. There's no shortage of fish in the sea.
There’s a huge shortage of fish. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t through back the bad ones.
Dump this woman & move on. You're being used.
It wouldn't surprise me if she has already got a replacement all lined up ready to replace him.
I hope there is no children born during this relationship.
Especially if you're living together.
@@davidransom4476 cohabitation is one of the dumbest things anyone can do before marraige.
She's holding out for a better offer. Dude is the backup security blanket. That woman is selfish garbage.
@@Xander1Sheridan not really, you can see a lot of red flags while living together. Been there done that.
Sounds like she's hoping a 'better offer' will come along ....
Yeah, sounds like it
Absolutely
Yup, he's Mr. Backup Plan.
There's a song by "Weird Al" Yankovic named "Good Enough for Now." The entire point of the song is summed up by these lines:
"You're the woman that I've always dreamed of...no, not really, but you're good enough for now."
"And I'm never gonna leave you darlin'...at least 'til something better comes along."
That is exactly what I was thinking. She is waiting for the next guy to pop up so she doesn't have to be alone
If it's been 8 years and she's turning down any proposal, not just upset with a super lazy attempt and asking you to do more than roll over and ask, "Do you wanna?", she doesn't want to marry you. If getting married is important to you, drop her and find a woman who wants to be your wife.
Never let a person tell you they arent interested in you twice.
"I'm almost ready...". After nine years. So, another nine years?
She's stringing him along (possibly looking for someone "better"). He's a backup plan to her (that's what it's sounding like to me). He needs to get out. She has him figured out, and knows how to manipulate him. It's shameful and saddening.
Most likely, she just doesn't want the commitment but is dishonest about it. She may even have moved the goalpost thinking one day she would feel ready for marriage. At the very least, she is dishonest and leading him on. She likely will never feel ready to marry him.
Nice pfp.
Worst part is, when he tells her it's over and he's done, she will suddenly feel like marrying him. When he agrees to stay, she will go back to "I want to marry you, just not right now. Soon though!"
If it was flipped, EVERYONE would say he is leading her on and is NEVER going to propose and is PROBABLY cheating.
That's definitely not an "if it was flipped" interpretation. This guy is objectively committed with all his being. Her saying no is devilish.
@@Deicidius1orrrr maybe they are something’s in the relationship we don’t know about this bias for the man bothers me in this day and age
@@crystalsaria5625orrrrr it’s like Joker 2019, and the story was all in his head of an unreliable narrator that’s trolling the audience for his own amusement. That’s more believable than “the bias for the man” angle in a story where the main victim is male.
@@aztn19 he isn’t a victim just cause a girl doesn’t wanna marry him
@@crystalsaria5625 why? If women can feel like victims whenever their hearts are broken, why is it not the same feeling for broken-hearted men.
My poor wife. 😂
I proposed via text message from a bar in Dusseldorf and we got married in a court house in West Virginia. The right person will make any place the right place.❤
We got engaged was a long distance one over the phone and the engagement was originally a fake one between high schoolers to stop S harassment.
@@LegendStormcrow guy who got rejected 3 times should tell her to propose to him. then turn her down and break up
Then make sure she know u appreciate her. And don’t make jokes on the proposal or wedding. That’s what you gave her as a memory don’t crap on it.
If you don't already, might wanna screenshot, print, and frame/album that text haha
I told my husband that we were getting married and he was buying a ring.
Later he wanted a redo. So he sat me down in his chair got this his knees, gosh he was emotional and couldn't get the words out right. So I said yes. And again. And again.
Thinking of it still makes me emotional and happy.
He'll never be the one. Chances are, he's probably not the only one.
No means no. It doesn't mean "yes," it doesn't mean "maybe," and it doesn't mean "later." It means "no."
dude... just leave. Just leave.
this guy is such a loser
If the proposal is more important than the relationship..that's a massive red flag
in my opinion, more of a Black flag. Not just a Massive Red Flag.
Sounds like she wants a way out...
You are describing a spoiled child.
“Do it my way. Or else.” Is not how adults act.
It's how women act
its how the government economy and the BS of capitalism and having a boss at work is. this world is completely corrupted beyond saving
@@diogenes8272 Some women... un-marryable women.
My now husband proposed while we were eating bread and coca cola sitting on the store sidewalk. We were sweaty, stinky, sore, cause we just left the construction site (we both were in between jobs at that moment in life). He pulls this stainless steel ring, looked me in the eyes and asked. Almost 8 years and counting. The proposal and the weeding are not the goals. A lifetime with that special someone is. (I said something along the lines of "for sure, bro, bring it" xD jaja, his smile was EVERYTHING)
8 years together and she won't say yes just move on she's just stringing you along
Her prioritizing every one else over him should have been his sign that she's just not that into him.
there is no larger red flag.
Yes that was a big giveaway that he was only an option. The Nice Guy option.
Well, yeah, but you must have enough IQ to realize that
@@Draven84 Specifically, the "gullible, nice guy, simp who I will use and abuse until I tire of him" option.
Let’s say it together everyone, “SHES FOR THE STREETS!”
"SHES FOR THE STREETS"
That what you said
Obviously she has a roaster.
Came here for this comment.
Shes for the woods
She would get married in a heartbeat but not with him, he was NEEEEEVER the guy!🤦🏿♂️
Exactly
she is probably sleeping with every single guy she can.
That reminds me of the song "Don't Expect Me to Be Your Friend" by Lobo (which should be called "The Friend-zoned National Anthem"). It's about a guy who is facing the fact that he's in the Friend Zone (evidenced by her bringing over her lovers to meet him). The chorus of the song is:
"I love you too much to ever start liking you. So let's just let the story have an end. I love you too much to ever start liking you. So don't expect of me to be your friend."
All during this story the mental image I had in my mind was from the movie "Aliens" when Ripley is monitoring the marines in the hive and as the aliens start to move in on them and tells the lieutenant "GET THEM OUT OF THERE!!!". This guy needs to run not walk away NOW. Nothing good will come from staying in this.
I can see having a long-term non-married relationship, lots of people do that.
It’s hard for me to see proposing, if we haven’t at least talked about getting married, and things seem to be moving in that general direction.
But if I propose to someone, and she says no, my instinct is that it’s pretty much splitsville after that. She’d have to have an awfully convincing conversation with me after that, for the relationship to continue at all, but even then I have my doubts it could last very long after that.
Three times? That’s just ridiculous. Don’t walk, run away from her!
9 years of a relationship and she said "no"!
The first time was already romantic enough, for someone who "didn't plan anything", that was quite a smooth plan for a marriage proposal!
She'll never say "yes" to him, she just wants him to keep trying because that fulfils her ego!
It is as he said "she prioritizes others over _our_ happiness", that "others" being herself without him, it would seem.
if a guy did this to a girl, their would be an online movement to lock him in jail. A judge would claim he wasted her time and demand he pay her money.
It was a tort named "Seduction" where a woman (or her family or employer) could sue for damages and may still be on the books some places.
@@jakeaurod *HUH*
From Wikipedia:
"The tort of seduction was a civil wrong or tort in common law legal systems, and still exists in some jurisdictions.
Originally, it allowed an unmarried woman's father - or other person employing her services - to sue for the loss of these services, when she became pregnant and could no longer perform them.[1] Over time, the tort was altered, so that instead, it would be used by an unmarried woman to sue on the grounds of seduction to obtain damages from her seducer, if her consent to sex was based upon his misrepresentation.[2]
Breach of promise was a similar, but not identical, tort that was used frequently in similar situations in the past, but has now been abolished in most jurisdictions."
@@Fact-fiend_1000ASMR.Just wait. California will bring it back if they haven't already.
Do you know the definition of insanity?
- Vaas Montenegro, Far Cry 3
fabulous scene in the game. "did i ever tell you, the definition of.... insanity?"
@eldenlion5850 11/10 game. definitely GOTY2012 for me
"Insanity, is doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over and over again. When somebody told me that I thought they were bullshitting me so *boom* I shot em'. Funny thing is... he was right. Because everywhere I look I see all these fucking pricks doing the exact same fucking thing over and over and over and over again, no-no-no-no-no-please, I DON'T LIKE THE WAY YOU ARE LOOKING AT ME. Do you think I am lying?"
Vaas Montenegro- 2012
Using the definition of "practice" for the definition of "insanity" over and over again.
💯, this quote goes so hard with this situation
What most people don't undertand about proposals, is that you have to have a talk with your significant other before any proposal. Figure out where you two stand, what you want in the future and if marriage is something you both want or not, then you can figure out if its a good idea or not. Also get to know each other well.
You get ONE proposal, just like you GET ONE marriage
Nope, bye! She gotta GO.
Bye Felicia.
Don't let the door hit you on the way out! 👋🏻
Ain't nobody worth a decade of trying to get someone to say yes. If they say no without a good reason then just be done mate. If there was a good reason like "we can't afford to be married" or "this isn't a good time in my life rn" like I get that. But "it wasn't good enough" is just stupid.
If it's not a good time in her life then it's time for you to move on.
Beware of any girl that sets rules or artificial boundaries on your relationship. just means she's not that into you
Marriage should have next to zero effect on your finacials. Things don't magically cost more because of wedding vows.
The only excuse in my mind is that you're afraid of losing some sort of social benefit that'd you no longer qualify for due to income thresholds like medicare/caid.
Even if it "wasn't a good time in her life" to get married, getting engaged doesn't mean you have to run down to the courthouse and take your vows the same day.
@@Philistine47 Is this a shut up acceptance, the opposite of a shut up ring?
3 times...?
It's a gift to get ONE try. Expecting ANY let alone more is a slap in the face to those who get zero. If you reward such entitlement by trying again, you're justifying the despicable behaviour.
I've heard your story and take this from a guy who has given up dating because I've been cheated on 4 out of the 5 relationships I've ever been in. I would put a good amount of money down that she's cheating on you.
1 ) You proposed and she turned you down.
The obvious issue here. You've been together for over 5 years and she tells you she needs more time? If she were a man, that's more understandable. Men get screwed in the divorce, she's not. How much time does she need? Here's the reality, she's either cheating or doesn't want to get married. Either way, you need to break off the engagement and walk away. It is obvious at this point that she has more love for other people than for you. She's 29, she's just about at the big 30 and she's not interested in marrying you. Also, she "Isn't" ready? Ready for what? She can break out of a marriage anytime she wants and divorce hurts you more than it hurts her. There's no kids involved.
2 ) She doesn't see you as the leader and you want to be more her friend than her partner.
It seriously took 6 years to meet the parents? You let her take the reigns and broke your other proposal dates too. Infact, you're letting her break your current proposal date because she's more interested in hanging out with other friends THAN you. Why would she date you? She doesn't even respect you enough to tell you she's not interested in you as a marriage partner and keeps stringing you along. Not only that, you're giving off bullshit excuses. This is your future wife, why the F are you giving excuses for her to screw YOU over? You stated this is a "Date day" but she'd rather be with her roommates than you? And you're not checking her? The relatonship is over, she's only around for whatever resources you bring to the table at this point.Not only that, you said you'd ask her in one year and you didn't even keep that promise. Bro...she knew she was going to get asked again and you flaked. Why would any woman respect a guy who fumbles this hard or caves to her demands this bad.
3 ) You are more into this relationship than she is.
I am seeing a lot of effort on your part, where the hell is her effort? Not only is she not putting effort in, she's actually sabotaging the relationship. She said no to a proposal 5+ years in. She's wanting to spend time with other people than have a date with you. You are planning all these events for dates and I'm not hearing any plans from her. I didn't hear a single thing about sex in this 8 minute monologue. What in the actual fuck are you doing dude? Women are keys to the bedroom but men are keys to the relationshiip and the only person trying to keep this relationship alive is you. It's time to realize it's over and to cut your losses now. Nearly a decade together and you still don't realize she's stringing you along...Kindest woman you've ever met...you're head is so high in the clouds you don't even see how massive the red flags are...
This is what you need to do. You need to break up with her. It's clear she doesn't respect you in this relationship. It's clear she is stringing you along. Hell, I'm willing to bet money she's cheating on you. You're telling me she's been with you her entire 20s, doesn't want to commit 6 years in, doesn't want to commit just before turning 30, and she's been faithful to you this entire time? Unless this girl is from some asian country that values purity and relationships, you are absolutely delusional and out of your damn mind. It is time to face facts, it's over. You've wasted nearly a decade of your life on this woman and she will NEVER be ready. You are layaway. She is waiting for the rich successful 6 foot 6 pack 600k dude to sweep her off her feet and that is DEFINITELY not you. If her delusions don't happen, she's settling with you. Walk away dude, you are not her first choice, don't be the guy that decides to be the girl she settles with. I mean, dude. Look at all this shit you're doing. Kayaking, picnics, beaches, etc. Look at all this effort. Don't you want a woman worthy of that effort? A woman that says yes when you propose because she actually loves you? A woman who would not only clear her schedule but be actively happy to go on a date with you instead of hanging out with some college roommates? This woman is bullshit. Never EVER love a woman enough that you are afraid to walk away from the relationship.
The sick part. When he dumps her, she will then say - "but I was going to say yes and was waiting for you to ask now." That will get her another 5 yrs before the divorce.
It's the guy's fault for not leaving on the spot after the first rejection.
You turn down a proposal thats it, if theres going to be a second proposal it comes from the one who rejected it. This is 2024 Women can propose.
I fully agree.
If it's coming from the one who initially rejected it, it's basically similar to a "please take me back" situation (like what happens when they're caught cheating). Don't trust it, once it's over, it's over, no mulligans.
Sunken cost fallacy..thats what he's in
This.
🎯 💯
This.
Yep pretty much. At that point he is the temporary beta orbiter until something better comes around - so he has already lost - he just doesn't realise that.
This chicken is stringing him along because she doesn't think he's "Mr. Right" - he's merely "Mr. Good Enough For Now", and she's just waiting on her 6-6-6 to show up.
Oh the other guy is already in the picture, he's just not going to propose and she's still holding out hope.
6 feet tall, 6 figures, what’s the third? 6 inches? 😂😂😂
@@no.no.4680 Yep
@@TheNewRedOne why so small?
@@earlgrey2130 6 inches is average, really.
I wonder how he was able to put up with her for so long and convince himself that she was wife material for him. She doesn't even make him her priority, but her friends/acquaintances. If she can't even muster the minimum of loyalty for him, who knows if she can be or ever has been faithful to him.
I’d be gone quicker than roadrunner escaping Wiley Coyote 😂
That's when you say: "Sure. We're through. I'll try with someone who will appreciate me."
And walk the fuck away, never looking back.
That woman is entitled and crazy. Dodge that bullet, bro.
One rejection and it's "Bye Felicia"
She doesn't want you, she just wants the attention and money thrown at her. She hasn't cared about hurting and humiliating you.
Why would you try again and again?
"Going to get strung along" She has strung him along for nearly a decade now. This is such a sad thing to hear.
I would have run away so fast after the first one.
Dude wasnt compromising, he was caving. She wasted his time and lost respect for him.
How do you lose respect for someone you don't even know?
If he was only with her for a future pay out of marriage then she made the right call.
if her reason is "i'm not ready" every single time, she'll never be ready. especially after she laughed at him for wanting to discuss it. she's stringing OP along for her own enjoyment. real scummy of her, OP should leave.
yes she is a piece of garbage. But he is a total loser. He should left years ago.
Somebody introduce this poor man to Charlie Brown, Lucy and the football.
Strike 3: YOURE OUT! I Won’t Ask You Twice…
She views this guy as "comfortable" and doesn't want to be alone. Time to cut the bird free, better for both.
She clearly doesn’t wanna get married because of her parents marriage but refuses to let him down and just tell him so instead she’s manipulating him along. She’ll never say yes and will waste years of his life. She’s selfish and a poor communicator. He needs to leave her and find someone who actually cares about him and knows how to communicate.
She became the reason why marriage wont work
She doesn’t love him. She loves the idea of love and loves the grand story/lifestyle. Dude run!
I got married when I was 19. We've been married for 21 years now. And in those 21 years, if there's one thing that I learned, it's this...
I'll never get married again. Ever.
Is that good or is that bad in this context?
@@alexanderavila4662 I guess that depends on your perspective, but I'll put it to you like this:
I will never again allow loving someone else to take priority over my own mental health, well-being, and happiness.
Too bad for you. My wife and I have been together for over 50 years and it is the best thing we've ever done. I'd do it over 100 times if given the chance!
Awesome. Whats the secret??@@johnditoro1676
Bro dodged a bullet there for sure. He managed to get a girl he loves to stay with him, and largely fulfill the role of a wife, but totally skipped the part where they enter in to a legally binding contract that entitles her to half of all his worldly assets if she bails on the relationship.
Well done my man.
I think there *are* "bad proposals" where a "no", with good reasons is fully valid: after a traumatic event, on a whim, and so on...
These aren't such situations. And the couple isn't a good match, despite what he's telling himself: Don't agree on weddings, don't like each other's friends, some passive agressive behaviour towards each other. Feels like the guy is so happy to have found someone that he's blind to her bad sides and the realization that there's so much better alternatives.
Three strikes. She obviously does not want him as a husband, no matter how much she claims otherwise.
Thank You! I just commented that Before reading this.
Who the F throws an "Eclipse Party"??? Unless they're college friends throwing a party to block a proposal attempt she doesn't want to have to reject.
This. She had to know he was up to something for that day.
The party was her out.
Nailed it.
A lot of people had parties for the eclipse.
Tons of people.
There were even spontaneous Raging Keggers in parking lots here at the Crack of Noon.
Especially if they are a fan of the movie Ladyhawke
"C'mon Charlie Brown, I'll hold the football and you kick it".....
That's the craziest friend-zone story that I've ever heard 😢
My question is are they even having sex?
If your proposal is rejected, break up. It shows that you want different things in life.
I'll be mega blunt, rejecting a proposal is grounds for breaking up, literal conflict of interests, the "Not yet" excuse works once, that man needs to move on and get someone else.
What does “not yet” even mean other than “I’m still considering leaving you for someone else” like how are still vetting a guy after almost a decade
I don't care if she fits like a glove, it ain't ever good enough to go through all that.
The glove does not fit.
@@JohnnyOttosson85If the glove does not fit, you must "Exit"! Lol 🤭😆
Jesus Christ! A proposal, or even a wedding set for during and under a total solar eclipse??? NO-ONE couldn't even hope to get a bigger moment than that! It's like a 'Heaven and Earth being 'In tune' with your love and devotion to each other on that momentous occasion'...
😎🇬🇧
The first proposal should’ve been a warning.
I was (brutally) rejected once. When you reject a man's proposal, especially if you reject it harshly or imply that he's somehow not good enough to marry, you change not only the dynamic of your relationship with him, but you have also likely changed the dynamic of his relationships with any women for years to come, maybe even for life.
She even suggested the big proposal event, then tried to get out of it by going to a friend's party. That wasn't a coincidence. She ain't the one, and it's time for him to move on before he gets used even more.
She's cheating, and looking for better option.
First thing I thought too.
bingo
Yup.
A lot of women say it's not cheating unless they are a fiance or husband. Poor guy doesn't even know it.
You walk away after she refuses the first time.
It can depend. Sometimes it’s an “I’m not ready” sort of situation. Usually, if she says she’s flat out not interested, yes, you move on.
@@gamera5160 No if she refuses, you walk. The "not being ready" garbage means there's someone else or she's not that into you. If it's been nine years like this relationship in this video, nah, she says no, I walk.
@@zeddwulfen7737 Nah. In this video: no way. No way anyone should stay after that. However, if you’ve been together a year, sometimes an “I’m not sure” or “I’m not ready” is fine.
@gamera5160 I get what you're saying but I got to disagree man. If she loves you she breaks the rules for you. When a woman starts making rules for you.That means she's settling for you.Women break the rules for the men they love women set rules for the men they settle for. Same thing for unsure. If she has to think about it, Or she's uncertain about you. Trust me , she's going to be uncertain about you later in life too. It means she's thinking about better offers. Move on that girl gonna cheat eventually if she hasn't already. Drizzle drizzle king XD
Idk it depends. Propose after 2 weeks? "I'm not being ready "would be an appropriate response.
I don't think this guy has any self respect at all. JMO: he should grow a pair.
If your partner says no because they think/know they’re not ready yet. Sure. But if it’s 8 years?! Na man, that no is much more devastating!
I mean , long engagements are a thing. As long as you can see a future with the person, i don't see a reason not to accept. You can be engaged for as long as you want.
A no is the end of it. Especially if its because she didn't think it was fancy enough. If asking is not enough by itself, shes to needy.
If she wanted a particular type of proposal, she should have told him after the first time. But I'm also putting some fault on him for continuing to be a doormat,
that guy could have really used a friend to tell him to move on
I don't think she lets him have friends. (who aren't already her friends)
Yeah she’s not committing & holding off for someone better
My now husband proposed twice. The first time he asked, I squealed, "Yes!", hugged him, then realized that he seemed to be asking for future reference. "So, are we engaged now or were you just double checking that we're on the same page?" He chuckled, got off the couch and onto one knee, and asked again.
We've been married for eight years now. He just recently confirmed that he had in fact been asking me for future reference, but seeing my reaction made him realize there was no reason to wait any longer and actually proposed.
Dude needs to run!!!!!🏃
Waiting for the right dog? Buddy, you’re her dog!
Saying no once I can get, at least if it was at an awkward time or place. Saying no two or three times, and each time making up excuses saying in so and so many years they're ready, yet expecting them to still stay with you? No, you've lost me.
Walk away. Quietly or openly, just walk away.
There's someone out there that won't play with your heart like it's a tabletop RPG. Respect her decision, however quiet, to reject your proposal, and find someone who truly appreciates you.
My man needs to sell that ring and get his passport.
I PROMISE you, man, there is someone who will jump and sing to the heavens for your proposal.
This is why it’s so important to have the talk about ”the big things” with your partner really early on: 1. Kids 2. Marriage 3. Life goals and values. If you don’t agree on at least 1. and 2., go find someone who does.
If she is the ”marrying type”, one proposal should be it, maybe two if there are really good reasons not to say yes the first time.
So they'd already been dating for _six years_ before he proposed to her the first time? And after _six years_ of dating, she "wasn't ready yet"? At that point it was already obvious that she was never going to say yes; if getting married is important to him, he should have walked away then.
That being said... They do sound like they're perfect for one another: she's selfish and manipulative, and he has zero self-respect. And since neither of them will ever be able to be part of a healthy relationship anyway, they might as well stick together and keep each other out of the dating market.
Once is coincidence, twice is unfortunate, 3 times is enemy action.
I'm not going to beg. Being in that kind of relationship on the inside, it's very hard to realise what is going on.
This was a very insightful video. It did bring back a lot of scars of mine from failed attempts at dating.
if a girl isn't actively trying to get you to propose after just 2 years, then she'll never be interested.
Debatable. My husband and I dated for 7 years, lived together etc because we weren't financially ready to get married. We honestly didn't start talking about marriage until yr 5 or so. We had a plan in place to marry, then buy a house, etc. We wanted those things in place.
NOPE! I’d be done if she refused once. That’s it, over. Just walk away. Period.
ask her in front of the friends. when she says no, leave right away and go home and pack her stuff in matching trash bags and have it on the curb for when she gets a ride back to your place.
This is the way.
Definitely feels like he's Mr Right-enough-for-now. She's getting all the benefits of a spouse while keeping her options open with a free & clear walk away plan. 🙄
That's literally insane. It reminds me of "Significant Other" where she asks the alien to re-propose, just to push him off the cliff. He eventually dumped her, right? God I hope so.
My late wife would get angry at me for doing things "wrong" and demand I apologize (not always in words but definitely in deed by the way she was acting), then would refuse to accept the apology until I got it "right" or until she thought I "meant" it (which by then I no longer did). This is manipulative behavior. If that sort of manipulative behavior has started at the proposal stage, RUN. You have a rare opportunity to dodge a bullet.