Based on your experience it seems that Korean culture doesn't respect mothers (working or otherwise) and the Society doesn't want children to be seen or heard. You are shamed for not having kids and you're also shamed for having kids. Its a lose-lose
I think the mandatory military service is also really damaging. Unless the guys enlist at 18, they study, have a bit of career and they have to abandon everything for 18 months just to come back with nothing to nothing and start from scratch, earning money, getting house/apartment...how are they going to start a family with nothing?
Are you bordering a country that wants to annihilate you? Did we collectively lose our minds?? Also national service probably the best thing South Korea has since it does off ramp many men in South Korea to gain skill and experience. The USA would definitely benefit from a national service as that would pull many people who wants skills And connection with other people in an otherwise atomizing world.
@@henrytep8884 I come from a country that was occupied for 40 years, so yes I know what I am talking about. What benefits the country more - people who pay taxes or people who are learning "skills" at the military such as how to load a gun? Also, if you do not use your "skills", you do not practise regularly, what are going to remember after 10 years when you are out of service and possible war comes? Nothing.
@@Sonia94537 Korea was occupied and went through Korean War. Korea is under constant threat. Korea doesn't want mandatory military service but it has no choice. It was other countries that occupied, attacked, invaded, controlled Korea. It was other countries that tore Korea into two so blame those countries, not Korea.
@@justlim622 I understand that since I come from a country that was occupied by another country for 40 years. Both my dad and my brother went through ms that lasted for 2 years back then. They both told me that even though you learnt a lot, the technology moves forward so fast these days that what is new today is obsolete in a couple of months and you forget things once you come back to your "normal" life. I watched some SK vlogs where the guys said that what they learnt at ms was how to load a gun and how to cook ramen in the original packaging… Some SK divisions send their soldiers to the mountains with temperatures below zero, no hygiene, barely any food - what kind of skill are they going to learn there? My whole point is that 18 months is too long, it cuts their life, potential career, studies and delays starting a family. 6 months to learn the basics would be enough.
As an outsider looking in. My opinion , why Koreans men and women who dont want to have children's are: 1. Sociatuly pressure of having their kids in every extra coriculum that exist, which cost money. 2. There is too much competition 4. Judgment from other parents . 5. Living costs are very high 6. Young generations have gone through all the living basically in school and always compiting even with family and friends, that they want to finally live for themselves and enjoy their money that they work so hard for.
I have never met a Korean person my age who didn't have major issues with their mothers. Motherhood in Korea is really horrifying, so much pressure your kids end up hating you and not wanting to become parents themselves.
It's surprising how rude those men were to you. This really helps me understand 4B. If I was surrounded by men like that I wouldn't want anything to do with them either. Koreans have much more strenuous education than in the US but they don't end up any better off for it, in the US even the kids who end up in good jobs and wealthy were always slackers, I feel like education in the US is about buying qualifications while in Korea it's endless studying and grinding even if it doesn't have a point, just because they have to compete. In the US education is fairly easy because it's more about gatekeeping poor people out.
Knock it off with the stupid idiotic false sweeping generalizations about Americans and our excellent public schools based on a few of your own personal experiences.
Thanks for your video! The falling marriage rate confuses me because I see sooo many couples around. It seems like almost everyone around you is in a relationship or dating someone.
Back in the day, having children was the selfish thing to do, but now not having them is the selfish thing to do. It's good that the selfish genes self purge from our species.
My two cents pertains to all women, not just Korean women ... here it is ... not all women want marriage and/or kids. In the past, woman HAD to get married and start having kids. Really, there were no other options. The independent women who can support herself is still a fairly new concept in a lot of countries, and I think that is happening in Korea, my birth country. Unlike the US, Korean women pretty much give up their jobs/careers once they get married and/or start having kids. There is no going back to work if your husband has a job. Korea still has low rate of unwed mothers because you risk shaming and social exclusion. So, basically, faced with a choice where you really don't want to have kids in the first place, why would young Korean women want marriage and kids?!
I was told an old saying one time when i was a kid. They told me it gets worse before it gets any better. Meaning Majority of people in society have to make a change to turn it around. Until then it will get worse till it gets addressed and actions are taken. One entity like the goverment or one person will not work no matter how much they try when people or groups dont listen.
Your podcast popped up in my feed, and curious ... I found that most of what you say applies to Japan as well. I am an American immigrant, here for 42 years now, having resigned in protest 10 years ago from a Japanese college, effectively ending any social currency I thought I had accumulated. Now, except for a number of friends I can count on one hand, an invisible man. Cheers, and thanks for a job well done. Looking forward to listening to more of your insights.
Because from what I have read is that Korean women want to be free to do what they want, to earn money and to have a life. It also has to do with income, many people just can't afford to have kids, kids are very expensive. I have seen this trend through out Asia, you seen it in Japan, and even China. We really are in a time where birthrates are dropping everywhere and honestly we don't need a bigger population. I think the biggest concern is an agining population. Who will take care of the aging population is the question. The thing is that people are realizing that life and not being so stressed is also not healthy. The other thing for Korea is that there is issues like you mentioned in previous videos, women being attacked, women being disrespected and women don't want to put up with misogny anymore in Korean culture. It is super toxic. When the Me Too movement reach Korea it really affected how women viewed men and their society. It is less attractive to want to be someone's victim. That is just from what I have read and heard.
I would have been SOOO much more motivated to study well in school if I knew that getting into Yonsei meant getting to see kpop concerts at Yonsei all the time. They really should make kpop concerts at universities for enrolled students only, it would make the entire national GPA go through the roof...
Why do people put so much emphasis on kpop and boil down South Korea down to this one product that isn’t even the best product Korean produces. Sad world where talking about South Korea leads to some ridiculous tangent that entangles kpop. Can we actually try to see South Koreans for who and what they are versus this kpop brain rot mentality?? Seriously South Koreans are more than Kpop, can you actually try to see them as actually more? I’m glad I went to South Korea before this craze and got to see the beauty and the flaws of the Korean people for who and what they are before the brain rot western influence boiled all Korean experience and culture down to kpop. It’s disgusting.
Funny thing is most of my korean friends in korea are not into k-pop. A couple are but not the majority. But everyone I meet overseas thinks every korean is obsessed with k-pop. Which is not the case at all.
@@henrytep8884 Because we spend so much money on kpop it's a big deal and also is a big thing that attracts a lot of tourists. There is a BTS tour that is EXTREMELY popular that is sold and covers a lot of the restaurants and locations BTS are known to visit frequently, a kpop record studio tour where you can record your own song, a kpop dress up and make up tour where you get dressed up like a kpop idol. All these are HUGE tourist attractions. I'm going to South Korea this week to go to Waterbomb, which is about $120 USD at each city, so I'm spending $360 for 3 cities for waterbomb tickets alone, not including travel, food or hotels. And I've already spent over $5000 on kpop concerts, merch, albums, blurays, etc. in the past year for Twice, ITZY, NMIXX, Gidle, Blackpink, etc. There is also a couple of concerts that I'm going to hit while in South Korea on top of waterbomb, and then when I return to the USA of course we have the Gidle world tour going on which I also already have tickets for. So this $3000-$4000 USD multi-week South Korea trip is on top of that. I assure you there aren't many other things Korea exports that is so profitable. And I'm still here hoping that Limelight and NMIXX will start their next world tours sooner rather than later so I can buy all that up right quick.
I think this video is really on point, but your main experience seems (by my guess) to be confined mostly to Seoul. Seoul and the rest of South Korea are so different that sometimes they feel like two completely different countries (I’m sure you already know that, but I wanna put that out there for anyone who has never been to Korea) I am raising a kid in Gyeonggi-do and I would say it’s not quite so bad here. Thank god, I have never experienced anyone being rude to me or my daughter like what you described. But it doesn’t surprise me that it happened in Seoul. I definitely would not want to raise kids there.
I remember Bill Johnson put it very well when he talked about this. He's the Pastor of the Bethel church in Redding, CA. He decided at some point that he wasn't going to allow public opinion to dictate what he and his wife did and the decisions they made regarding their marriage and family . He told his congregation that she is his wife, and the mother of his children, and those two things were all they needed to know...and no more than that. I realize it'd likely be a tougher stand in Korea, but it's the husbands job to take the criticism and insults when they come, and allow the wife and children to live in a way that's best for them, not the public. We have to fear God, not man.
hey, thats so interesting. as a german mum of two lovely kids married to a half korean man i find this so sad that korean women have to make decisions like that. korea is such a nice country... i hope there will be a change in minds towards this child topic and everything soon. I really hate to hear how mothers are treated in korea but also how those crazy mothers treat others... i have a korean mother in law so i really can relate to what you are telling. she can be very interfering. but here in germany things are different and i am a very strong person, so i do what i think its the best for me and my family. it took a while, but i think she can finally see that i am a good wife for her boy. we get along well most of the time... love from germany❤
wow, all those uncalled for remarks??? jeez, imagine having that every day.... and paying for all that.... nah, if the culture isnt appealing to having a family, its not wonder...
I'm sorry, but being compared to others by not even your kindergarten, but the POST-BIRTH CARE CENTER you spent your first days in is insane 😭 being in constant competition since birth is wild.. Obviously, it's not the same for the entire country, but the mere fact that it happens enough for there to be talks about it is... interesting lol I also think that globally there are two main reasons for a phenomena like this - capitalism (including materialism, etc etc) and misogyny. Women are still seen as mere child rearers in a lot of countries, and it feels like we just.. lose our value as our own person once we give birth to a child, and become just that - a Mother.
Great honest 🇰🇷 🇺🇸 information! In any country, traveling women are suspect, morally. Their reputation is not at stake as it would be in their hometown. The fact remains that ❤your body belongs to you and no one has the right to ignore your your decisions. When bars close, its good not to be there for a guys desperate last chance. Often in life, timing is everything. During the 1960's, when I was in College, LSD was new and regarded as a fun thing to do and ok to add to a friends drink and see what happened. After this happened to a few friends, i would not drink anything, unless i saw it opened and poured. I would take the drink but pour it into a plant or dump it on the ground. One Athletic friend missed an international competition he would have won, spending instead time in a mental ward. He was found at the top of a building believing he was Superman and could fly if he jumped. An Attorney in another interview about Korea said all laws favor men in Korea. Feminists need to organize and fight these laws.
So informative! Young women should marry retired men who can/ will supply child care, income, insurance. Then they can pursue education and high income.
Based on your experience it seems that Korean culture doesn't respect mothers (working or otherwise) and the Society doesn't want children to be seen or heard. You are shamed for not having kids and you're also shamed for having kids. Its a lose-lose
I think the mandatory military service is also really damaging. Unless the guys enlist at 18, they study, have a bit of career and they have to abandon everything for 18 months just to come back with nothing to nothing and start from scratch, earning money, getting house/apartment...how are they going to start a family with nothing?
Are you bordering a country that wants to annihilate you? Did we collectively lose our minds?? Also national service probably the best thing South Korea has since it does off ramp many men in South Korea to gain skill and experience. The USA would definitely benefit from a national service as that would pull many people who wants skills And connection with other people in an otherwise atomizing world.
@@henrytep8884 I come from a country that was occupied for 40 years, so yes I know what I am talking about.
What benefits the country more - people who pay taxes or people who are learning "skills" at the military such as how to load a gun? Also, if you do not use your "skills", you do not practise regularly, what are going to remember after 10 years when you are out of service and possible war comes? Nothing.
@@Sonia94537 Korea was occupied and went through Korean War. Korea is under constant threat. Korea doesn't want mandatory military service but it has no choice. It was other countries that occupied, attacked, invaded, controlled Korea. It was other countries that tore Korea into two so blame those countries, not Korea.
@@justlim622 I understand that since I come from a country that was occupied by another country for 40 years. Both my dad and my brother went through ms that lasted for 2 years back then. They both told me that even though you learnt a lot, the technology moves forward so fast these days that what is new today is obsolete in a couple of months and you forget things once you come back to your "normal" life. I watched some SK vlogs where the guys said that what they learnt at ms was how to load a gun and how to cook ramen in the original packaging… Some SK divisions send their soldiers to the mountains with temperatures below zero, no hygiene, barely any food - what kind of skill are they going to learn there?
My whole point is that 18 months is too long, it cuts their life, potential career, studies and delays starting a family. 6 months to learn the basics would be enough.
@@justlim622 💯💯💯💯💯
As an outsider looking in. My opinion , why Koreans men and women who dont want to have children's are:
1. Sociatuly pressure of having their kids in every extra coriculum that exist, which cost money.
2. There is too much competition
4. Judgment from other parents .
5. Living costs are very high
6. Young generations have gone through all the living basically in school and always compiting even with family and friends, that they want to finally live for themselves and enjoy their money that they work so hard for.
nah its just femin
I have never met a Korean person my age who didn't have major issues with their mothers. Motherhood in Korea is really horrifying, so much pressure your kids end up hating you and not wanting to become parents themselves.
It's surprising how rude those men were to you. This really helps me understand 4B. If I was surrounded by men like that I wouldn't want anything to do with them either.
Koreans have much more strenuous education than in the US but they don't end up any better off for it, in the US even the kids who end up in good jobs and wealthy were always slackers, I feel like education in the US is about buying qualifications while in Korea it's endless studying and grinding even if it doesn't have a point, just because they have to compete. In the US education is fairly easy because it's more about gatekeeping poor people out.
no 4B is crap, this doesn't justify the stupid movement
Knock it off with the stupid idiotic false sweeping generalizations about Americans and our excellent public schools based on a few of your own personal experiences.
You’re spot on. In the US, your education depends entirely on money
said everything except the real reason: economy and culture
also, i loved all the stories
because you are so sincere and kind
Thanks for your video! The falling marriage rate confuses me because I see sooo many couples around. It seems like almost everyone around you is in a relationship or dating someone.
Back in the day, having children was the selfish thing to do, but now not having them is the selfish thing to do. It's good that the selfish genes self purge from our species.
I am completely impressed by how your faith has moved your perspective. Thank you!
My two cents pertains to all women, not just Korean women ... here it is ... not all women want marriage and/or kids. In the past, woman HAD to get married and start having kids. Really, there were no other options. The independent women who can support herself is still a fairly new concept in a lot of countries, and I think that is happening in Korea, my birth country. Unlike the US, Korean women pretty much give up their jobs/careers once they get married and/or start having kids. There is no going back to work if your husband has a job. Korea still has low rate of unwed mothers because you risk shaming and social exclusion. So, basically, faced with a choice where you really don't want to have kids in the first place, why would young Korean women want marriage and kids?!
I was told an old saying one time when i was a kid. They told me it gets worse before it gets any better. Meaning Majority of people in society have to make a change to turn it around. Until then it will get worse till it gets addressed and actions are taken. One entity like the goverment or one person will not work no matter how much they try when people or groups dont listen.
Your podcast popped up in my feed, and curious ... I found that most of what you say applies to Japan as well. I am an American immigrant, here for 42 years now, having resigned in protest 10 years ago from a Japanese college, effectively ending any social currency I thought I had accumulated. Now, except for a number of friends I can count on one hand, an invisible man.
Cheers, and thanks for a job well done. Looking forward to listening to more of your insights.
Because from what I have read is that Korean women want to be free to do what they want, to earn money and to have a life. It also has to do with income, many people just can't afford to have kids, kids are very expensive. I have seen this trend through out Asia, you seen it in Japan, and even China. We really are in a time where birthrates are dropping everywhere and honestly we don't need a bigger population. I think the biggest concern is an agining population. Who will take care of the aging population is the question. The thing is that people are realizing that life and not being so stressed is also not healthy. The other thing for Korea is that there is issues like you mentioned in previous videos, women being attacked, women being disrespected and women don't want to put up with misogny anymore in Korean culture. It is super toxic. When the Me Too movement reach Korea it really affected how women viewed men and their society. It is less attractive to want to be someone's victim. That is just from what I have read and heard.
Could only imagine how the guy would feel if he went to the movies in the US. Might have a heart attack.
I would have been SOOO much more motivated to study well in school if I knew that getting into Yonsei meant getting to see kpop concerts at Yonsei all the time. They really should make kpop concerts at universities for enrolled students only, it would make the entire national GPA go through the roof...
Why do people put so much emphasis on kpop and boil down South Korea down to this one product that isn’t even the best product Korean produces. Sad world where talking about South Korea leads to some ridiculous tangent that entangles kpop. Can we actually try to see South Koreans for who and what they are versus this kpop brain rot mentality?? Seriously South Koreans are more than Kpop, can you actually try to see them as actually more? I’m glad I went to South Korea before this craze and got to see the beauty and the flaws of the Korean people for who and what they are before the brain rot western influence boiled all Korean experience and culture down to kpop. It’s disgusting.
@@henrytep8884 It's important for the Korean economy. TWICE brought in tens of millions of dollars on their worldwide tour this year.
Funny thing is most of my korean friends in korea are not into k-pop. A couple are but not the majority. But everyone I meet overseas thinks every korean is obsessed with k-pop. Which is not the case at all.
@@henrytep8884 Because we spend so much money on kpop it's a big deal and also is a big thing that attracts a lot of tourists. There is a BTS tour that is EXTREMELY popular that is sold and covers a lot of the restaurants and locations BTS are known to visit frequently, a kpop record studio tour where you can record your own song, a kpop dress up and make up tour where you get dressed up like a kpop idol. All these are HUGE tourist attractions. I'm going to South Korea this week to go to Waterbomb, which is about $120 USD at each city, so I'm spending $360 for 3 cities for waterbomb tickets alone, not including travel, food or hotels. And I've already spent over $5000 on kpop concerts, merch, albums, blurays, etc. in the past year for Twice, ITZY, NMIXX, Gidle, Blackpink, etc. There is also a couple of concerts that I'm going to hit while in South Korea on top of waterbomb, and then when I return to the USA of course we have the Gidle world tour going on which I also already have tickets for. So this $3000-$4000 USD multi-week South Korea trip is on top of that. I assure you there aren't many other things Korea exports that is so profitable. And I'm still here hoping that Limelight and NMIXX will start their next world tours sooner rather than later so I can buy all that up right quick.
I think this video is really on point, but your main experience seems (by my guess) to be confined mostly to Seoul. Seoul and the rest of South Korea are so different that sometimes they feel like two completely different countries (I’m sure you already know that, but I wanna put that out there for anyone who has never been to Korea) I am raising a kid in Gyeonggi-do and I would say it’s not quite so bad here. Thank god, I have never experienced anyone being rude to me or my daughter like what you described. But it doesn’t surprise me that it happened in Seoul. I definitely would not want to raise kids there.
Post-partem care?-now THAT is practical.
I remember Bill Johnson put it very well when he talked about this. He's the Pastor of the Bethel church in Redding, CA. He decided at some point that he wasn't going to allow public opinion to dictate what he and his wife did and the decisions they made regarding their marriage and family . He told his congregation that she is his wife, and the mother of his children, and those two things were all they needed to know...and no more than that.
I realize it'd likely be a tougher stand in Korea, but it's the husbands job to take the criticism and insults when they come, and allow the wife and children to live in a way that's best for them, not the public. We have to fear God, not man.
Very interesting 😊 and I also will rewatch this video again !
Awesome thank you!!
This is a great video, it’s great to see you again❤❤
Thank you!! 😊
Thsnk you so much 😊
It was very interesting to hear you take on this topic.
Thankyou for sharing your experience ❤❤❤❤ sending love& Prayers
Thank you so much
hey, thats so interesting. as a german mum of two lovely kids married to a half korean man i find this so sad that korean women have to make decisions like that. korea is such a nice country... i hope there will be a change in minds towards this child topic and everything soon. I really hate to hear how mothers are treated in korea but also how those crazy mothers treat others...
i have a korean mother in law so i really can relate to what you are telling. she can be very interfering. but here in germany things are different and i am a very strong person, so i do what i think its the best for me and my family. it took a while, but i think she can finally see that i am a good wife for her boy. we get along well most of the time...
love from germany❤
12:41 so basically as usual, we women just cant win with any decision we take. Global issue 🥲 but definitely felt more in some countries vs others.
İ can relate to not seeing myself settling down too. I've lived in so many countries and i just can't stay in one place forever
I grew up homeschooled and married a korean public schooler. 😁
Great video!
Good topic. Subscribed.
wow, all those uncalled for remarks??? jeez, imagine having that every day.... and paying for all that.... nah, if the culture isnt appealing to having a family, its not wonder...
When women say they will end you 😳
I'm sorry, but being compared to others by not even your kindergarten, but the POST-BIRTH CARE CENTER you spent your first days in is insane 😭 being in constant competition since birth is wild..
Obviously, it's not the same for the entire country, but the mere fact that it happens enough for there to be talks about it is... interesting lol
I also think that globally there are two main reasons for a phenomena like this - capitalism (including materialism, etc etc) and misogyny. Women are still seen as mere child rearers in a lot of countries, and it feels like we just.. lose our value as our own person once we give birth to a child, and become just that - a Mother.
I’ve yet to visit a place where there’s “not many children” in Korea. They’re literally everywhere.😅
Interesting video.
Great honest 🇰🇷 🇺🇸 information! In any country, traveling women are suspect, morally. Their reputation is not at stake as it would be in their hometown. The fact remains that ❤your body belongs to you and no one has the right to ignore your your decisions. When bars close, its good not to be there for a guys desperate last chance. Often in life, timing is everything. During the 1960's, when I was in College, LSD was new and regarded as a fun thing to do and ok to add to a friends drink and see what happened. After this happened to a few friends, i would not drink anything, unless i saw it opened and poured. I would take the drink but pour it into a plant or dump it on the ground. One
Athletic friend missed an international competition he would have won, spending instead time in a mental ward. He was found at the top of a building believing he was Superman and could fly if he jumped. An Attorney in another interview about Korea said all laws favor men in Korea. Feminists need to organize and fight these laws.
Hahaha 😄👍
👀
Reasons
1. Selfishness
2. Feminism
3. Materialism
Its not complicated
Mostly materialism. If you look at central asia their birth rates are increasing rather than decreasing. I agree with your list
Become a communist, we are mostly anti materialism/consumerism lol
But I do not want to starve.
So informative! Young women should marry retired men who can/ will supply child care, income, insurance. Then they can pursue education and high income.
Great insights. As an american considering finding a korean wife, this makes me realize, it would be impossible for me to raise a family in Korea
"Thinks" ...🫶