I bid one seventeenth of a swedish lawnmower, 12 eggyolks, Nicholas Jacksons goalkeeping ability, a Kazakhstani prison cell, 170 zimbabwean dollars and a used deodrant from 1997.
My bid for the box is 49p, A plank of wood from a destroyed brunian house, a salt and vinegar pringles can with just 3 pringles left, a singular daffodil and a strand of my 8 year old brothers hair
Dear Esteemed Board of Directors, It is with great honor and uncontainable enthusiasm that I present this groundbreaking proposal to acquire the one, the only, The Box. This is not just a transfer bid; it is a statement of intent, a rallying cry for change, and a love letter to the beautiful game itself. You may ask: Why The Box? Allow me to present a comprehensive argument, fortified with logic, football philosophy, and sheer passion. The Unique Legacy of The Box The Box, rated at a "legendary" 1 OVR, defies conventional football wisdom. In a world dominated by Galácticos and world-class superstars, The Box represents the underdog spirit we all cherish. His mere presence on the pitch disrupts tactics, confounds opponents, and inspires memes that transcend platforms. Let us consider his attributes. With sprint speed rivaling a leisurely walk, passing accuracy that resembles a dart throw in a hurricane, and a first touch likened to a trampoline, The Box is a one-of-a-kind talent. Yet, it is precisely this lack of traditional skill that makes him invaluable. Why play a predictable game when you can unleash chaos? Financial Windfall This signing is not merely about on-field results but off-field monetization. Imagine the surge in merchandise sales: "The Box" jerseys, mugs, phone cases, and custom boots. His face plastered across every billboard in town, his story retold in documentaries. We would dominate social media trends with hashtags like #ThinkInsideTheBox. Sponsorships would flood in, as brands clamor to align themselves with the world’s most infamous footballer. Partnerships with waffle companies (because his ball control is syrupy sweet), or even box manufacturers, are just the beginning. Tactical Genius in Disguise On the pitch, The Box is a secret weapon. Opposing teams underestimate him, leaving gaps for our real stars to exploit. His unpredictable movements, whether intentional or accidental, can dismantle even the tightest defenses. Consider the element of surprise: False 9 Role: The Box’s mere presence will confuse defenders who overthink his positioning. Chaos Theory Football: Every ricochet, misstep, and misplaced pass creates openings no one can anticipate. Team Spirit Booster: Watching him play fosters unity as teammates rally to compensate for his shortcomings. Inspirational Icon The Box embodies the triumph of spirit over statistics. In an age dominated by analytics, his story reminds us of football's humanity. His journey inspires young players worldwide, proving that even the least-gifted can dream of glory. He is a metaphorical phoenix rising... slowly... from the ashes of irrelevance. The Bid: €1,000,001 (plus add-ons) To secure this generational talent, I propose a groundbreaking bid of €1,000,001. Why the extra euro? It signifies going beyond 100%, just as The Box does every time he laces up his boots. Add-ons would include: A box of oranges for halftime team snacks. Free shipping of his preferred cardboard storage units. A lifetime supply of foam footballs for training drills. Closing Remarks Ladies and gentlemen, football is about moments. Signing The Box guarantees moments that fans will never forget, whether they're howling with laughter or shedding tears of disbelief. Let us dare to think differently. Let us think... inside the box. Yours in football, Ian Director of Imaginative Transfers
I can't lie I copy and paste this into Google translate and let it speak it to me. I was laughing the whole way through. What a fucking passionate guy, wanting a passionate, maybe shit, maybe old, but as you said. Unpredictable. Like he can take a touch, and Jesus can play a one two with him from heaven
I have been waiting for YEARS for this moment… I bid: Slightly used green beans The world’s 3rd lawn mower A suspicious white van filled with used batteries A certified walnut And a light bulb (all inclusive).
The existence of certified walnut therefore proves the existence of uncertified walnut and that’s making me laugh way too much at this stupid joke. 🤣🤣🤣
I bid fourty seven of pep guardiola's beard hairs, a three-time used piece of chewing gum, a signed boris johnson photograph and an all inclusive winter holiday to sunny Chesterfield
I bid an abandoned child stuck in a bin on a motorway in Brunei, a singular piece of dandruff from Box V4’s head, an aqua fidget spinner from Antony’s trophy cabinet, Anthony Taylor’s hair and the red card from Box V6’s first game signed by the entire population of Brunei
My bid: McLaren and Ferrari strategy, Checo's form, A share of the profits of Thick of it, A cm^2 of land in Brunei in the slums, Coconuts handed picked by the Box's family back in Brunei. If u want I will add a milky way wrapper
I bid an FC Porto home kit from he 1987/88 season, a seat from Camp Nou, a halfway full bottle of Fanta, an empty box of glue from Oman, a CD of an Eminem album of your choice and a ripped copy of Faiq Bolkiah’s birth certificate.
I bid 5 tons of Guinness, made in the northwest of Brunei, £17.67, 2 Magnums, a map of all the best places for hiking in the southeast of St. Kitts and Nevis, 3 Antonys, 5 Freddo Frogs, Lingard's career from the past year, 16,378 air molecules from Kazakhstan, hair spray to keep the box's hair nice, and Big Garath's trophy he got from the Eastern Counties League Premier Division (Div 9). He got this trophy around 34 years ago.
A bit of backstory for the box V6: He grew up on a traditional bruneian tabasco farm. His childhood revolved around him running around the farm and picking ripe tabasco bottles off of the trees. Upon trying a single drop of the liquid, Awang's life was never the same. He started drinking hot sauce by the litre which led to the catastrophic failure of his entire digestive system. The doctors told him that the only way he would survive is if he stopped eating entirely. However, when he entered adulthood, something changed... Awang hit the maddest growth spurt known to man and he went from a 4 foot 20 kilogram gremlin to the bruneian shaquille o'neal. This growth spurt had its own problems though. Due to his rapid change in body, Awang simply couldn't adapt well enough which explains his slow speed, stiff movements and inability to do something as simple as kicking a football. But Awang never lost hope, he had always dreamed of joining Liverpool just like his idol, Ragnar Klavan. Awang's mother would send messages to liverpool via pigeon talking about her son's dream (Awang never learnt how to read or write). The Box V5, bruneian liverpool legend and current manager, upon seeing Awang's plight, provisionally signed him for liverpool. However, a mix up in paperworks led to Awang signing a permanent deal with the reds while Darwin Nunez was sent to the tabasco farm.
I'm bidding Kneeran's ACL, arsenal's UCLs, a random match ball from the 10 th divison of southeastern bruneian U10 interschool tournament, Man city's record without Rodri, erik ten haag's bald head and 2 brunieian dollars(about 1.18pounds).
I bid 1% of the money that went into the set design and script of the Acolyte, a chocolate letter with pickle flavour, a tag from Ten Hag’s old Twente kit from his playing days, the nonexistent ending to George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire, 78% of Ligue 1’s TV rights, a free ticket to the first 31 minutes of… not San Marino’s, but Liechtenstein’s next match and, lastly (big offer, I know) and 12% of the recently collapsed German government’s popularity.
I will bid 4 of the combined 6 hair follicles from Arne Slot's smooth skull, 0.8% of Grealish's English vocabulary, an F1 front wing endplate from the 2015 McLaren Honda,5 droplets of Wissa's sweat, a half-eaten Crispy McBacon,1kg of dreadlocks from the Chelsea squad, Hasbulla's sock & a handful of hay from a random farmland in Brunei. All for the Box V6.
I bid Niran’s non existent ACL, Allison’s ability to stay match fit, the consistency of premier league referees, and a regurgitated jager bomb for the box
For the Box, i am willing to bid Diego Costa's birth certificate, a giraffe's wrist, the sweat accumulated from KSI's headband, 25 fried ant legs dollars, a CD player that's got Usher's greatest hits stuck inside, 3 chewed mars bars in a bounty wrapper and Thierry Henry's shoelaces from his days in Juventus
I bid 2p, two thirteenths of a plank of oak wood from 1962, a broken off chip of paint from a 2011 Toyota Corolla, a seventh of an Uzbek crockpot, an aquamarine window pane, a broken toy fan, Reece James' hamstring and one of Shane Duffy's left Eyelashes
I bid Lukaku's hairline, a washing machine from the 1970's made in Fiji, a ripped up umbrella, used boxers, Antony, Vini's balon dor and 1/16th of a 10 croatian dinar note
I bid 17 and a half melted toasters, Iliman Ndiaye’s name pronunciation, a 3D printed copy of my second cousin’s GCSE history paper, my 184 year old cat’s toenail, Messi’s 11th ballon d’or and the entire Spurs trophy cabinet (freshly dusted)
I bid 1 peso per Man City charge, Rodris torn ACL, an Ange Postecoglou bobble head that is somehow upside down no matter how you rotate it, the 11 goals Russia scored against Brunei, the flag of Bhutan except the head of the dragon has been replaced with the Box V6’s face, and a soggy bowl of Pfefferpotthast I will keep him in a rusty dog kennel if I win 🥰🥰🥰
I bid a strand of a bruneian man's ass hair, 62 blades of grass from an Malawian 3 division team's stadium, 1989/90 Bangladeshi cricket team jersey and a shot of distilled rainwater
I bid the entirety of r/AnarchyChess's chess game that the subreddit played in late 2021, a used Uniball One pen with no ink, a Nintendo Alarmo alarm clock that has been severely beaten and lit on fire, the McLaren that Jack Doherty crashed and 23 ml of blood from a child worker from the DR Congo from back when the DR Congo was called Zaire. To add to that, I'll also bid a shred of a deflated ball from the final game Manchester City ever played at Maine Road, circa 2003.
I Bid 14.23 Vietnamese dong, the late queen Elizabeth the 2nds ACL, a packet of Ecuadorian maltesers, a SMEG FAB5 refrigerator in Blue Mediterraneo colour scheme, and a stud from the left boot of Yossi Benayoun
I bid paul pogbas football career from the last 2 years, a caramel freddo frog from Kazakhstan in 1532, 3 rupees and the opportunity of a life time playing for boston utd for 0.1 seconds take it or leave it
I bid 23 Zimbabwean dollars, soil from the second least known Bruneian mountain, a half eaten bar of bounty and a DVD of Arsenal’s 20/21 season and Chelsea’s 22/23 season
I bid the original box, a bruneian chopstick found in the catacombs of bandar seri begawan (brunei's capital), a song written by a literal stone rose, an inflatable chewbacca costume, and a broken smoke detector found in the hospital the box was spawned in (it has since crumbled to the ground due to radioactive poisoning)
I bid one 94th of a congo hand cream. A stuffed turkey 142 Central African Republic cents a pinata and used toilet paper from 1983 aswell as i strand of james milners beard. Hope u see this!
I bid the 0 hair follicles Pep has pulled out during City's losing run, a moldy loaf of bread from Mongolia with moldy butter, a packet of double thick oreos with only 6 oreos in it, and Gabriel Jesus' knee to replace Niran's. I am willing to add his other knee if you need it, but only on loan as Gabriel will need it back before the end of the season.
I’ll buy the box for one 2002 light brown Renault Twingo, a small militia of Warwick Davis cardboard cutouts (legs not included), 7¥, one rare Brunei beetle and a crisp high five
I bid two three hundred and sixteenth of dandruff from Erling Haaland's hair, a crisp packet full of sweat off of Erick Ten Hag's bald head and the only bit of a ligament left in FNG's injured knee
I bid Kyle walkers 3rd wife, Vinicius juniors ballon dor, 1\2 of ten hags hair follicles, Rodri’s acl, the copyright ownership of “rice rice baby” and Gervinho’s forehead
I bid a deflated futsal ball which was present at the boxv6s conception, a piece of chewing gum held by Joey Barton, half a flip flop which was present the last time spurs won a trophy and a used shoe lace
I bid 12 half-eaten packets of quavers, A Dutch flute made in 1685, 7 Coffees without coffee beans, A map of Brunei but it actually just china and David Beckham Left Pinky
Great to see the box coming back.For my bid I offer one sixth of a strand of hair from each generation of the box the notebook of Liverpools scout in Brunei as well as free access to the box V3’s only fans(wait till you see Mrs Bochs😂) and finally a limited addition bochs family Russian doll
I bid a half eaten cucumber from waitrose, what ever is left of neymars acl, the remaining hair folecules on peps head, david coote's phone and a fully eaten prit stick in a random aisle in asda (probably by box v5)
I bid a toe nail clipping from the Paul Scholes' video,one piece of hair from the cat that Kurt Zouma kicked and finally,a live performance of Thick of It
I bid a square foot of Bruneian land that’s occupied by an eccentric 63.27 year old homeless man who lost his house to rouge Russian missile, 5/73 of a blue cardboard box, 12 1923-24 German rentenmarks used to curb hyperinflation, 0.69 of a Brunei dollar, a coupon for a barber, the wrapper of a packet of Thai sweet chilli crisps and two of Diddy’s ballsack hairs.
I bid one tenth of a chicken wing, a jar of brunien air and an afro hair transplant for the gargantuant box v6 a weekend away to San Marino may be added to sweeten the deal 🤝
I bid the country of Burkina Faso, a singular pubic hair from the floor of the local Bruneian old person's home, a Football Manager 2016 Charlton Athletic save file, a squeaky plastic chicken, the remnants of Barcelona's transfer fund/piggy bank, 6 shillings, 4 euros, 2.76 Australian dollars, 0.6 rupees, 1 Korean Won, 2 Chinese Yen, a Pink Panther wafer (but only the wafer bit) and the entirety of the Mos Eisley cantina from that one episode of Star Wars for The Box v6
I bid an act that was previously used by rodri, which definitely perfectly works so niran can continue his dream of being a 4th choice left back for Dagenham and Redbridge.
I’ll purchase the box for Liverpools transfer expenditure over the summer, Ipswich’s wins at home, Bukayo Saka’s trophy cabinet, Antony’s goal contributions this season, Kyle Walkers pace, and a highlights montage of the box in the Bruneian under 7s national farmers league, he was 25 at the time. I’ll throw in half a digested malteser as well just to be safe
i bid 1 thirty-seventh of carlisle united's changing rooms, an alfreton town shirt with "we're on onefootball" on the back, a 30 second snippet of the 4th episode of breaking fifa 19, a used can of deodorant from 1993 and niran's birth certificate declaring danny mills as his father
I bid a Sean Dyche meme calendar, Arne Slot’s lost hair transplant invoice which meant he couldn’t get a hair transplant, every single trophy won by Pep Guardiola and the keys to Enzo Moresca’s house in Leicester
I bid my barber from down the roads diabolical trim, the sheep that Box V5 mated with in Brunei (to give birth to v6), the new Kendrick Lamar album and my English teacher
I’m bidding Fraudiola’s Final Folecule after the Four Nil Loss, the Box V5’s favourite meal, Polystyrene Packaging Pellets, former Libyan dictator Gaddafi’s plans to divide Switzerland, a quarter crumb of wheatabix (the box WILL need this) and the entire life span of Threads
I bid one strand of hair from ,the best manager of Manchester United, Erik Ten Hag, a bet of 150,000£ on Lando Norris winning the formula one championship and Mbappe's ability to stay onside.
I bid , 7 tons of yak cheese , 1 of Chris wood’s window panes, a cheeky bovril, one thirteenth of a Pepe hair follicle a share in the Bosch company and a handful of wu chun’s Brunei relatives
I bid one fourthyseventh if a brunein penny, 1 eaten walkers salt and vinegar crisps, 7 leaves of a crisp maple tree, a popped ballon and a key for a bruneian village.
I cannae believe it the box is back! To comemorate the coming back of the Box, I bid the first yellow card the Box v2 recieved on his debut, the modified pair of boots that the Box v3 wore to strike his free kick against Arsenal, the patch of grass which the Box v3 Jr shot and scored his first(and last) goal over, Faiq Bolkiah’s lost Tiger, documents confirming that the fake Bolkiah was actually Faiq Bolkiah’s adopted brother, the shirt that the Box v4 wore for his only game for Young Boys, the match ball which the Box v4 and his sister, Boxanne, scored with against Everton, the champions league trophy of the 2018/19 champions league final in which every one of the starting xi was bruneian, and finally the broken walls of all the people who bid for the box in episode 6 of the box v6. And if that wasn’t enough, I bid the diss track Alex Boxlade-Chamberlain made on a random farmer from mongolia titled,”You just got Box’d up”.
I bid one moldy sock that was once used by Maya Jama's agents dad, a DVD copy of Goal 2: The Dream Continues, Joe Biden's least favourite walking stick, an unfinished fan fiction manuscript written by Graham Souness called "Paul's Big Pog" and a rock from the Jurassic period which was given to me by Endrick
Ill bid Pep's hair ,Reesse James's hamstring,45p box v5's football skill ,Timo Verner's career and a small bruneian man with his only possession as a 1 pound 43 pence temu ring
i would like to bid on Awang Bochs. i bid pep's hairline, a small crystal chunk from Rodri's Ballon D'or and a slightly rusted stanley knife. I'll even throw in a RUclips Premium subscription too, so he can watch the F2 Freestylers uninterrupted in an attempt to get football work experience
I bid one pound from Liz Truss’ tenure as Prime Minister, the budget of an Arabian short film documenting Niran’s catastrophically diabolical knee injury, 5/15 of Oppenheimer’s 4K Blu-Ray disc and the 17 blades of grass left at Kenilworth Road
I bid 2 boxes of used retainers, my manager abdul jamal xiaomingabdi, 3 Packets of chewed toothpaste tubes, a Nigerian elephants tooth an action figure of a fat version of Antony, box v2s sock, the windowpane of little George from Congo and an authentic Chinese brick
I bid 446 yards of rural farmland in western Mongolia, Marcos Alonso's driving licence, a 2% discount at an Asda in Wrexham, a collection of Charlie Adam's toenails from 2010 and a CD of the best commentary moments from the 4th tier of the Ugandan Football League.
I bid Rodri's Right acl, My grans tissue that has been in her pocket since 1762, a bucket of water from Somalia and a half eaten bounty bar that was opened in 2007
i bid an extremely feminine tiny rubber duck, the d pad of my smashed ps3 controller, a used tissue, a statuette of randal from monsters inc, and a half eaten chilli oil pork dumpling for the box
I OFFER A MASSIVE BID OF : 95 roasted malteesers , 7 quid , 14 hippos ,John flippin Cena , a massive pack of hyneas , a single fanta lite bruv, a copy of fifa 23( bit dead innit) ,a class of infant monkeys, 2 boxes of ciggaretes and a handshake .. Cheers mate 🗣
I bid the amount of game time that kalvin Phillips got at Man City, a grain of sand from a Bruneian beach the Box V6’s right testicle, A San Maranese goat A half eaten kinder bueno that was eaten by a Kenyan prisoner called John , 176 chairs and 900 rotten teabags
I bid: 37 minutes of Winston Bogarde appearances, A copy of FHM that was found in a Uzbekistani ditch, A Burger that was made on the 175th on January 1987, 2 packs of Wether's Originals with half a sucked Werther left inside, and Clemence Dithering's middle shoulder blade.
I bid: playboi Carti's nxt album, 427.6 grams of South Sudanese dragon pepper, Erling Haaland's humility and olimpique lyon's final 3 euros which I stole yesterday
I bid half a haunted ukulele, a 1920s tap dancer's left shoe, 73.5 seconds of family reunion awkwardness, a hamster’s Shakespeare VHS, and 4.3 squirts of neon green 2003 ketchup.
I bid for the box, a half eaten ham and cheese sandwich from Lidl, a singular grain of rice from the motherland of Brunei, a six pack of cans of Guinness produced in 1973, all of Pep Guardiola's hair follicles and to top it all off, i'll throw in a vintage collection of Elton John CD's translated in to Vietnamese
I bid my nans used toothbrush, a true believer from Lego Marvel superheroes, 50 polish zloty, some slightly shat pants and my ikea pencil which I vigorously ate on a Sunday night in Wigan
i bid a 1 trillion dollar note from 2007 zimbabwe, the nose Hair of an American bull frog, a cardboard box of water (there might not be any water) and a clement dithering player swap, take it or take it 🤷
I bid your families safe return from the boxes illegitimate children which he had with the box v2, the boxes traditional Bruneian breakfast (a grain of rice) and Casemiro’s footballing ability in a box.
I bid one eighth of the box’s maternal grandfather, half of a bruenian 9th tier stadium seat, 3 hairs of Niran’s lockdown trim and 5 seconds of watching Danny drinkwater drinking water.
I bid a 2/17 of the sandwich that the box v6 had when he was in year 2, some ailognom, pep guardiolas shampoo that he shared with david silva, one capeverdian female(shes not leng) and finally the book that tought the offside rule that mbappe and all the boxes read during a barbecue in brunei
I bid one seventeenth of a swedish lawnmower, 12 eggyolks, Nicholas Jacksons goalkeeping ability, a Kazakhstani prison cell, 170 zimbabwean dollars and a used deodrant from 1997.
Look… I’ll take that for a Used Sandwich
I’ll throw in two more seventeenths of a different Swedish lawnmower and a two-thirds eaten traditional Bruneian Ambuyat for shared custody
This is exactly the type of bid we used to have, I love it
What about TAHA ALI
My bid for the box is 49p, A plank of wood from a destroyed brunian house, a salt and vinegar pringles can with just 3 pringles left, a singular daffodil and a strand of my 8 year old brothers hair
This is a A deal for The Box
You don’t buy the Bochs you lease him for the video
@@Alphoricye ik mb I've changed it now
Dear Esteemed Board of Directors,
It is with great honor and uncontainable enthusiasm that I present this groundbreaking proposal to acquire the one, the only, The Box. This is not just a transfer bid; it is a statement of intent, a rallying cry for change, and a love letter to the beautiful game itself.
You may ask: Why The Box? Allow me to present a comprehensive argument, fortified with logic, football philosophy, and sheer passion.
The Unique Legacy of The Box
The Box, rated at a "legendary" 1 OVR, defies conventional football wisdom. In a world dominated by Galácticos and world-class superstars, The Box represents the underdog spirit we all cherish. His mere presence on the pitch disrupts tactics, confounds opponents, and inspires memes that transcend platforms.
Let us consider his attributes. With sprint speed rivaling a leisurely walk, passing accuracy that resembles a dart throw in a hurricane, and a first touch likened to a trampoline, The Box is a one-of-a-kind talent. Yet, it is precisely this lack of traditional skill that makes him invaluable. Why play a predictable game when you can unleash chaos?
Financial Windfall
This signing is not merely about on-field results but off-field monetization. Imagine the surge in merchandise sales: "The Box" jerseys, mugs, phone cases, and custom boots. His face plastered across every billboard in town, his story retold in documentaries. We would dominate social media trends with hashtags like #ThinkInsideTheBox.
Sponsorships would flood in, as brands clamor to align themselves with the world’s most infamous footballer. Partnerships with waffle companies (because his ball control is syrupy sweet), or even box manufacturers, are just the beginning.
Tactical Genius in Disguise
On the pitch, The Box is a secret weapon. Opposing teams underestimate him, leaving gaps for our real stars to exploit. His unpredictable movements, whether intentional or accidental, can dismantle even the tightest defenses.
Consider the element of surprise:
False 9 Role: The Box’s mere presence will confuse defenders who overthink his positioning.
Chaos Theory Football: Every ricochet, misstep, and misplaced pass creates openings no one can anticipate.
Team Spirit Booster: Watching him play fosters unity as teammates rally to compensate for his shortcomings.
Inspirational Icon
The Box embodies the triumph of spirit over statistics. In an age dominated by analytics, his story reminds us of football's humanity. His journey inspires young players worldwide, proving that even the least-gifted can dream of glory. He is a metaphorical phoenix rising... slowly... from the ashes of irrelevance.
The Bid: €1,000,001 (plus add-ons)
To secure this generational talent, I propose a groundbreaking bid of €1,000,001. Why the extra euro? It signifies going beyond 100%, just as The Box does every time he laces up his boots.
Add-ons would include:
A box of oranges for halftime team snacks.
Free shipping of his preferred cardboard storage units.
A lifetime supply of foam footballs for training drills.
Closing Remarks
Ladies and gentlemen, football is about moments. Signing The Box guarantees moments that fans will never forget, whether they're howling with laughter or shedding tears of disbelief.
Let us dare to think differently. Let us think... inside the box.
Yours in football,
Ian
Director of Imaginative Transfers
I can't lie I copy and paste this into Google translate and let it speak it to me. I was laughing the whole way through. What a fucking passionate guy, wanting a passionate, maybe shit, maybe old, but as you said. Unpredictable. Like he can take a touch, and Jesus can play a one two with him from heaven
an essay to buy the box
Niran this better win
Niran will have never done this much reading if he comes across this post.
Good luck to bro
Hope this one wins
@@mayujamir6027 If he does read it then you're gonna win. as George Michael says "gotta have faith"
Watching this after watching City get clapped 4-0 at home is the most perfect evening I've ever experienced
Pep at his finest
Exquisite
Factual
As the great philosopher Max Verstappen once said: "Simply lovely"
Indubitable
I have been waiting for YEARS for this moment…
I bid:
Slightly used green beans
The world’s 3rd lawn mower
A suspicious white van filled with used batteries
A certified walnut
And a light bulb (all inclusive).
The existence of certified walnut therefore proves the existence of uncertified walnut and that’s making me laugh way too much at this stupid joke. 🤣🤣🤣
i feel like i'd actually quite like the worlds 3rd lawn mower
I bid fourty seven of pep guardiola's beard hairs, a three-time used piece of chewing gum, a signed boris johnson photograph and an all inclusive winter holiday to sunny Chesterfield
Ill purchase the box for 50p, one of lando norris's pubic hairs, erling haaland's machine code, neymars sister and an acl surgery.
Why tf have we both bidded different people's pubic hairs
niran would take this he needs the surgery
I bid an abandoned child stuck in a bin on a motorway in Brunei, a singular piece of dandruff from Box V4’s head, an aqua fidget spinner from Antony’s trophy cabinet, Anthony Taylor’s hair and the red card from Box V6’s first game signed by the entire population of Brunei
Well, it depends if the kid is male, so they can play for the academy, and in future replace The Box
My bid: McLaren and Ferrari strategy, Checo's form, A share of the profits of Thick of it, A cm^2 of land in Brunei in the slums, Coconuts handed picked by the Box's family back in Brunei. If u want I will add a milky way wrapper
I bid an FC Porto home kit from he 1987/88 season, a seat from Camp Nou, a halfway full bottle of Fanta, an empty box of glue from Oman, a CD of an Eminem album of your choice and a ripped copy of Faiq Bolkiah’s birth certificate.
I bid 5 tons of Guinness, made in the northwest of Brunei, £17.67, 2 Magnums, a map of all the best places for hiking in the southeast of St. Kitts and Nevis, 3 Antonys, 5 Freddo Frogs, Lingard's career from the past year, 16,378 air molecules from Kazakhstan, hair spray to keep the box's hair nice, and Big Garath's trophy he got from the Eastern Counties League Premier Division (Div 9). He got this trophy around 34 years ago.
🗣️The Goat!!!🗣️Niran’s career without the injury
Indeed
Broo the way i screamed yess when I saw the notification on my phone
A bit of backstory for the box V6:
He grew up on a traditional bruneian tabasco farm. His childhood revolved around him running around the farm and picking ripe tabasco bottles off of the trees. Upon trying a single drop of the liquid, Awang's life was never the same. He started drinking hot sauce by the litre which led to the catastrophic failure of his entire digestive system. The doctors told him that the only way he would survive is if he stopped eating entirely.
However, when he entered adulthood, something changed... Awang hit the maddest growth spurt known to man and he went from a 4 foot 20 kilogram gremlin to the bruneian shaquille o'neal.
This growth spurt had its own problems though. Due to his rapid change in body, Awang simply couldn't adapt well enough which explains his slow speed, stiff movements and inability to do something as simple as kicking a football.
But Awang never lost hope, he had always dreamed of joining Liverpool just like his idol, Ragnar Klavan. Awang's mother would send messages to liverpool via pigeon talking about her son's dream (Awang never learnt how to read or write).
The Box V5, bruneian liverpool legend and current manager, upon seeing Awang's plight, provisionally signed him for liverpool. However, a mix up in paperworks led to Awang signing a permanent deal with the reds while Darwin Nunez was sent to the tabasco farm.
I’m bidding the most valuable asset in existence- Neymar’s loyalty…to his sister.
I'm bidding Kneeran's ACL, arsenal's UCLs, a random match ball from the 10 th divison of southeastern bruneian U10 interschool tournament, Man city's record without Rodri, erik ten haag's bald head and 2 brunieian dollars(about 1.18pounds).
What a time to be alived !! Kendrick album, city lost 4 nil and most importantly of all THE BOX has returned
Finally the goat is back.keep up the good work been watching for many years
I bid 1% of the money that went into the set design and script of the Acolyte, a chocolate letter with pickle flavour, a tag from Ten Hag’s old Twente kit from his playing days, the nonexistent ending to George R.R. Martin’s Song of Ice and Fire, 78% of Ligue 1’s TV rights, a free ticket to the first 31 minutes of… not San Marino’s, but Liechtenstein’s next match and, lastly (big offer, I know) and 12% of the recently collapsed German government’s popularity.
one of the, if not the best bids I've seen so far
I will bid 4 of the combined 6 hair follicles from Arne Slot's smooth skull, 0.8% of Grealish's English vocabulary, an F1 front wing endplate from the 2015 McLaren Honda,5 droplets of Wissa's sweat, a half-eaten Crispy McBacon,1kg of dreadlocks from the Chelsea squad, Hasbulla's sock & a handful of hay from a random farmland in Brunei.
All for the Box V6.
I bid Niran’s non existent ACL, Allison’s ability to stay match fit, the consistency of premier league referees, and a regurgitated jager bomb for the box
For the Box, i am willing to bid Diego Costa's birth certificate, a giraffe's wrist, the sweat accumulated from KSI's headband, 25 fried ant legs dollars, a CD player that's got Usher's greatest hits stuck inside, 3 chewed mars bars in a bounty wrapper and Thierry Henry's shoelaces from his days in Juventus
I bid 2p, two thirteenths of a plank of oak wood from 1962, a broken off chip of paint from a 2011 Toyota Corolla, a seventh of an Uzbek crockpot, an aquamarine window pane, a broken toy fan, Reece James' hamstring and one of Shane Duffy's left Eyelashes
The music slaps, good pick!
This just made what I needed today!
I bid Lukaku's hairline, a washing machine from the 1970's made in Fiji, a ripped up umbrella, used boxers, Antony, Vini's balon dor and 1/16th of a 10 croatian dinar note
I bid 17 and a half melted toasters, Iliman Ndiaye’s name pronunciation, a 3D printed copy of my second cousin’s GCSE history paper, my 184 year old cat’s toenail, Messi’s 11th ballon d’or and the entire Spurs trophy cabinet (freshly dusted)
I bid 1 peso per Man City charge, Rodris torn ACL, an Ange Postecoglou bobble head that is somehow upside down no matter how you rotate it, the 11 goals Russia scored against Brunei, the flag of Bhutan except the head of the dragon has been replaced with the Box V6’s face, and a soggy bowl of Pfefferpotthast
I will keep him in a rusty dog kennel if I win 🥰🥰🥰
I bid a strand of a bruneian man's ass hair, 62 blades of grass from an Malawian 3 division team's stadium, 1989/90 Bangladeshi cricket team jersey and a shot of distilled rainwater
Never in my life have I clicked on a video so fast I’ve missed this with all 2/3 of my liver ( the box stole my other 1/3 for dinner)
I bid the entirety of r/AnarchyChess's chess game that the subreddit played in late 2021, a used Uniball One pen with no ink, a Nintendo Alarmo alarm clock that has been severely beaten and lit on fire, the McLaren that Jack Doherty crashed and 23 ml of blood from a child worker from the DR Congo from back when the DR Congo was called Zaire. To add to that, I'll also bid a shred of a deflated ball from the final game Manchester City ever played at Maine Road, circa 2003.
I bid my failing Chemistry GCSE, the bottle of Peterborough in the league one play offs, an singular irish potato and 12 root hair cells
I Bid 14.23 Vietnamese dong, the late queen Elizabeth the 2nds ACL, a packet of Ecuadorian maltesers, a SMEG FAB5 refrigerator in Blue Mediterraneo colour scheme, and a stud from the left boot of Yossi Benayoun
I bid 6 slices of guava, two used sofa cushions from the early 70’s, a box of cheerio’s, and Charlie Chaplin toenail clippings from 1934
I bid paul pogbas football career from the last 2 years, a caramel freddo frog from Kazakhstan in 1532, 3 rupees and the opportunity of a life time playing for boston utd for 0.1 seconds take it or leave it
I bid 23 Zimbabwean dollars, soil from the second least known Bruneian mountain, a half eaten bar of bounty and a DVD of Arsenal’s 20/21 season and Chelsea’s 22/23 season
I bid the original box, a bruneian chopstick found in the catacombs of bandar seri begawan (brunei's capital), a song written by a literal stone rose, an inflatable chewbacca costume, and a broken smoke detector found in the hospital the box was spawned in (it has since crumbled to the ground due to radioactive poisoning)
I bid one 94th of a congo hand cream. A stuffed turkey 142 Central African Republic cents a pinata and used toilet paper from 1983 aswell as i strand of james milners beard. Hope u see this!
I bid Ruben Amorim's beard trimmings, a bag of David Coot's magic powder and a microwavable sticky toffee pudding
5am, drunk, the box sent off TWICE... TWICE (Pep mode) thanks
I bid half of a Bruneian Dollar........ Note, a handful of air and a real fragment of Niran's knee
I bid the 0 hair follicles Pep has pulled out during City's losing run, a moldy loaf of bread from Mongolia with moldy butter, a packet of double thick oreos with only 6 oreos in it, and Gabriel Jesus' knee to replace Niran's. I am willing to add his other knee if you need it, but only on loan as Gabriel will need it back before the end of the season.
Finally I bid pep's hair and his will to live after that 4-0 performance.
I’ll buy the box for one 2002 light brown Renault Twingo, a small militia of Warwick Davis cardboard cutouts (legs not included), 7¥, one rare Brunei beetle and a crisp high five
The legend returns... Here's to a great series of The Box episodes 🥳
I bid my swedish heritage, a 2020/21 match worn forest green rovers kit, 3 sour skittles, and a ziplock bag of moldy cheese
I bid two three hundred and sixteenth of dandruff from Erling Haaland's hair, a crisp packet full of sweat off of Erick Ten Hag's bald head and the only bit of a ligament left in FNG's injured knee
I bid Kyle walkers 3rd wife, Vinicius juniors ballon dor, 1\2 of ten hags hair follicles, Rodri’s acl, the copyright ownership of “rice rice baby” and Gervinho’s forehead
I bid 2 quid, Kneerans trim and one sausage roll from greg's to own the box 5:26
I bid a deflated futsal ball which was present at the boxv6s conception, a piece of chewing gum held by Joey Barton, half a flip flop which was present the last time spurs won a trophy and a used shoe lace
I bid 12 half-eaten packets of quavers, A Dutch flute made in 1685, 7 Coffees without coffee beans, A map of Brunei but it actually just china and David Beckham Left Pinky
Great to see the box coming back.For my bid I offer one sixth of a strand of hair from each generation of the box the notebook of Liverpools scout in Brunei as well as free access to the box V3’s only fans(wait till you see Mrs Bochs😂) and finally a limited addition bochs family Russian doll
I bid a half eaten cucumber from waitrose, what ever is left of neymars acl, the remaining hair folecules on peps head, david coote's phone and a fully eaten prit stick in a random aisle in asda (probably by box v5)
I bid a toe nail clipping from the Paul Scholes' video,one piece of hair from the cat that Kurt Zouma kicked and finally,a live performance of Thick of It
I bid a square foot of Bruneian land that’s occupied by an eccentric 63.27 year old homeless man who lost his house to rouge Russian missile, 5/73 of a blue cardboard box, 12 1923-24 German rentenmarks used to curb hyperinflation, 0.69 of a Brunei dollar, a coupon for a barber, the wrapper of a packet of Thai sweet chilli crisps and two of Diddy’s ballsack hairs.
I bid one tenth of a chicken wing, a jar of brunien air and an afro hair transplant for the gargantuant box v6 a weekend away to San Marino may be added to sweeten the deal 🤝
I've been waiting for this.
I bid the country of Burkina Faso, a singular pubic hair from the floor of the local Bruneian old person's home, a Football Manager 2016 Charlton Athletic save file, a squeaky plastic chicken, the remnants of Barcelona's transfer fund/piggy bank, 6 shillings, 4 euros, 2.76 Australian dollars, 0.6 rupees, 1 Korean Won, 2 Chinese Yen, a Pink Panther wafer (but only the wafer bit) and the entirety of the Mos Eisley cantina from that one episode of Star Wars for The Box v6
3:11 Benzino is that you?😂😂😂😂
I bid an act that was previously used by rodri, which definitely perfectly works so niran can continue his dream of being a 4th choice left back for Dagenham and Redbridge.
I’ll purchase the box for Liverpools transfer expenditure over the summer, Ipswich’s wins at home, Bukayo Saka’s trophy cabinet, Antony’s goal contributions this season, Kyle Walkers pace, and a highlights montage of the box in the Bruneian under 7s national farmers league, he was 25 at the time.
I’ll throw in half a digested malteser as well just to be safe
🗣️🗣️I bid a pallet of galvanized square steel, eco friendly wood veneers and screws borrowed from the box’s aunt. 🗣️🗣️
i bid 1 thirty-seventh of carlisle united's changing rooms, an alfreton town shirt with "we're on onefootball" on the back, a 30 second snippet of the 4th episode of breaking fifa 19, a used can of deodorant from 1993 and niran's birth certificate declaring danny mills as his father
I bid a Sean Dyche meme calendar, Arne Slot’s lost hair transplant invoice which meant he couldn’t get a hair transplant, every single trophy won by Pep Guardiola and the keys to Enzo Moresca’s house in Leicester
I bid my barber from down the roads diabolical trim, the sheep that Box V5 mated with in Brunei (to give birth to v6), the new Kendrick Lamar album and my English teacher
i bid the entire gdp of Brunei, 2000 of aqua hair dye, a tea bag and 578942 big macs
I’m bidding Fraudiola’s Final Folecule after the Four Nil Loss, the Box V5’s favourite meal, Polystyrene Packaging Pellets, former Libyan dictator Gaddafi’s plans to divide Switzerland, a quarter crumb of wheatabix (the box WILL need this) and the entire life span of Threads
I bid one strand of hair from ,the best manager of Manchester United, Erik Ten Hag, a bet of 150,000£ on Lando Norris winning the formula one championship and Mbappe's ability to stay onside.
I bid , 7 tons of yak cheese , 1 of Chris wood’s window panes, a cheeky bovril, one thirteenth of a Pepe hair follicle a share in the Bosch company and a handful of wu chun’s Brunei relatives
I bid one fourthyseventh if a brunein penny, 1 eaten walkers salt and vinegar crisps, 7 leaves of a crisp maple tree, a popped ballon and a key for a bruneian village.
I cannae believe it the box is back! To comemorate the coming back of the Box, I bid the first yellow card the Box v2 recieved on his debut, the modified pair of boots that the Box v3 wore to strike his free kick against Arsenal, the patch of grass which the Box v3 Jr shot and scored his first(and last) goal over, Faiq Bolkiah’s lost Tiger, documents confirming that the fake Bolkiah was actually Faiq Bolkiah’s adopted brother, the shirt that the Box v4 wore for his only game for Young Boys, the match ball which the Box v4 and his sister, Boxanne, scored with against Everton, the champions league trophy of the 2018/19 champions league final in which every one of the starting xi was bruneian, and finally the broken walls of all the people who bid for the box in episode 6 of the box v6. And if that wasn’t enough, I bid the diss track Alex Boxlade-Chamberlain made on a random farmer from mongolia titled,”You just got Box’d up”.
I bid one moldy sock that was once used by Maya Jama's agents dad, a DVD copy of Goal 2: The Dream Continues, Joe Biden's least favourite walking stick, an unfinished fan fiction manuscript written by Graham Souness called "Paul's Big Pog" and a rock from the Jurassic period which was given to me by Endrick
I bid a single dead AA battery, a discarded Ribena carton and a singular pebble from the fine city of Stoke on Trent
I bid 1 ikea meatball, niran's acl, a strand of neymar's pink hair, 1 episode of still 0-0, the sandwich from a tesco meal deal and the box v2
Ill bid Pep's hair ,Reesse James's hamstring,45p box v5's football skill ,Timo Verner's career and a small bruneian man with his only possession as a 1 pound 43 pence temu ring
i would like to bid on Awang Bochs. i bid pep's hairline, a small crystal chunk from Rodri's Ballon D'or and a slightly rusted stanley knife. I'll even throw in a RUclips Premium subscription too, so he can watch the F2 Freestylers uninterrupted in an attempt to get football work experience
I bid one pound from Liz Truss’ tenure as Prime Minister, the budget of an Arabian short film documenting Niran’s catastrophically diabolical knee injury, 5/15 of Oppenheimer’s 4K Blu-Ray disc and the 17 blades of grass left at Kenilworth Road
I bid 2 boxes of used retainers, my manager abdul jamal xiaomingabdi, 3 Packets of chewed toothpaste tubes, a Nigerian elephants tooth an action figure of a fat version of Antony, box v2s sock, the windowpane of little George from Congo and an authentic Chinese brick
Niran fully going back go his roots let’s go
Big up Brunei, my country 🇧🇳
I bid 446 yards of rural farmland in western Mongolia, Marcos Alonso's driving licence, a 2% discount at an Asda in Wrexham, a collection of Charlie Adam's toenails from 2010 and a CD of the best commentary moments from the 4th tier of the Ugandan Football League.
I bid Rodri's Right acl, My grans tissue that has been in her pocket since 1762, a bucket of water from Somalia and a half eaten bounty bar that was opened in 2007
i bid an extremely feminine tiny rubber duck, the d pad of my smashed ps3 controller, a used tissue, a statuette of randal from monsters inc, and a half eaten chilli oil pork dumpling for the box
I OFFER A MASSIVE BID OF : 95 roasted malteesers , 7 quid , 14 hippos ,John flippin Cena , a massive pack of hyneas , a single fanta lite bruv, a copy of fifa 23( bit dead innit) ,a class of infant monkeys, 2 boxes of ciggaretes and a handshake .. Cheers mate 🗣
I bid the amount of game time that kalvin Phillips got at Man City, a grain of sand from a Bruneian beach the Box V6’s right testicle, A San Maranese goat A half eaten kinder bueno that was eaten by a Kenyan prisoner called John , 176 chairs and 900 rotten teabags
I personally bid Box V7's future inheritance money along with a curly wurly bar.
I bid the front page of GCSE maths paper, the wrapper of a bounty duo and a quarter of a coat hanger
2/15 of Reece James’s hamstring a garbage bag (torn) 6 rice grains from San Marino and a cardboard cut out of diddy
I bid: 37 minutes of Winston Bogarde appearances, A copy of FHM that was found in a Uzbekistani ditch, A Burger that was made on the 175th on January 1987, 2 packs of Wether's Originals with half a sucked Werther left inside, and Clemence Dithering's middle shoulder blade.
I bid: playboi Carti's nxt album, 427.6 grams of South Sudanese dragon pepper, Erling Haaland's humility and olimpique lyon's final 3 euros which I stole yesterday
I bid half a haunted ukulele, a 1920s tap dancer's left shoe, 73.5 seconds of family reunion awkwardness, a hamster’s Shakespeare VHS, and 4.3 squirts of neon green 2003 ketchup.
I bid for the box, a half eaten ham and cheese sandwich from Lidl, a singular grain of rice from the motherland of Brunei, a six pack of cans of Guinness produced in 1973, all of Pep Guardiola's hair follicles and to top it all off, i'll throw in a vintage collection of Elton John CD's translated in to Vietnamese
I bid a grain of sand from Egypt, an empty salt packet from the Coventry Building Society Arena, a Bowling pin and a prit stick
I have a very simple bid for my goat's return.
I bid my virginity & the Box's 3rd leg..
Welcome back Box😍😍
I bid my nans used toothbrush, a true believer from Lego Marvel superheroes, 50 polish zloty, some slightly shat pants and my ikea pencil which I vigorously ate on a Sunday night in Wigan
i bid a 1 trillion dollar note from 2007 zimbabwe, the nose Hair of an American bull frog, a cardboard box of water (there might not be any water) and a clement dithering player swap, take it or take it 🤷
I bid your families safe return from the boxes illegitimate children which he had with the box v2, the boxes traditional Bruneian breakfast (a grain of rice) and Casemiro’s footballing ability in a box.
Kendrick Lamar drop Surprise album
I bid one eighth of the box’s maternal grandfather, half of a bruenian 9th tier stadium seat, 3 hairs of Niran’s lockdown trim and 5 seconds of watching Danny drinkwater drinking water.
I bid a 2/17 of the sandwich that the box v6 had when he was in year 2, some ailognom, pep guardiolas shampoo that he shared with david silva, one capeverdian female(shes not leng) and finally the book that tought the offside rule that mbappe and all the boxes read during a barbecue in brunei