Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & *FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
I have totally opened up to my emotionally unavailable man and it has not produced what your saying. I kept on and kept believing and felt good as I was so true to myself, but NOT getting ANY response for soooo long is difficult 😢
I'm involved with an emotionally unavailable man who I've known for 24 years, although we weren't intimate until recently. He has ALWAYS been this way, again, I've known him. He's push/pull, his need for distance is off the charts. He's not dependable, lacks empathy. EU is a real problem!
I can tell you narcissism is not an 'illusion'. It is a B cluster disorder and it's very destructive. I was married and then divorced from one. There is nothing you can do to have a happy relationship with a narcissist, because you are always giving and he's always taking, and nothing you do is good enough. They are emotionally dead inside. I think the term is overused however.
It does not matter how much emotional maturity you have, how much healthy relating you use, how much perseverance or patience you can come up with, how much empathy you extend, NOTHING will influence a narcissist's abusive beliefs or distorted thinking errors. You are not dealing with an adult, you're not dealing with someone who's even sharing the same reality you are! You are always going to be completely ineffectual in a relationship with a narcissist and you can waste your entire life trying to make a difference if you don't adopt radical acceptance! And why does he seem to think a man "going to his cave" illicits being labeled a narcissist?? Who's pathologizing a full personality disorder from a single, innocuous behavior?? Narcissism isn't selfishness! Sure, self-preoccupation is part of it. But narcissism is not a single behavior, or even a list of behaviors, pathological narcissism is an unstable sense of self, punctuated by PROFOUND emotional immaturity. These people are literal CHILDREN! It's a VERY notable difference from just wanting to blow off your wife in favor of watching the big game! 🙄
There are true narcissists. I know because I have attracted 3 of them. I can pin point exactly when each relationship was on the way down. I was love bombed gloriously each time. Coming from an emotionally abusive childhood - never receiving the love and affection I needed. Same for all my siblings. I was a perfect target for these narcissists. The love, affection, little gifts and doing things for me ended as soon as I began trusting and giving more in return. All the good stuff ended, I was taken for granted and started receiving a lot of negative behaviors and criticisms. I know based on my own withdrawal before I even became "eyes wide open" with their behavior. First my normally high libido would start to drop off. I stopped cooking as much (and I love to cook for others). I stopped talking as much (and I'm a TALKER!). I am now in therapy to try to figure out why I keep falling for the same dance. I left the last one a lot more quickly than the other two because I started paying attention more to acceptable and not acceptable treatment. ("Oh, no. Not doing this again!" ) So I am working on myself now. I like myself, not sure if I love myself. I'm a generally kind and giving person, respectful and thoughtful. Maybe too much so in order to "earn" love? Don't know. And, by the way, the first one was given a true diagnosis of narcissism with anti-social features by a psychiatrist. I loved this video, but it bothered me that the label of narcissist was so casually thrown away. It happens. No. I don't believe all men are and I agree the label is over used a lot. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I am 48yrs now and finally realizing that I play a part in allowing these sort of men into my life. Now, to continue working myself . . .
Yes, there are real narcissists for sure. The main conversation was not about that topic, however, it is important to avoid them as they can be harmful. There are other videos on my channel which cover this topic. The challenge right now in dating is that people who are not clinical phycologists are running around calling everyone a narcissist. They are not qualified to diagnose. They are qualified to get out of relationships that don't feel good to them. Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you too!
I do NOT want a man on his female side. It’s the most unattractive thing ever. I don’t want an emotional man. I’m perfectly happy with a strong , masculine man!!!
I normally agree and resonate with Dr. Gray on his points, but for me, he completely missed the mark on this one. Since I tend to respect his opinion, I'll go out on a limb and say maybe he misinterpreted the question that was presented. There are definitely people out there with mental and/or emotional problems that impact their relationships. Their inability to connect with a woman should NOT be placed on the shoulders of said woman as if everything is in her head and it's her fault she isn't "open" and "vulnerable" to a person who may not even be mentally stable and developmentally normal. That is extremely toxic and misguided.
"Pull out of a man warmth", that sounds like too much work. Mature people (man or woman) in a mature relationship doesn't normally need anyone to pull warmth from the other partner. No?
Yeah I am not sure this is our situation. My husband walks away and refuses to talk about anything. Calls me the worst names imaginable and then stonewalls me for days after until I basically cant handle it and act normal again. If anyone cries in our house he gets mad at them. Many other examples and I am overly emotional and am very clear with what I need. This is not me.
u’re making women undervalued by always making excuses for men’s actions & for making minimal efforts in a relationship. we’re not signing up for a project, we want a healthy relationship and partnership where mutual efforts are expected from both ends.
Exactly. Telling women that it's all their fault that a man is emotionally unavailable is, ironically, a very narcissistic, one-sided way of looking at a relationship.
The whole point is that what men bring to or how they engage in relationships is different and equally valuable to what a woman brings (in a balanced relationship). But also that you have to build a reciprocal relationship and think about how men experience giving and receiving love in different ways. Expecting a man to be exactly like you and that your engagement is the only healthy way isn't very understanding/loving. If you want a relationship where you're both brining the same energies, feel free to begin one with a female friend. Could be nice for you. If you want to understand men and attract a balanced relationship with them... open your heart and mind and let go of judgement and assumption that they react or act as you would.
This tackles some men. This doesn't cover the full spectrum of men. There ARE toxic men out there, but it's a good idea to try these methods. This video shows the superficial layer of healthy minded men & could bring out good aspects. However, this does NOT apply to some men, including my bf of 5 years. He is flat out emotionally unavailable. He does NOT acknowledge how he feels or know how to deal with others feelings. He does not express shock, being excited, surprised, extreme true happiness, opening up saying loving things.. do ALL the work. I open up. He nods, says he has hardly anything to say. Or other times I get contempt, criticism from him when I open. Sometimes us bringing out the best in us, does NOT work
My now ex bf acted the same way. I am outgoing and experience/express my emotions, appreciated and acknowledged him and asked for help. I rarely saw him express ANYTHING but he would get at the smallest inkling of constructive criticism it was as if he was hiding from his authentic self and my intuition sensed his inauthenticity and i felt like he was dead inside. Why does it seem john gray blames women and puts all the responsibility on us to raise boys into men!? excuses mens behaviors on hormones. Whatever. There are users and narcissists out there for sure.
Thank you. He completely dismissed the fringes of the spectrum that include men who are mentally ill and disturbed. He also dismissed the existence of narcissistic human behaviors in general, with or without a diagnosis. A man who exhibits narcissistic traits/behaviors should NOT be dealt with by brow-beating his partner about how she isn't open and vulnerable enough to a person who likely has predatory or at the very least, very self-serving intentions. Openness and vulnerability is earned by men who show they are worthy to be shown that side of a woman. What horrible, male-centered, female-blaming advice.
Melissa, if sounds like you are settling for a man! You need to think much better of your self! You deserve a man who loves you and treats you with the utmost respect! Stop wasting your time on this guy and move on. He is not worth it. Find a man who loves you and shows it to you by his actions sweetie!
I am experiencing the exact same thing. Instead of expressing his feelings, everything is an analytical observation. When we talk, he always gives these long rants as if he is a scientist studying instead of feeling and experiencing. When I expressed my happy feelings in the past, he would act as if it was silly of me to be happy and try to analyze why I was. When I expressed emotions of anxiety and sadness, he would get frustrated and rant more in an robotic fashion, which drove me even crazier. I'm still with him, going on 4 years. I don't know how much more I can take.
Their may be a lack of humility on both sides that fosters an unemotionally available relationship. People try to change each other in a relationship to conform them to what they want instead of learning about who you are in a relationship with. Also setting boundaries and vocalizing how you feel.
Wow I’m so touched with her and his wise words!! Yes he is the man who is knowing better than many other people who is psychologist and coach etc. I used to being controlling wife, so insecure didn’t know my emotional connection how to heal it and always complaining to my husband. Now we’re heading to divorce but what I now know, it doesn’t hurt me anymore!! I now know before you don’t love yourself and don’t grateful what he did then it won’t help you further with the other new partner and so on.. so I took an year to learn love myself listen my inner voice to unlearn the social bad influences, bad habits from toxic parents , negative friends and siblings. So my husband was the one who tried to give me the love stability but if I don’t have the ability to see it and to be grateful it’s not helpful that he is suffering and give me more. To create fundamental stability in myself and it’s difficult to get from the partner, if you don’t own it! So please women don’t make our men responsible for our happiness!! We must have the happiness at first in ourselves then we could connect with our partner.. that’s what I am learning from the great John gray many other books 📚🙏🏻🥳!!! And it’s tough to face your emotional needs and heal them but if you don’t learn then you will stay slavery in your whole life! You’re accepting to happen thing’s and manifest them in your life!!
Well, I only partially agree with Dr. Gray. There is some truth to the fact that if a woman is emotionally unavailable, she may attract a man who is too, but from my own experience, men can shut down the woman. It happened to me. I told a man I was dating that I need him to be patient with me since I have fear stemming from my abusive childhood and past relationships with men. I reassured him that I care about him very much, but I only asked him to give me more time to open up. He seemed to understand, but then quickly used it against me and made me feel guilty for the relationship not working and making him want to back off. The relationship continued, but due to his attitude, he blocked me from further opening up and being vulnerable. Not every man is mature enough and safe for a woman to be vulnerable and open with. Many men deal with their own trauma and abandonment issues and can be easily triggered. Playing push and pull will never make any woman feel safe. I really tried, and it took me so much courage to be vulnerable with him. He didn’t make me feel safe to be vulnerable again.
Can you recommend one of John's books that helps women get in touch with their feminine side and also deals with how to become more emotionally available? These interviews are so enlightening, thank you.
I listen to his emotions and life's problems and offer solutions that he has used. But when I need him emotionally he's not there for me and will shut me down. So I suppress myself knowing he's no help to me on an emotional level. Also he's convinced our young adult children it's all my fault. I'm most likely going to walk one day out of the life I have now. There has to be someone out there that will appreciate me.
I disagree. A mirroring effect is not always what is happening in relational circumstances. everyone is not meant to be a divine mirror but, can simply be divine opposites. I believe you cannot understand one thing without understanding it’s polarity to transcend duality concepts. I met a beautiful man who had a beautiful soul but, there was so much fear and he chose to live a life with the concept of not needing anyone and isolated himself. I myself did not live by these concepts. I could see that behind the fear he was a great person but, the love, support and vulnerability that I showed was triggering in some way because of fear. Yes, it did make him softer and he showed me a side that was he wasn’t so use to showing. when he wanted distance I gave it to him and He always came back and I welcomed him with open arms. I wanted him to be happy and show him that their is hope and that people can love you and not everyone is out to get you. The world can be dark but, there is just as much light. Ultimately no matter how much understanding or care you show a person will never save them alone, they must do that work on their own. But, I still sincerely hope the best for this man regardless of what we went through. My love and empathy for him is eternal.
I thought for a moment I wrote this lol-had to check the name be sure. Absolutely had this same experience-just a sign that the man wasn’t in a place to have the kind of relationship we are ready for.❤❤
We can't what if with people we don't know. Each of you goes to therapy, and let the therapists decide if you are healthy enough to be going to couples or dealing with a dysfunctional situation. Do not go to couples if abuse in any form is present, emotional abuse is a thing. Many couples therapists will miss an abusive dynamic, check yourself. A manipulative person will keep you in this situation for years. NPD is a diagnosed condition, check yourself before you check him. Don't label people even if diagnosed. Agreed the terms are exaggerated and misused. Not every male is in need of this feminine partner. We need to find out what we and our partners need and go from there.
I guess I have to learn how to tell my guy how I feel because I must be doing it wrong since when I tell him how I feel, he rushes me, speaks over me and tells me what to do.
I have to disagree- Maybe the label is overused-but there are most certainly unhealthy men that are narcissistic. And saying “when he meets a man he’s quite wonderful” is just not a good look. I really like John, but when you’ve been through a true narcissistic relationship dynamic it’s brutal getting out. Brutal. And part of the brutality is the victim is blamed and gaslit so when John so readily dismisses the question & puts it back on the woman it stings. It would have been nice if he would have addressed knowing the difference between a relationship a woman can influence and one that she can’t. It’s not always a misinterpretation of a man’s actions.
Then he's _physically_ unavailable. It takes two to tango. I'm sure there are people out there who do so for good reasons (for example having a kid with bad health and loads of unpredictable emergencies, or someone with a damaged memory). I'm also sure those kinds of people should be quite rare. Or phrased otherwise, chances are your guy aint one of them. Your situation doesn't sound like one that will stand the test of time. Is there something he can do to change himself? No? Then he won't change.
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& *FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
I have totally opened up to my emotionally unavailable man and it has not produced what your saying. I kept on and kept believing and felt good as I was so true to myself, but NOT getting ANY response for soooo long is difficult 😢
That does sound painful. Some men are truly emotionally unavailable or narcissistic.
I'm involved with an emotionally unavailable man who I've known for 24 years, although we weren't intimate until recently. He has ALWAYS been this way, again, I've known him. He's push/pull, his need for distance is off the charts. He's not dependable, lacks empathy. EU is a real problem!
Sounds like he just doesn't like you
@@sterling1386 Maybe you shouldn't have been intimate with him because it obviously hasn't changed his emotional unavailability.
I can tell you narcissism is not an 'illusion'. It is a B cluster disorder and it's very destructive. I was married and then divorced from one. There is nothing you can do to have a happy relationship with a narcissist, because you are always giving and he's always taking, and nothing you do is good enough. They are emotionally dead inside. I think the term is overused however.
Absolutely agree. I think john grey doesn’t know what is narcissistic personality disorder. Or maybe lying to himself
It does not matter how much emotional maturity you have, how much healthy relating you use, how much perseverance or patience you can come up with, how much empathy you extend, NOTHING will influence a narcissist's abusive beliefs or distorted thinking errors. You are not dealing with an adult, you're not dealing with someone who's even sharing the same reality you are! You are always going to be completely ineffectual in a relationship with a narcissist and you can waste your entire life trying to make a difference if you don't adopt radical acceptance!
And why does he seem to think a man "going to his cave" illicits being labeled a narcissist?? Who's pathologizing a full personality disorder from a single, innocuous behavior?? Narcissism isn't selfishness! Sure, self-preoccupation is part of it. But narcissism is not a single behavior, or even a list of behaviors, pathological narcissism is an unstable sense of self, punctuated by PROFOUND emotional immaturity. These people are literal CHILDREN! It's a VERY notable difference from just wanting to blow off your wife in favor of watching the big game! 🙄
I think he’s just saying that people try to label people on the first get go before checking ourselves in our we do things
I like how he always redirects you back to you. The real progress begins when I get in touch with myself. Thank you Doctor. ✨
There are true narcissists. I know because I have attracted 3 of them. I can pin point exactly when each relationship was on the way down. I was love bombed gloriously each time. Coming from an emotionally abusive childhood - never receiving the love and affection I needed. Same for all my siblings. I was a perfect target for these narcissists. The love, affection, little gifts and doing things for me ended as soon as I began trusting and giving more in return. All the good stuff ended, I was taken for granted and started receiving a lot of negative behaviors and criticisms. I know based on my own withdrawal before I even became "eyes wide open" with their behavior. First my normally high libido would start to drop off. I stopped cooking as much (and I love to cook for others). I stopped talking as much (and I'm a TALKER!).
I am now in therapy to try to figure out why I keep falling for the same dance. I left the last one a lot more quickly than the other two because I started paying attention more to acceptable and not acceptable treatment. ("Oh, no. Not doing this again!" )
So I am working on myself now. I like myself, not sure if I love myself. I'm a generally kind and giving person, respectful and thoughtful. Maybe too much so in order to "earn" love? Don't know.
And, by the way, the first one was given a true diagnosis of narcissism with anti-social features by a psychiatrist.
I loved this video, but it bothered me that the label of narcissist was so casually thrown away. It happens. No. I don't believe all men are and I agree the label is over used a lot. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I am 48yrs now and finally realizing that I play a part in allowing these sort of men into my life. Now, to continue working myself . . .
Yes, there are real narcissists for sure. The main conversation was not about that topic, however, it is important to avoid them as they can be harmful. There are other videos on my channel which cover this topic. The challenge right now in dating is that people who are not clinical phycologists are running around calling everyone a narcissist. They are not qualified to diagnose. They are qualified to get out of relationships that don't feel good to them. Thanks for sharing and best of luck to you too!
You can enact all of his advice but if the guy truly is a narc you will only suffer your efforts in the end.
ya true ,there are narcissist men and women. After four years married life with narcissist I slowly and silently run away.
I do NOT want a man on his female side. It’s the most unattractive thing ever. I don’t want an emotional man. I’m perfectly happy with a strong , masculine man!!!
I understand Gabriela. Take care.
I normally agree and resonate with Dr. Gray on his points, but for me, he completely missed the mark on this one. Since I tend to respect his opinion, I'll go out on a limb and say maybe he misinterpreted the question that was presented.
There are definitely people out there with mental and/or emotional problems that impact their relationships. Their inability to connect with a woman should NOT be placed on the shoulders of said woman as if everything is in her head and it's her fault she isn't "open" and "vulnerable" to a person who may not even be mentally stable and developmentally normal. That is extremely toxic and misguided.
Absolutely fantastic. As we can see in family constellations, when a woman truly respects a man, he bends backwards for her.
"Pull out of a man warmth", that sounds like too much work. Mature people (man or woman) in a mature relationship doesn't normally need anyone to pull warmth from the other partner. No?
Yeah I am not sure this is our situation. My husband walks away and refuses to talk about anything. Calls me the worst names imaginable and then stonewalls me for days after until I basically cant handle it and act normal again. If anyone cries in our house he gets mad at them. Many other examples and I am overly emotional and am very clear with what I need. This is not me.
u’re making women undervalued by always making excuses for men’s actions & for making minimal efforts in a relationship. we’re not signing up for a project, we want a healthy relationship and partnership where mutual efforts are expected from both ends.
I agree, we are the ones working all the time and it doesn’t work thats way many women quit this nonsense and stay single
Exactly. Telling women that it's all their fault that a man is emotionally unavailable is, ironically, a very narcissistic, one-sided way of looking at a relationship.
The whole point is that what men bring to or how they engage in relationships is different and equally valuable to what a woman brings (in a balanced relationship). But also that you have to build a reciprocal relationship and think about how men experience giving and receiving love in different ways. Expecting a man to be exactly like you and that your engagement is the only healthy way isn't very understanding/loving. If you want a relationship where you're both brining the same energies, feel free to begin one with a female friend. Could be nice for you. If you want to understand men and attract a balanced relationship with them... open your heart and mind and let go of judgement and assumption that they react or act as you would.
Some men are just jerks and it’s not because of the woman men are big enough to take responsibility, he should address that as well, I agree
I m here
👧😍😍❤❤🌷🌷
John makes more sense then anyone I’ve listened to plain speak at last ❤️
thanks for watching and for sharing your comments too Joanne!
Why is it up to women to teach the man? Also NPD does exist, I think he negates this fact.
This tackles some men. This doesn't cover the full spectrum of men. There ARE toxic men out there, but it's a good idea to try these methods. This video shows the superficial layer of healthy minded men & could bring out good aspects. However, this does NOT apply to some men, including my bf of 5 years. He is flat out emotionally unavailable. He does NOT acknowledge how he feels or know how to deal with others feelings. He does not express shock, being excited, surprised, extreme true happiness, opening up saying loving things.. do ALL the work. I open up. He nods, says he has hardly anything to say. Or other times I get contempt, criticism from him when I open.
Sometimes us bringing out the best in us, does NOT work
My now ex bf acted the same way. I am outgoing and experience/express my emotions, appreciated and acknowledged him and asked for help. I rarely saw him express ANYTHING but he would get at the smallest inkling of constructive criticism it was as if he was hiding from his authentic self and my intuition sensed his inauthenticity and i felt like he was dead inside. Why does it seem john gray blames women and puts all the responsibility on us to raise boys into men!? excuses mens behaviors on hormones. Whatever. There are users and narcissists out there for sure.
Amen
Thank you. He completely dismissed the fringes of the spectrum that include men who are mentally ill and disturbed. He also dismissed the existence of narcissistic human behaviors in general, with or without a diagnosis. A man who exhibits narcissistic traits/behaviors should NOT be dealt with by brow-beating his partner about how she isn't open and vulnerable enough to a person who likely has predatory or at the very least, very self-serving intentions. Openness and vulnerability is earned by men who show they are worthy to be shown that side of a woman.
What horrible, male-centered, female-blaming advice.
Melissa, if sounds like you are settling for a man! You need to think much better of your self! You deserve a man who loves you and treats you with the utmost respect! Stop wasting your time on this guy and move on. He is not worth it. Find a man who loves you and shows it to you by his actions sweetie!
I am experiencing the exact same thing. Instead of expressing his feelings, everything is an analytical observation. When we talk, he always gives these long rants as if he is a scientist studying instead of feeling and experiencing.
When I expressed my happy feelings in the past, he would act as if it was silly of me to be happy and try to analyze why I was. When I expressed emotions of anxiety and sadness, he would get frustrated and rant more in an robotic fashion, which drove me even crazier. I'm still with him, going on 4 years. I don't know how much more I can take.
Their may be a lack of humility on both sides that fosters an unemotionally available relationship. People try to change each other in a relationship to conform them to what they want instead of learning about who you are in a relationship with. Also setting boundaries and vocalizing how you feel.
That's true! Thanks for watching!
Wow I’m so touched with her and his wise words!! Yes he is the man who is knowing better than many other people who is psychologist and coach etc.
I used to being controlling wife, so insecure didn’t know my emotional connection how to heal it and always complaining to my husband. Now we’re heading to divorce but what I now know, it doesn’t hurt me anymore!! I now know before you don’t love yourself and don’t grateful what he did then it won’t help you further with the other new partner and so on.. so I took an year to learn love myself listen my inner voice to unlearn the social bad influences, bad habits from toxic parents , negative friends and siblings. So my husband was the one who tried to give me the love stability but if I don’t have the ability to see it and to be grateful it’s not helpful that he is suffering and give me more. To create fundamental stability in myself and it’s difficult to get from the partner, if you don’t own it! So please women don’t make our men responsible for our happiness!! We must have the happiness at first in ourselves then we could connect with our partner.. that’s what I am learning from the great John gray many other books 📚🙏🏻🥳!!! And it’s tough to face your emotional needs and heal them but if you don’t learn then you will stay slavery in your whole life! You’re accepting to happen thing’s and manifest them in your life!!
I think there are truly unavailable men. This advice is limited.
This is true. We gals need to get in touch with our feminine side.
Thanks for watching Katherine and for your comments too!
these short videos are sooo good! I like John Gray 's stuff but his videos are 3h long, my attention span won't keep!!
Glad you like them! Thanks so much for watching!
How about when the woman is soft, and open, and the man is cold and unresponsive?
Leave him
WOaw!!!!!!!! The wisdom here is so exciting!!! Thank you sooo much!! So so much!!!!!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comments too Gabriela!
Well, I only partially agree with Dr. Gray. There is some truth to the fact that if a woman is emotionally unavailable, she may attract a man who is too, but from my own experience, men can shut down the woman. It happened to me. I told a man I was dating that I need him to be patient with me since I have fear stemming from my abusive childhood and past relationships with men. I reassured him that I care about him very much, but I only asked him to give me more time to open up. He seemed to understand, but then quickly used it against me and made me feel guilty for the relationship not working and making him want to back off. The relationship continued, but due to his attitude, he blocked me from further opening up and being vulnerable. Not every man is mature enough and safe for a woman to be vulnerable and open with. Many men deal with their own trauma and abandonment issues and can be easily triggered. Playing push and pull will never make any woman feel safe. I really tried, and it took me so much courage to be vulnerable with him. He didn’t make me feel safe to be vulnerable again.
Can you recommend one of John's books that helps women get in touch with their feminine side and also deals with how to become more emotionally available? These interviews are so enlightening, thank you.
Hi Alison! Start with Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. If you are single Mars Venus on A Date. Thanks for watching.
I try to stay on my feminine side but I have met a couple of men that do the push pull . It's hard to break through that
That can be hard Ducy! Thanks for watching and for your comment too!
I’m a woman and this make sense! Thank you
I listen to his emotions and life's problems and offer solutions that he has used. But when I need him emotionally he's not there for me and will shut me down. So I suppress myself knowing he's no help to me on an emotional level. Also he's convinced our young adult children it's all my fault. I'm most likely going to walk one day out of the life I have now. There has to be someone out there that will appreciate me.
I disagree. A mirroring effect is not always what is happening in relational circumstances. everyone is not meant to be a divine mirror but, can simply be divine opposites.
I believe you cannot understand one thing without understanding it’s polarity to transcend duality concepts.
I met a beautiful man who had a beautiful soul but, there was so much fear and he chose to live a life with the concept of not needing anyone and isolated himself. I myself did not live by these concepts.
I could see that behind the fear he was a great person but, the love, support and vulnerability that I showed was triggering in some way because of fear. Yes, it did make him softer and he showed me a side that was he wasn’t so use to showing.
when he wanted distance I gave it to him and He always came back and I welcomed him with open arms. I wanted him to be happy and show him that their is hope and that people can love you and not everyone is out to get you. The world can be dark but, there is just as much light.
Ultimately no matter how much understanding or care you show a person will never save them alone, they must do that work on their own. But, I still sincerely hope the best for this man regardless of what we went through. My love and empathy for him is eternal.
I thought for a moment I wrote this lol-had to check the name be sure.
Absolutely had this same experience-just a sign that the man wasn’t in a place to have the kind of relationship we are ready for.❤❤
Very wise counsel
Great video
We can't what if with people we don't know. Each of you goes to therapy, and let the therapists decide if you are healthy enough to be going to couples or dealing with a dysfunctional situation. Do not go to couples if abuse in any form is present, emotional abuse is a thing. Many couples therapists will miss an abusive dynamic, check yourself. A manipulative person will keep you in this situation for years. NPD is a diagnosed condition, check yourself before you check him. Don't label people even if diagnosed. Agreed the terms are exaggerated and misused. Not every male is in need of this feminine partner. We need to find out what we and our partners need and go from there.
What about attachment styles. Some scared emotions like FA.They pull away. So if I talk to my emotion they pull away.
Why is it that women are the ones having to give men jobs to do and having to always ask them to help out? That's tiring.
Thank you, your videos make sense and help bring about awareness and understanding to such an important part of life. Love and light 🌈
I guess I have to learn how to tell my guy how I feel because I must be doing it wrong since when I tell him how I feel, he rushes me, speaks over me and tells me what to do.
That sounds frustrating. Hopefully, some of the ideas in these videos will help. Thanks for watching!
Some of these men are unbelievable! Some men are wonderful and some are just plain fools with a gigantic ego to feed.
@@gionagrace3343 100%
Instead of being vulnerable with you he’s trying to “ fix” you. You don’t need to be fixed , you need to be heard. Send him one one John’s videos !
WOW! That video was NOT what I expected😂😂 But he's right! Damn him! HE'S RIGHT😅🙈
Thanks for watching and for your comments too Katha!
You're welcome😘 I love your channel
I have to disagree-
Maybe the label is overused-but there are most certainly unhealthy men that are narcissistic.
And saying “when he meets a man he’s quite wonderful” is just not a good look. I really like John, but when you’ve been through a true narcissistic relationship dynamic it’s brutal getting out. Brutal.
And part of the brutality is the victim is blamed and gaslit so when John so readily dismisses the question & puts it back on the woman it stings.
It would have been nice if he would have addressed knowing the difference between a relationship a woman can influence and one that she can’t.
It’s not always a misinterpretation of a man’s actions.
13:56 and 2:15 gratitude.
What about a man that stands up on you(misses appointments over and over again)
That is rude and inconsiderate behavior and should not be tolerated. Take care Judith and thanks for watching!
That man is very disrespectful and rude and if I were you I would not respond when he comes back after being rude and inconsiderate!
Then he's _physically_ unavailable. It takes two to tango. I'm sure there are people out there who do so for good reasons (for example having a kid with bad health and loads of unpredictable emergencies, or someone with a damaged memory). I'm also sure those kinds of people should be quite rare. Or phrased otherwise, chances are your guy aint one of them. Your situation doesn't sound like one that will stand the test of time. Is there something he can do to change himself? No? Then he won't change.
he is not there...literally
A man will make time for what is important to him! Drop this loser honey!
got my king dress on . ;)
What if you open up and he just blows up and can’t stand your emotions?
Then he may not be an emotionally healthy man or he may be feeling criticized or made wrong depending on what is being shared. Thanks for watching.
HOW IS A un emotionally unavailable narcissistic person is?
Thank you ❤
Do women want to be a Queen to her King.
That's a good way to put it!
Raymond, we women are looking for our king! As long as we are being a queen!
WOW!👏👏👏
Thanks for watching!
Wow!!!!
Wow
Jerks …..only jerks .
Women are so hard these days.