Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/ & FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
I truly miss my father. He was to me the ultimate masculine man! He did not have a female side in the least or an emotional side, however he had so much room for emotion. And, he made me happy! If I had a desire, he made it a reality. He was my hero. And there was an odd mix of reverence and respect of him. I knew I was safe in the world. And his presence made it clear that I was! Nobody messed with me when he was around and I loved it💗
@@roxiecariere5713 it's a deep subject but this man if you're hitting on it. The more pushy women get though the more men seem to crawl in their holes. Sad
My Dad was my hero. Still haven't met a man that could shine his shoes. Not a perfect man but to me, he walked on water. I know there's someone out there for me Chapter 2.
The best relationship I ever had was when I wasn't really looking, but it happened so naturally and was so easy because we were mentally, physically, and emotionally compatible. I miss that.
@@kristin1533 You may be right. I was working hard to a man once i called fiance, and willing to do anything to make him stay. It wasn't right. In the end i understand, it wasn't love i had for him, but an obsession.
yeah i like it to happen naturally, doesn't mean i won't gaze more and try to look good when i go out lol but i don't want anything to feel forced right because then its almost like you're projecting your feelings or convincing yourself you found a right mate etc.
My soft feminine side only comes out when my hormones are high, close to my cycle. Am always on the masculine side because of being a single parent and independent.
That’s actually when your hormones are at their lowest - your oestrogen is next to zero as you approach and go into menastrating. They’re at the highest when you ovulate which is typically about a week after you stop bleeding.
To me you sound like a very strong woman ❤️ Allow yourself to have some time for yourself. I can recommend be with your senses and stimulate them, such as a warm bath or foot bath with some essential oils in it or a nice soap ypu like the smell of. A nice bodylotion could it be as well. Or something nice for your taste buds. Or invest and buy some nice clothes/underwear. Small things for ourselves plays a huge part of our self care.
Before finishing watching this, I was already tearful. As a woman, I have my very strong female side hidden inside me, though I’ve been doing almost everything on my own due to circumstances and pretty bad luck, whether it being academic study, jobs, looking after my child, looking after the house or some repairing maintenance work and heavy lifting that is usually done by men. It’s so true that a real woman needs a man who can and is prepared to provide, though these day many of us women have been working so hard to do not only all a female is expected to but also many other things that many or most other women don’t. Where are the muscular hero type of men then? It is so nice to be driven by a man than driving all the time myself. Yet I seem to only come across men needing me to provide (a roof, food, monetary contribution etc.)as if I were a man. There must be something wrong with those men in their Hormons and upbringing.
I feel your pain deeply. My advice would be to reignite your feminine energy! You can begin by speaking softer and slower. That alone is very powerful to set you apart from most (masculine) women almost immediately. Have a soft, feminine disposition about yourself and just lean back from survival mode. It seems almost as soon as I began making this transition to my more feminine side, I began receiving help from the most masculine men no strings attached. I actually became a real life damsel in distress but I was rescued by a real life hero! Just allow yourself to be and also know that you can’t do it all. God will send angels/heros to take care of the rest! ❤
@@jasminealexial say, just be your authentic self, and eventually, the right man will come along and accept all of you, the feminine side of you, and the masculine side of you. I will not be anything other than myself to get a man.
His book "Men are from mars .. " years ago was a bible in itself. It explained the mindset and behaviour of both men and women so well with the sole aim to comprehend the differences between the sexes. Today I see love and dating coaches teach shallow, manipulative, calculating behaviour and try and make people be somebody they are not just to draw men. John Grey truly makes sense and has an indepth understanding of men and women.
We weren't told to step in and have power. We wanted to be recognized as equal beings and not only housewives. So, we've done it as it was the only option to get recognized and now we can relax and fully embrace our femininity together with having masculine skills to navigate through this world's challenges.
Dear Mr. Gray, This is pure gold. I need to listen to this again and take notes. I’m glad, Mr. Gray, that you are still around. Your ground breaking book back in the 90s is still a worthy read. Thank you for your generosity in producing these RUclips videos. Robyn
Thank you so much for clarifying male/female sides. I grew up in 50’s 60’s and I remember asking my Dad - if I’m on a bowling date with a guy, should I let him win? My Dad said NO if you think you can win DO IT. So yes, now I am understanding why I’m independent (male side) yet I truly love being my female side.
I find that I completely desire a man. It's almost desperate but not that I'll take any random man I can get. But I have a real need for a masculine man that slows me down from the demands of life. And allows me to move into more ease and is a wall around me for this. I need it now. I want it and I'm made for such a dynamic 💗
To all my beautiful daughters, you don't need a male to "complete" you, a male should COMPLEMENT you. this had an auto spell typo at first. However compliment works just as well too
Many women have come to The conclusion "Why do I need a man?" because men have disappointed them and didnt show up, so they hâd to build themselves up în any way by themselves because în most cases Men were not arooud needed (from fathers to husbands)
True, i havnt found answer to this as well. Even when a wife ask nicely that she need him to be there to accompany her with gardening together he is just not interested and off to nap instead. And many more small things ignored by him that forces her more and more independent
It’s a great idea to allow them to do things for you, but there are many men out there who really don’t want to do anything for a woman. They are simply selfish and will let the woman do everything for them while they kick back and chill or do their fun activities while you stay home with the children and have a meal ready for them when they get home. Ps. My second husband hated it whenever I spoke.
With these types of men, I would suggest not giving as much to them. Maybe say you were too tired to cook a homemade meal that night and gradually do less. Not as a punishment, but to convey that you need more for your tank to be full. In another video Dr. Gray talked about how these selfish types of men didn't see their fathers give much to their mothers and they had no one to role model a healthy relationship . Dr. Gray said that these men aren't in touch with their deeper needs to feel satisfied about causing happiness for a woman, so selfishness makes sense to them and feels good to them. If you help him to want to do more for you, you'll help him in actually being more fullfilled. The man will resist at first, but hopefully he'll feel the benefits and gradually change.
I live alone since my late husband passed in 2011. A man in the house makes me feel safer. Also, someone I'd be able to communicate with and share my life.
Well there's an over abundance of angry useless man children that resent strong independent women who live better without them out there... Who really has time or wants to play these games with a moron, c'mon! My life is great and I am not lacking men. I have em for every occasion, not lonely nor am I hormonally unbalanced, sorry not sorry. If I don't ever match with a healthy well rounded man I'm happy to pass on the weirdos and the games. Okay in all fairness these men need purpose given to them by some of us women because they'll just ended up addicted to porn and murdering prostitutes. Thank you ladies that are willing to self sacrifice for the safety & betterment of society🙏
THANK YOU...SOOO MUCH !!! I'M A 74 YR OLD FEMALE AND UNDERSTAND YOUR EXPLANATIONS OF ALL YOU STATED !!! I had a 20yr relationship and have been parted the last 5 yrs which hurt me deeply. To cut the story short...I made contact as I missed him soo much and his contact was forthwith. We are about to " clasp" together again realising we gave both missed each other. etc etc but with a "two way" togetherness!! (AUSTRALIA XOXO 🇦🇺 ♥)
💜hi, I'm with you with this. I'm 63yrs old and single again (widowed after 40yrs of marriage, and extremely naive of these new changes ),, and need someone that's intellect , well studied, just all that, For the right Advice . And here you are!, 😊 Also, my daughter is 33yrs old, and I want to understand about her and her generations feelings , how they see life, etc. . . . Out of love. I'm thinkin' ,, You are the one I need to learn from😘 Thank you! Already!!!
As a single mom, I do have my moments where I wish to have a partner to experience life with. After listening to this, I do realize that I took my independence too far in my past relationships. In fact, I took it as an insult when my ex fiance would insist on doing something around the house because I thought he assumed i didn't know what I was doing. At times, it seems he would get on my children's cases and competed for motherly attention. Perhaps if I'd allowed him to fulfill his masculine role, it wouldn't have come to him acting like i was his mommy.
I find this confusing. You need to be independent for a man to feel attracted to you but then you need him but not need him?? So like a fake need or act like you're pretending you need him? Because when I actually need him he says he's feeling in my being needy and don't want to be needy. It sounds like we need them to make them feel good but not actually needed ??
Great conversation, thank-you both. We are in a times where roles no longer indicate gender, but rather we are challenged to look at the essence of what it is to be a man or woman, and hormones are HUGE! Thank-you John for being the voice of reason/sanity and for all of your tireless research, and books. You have helped me so much in this crazy/ confusing world! Bless your work and your generous/brave spirit!
This past weekend, I had a professional trainer come to my hotel room, and it was just the two of us practicing ground fighting, fall breaks, take-downs, bearhugs, etc. It was incredible for me to have a 6'1", 240 lb gorgeous man all over me, BUT I never let it go further, even when he was on top of me on the bed. I quickly got out from under him. I have no idea if he wanted sex from me, but I'm so glad that nothing happened because I would've felt like a tramp. I am worth more than that. Yes, I am completely crushing over him, but I refuse to lower my worth over a beautiful man. (He could've also been a true professional and gentleman. I prefer to think of him this way.)
John Gray is speaking words refreshening like spring water in the desert, daring to say truths that are not currently mainstream. Thank you for the indirect teaching, explaining supporting and encouraging. Good to hear that the feminine man can give us what we need once hegets back in touch with his masculinity. About creating a number of positive dating experiences without thinking about The One, that is exactly what I realised I have to do to not be all conscious-nervous-measuring.
Your advice is great and absolutely correct. Quite awhile ago I read a saying that said I don't need a man in my life, but I WANT a man in my life. So I learned over time I don't need a man to make me happy, but I want a man in my life to compliment my life and add to it, and as this video said, to make me happier, not happy. Great advice. I find men really like women who are themselves and not trying to be someone they aren't.
Scarcity is my ammo. I create space for him to come to me. Until a man is emotionally attached. I will not get intimate with him. I do not care for casual sex.
Thank you! This was exactly the information I needed. I was afraid I was doing things in my relationship that weren’t moving it in the right direction. This will help me pinpoint behaviours and actions that add and subtract to the relationship. I also love how you mention hormones and state that there something we can do about them. I assumed that I would always be confused about them. However, this gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to master my emotions by taking actionable steps to help balance my hormones.
Yes, stand on her shoes..Listen to her...Respect her opinion....Help her to come to her female side...Yes, allow women to fully feel everything about them...Ask them how they feel at that moment...Validate their feelings...
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
These men don’t exist anymore. The internet and porn has ruined men wanting a meaningful relationship with women, period. Sorry women. The only way to change that is if women stop sleeping with men without a monogamous relationship. That’s it. Too many women jump in bed with men without it meaning anything, and if they don’t, men will find a few who will. I hope the next generation of women get to know men first as friends and hold off until both are in love, not in lust.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him...
Thank you Dr. Gray - you are such a sweetheart! The more I watch your videos, the more I understand that women's desires are waaaaay different than men's. Can't wait to read your books! Best form europe from a 33 y. old lady
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him..
You are amazing sir in putting practical aspects to the emotional aspects. I learnt so much today with this video and my experience with my partner who’s my soulmate who kindled my heart and feelings and we are not talking now due to some misunderstandings that occurred a year ago hurting each other very subtly. How crazy it is if I link all your talks to all my situations so far. And those beautiful moments spend together 🙏🏻💗 EDIT: Actually I was hesitant to put ‘spiritual aspect’ too along with emotional and practical in my above comment but then was hesitant thinking are the one who speaks only from practical grounds. But at the end of video what you mentioned’ your man is out there and universe will bless you’ it took my heart and mind I being more of a spiritual person and look at things more from that angle. Amazing video and advise from you to go with hand in hand with all aspects of life ! 💗 Thank you 🙏🏻
I've met a guy after four years single and in two months he has donemore for me than the ex in twelve years. No joking. I was in a turbulent moment and he was so present showing interest and actual helping me moving stuff having to travel to a village one hour from his... No rich, a guy who has to work hard, despite two children he doesn't allow me to pay for anything and is always worried about choosing right places to take me, I am vegan. I'm relaxed now but at the few first dates I didn't know what to do with his behavior, I dodnt know how to allow him to spoil me!
Thank you! These videos have helped me so much! I'm wondering if John does videos like this specifically for guys? I have a few male friends who are floundering in this area and could really use this information.
That letting myself feel the little things genuinely such good advice. I don’t like to complain but complaining about little things in the present seems like an amazing way to be present when I’m not feeling good! a lot of people talk about gratitude lists and positivity to be present- but that sometimes doesn’t help.
Thank you d-r GRAY. Your teachings are a big help for me, and for so many other people. For me personnally I learned and continue to lurn a lot. I have a guiding light with your teachings and I am not so scared any more. I am starting to understand myself more and the people around me. Your wisdom and experience are so needed. Thank you again. I become a better person and more aware. Words are not enough to express my gratitude. God bless you! I wish you all the best! Dimena from Bulgaria, 42 years old.
thankyou for helping me to deprogramme from the rot that is feminism. 48 years of age and a string of failed relationships. I want to get married so I am learning, society has screwed relationships up with porn and toxic ideologies
This is so true & refreshing to know! When a man truly likes you, he takes joy in doing anything he can to accommodate your desires! I was watching some old soaps from the 90’s and the men in those roles were so masculine in their pursuit of their love interests! They were very intentional and just the perfect gentlemen. Turns out the actors in these soaps had or currently are married for some long years in real life too! I’m glad I know these biological facts so I can continue to cultivate my feminine side & better position myself for these masculine men
I really loved this video. Dr. Gray explained things so well. Wow, so many truths here , I've really gotten so much from this and it also affirms myself as a woman. Thank you too Michelle. You also expressed yourself so beautifully and articulate, I was really impressed by the both of you. I do have a question. Dr. Gary is saying that women should express their annoyances and disappointments about the day so she can remain in her feminine self. But what about when her male partner makes her upset? In another video Dr. Gray said that men feel unsuccessful and their testosterone diminishes if a woman expresses her anger that he caused and that we should only "reward" him with praise. How do women reconcile these two?
It reminds me of Barbie and Ken. I've watched Life in the Dreamhouse while babysitting. Barbie had an issue and telephoned Ken. She said, "Ken I need you!". He said "I LIVE to hear those words!!" Barbie is confident and does her thing; truly doesn't need Ken at all. But he's always there willing and wanting to help. A lot of times she can do it herself, but she takes advantage of Ken's help so she can focus her energy elsewhere.
Wow! He is so insightful and is helping me understand so much about how to relate to men, and present oneself to a man so as to explain to him his value for me and not dissuade him from wanting to know more about me. I'm feeling so grateful for this clarity, it's so complicated and rconfusing since men and women get attracted by such different things.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
John youre amazing wow , wish I had listened more than 20 years ago! I find men are confused too … they dont know masculine and fem. they want freedom and to be needed then be needed they want their freedom they want us to need them them we are needy we pull back they want us to need him! I mean its a mess just a big confusing mess and its no wonder why people give up! Dont give up , but i understand why!
Ive been in my masculine for a long time as a widow bc I had to take care of my family, however I figured out how to be in my feminine through my career as an esthetician working in the beauty industry.
So funny about the driving thing Michelle mentioned. I am a single mom of two and I always have to drive since my kids are young and don't have their licenses yet. I haven't dated in a while, but recently met a man I really like and it's so funny because one of the things that immediately made me feel very womanly (and like I was dating a man), was that he likes to drive and I love just relaxing in the passenger seat, watching the scenery.
I really like your video, as it pointed out nowadays woman’s mentality is so strong and we ignored our female side, we do need a man in our life to just make up happier. Not to make up happy.
He is adding something that is useful to you is very attractive thing for her..yes, it shows that he has a meaning in your life.. He is a resource to you. You can be a resource to him in many ways as well.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
I love how he describes a what a healthy man is all about. Unhealthy men are in self protection mode, and they are not wanting to be a tool for his woman, or do things to make her happy.
I went on a coffee date. I felt the guy was a possibility and was very keen on me and let me know. I said id loke to see him again but I play it cool. I think he can't handle it as obviously needs to be reassured, encouraged and his ego stroked. No way. I do that for men I'm invested in only, who have earned it. I don't like it that modern men behave too effeminately and expect US to do the chasing and need a woman to throw themselves at them. No thanks.
I have a question on men going into retirement. I’ve seen family members suffering from sudden transformation of retirement - what is the logical solution for the male energy for when they suddenly go from a super high powered career towards a life of leisure please? I’d like to prepare as a partner. I lead a blissful busy life and not heading into retirement so I’d like to be better prepared about the other side of things.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
Exactly, neediness is horrible. I am not a needy woman, I always busy to do many things everyday. I have a daughter that I choose to give attention every single minutes.
Men have big egos !! I get what John is saying but we don't have to go around being happy all the time, sometimes men can do things that make us unhappy and we don't need to pretend we are happy during those times!
Wonderful video! So refreshing to see this kind of insight and advice in a world full of “Men and Women are, feel and think the same= we should act the same advice.. Even advice on How to get women to chase/ pursue men. 😵💫 This generation has also been influenced by a lot of single mothers. So little girls being raised by strong, independent, successful women (which is great) but very masculine dominant. And little boys being raised by single mothers and sometimes lacking a Father role model.. I grew up as a little girl being very Brave, Independent, self sufficient, strong and action oriented, thinking that vulnerability was weakness.. So for a lot of young women now our femininity feels natural and good but uncomfortable and foreign..
Dr Gray you're so good. I really enjoy listening do I have learned so much . After 65 years I found an old childhood friend he happens to be single.. we are reconnecting nothing romantic. I'm using these phrases and what I've learned from your books. Wow this is great
The problem is if you are accustomed to living alone you become very self reliant and are naturally in your masculine energy and perhaps these are the signals you are sending out unconsciously (without being aware of it).
@@gilliankingston8259 suppose we all have things to work on. But understanding the expectations (men want a woman to be feminine) enables a genuine connection. If she doesn't want to be feminine, that's ok, she probably won't end up with what she truly desires unless it's a lap dog...and if that's the case a chiwawa is much cheaper and easier to train.
@@gilliankingston8259 I have been single for just over 22 years now and have had to "do everything myself", but I also had a lot of trauma that drove me to be on my own. I am a tomboy anyway, but also felt as though if someone offered something for free that I owed them something in return. It's fine to be in the masculine energy, but when around men it's good for the feminine side to come out in little ways. Even recognising the one little thing they do (when you are doing 100 things) will help them to feel needed. Michelle once talked about "hubby points" which made me smile - "oo, that's two points right there". They will want to earn more points even if you don't state what the points are for. Have fun with it (and I will do the same too!!) Xx
I love listening to this. Hits true every time. I went along time not needing companionship and now that something has shifted, I crave it and when I receive it I just melt into the energy however when I don't receive this and the guy pulls away due to busy, kids etc etc, I feel awful. I am not talking about sex either, just total enjoyment of two beautiful people who's heart souls feel synced.
@@osirusj275 I think a woman should go back into her more masculine self and do like Dr. Gray says...to nurture her own feminine self during those times...do what made her happy without him. Men need to pull away in order to boost their testosterone and be able to give to a woman again. To expect him to nurture her constantly is unrealistic and unfair to the man because he's going against his own needs. If the man is so unhealthy that his pulling away is for too long or destructive, she'll need to decide to either adjust to him or find someone that's a better match.
I’m no damsel in distress but I think that the aggressiveness of women today have made men a little lax. I think it’s intimidated them a little bit. I think it’s forced them to sit back and wait and question their actions and it’s made them a bit insecure. Maybe I am old school but I’m from the generation of men do the pursuing and women do the choosing. I’m 55 years old and was widowed at 46. I was married for 15 years. When I reentered the dating arena to try to find some companionship I was pretty much appalled at what had happened. I think between technology and the overly aggressiveness of women has created some confusion between the sexes. I think media, movies and TV has contributed to the confusion. I can’t tell you how many movies and television shows I’ve seen where women are shoving men up against the wall and yanking up their skirts and initiating sex. I think it’s clouded the waters and men don’t know what to do. Or perhaps that aggressiveness with the women has men just sitting back and waiting and not making much of an effort. The dating arena has been a big disappointment for me. It’s also saddened me. However - I can look back at my 15 year marriage and I am extremely thankful that I found genuine love at least once in my lifetime. Some people go through their entire life and they never get to experience it. I love this channel! I’ve learned a lot from the material and I thank you!
Your book Men are from Mars and women are from venus and why men don't listen and why women can't reverse by Allan and Barbara Peace really helped me in my relationship years back. Thank you.
Get John Gray's complimentary relationship course here: www.marsvenus.com/
& FREE 10 Secrets About Men (Every Woman Needs To Know) Here: whatrealmenwant.com/
How. Do I. Get
Complementary book
I truly miss my father. He was to me the ultimate masculine man! He did not have a female side in the least or an emotional side, however he had so much room for emotion. And, he made me happy! If I had a desire, he made it a reality. He was my hero. And there was an odd mix of reverence and respect of him. I knew I was safe in the world. And his presence made it clear that I was! Nobody messed with me when he was around and I loved it💗
Oh my lord thats my true story, can relate to that. may we feel that secure soon
@@southernbmw4570 I love that someone can relate thanks so much for sharing 🤗
Me too👍👍. What happened to masculine men?
@@roxiecariere5713 it's a deep subject but this man if you're hitting on it. The more pushy women get though the more men seem to crawl in their holes. Sad
My Dad was my hero. Still haven't met a man that could shine his shoes. Not a perfect man but to me, he walked on water. I know there's someone out there for me Chapter 2.
What makes a man fall in love with the woman is just the man being a real man and having morals and class
On point!!
very true! with all psychological study
have some values then there u go
Your name.!! 🤣
Traditional Values. Which probably is an aspect of morals. I always say, values, morals and manners
And a woman who makes it easy for him to love! It takes 2
The best relationship I ever had was when I wasn't really looking, but it happened so naturally and was so easy because we were mentally, physically, and emotionally compatible. I miss that.
If you have to work to make a man fall in love with you, he’s probably not the right man.
@@kristin1533 You may be right. I was working hard to a man once i called fiance, and willing to do anything to make him stay. It wasn't right. In the end i understand, it wasn't love i had for him, but an obsession.
yeah i like it to happen naturally, doesn't mean i won't gaze more and try to look good when i go out lol but i don't want anything to feel forced right because then its almost like you're projecting your feelings or convincing yourself you found a right mate etc.
It sounds like a great relationship what happened to it?
@@leahflower9924 Exactly
My soft feminine side only comes out when my hormones are high, close to my cycle. Am always on the masculine side because of being a single parent and independent.
Single person and single child/\PL
That’s actually when your hormones are at their lowest - your oestrogen is next to zero as you approach and go into menastrating. They’re at the highest when you ovulate which is typically about a week after you stop bleeding.
To me you sound like a very strong woman ❤️ Allow yourself to have some time for yourself. I can recommend be with your senses and stimulate them, such as a warm bath or foot bath with some essential oils in it or a nice soap ypu like the smell of. A nice bodylotion could it be as well. Or something nice for your taste buds. Or invest and buy some nice clothes/underwear.
Small things for ourselves plays a huge part of our self care.
Love yourself first, than your right person will love you the way you wish to be loved.
Before finishing watching this, I was already tearful. As a woman, I have my very strong female side hidden inside me, though I’ve been doing almost everything on my own due to circumstances and pretty bad luck, whether it being academic study, jobs, looking after my child, looking after the house or some repairing maintenance work and heavy lifting that is usually done by men. It’s so true that a real woman needs a man who can and is prepared to provide, though these day many of us women have been working so hard to do not only all a female is expected to but also many other things that many or most other women don’t. Where are the muscular hero type of men then? It is so nice to be driven by a man than driving all the time myself. Yet I seem to only come across men needing me to provide (a roof, food, monetary contribution etc.)as if I were a man. There must be something wrong with those men in their Hormons and upbringing.
I feel your pain deeply. My advice would be to reignite your feminine energy! You can begin by speaking softer and slower. That alone is very powerful to set you apart from most (masculine) women almost immediately. Have a soft, feminine disposition about yourself and just lean back from survival mode. It seems almost as soon as I began making this transition to my more feminine side, I began receiving help from the most masculine men no strings attached. I actually became a real life damsel in distress but I was rescued by a real life hero! Just allow yourself to be and also know that you can’t do it all. God will send angels/heros to take care of the rest! ❤
@@jasminealexial say, just be your authentic self, and eventually, the right man will come along and accept all of you, the feminine side of you, and the masculine side of you. I will not be anything other than myself to get a man.
You have to train them if they are not trained already. Do not enable them.
So glad you hit on the #1 "A man wants to feel needed". Great piece of advice.
Absolutely!!!!!
Yes!
interesting so, what would you consider as "needy" vs she needing you?
"honey I'm a tool just use me" lol 😄
@@ms.miller9580 Aááa
Wow!!
from both a masculine & feminine standpoint, this talk was just 1000% on point ✅
THAT'S WHY GUY MEN MAKE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS FOR THE FEMALES
His book "Men are from mars .. " years ago was a bible in itself. It explained the mindset and behaviour of both men and women so well with the sole aim to comprehend the differences between the sexes.
Today I see love and dating coaches teach shallow, manipulative, calculating behaviour and try and make people be somebody they are not just to draw men.
John Grey truly makes sense and has an indepth understanding of men and women.
We weren't told to step in and have power. We wanted to be recognized as equal beings and not only housewives. So, we've done it as it was the only option to get recognized and now we can relax and fully embrace our femininity together with having masculine skills to navigate through this world's challenges.
Dear Mr. Gray,
This is pure gold. I need to listen to this again and take notes. I’m glad, Mr. Gray, that you are still around. Your ground breaking book back in the 90s is still a worthy read. Thank you for your generosity in producing these RUclips videos.
Robyn
Every man and woman should watch this.
Thank you so much for clarifying male/female sides. I grew up in 50’s 60’s and I remember asking my Dad - if I’m on a bowling date with a guy, should I let him win? My Dad said NO if you think you can win DO IT. So yes, now I am understanding why I’m independent (male side) yet I truly love being my female side.
that's fine just don't beat them at a game of pool they don't like that lol
@@leahflower9924 LOL Thanks for letting me know! 🤣
you need to be loved by those who love you when feeling the lowest as well
What a pleasure listening to John, very knowledgeable, thank you John Gray
I find that I completely desire a man. It's almost desperate but not that I'll take any random man I can get. But I have a real need for a masculine man that slows me down from the demands of life. And allows me to move into more ease and is a wall around me for this. I need it now. I want it and I'm made for such a dynamic 💗
To all my beautiful daughters, you don't need a male to "complete" you, a male should COMPLEMENT you. this had an auto spell typo at first. However compliment works just as well too
Compliment and complement 🤗
@@lsp2490 fucking auto spell. But hey, that one works too
If all a male does is compliment you, it means almost nothing, girls get compliments all the time, guys get none lmao
@@C4l3bphts that was a auto spell typo COMPLEMENT. And as for the other a real man doesn't fvcking need one
BINGO, complementing your significant other is what EVERYONE needs to learn.
Many women have come to The conclusion "Why do I need a man?" because men have disappointed them and didnt show up, so they hâd to build themselves up în any way by themselves because în most cases Men were not arooud needed (from fathers to husbands)
True, i havnt found answer to this as well. Even when a wife ask nicely that she need him to be there to accompany her with gardening together he is just not interested and off to nap instead. And many more small things ignored by him that forces her more and more independent
It’s a great idea to allow them to do things for you, but there are many men out there who really don’t want to do anything for a woman. They are simply selfish and will let the woman do everything for them while they kick back and chill or do their fun activities while you stay home with the children and have a meal ready for them when they get home. Ps. My second husband hated it whenever I spoke.
With these types of men, I would suggest not giving as much to them. Maybe say you were too tired to cook a homemade meal that night and gradually do less. Not as a punishment, but to convey that you need more for your tank to be full. In another video Dr. Gray talked about how these selfish types of men didn't see their fathers give much to their mothers and they had no one to role model a healthy relationship . Dr. Gray said that these men aren't in touch with their deeper needs to feel satisfied about causing happiness for a woman, so selfishness makes sense to them and feels good to them. If you help him to want to do more for you, you'll help him in actually being more fullfilled. The man will resist at first, but hopefully he'll feel the benefits and gradually change.
Leave,simple
I live alone since my late husband passed in 2011. A man in the house makes me feel safer. Also, someone I'd be able to communicate with and share my life.
MB: Mean Dog you can get?
It's overwhelming and ridiculous how much reassurance they need! It's overboard!
“You just have to be yourself and use him!” That’s about to be my dating mantra! Lol
🤣🤣🤣
It's not easy but man, it works!😳🤣
"Use a man to be happy" will be mine too 😁
I always used to do it backwards
But, already I have used 5 of the suggestions and those men get hooked fast
Well there's an over abundance of angry useless man children that resent strong independent women who live better without them out there... Who really has time or wants to play these games with a moron, c'mon! My life is great and I am not lacking men. I have em for every occasion, not lonely nor am I hormonally unbalanced, sorry not sorry. If I don't ever match with a healthy well rounded man I'm happy to pass on the weirdos and the games.
Okay in all fairness these men need purpose given to them by some of us women because they'll just ended up addicted to porn and murdering prostitutes. Thank you ladies that are willing to self sacrifice for the safety & betterment of society🙏
Femininity is not weakness. Exactly.
THIS MAN HAS WISDOM. Alhamdulilah for finding this content ...يا رب أعني ولا تكلني إلى نفسي طرفة عين
THANK YOU...SOOO MUCH !!! I'M A 74 YR OLD FEMALE AND UNDERSTAND YOUR EXPLANATIONS OF ALL YOU STATED !!! I had a 20yr relationship and have been parted the last 5 yrs which hurt me deeply. To cut the story short...I made contact as I missed him soo much and his contact was forthwith. We are about to " clasp" together again realising we gave both missed each other. etc etc but with a "two way" togetherness!! (AUSTRALIA XOXO 🇦🇺 ♥)
💜hi,
I'm with you with this.
I'm 63yrs old and single again (widowed after 40yrs of marriage, and extremely naive of these new changes ),, and need someone that's intellect , well studied, just all that, For the right Advice .
And here you are!, 😊
Also, my daughter is 33yrs old, and I want to understand about her and her generations feelings , how they see life, etc. . . .
Out of love.
I'm thinkin' ,,
You are the one I need to learn from😘
Thank you!
Already!!!
Thanks for this amazing advice. So happy by myself now but know he is on the way.
As a single mom, I do have my moments where I wish to have a partner to experience life with. After listening to this, I do realize that I took my independence too far in my past relationships. In fact, I took it as an insult when my ex fiance would insist on doing something around the house because I thought he assumed i didn't know what I was doing. At times, it seems he would get on my children's cases and competed for motherly attention. Perhaps if I'd allowed him to fulfill his masculine role, it wouldn't have come to him acting like i was his mommy.
I find this confusing. You need to be independent for a man to feel attracted to you but then you need him but not need him?? So like a fake need or act like you're pretending you need him? Because when I actually need him he says he's feeling in my being needy and don't want to be needy. It sounds like we need them to make them feel good but not actually needed ??
Great conversation, thank-you both. We are in a times where roles no longer indicate gender, but rather we are challenged to look at the essence of what it is to be a man or woman, and hormones are HUGE! Thank-you John for being the voice of reason/sanity and for all of your tireless research, and books. You have helped me so much in this crazy/ confusing world! Bless your work and your generous/brave spirit!
This past weekend, I had a professional trainer come to my hotel room, and it was just the two of us practicing ground fighting, fall breaks, take-downs, bearhugs, etc. It was incredible for me to have a 6'1", 240 lb gorgeous man all over me, BUT I never let it go further, even when he was on top of me on the bed. I quickly got out from under him. I have no idea if he wanted sex from me, but I'm so glad that nothing happened because I would've felt like a tramp. I am worth more than that. Yes, I am completely crushing over him, but I refuse to lower my worth over a beautiful man. (He could've also been a true professional and gentleman. I prefer to think of him this way.)
Probably the best video I’ve watched regarding relationships. Thank you John & Michelle ❤️
John Gray is speaking words refreshening like spring water in the desert, daring to say truths that are not currently mainstream. Thank you for the indirect teaching, explaining supporting and encouraging. Good to hear that the feminine man can give us what we need once hegets back in touch with his masculinity.
About creating a number of positive dating experiences without thinking about The One, that is exactly what I realised I have to do to not be all conscious-nervous-measuring.
Your advice is great and absolutely correct. Quite awhile ago I read a saying that said I don't need a man in my life, but I WANT a man in my life. So I learned over time I don't need a man to make me happy, but I want a man in my life to compliment my life and add to it, and as this video said, to make me happier, not happy. Great advice. I find men really like women who are themselves and not trying to be someone they aren't.
same here, i go through times where i don't want anyone but when i do feel like i want someone i feel more human
I regret that it's taken me this long to finally listen to this valuable insight. Thank you Mr. Gray. You are a treasure. :)
Scarcity is my ammo. I create space for him to come to me. Until a man is emotionally attached. I will not get intimate with him. I do not care for casual sex.
Thank you! This was exactly the information I needed. I was afraid I was doing things in my relationship that weren’t moving it in the right direction. This will help me pinpoint behaviours and actions that add and subtract to the relationship. I also love how you mention hormones and state that there something we can do about them. I assumed that I would always be confused about them. However, this gives me hope that one day I’ll be able to master my emotions by taking actionable steps to help balance my hormones.
Yes, stand on her shoes..Listen to her...Respect her opinion....Help her to come to her female side...Yes, allow women to fully feel everything about them...Ask them how they feel at that moment...Validate their feelings...
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
I have seen many video of John, but in this one, he looks particularly attractive. I can see his capacity to love a woman.
These men don’t exist anymore. The internet and porn has ruined men wanting a meaningful relationship with women, period. Sorry women. The only way to change that is if women stop sleeping with men without a monogamous relationship. That’s it. Too many women jump in bed with men without it meaning anything, and if they don’t, men will find a few who will. I hope the next generation of women get to know men first as friends and hold off until both are in love, not in lust.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him...
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
十12139298312⏭⏭⏭_ ^_!!!!!!!!!!!??????????
Thank you Dr. Gray - you are such a sweetheart! The more I watch your videos, the more I understand that women's desires are waaaaay different than men's. Can't wait to read your books! Best form europe from a 33 y. old lady
Excellent advice. So precious.
30:30 the difference between need and needy
Need: love; important
Needy: I needed you and you weren’t there
And thank you Michelle for this interview and so many others, particularly d-r John GRAY's interviews.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him..
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^..
十12139298312⏭⏭⏭_ ^_!!!!!!!!!!!??????????
You are amazing sir in putting practical aspects to the emotional aspects. I learnt so much today with this video and my experience with my partner who’s my soulmate who kindled my heart and feelings and we are not talking now due to some misunderstandings that occurred a year ago hurting each other very subtly. How crazy it is if I link all your talks to all my situations so far. And those beautiful moments spend together 🙏🏻💗
EDIT: Actually I was hesitant to put ‘spiritual aspect’ too along with emotional and practical in my above comment but then was hesitant thinking are the one who speaks only from practical grounds. But at the end of video what you mentioned’ your man is out there and universe will bless you’ it took my heart and mind I being more of a spiritual person and look at things more from that angle. Amazing video and advise from you to go with hand in hand with all aspects of life ! 💗 Thank you 🙏🏻
Mr Gray appreciate the words of wisdom. God bless.
I've met a guy after four years single and in two months he has donemore for me than the ex in twelve years. No joking. I was in a turbulent moment and he was so present showing interest and actual helping me moving stuff having to travel to a village one hour from his... No rich, a guy who has to work hard, despite two children he doesn't allow me to pay for anything and is always worried about choosing right places to take me, I am vegan. I'm relaxed now but at the few first dates I didn't know what to do with his behavior, I dodnt know how to allow him to spoil me!
This is SUCH an essential video I'm definitely sharing it with so many of my friends!
Yay! Thank you!
Thank you! These videos have helped me so much!
I'm wondering if John does videos like this specifically for guys? I have a few male friends who are floundering in this area and could really use this information.
That letting myself feel the little things genuinely such good advice. I don’t like to complain but complaining about little things in the present seems like an amazing way to be present when I’m not feeling good! a lot of people talk about gratitude lists and positivity to be present- but that sometimes doesn’t help.
Thank you d-r GRAY. Your teachings are a big help for me, and for so many other people. For me personnally I learned and continue to lurn a lot. I have a guiding light with your teachings and I am not so scared any more. I am starting to understand myself more and the people around me. Your wisdom and experience are so needed. Thank you again. I become a better person and more aware. Words are not enough to express my gratitude. God bless you! I wish you all the best!
Dimena from Bulgaria, 42 years old.
This really helped clarify the hurdles… Thank You Dr. Gray.
thankyou for helping me to deprogramme from the rot that is feminism. 48 years of age and a string of failed relationships. I want to get married so I am learning, society has screwed relationships up with porn and toxic ideologies
This is so true & refreshing to know! When a man truly likes you, he takes joy in doing anything he can to accommodate your desires! I was watching some old soaps from the 90’s and the men in those roles were so masculine in their pursuit of their love interests! They were very intentional and just the perfect gentlemen. Turns out the actors in these soaps had or currently are married for some long years in real life too! I’m glad I know these biological facts so I can continue to cultivate my feminine side & better position myself for these masculine men
What do i need a man for if they hurt me on purpose and not feeling remorse. I can earn money love myself. Focus on God and love myself
You may not "need" a man that hurts you, but I bet if you had a man that "desired" you and didn't hurt you you would find you needed him.
Oh my goodness, this is mindblowing information. I'm learning so much about myself!!!! Thank you thank you thank you.
A man has the power to take you higher, BUT NOT TO LIFT YOU UP.
Yes, this is everything about men and women.
The basics.
So simple.
Thank you.
I learned a lot and will have a better relationship .
I am happy and will be happier!
Happy to hear that! Thanks for watching!
I really appreciate the coaching of Dr. John ❤
I really loved this video. Dr. Gray explained things so well. Wow, so many truths here , I've really gotten so much from this and it also affirms myself as a woman. Thank you too Michelle. You also expressed yourself so beautifully and articulate, I was really impressed by the both of you.
I do have a question. Dr. Gary is saying that women should express their annoyances and disappointments about the day so she can remain in her feminine self. But what about when her male partner makes her upset? In another video Dr. Gray said that men feel unsuccessful and their testosterone diminishes if a woman expresses her anger that he caused and that we should only "reward" him with praise. How do women reconcile these two?
Great talk John I enjoyed it very much very informated
Breath of fresh air! This was amazing.
Validation doesnt mean you agree..you can buffer it like you say ..and then share ur thoughts
People have to build each other up not to each other down.
It reminds me of Barbie and Ken. I've watched Life in the Dreamhouse while babysitting. Barbie had an issue and telephoned Ken. She said, "Ken I need you!". He said "I LIVE to hear those words!!" Barbie is confident and does her thing; truly doesn't need Ken at all. But he's always there willing and wanting to help. A lot of times she can do it herself, but she takes advantage of Ken's help so she can focus her energy elsewhere.
Wow! He is so insightful and is helping me understand so much about how to relate to men, and present oneself to a man so as to explain to him his value for me and not dissuade him from wanting to know more about me. I'm feeling so grateful for this clarity, it's so complicated and rconfusing since men and women get attracted by such different things.
I have read all your books. Excellent work. I pray for you John. Alot.
Never give the batten to anyone to make you happy or sad. Thats your job. 🙏
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
John youre amazing wow , wish I had listened more than 20 years ago! I find men are confused too … they dont know masculine and fem. they want freedom and to be needed then be needed they want their freedom they want us to need them them we are needy we pull back they want us to need him! I mean its a mess just a big confusing mess and its no wonder why people give up!
Dont give up , but i understand why!
Ive been in my masculine for a long time as a widow bc I had to take care of my family, however I figured out how to be in my feminine through my career as an esthetician working in the beauty industry.
So funny about the driving thing Michelle mentioned. I am a single mom of two and I always have to drive since my kids are young and don't have their licenses yet. I haven't dated in a while, but recently met a man I really like and it's so funny because one of the things that immediately made me feel very womanly (and like I was dating a man), was that he likes to drive and I love just relaxing in the passenger seat, watching the scenery.
I really like your video, as it pointed out nowadays woman’s mentality is so strong and we ignored our female side, we do need a man in our life to just make up happier. Not to make up happy.
He is adding something that is useful to you is very attractive thing for her..yes, it shows that he has a meaning in your life.. He is a resource to you. You can be a resource to him in many ways as well.
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
十12139298312⏭⏭⏭_ ^_!!!!!!!!!!!??????????
十12139298312⏭⏭⏭_ ^_!!!!!!!!!!!????????????
I’m watching this videos to figure out why my husband fell in love with me 😂
I love how he describes a what a healthy man is all about. Unhealthy men are in self protection mode, and they are not wanting to be a tool for his woman, or do things to make her happy.
Jesus the source of your happiness.
I went on a coffee date. I felt the guy was a possibility and was very keen on me and let me know. I said id loke to see him again but I play it cool. I think he can't handle it as obviously needs to be reassured, encouraged and his ego stroked. No way. I do that for men I'm invested in only, who have earned it.
I don't like it that modern men behave too effeminately and expect US to do the chasing and need a woman to throw themselves at them. No thanks.
I had his book twice. Loaned it out twice never got them back. 🙄
Are you listening ex sister in law. Ex neighbour ??? 😆
This was so helpful, thank you.
I have a question on men going into retirement. I’ve seen family members suffering from sudden transformation of retirement - what is the logical solution for the male energy for when they suddenly go from a super high powered career towards a life of leisure please? I’d like to prepare as a partner. I lead a blissful busy life and not heading into retirement so I’d like to be better prepared about the other side of things.
God Bless John Gray. Such a beautiful and wise man.❤
Dr Kelly Love Spells can make your ex come back to you begging you for a second chance. He helped me restored my broken relationship of 6 years by bringing back my ex Also Dr Kelly always keep up with his words I strongly advise you to seek help from him.
Whats@app him now^_^^_^^_^
Exactly, neediness is horrible. I am not a needy woman, I always busy to do many things everyday. I have a daughter that I choose to give attention every single minutes.
Men have big egos !! I get what John is saying but we don't have to go around being happy all the time, sometimes men can do things that make us unhappy and we don't need to pretend we are happy during those times!
Also, often men who want you to be happy and positive all the time cannot handle emotions.
Wonderful video! So refreshing to see this kind of insight and advice in a world full of “Men and Women are, feel and think the same= we should act the same advice.. Even advice on How to get women to chase/ pursue men. 😵💫
This generation has also been influenced by a lot of single mothers. So little girls being raised by strong, independent, successful women (which is great) but very masculine dominant. And little boys being raised by single mothers and sometimes lacking a Father role model..
I grew up as a little girl being very Brave, Independent, self sufficient, strong and action oriented, thinking that vulnerability was weakness.. So for a lot of young women now our femininity feels natural and good but uncomfortable and foreign..
Wonderful! Thoughtful and provocative! I love you John!
Michelle, deeply grateful for your outreach and many blessings to you on your journey❤️
I bet the feminist are pulling their hair out over what you’re saying. I agree with everything you’re saying. I love your informational videos.
Dr Gray you're so good. I really enjoy listening do I have learned so much . After 65 years I found an old childhood friend he happens to be single.. we are reconnecting nothing romantic. I'm using these phrases and what I've learned from your books. Wow this is great
This is GOLD! LOVE this!!!!♥️🙏🏽
Women ... need to be FEMININE first and foremost. That is what's most attractive to men.
The problem is if you are accustomed to living alone you become very self reliant and are naturally in your masculine energy and perhaps these are the signals you are sending out unconsciously (without being aware of it).
@@gilliankingston8259 suppose we all have things to work on. But understanding the expectations (men want a woman to be feminine) enables a genuine connection. If she doesn't want to be feminine, that's ok, she probably won't end up with what she truly desires unless it's a lap dog...and if that's the case a chiwawa is much cheaper and easier to train.
@@gilliankingston8259 I have been single for just over 22 years now and have had to "do everything myself", but I also had a lot of trauma that drove me to be on my own. I am a tomboy anyway, but also felt as though if someone offered something for free that I owed them something in return. It's fine to be in the masculine energy, but when around men it's good for the feminine side to come out in little ways. Even recognising the one little thing they do (when you are doing 100 things) will help them to feel needed. Michelle once talked about "hubby points" which made me smile - "oo, that's two points right there". They will want to earn more points even if you don't state what the points are for. Have fun with it (and I will do the same too!!) Xx
I love listening to this. Hits true every time. I went along time not needing companionship and now that something has shifted, I crave it and when I receive it I just melt into the energy however when I don't receive this and the guy pulls away due to busy, kids etc etc, I feel awful. I am not talking about sex either, just total enjoyment of two beautiful people who's heart souls feel synced.
so what do you do when you dont get what you need?
@@osirusj275 I think a woman should go back into her more masculine self and do like Dr. Gray says...to nurture her own feminine self during those times...do what made her happy without him. Men need to pull away in order to boost their testosterone and be able to give to a woman again. To expect him to nurture her constantly is unrealistic and unfair to the man because he's going against his own needs. If the man is so unhealthy that his pulling away is for too long or destructive, she'll need to decide to either adjust to him or find someone that's a better match.
So informative. Will watch again.
Thank you!
John is describing most guys now in California. Whiney, sensitive, hyper critical and needy. So glad to be back on Florida's east coast!
Awesome message from you both thanks so much love you both you're both amazing
I like you...
AND
The lady I heard in the background.
Thank you 🙏🏾
Brilliant interview. Well done.
Thank you you’re genius ! So much value and great information in this video. Thank you thank you thank you
I’m no damsel in distress but I think that the aggressiveness of women today have made men a little lax. I think it’s intimidated them a little bit. I think it’s forced them to sit back and wait and question their actions and it’s made them a bit insecure. Maybe I am old school but I’m from the generation of men do the pursuing and women do the choosing. I’m 55 years old and was widowed at 46. I was married for 15 years. When I reentered the dating arena to try to find some companionship I was pretty much appalled at what had happened. I think between technology and the overly aggressiveness of women has created some confusion between the sexes. I think media, movies and TV has contributed to the confusion. I can’t tell you how many movies and television shows I’ve seen where women are shoving men up against the wall and yanking up their skirts and initiating sex. I think it’s clouded the waters and men don’t know what to do. Or perhaps that aggressiveness with the women has men just sitting back and waiting and not making much of an effort. The dating arena has been a big disappointment for me. It’s also saddened me. However - I can look back at my 15 year marriage and I am extremely thankful that I found genuine love at least once in my lifetime. Some people go through their entire life and they never get to experience it. I love this channel! I’ve learned a lot from the material and I thank you!
Perfect! All these videos are so educational. Always learn new things... 🖤
Great video....perfect timing
Your book Men are from Mars and women are from venus and why men don't listen and why women can't reverse by Allan and Barbara Peace really helped me in my relationship years back. Thank you.