@@mistol2130 I've imagined this scenario over a thousand times in my head with my own parents and I can't think of anything else that would happen. Its always a condescending remark or some dumb comment with them.
Hey there. I'm sorry that your parents have wounded you this deeply. Just know they had to do that to you because that's how they feel about themselves deep down. It doesn't mean that it truly reflects who you are. You are much greater(and stronger) than both your parents family and yourself think. Much love my friend. Love and be kind to yourself.
Do not be around them if they treat you this way. I no longer speak to my parents. Your self esteem will only get better when you keep a distance. Of course they will probably try to come back later to try to destroy your progress in self esteem, but just expect that and try to stay strong regardless. I know its hard. Good luck P.S. Try to keep it civil if you can just because it will make you feel better, but don't be afraid to say no and set boundaries and be ready to be distant again if you accidentally let them in again.
Is there any possible way you could sever ties and get away from them because if yes, you would heal and you would realize that there’s nothing wrong with your mental health. They are creating all of what you’re feeling. They are putting your mental health in jeopardy. I know that’s so hard to believe because when I got into counseling, my therapist told me this too but I was convinced I was the problem. They are so good at gaslighting and brainwashing and treating you like dirt that you’ve come to believe the things that they have said are true but the reality is they are miserable, unhappy people and there is a light in you that causes them to see the demons within themselves. For that, they despise you and want to break you down in order to make themselves feel better. If 6 people in a group are all broke and on drugs and one breaks free and becomes the equivalent of let’s say Taylor Swift do you think the remaining group will be happy for her and like her and support her. No because looking at her will remind them that they all started on the same level so why her and not them. They will want to do everything they can to destroy her because that’s the only way they can then make themselves not look so bad. You have a gift, the gift of kindness and empathy and normalcy and your family doesn’t have any of those qualities and that is why they treat you so badly. If you could get away and sever all ties, no phone calls no emails no communication at all, I promise you, in time you will see things as they are. ❤ I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I have been in your shoes. I spent a good five years living in a fog of accusations, gaslighting and projections and stonewalling and the silent treatment not understanding at all what was happening and it was horrible. My therapist saved my life. The funny thing is I actually went to therapy to get on medication because I believed my family. I believed I was the problem because they loved me or so I thought so why would they be telling me these things if they weren’t true. It was my therapist who said they are all sociopathic alcoholic losers and you have got to get away from them so just because these people are your family doesn’t make them healthy or correct in the things they are saying to you. Trust your instincts and know that you are the healthy one which is why they gang up on you.
As a scapegoat daughter of two malignant narcissists, Mike let me encourage you. Why are you picked for abominable abuse? It's actually a compliment. Do I sound insane? Here are the actual traits of scapegoats. In my research I have found three so far. 1. They are the most gifted and talented, which triggers the narcissists low self-esteem, and they hate you for making them feel inadequate (Even though you are not doing ANYTHING. You are just being you.) 2. You are the truth teller. (They have lived in denial since birth and are enraged that you won't play fantasyland with them). 3. You are the gentlest, kindest, and most empathic of the bunch. (The narcissist misinterprets this as you are a sniveling weakling to be despised and destroyed. They have the added benefit of getting drunk on the power of hurting you). It's all lies and bullshit. Don't believe them and get away from them PERMANENTLY. Just the fact you are targeted for constant diminishing and attack tells me you HAVE to be a very good person, because this is their MO. Good, kind, gifted, caring people threaten the narcissist.
Do you have siblings? What is your relationship like with the rest of your family? Do you think NPD started with your parents or do you think it’s a generational affliction in your family?
Thanks head on a week a go I’ve discovered theres been a covert flying monkey straddling the fence and this person to come out has suspiciously been in my life for more then seven years, mid way our friendship, I noticed some strange signs of them , casting over me to frustrate me and as I further experienced it. It became more detectable between then and now I’ve had a couple of trips. But now its been embedded and I woke up one day, distinguished why my spirit was being dragged because it was off “ my spirit” . Then I leveled up obtained 4 degrees one to phase out third inchoate indifference towards me when channeling it through communication. Which they would always try to make me seem disillusioned and incompetent even juvenile. “This one sign seen through their flying monkey their gratification of frustrating people. “ But anyway now I have pure reception of the triggers used and who because of this awkward vibe , the funny thing is I always new this and wanted to silent hatch this out luckily I did with less physical confrontation. Yo stay alert and kind to yourself, great points
Some people Will never care or Support you even if they're family and supose to do it. Dont rely on anyone but yourself.Ure your best friend, you mom/ dad and brother😊👍 Spend your Money o. Yourself too, when was the last Time someone Gifted you somethinhg?🎂
“They don’t acknowledge what they did to you” “You are a puppet” This is literally my older brother. Doesn’t acknowledge anything he’s done to me. “What are you talking about? I don’t remember that” and always uses people for his own selfish gain. No decency for anything. I used to let him borrow my car to go do something important that would last maybe an hour and I told him he could use it, no problem. But then he takes advantage and uses the car for 4 hours, picking up his girlfriend and going to places with her and never once said anything about it until he got back and I questioned him why he took so long smh “Well so what, I had the car already, and I put gas in it, what’s the big deal” these kind of people will never understand. And he does the same with my mom’s car. And he also always gets his way with my parents, they have no backbone when it comes to him because “that’s just how he is” or they will get annoyed of him complaining, but who gives a shit, just say no.
Narcissism: With parents examples: They are choosing when to talk to you. They’ll be nice and sweet for a little bit. If they rally cared they would intentionally go out of their way to ask you how they’re doing and doing it meaningfully instead of saying it whenever it’s convenient for them, so basically it’s not intentional. It’s also not authentic. It’s just a matter of convenience. Acknowledging and apologizing.
There are 2 types of familial narcissism. 1 type is unconscious narcissism, as you say your parents have no idea why you havent spoken to them (Are you sure they arent gaslighting you?) And type 2, the more sinister kind is intentional covert narcissism, where there are two faces, 1 for public and 1 for behind closed doors. Psychologists say this is the indication that the narcissist knows their behavior is wrong and is hiding it from others. The other kind is that the narcissist is the same in public.
You mean Overt and Covert? My mom is more of a covert sadistic type with a completely different mask and personality in public. I'd say its more so gaslighting but who knows at this point. She is so good at feigning ignorance and manipulating I could never read what her next move would be. The only thing I know that worked for sure was stonewalling.
@@shayseahawkraptorfan doesn't matter to me. My opinion stays firm unless presented with strong evidence to support why its necessary to bring another life into this world. This planet is overpopulated as it is right now.
Jordan Peterson tends to be sensational with his rhetoric, and as far as the overpopulation issue goes, I think that the problem is more one of quality rather than quantity. If you know you can maintain a certain lifestyle and a level of financial stability where you can raise a child in an optimal environment for their growth and emotional well-being, then you're more likely to raise your child into a compassionate and confident young adult able to tackle anything life throws at them. I think unless you're in that position, it is irresponsible to bring a child into this world with the way things are headed. I also think it's important for every potential parent to first go through processes of self-realization, dealing with their traumas so they don't pass them on, shadow work, etc. before taking on the responsibility.
It depends on the root of the reason tbh. If it’s “im antinatalist because I only care about myself to the point where I treat others like crap and objects.” then he’d have a point.
Exactly if they didn't value me before I don't want them now when I'm up I'm good avoid all the people from your past who overlooked rejected and played you IDC if these are your friends parents or co workers get away from these these energy vampires
I hate corporate America and corporations
I Despise those people in Corporate America and Corporations be they Never Ever do right by you......
Man, I’m sorry you are going through that. That sounds awful. Glad you are creating some distance between yourself and them.
Most definitely gets worse with age, eats me away inside knowing they are getting closer to death, and nothing will ever change the situation.
@@NomadicBroski-mf3sv chances are if you visit them on their deathbed they'll just use that to degrade or insult you one last time.
@@deconstructingnarcissism3062yo lol, but it’s true
@@mistol2130 I've imagined this scenario over a thousand times in my head with my own parents and I can't think of anything else that would happen. Its always a condescending remark or some dumb comment with them.
@@deconstructingnarcissism3062 so demonic they are
@@deconstructingnarcissism3062just ignore them
Most people don't change especially the toxic ones
I am struggling in life and my parents and family just tear me down and call me a loser. Really just makes me much more depressed.
Hey there. I'm sorry that your parents have wounded you this deeply. Just know they had to do that to you because that's how they feel about themselves deep down. It doesn't mean that it truly reflects who you are. You are much greater(and stronger) than both your parents family and yourself think.
Much love my friend. Love and be kind to yourself.
Do not be around them if they treat you this way. I no longer speak to my parents. Your self esteem will only get better when you keep a distance. Of course they will probably try to come back later to try to destroy your progress in self esteem, but just expect that and try to stay strong regardless. I know its hard. Good luck P.S. Try to keep it civil if you can just because it will make you feel better, but don't be afraid to say no and set boundaries and be ready to be distant again if you accidentally let them in again.
Is there any possible way you could sever ties and get away from them because if yes, you would heal and you would realize that there’s nothing wrong with your mental health. They are creating all of what you’re feeling. They are putting your mental health in jeopardy.
I know that’s so hard to believe because when I got into counseling, my therapist told me this too but I was convinced I was the problem.
They are so good at gaslighting and brainwashing and treating you like dirt that you’ve come to believe the things that they have said are true but the reality is they are miserable, unhappy people and there is a light in you that causes them to see the demons within themselves. For that, they despise you and want to break you down in order to make themselves feel better. If 6 people in a group are all broke and on drugs and one breaks free and becomes the equivalent of let’s say Taylor Swift do you think the remaining group will be happy for her and like her and support her. No because looking at her will remind them that they all started on the same level so why her and not them. They will want to do everything they can to destroy her because that’s the only way they can then make themselves not look so bad.
You have a gift, the gift of kindness and empathy and normalcy and your family doesn’t have any of those qualities and that is why they treat you so badly.
If you could get away and sever all ties, no phone calls no emails no communication at all, I promise you, in time you will see things as they are. ❤ I’m so sorry that you’re struggling. I have been in your shoes. I spent a good five years living in a fog of accusations, gaslighting and projections and stonewalling and the silent treatment not understanding at all what was happening and it was horrible.
My therapist saved my life. The funny thing is I actually went to therapy to get on medication because I believed my family. I believed I was the problem because they loved me or so I thought so why would they be telling me these things if they weren’t true.
It was my therapist who said they are all sociopathic alcoholic losers and you have got to get away from them so just because these people are your family doesn’t make them healthy or correct in the things they are saying to you. Trust your instincts and know that you are the healthy one which is why they gang up on you.
Same. They even caused most of it 😂 these mf’s are so mean but I also pity them it’s so hard to navigate.
As a scapegoat daughter of two malignant narcissists, Mike let me encourage you. Why are you picked for abominable abuse? It's actually a compliment. Do I sound insane? Here are the actual traits of scapegoats. In my research I have found three so far. 1. They are the most gifted and talented, which triggers the narcissists low self-esteem, and they hate you for making them feel inadequate (Even though you are not doing ANYTHING. You are just being you.) 2. You are the truth teller. (They have lived in denial since birth and are enraged that you won't play fantasyland with them). 3. You are the gentlest, kindest, and most empathic of the bunch. (The narcissist misinterprets this as you are a sniveling weakling to be despised and destroyed. They have the added benefit of getting drunk on the power of hurting you). It's all lies and bullshit. Don't believe them and get away from them PERMANENTLY. Just the fact you are targeted for constant diminishing and attack tells me you HAVE to be a very good person, because this is their MO. Good, kind, gifted, caring people threaten the narcissist.
Yep.. there are some situations that we just don’t have any control over. They control us (if we let them).
Very relevant, needed this
Do you have siblings? What is your relationship like with the rest of your family? Do you think NPD started with your parents or do you think it’s a generational affliction in your family?
Thanks head on
a week a go I’ve discovered theres been a covert flying monkey straddling the fence and this person to come out has suspiciously been in my life for more then seven years,
mid way our friendship, I noticed some strange signs of them ,
casting over me to frustrate me and as I further experienced it.
It became more detectable between then and now I’ve had a couple of trips.
But now its been embedded and I woke up one day, distinguished why my spirit was being dragged because it was off “ my spirit” .
Then I leveled up obtained 4 degrees one to phase out third inchoate indifference towards me when channeling it through communication. Which they would always try to make me seem disillusioned and incompetent even juvenile.
“This one sign seen through their flying monkey their gratification of frustrating people. “
But anyway now I have pure reception of the triggers used and who because of this awkward vibe , the funny thing is I always new this and wanted to silent hatch this out luckily I did with less physical confrontation.
Yo stay alert and kind to yourself, great points
Some people Will never care or Support you even if they're family and supose to do it.
Dont rely on anyone but yourself.Ure your best friend, you mom/ dad and brother😊👍
Spend your Money o. Yourself too, when was the last Time someone Gifted you somethinhg?🎂
“They don’t acknowledge what they did to you” “You are a puppet” This is literally my older brother. Doesn’t acknowledge anything he’s done to me. “What are you talking about? I don’t remember that” and always uses people for his own selfish gain. No decency for anything.
I used to let him borrow my car to go do something important that would last maybe an hour and I told him he could use it, no problem. But then he takes advantage and uses the car for 4 hours, picking up his girlfriend and going to places with her and never once said anything about it until he got back and I questioned him why he took so long smh “Well so what, I had the car already, and I put gas in it, what’s the big deal” these kind of people will never understand. And he does the same with my mom’s car. And he also always gets his way with my parents, they have no backbone when it comes to him because “that’s just how he is” or they will get annoyed of him complaining, but who gives a shit, just say no.
Narcissism:
With parents examples: They are choosing when to talk to you. They’ll be nice and sweet for a little bit. If they rally cared they would intentionally go out of their way to ask you how they’re doing and doing it meaningfully instead of saying it whenever it’s convenient for them, so basically it’s not intentional. It’s also not authentic. It’s just a matter of convenience.
Acknowledging and apologizing.
There are 2 types of familial narcissism. 1 type is unconscious narcissism, as you say your parents have no idea why you havent spoken to them (Are you sure they arent gaslighting you?)
And type 2, the more sinister kind is intentional covert narcissism, where there are two faces, 1 for public and 1 for behind closed doors. Psychologists say this is the indication that the narcissist knows their behavior is wrong and is hiding it from others. The other kind is that the narcissist is the same in public.
You mean Overt and Covert? My mom is more of a covert sadistic type with a completely different mask and personality in public. I'd say its more so gaslighting but who knows at this point. She is so good at feigning ignorance and manipulating I could never read what her next move would be. The only thing I know that worked for sure was stonewalling.
@@deconstructingnarcissism3062 My mother is the same. I have gone no contact .
💯 right on the heart of it point
Ironically jordan peterson called antinatalists «narcissistic, sadistic sociopaths» smh 🤦♂️
@@shayseahawkraptorfan doesn't matter to me. My opinion stays firm unless presented with strong evidence to support why its necessary to bring another life into this world. This planet is overpopulated as it is right now.
@@deconstructingnarcissism3062 yea the world is overpopulated which is leading to high inflation along with corporate greed
Jordan Peterson tends to be sensational with his rhetoric, and as far as the overpopulation issue goes, I think that the problem is more one of quality rather than quantity. If you know you can maintain a certain lifestyle and a level of financial stability where you can raise a child in an optimal environment for their growth and emotional well-being, then you're more likely to raise your child into a compassionate and confident young adult able to tackle anything life throws at them. I think unless you're in that position, it is irresponsible to bring a child into this world with the way things are headed. I also think it's important for every potential parent to first go through processes of self-realization, dealing with their traumas so they don't pass them on, shadow work, etc. before taking on the responsibility.
Him telling others what to do with their lives and bodies is narc-y.
It depends on the root of the reason tbh. If it’s “im antinatalist because I only care about myself to the point where I treat others like crap and objects.” then he’d have a point.
Come to Wisconsin
Just curious. After your standard first week or two of "loving parent" mode, how did they start dropping the mask? Sudden or slowly?
pure blackpill
Hey bud hope you're doing ok
its not that they dont care about you, because i truly think parents care about their kids. the problem is people have kids for all the wrong reasons
Exactly if they didn't value me before I don't want them now when I'm up I'm good avoid all the people from your past who overlooked rejected and played you IDC if these are your friends parents or co workers get away from these these energy vampires
Are you collective dismal?
Dismal has a MUCH higher voice than this dude