“Have you tried to explain the concept of empathy to a tall handsome white guy?” Yes I have! In 2017, I did my senior thesis on empathy, which was essentially that empathy is a trait, a state and a skill that can be taught and practiced. So I developed a game to practice empathy with others, and I wrote a 25 page research paper on the varying definitions of empathy across multiple disciplines, coming to my thesis on what empathy is. I got amazing feedback on the game I made and got excellent grades, as well as being asked to come back to present my process for developing my thesis to the next class. About a week after I presented, I got in a heated debate with my boyfriend at the time, a tall, handsome white guy, who was telling me that sympathy was the same thing as empathy, when I had literally written an ENTIRE section in my paper about how they are not the same thing 😅 it didn’t matter that I had quote after quote about how sympathy is basically pitying someone, versus actually doing the work to understand someone’s perspective, so I learned that some people just really aren't willing to practice empathy lol
@@jimfrick6001 I did listen! He was saying that because he felt bad for someone he was feeling empathy towards them, and I explained that from my research, what it sounded like he was experiencing was actually sympathy, not empathy, and he got all defensive. It's not that sympathy is necessarily a bad thing, it's just that it is distinctive from empathy, because sympathy is more self-focused, whereas empathy is other-focused. And yeah, he didn't really care about my perspective, so we are no longer together lol
I had this experience with a rich white man just yesterday. Ironically, I will say: he did not consider that life was the byproduct of anything other than our own actions until I mentioned that the starting line is in a different place for most of us. It was a sports analogy, Taylor.
It's an effect of society constantly telling men "that they can't imagine what being a woman is like". You can't constantly punish people for trying to empathize, all the while telling them "that they will never get it" and at the same time act surprised, if they then actually trust you and therefore accept "that they never will get it". That's just a badly cosntructed catch 22.
@@AntonGudenusNOBODY will completely understand the full breath of experience in someone with different life experiences. Do you think white people can fully understand what it means to be black? No. But can they TRY to learn what they CAN? Maybe read a book about it? Men are not special on this. Our society is set up that a large amount of the media and power is aimed DIRECTLY at this demographic-so if you don’t learn to understand the straight white male experience? You suffer structural consequences in work, your personal safety, etc. We’ve been told to anticipate the male perspective since we were children just to not get abducted. We were told we HAVE to or else there are grave consequences. But what are the consequences of not bothering to learn about women’s experiences, black people’s experiences, etc? You don’t get the date you want? We HAVE to, but you abdicate all responsibility to understand others because a minority expressed frustration with having to guide you themselves on top of everything else they deal with when a good amount of that knowledge has always been out there. Again, there are books. Nothing is stopping you. But we HAD to from childhood, and you’re complaining when someone expects you to do a small bit of the same work that is expected from them.
@@brennam954You missed my point entirely. I laid out, WHY they eventually STOP empathizing. If you punish people for trying to empathize or constantly gaslight their attempts at empathizing as "not empathizing", you eventually get people to actually stop even trying to empathize. Because no matter what you do, you will be accused of not trying to empathize. It's kind of like you'd eventually stop trying to do good work, if all your work is cosntantly being shit on. If your decision is between "do a lot of work and then be told that it's shit" and "accept that it's shit and don't do work", only a delusional person, or a person doing the work exclusively for themselves and therefore not being beholden to other peoples opinion, would still do the work.
@@amygradybsw I have no doubt about that, but flights to the US are currently slightly above of what I can afford. Pension checks don't cover leisure time, I'm afraid.
interesting info: Taylor bought that jacket for the special but was kinda scared bc she thinks she cant pull it off. she basically had to build her confidence the whole year to wear the jacket lol. the lesson out of the story: WEAR SHIT YOU LIKE BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THEM TOO
Tall handsome whte man here. I had to read "Do Androids dream of electric sheeps" (Philip K. Dick) when teen to fully understand the very concept of empathy, how it makes us humans, how it is central in love. I highly recommand this book (the movie, Blade Runner, is excellent but partially misses the point).
Watched the special with my (tall handsome white) husband and when this bit started, we looked at each other and started laughing. He was instantly aware that this was a perfect description of him :D
Glad to see that your hubby has enough self-awareness to recognize & laugh at his own imperfections, hope he's gotten a lot better at empathy since you two started dating!
It’s so interesting how it can be so much easier for people to hear something from someone else than their person, sometimes. I save this for my fella!
@@RikSolstice Ha! Me too. I really want to remember: especially with parents and good friends. But I can't do it. My brain won't allow it. The only two I remember are my own, and some girl I knew 40 years ago...for some reason. :)
Female therapist here, with some white male clients: people project onto the world what they receive. White men, especially handsome ones, categorically receive the least empathy, regardless of physical or mental disability, financial struggle, familial situations, etc , so they do tend to struggle to give it. Empathy must be learned, and when it's never received, it's difficult to grasp what it is.
Yes, please tell me more about what it's like to be a man. Lmfao you have no idea what it's like. I dont care where you recieved your education. It was a nice thought though.
As a tall handsome white man with a ton of empathy, my experience has been depressing. I kind of feel like no one has empathy. I've gotten sympathy from a few people I was exceptionally close with. But I hardly ever get any empathy. Common responses I get instead of empathy are: "yeah" (with their eyes completely glazed over), that sucks, damn, who cares?, so what?, and "Why dont you just do X." Even my therapist is like this. I honestly think that most men aren't taught empathy, nor are they given any. Its very isolating to be an empathetic person living in a world that won't show you empathy back because of your gender/appearance. I can't say I blame a lot of men for not being empathetic. Life only gets worse for men who are. At least this has been my experience anyway. I really wish this is something that no one else has to experience.
I personally am not very empathetic. But I can tell that other people have no idea what I´m feeling. Althogh, thanks to my feminine physical features, I can sometimes secure empathy from others, although not consistantly. Well, I am just writing this because I also wish you wouldn´t have to experience this. They may call us men unempathetic but they´re not empathetic themselves. People have a tendency to low-key bully me and it´s always fun to watch them realize they´re not a Good person. I like to say "Your soul is like a mirror, if you keep it pure, others will see their own evil reflection in it." But whatever... I just wanted to say that I´m sorry you had to go through this. Be safe.
I've met some liberal men like that too. Not as many... But yeah. It's when narcissistic traits get out of hand. I just keep reminding myself if they don't care to understand me or how I feel, they don't care for me. If they hate it when I try to explain how I feel, they hate me. If they try to talk over me or dismiss how I feel, they want me to disappear from my body so they can replace it with a stepford SO.
@@wildewaffle9790A lot of women have preferences for height like they do for any other characteristic, but it doesn’t matter as much as men think it does. Men are way more obsessed with height than women are 😂 I mean you’ll get a vid of a woman saying “I don’t mind if a guy is shorter than me” and the comments are just full of men calling her a liar 😂
This!!! 😂 I was like "tall, hot and handsome? That's what you want? And then you complain he lacks empathy?Typical." She should have chosen a guy with empathy over this Chad. There are more than enough men with empathy, just stop picking the Chads and Tyrones. 🤦♂️
The thing that really makes this amazing for me is. I could just listen to it with no video...and I'd be laughing. I could just watch her emote her way through it with no sound, and I'd be laughing. When both...together...I'm just awash in laughter.
She's so good! It's a shame her late night show isn't a more traditional one. I wish it were mostly her interacting with guests instead of the weird game show format that it is
I was REALLY excited when I heard she was getting her own late, late show. Then I saw the format and thought it was a pretty douche-y thing to do to her. I AM still glad she has her own show. AND I think it would be killer if it were a traditional style late-show. Given how well she works crowds, I think she'd be a great host.
@@mdclavey59 maybe they'll transition it.... do a round of game show, then adjourn to a couch chat format after that with the guests or something... I agree the format does her no favours.
I saw that, @@jessicam3707, and she's such a great person and performer I would've expected nothing less... true or not. I suspect her comment is more one of pragmatism and professional politics than not.
This never stops being funny, watched it 3 times n came back when someone commented so i watched it again. Kind of sad its so true, but still FUNNY AS F*CK!
@@lofipooper9080 Well if you're unsure why we make puppy eyes just bring us food while undressed and with a big smile on your faces... you'll never be wrong with that kind of response as it works no matter whether we are seeking empathy, are horny or hungry or just lonely and bored ;-)
Tall attractive white man here with a successful 20 year marriage. My wife accused me early in our marriage of being born without the portion of human DNA that codes for empathy. I'm still not sure what she's talking about but I developed a mental routine that has helped significantly. When I begin to detect that she needs me to feel a certain way about something, not say something, not do something, but FEEL something, I think "oh, this is that empathy thing again, oh ok, you can do this bud, just find that half-empty gatorade bottle of normal human emotion under the back seat of your mind and take a sip. Not TOO MUCH, she'll think you're lying, just a little bit, there it is, good job. Now just be quiet and let her do the rest of the feeling until she's done." It's worked wonders.
@@sunny3907 So? I find women way more attractive than men (both the physical attraction and their brains). I find I'm much less compatible with males and I see a lot more issues in men than I do women
In America, or at least the America I grew up in, a tall handsome white guy who just suits up and shows up for life is almost guaranteed to end up a successful millionaire. Then they get what I call "millionaire's disease" which is the delusion that, because they have "made it", they are better than everyone else at everything. As a lawyer, I learned this disease provides a lot of work for us.
@@gerryleb8575 If you think, that that was the most misogynistic generation in history, you are sorely mistaken. A few centuries ago it was much much worse. And in other societies it still is much much worse, than it was in the west for centuries. Additionally the America of the boomers is now slowly going the way of the dodo. Boomers are now reaching retirement age, and todays America is very different. Though even with boomers the statistics don't agree with you.
Empathy is what a woman wants. Not anything she gives. I've had two wives and a handful of girlfriends in a very long life. They all changed my houses without asking. Took my rooms as their own....without asking. Took my closets . Took my living rooms. Took everything.including the barns and shops. They ALL left the garage for me. IN my own houses. They are all gone and no one changes my houses but me. I learned teh hard facts of life. Women want everything, and they want to give as little as possible to get it. There are no other types. If a man puts his foot down and demands his own spaces, He's a jerk and he's not empathetic or supportive. If a woman takes everything, she's "just trying to help".
Sympathy is: I'm sorry you hit your finger with a hammer - that must hurt, I imagine. Empathy is: I'm sorry you hit your finger with a hammer - I know it hurts because I've done that. You don't need to write a thesis on this.
And then we are collectively telling men: "You are a man, you will never feel how it feels to be a woman, trying to do so is actually insulting to female plight" And if you never have hit your own finger with a hammer, you have no idea how and if it hurts. So you can't show sympathy either.
Or maybe try a different perspective: Sympathy - " Here! This is the ointment to stop the pain of your finger. Use it because I don't want to see your red finger the next morning" Empathy - " Here, use this ointment and apply it to your finger. It must have hurt hard. I know the pain. Try not to wet your finger for some days and let it heal naturally. It will slowly swell down." I guess we still have a lot to learn between sympathy and empathy. If empathy is a topic that learning a lot deal of it will eventually does change how a person treat another,why ..not?
The basketball analogy wouldn't work on me. I don't like sports. "Okay..! Let's imagine..!? That you're the captain of a starship" Oh I'd never make Captain. Maybe an Ensign or Lt. j.g. "Fine! You're an ensign!" Do I get to take Ops? "What's Ops?" HOW am I even DATING you? If you don't know the difference between OPS and CON?! "Okay how does that make you feel?" That sucks! I don't like this game!
Well, that's precisely because you do not care that you cannot expect your relationship to last, be it your friends, your family and the one you claim to love. When you love someone, you care. You care about their feelings, you care about them being happy. If you do not, then you do not love them. If you are unable to love another enough to care, you can be by yourself, and that's fine too.
@@thedevilsadvocate788 Entirely off the point. The point is only that my birthday doesn't matter, so it wouldn't bother me if someone forgot it, and I probably wouldn't notice because I wasn't aware we'd reached my birthday. The day and people not remembering it is not relevant to my happiness. I feel no worse for it. No matter how much I love the person, and no matter how much they love me. It's that simple. If anything, them making a thing out of my birthday even though I don't care about it is what would be annoying.
@@thesong7877 Well, people tends to view their birthday as day they want to spend with their loved ones. If you do not care for your own birthday, that's perfectly fine too. I mean, I don't celebrate mine either, I find it a bother and a reminder that I'm getting older and my time on Earth keeps getting shorter. But if it is something my girlfriend cares about, I'll make a gesture, because she's important to me. The way you phrased it made it sound that if your significant other attempted to explained why your indifference to something they value important bothered them, you'd disregard it because "Well, ain't important to me, why would I care that it is to you?" But as you might have experienced; written statements are often taken at face value, it is hard to evaluate someone's state of mind or intent.
I have totally put a candle in the bathroom and then got mad at my girlfriend when she didn't even comment on it. It's a moment that makes you feel like Willem Dafoe in Spider-Man when the board of directors vote him out of the company
@@jv-lk7bcOkay, I seriously have to ask; do you know what a subtext is? I am not judging, I am not even condescending, I am genuinely curious. Considering the amount of shit being cut out of schools.
I'm a guy and I personally think she's very funny. I say that even as a guy who's generally pretty tough to please with stand up. I also happen to think that men and women are different, and thus flawed in our own unique ways. One of the beauties of life is each sex being there to compliment the other, and keep them in check. I just don't happen to find this particular moment from her special all that funny because it doesn't ring all together true. I consider myself far from TRIGGERED because it offended me However, while I'll insist that I wasn't offended by this particular bit poking fun at men, I'll also insist that I would make no apologize in saying that men getting offended at a portrayal of themselves isn't something which in principle is inherently wrong. Just because she didn't say something offensive here, does not mean that it's impossible for men to be reasonably offended.
my review: shes got great stage presence, and the jokes are well crafted. as far as what shes actually saying goes, her observations about tall, handsome white guys apply to good looking people in general. race and gender dont have anything to do with it - all that matters is the hotness. also rich people have this problem no matter what they look like. really just anyone who is used to being coddled, getting away with stuff, and having their ass kissed. imo hot girls are 10x worse than the guys. their expectation for the world to just mold itself around their whims would be hilarious if they didnt actually get it to happen a decent amount of the time. empathy isnt even in their vocabulary. its so common that movies like heathers and mean girls have been made about it. so why pick on tall handsome white guys? low hanging fruit, thats why.
True! Most guys have that "burned out" emotionless state. They are ready to fight and die but totally not ready for a relationship xD Girls should ask about empathy as early as they can ;-)
I was talking to a tall, straight white guy today about just this kind of stuff. And he would absolutely agree that most men (at least around where we live) are like this. We both think it's kind of sad.
ARE young straight guys in the US really like this - apart from the obvious "Chads" ? Or is Taylor - and every other female comedian - exagerating a bit ? Or a lot in order to keep the agenda going ? I'm curious here, as this sees SO carricated to me : )
I mean it's stand up comedy, obviously it's kinda carricated, but I (straight white man) have actually seen this among my friends a lot. German btw so not a purely American phenomenon
I still don't get that basketball team thing but okay maybe it's 'cause I am diagnosed with ADHD, narcissism, psychopathy and OCPD in addition to CPTSD so let's go back to talking about how awesome I am because of that bathroom candle which I stole from home depot to pretend that I fixed my life for you!
It think that's more of a "humanity as a whole" thing rather than a gender thing. We, as humans, do not empathize well with people we have differences with. This is why it takes effort, and that's why interpersonal long-term relationships are hard. You could reverse that situation and it would work. You could even adapt it to any kind of relationship, and it still works. All you require to understand the story is to understand that one party is making efforts, and the other fails to see or acknowledge these efforts, and/or downright makes none. That's the concept, that's the subtext. I understand you might just be in bad faith because... well... you are... but that's what's amusing to me. And it allows me to mansplain it without feeling bad about it, because I think my condescending tone is appropriate. Have a neat day.
If getting what you want from a hot man is so difficult, maybe there's a lesson in there. Imagine, just for a moment, that men are human beings. I know it's hard, but I promise there's a payout in imagining that men who don't give most women the tingles are human nonetheless. Now imagine that the message that women constantly put out there about not objectifying women for their appearance or selecting them only for their appearance or valuing them only for superficial reasons might just have applications to women choosing men. I know this is a big ask, but just go with me on this. What if human beings--women or men--who get picked for their appearance learn from their experience that they don't have to be good people or good partners because someone will always pick them for their attractiveness. Maybe the thing that women are always saying about men needing to pick women for who they are on the inside is good advice for how women pick men. I know the idea that there might be a consistent set of rules for men and women sounds wrong on the surface. Give it some thought anyway.
You missed the problem my dear. Women are actually way more prone to pick for internal qualities, compared to men. And know what happens? We find that the way misogyny affects men, is that men notoriously lack on the social and emotional skill sets. Even if they are not pretty men, even if they are not white men, even if they are not men but still boys. Misogyny cuts men from their archaic feminine aspects. These aspects are shamed in men. Especially BY peer men, but not exclusively aka women, too, can be shaming men and boys for emotions. And basically things are so bad, there's terms like "generalised alexythymia in the male population". In which "alexithymia" is about struggling to sense, discern and/or process emotions. The whole blasted sexism dynamic and sexistic behaviours particularly (but not exclusively) in men, like ANY form of discrimination, is built on "lack of empathy/compassion" and ppl's inability to simply respect the needs of others, WITHOUT having to experience these things themselves. It's BECAUSE men are humans, too, that men are affected by sexism just as women are (like with all sides to any form of discrimination). Just that men get privileges, too, (which end up "poisonous", in a sense) where women have to carry the burden for it (which can sometimes come with some incredibly bitter "benefits", in a sense). So, when are ya sweets ready to notice, that your problems and our problems are two sides to the same coin and come in to help sort that out? (Maybe you already are, personally then awesome). I'm kind of surprised you assumed a lack of awareness, by the way. Actually the more frequent way of women specifically selecting for the pretty boys with lack of character, tends to be a trauma response and more of a Since chances to find a man with sufficient emotional intelligence to sort out the sexism patterns that affect us, is low (as that's how debilitating the effects of sexism are), I may as well at least have some eye candy for as long as it lasts". I personally do not select this way. On the contrary, you'll see me be fairly unhappy if I fall for a guy with character who's also pretty/attractive, cause I know what 3rd person produced headaches will come with that LOL. But I've encountered the mindset. It tend to be a trauma response that is basically about .... sweetening things up a bit as abuse is so likely, it's basically expected. 😮💨. In fact, women who select lie myself, often end up single or run into men who are a hot mess of trauma and are sweet but a kid on emotional level and will struggle against you on every step of the way of trying help them mature. Ever tried suggesting therapy to men, dear? 😟 Ofcourse there are exceptions. Most of the time (but not always), those men will ne in relationships LOL as that is OUR definition of "top tier partner".
1. I don't want people to remember my birthday! 2. I'm not a basketball player and can't imagine being one. 3. I sometimes forget people's birthdays. I remember them mostly because of Facebook. 4. There are a ton of stuff that I don't expect people to remember or do for me. I understand that they are human. I expect no less in return.
The inverse is tough too, when she looks like she can stop traffic but has Mommy/Daddy issues and instead of being the empathetic one needs feelings explained to her. Doesn't help that society generally throwns on men explaining anything about how they feel.
- Imagine you're a basketball player.
- Ok.
- _But you're not._
This hurt me
Now that's the sport xd
I was looking for this comment 😂
I just burst out laughing, thanks for this.
Any arguement that massages the ego will be accepted automatically
“Have you tried to explain the concept of empathy to a tall handsome white guy?” Yes I have! In 2017, I did my senior thesis on empathy, which was essentially that empathy is a trait, a state and a skill that can be taught and practiced. So I developed a game to practice empathy with others, and I wrote a 25 page research paper on the varying definitions of empathy across multiple disciplines, coming to my thesis on what empathy is. I got amazing feedback on the game I made and got excellent grades, as well as being asked to come back to present my process for developing my thesis to the next class. About a week after I presented, I got in a heated debate with my boyfriend at the time, a tall, handsome white guy, who was telling me that sympathy was the same thing as empathy, when I had literally written an ENTIRE section in my paper about how they are not the same thing 😅 it didn’t matter that I had quote after quote about how sympathy is basically pitying someone, versus actually doing the work to understand someone’s perspective, so I learned that some people just really aren't willing to practice empathy lol
where can i get gour game?!😂
@@jimfrick6001 but wuz he listening tho? girl did all the research and wrote a whole paper and stuff, why should she listen to someone who's wrong?
@@jimfrick6001 kk fair
Would you be willing to share your thesis? Or sell your game? I would be really interested in reading this and playing the game.
@@jimfrick6001 I did listen! He was saying that because he felt bad for someone he was feeling empathy towards them, and I explained that from my research, what it sounded like he was experiencing was actually sympathy, not empathy, and he got all defensive. It's not that sympathy is necessarily a bad thing, it's just that it is distinctive from empathy, because sympathy is more self-focused, whereas empathy is other-focused. And yeah, he didn't really care about my perspective, so we are no longer together lol
I had this experience with a rich white man just yesterday. Ironically, I will say: he did not consider that life was the byproduct of anything other than our own actions until I mentioned that the starting line is in a different place for most of us.
It was a sports analogy, Taylor.
Well said. Great metaphore (that also works for "meritocratic" capitalism, btw).
Said the beautiful woman with the rich white guy. Guess there is always a higher mountain.
But life really *is* the result of our own actions, regardless of where an individual starts.
@@americasevilgeniusYou should check up wikipedia's page of Pierre Bourdieu (for a start).
@@americasevilgenius baby brain take, try again
“Hard to argue. Touché” really makes me laugh.
I have literally had the "but I'm not" conversation with my tall straight white ex so many times!
It's an effect of society constantly telling men "that they can't imagine what being a woman is like".
You can't constantly punish people for trying to empathize, all the while telling them "that they will never get it" and at the same time act surprised, if they then actually trust you and therefore accept "that they never will get it". That's just a badly cosntructed catch 22.
@@AntonGudenusNOBODY will completely understand the full breath of experience in someone with different life experiences. Do you think white people can fully understand what it means to be black? No. But can they TRY to learn what they CAN? Maybe read a book about it? Men are not special on this.
Our society is set up that a large amount of the media and power is aimed DIRECTLY at this demographic-so if you don’t learn to understand the straight white male experience? You suffer structural consequences in work, your personal safety, etc. We’ve been told to anticipate the male perspective since we were children just to not get abducted. We were told we HAVE to or else there are grave consequences. But what are the consequences of not bothering to learn about women’s experiences, black people’s experiences, etc? You don’t get the date you want? We HAVE to, but you abdicate all responsibility to understand others because a minority expressed frustration with having to guide you themselves on top of everything else they deal with when a good amount of that knowledge has always been out there. Again, there are books. Nothing is stopping you. But we HAD to from childhood, and you’re complaining when someone expects you to do a small bit of the same work that is expected from them.
@@AntonGudenus They're not trying to empathize though...that's the ENTIRE point.
@@brennam954You missed my point entirely.
I laid out, WHY they eventually STOP empathizing.
If you punish people for trying to empathize or constantly gaslight their attempts at empathizing as "not empathizing", you eventually get people to actually stop even trying to empathize.
Because no matter what you do, you will be accused of not trying to empathize.
It's kind of like you'd eventually stop trying to do good work, if all your work is cosntantly being shit on. If your decision is between "do a lot of work and then be told that it's shit" and "accept that it's shit and don't do work", only a delusional person, or a person doing the work exclusively for themselves and therefore not being beholden to other peoples opinion, would still do the work.
@@AntonGudenus More excuses. Grow up.
She gets better and better.
She’s woke. She sucks.
I watched the entire program a few days ago and man, she is fantastic! Loved it! Thank you Netflix and Taylor Tomlison!!
She's even better LIVE!! Saw her last week!!! Amazing 👏
@@amygradybsw I have no doubt about that, but flights to the US are currently slightly above of what I can afford. Pension checks don't cover leisure time, I'm afraid.
Amusing and informative- I like her transparency. And her gorgeous metallic pink jacket.
right?
@@3776-d8n when I get "slim again" goals lol
The flame pattern at the bottom is sick af
@@deadmeme8011 Didn't see that until you mentioned it.
interesting info: Taylor bought that jacket for the special but was kinda scared bc she thinks she cant pull it off. she basically had to build her confidence the whole year to wear the jacket lol. the lesson out of the story: WEAR SHIT YOU LIKE BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THEM TOO
Tall handsome whte man here. I had to read "Do Androids dream of electric sheeps" (Philip K. Dick) when teen to fully understand the very concept of empathy, how it makes us humans, how it is central in love. I highly recommand this book (the movie, Blade Runner, is excellent but partially misses the point).
Such an excellent book, and you're right, Blade Runner is great but doesn't catch everything. :)
The actual title is this: "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep." Not "electronic sheeps."
Watched the special with my (tall handsome white) husband and when this bit started, we looked at each other and started laughing. He was instantly aware that this was a perfect description of him :D
Glad to see that your hubby has enough self-awareness to recognize & laugh at his own imperfections, hope he's gotten a lot better at empathy since you two started dating!
It’s so interesting how it can be so much easier for people to hear something from someone else than their person, sometimes. I save this for my fella!
Why am I watching this when I have a Netflix subscription. I could just watch the whole thing
She nailed it.
What a way to confirm that I am not hot 😅
Empathy is one of the perks of not being hot. :)
@@ncwordman I still forget people's birthdays though...
@@RikSolstice Ha! Me too. I really want to remember: especially with parents and good friends. But I can't do it. My brain won't allow it. The only two I remember are my own, and some girl I knew 40 years ago...for some reason. :)
@@ncwordman stop that.
That's me with phone numbers. I think I finally memorized my husband's, yet I can probably still recite my highschool boyfriend's number@@ncwordman
She yells the truth... ❤ Her
She does yell
@@hoemalone not as much as most of the guys.
@@jv-lk7bc yeah well they have to live with women so can yall blame them
So does Andrew tate, about women
Her ponytail got longer w each comedy special.
Wonder why she always wears a ponytail. Is it easier to deal with?
@@JustinCoastersyes
That’s usually how hair growth + time works
@@lexiright5609 oh word? I 😐🙄😒
@JustinCoasters Maybe it's part of her stage look.
Hey! That candle changed EVERYTHING! 😂
Sports analogies are the way to go for everything apparently 😂
even people who don't watch sports. we live in a strange society.
Sports are the best school of life, like it or not.
Female therapist here, with some white male clients: people project onto the world what they receive. White men, especially handsome ones, categorically receive the least empathy, regardless of physical or mental disability, financial struggle, familial situations, etc , so they do tend to struggle to give it. Empathy must be learned, and when it's never received, it's difficult to grasp what it is.
Yes, please tell me more about what it's like to be a man. Lmfao you have no idea what it's like. I dont care where you recieved your education. It was a nice thought though.
As a tall handsome white man with a ton of empathy, my experience has been depressing. I kind of feel like no one has empathy. I've gotten sympathy from a few people I was exceptionally close with. But I hardly ever get any empathy. Common responses I get instead of empathy are: "yeah" (with their eyes completely glazed over), that sucks, damn, who cares?, so what?, and "Why dont you just do X." Even my therapist is like this. I honestly think that most men aren't taught empathy, nor are they given any. Its very isolating to be an empathetic person living in a world that won't show you empathy back because of your gender/appearance. I can't say I blame a lot of men for not being empathetic. Life only gets worse for men who are. At least this has been my experience anyway. I really wish this is something that no one else has to experience.
I personally am not very empathetic. But I can tell that other people have no idea what I´m feeling. Althogh, thanks to my feminine physical features, I can sometimes secure empathy from others, although not consistantly. Well, I am just writing this because I also wish you wouldn´t have to experience this.
They may call us men unempathetic but they´re not empathetic themselves. People have a tendency to low-key bully me and it´s always fun to watch them realize they´re not a Good person. I like to say "Your soul is like a mirror, if you keep it pure, others will see their own evil reflection in it." But whatever... I just wanted to say that I´m sorry you had to go through this. Be safe.
Being empathetic means feeling other people's pain. There is so much pain out there that it will overwhelm you.
I think she's describing conservative men: I've had that exact conversation with them, it's the "I've got mine" mentality.
I've met some liberal men like that too. Not as many... But yeah. It's when narcissistic traits get out of hand.
I just keep reminding myself if they don't care to understand me or how I feel, they don't care for me. If they hate it when I try to explain how I feel, they hate me. If they try to talk over me or dismiss how I feel, they want me to disappear from my body so they can replace it with a stepford SO.
No she's just describing assholes. It really isn't a gender exclusive issue.
She’s talking about her ex
@@simplenough did you two not just say the same thing?
@@jv-lk7bc I’m being specific
I literally went through this line by line with my boyfriend and then showed him the video after I started laughing at him. He was not amused
@wendellwhispers Found the man with no empathy
Hope you dumped him
You must be a great companion
Ahahaha this is on point.
I’m ‘that’ dude who.. uhm… empathises a bit too much. No wonder I don’t have a lot of guy friends 😅
Maybe u not hot ❤
Hope she sees this bro.
When I think of Summer Smith in a live action Rick/Morty, I imagine this lady
"how does that make you feel?"
Me: "Like every other week?"
Laugh Out Loud funny!
I love Taylor T!
God I love Taylor. You kind of broke the mold in comedy by basically being yourself
Kind of proves the sentiment that a guy's height is not a good indicator of how good of a long-term partner he is.
Who tf would think in such shallow terms to begin with?
@@BBCknewsway too many single women.
lollll
@@wildewaffle9790A lot of women have preferences for height like they do for any other characteristic, but it doesn’t matter as much as men think it does. Men are way more obsessed with height than women are 😂 I mean you’ll get a vid of a woman saying “I don’t mind if a guy is shorter than me” and the comments are just full of men calling her a liar 😂
This!!! 😂
I was like "tall, hot and handsome? That's what you want? And then you complain he lacks empathy?Typical."
She should have chosen a guy with empathy over this Chad. There are more than enough men with empathy, just stop picking the Chads and Tyrones. 🤦♂️
The thing that really makes this amazing for me is. I could just listen to it with no video...and I'd be laughing. I could just watch her emote her way through it with no sound, and I'd be laughing. When both...together...I'm just awash in laughter.
THIS IS SOOO GOOOD
She's so good! It's a shame her late night show isn't a more traditional one. I wish it were mostly her interacting with guests instead of the weird game show format that it is
I predict that Taylor has a great future ahead of her. I don't think we need to worry, this show is probably a stepping stone for her.
I was REALLY excited when I heard she was getting her own late, late show. Then I saw the format and thought it was a pretty douche-y thing to do to her.
I AM still glad she has her own show. AND I think it would be killer if it were a traditional style late-show. Given how well she works crowds, I think she'd be a great host.
@@mdclavey59 maybe they'll transition it.... do a round of game show, then adjourn to a couch chat format after that with the guests or something... I agree the format does her no favours.
She addressed this and said she preferred the game show format. I’ve started to like it more now that I’ve given it a chance
I saw that, @@jessicam3707, and she's such a great person and performer I would've expected nothing less... true or not. I suspect her comment is more one of pragmatism and professional politics than not.
She's so funny. :D
Taylor looks like a special edition Skittle flavor.
F******ng brilliant! 👍👍👍👋👋👋
Or an Easter Hershey kiss!
@@TheTiltShift7 Good catch! +1
@@samk4801 😁
I don't know why, but this really cracked me up. Thank you!
I wish I could go out with Taylor. She's so funny and dreamy🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
This never stops being funny, watched it 3 times n came back when someone commented so i watched it again. Kind of sad its so true, but still FUNNY AS F*CK!
Please Taylor come Back to Europe so i can See your Talent live, ich really Love your Shows and your Authentizity
Please Europe lower your taxes! Maybe then people would stop leaving you ;-)
Hilarious! Keep the jokes coming.... No pun intended😂😅
Ironically, trying to get a guy to come is as easy as trying to get empathy from a woman, just make puppy eyes 😁
🐕
Well, you're half right. I'll let you figure out which half... 😁
@@markuswunsch Nicely done. 😆👍
All I gotta do is think about black widow in that scene where she be leg locking dudes round their faces
@@lofipooper9080 Well if you're unsure why we make puppy eyes just bring us food while undressed and with a big smile on your faces... you'll never be wrong with that kind of response as it works no matter whether we are seeking empathy, are horny or hungry or just lonely and bored ;-)
ended w/brilliant analogy. Although there is a segment that will *completely* miss it...
You mean remembering to put my socks and trolleys in the laundry basket isn't enough?
She’s hilarious
Tall attractive white man here with a successful 20 year marriage. My wife accused me early in our marriage of being born without the portion of human DNA that codes for empathy. I'm still not sure what she's talking about but I developed a mental routine that has helped significantly. When I begin to detect that she needs me to feel a certain way about something, not say something, not do something, but FEEL something, I think "oh, this is that empathy thing again, oh ok, you can do this bud, just find that half-empty gatorade bottle of normal human emotion under the back seat of your mind and take a sip. Not TOO MUCH, she'll think you're lying, just a little bit, there it is, good job. Now just be quiet and let her do the rest of the feeling until she's done." It's worked wonders.
@wendellwhispers Or she's telling jokes, and so am I, and none of us should think too hard about it.
@@flyoptimum None of us should, but no doubt some do regardless.
Taylor is excellent 👌🏽❤
Maybe it's because I'm not hot, but I prefer it when people forget my birthday, because then I don't have to respond to it 😂
True lol
Yeah I need Netflix ASAP
ni är grymmast!!
That doesn't seem entirely fair. I mean, I know a few guys that are like that, but it's hardly repr-
"...Tall, handsome-"
Ah. There it is. :)
😂😂❤❤ Taylor
As a handsome tall straight non white man, I’m proud to say I can empathize. When someone tells me they have a bad day, I go “man that sucks”
Yyyyeeerrr team, furgot yer birdday
My relationship!!!
Man this had me busting up laughing I've done this exact thing with my girlfriend
never been so pride of not being handsome 🤣
Taylor: Imagine your me
Me: OK (Looks down shirt and smiling)
Yes I know it's a Big Bang Theory joke
this is so fucking funny omfg
As a 5’6” man, I have no empathy for tall guys.
Yes, the behavior she describes is to be expected when the sole criteria for selecting male companions are "tall and hot."
@@kevinmadore1794Many men select women based solely on attractiveness. Both sexes do this
@user-zy4wv7yx1z and yet she only chose men as an example, instead of women.
@@sunny3907 So? I find women way more attractive than men (both the physical attraction and their brains). I find I'm much less compatible with males and I see a lot more issues in men than I do women
I am sorry for the rough card you were dealt.
In America, or at least the America I grew up in, a tall handsome white guy who just suits up and shows up for life is almost guaranteed to end up a successful millionaire. Then they get what I call "millionaire's disease" which is the delusion that, because they have "made it", they are better than everyone else at everything. As a lawyer, I learned this disease provides a lot of work for us.
You grew up in a very weird America there. One that very much is not agreeing with statistics, I might add.
@@AntonGudenusIt was the most misogynistic generation in the history of mankind. Boomers.
@@gerryleb8575 If you think, that that was the most misogynistic generation in history, you are sorely mistaken.
A few centuries ago it was much much worse. And in other societies it still is much much worse, than it was in the west for centuries.
Additionally the America of the boomers is now slowly going the way of the dodo. Boomers are now reaching retirement age, and todays America is very different. Though even with boomers the statistics don't agree with you.
Empathy is what a woman wants. Not anything she gives. I've had two wives and a handful of girlfriends in a very long life. They all changed my houses without asking. Took my rooms as their own....without asking. Took my closets . Took my living rooms. Took everything.including the barns and shops. They ALL left the garage for me. IN my own houses. They are all gone and no one changes my houses but me. I learned teh hard facts of life. Women want everything, and they want to give as little as possible to get it. There are no other types. If a man puts his foot down and demands his own spaces, He's a jerk and he's not empathetic or supportive. If a woman takes everything, she's "just trying to help".
So, you dated 4-5 different women, but the problem is not you?
As a tall empathetic white guy I feel like my attractiveness is being called into question. 😅
Funny AND stylish 😎😂 killing it in those jackets 🌟💗
"yes" had me on the floor
Sympathy is: I'm sorry you hit your finger with a hammer - that must hurt, I imagine. Empathy is: I'm sorry you hit your finger with a hammer - I know it hurts because I've done that. You don't need to write a thesis on this.
And then we are collectively telling men:
"You are a man, you will never feel how it feels to be a woman, trying to do so is actually insulting to female plight"
And if you never have hit your own finger with a hammer, you have no idea how and if it hurts. So you can't show sympathy either.
Or maybe try a different perspective:
Sympathy - " Here! This is the ointment to stop the pain of your finger. Use it because I don't want to see your red finger the next morning"
Empathy - " Here, use this ointment and apply it to your finger. It must have hurt hard. I know the pain. Try not to wet your finger for some days and let it heal naturally. It will slowly swell down."
I guess we still have a lot to learn between sympathy and empathy.
If empathy is a topic that learning a lot deal of it will eventually does change how a person treat another,why ..not?
@@imaminidonut2792 - - - Well, the short version is this and there is an important difference: Sympathy is imaginary. Empathy is memory.
I once had an unabridged Websters Dictionary that was published in 1903 and the word *empathy* wasn’t in it.
They knew better then
@@gottesurteil3201 The point is that the word did not exist, yet. Some people have said that Progressives invented the word.
PUTTING A CANDLE *IS* CHANGING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR YOU WOMAN!!
Neither true nor funny. I honestly don’t think there is much difference in empathy between the two genders. But keep spreading toxicity sis!
so good already and she's what? 27?
30 now! But she started at 12 so she's had a lot of time to practise already
😂😂😂😂😂
Realizing my mom must have lied and I’m not handsome.
0:10 I mean... has it occured to you that we might just not like the smell of lavender?
I mean, I don't. Idk about other guys.
She's wonderfully sarcastic about it but yeah unfortunately it's an infamous struggle.
The basketball analogy wouldn't work on me. I don't like sports.
"Okay..! Let's imagine..!? That you're the captain of a starship"
Oh I'd never make Captain. Maybe an Ensign or Lt. j.g.
"Fine! You're an ensign!"
Do I get to take Ops?
"What's Ops?"
HOW am I even DATING you? If you don't know the difference between OPS and CON?!
"Okay how does that make you feel?"
That sucks! I don't like this game!
there are many paths to a similar destination. IDIC ftw :)
"tall handsome white guy" so there's where you made your mistake
LOL
They have strong propaganda
@@simplenough don't believe the hype.
"...forgot your birthday. Now how does that make you feel?"
"It doesn't. Heck, I forgot it too. Why would I care about that?"
Well, that's precisely because you do not care that you cannot expect your relationship to last, be it your friends, your family and the one you claim to love.
When you love someone, you care. You care about their feelings, you care about them being happy.
If you do not, then you do not love them.
If you are unable to love another enough to care, you can be by yourself, and that's fine too.
@@thedevilsadvocate788 Entirely off the point.
The point is only that my birthday doesn't matter, so it wouldn't bother me if someone forgot it, and I probably wouldn't notice because I wasn't aware we'd reached my birthday. The day and people not remembering it is not relevant to my happiness. I feel no worse for it. No matter how much I love the person, and no matter how much they love me. It's that simple.
If anything, them making a thing out of my birthday even though I don't care about it is what would be annoying.
@@thesong7877 Well, people tends to view their birthday as day they want to spend with their loved ones.
If you do not care for your own birthday, that's perfectly fine too. I mean, I don't celebrate mine either, I find it a bother and a reminder that I'm getting older and my time on Earth keeps getting shorter.
But if it is something my girlfriend cares about, I'll make a gesture, because she's important to me.
The way you phrased it made it sound that if your significant other attempted to explained why your indifference to something they value important bothered them, you'd disregard it because "Well, ain't important to me, why would I care that it is to you?"
But as you might have experienced; written statements are often taken at face value, it is hard to evaluate someone's state of mind or intent.
I have totally put a candle in the bathroom and then got mad at my girlfriend when she didn't even comment on it. It's a moment that makes you feel like Willem Dafoe in Spider-Man when the board of directors vote him out of the company
One of the most talented comedian of our time❤
Was this a Ted Talk?
Love her!!!
0:10 If she knew how weird the concept of having candles in the bathroom is for a (straight) man, she might have appreciated it a little more 😊
She's funny
Key to fireman, is trucks.
was that intended to be relevant? if so, needs a little unpacking
@@jv-lk7bc I think it's about "everyone needs his own analogy" thing ;-)
😂
I mean she says this like it's a men problem and not a some people are just assholes problem.
Yes. That's what she said. That's why you need to learn to read subtexts, which was "Empathy is important in relationships".
@@thedevilsadvocate788 Except she didn't say that.
@@Rj-pw7zsShe didn't need to; that's what subtext is
@@thedevilsadvocate788 your subtext, not the subtext. what she said was "tall hot white men"
@@jv-lk7bcOkay, I seriously have to ask; do you know what a subtext is? I am not judging, I am not even condescending, I am genuinely curious. Considering the amount of shit being cut out of schools.
she is funny but listening to her act I worry more and more about her life choices
So many angry triggered men in the comments 😂
I'm a guy and I personally think she's very funny. I say that even as a guy who's generally pretty tough to please with stand up. I also happen to think that men and women are different, and thus flawed in our own unique ways. One of the beauties of life is each sex being there to compliment the other, and keep them in check. I just don't happen to find this particular moment from her special all that funny because it doesn't ring all together true. I consider myself far from TRIGGERED because it offended me
However, while I'll insist that I wasn't offended by this particular bit poking fun at men, I'll also insist that I would make no apologize in saying that men getting offended at a portrayal of themselves isn't something which in principle is inherently wrong. Just because she didn't say something offensive here, does not mean that it's impossible for men to be reasonably offended.
Lol as if women won't cancel you on Twitter for making a joke about women
We just feel bad for how dumb so many people are who find this funny
@@zackwalker1721 but bro its hilarious that men get offended by this so settle down bruh it aint that big of a deal! stop caring so much
lol i agree
my review: shes got great stage presence, and the jokes are well crafted. as far as what shes actually saying goes, her observations about tall, handsome white guys apply to good looking people in general. race and gender dont have anything to do with it - all that matters is the hotness. also rich people have this problem no matter what they look like. really just anyone who is used to being coddled, getting away with stuff, and having their ass kissed. imo hot girls are 10x worse than the guys. their expectation for the world to just mold itself around their whims would be hilarious if they didnt actually get it to happen a decent amount of the time. empathy isnt even in their vocabulary. its so common that movies like heathers and mean girls have been made about it. so why pick on tall handsome white guys? low hanging fruit, thats why.
Any comedian these days has to push the narrative, you know.
I did not find these jokes to be well crafted. I think this is some of her weaker material but she has stage presence and delivery.
Finally someone said it! White men are the REAL victims here!!
/s
Even guys who aren't handsome
True!
Most guys have that "burned out" emotionless state.
They are ready to fight and die but totally not ready for a relationship xD
Girls should ask about empathy as early as they can ;-)
Even women too.
@@igorthelight Women often don't have as much empathy as they think they do.
Candles are crazy though they smell weird and could burn stuff
I was talking to a tall, straight white guy today about just this kind of stuff. And he would absolutely agree that most men (at least around where we live) are like this. We both think it's kind of sad.
I mean...she's right though lol
But why did she focus on men? There are plenty of women that could learn some empathy as well.
1:32 GOD LOVES ME JESUS LOVES ME AHHHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA OMFG :)))))))))
This girl is amazing. What the actual f
ARE young straight guys in the US really like this - apart from the obvious "Chads" ? Or is Taylor - and every other female comedian - exagerating a bit ? Or a lot in order to keep the agenda going ? I'm curious here, as this sees SO carricated to me : )
I mean it's stand up comedy, obviously it's kinda carricated, but I (straight white man) have actually seen this among my friends a lot. German btw so not a purely American phenomenon
I still don't get that basketball team thing but okay maybe it's 'cause I am diagnosed with ADHD, narcissism, psychopathy and OCPD in addition to CPTSD so let's go back to talking about how awesome I am because of that bathroom candle which I stole from home depot to pretend that I fixed my life for you!
Wow you are just a walking symptom.
You are diagnosed with psychopathy?
Her ex likes basketball
She is so right
Women don't empathize (with men) particularly well. Kind of the opposite of what you're suggesting. Just sayin.
It think that's more of a "humanity as a whole" thing rather than a gender thing. We, as humans, do not empathize well with people we have differences with. This is why it takes effort, and that's why interpersonal long-term relationships are hard.
You could reverse that situation and it would work. You could even adapt it to any kind of relationship, and it still works. All you require to understand the story is to understand that one party is making efforts, and the other fails to see or acknowledge these efforts, and/or downright makes none.
That's the concept, that's the subtext. I understand you might just be in bad faith because... well... you are... but that's what's amusing to me. And it allows me to mansplain it without feeling bad about it, because I think my condescending tone is appropriate.
Have a neat day.
kind of the same as what she's suggesting. She never said it only works one way. just talked about her experience because thats what makes sense..
@@jv-lk7bcOh, I sense I'm going to have fun with you today. Go on :D
If getting what you want from a hot man is so difficult, maybe there's a lesson in there. Imagine, just for a moment, that men are human beings. I know it's hard, but I promise there's a payout in imagining that men who don't give most women the tingles are human nonetheless. Now imagine that the message that women constantly put out there about not objectifying women for their appearance or selecting them only for their appearance or valuing them only for superficial reasons might just have applications to women choosing men. I know this is a big ask, but just go with me on this. What if human beings--women or men--who get picked for their appearance learn from their experience that they don't have to be good people or good partners because someone will always pick them for their attractiveness. Maybe the thing that women are always saying about men needing to pick women for who they are on the inside is good advice for how women pick men. I know the idea that there might be a consistent set of rules for men and women sounds wrong on the surface. Give it some thought anyway.
You missed the problem my dear. Women are actually way more prone to pick for internal qualities, compared to men. And know what happens? We find that the way misogyny affects men, is that men notoriously lack on the social and emotional skill sets. Even if they are not pretty men, even if they are not white men, even if they are not men but still boys.
Misogyny cuts men from their archaic feminine aspects. These aspects are shamed in men. Especially BY peer men, but not exclusively aka women, too, can be shaming men and boys for emotions. And basically things are so bad, there's terms like "generalised alexythymia in the male population". In which "alexithymia" is about struggling to sense, discern and/or process emotions.
The whole blasted sexism dynamic and sexistic behaviours particularly (but not exclusively) in men, like ANY form of discrimination, is built on "lack of empathy/compassion" and ppl's inability to simply respect the needs of others, WITHOUT having to experience these things themselves.
It's BECAUSE men are humans, too, that men are affected by sexism just as women are (like with all sides to any form of discrimination). Just that men get privileges, too, (which end up "poisonous", in a sense) where women have to carry the burden for it (which can sometimes come with some incredibly bitter "benefits", in a sense). So, when are ya sweets ready to notice, that your problems and our problems are two sides to the same coin and come in to help sort that out? (Maybe you already are, personally then awesome).
I'm kind of surprised you assumed a lack of awareness, by the way. Actually the more frequent way of women specifically selecting for the pretty boys with lack of character, tends to be a trauma response and more of a Since chances to find a man with sufficient emotional intelligence to sort out the sexism patterns that affect us, is low (as that's how debilitating the effects of sexism are), I may as well at least have some eye candy for as long as it lasts".
I personally do not select this way. On the contrary, you'll see me be fairly unhappy if I fall for a guy with character who's also pretty/attractive, cause I know what 3rd person produced headaches will come with that LOL. But I've encountered the mindset. It tend to be a trauma response that is basically about .... sweetening things up a bit as abuse is so likely, it's basically expected. 😮💨. In fact, women who select lie myself, often end up single or run into men who are a hot mess of trauma and are sweet but a kid on emotional level and will struggle against you on every step of the way of trying help them mature. Ever tried suggesting therapy to men, dear? 😟
Ofcourse there are exceptions. Most of the time (but not always), those men will ne in relationships LOL as that is OUR definition of "top tier partner".
i think that's common sense for most people
@@StarJester Not common enough, I'm afraid.
Awww...the way she scoops millions of people into the same bucket....so empathetic.
😂🤣
1. I don't want people to remember my birthday!
2. I'm not a basketball player and can't imagine being one.
3. I sometimes forget people's birthdays. I remember them mostly because of Facebook.
4. There are a ton of stuff that I don't expect people to remember or do for me. I understand that they are human. I expect no less in return.
And that's ok ;-)
Different people have different needs! Just find your people
The inverse is tough too, when she looks like she can stop traffic but has Mommy/Daddy issues and instead of being the empathetic one needs feelings explained to her.
Doesn't help that society generally throwns on men explaining anything about how they feel.