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I’m worried because I really want that “old love” courtship and dating in my life but it’s really hard to find someone that’s willing to commit, like that statistic pointed out. (ONE IN TEN???) I want to date someone and get married and have kids and be a mother… 😢
Heck no, is awful. I want to meet someone, have chemistry and I don't want to be "talking" to others and I don't want that person to be "talking" to others because I'm not scared of being alone, I'm alone right now and if it doesn't work out that's okay but we don't need to simultaneously have 3 backups just in case. This whole "Liquid love" thing is the worst
Honestly thought the expression "If he wanted to he would" applied to emotional investment. Such as responding to messages, getting to dates on time, meeting friends and finally making a proactive effort to change if there's a problem. No Hermes bag can beat that.
most women use that phrase to expect insane things that they never reciprocate. They literally use that phrase next to "this guy invited me to a date and he didn't offer me flowers after he payed my dinner". And when some people call this girls out they say "my presence on the date is worth all that". I've seen countless examples like this in both real life and online
I wholeheartedly agree. I also thought the saying is applicable when you communicate your needs to your partner and seeing if they do or don’t. Because they can’t read your mind and if they’re not giving you what you want but you hadn’t made them aware, then that’s when I feel like it’s unfair to use this expression 😰 and it’s also a two way street. If they do meet your needs, you also have to meet theirs.
Well, I what I do know is “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.” I Corinthians 13:3-8 John 19:30 ❤❤❤
The "if he wanted to, he would" advice is actually a really good piece of advice, is just been ruined by TikTok. Is a good advice because men tend to struggle to accomplish the bare minimum, if not not even the bare minimum, and are often lazy even in relationships. When I was told "if he wanted to, he would" by my mom when I was crying about my relationship problems, it hit me and made me realize how lazy and unaccomplished that guy was and that I deserved better. About two or three years have passed after that relationship ended, and I got pretty high standards. Not just for men, but for relationships for I can find a healthy one. Plz, relationships is not all about lavish gift giving IN THIS ECONOMY! So I hate tiktok for ruining this.
Right, "if he wanted to, he would" applies to calling/texting you back, spending quality time, putting forth effort to connect and build a foundation of trust in a realtionship. It shouldn't apply to him buying you expensive stuff. Not in this economy, especially.
To be fair though, people can be struggling with their own demons, and it just happens to bleed out into their reoationships with other people. But this is a topic for another day.
I have a friend that actually has this "I am a queen and I need to be treated like one" mentality, but she treats men like peasants.She has extremely high standards but is also bitter because she is still single
I feel a little iffy about this comment because I feel like if tiktok never used this phrase it would still be toxic because it influences the relationship for little to no communication at all. "If he wanted to he would" I feel like you should communicate what you want rather than expect it because not everyone grew up the same. Not trying to make it sound like you were trying to be insensitive, but i understand what you meant.
With the advent of social media, the view on relationships has changed. Some have become more aware of themselves and their relationships, but most are the opposite
This is the reason why I escape into books for grand relationships and love. I just don't expect to see it in real life, people don't respect each other anymore and the outside appearance of their relationship seems more important. Most of my friends that are in relationships are rather unhappy, but because they fear being along, they would rather stay in that relationship than be on their own.
I come from a wealthier family, and I never was taught that expensive gifts are synonymous with love. I personally would much much prefer that my partner cuddles with me and does fun stuff with me, like just taking a walk on the beach or going to a nice cafe. I even consider learning a new language together a way to spend quality time. I would never expect him to buy me expensive bags, shoes or clothes.
My father told me that he loved me every single day. My ex boyfriend used to say "I don't say I love you much, because it loses all meaning if you say it all the time", I told both of them I loved them everyday. Only my father truly loved me though, oh well xo
Omg not my ex sending me a tiktok where someone explained that saying I love you all the time makes it lose its meaning. They didn't want to say it because for them saying i love you would have been a lie them.
I agree with you. I subscribe to “if he wanted to, he would” but that means way more than material gifts. Some of the most touching things my husband does for me are just being there for me when I’m having a rough time at work, listening and offering advice, telling me my anxiety is ridiculous, and even just bringing me a cup of coffee when I’m busy. Hearing about the dating scene through this video makes me realize it’s rough out there for single folks! Things were very easy with my husband ever since we met. We kissed when we first met and we slept together on the third date. Within a few months, we explicitly agreed we were exclusive. I’m 31F.
I don't want to date anytime soon because of personal mental reasons, but, this is one of those external reasons that also make me not want to get involved. Funnily enough, as a socially anxious and introverted girl, quality time makes me feel the best when I'm with friends, so to see the "If he wanted to, he would." seem just materialistic or the situationship culture grow just makes me sad.
I'm the same way to be honest 😂 I love my company but cherish those around me and I'm not social along with being very introverted. I'm not dating because of how I hold myself and how I am with myself and others so, I have trust issues and don't really see as much benefit in it especially how everything is now like I'd rather be alone than miserable 💯
I'm almost 27 and I got into my first ever relationship a month ago 💕 tried dating apps before but it never was sth for me. I'm glad I never felt the rush to get into sth I didn't rlly want. but this time everything feels right🥺 i get to experience everything with someone I love & feel safe with. hook up & the situationship culture would destroy my sensitive little heart I just know it. some may enjoy it but I think for most people it's doing more damage than anything. be brave enough to show others your boundaries guys. don't let anyone play with ur heart, you deserve a love that feels warm & comforting
Wish you all the best! 🎉 I'm 27 and just got into my first relationship literally two days ago 😹 We're officially together since last Sunday. I had honestly thought that it would never happen because I kept meeting the wrong people but also simply because I have high standards. This time it feels different and natural as we've known each other for months when we started dating.
Love has become more of a display to others that you have an amazing romance than actual love, I think that the idea of if he wanted he would is purely for materialistic gain, like I get that some people love gifts and giving gifts, but it bothers me how people would just say that a relationship is bad solely because they don’t give you lots of gifts, when they give you support, they care of you, they help you, they listen to you, their always thinking of you, they remember the things you say and more. A bouquet or a door bag would never measure up to the support that your partner would give you
PREACHHHH!😫i see all this “high value men do this” stuff on tiktok and it’s basically saying that high value men are rich and buy u everything instead of having value in themselves
I had a coworker who would get loved bomb for days by her husband every valentines. Everyone one would ooo and aaa over it, and she hated it. She told him not to do it, and he would anyways. She hated the attention, and he didn't support her in any way the rest of the year. The gifts were never really for her. They were to fool everybody else into thinking he was a good husband to her. She finally divorced him, and she is so happy for it. Buying somebody's love is low effort.
@@ily279 it's even crazier cus for a rich guy buying you stuff takes absolutely no effort. So how is he "high value". Its honestly sad how materialistic our society is becoming. If you don't have money, you're apparently a low value human. It's revolting the way we've normalised calling people low value and rating people on a scale of 1-10 like they're products on a shelf.
Aside from materialism and situationship i also have noticed there is WAY more manipulating and mind games in relationships in modern love. I am not saying this wasn't a problem before in earlier centuries, but i think we are more aware of this today. Psychological terms like gaslighting are more known about now than for example in 1950. I have seen so many videos of "relationship coaches" on here titled something like: 5 ways men/women test their partner's self worth/loyality/maturity etc. It is a bit tragic you have to play mindgames with someone instead of using communication to express your emotions and motivations with them. Great video! 🎉
@@Cyb3r-vz9nh Terms like "gaslighting," "love-bombing," "grooming," and other psych terms are widely misused and misunderstood, diluting the severity and legitimacy behind them. It's harmful. Gen Z and Millenials are turning these into modern lingo/slang without understanding what they really mean. It's also really degrading to put a normal argument between a couple into a "gaslighting" lens when often it's a lack of clear communication. I'm not saying there aren't people who are experiencing these abusive situations; I'm just saying that teenagers and young adults are quick to jump to alarmist language without understanding what they're really saying.
When I say that, I personally mean when someone is observant remembering the small details and when I communicate everything "if he wanted to, he would" would be something I say since I hate repeating myself, so if I did my part to communicate then the rest is on them.
@@0fficialselena__90 Yeah, it's less mind reading and more "if you cared you would put in even a shred of effort", but a lot of women out there are happy to accept scraps so these zero effort folks keep on keepin'
@@0fficialselena__90 every girl says this but i can assure you than not every relationship is failing because of the male side. Clearly this "if he wanted he would" is a toxic mindset to a lot of women.
@@paulogaspar8295 I agree with the "he wanted to, he would" mindset but I personally say that when one I've communicated with someone then its their decision if they want to change or not.
I will take affection (quality time) over gifts any day. I am old school. I will take a song or a letter or poem too. My hubby is a workaholic due to Japanese culture. So I will take all my "gifts" whenever he has time from his busy schedule.
Why are expensive gifts so valued, when literally anyone with enough money can go into a shop and buy it? Buying something is the lowest effort thing ever. It doesn't take love to buy a girl a handbag. It shows that you have money, that's it. Money alone isn't enough to ensure a happy relationship. Making time for you, giving advice, treating you with kindness, doing small things to make your life easier, giving physical affection...that is way more special. Those are the things you can receive only from someone who really loves you. But of course it's not something you can measure easily, so it's not as emphasised in our consumerist culture. When it comes to gifts though, thoughtful gifts (eg cooking your fave food for you, buying you the book they know you want to read, building something for you) mean way more than expensive ones.
Gifts are a love language. Some people don’t want your advice or need you to be “kind”, they want you to pursue your passion with enough grit to make enough money to remove all financial worries. Some people don’t want to give advice or be nice 🤷🏾♀️ problems arise when those two don’t find eachother
I swear situationship is the dumbest thing. Ive dated a girl, to then go into a relationship for 3 months, after which she came to the conclusion she had hoped to fall in love with me but didn't. Nothing is safe anymore.
Love is like a razor blade. Double edge and double pain. The beginning of the video sums up modern love. Anyway, happy Father's Day to all the dads. Well, the non dead beat ones. 😂
That isn't love asshole, that's rejection. Love only will happen with two people who are in love with each other. Go touch some grass if you can't take rejection.😂
in my own oppinion, if they wanted to they would is not about men only. its about anyone who wants to spend time with you. if they wanted you to be at their party they would have invited you. also cut people some slack. some people are struggeling rn and trying to pay for the rent. what? are you just gonna break up with them and break their harts because they are stuggeling? (not to offend anyone, love yall and hope you're doing okey) x, 14 female
I don't think love can be dead for me when my friends share their fries or apple slices. It's a very simple act but none the less sharing or offering ones food when I didn't ask makes me feel thought of since I know they don't have to share and they love the food too but they do anyways knowing I love munching on something. They might just be feeding me so I don't bite though >:)
You can actually have more than one specific Love Language. And your Love Language for Giving (meaning, your preference for showing YOUR love to a recipient) can be the same or different from your Love Language for Receiving (meaning, what makes YOU feel loved). Like for example: You may prefer to show your love through giving gifts, yet you feel most loved when someone spends quality time with you.
when that "if he wanted to, he would" thing started out it was with the context of putting in effort like him coming forward himself to invite you on a date or hanging out instead of you always being the initiator for anything romantic. now it turned into giving gifts which is just dumb. both my bf and me dont have a lot of money so we cant expect any big gifts. But he makes the bed when i have a stressful morning, he does the dishes or he goes shopping and brings me my favourite chocolate bar for a little surprise because he knows what brand I like. yes, if he wanted to he would but it's not only definied by how big and expensive gifts are
Maybe once those who drive this conversation forward are at the age where they want to settle down, this sentiment changes again. I see mostly people at an age where you still discover so much about yourself talk about love like this. Also, don’t let social media distort your view on reality. This is not a reflection on real life, only on those participating in online culture.
I personally am someone who does not like receiving gifts. I just don't really like materialistic things but spending time together, having fun, cuddling, talking are the way to go for me. I know many people love receiving and giving gifts because it is their love language but some people seem to just have a partner BECAUSE they want to get gifts. And the whole "if he wanted to he would"-thing: There should be communication with your partner about this. Your partner should know you enough to know if you like receiving gifts or not. Someone who does not really want to receive gifts often does not really think about getting gifts for their partner because for them it normally would not be a priority.
i needed this rn so for real. bc the "if he wanted to he would" has been so heavy on my mind for the past week. so much im losing my mind. bc then what is love and what is right? i feel like i put way more effort but he puts in effort as well its just that my effort is more grand. and now i want more in return. and idk if i truly want more or its the internet brainwashing me to ask for more
I totally have been feeling the same say tbh! My bf has.never bought me flowers, and it used to kind of make me sad because i love flowers. But then I wondered why is this making me sad, when he does so many other wonderful things? Like cooking with me, spending time with me, physical intimacy, showing love, and including me in plans with his family. Hes the best man ive been with, and id be a fool to let him go 💜 Sorry for the tangent, but this video and your response truly got me thinking. And i think that sadly, social media has brainwashed us into wanting everything at once, immediately; it began with shopping and grew into vast materialism, then it effected our self images and now we are expected to constantly "glow up". And now, its infiltrating our relationships. Its all made everything about materialism and only living life as a flex. Its making a lot of people lose their hearts and spirits, and its heartbreaking.
@@gabriellebaker3070 well but wanting some flowers now and again isn’t impossible for the most part, have u ever communicated this to him? If he can’t get you flowers at least he could reassure you that’s it’s not because he doesn’t love you
@@sakura9959 true. I will mention it. But even then, I know it's not the most important thing, because hes made far greater gestures; throwing me a bday party, always making sure I'm fed and comfortable, takes me dancing, etc. So although i do love flowers, he has shown other loving gestures that mean more to me 💜
People really need to stop acting as though if they don't spend hundreds of dollars on you they obviously don't love you. Give me a break. Focus on someone who will treat you well, not who will buy you that gucci bag on Valentine's day.
I would love to see a video about the culture of manifestation! I feel it’s everywhere now and some people aren’t taking it as seriously as once before! I think your insight would be absolutely incredible
There is nothing better than being loved completely by someone. I spent my 20s single and that was fun and all but I was so lucky to meet the love of my life in my 30s. He puts my happiness first and I trust him completely. I just hope everyone can find that.
I wonder if a relationship based on receiving gifts is called love. It is indeed a certain kind of relationship, but it is not love. I think it's childish to think that that is all it takes for creating "true love". But maybe childishness is what is needed for love, to believe that physical contact between people is special and should be preserved and not eroded.
I think relationships portreyed in social media are extremely toxic. But the moment I stop looking at the social media standard and look around me I see lots of healthy and beautiful relationships. Just remember that the main and utter goal of social media is attention grabbing.
If someone bought me a fancy brand object I’d probably drop it, scream and run away. Receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather he bring me take out.
Same and I'd rather get myself the gift to be honest since they are people who gift things with an ulterior motive so I don't really trust it plus, even the ones who do gift me..I never like the gift and there's no meaning to it.
I've always thought of the love language of gifts to be when someone gifts you something by another person who thought of you when seeing it or thinking that that thing would suit/benefit you. Similar to the saying, "it's the thought that counts," I never really associated the price of the gift in dollars to its actual worth in terms of sentimental value. Just getting a necklace or a bracelet as a gift from Claire's than from Pandora makes me happy. I get that some people like to have expensive stuff and I think that's completely fine, but then they shouldn't expect to depend on someone to give them those things rather than try to get them themselves or else their partner isn't trying enough or doesn't love them enough. Although not a fan of it, one of my friends whose love language is physical touch often rather prefers things like hugs and being close to friends and family physically. For this reason (again, yes I do know that not everybody else will be like this) it's why I think that even if someone's love language is physical touch, justifying one's actions of acting like a couple and having physical intimacy as couples do but then saying that you don't want to put a label on it and only act that way since it's how you express affection, is not how a relationship should continue as. Though I do see it differently if you communicate to the other person from the get-go that the only thing you are looking for is hooking up and not an actual relationship. Of course this is just how I view it and am not saying that other people's beliefs on this topic are completely wrong.
i think "if he wanted to, he would" started out as saying that no matter what materials he had, he would put in the effort you. now it seems to (unfortunately) have taken on a more materialistic meaning. it feels like relationships have become more about showing off, rather than keeping it private. my love language is acts of service and quality time, which gets taken advantage of a lot. being a romantic now feels like suicide in the dating scene
I see a guy these days as being overly romantic as 1. Creepy and 2. Love-bombing-esque and a HUGE RED FLAG. And i love how gen-zr’s think ‘situationship’ is new concept. Y’all act like people who can’t commit have never acted like this before. It’s just more prevalent in our culture because we’ve made everything about sex.
it is so nice to hear someone talking about this. I have been annoyed on how tiktok users showcases how love should be, when it differs for everyone. Thank you girlie
My love language is... show me with your actions, not just your words. Quality time (I do enjoy my alone time tho) Physical touch Words of affirmation Acts of Service Gifts (I couldn't care less about this one) How I show love mostly thoufh... Physical touch (I'm a hugger too!) Words of affirmation Gifts (I love buying thoughtful little gifts for friends, family, anyone lol) Acts of service Quality time (cuz I know some ppl like their me time and thats ok)
Idk about tiktok but love for me is being in 3+ years in relationship where I was absolutely an obese person who lost hope in his life and now I am a fit person who has a stable life does his university+ job so yeah that's love for me all thanks to her and her efforts ❤️
Honestly, gift giving is a nice gesture, but to the point that influencers on tiktok are exploiting it, is extreme. I really love flowers, so it'd be amazing if any of future partners surprised me with some every now and again (and not as an apology), I'd be happy, or if they needed to stop for fuel on the way to see me, they grabbed me a drink. Those small things is what I'd appreciate opposed to designer goods, as I would feel indebted to my partner, especially as I couldn't do the same as I'm still living paycheck to paycheck.
I'M SORRY BUT THE WAR OF HORMONE I WHEEZED 😭😭 but on a more serious note I love zoey's views on the world and love, it makes me think hard about these things. it's so interesting to watch
I agree with this for the most part but through personal experience with my girlfriend, I find that not giving at least a little gift when it comes to a birthday or something you mutually give gifts for is important. My girlfriend didn't get me a birthday gift on my most recent birthday and it made me really upset. I think it's the thought that counts (this isn't including if you've brought up just not giving/getting gifts for any reason, then nothing is expected)
About 10 years ago I had a "friend" in a very toxic and manipulative relationship (tbh she was the problem). He bought her gifts all the time and she would constantly brag about how much he loved her because of all the gifts. These two fought all the time and never seemed to be really happy. A real and loving relationship is hard work, buying gifts (if you have the money for it) is not. Stuff will not make you happy in the long run. It is very sad to see that materialisim is being promoted.
Love nowadays is hard to maintain with both girls and guys doing the minimal in the relationship. There is no right communication that it becomes hard to really understand what your partner wants or expects from you. Due to which giving has become a huge thing for people now, as they can’t seem to know what each of them want to say or express, so they say their feelings through gifting rather than talking.
Yeah but I mean my ex boyfriend got a valentines breakfast and a hoodie and he forgot to give me a present so I told him that this stuff is important to me. Easter came around and I got him a present and he again forgot. He just said sorry and lived happily ever after with the clothes he got from me -_-
Personally don't like physical gifts, its stress trying to get something for an occasion, it's just consumerism for the sake of it, sure if I find something that's special than i'm excited but if not nope. I way rather plan a fun day out and make a memory.
Love is not only a feeling. It's a mixture of a feeling and a commitment, and has nothing to do with money. Gifts are nice, but temporary. People are also looking for their "soul mate" in the sense that there is only one person out there for them. That is such a lie. My husband of 11 years is my soul mate because I married him and I love him. But I've met countless other men I could have also seen myself married to. If life had gone different, my "soul mate" would be different. Young people have to stop worrying so much about having rainbows and butterflies at every moment, stop worrying about committing, and stop sleeping around. Life is too short to be lonely and anxious about who the "right one" is, and too short to just be focusing on your own desires. Committing lifelong to someone who is compatible with you is the most amazing thing! We now have three kids, have laugh wrinkles and stretch marks, serve our community together, and the list goes on... Life is beautiful TOGETHER.
MAKE FRIENDS. REAL CONNECTIONS, REAL HOMIES. out of every relationship i’ve ever had, the most healthy ones were with people i was just friends with first.
In my teen age there was friendship and relationship but now in my adult age there is a situationship and open relationship like seriously i really wanna know who the hell is introducing these kind of ships destroying most beautiful feeling love
omg zoe I have literally been watching your channel since you posted that shoulder stretching video 😆 it's so crazy how your almost at 2 million now! Amazing! 💕❣
There is a small consolation that if you hold yourself to at least the same standard as your partner, there is a great chance of finding someone with a compatible amount of energy they give to the relationship. I've been in lots of ick 'situationships' because I accepted that everyone has a different love language spectrum. But finally finding someone with a matched amount of energy and seriousness to my commitment has shown me my true preferences and how easy it can be with someone who truly cares. We have very different love languages but they are very compatible because we both desire different ways of receiving and giving love. I go hard on giving words of affirmation and quality time and he wants to receive those two the most. He goes hard on giving acts of service and gentle physical touch and that's what I desire most. We talk about how we can tweak things to fit the other person more. We give extra when the other person is going through something hard.
This reminds me of when I was criticized in my class because my love language was gifts, I think the reason why mine is gifts is because I grew up in where my parents were never together and no one never expressed love for each other, and then when i finally got a friend in middle school i just gave her while bunch of gifts to show her i care without saying it the same thing happened with a boy i used to like, i gave him a medical kit (kinda a stupid choice i know) mostly because he said he wanted to be a nurse and because he said he was being abuse (like me) at home, safe to say he thought i was weird 😭 Thankfully my husband now understands and we give each other stupid homemade crap, like recently he gave me a little pom pom spider thing with antennas made out of pom poms, hot glue, googly eyes, and paperclips
I love to give gifts I made myself to the ones I love (friends, family and my lover) such as drawings and sculptures bc they take time to make and during that time I'm thinking about them..I make them with lots of love. My main love language is quality time :)
I think there is a difference between the sentence "if he wanted to he would" and what people portray in social media. I love receiving gifts but I dont think most women mean we want a car. I love receiving gifts of "I went to the seven eleven and bought you this chocolate" "I picked up these flowers for you" "I made this handmade gift" the videos here shows the materialistic side of love. Also, it is important that every person feels loved in a different way. This does not mean they don't appreciate your love but that both acknowledge the love language of the other and make small and kind efforts to make their partner feel love in a way they enjoy.
Here’s an idea. Why don’t you just really get to know someone better before getting physical. Then after a few weeks ask them how they actually feel about you and if they want to move forward to make things official or not. Like why is that so hard? You’ll have little to no regrets and choose the right person for you instead of waiting around because then at least you would know. Just talk. I’m very direct and situationships seem self-inflicted especially if you perpetuate and prolong not knowing what you should just ask out right after a few weeks. And don’t be afraid to show boundaries because that will go a long way and lead to the right person 😉
My love language is HOMEMADE gifts. Buying an expensive well done painting is nice, but I’d prefer the one that a loved one spent a few hours putting their best effort into, even if it’s their first painting ever. It’s goin on my wall forever!!! I literally still have simple hand written notes and cards, my favourite card was a handmade card my vocal teacher gave me and it was very pretty. :)
Being materialistic in love is really stupid. Buy yourself the bag or smth stop expecting it from your lover. Yes, gifts are cute but it doesn't mean that your relationship is working just by expensive gift giving...
Recently was it your birthday? happy birthday!!! I saw that in the about tab you updated the age. Happy birthday again, love, fulfillment of dreams and happiness. thank you for being you and for doing so much for society
I believe “if he wanted to, he would” is not about having standards that are too high or receiving gifts only. It’s literally a byproduct of the modern dating where nobody wants to fully commit and grass is often greener on the other side. I disagree that if a man says he loves you, it’s enough and you should just believe him. He should MAKE YOU FEEL loved and if you’re getting mixed signals of course you’re gonna start looking for that external validation, therefore “if he wanted to, he would”. You can’t blame girls for trying to establish if they have right to feel upset about things or asking for too much (cuz I feel that’s the dilemma for many of us, speaking from my experience and what my girlfriends told me). With that being said, I agree that it has become a toxic trend lately and some people take it too far.
Yep. I treat men how they treat me. If you’re they were going to me like an option, I’m was to use them for whatever they had, and they couldn’t be mad about it. Lol. Idc, I got gifts and experiences out of it. They did it to themselves.
I feel like I got better at showing my past girlfriends love as I got to know them in our relationship. It really helped to ask them about love languages and how they like to receive love. Gift girl: I took her to my grandma's house by the beach. When we got back to college, I gave her a little bag with sand and rocks from the beach. Quality time girl: took her to on a road trip at night, and we made music playlists to learn about each other's favorite music. We had deep conversations and stopped by a Wendy's for some spicy nuggs.
I believe in love. because *I* feel it in myself. i know there is someone out there like me. but... with that being said. humans have become insane in so many ways so it makes sense romance is hit as well. people are selfish. and narcissistic.
If he wanted to (put in the effort and, knowing the girl he is seeing appreciates gifts, come up with a non-expensive hand-made craft, or some food, or even a flower from the park) he would. It's not about competing to see who can afford the most expensive and extravagant gifts, or at least that's not how I perceive it to be.
another reason is that the dating has become digital, and all those apps are like meat-markets(I know it sounds harsh but it is what it is) and people treat dating like shopping at a supermarket every other week, and all that topped by those situationships, hook up culture, and there you have a lot of people stuck being single because if you're not ok with all of that and your values are different it's very tough to find someone who will have similar values
For other gen z who are ACTUALLY capable of doing this if doing LOVE! There are just very few. And even lots of people watching this (maybe even myself) havr just been described in this video without even noticing it.
As a female I can say I HATE when ppl see love just to receive gifts and money, I just want someone to be comfortable with , laugh with and spend time. I can work and save for gifts, not for fun times with someone.
In regards to the 5 love languages: you can give and receive differently as your „main language“. I like to receive words of affirmation. However, i give with physical touch.
I'm gonna be honest:I love receiving gifts, but I never asked my husband to buy me something extremely expensive.Flowers(even though I don't like them very much), sweets, makeup, anything goes.I truly appreciated everything he got me.BUT I also gifted him things, so of course it goes both ways. I have a friend that has this mentality of "I am a queen and I need to be treated like one" but she treats all the men that are interested in her as "peasants".Now, as she grows older and older, she sometimes asks why she isn't in a relationship and is often bitter about that.And the sad thing is that she only wants "situationships" or "friends with benefits", because her standards are set too high
Do you like the direction that modern love is headed?
Also check out treehut’s ocean glow collection at ulta for some easy& affordable self love! rb.gy/rcm3d 🩵
In media hell no. In reality well its a hit and miss.
heck no
I’m worried because I really want that “old love” courtship and dating in my life but it’s really hard to find someone that’s willing to commit, like that statistic pointed out. (ONE IN TEN???) I want to date someone and get married and have kids and be a mother… 😢
Heck no, is awful. I want to meet someone, have chemistry and I don't want to be "talking" to others and I don't want that person to be "talking" to others because I'm not scared of being alone, I'm alone right now and if it doesn't work out that's okay but we don't need to simultaneously have 3 backups just in case. This whole "Liquid love" thing is the worst
I kinda like history, so i know that love never existed. From men's side, actually.
Honestly thought the expression "If he wanted to he would" applied to emotional investment. Such as responding to messages, getting to dates on time, meeting friends and finally making a proactive effort to change if there's a problem. No Hermes bag can beat that.
most women use that phrase to expect insane things that they never reciprocate. They literally use that phrase next to "this guy invited me to a date and he didn't offer me flowers after he payed my dinner". And when some people call this girls out they say "my presence on the date is worth all that". I've seen countless examples like this in both real life and online
@@paulogaspar8295 Those women think they deserve the world and they really don't
I wholeheartedly agree. I also thought the saying is applicable when you communicate your needs to your partner and seeing if they do or don’t. Because they can’t read your mind and if they’re not giving you what you want but you hadn’t made them aware, then that’s when I feel like it’s unfair to use this expression 😰 and it’s also a two way street. If they do meet your needs, you also have to meet theirs.
This
@@paulogaspar8295I think saying most is an overstatement bc it’s not like you’ve dated/met every woman out there to know
Being a hopeless romantic in 2023 is like being a masochist for real.
I feel this pain
Fr
I like to say Hopeful Romantic now. It’s better for manifesting
This
fr
We’ve created a thousand more ways to communicate our feelings, thoughts, and emotions with each other and yet none of us do even though we could.
I don't want to do my homework rn
Well, I what I do know is “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing. Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.”
I Corinthians 13:3-8
John 19:30 ❤❤❤
The "if he wanted to, he would" advice is actually a really good piece of advice, is just been ruined by TikTok. Is a good advice because men tend to struggle to accomplish the bare minimum, if not not even the bare minimum, and are often lazy even in relationships. When I was told "if he wanted to, he would" by my mom when I was crying about my relationship problems, it hit me and made me realize how lazy and unaccomplished that guy was and that I deserved better. About two or three years have passed after that relationship ended, and I got pretty high standards. Not just for men, but for relationships for I can find a healthy one. Plz, relationships is not all about lavish gift giving IN THIS ECONOMY! So I hate tiktok for ruining this.
Right, "if he wanted to, he would" applies to calling/texting you back, spending quality time, putting forth effort to connect and build a foundation of trust in a realtionship. It shouldn't apply to him buying you expensive stuff. Not in this economy, especially.
To be fair though, people can be struggling with their own demons, and it just happens to bleed out into their reoationships with other people. But this is a topic for another day.
I have a friend that actually has this "I am a queen and I need to be treated like one" mentality, but she treats men like peasants.She has extremely high standards but is also bitter because she is still single
Right
I feel a little iffy about this comment because I feel like if tiktok never used this phrase it would still be toxic because it influences the relationship for little to no communication at all. "If he wanted to he would" I feel like you should communicate what you want rather than expect it because not everyone grew up the same. Not trying to make it sound like you were trying to be insensitive, but i understand what you meant.
With the advent of social media, the view on relationships has changed. Some have become more aware of themselves and their relationships, but most are the opposite
:-)
This is the reason why I escape into books for grand relationships and love. I just don't expect to see it in real life, people don't respect each other anymore and the outside appearance of their relationship seems more important. Most of my friends that are in relationships are rather unhappy, but because they fear being along, they would rather stay in that relationship than be on their own.
fr i want my book bf not a real one 😊
same idc if I’m single in real life, my fictional partners and delusions got me 😂
Why don't we respect each other any more:(
I come from a wealthier family, and I never was taught that expensive gifts are synonymous with love. I personally would much much prefer that my partner cuddles with me and does fun stuff with me, like just taking a walk on the beach or going to a nice cafe. I even consider learning a new language together a way to spend quality time. I would never expect him to buy me expensive bags, shoes or clothes.
My husband and I are learning languages together and it’s definitely a lot of fun!
My father told me that he loved me every single day. My ex boyfriend used to say "I don't say I love you much, because it loses all meaning if you say it all the time", I told both of them I loved them everyday. Only my father truly loved me though, oh well xo
Omg not my ex sending me a tiktok where someone explained that saying I love you all the time makes it lose its meaning. They didn't want to say it because for them saying i love you would have been a lie them.
I agree with you. I subscribe to “if he wanted to, he would” but that means way more than material gifts. Some of the most touching things my husband does for me are just being there for me when I’m having a rough time at work, listening and offering advice, telling me my anxiety is ridiculous, and even just bringing me a cup of coffee when I’m busy. Hearing about the dating scene through this video makes me realize it’s rough out there for single folks! Things were very easy with my husband ever since we met. We kissed when we first met and we slept together on the third date. Within a few months, we explicitly agreed we were exclusive. I’m 31F.
Good for you, he sounds like a keeper :)
I don't want to date anytime soon because of personal mental reasons, but, this is one of those external reasons that also make me not want to get involved. Funnily enough, as a socially anxious and introverted girl, quality time makes me feel the best when I'm with friends, so to see the "If he wanted to, he would." seem just materialistic or the situationship culture grow just makes me sad.
I'm the same way to be honest 😂 I love my company but cherish those around me and I'm not social along with being very introverted. I'm not dating because of how I hold myself and how I am with myself and others so, I have trust issues and don't really see as much benefit in it especially how everything is now like I'd rather be alone than miserable 💯
this is making me feel very secure about my relationship,
fuck yeah im doing it right
♥️🎊🎊
good for you girl
Yess
Good for u girl cus how y'all find a guy who wanna actually date in 2023:
@@AUGHHHHHBBG oop its not a guy, i have a girlfriend and we were friends for 5 years before we started dating
I'm almost 27 and I got into my first ever relationship a month ago 💕
tried dating apps before but it never was sth for me. I'm glad I never felt the rush to get into sth I didn't rlly want. but this time everything feels right🥺 i get to experience everything with someone I love & feel safe with. hook up & the situationship culture would destroy my sensitive little heart I just know it. some may enjoy it but I think for most people it's doing more damage than anything. be brave enough to show others your boundaries guys. don't let anyone play with ur heart, you deserve a love that feels warm & comforting
🥹 so happy for u, i wish everything goes well for yall
@@sakura9959 thank you sm 🥺💕 I feel blessed and thankful everyday🥰 for every loved one in my life :)
Wish you all the happiness in the world🥰
@@coletteswinnen6917 thank u💕 I wish u too!
Wish you all the best! 🎉 I'm 27 and just got into my first relationship literally two days ago 😹 We're officially together since last Sunday. I had honestly thought that it would never happen because I kept meeting the wrong people but also simply because I have high standards. This time it feels different and natural as we've known each other for months when we started dating.
Love has become more of a display to others that you have an amazing romance than actual love, I think that the idea of if he wanted he would is purely for materialistic gain, like I get that some people love gifts and giving gifts, but it bothers me how people would just say that a relationship is bad solely because they don’t give you lots of gifts, when they give you support, they care of you, they help you, they listen to you, their always thinking of you, they remember the things you say and more. A bouquet or a door bag would never measure up to the support that your partner would give you
PREACHHHH!😫i see all this “high value men do this” stuff on tiktok and it’s basically saying that high value men are rich and buy u everything instead of having value in themselves
@@ily279and they complaint getting cheated on. The irony.
I had a coworker who would get loved bomb for days by her husband every valentines. Everyone one would ooo and aaa over it, and she hated it. She told him not to do it, and he would anyways. She hated the attention, and he didn't support her in any way the rest of the year. The gifts were never really for her. They were to fool everybody else into thinking he was a good husband to her. She finally divorced him, and she is so happy for it. Buying somebody's love is low effort.
@@ily279 it's even crazier cus for a rich guy buying you stuff takes absolutely no effort. So how is he "high value". Its honestly sad how materialistic our society is becoming. If you don't have money, you're apparently a low value human. It's revolting the way we've normalised calling people low value and rating people on a scale of 1-10 like they're products on a shelf.
@@fammiehf8145 couldn’t agree more! a reminder for everyone: your value is not in your money but in who you are.
Aside from materialism and situationship i also have noticed there is WAY more manipulating and mind games in relationships in modern love. I am not saying this wasn't a problem before in earlier centuries, but i think we are more aware of this today. Psychological terms like gaslighting are more known about now than for example in 1950.
I have seen so many videos of "relationship coaches" on here titled something like: 5 ways men/women test their partner's self worth/loyality/maturity etc. It is a bit tragic you have to play mindgames with someone instead of using communication to express your emotions and motivations with them.
Great video! 🎉
@@Cyb3r-vz9nh Terms like "gaslighting," "love-bombing," "grooming," and other psych terms are widely misused and misunderstood, diluting the severity and legitimacy behind them. It's harmful. Gen Z and Millenials are turning these into modern lingo/slang without understanding what they really mean. It's also really degrading to put a normal argument between a couple into a "gaslighting" lens when often it's a lack of clear communication.
I'm not saying there aren't people who are experiencing these abusive situations; I'm just saying that teenagers and young adults are quick to jump to alarmist language without understanding what they're really saying.
“If he wanted to, he would” is such a cop out excuse to treat someone like your mind-reading servant
When I say that, I personally mean when someone is observant remembering the small details and when I communicate everything "if he wanted to, he would" would be something I say since I hate repeating myself, so if I did my part to communicate then the rest is on them.
@@0fficialselena__90 Yeah, it's less mind reading and more "if you cared you would put in even a shred of effort", but a lot of women out there are happy to accept scraps so these zero effort folks keep on keepin'
@@0fficialselena__90 every girl says this but i can assure you than not every relationship is failing because of the male side. Clearly this "if he wanted he would" is a toxic mindset to a lot of women.
@@pukefiend a lot of women offer scraps but then expect the world.
@@paulogaspar8295 I agree with the "he wanted to, he would" mindset but I personally say that when one I've communicated with someone then its their decision if they want to change or not.
Love still exists, just don't expect it to be picture perfect ❤
I will take affection (quality time) over gifts any day. I am old school. I will take a song or a letter or poem too. My hubby is a workaholic due to Japanese culture. So I will take all my "gifts" whenever he has time from his busy schedule.
Why are expensive gifts so valued, when literally anyone with enough money can go into a shop and buy it? Buying something is the lowest effort thing ever. It doesn't take love to buy a girl a handbag. It shows that you have money, that's it. Money alone isn't enough to ensure a happy relationship.
Making time for you, giving advice, treating you with kindness, doing small things to make your life easier, giving physical affection...that is way more special. Those are the things you can receive only from someone who really loves you. But of course it's not something you can measure easily, so it's not as emphasised in our consumerist culture.
When it comes to gifts though, thoughtful gifts (eg cooking your fave food for you, buying you the book they know you want to read, building something for you) mean way more than expensive ones.
Gifts can be drawings, cards, or a snack, it’s the thought that they thought of you and gave you something.
Gifts are a love language. Some people don’t want your advice or need you to be “kind”, they want you to pursue your passion with enough grit to make enough money to remove all financial worries. Some people don’t want to give advice or be nice 🤷🏾♀️ problems arise when those two don’t find eachother
I swear situationship is the dumbest thing. Ive dated a girl, to then go into a relationship for 3 months, after which she came to the conclusion she had hoped to fall in love with me but didn't. Nothing is safe anymore.
It's like what happens in arranged marriages 😂
i feel like that's fair.
@@beel.8655 It should be something you make clear before entering a relationship
I don’t see what’s wrong with that? Isn’t the point of dating and getting into a relationship to see if you love the person??
@@GravityFallsUp yeah that's how i see it as well.
My love language is peace of mind so I don't date anyone 😂
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
💯💯💯
Hahaha me and you both! I stick to books now 😭
🔥🔥🔥
Love is like a razor blade. Double edge and double pain. The beginning of the video sums up modern love. Anyway, happy Father's Day to all the dads. Well, the non dead beat ones. 😂
That isn't love asshole, that's rejection. Love only will happen with two people who are in love with each other. Go touch some grass if you can't take rejection.😂
The whole "situationship" seems like a cop-out to commitment.
in my own oppinion, if they wanted to they would is not about men only. its about anyone who wants to spend time with you. if they wanted you to be at their party they would have invited you.
also cut people some slack. some people are struggeling rn and trying to pay for the rent. what? are you just gonna break up with them and break their harts because they are stuggeling?
(not to offend anyone, love yall and hope you're doing okey)
x, 14 female
I don't think love can be dead for me when my friends share their fries or apple slices. It's a very simple act but none the less sharing or offering ones food when I didn't ask makes me feel thought of since I know they don't have to share and they love the food too but they do anyways knowing I love munching on something. They might just be feeding me so I don't bite though >:)
You can actually have more than one specific Love Language. And your Love Language for Giving (meaning, your preference for showing YOUR love to a recipient) can be the same or different from your Love Language for Receiving (meaning, what makes YOU feel loved). Like for example: You may prefer to show your love through giving gifts, yet you feel most loved when someone spends quality time with you.
when that "if he wanted to, he would" thing started out it was with the context of putting in effort like him coming forward himself to invite you on a date or hanging out instead of you always being the initiator for anything romantic. now it turned into giving gifts which is just dumb. both my bf and me dont have a lot of money so we cant expect any big gifts. But he makes the bed when i have a stressful morning, he does the dishes or he goes shopping and brings me my favourite chocolate bar for a little surprise because he knows what brand I like. yes, if he wanted to he would but it's not only definied by how big and expensive gifts are
Maybe once those who drive this conversation forward are at the age where they want to settle down, this sentiment changes again. I see mostly people at an age where you still discover so much about yourself talk about love like this.
Also, don’t let social media distort your view on reality. This is not a reflection on real life, only on those participating in online culture.
I personally am someone who does not like receiving gifts. I just don't really like materialistic things but spending time together, having fun, cuddling, talking are the way to go for me. I know many people love receiving and giving gifts because it is their love language but some people seem to just have a partner BECAUSE they want to get gifts.
And the whole "if he wanted to he would"-thing: There should be communication with your partner about this. Your partner should know you enough to know if you like receiving gifts or not. Someone who does not really want to receive gifts often does not really think about getting gifts for their partner because for them it normally would not be a priority.
I hate gifts because it makes me feel like i owe something to someone, even if they say they don’t expect anything lol
i needed this rn so for real. bc the "if he wanted to he would" has been so heavy on my mind for the past week. so much im losing my mind. bc then what is love and what is right? i feel like i put way more effort but he puts in effort as well its just that my effort is more grand. and now i want more in return. and idk if i truly want more or its the internet brainwashing me to ask for more
I totally have been feeling the same say tbh! My bf has.never bought me flowers, and it used to kind of make me sad because i love flowers. But then I wondered why is this making me sad, when he does so many other wonderful things? Like cooking with me, spending time with me, physical intimacy, showing love, and including me in plans with his family. Hes the best man ive been with, and id be a fool to let him go 💜
Sorry for the tangent, but this video and your response truly got me thinking. And i think that sadly, social media has brainwashed us into wanting everything at once, immediately; it began with shopping and grew into vast materialism, then it effected our self images and now we are expected to constantly "glow up". And now, its infiltrating our relationships. Its all made everything about materialism and only living life as a flex. Its making a lot of people lose their hearts and spirits, and its heartbreaking.
@@gabriellebaker3070 well but wanting some flowers now and again isn’t impossible for the most part, have u ever communicated this to him? If he can’t get you flowers at least he could reassure you that’s it’s not because he doesn’t love you
@@sakura9959 true. I will mention it. But even then, I know it's not the most important thing, because hes made far greater gestures; throwing me a bday party, always making sure I'm fed and comfortable, takes me dancing, etc. So although i do love flowers, he has shown other loving gestures that mean more to me 💜
@@gabriellebaker3070 that’s nice :) im glad to hear that
People really need to stop acting as though if they don't spend hundreds of dollars on you they obviously don't love you. Give me a break. Focus on someone who will treat you well, not who will buy you that gucci bag on Valentine's day.
I would love to see a video about the culture of manifestation! I feel it’s everywhere now and some people aren’t taking it as seriously as once before! I think your insight would be absolutely incredible
There is nothing better than being loved completely by someone. I spent my 20s single and that was fun and all but I was so lucky to meet the love of my life in my 30s. He puts my happiness first and I trust him completely. I just hope everyone can find that.
I wonder if a relationship based on receiving gifts is called love. It is indeed a certain kind of relationship, but it is not love. I think it's childish to think that that is all it takes for creating "true love". But maybe childishness is what is needed for love, to believe that physical contact between people is special and should be preserved and not eroded.
My love language is physical. I enjoy getting hugs and pats from the people close to me.
I think relationships portreyed in social media are extremely toxic. But the moment I stop looking at the social media standard and look around me I see lots of healthy and beautiful relationships. Just remember that the main and utter goal of social media is attention grabbing.
still watching but your HAIR😍
Same
If someone bought me a fancy brand object I’d probably drop it, scream and run away. Receiving gifts makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather he bring me take out.
Same and I'd rather get myself the gift to be honest since they are people who gift things with an ulterior motive so I don't really trust it plus, even the ones who do gift me..I never like the gift and there's no meaning to it.
Omg you are SO not like other girls
this hair is so cute
I've always thought of the love language of gifts to be when someone gifts you something by another person who thought of you when seeing it or thinking that that thing would suit/benefit you. Similar to the saying, "it's the thought that counts," I never really associated the price of the gift in dollars to its actual worth in terms of sentimental value. Just getting a necklace or a bracelet as a gift from Claire's than from Pandora makes me happy. I get that some people like to have expensive stuff and I think that's completely fine, but then they shouldn't expect to depend on someone to give them those things rather than try to get them themselves or else their partner isn't trying enough or doesn't love them enough. Although not a fan of it, one of my friends whose love language is physical touch often rather prefers things like hugs and being close to friends and family physically. For this reason (again, yes I do know that not everybody else will be like this) it's why I think that even if someone's love language is physical touch, justifying one's actions of acting like a couple and having physical intimacy as couples do but then saying that you don't want to put a label on it and only act that way since it's how you express affection, is not how a relationship should continue as. Though I do see it differently if you communicate to the other person from the get-go that the only thing you are looking for is hooking up and not an actual relationship. Of course this is just how I view it and am not saying that other people's beliefs on this topic are completely wrong.
i think "if he wanted to, he would" started out as saying that no matter what materials he had, he would put in the effort you. now it seems to (unfortunately) have taken on a more materialistic meaning. it feels like relationships have become more about showing off, rather than keeping it private. my love language is acts of service and quality time, which gets taken advantage of a lot. being a romantic now feels like suicide in the dating scene
I see a guy these days as being overly romantic as 1. Creepy and 2. Love-bombing-esque and a HUGE RED FLAG. And i love how gen-zr’s think ‘situationship’ is new concept. Y’all act like people who can’t commit have never acted like this before. It’s just more prevalent in our culture because we’ve made everything about sex.
life exists after the credits. thats it. that is the tweet
it is so nice to hear someone talking about this. I have been annoyed on how tiktok users showcases how love should be, when it differs for everyone. Thank you girlie
My love language is... show me with your actions, not just your words.
Quality time (I do enjoy my alone time tho)
Physical touch
Words of affirmation
Acts of Service
Gifts (I couldn't care less about this one)
How I show love mostly thoufh...
Physical touch (I'm a hugger too!)
Words of affirmation
Gifts (I love buying thoughtful little gifts for friends, family, anyone lol)
Acts of service
Quality time (cuz I know some ppl like their me time and thats ok)
2 million soon!!!! Congratz! You looked gorgeous this video (and every video, but this one specially)
Idk about tiktok but love for me is being in 3+ years in relationship where I was absolutely an obese person who lost hope in his life and now I am a fit person who has a stable life does his university+ job so yeah that's love for me all thanks to her and her efforts ❤️
Honestly, gift giving is a nice gesture, but to the point that influencers on tiktok are exploiting it, is extreme. I really love flowers, so it'd be amazing if any of future partners surprised me with some every now and again (and not as an apology), I'd be happy, or if they needed to stop for fuel on the way to see me, they grabbed me a drink. Those small things is what I'd appreciate opposed to designer goods, as I would feel indebted to my partner, especially as I couldn't do the same as I'm still living paycheck to paycheck.
I'M SORRY BUT THE WAR OF HORMONE I WHEEZED 😭😭 but on a more serious note I love zoey's views on the world and love, it makes me think hard about these things. it's so interesting to watch
You always hit the unexpected topic that i really love....
The war of hormone's mv was just......perfect 😂
I agree with this for the most part but through personal experience with my girlfriend, I find that not giving at least a little gift when it comes to a birthday or something you mutually give gifts for is important. My girlfriend didn't get me a birthday gift on my most recent birthday and it made me really upset. I think it's the thought that counts (this isn't including if you've brought up just not giving/getting gifts for any reason, then nothing is expected)
Girl what💀you had 1M subs like yesterday and now you almost have 2M ! You deserve every single one
About 10 years ago I had a "friend" in a very toxic and manipulative relationship (tbh she was the problem). He bought her gifts all the time and she would constantly brag about how much he loved her because of all the gifts. These two fought all the time and never seemed to be really happy. A real and loving relationship is hard work, buying gifts (if you have the money for it) is not. Stuff will not make you happy in the long run. It is very sad to see that materialisim is being promoted.
Love nowadays is hard to maintain with both girls and guys doing the minimal in the relationship. There is no right communication that it becomes hard to really understand what your partner wants or expects from you. Due to which giving has become a huge thing for people now, as they can’t seem to know what each of them want to say or express, so they say their feelings through gifting rather than talking.
Loved this video. Also your curly hair looks very good!
Yeah but I mean my ex boyfriend got a valentines breakfast and a hoodie and he forgot to give me a present so I told him that this stuff is important to me. Easter came around and I got him a present and he again forgot. He just said sorry and lived happily ever after with the clothes he got from me -_-
You look really beautiful with these hair ;)
Personally don't like physical gifts, its stress trying to get something for an occasion, it's just consumerism for the sake of it, sure if I find something that's special than i'm excited but if not nope. I way rather plan a fun day out and make a memory.
Same!
I do love gift giving, but it can also be in a small way, bringing home their favorite snack, beer, wine etc.
Love is not only a feeling. It's a mixture of a feeling and a commitment, and has nothing to do with money. Gifts are nice, but temporary. People are also looking for their "soul mate" in the sense that there is only one person out there for them. That is such a lie. My husband of 11 years is my soul mate because I married him and I love him. But I've met countless other men I could have also seen myself married to. If life had gone different, my "soul mate" would be different. Young people have to stop worrying so much about having rainbows and butterflies at every moment, stop worrying about committing, and stop sleeping around. Life is too short to be lonely and anxious about who the "right one" is, and too short to just be focusing on your own desires. Committing lifelong to someone who is compatible with you is the most amazing thing! We now have three kids, have laugh wrinkles and stretch marks, serve our community together, and the list goes on... Life is beautiful TOGETHER.
MAKE FRIENDS. REAL CONNECTIONS, REAL HOMIES.
out of every relationship i’ve ever had, the most healthy ones were with people i was just friends with first.
In my teen age there was friendship and relationship but now in my adult age there is a situationship and open relationship like seriously i really wanna know who the hell is introducing these kind of ships destroying most beautiful feeling love
let's just take a moment to appreciate how amazing Zoe looks in this hairstyle 🔥
Another great topic that needed to be addressed😭 Everything said is true.
I thought ‘if he wanted to he would’, but then I also thought, ‘why wait, I could’. Turns out he didn’t want to, so he didn’t. But at least I know!
thank you for discussing this topic, people really need to lower their standards 😭😭
Zoe you are looking absolute BOMMMMMMMMMM🔥🔥
omg zoe I have literally been watching your channel since you posted that shoulder stretching video 😆 it's so crazy how your almost at 2 million now! Amazing! 💕❣
There is a small consolation that if you hold yourself to at least the same standard as your partner, there is a great chance of finding someone with a compatible amount of energy they give to the relationship. I've been in lots of ick 'situationships' because I accepted that everyone has a different love language spectrum. But finally finding someone with a matched amount of energy and seriousness to my commitment has shown me my true preferences and how easy it can be with someone who truly cares. We have very different love languages but they are very compatible because we both desire different ways of receiving and giving love. I go hard on giving words of affirmation and quality time and he wants to receive those two the most. He goes hard on giving acts of service and gentle physical touch and that's what I desire most. We talk about how we can tweak things to fit the other person more. We give extra when the other person is going through something hard.
This reminds me of when I was criticized in my class because my love language was gifts, I think the reason why mine is gifts is because I grew up in where my parents were never together and no one never expressed love for each other, and then when i finally got a friend in middle school i just gave her while bunch of gifts to show her i care without saying it the same thing happened with a boy i used to like, i gave him a medical kit (kinda a stupid choice i know) mostly because he said he wanted to be a nurse and because he said he was being abuse (like me) at home, safe to say he thought i was weird 😭
Thankfully my husband now understands and we give each other stupid homemade crap, like recently he gave me a little pom pom spider thing with antennas made out of pom poms, hot glue, googly eyes, and paperclips
I love to give gifts I made myself to the ones I love (friends, family and my lover) such as drawings and sculptures bc they take time to make and during that time I'm thinking about them..I make them with lots of love. My main love language is quality time :)
I think there is a difference between the sentence "if he wanted to he would" and what people portray in social media. I love receiving gifts but I dont think most women mean we want a car. I love receiving gifts of "I went to the seven eleven and bought you this chocolate" "I picked up these flowers for you" "I made this handmade gift" the videos here shows the materialistic side of love. Also, it is important that every person feels loved in a different way. This does not mean they don't appreciate your love but that both acknowledge the love language of the other and make small and kind efforts to make their partner feel love in a way they enjoy.
Here’s an idea. Why don’t you just really get to know someone better before getting physical. Then after a few weeks ask them how they actually feel about you and if they want to move forward to make things official or not. Like why is that so hard? You’ll have little to no regrets and choose the right person for you instead of waiting around because then at least you would know. Just talk. I’m very direct and situationships seem self-inflicted especially if you perpetuate and prolong not knowing what you should just ask out right after a few weeks. And don’t be afraid to show boundaries because that will go a long way and lead to the right person 😉
You're so lana coded I'm gonna cry😩😭
It isn't the gifts etc. it's the fact you feel underappriciated and unseen
Your hair looks SO CUTE I LOVE IT
We want the video about situationships now!!
situationship is basically friends with benefits
I’ve never had a boyfriend, all I want is someone normal and attractive, yet some people be wanting Chanel bags as a weekly gift wtf 😢
My love language is HOMEMADE gifts. Buying an expensive well done painting is nice, but I’d prefer the one that a loved one spent a few hours putting their best effort into, even if it’s their first painting ever. It’s goin on my wall forever!!! I literally still have simple hand written notes and cards, my favourite card was a handmade card my vocal teacher gave me and it was very pretty. :)
Can't wait for the situationship video ! I really like how you dissecte those topics ✨ thanks you a lot
The thing is most of the people are loving the feeling of love instead of the person
I LOVE UR HAIR!!
Being materialistic in love is really stupid. Buy yourself the bag or smth stop expecting it from your lover. Yes, gifts are cute but it doesn't mean that your relationship is working just by expensive gift giving...
0:00 I wanna know know know know, WHAT IS LOVE iykyk 2
Recently was it your birthday? happy birthday!!! I saw that in the about tab you updated the age. Happy birthday again, love, fulfillment of dreams and happiness. thank you for being you and for doing so much for society
I believe “if he wanted to, he would” is not about having standards that are too high or receiving gifts only. It’s literally a byproduct of the modern dating where nobody wants to fully commit and grass is often greener on the other side. I disagree that if a man says he loves you, it’s enough and you should just believe him. He should MAKE YOU FEEL loved and if you’re getting mixed signals of course you’re gonna start looking for that external validation, therefore “if he wanted to, he would”. You can’t blame girls for trying to establish if they have right to feel upset about things or asking for too much (cuz I feel that’s the dilemma for many of us, speaking from my experience and what my girlfriends told me). With that being said, I agree that it has become a toxic trend lately and some people take it too far.
Yep. I treat men how they treat me. If you’re they were going to me like an option, I’m was to use them for whatever they had, and they couldn’t be mad about it. Lol. Idc, I got gifts and experiences out of it. They did it to themselves.
I feel like I got better at showing my past girlfriends love as I got to know them in our relationship. It really helped to ask them about love languages and how they like to receive love.
Gift girl: I took her to my grandma's house by the beach. When we got back to college, I gave her a little bag with sand and rocks from the beach.
Quality time girl: took her to on a road trip at night, and we made music playlists to learn about each other's favorite music. We had deep conversations and stopped by a Wendy's for some spicy nuggs.
love can be tricky, bcz of the chaos that exists wherever you go.
Tik Tok is filled with a bunch of girls who aren’t in the right state for love, but are addicted to the feeling.
I believe in love. because *I* feel it in myself. i know there is someone out there like me. but... with that being said. humans have become insane in so many ways so it makes sense romance is hit as well. people are selfish. and narcissistic.
I loved the "a war of hormones?" Part😅😅😅
I smile every time you show Alivia in your videos XD
If he wanted to (put in the effort and, knowing the girl he is seeing appreciates gifts, come up with a non-expensive hand-made craft, or some food, or even a flower from the park) he would.
It's not about competing to see who can afford the most expensive and extravagant gifts, or at least that's not how I perceive it to be.
another reason is that the dating has become digital, and all those apps are like meat-markets(I know it sounds harsh but it is what it is) and people treat dating like shopping at a supermarket every other week, and all that topped by those situationships, hook up culture, and there you have a lot of people stuck being single because if you're not ok with all of that and your values are different it's very tough to find someone who will have similar values
Im a teen and have never been in a relationship bc I want a GENTLEMAN and I’ve not came across one of those as of yet 😭❤️
For other gen z who are ACTUALLY capable of doing this if doing LOVE! There are just very few. And even lots of people watching this (maybe even myself) havr just been described in this video without even noticing it.
As a female I can say I HATE when ppl see love just to receive gifts and money, I just want someone to be comfortable with , laugh with and spend time. I can work and save for gifts, not for fun times with someone.
In regards to the 5 love languages: you can give and receive differently as your „main language“.
I like to receive words of affirmation. However, i give with physical touch.
I'm gonna be honest:I love receiving gifts, but I never asked my husband to buy me something extremely expensive.Flowers(even though I don't like them very much), sweets, makeup, anything goes.I truly appreciated everything he got me.BUT I also gifted him things, so of course it goes both ways.
I have a friend that has this mentality of "I am a queen and I need to be treated like one" but she treats all the men that are interested in her as "peasants".Now, as she grows older and older, she sometimes asks why she isn't in a relationship and is often bitter about that.And the sad thing is that she only wants "situationships" or "friends with benefits", because her standards are set too high