#TheLoveHour
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- #TheLoveHour | Who Wears the Paints in Your Marriage?
In today's episode Melissa and Kev talk about the events that occurred over the course of the past week.
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Thank you for watching today's video!
In today's video, Kevin & Melissa discuss:
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As a married women I can say being married to a man that can SEE, HEAR and VALUE you is LIFE GIVING. It doesn’t mean we don’t ever disagree. But my role in the relationship does not suffer when we do. 💯🙌🏾 #dumpbossymen #iprayedforthis
Im happy for you!!!
Yaaasss!!
Yes sis!! Yes!!! I’m right here with you on that!
I love this! 🥰🙌🏽
People mistake being the leader as being in control.
A good leader creates the dynamic of a non control culture. But we know most people bosses are controlling
A leader does have control, by definition a leader is somebody that has authority. Being a leader doesn't have to mean being a dictator though.
Say that again for the people at back please 👏🏾🙏🏾🙌🏾
As much as Melissa isn’t recommending to watch that podcast, she’s giving valid selling points to watch it, so I will be watching it and when I cry like a baby I’ll be blaming you Melissa lol
Heed the warning. It is NOT a good cry.
Omg I listened to the first season in one go. And it’s a tearjerker for sure
@@theOriginalELDunbar omg, I’m still going to watch it though. It seems like once that hard part is over receiving that final message will be worth it.
I have finished listening to it and u will like u lost ur whole family. Is a Heart wrenching cry. Trigger warning ⚠️ ⚠️
I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only person who went to watch it. It’s a heart hurting podcast but it’s beautiful
When I date and submission comes up, I always ask as to what their definition of 'submission' is to them.
Look at Kev with the smooth transitions. I see you Kev
Angel’s skills been rubbing off 😅
Angel-esque skills
@@DrJoPsyD I was just going to say that 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Church hurt is real. When you do a show on it, I hope we’re (your audience) brave enough to WANT to heal from it.
INSERT PRAISE BREAK @ “ SHE REALLY IS SAYING I DON’T TRUST YOU”!! I’m the woman who has been told by my mom, dad (they been married 35) and the guy I currently talk to I hate being submissive. It’s because I DONT TRUST MEN. Including my dad! Melissa go ahead and get that counseling certification. I just had a BREAKTHROUGH!
Partnership. Kevin said good leadership is taking input from your generals and soldiers. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and you lean on your partner when you are weak and they are strong.
Based on what Ive seen, Ive either rarely seen partnerships or most married men Ive seen(emphasis on IVE SEEN) do what the wife says to keep the peace even when they are against doing something. And when it comes to buying houses and stuff, the wife makes the decision. The husband just funds it
It’s an issue that many folks believe there has to be a leader in a marriage.
THIS!!!!
Yes Melissa! 👏🏽👏🏽I felt that when you said lack of submission is a lack of trust! Oooh that hit home!
Real talk!
@16:58 I feel like part of the issue is that people are prejudice against Dwayne because he is supportive of his daughter.
He's not falling in line with the patriarchal values that alot of people in the black community prescribe to so to them, his "credibility is shot " no matter what topic he speaks on.
Not just that, but his dress style changing to what is perceived as effeminate and his wife letting the world know she "has his legs in the air" has given the perception that he was never a leader, and she wears the pants.
@@PrsWater8 like Kev said that marriage works for them. Let em be
He doesnt have a daughter he has a son
I am, in real time, leaving a relationship because he felt like leading meant I have no say or opinion in our life or relationship worthy of him entertaining. 🤦🏾♀️it sucks
I'm glad you recognized and left.
@@applejackzo I have been seeing so many messages, such as this podcast, that have let me know I am on the right path. Definitely thankful @mrskevonstage and Kevin for having these conversations.
So glad that you are in process of leaving! People bastardize 'leading' and I'm just so proud of you ❤❤
Oh, Please do an episode or series on "Church Hurt"!! When you can spiritually and emotionally handle it. I think with your thoroughness, it would help ALOT of people. Maybe Patreon it! (so much value in the content). I have an extensive background in church and ministry as well and it is interesting the take that the pastorate often takes verses the lay-people and there is an awesome middle ground that is biblical and overlooked by both sides.
Love y'all!
Melissa, I was enlightened by your thoughts about the sovereign One (God) giving me free will and agency and choice over my mind, body, and spirit. Why would a divine God give us that, only to surrender it to a human? Such great insight. It also reminds me of how everyone misquotes Ephesians 5:21-25. God calls for MUTUAL submission. And if your believing spouse does NOT love you how Christ loved the Church, your obligation to submission is something you need to sort out in a licensed Christian therapists office. It’s hard to honor the dishonorable. God calls us to not be fools, to confront evil, and not turn a blind eye. People get the message so wrong and then try to craft marriages out of false and toxic faith/theology. That’s my ✌🏾 cents
My thoughts when she said autonomy over her own body was this: GOD gave us individual autonomy over our bodies. GOD also gave men access to override our autonomy over our bodies. Then GOD also gave women ways to access man's autonomy over his free will. It would be more powerful to accept the whole circle.
I definitely agree that not wanting to.be submissive is because of a lack of trust. I also would add that it is a lack of safety.
“OJ... doesn’t work.... it kills as a nickname.” - Kevin 🤣🤣🤣🤣 @KevOnStage you is a straight fool!!! 😂😂😂😂🤦🏻♀️😅
Melissa: Don't listen to that podcast!
Me: Ok
Me: clicked subscribe
Please keep speaking on Church Hurt, it's real and affects a lot of us, we just don't wanna talk about it. There's freedom in sharing
Angel is sitting back looking at that Ritual Ad saying "Ahhh...I've taught you well grasshopper" LOL Nice transition Kev! Wonderful topic that I think my husband and I will discuss as well!
First off, i had to go to therapy for church hurt, its so reallll.
And regarding the submissive conversation, Melissa hit it on the head regarding trust. You hear a lot (especially targeted towards Black women) that they're not soft, they're too hard. And I'm like can they trust you to be gentle with them? You don't give a reckless child an egg, cuz chances are they'll break it. It's definitely a defense mechanism. For ppl who have been disregarded a lot, it can feel like that will be the default.
Kev. I have been listening to your voice almost daily for the last 1.5 years. You need rest... please. I heard the fumble-athon on HTT and you had similar fumbles in the Tour Vlog. Please rest easy. This schedule is too much.
Good looking out Divadee!
Oh that Hey Tom moment on HTT it literally scared me. That's not normal. I definitely prayed for him.
I experienced religious trauma and I kept calling it “church hurt”, I wish. I have TRAUMA from church,& I’ll probably never go back🤷🏾♀️
I think legitimate traumatic experiences that people go through in Church are labeled as 'church hurt' far too often. It is condescending at best and dismissive at worst. We the church need acknowledge that we have allowed wolves to come in and devour God's sheep. I'm so sorry you experienced that and I genuinely hope you can find healing.
It's something about the way Melissa tells a story and Kev's reactions with the team in the background. lmao
Come on Melissa!!! It always means, "I 👏🏾DO👏🏾 NOT👏🏾 TRUST👏🏾 YOU!!"
Off topic but Melissa's photo shoots give me life
The description of the way Jo receives and gives love is the focal point of acceptance that many people in romantic relationships have such a hard time understanding.
I commend you as parents for allowing that to be what he needs and gives without making it wrong.
I just ended a relationship because the person was so unwilling to accept what I could give and receive even after trying hard to do it his way. It was draining and made me feel like something was wrong with me.
Therapy has helped me to navigate it.
agreed, it's actually so beautiful and not as common as it should be to understand and accept the way your child wants to be loved and to respect their boundaries. If more parents were this intentional with raising their kids, we'd have a lot more well-adjusted adults. I don't plan to have kids, but I love learning about relationships and parenting through Liss and Kev learning along the way!
I think the issue is that people too often thing that trust solely revolves around whether or not someone will cheat/infidelity, when it's so much more than that. Can I trust you to make decisions that will benefit our family? Can I trust you to care for me and the family should I become incapacitated? Trust is a major issue in many relationships, and I think people don't learn how to express their needs in a way that builds trust. Post I Do's is not the time to realize that your partner in life is self centered, no good with money, etc. We need to learn to better express our needs, and to understand that needs change over time.
Who wears the pants in marriage? There are two Christian perspectives on this: Complementarianism and Egalitarianism. Complementarianism interprets Scripture as it is God's will for men to lead in marriage. Egalitarianism interprets Scripture thusly: in Genesis we don't see human hierarchies come into play until after the fall, so we should live towards God's intended purposes for humanity rather than toward social structures that came out of the fall. (Paul, Women, & Wives by Craig Keener is a great book on this by a theologian who loves God and Scripture)
Growing up AME, we embraced egalitarianism. As a methodist woman pastor, it has been a blessing to my walk with God and the way I relate to my man.
I'd love for you guys to comment on the different perspectives one day. Love your show!
I wasn't discussing marriage, but I told my cousin being respected is better than being feared. The docile wife, children, employees, or whatever if they fear you over years recement is going to build up and those are the ppl that usually are too afraid to confront you, but may end up taking you out in the end lol
I love the way Kev expressed what leadership and submission is!
That part Melissa!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 How you gonna submit to someone you see always heading for the cliff in all the big decisions of your life. It's a hear my side and it be a democracy or a Nah for me! Don't just Trust a poor track record because He is the man/head of the house... And he must be able to value your view on issues also, it's a Partnership.
More men need to hear this conversation. We (women,) already know this.
That's EXCELLENT Melissa!!! "I don't trust you."
Plz do an episode on church hurt.
It’s 11:30pm....I just finished binging that podcast & now idk what to do with my life. Wow, I feel like I should have taken your advice to not listen but I’m also glad I did. Wow life changing.
You better bring THAT life saving, life giving, life sustaining TV y'all.
Thank you for sharing your gifts!
I’m literally going through this in my marriage this season. This conversation was so helpful! 🥰
I can't stand how the world is trying to completely change the man's role in the home. And lots of times if it's not required some men will never lead.
Sunday night in Tacoma 🙌🏾 I met Joshy 🤗🙌🏾
Malissa! It’s too late! it’s too late. 😭😭😭I got hooked to the podcast and cried my eyes out
When you talked about church hurt, I felt seen. I need to explore this more. 😩
Kev and Melissa, I'm just watching this episode. Yes the Word says women be submissive to your husband, but MOST people forget the earlier verse says we are to submit to one another as unto Christ. And the Word says he is to be the head, but not necessarily the leader.
Truth is, you have to be HEAD enough to know your wide should LEAD in certain situations!
That church hurt/disappointment is real. It can take a minute to get over it.
Melissa.... I Love The Look.. Looove Church jokes.... U are his #1 cheerleader...You neeed to do a church hurt series...... Truly a process
These are reflections of marriage that I would love to have in my own. Yeah, every marriage is different BUT God is their SOLID FOUNDATION so yes...I love how he respects her acknowledges her considers her opinion knows she is not to play with and how she loves her husband respects his authority allows him to be him and so many other attributes that I’ve witnessed between them since watching them. I love y’all so much I love the God in y’all💞💞💞
So not a lot of people talk about what it looks like for a man to submit to a woman. Because in the Bible it works both ways but nobody ever talks about it. I think that would be a great conversation, not sure if you guys have talked about that or not. Also I’m not fully done watching this video. So if they get to it don’t attack me. And if they’ve talked about it before, please inform me. Thanks
Hmm you mean like getting down on one knee and asking for her hand in marriage?
@Kaycee D, I agree. It’s glossed over so much. There’s also the directive for husbands to dwell with their wives according to knowledge and honor them so the husband’s own prayers can be answered…it’s a win-win.
@@cTRudeboy asking for a woman’s hand in marriage is submission? Because by that logic then a woman saying yes is her submission. What I’m saying is, actively in a marriage. What does it look like?
Because submission was created by patriarchy and keeping women down, which isn't what Christians want to hear. No shade
@@firstname8348 the world just like your view dont understand what the bible means by submission
When I tell yall, how much im looking forward to this food show!!
Its the words of affirmation, love and encouragement that Kev give Liss for me! ❤
The guy Molly had sex with in the hospital was polyamorous. They met before that encounter but didn't see each other regularly. She got out the hospital after that encounter. Nikki spoke to the guy after Molly told that story and after Molly passed. It seemed like that encounter was more of Molly not letting cancer take away pleasure and her ability to engage in life. Is it bad that as you retell the stories, I could see myself listening to it again in the future😭? It was such good story telling. Hearing Nikki talk about all the plans they had for a season 2 in her interview made me sad. It was hard hearing her say they thought they had more time. They actually did 3 special episodes during the pandemic. They interviewed "Toyota guy"/guy that ejaculated outside the car (Scott) on the dating episode. It was really good and even weird to listen back to the early moments of the pandemic in the US.
Mel supported Kevin doing that move and that neeeds to be recognized. But see it all worked out
I finished Dying for Sex in 1.5 days and it broke me in half. But it truly was a gift! So inspiring and had a genuinely life-changing lesson: What will you do with the time you have left?
Y'all should really have Devi Brown on the LH podcast! Watching this reminds me how self-aware and self-processed y'all are and she is very much the same way, which is amazing. I think the 3 of you in 1 "room" would bring sooooo much wisdom and valuable insight.
Melissa is radiating subliminally🦋
I recently sat in an interview and the director stated "a leader is not a boss and a boss is not a leader" and his sharing of that perspective made accepting the position all the more easier. 🙌🏾
"Let your marriage be defined by what works for you and your marriage"!!!!!! Tell them AGAIN Kev!!!!
Protein shakes - Try Fairlife CorePower (26g protein)/Elite (42g protein). Delicious, no chalky taste or feeling. A bit more expensive, but very much worth it.
I TOTALLY understand you Liss! I get really engulfed into someone's life once I find read, watch or listen to someone interesting. #kindredspirits
💯 agree
Melissa never misses a beat !
Now, I HAVE to listen to this podcast!
Update, I'm on the last episode of the podcast, and I'm glad for Melissa spoiled it. It was a good trigger warning... Helped me not be so triggered. Thoroughly enjoyed the story-telling. Liss stay putting us on to the good things!
Such sound & refreshing information! Thank you!
Yes. Church hurt left me without faith. I'm fine being non-religious, but a piece of me misses it. That's my story and I appreciate Melissa's validation.
We as wives are supposed to submit to God, which means being submissive to our husband's which submissive means under a plan, I learned that in church and happy for it because it showed me the true definition of being submissive to my husband
Please MrsKevOnStage have a look and review Blue Therapy. (its on youtube) its so up your street/genre/vibe etc. And note I speak from a place of I feel I know you well. Thank you please. *Don't go into twitter trends comments too much or it will spoil it.
Well now I’m going to listen to the podcast and while I’m at it I’m going to just finally start listening to podcasts on the place you’re supposed to listen to podcasts.
I just love ya'll.... The realness of the conversations. kml
I absolutely love how reflective Melissa is! You really encourage me to be more reflective in all things.
I'm older than you and have learned a lot from you guys so I love it when you spoke on submission.I believe it's in line with biblical teaching
There's literally a scripture in the bible telling wives to submit to husbands. And preachers who can't preach take that at face value saying all husbands or men when he means men who have showed themselves as a good husband in terms of quality. Anybody can be a husband or wife. Its deeper than just being one
Liss you gotta do the Church Hurt episode. Pleeeeease!!!!
I really like her energy! New subscriber!!!!💪🏾🤗
Love this podcast..happy whenever a new one comes out BUT Kevin please let Melissa complete her sentences😢..sometimes she’s about to say something real good & you cut her off and throw the whole thing off😔😣
Also trigger warning for sexual abuse with that podcast. I said the same thing. I would never reccomend Dying for Sex to anyone but I'm glad I listened. My tears started when she talked about interviewing people to help her die. I can see this podcast being a movie. When she talked about a trip being planned for her on the final episode, baby it was over😭😭😭. Had to force myself out the house the day I finished or I would have been crying all day.
I love you guys such wisdom! Thanks so much for your obedience with Love Hour!
I can’t wait until the church hurt episode! I literally was triggered yesterday and am still processing! Love y’all! Stay blessed 😘
My son is LB3. They love saying it on the football field 🤣🤩
I really like this format, with 3 different segments.
I listened to the podcast right after Melissa mentioned it last week. Maaaaaaaannnn. I anticipated what Episode 6 was going to be about and still wasn't fully ready. It's a beautiful ending, all things considered.
The way I’m enjoying this marriage content 😊😊(single by the way)The tangents 😂😂😊
I literally said, “she pee’d in that man mouth while going through radiation and chemo?! She gon kill him 😂😂😂😂”
I'm EJ so thanks for saying I'm ok Kev lol.
I definitely finished that podcast and was tore up crying in my car on the way home from work lol
this is off topic but we need a Joshy cam!
I agree
My oldest is Kenneth II and we just call him KenKen. I refused to do Jr. bc I didn’t want ppl calling him KJ or Junior or any variation of Junior 🤷🏽♀️ Plus Kenneth II Esq. flows better than Kenneth Jr. Esq. 😏😄
Hey. Love you guys. I just wanted to ask if you could remaster the intro song? I always skip through it because it sounds harsh on the ears
Dying for sex was AAAMMMMMMAAAZING!! I cried and laughed and was inspired as well.
I'm glad Liss talked about the podcast because I needed that warning. I think I'm going to give it a listen though. These were some good transitions Kev lol
My husband is a junior. Some of his family calls him AJ & others call him junior. Most people have no idea he’s a junior. lol
In tears Melissa!!!! I did it.. I listened to the doggone podcast chile. I thought I was gonna be able to thug it out but I did not 😂😂😂
I am definitely listening to the Podcast now. Loved the first episode!!
Oh my word! You mentioned it live and I started it immediately after....*phew* it started all fun and belly laughs and by the time I was in episode 6, I was in bed ugly crying using my sheet to wipe it all. 😭😭😭
I love this episode is was great to see
Omg Kevin....COMING & GOING at the same time.... I was trying not to laugh but I can't help it 😂😂😂
I need to get a good cry, will listen, thanks Liz.
My dad is a junior. The 3rd actually. His nickname is June. My brother is the 4th. We called him Lil Willis growing up.
I hate the “lil” names. That’s how your big and tall uncle gets call “lil Derrick” when he 50 6’5” and 300 lbs. My dad was Edward Jr all his life then when my grandfather passed they Finally started just calling him Edward at 60+.
@@HopeGrant423 Lol true. My brother happens to be the smallest of the boys though. Both in height and weight. Also, my siblings and I don’t call him Lil Willis anymore. Just when we were kids.
My husband is a II and our son is III. Husband goes by their middle name, son goes by Trey
We call our son LJ short for Little John.
I'm gonna listen to the podcast😭
I defiantly listened to Dying for Sex and absolutely balled my eyes out lol but I couldn't stop listening
Nah that warning didn't phase me. I'm about to listen 😇 let the existential crisis begin (again)
I'm an OJ
Off Topic - Check out Costa Rica for special time.