You managed to concentrate all the awkwardness and chemistry-free interactions between these 3 couples to the point where I no longer believe in the concept of love. 😊
This was extremely helpful. I've been with my wife since Nov 2007 and feel this would've been stronger had we had this video. It's prevented us from needing marriage counseling and we've had 3 kids since the month ago this was posted (the last half of this wasn't true)
Look, I am a new subscriber, but I was watching your stuff on mystery science, theater. I’m 42 newly married, and I really need this in my life right now. Please don’t ever stop making these.
don't besmirch Coleman's name with this trash, the man had a vision! A very dark, grey and pointless vision, but a vision nonetheless! Nguyen wishes he had parking scenes as Coleman
How dare you drag Ed Wood through the mud like that?! He brought us movies with GREAT looking girls in GREAT looking bullet bras! All hail ED WOOD!!!!!
Remember, guys, any attractive blonde is literally just standing around waiting for your inappropriate advances and modest financial success to sweep her off her feet.
Watched the whole thing, but I forgot to take notes. I watched it again and my notes were confusing; “Talk like on Valium and smile like on toilet. Learn to fish and collect seaweed. Fall in love with clone.”??? So had to watch it a third time and all I could think was “needs more parking scenes in this JN guide to love…”. I hear people go NUTS for it when selecting a mate. Dating is hard!
4:41 Don't joke about that: it is a gift like none other. Now she will know that if her breath is taken away while she is with you, shellfish isn't the reason.
I've used james' guide to love and it's helped out my romance life a ton! however, he left out the part where you use the rope and duct tape. that's the most important part.
I have to say, Julie and Jack is one of my top 5 favorite riffs ever. That said, I have come to appreciate all the work people put into these movies. Is James Nguyen a good writer or director? Not really. But he has the guts to do what his passion is. The actors (generally) are pretty iffy (Whitney Moore being an exception-- she seems to have had a pretty nice career). But hey, they're out there doing what they want to do for a living. Same with all the crew involved. I may laugh at the riffs, but I can still acknowledge the people are putting it out there.
"...Signs that your date is going poorly: You have to tell her 'Don't touch the rotting carcass'..." I've had some good dates and I've had some bad dates, but I have never, NOT ONCE, had to utter those five words on a date. Matter of fact, I don't think I've had to use the word "carcass" on a date, in any context.
I am always so curious about Patsy van Ettinger, the "mother to all" in Nguyen films... she's been in like every one. Is she connected to him in some way?
11:55 - Now THAT'S a helluva romantic dating idea: take her to Payless! When she sees how much of a cheapskate you are, she'll be like putty in your miserly hands!
And (spoilers) It’s funnier when you realize that Julie is dead and put herself into the simulation just for a random, not her grieving family and friends
You can tell that (The Room) has truly inspired a new generation of third-rate writers, trust fund babies turned actors, who had an afternoon free, and truly bad directors.
3:11 can you sit with your legs within the same state, technology doesn't exist that you're going to get any action through a phone call... and THATS NOT THE PITCH FOR THE NEXT MOVIE!
I can't hate James. Yeah, his movies have a lot of flaws but I've enjoyed the three I've seen. Though, I could say the same about Coleman Francis and Ed Wood or Neil Breen. There's a lot worse out there.
Say what you want about James Nguyen, at least he's made movies. Somehow... through some terrible, blatant oversight by the film board's quality control department.
James Nguyen is perpetually so passionate about the next scene he's going to shoot that he dare not do a second take of the current one. Ever.
“Keep rolling!”
Not true. Rod himself was on the RiffTrax Twitch channel recently and revealed that James would routinley do around 20 takes for scenes
@@Snake4985 Somehow, knowing that fact does not comfort me.
“I’ll kick your ass up your shoulder blades” is a quote I will get a lot of mileage out of
This is the best cure ever invented for a lonely Valentine's Day. "Sure, I might be alone. But at least I'm not Rod."
"Let's do that scene again" ...words never spoken by James Nguyen.
He's way too beesvee, mkay
That's 1 of the ways that he keeps the budget under $10,000.
"Keep rolling!"
"Don't forget your Valtrex!" should be a message on those candy hearts.
My favorite aspect of these movies is how all the characters have the exact same mom.
The best Valentine's gift I could ask for. Thank you, Rifftrax.
You managed to concentrate all the awkwardness and chemistry-free interactions between these 3 couples to the point where I no longer believe in the concept of love. 😊
_”Understand the concept of love!”_
This was extremely helpful. I've been with my wife since Nov 2007 and feel this would've been stronger had we had this video. It's prevented us from needing marriage counseling and we've had 3 kids since the month ago this was posted (the last half of this wasn't true)
He's emoting AS HARD AS HE CAN!
Rod, Joe, and Jack.... Legends of romance
It was supposed to be a musical, but he couldn't afford to license the songs from PornHub and QVC.
They’re truly the holy trinity of bland himbos
@@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing 😂
@@C.V317 Hopefully more to come
They said nothing and no one could make the programming on the Hallmark channel look like the Cannes Film Fest, but dammit Jimmy....you nailed it
Look, I am a new subscriber, but I was watching your stuff on mystery science, theater. I’m 42 newly married, and I really need this in my life right now. Please don’t ever stop making these.
click on their channel and check out the full movies playlist
Oh, _Replica..._ The perfect combination of EVERYTHING going wrong.
I always laugh when you sing the "Hitting On" song 🤣
I'm so immature 🤦🏻♀️😂 #stockoptions
Just hittin on.
Hittin on...
Hittin on family members.
Got some attractive cousins! @6:32
We have a definite new winner of the Ed Wood/ Coleman Francis worst filmmaker award, James Nguyen.
don't besmirch Coleman's name with this trash, the man had a vision! A very dark, grey and pointless vision, but a vision nonetheless! Nguyen wishes he had parking scenes as Coleman
Neil Breen would like a word.
@@Eisenwulf666 LMAO yes he had a dark, muddy vision...with some cars, and everybody drinking coffee 😏😆😁
flag on the moon...
How dare you drag Ed Wood through the mud like that?! He brought us movies with GREAT looking girls in GREAT looking bullet bras! All hail ED WOOD!!!!!
Thanks, guys! ❤❤
Happy VD to you! ❤
I keep hearing the theme song from "Lowered expectations".
As soon as that lottery ticket hits I'm going to buy every single rifftrax ever
Can you buy the people who help James Nguyen to not get him to put out another film ever again?
My G-d, these leading men make the guys in “The Room” look like Don Juans!
Remember, guys, any attractive blonde is literally just standing around waiting for your inappropriate advances and modest financial success to sweep her off her feet.
Just work in software... it gets them excited
Please, guys, please! Riff Birdemic 2!!! That would be an instant Rifftrax Classic!
Well, a third Birdemic is out....
@@rifftrax Welllllllll then Riff II and III !......We have plenty of coat hangers! Uh oh! I hear a mountain lion! It was really nice meeting you!
"I'm not a bad lover, I'm just written, performed and filmed that way."
Watched the whole thing, but I forgot to take notes. I watched it again and my notes were confusing; “Talk like on Valium and smile like on toilet. Learn to fish and collect seaweed. Fall in love with clone.”??? So had to watch it a third time and all I could think was “needs more parking scenes in this JN guide to love…”. I hear people go NUTS for it when selecting a mate.
Dating is hard!
5:05 - "Uh, Mr. Nguyen? I forgot my line a sec there. Can we redo that scene? No? Okay"
Romance in a James Nguyen film is of similar quality to dramatic moments in a Michael Bay film
Speaking of James Nguyen, he did release Birdemic 3 last year. I hope Rifftrax crew gets their hands on his latest "blockbuster."
Can confirm that we have seen Sea Eagle.
Oh God, there's a Birdemic 3. Ugh. I think I'd rather have dental surgery than sit thru that without Rifftrax
How did it get funded?
@@daelen.cclark a miracle, Nguyen blackmailed ppl, or Nguyen is a trust fund kid
@@racheledwards2352 Or James is so inept that he can just maybe coast through life.
I know what I'm watching on Valentine's Day
4:41
Don't joke about that: it is a gift like none other. Now she will know that if her breath is taken away while she is with you, shellfish isn't the reason.
🎵 hitting on family members 🎵 😂😂😂😂
Got some attractive coooooouuSINS!
Just hittin on,
hittin on...
Hittin on family members.
Got some attractive cousins. @6:32 😂
Gotta keep love in the family
Love means never having to say *SLRPNLS*
_Soulpanz_
But can I get a discount?
I laughed!
@@Teatime4Tom 50% off!
Good Vietnmse Rstrant.
9:47 It's not too hard to imagine she's saying, "Yeah, I got an ADDICTION I've gotta prepare for."
Birdemic: Shock and Terror is one of America's finest $10k-budget films of 2010
I've used james' guide to love and it's helped out my romance life a ton! however, he left out the part where you use the rope and duct tape. that's the most important part.
I have to say, Julie and Jack is one of my top 5 favorite riffs ever. That said, I have come to appreciate all the work people put into these movies. Is James Nguyen a good writer or director? Not really. But he has the guts to do what his passion is. The actors (generally) are pretty iffy (Whitney Moore being an exception-- she seems to have had a pretty nice career). But hey, they're out there doing what they want to do for a living. Same with all the crew involved. I may laugh at the riffs, but I can still acknowledge the people are putting it out there.
Jack describing how everything is a simulation and Kevin just keeps saying "WHAT!?" is RiffTrax Gold.
I still don’t understand how James Nguyen got Tippi Hendren in Julie and Jack. She probably had a much better experience on that set than the birds
This is so romantic! ❤
From here to Nguyenternity.
Love is just hanging out with your family
I think Leer Mode is already engaged. He is out side out a carousel, alone, just standing there.
I mean I can't really make fun of any of them, since they're all somehow STILL less awkward than I am
Awesome compilation! 💕🍷😆
4:03 - Preacher guy is the same guy as the singer in all Birdemic movies.
6:22 still my favorite
I just imagine all the Oscars that were thrown at these actors. 😍
The actors also have to imagine all their rewards.
You mean Oscar Mayer hot dogs, right?
But where can I learn the definition of "Being Beckied"?
Remember, folks: True love is the only way to get the Stellachip Salesperson of the Quarter Award
I find that talking about slrpnls really keeps the ladies' interest in me.
That Wedding almost made me vomit..LOL...way to Go Rifftrax LOL!!
I mean James Nguyen is no Tommy Wiseau, but he's still pretty good.
Well, from a distance.
1:06 '...Love is forever...and all that stuff...' I seems that Rod McKuen lives on...
The Nguyen Guide to Stalking Women til they Love you
2:37 "You gave me hump!" LOL
sure you are brotha.
"...Signs that your date is going poorly: You have to tell her 'Don't touch the rotting carcass'..."
I've had some good dates and I've had some bad dates, but I have never, NOT ONCE, had to utter those five words on a date. Matter of fact, I don't think I've had to use the word "carcass" on a date, in any context.
The Jack guy from Julie and Jack or whatever was kind of sweet, though. Awkward, but sweet. The most likable of all James Nguyen's protagonists, imo.
That dude makes the dude from The Room look like Laurence Olivier lol
I am always so curious about Patsy van Ettinger, the "mother to all" in Nguyen films... she's been in like every one. Is she connected to him in some way?
Rod himself was on the RiffTrax Twitch channel recently and revealed that she was a producer on his films
Our bowling alley has a guy that looks just like Rod.
11:55 - Now THAT'S a helluva romantic dating idea: take her to Payless! When she sees how much of a cheapskate you are, she'll be like putty in your miserly hands!
Just hitting on, hitting on family members.
That is going to be the next film?
Jack if you love me , you'll stay away.
Says the one who went on a virtual dating program 😂
And (spoilers)
It’s funnier when you realize that Julie is dead and put herself into the simulation just for a random, not her grieving family and friends
8:16-Thats the same mom from Birdemic!
As long as your love interest is blonde, you definitely have a shot.
And you're a white salesman
...and skinny!
more like James Nguyen's Guide To stalk and get a restraining order made against you.
I wish I could hang around to comment but I hear a mountain lion and I gotta get back to my house!
You can tell that (The Room) has truly inspired a new generation of third-rate writers, trust fund babies turned actors, who had an afternoon free, and truly bad directors.
After watching Birdemic, this movie makes want to eat goodvietnamiserestraunt!
Love, American Style.
James Nguyens 50 first (imaginary) dates
"Better something something than 'Twilight'"
10:53 Literally every man 💯😂😂
After watching this montage, Cupid would denounce love.
I can't wait to watch this when I'm less beezbey.
I will never love or trust again!
There are few movies where the audience gets it @08:35
Rod is a plank of wood.
This train wreck hurts my ears... but I can't look away. Ladies, yes, he is really still thinking about that late 90s tramp stamp.
I still have to ask , how the heck did Nguyen get Tippi Hendren in his movie????
I’ve wondered that myself!
Sadly, she never had a big career after Hitchcock blackballed her for blueballing him. I imagine she needed the paycheck.
What is happening??
3:11 can you sit with your legs within the same state, technology doesn't exist that you're going to get any action through a phone call... and THATS NOT THE PITCH FOR THE NEXT MOVIE!
I couldn't do it, I couldn't watch all of it in one sitting
When it comes to bad love advice from bad directors, best to stick with Tommy Wiseau: "Yew know wut dey say: LUFF ES BLAWND."
Holy CRUD this looks awful! XD I'm going to have to get this one; I laughed way too hard at this 12 minutes "cliff notes" video.
It's three different Nguyen movies...they do just blend into one nightmarish 'love' story though.
Beez V
Oh thank God its not longer
A great video on how NOT to romance ze wimmens
Ah James, you tried so hard….
I can't hate James. Yeah, his movies have a lot of flaws but I've enjoyed the three I've seen. Though, I could say the same about Coleman Francis and Ed Wood or Neil Breen. There's a lot worse out there.
Oh believe me, there are a looooot worse.
@@rifftrax He's certainly no Donald Farmer
@@rifftrax when will rifftrax riff neil breen!!
@@redvelvetunderground I'm guessing Breen will not agree to release the rights. His ego couldn't take the riffing fun.
😂😂😂😂😂
It’s still less painful to watch than the State of the Union address.
A series of dull guys going on low energy dates with very easily impressed women.
What? No dating advice from Mark Stevens?
Legal is currently looking at that advice
Solar panels? That's the way to really turn a girl on!
I’m extremely beusy
Ver Gud Vietmese Restaurant + Soller Pnls = Exactly 1 Billion Dollars
Oh my god this exists. 😡
Not to overstate the obvious, but James Nguyen isn't very good at filmmaking.
romance and hitchcock made for people who bought into juicero and NFTs
Say what you want about James Nguyen, at least he's made movies. Somehow... through some terrible, blatant oversight by the film board's quality control department.