Therapist Reacts to A MONSTER CALLS

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  • Опубликовано: 29 авг 2022
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    How do you face grief and loss? How can you let go - of people, of pain, of control?
    Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright discuss the grieving process through the film A Monster Calls. They take a look at what to do when you feel powerless and can't fix things, how we can face the pain of a situation, the loss of a parent, and the beautiful storytelling and filmmaking in this movie. And of course they cry a lot!
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    Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
    Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, and Alan Seawright
    Edited by: Trevor Horton, tzhediting.com
    Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
    English Transcription by: Anna Preis
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Комментарии • 1,5 тыс.

  • @CinemaTherapyShow
    @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +137

    Click here www.helixsleep.com/cinematherapy for up to $200 off your Helix Sleep mattress plus two free pillows! Jono's loving his new mattress! #helixsleep

    • @researcherchameleon4602
      @researcherchameleon4602 Год назад +6

      Can you please make a video on “Wolfwalkers”, and how it portrays children coping reacting to oppressive environments

    • @mallorycarpinski1160
      @mallorycarpinski1160 Год назад +2

      LOVED this ad!

    • @Zarola
      @Zarola Год назад

      Can you look into Korean movies like Oldboy, A Tale of Two Sisters, Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, or Miracle in Cell .07 if they are not too adult for this group?
      Or the Chinese movie "Youth"? Aside from the politics of it I feel like the romantic ideal of the prefect guy was shattered and withered for the protagonist. The relationships that spawn from having a group of teens in a travel troupe living together exclusively.

    • @CaloMunch
      @CaloMunch Год назад +1

      I watched this movie with my step-dad and brother about 2 weeks after my step-dad's dad died of cancer. needless to say we were all crying. It's a beautiful movie and we all loved it, it was just to soon.

    • @maryumgardner5958
      @maryumgardner5958 Год назад +1

      Can you do "The Babadook" next please? It also tackles with grief

  • @roodyroo6
    @roodyroo6 Год назад +3216

    What makes it sadder is that the author of the original book (Patrick Ness, who also wrote the screenplay) didn't start the novel himself; another author, Siobhan Dowd, came up with the concept and characters, but she was suffering from breast cancer, and wasn't going to live long enough to write the story, so Ness was asked to write A Monster Calls for her.

    • @pompe221
      @pompe221 Год назад +288

      So that's why the book heavily implies that Connor's mother has breast cancer.

    • @hannahchitty-finch7738
      @hannahchitty-finch7738 Год назад +100

      That's so fucking heartbreaking. She didn't get to see her idea - no doubt coming from her pain and experience - come to life.

    • @pizzakillerskyresia7506
      @pizzakillerskyresia7506 Год назад +84

      Also the actor lost his mother before getting this role

    • @omarpride3021
      @omarpride3021 Год назад +4

      @@pizzakillerskyresia7506 which actor?

    • @pizzakillerskyresia7506
      @pizzakillerskyresia7506 Год назад +19

      @@omarpride3021 the child

  • @lkeke35
    @lkeke35 Год назад +2952

    I liked how the grandmother smashes the comes in and smashes the cabinet too, because we forget while watching this movie that her grandson isnt the only one in pain. She's in pain too. She's losing her child and she is going through all the same feelings that her grandson is experiencing.

    • @ilenastarbreeze4978
      @ilenastarbreeze4978 Год назад +85

      Yep. Only difference is she has q fully developed brain structure and so many years of experience

    • @Zubstep1315
      @Zubstep1315 Год назад +183

      @@ilenastarbreeze4978 and so many years of bonding with her child… she understand the gravitas of the situation more than him yet has the same cathartic reaction.

    • @theekatspajamas
      @theekatspajamas Год назад +149

      @@ilenastarbreeze4978 yeah, that's why she didn't smash a whole room like he did. Plenty of adults have issues handling anger. That's why we have things such as boxing, those rooms that you can pay to smash shit in, and what this whole channel is about: therapy. Losing a child fucking sucks, she's allowed to not handle it perfectly well.

    • @saturated3821
      @saturated3821 Год назад +84

      @@ilenastarbreeze4978 As an adult, I can't imagine a worse pain than my child dying while I'm still going. Me? As long as my kid and other loved ones were okay. My mother? Painful, but she's old, it's natural that at some point you have to let go. But one's own child? Oh no. Years of experience won't ever prepare you for that.

    • @brookeboland9711
      @brookeboland9711 Год назад +5

      parents don't love their children. no parent that i've ever seen in passing or known personally has ever known what love actually is and fails to love anyone outside themselves. parents are selfish, praise thirsty, gaslighters.

  • @violetfolgi
    @violetfolgi Год назад +2447

    Lewis MacDougall, the kid who plays Connor, is absolutely brilliant in this film. You'll see he doesn't have many more credits, and I don't know if he's still pursuing acting at all or not, but he nailed this role. Talking about the audition process, Bayona (the director) said that most kids would act desperately sad and cry their eyes out, while Lewis did something different. He was angry. Angry and silent and repressing the emotions and perhaps teary eyed, but angry. And it portrayed perfectly what Connor goes through in the story. Lewis had lost his mother to a terminal disease when he was eleven years old, and played this role just a couple years later if I'm not mistaken. And I think that's a huge part of why his performance really comes through and hits.
    He did a wonderful job and I feel like it was so brave of him to take up on a role like this. I hope it felt healing for him too.

    • @UmbraKrameri
      @UmbraKrameri Год назад +159

      Wow, I didn't know about that. Interesting how this was such a personal story to many involved. The book it was based on was coathored by Siobhan Dowd, who lost her battle to breast cancer while conceving this story, and Patrick Ness, fellow writer and friend who she asked to finish the story after her passing.

    • @UmbraKrameri
      @UmbraKrameri Год назад +118

      Also, Bayona just has a special talent for directing kids. His previous movie before this was The Impossible, where he also got a gut-wrenchingly raw performance out of a similar aged Tom Holland and even the two younger child actors did a good job in the movie.

    • @violetfolgi
      @violetfolgi Год назад +34

      @@UmbraKrameri absolutely!! I love Bayona's filmography. his first big film (produced by Del Toro

    • @UmbraKrameri
      @UmbraKrameri Год назад +11

      @@violetfolgi Same. :) I mean, I will watch the LotR series for sure, but this is more the type of stuff I hope he will keep making.

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq Год назад +37

      Agreed, he was only 14 in this film, yet he was absolutely phenomenal. He's also been in "Pan" and three episodes of "His Dark Materials", so he has plenty of time to pursue other roles.

  • @roftherealm3418
    @roftherealm3418 Год назад +719

    I first saw this movie on an airplane. I cried so hard that the flight attendant, who didn't speak English, came over with napkins and was very concerned about my well-being.
    At the time, I was really struggling with my mental health. Connor's truth was my truth - I wanted it to be over. I wanted my life and my pain to stop. The line "it will be hard, it will be more than hard, but you will make it through" gave me the hope I needed to heal. This movie hit me like a truck.

    • @doctorcorgi3134
      @doctorcorgi3134 Год назад +4

      I hope that flight attendant is ok. Maybe she needs to watch the film after seeing you haha.

    • @LeandraGraves
      @LeandraGraves 8 месяцев назад +1

      I’m with you. My mental illness’ have put me through hell. Art that extends hope while still being painfully honest is a saving grace.

    • @KyleRamby
      @KyleRamby 2 дня назад +1

      Thank you for staying and pushing through. You give hope to me and countless others to keep going. ❤️

  • @trinaq
    @trinaq Год назад +1315

    I love that this film and book tackle mature subjects such as death, loss and grief by using a creative Allegory, without dumbing it down for children. Connor ultimately knows that his mother won't make it, and is guilty over wanting her to die, since he wants both of their pain to end.

    • @viktoriadandelion
      @viktoriadandelion Год назад +23

      I agree with you. I think it is very important to talk about the hidden things, the shadow parts of our emotions, as to say. Sometimes, as said in the video, these thoughts come by. And it’s very important to acknowledge that it’s okay, and that those thoughts come to everyone at some point, to avoid putting the guilt on oneself. Also, I love how imaginative and creative people are when telling true stories through fairytales. Many fairytales talk about life experiences, no matter if adult or for children, making us all understand the struggles through characters. They also have the unique ability to make us relate to magical creatures, even if we are only human ⭐🌟

    • @qwertydavid8070
      @qwertydavid8070 Год назад +16

      This is like one of the very few moves that handle these sort of mature and VERY important topics surprisingly well. Children's media usually gets dumbed down to such an extent that children aren't really learning anything.
      Bluey is another show where they actually tackle mature topics in an honest way whilst till making it easy for kids to understand. I heavily recommend it, it's the only children show that isn't just full of brainrot and bright colors to distract kids. The show has actually decent animation, well written dialouge, good music that's fun and unique (I think they literally make a unique soundtrack for each episode), and as I mentioned before, actual mature and important topics. In the midst of exploitative and lazy children's entertainment, Bluey really stands out in its quality.

    • @Aidaijo
      @Aidaijo Год назад

      @@viktoriadandelion qq

    • @katierasburn9571
      @katierasburn9571 Год назад +5

      definitely, i remember feeling the same when my nana passed, i thought "oh thank god, she won't suffer anymore" and then i just bawled my eyes out for thinking that because my nana is dead and it felt like such an awful thing to think

    • @zachrabaznaz7687
      @zachrabaznaz7687 Год назад +2

      @@qwertydavid8070 excuse me? The only show? Where's Atla, Alex Hirsch's works, owl house, etc etc etc. Don't insult children's media, a lot of it is very well made and very deep.

  • @zenroles
    @zenroles Год назад +805

    I also loved how this film encapsulates all the five stages of grief:
    1. Denial - Conor believes that his mom will be healed
    2. Anger - Conor destroys the entire room
    3. Bargaining - Conor looks to the tree for another treatment
    4. Depression - Conor faces his nightmare
    5. Acceptance - Conor tells the truth

    • @baristaz8834
      @baristaz8834 Год назад +24

      Also the five stages of grief isn't really a set in stone experience. Some people only experience some of them, some experience them in a different order, for some it's both. But I like they included all.

    • @robbiejohns4731
      @robbiejohns4731 Год назад +5

      ​@@baristaz8834 some even go in a cycle where we eventually think we're healed but then the pain seems to just start over

  • @imaginarysea
    @imaginarysea Год назад +1706

    Just hearing you say that you have had thoughts like "I wish I wasn't a parent" or "It might be simpler if I wasn't alive", it opened something up inside me. Something that needed to be opened.
    These moments of troubling thoughts are just that. Moments.
    They don't make me a bad person, or an ungrateful person, or a person who isn't going to keep going. They are moments. We go on.
    Thank you.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +164

      You're very welcome!

    • @mackielunkey2205
      @mackielunkey2205 Год назад +98

      “It’s not what you think, it’s what you do.”
      We can’t stop our intrusive thoughts from happening, but we can choose not to make those thoughts reality.

    • @dustyrose192
      @dustyrose192 Год назад +20

      @@mackielunkey2205 The first thought is the impulse. The second thought is what you really think, where your values and morals lie.

    • @Elaaaame
      @Elaaaame Год назад +7

      I’m right there with you. Hearing wonderful parents and people like Jonathan and Alan admit to having these thoughts lifted a lot of guilt from my shoulders. It’s hard to not beat yourself up after thinking things like that, especially towards the people you love. I’m glad you guys brought these issues to light. I hope more people see this.

    • @deevnn
      @deevnn Год назад +1

      Sometimes we do…and sometimes we don’t. Suicide most definitely ends the pain just like falling into a dreamless sleep. Don’t judge.

  • @heyamberray
    @heyamberray Год назад +189

    What's devastating is that his REAL mother died of multiple sclerosis just before he began filming for this movie. Maybe his reactions were more real than we imagine.

  • @potato_girl
    @potato_girl Год назад +743

    The scene where the mom is telling her son to feel his anger to feel whatever emotions he needs to feel. That's what every parent needs to tell their child. I lost my grandma to Alzheimer's when I was 11 it's not a parent but it's still losing someone I love. I was angry, sad, hormonal (because puberty decided it was a perfect time to come lol) I had a lot going on to say the least. Not only that but I had to deal with it as a child, I was told to calm down by everyone. I felt I had to be a "big girl" and grow up and to not feel my emotions.

    • @user-tk1ef2pt8t
      @user-tk1ef2pt8t Год назад +41

      Sometimes I think that grown ups saying it because they’re angry, and they try so hard not to scream and break things and not to get out of control and seeing a younger person who just learning this emotions it’s a knife in the heart and they don’t want to take care about another person…When my Grandfather was sick and I found out last of my family that there’s no cure and I was 13 when it happened, my grandfather was still alive but knowing that it’s inevitable broke me…and my dad who took care of him said…you think you can cry? I take care of him every day I see him dying every day and at this point the best thing that can happen is for him to die.
      When the day came when he died, I was very sick and…It was early in the morning and he just told me, he died and I ask from you to take it like a “man” and control yourself.
      Which first he’s not wrong that it was better for my grandpa to die because he’s suffering, and my dad like in this movie wished for this all thing to over. He was not wrong that he suffered more, but he was wrong to tell me those things in the time when I just found out and he was wrong to tell me to control myself because his meaning for control yourself is don’t feel, don’t cry, just do whatever needed to be done. Move on fast. And feeling are needed to be felt. And to see even if it’s just a story, to see this type of parents that tells him to feel, to take his time, it’s hard time it’s understandable, I love you. I won’t have it but…it’s something I’m trying to pass on to other people. To friends or whoever have this feeling or going through grief

    • @potato_girl
      @potato_girl Год назад +17

      @@user-tk1ef2pt8t Thank you for sharing, it can take a lot to do that sometimes but you did it!! Parents also have this sense of responsibility they feel like they have to be strong for their child and everyone else too. But parents should never expect it from their child. 13 is hardly a man, It's a hard age and to be expected to not feel emotions is difficult. It makes you feel more emotional in a way. We all grieve differently and that is what makes us human.
      I know for certainty that it was better for my grandma to die, if she had her mind she wouldn't have wanted us to go through all of that. Of the constant taking care of her and making sure she didn't get lost and wonder off somewhere. Death can be a relief at times, yes we are the ones to deal with it afterwards but we know that our loved ones aren't I'm pain anymore. I hope all is well with you!

  • @erianle123547
    @erianle123547 Год назад +896

    "I just want it to be over!" This line means so much to me, since I had a similar experience, except I was the one who was dying. When I was 14 I contracted rheumatic fever, a rather rare disease in America, and it took 4 months for my doctors to figure out what I had. In the meantime, I was slowly dying an extremely painful death as every joint in my body became inflamed with searing pain. There are a lot of things I could say about the expierance, it was horrible, but after I was cured my immune system was so compromised I just kept getting sick, again and again. Bronchitis, a fever of 106 that put me back in the hospital, a few others. The last time I got sick was nearly a year after I'd first gotten sick, I had a bought with pneumonia that lasted nearly 3 months. By that time I'd been sick for so long, fighting for so long, and I was right back on my death bed, unable to lay down or sit up due to my lungs being full of fluid. A few days before Christmas I woke up in the middle of the night, and I decided to sit in the living room, with the Christmas tree lights on and a few candles burning. I realized, at the time, that it was most likely going to be my last Christmas, but I wasn't sad, instead I just wanted it to be over. Siting there, in that moment, at the age of 14, I accepted my death for what it was, rest and peace. I'm 27 now, and while I have long-term disables because of the rheumatic fever, I've never really lost that sense of peace and contentment. My family is the only thing that matters to me in the world, and I spend whatever time I have with those I love. Doesn't matter if I have 50 years, or 50 minutes, I live, and will die, with no regrets. I'll always be grateful for that moment when I was 14, sitting in the living room in the middle of the night, a few days before Christmas. The struggle of life isn't what matters, it's the little moments of joy and love we share with others.

    • @channeloft
      @channeloft Год назад +25

      Aw...That's a really sweet message that others including myself can learn from

    • @MossyMozart
      @MossyMozart Год назад +24

      @Drake Waters - I, too, had rheumatic fever as a pre-schooler. I remember how sick I was and since there were no diagnostic tests at the time, it took a while for the pediatrician to diagnose it. I have had many severe illnesses since then, but not immediately afterwards like you had to endure. I have had 4 pneumonias, 57 bronchitises (by actual count), TB, viral encephalitis, a rare cancer, bilateral NAION, and other exotic diseases. My oncologist insisted that I see an immunologist who diagnosed me as having a primary immune deficiency that he thinks I had from birth. He lays all those illnesses all at the feet of the PID. My brother, too, had a similar health history and died 10 years ago. The immunologist theorizes that he was born with the same genetic condition. I now take IGG infusions every 4 weeks and do not get as sick as I used to. Perhaps your immune system was also damaged at birth? Meanwhile, I had hoped to get through life without it, but I had to have a pacemaker inserted due to rheumatic heart disease, a hold-over from RF. It was not as bad as it sounds - my heartrate is now in the normal zone instead of as low as 36. All that being said, I wish that I could die peacefully, not hooked to IV pumps with a high fever.

    • @LetGaiaLive
      @LetGaiaLive Год назад +10

      Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You are inspirational.

    • @galaxytraveler546
      @galaxytraveler546 Год назад +10

      I just recovered from watching this episode, but this comment has me in tears all over again. Thank you for sharing. Truly.

    • @veramae4098
      @veramae4098 Год назад

      D3, zinc, K3. Seriously. Found it thru Dr. John Campbell's channel about Covid.
      Necessary for healing.
      Anxiety makes me scratch my arms. I've always had 7 - 12 open sores at a time. When I started taking these, they started healing faster than I could scratch them back open.
      After taking these for months, my doctor ordered blood tests for lots of things (long story, never mind). I'd been taking these as I said for months yet my level of Vitamin D was barely in the acceptable zone. I'm assuming it was way below when I started.
      Now it's in the middle. I'm still taking it. Will level off someday, talking with my doctor.

  • @_spt-warwolf_4575
    @_spt-warwolf_4575 Год назад +631

    The one thing I didn't like about the movie is that they didn't include Conor's friend, Lily. In the book, Conor confided to her about his mother's illness and then she told everyone else. As a result, people started treating Conor differently. Lily helped show how Conor used to be before his mother became sick and displayed his self-isolation. After he beats up Harry while screaming "I'm not invisible!", Lily passed him a note that said she still considers him a friend and ends it with the words, _I See You_

    • @twaggytheatricks4960
      @twaggytheatricks4960 Год назад +67

      Aaaand I have a book to buy!
      Have a like, by the way; stellar comment of yours. Very endearing summary of why Lily is awesome.

    • @_spt-warwolf_4575
      @_spt-warwolf_4575 Год назад +49

      @@twaggytheatricks4960 Buy a first edition with the black artwork, they help set the mood and show several important aspects of the story.

    • @twaggytheatricks4960
      @twaggytheatricks4960 Год назад +24

      @@_spt-warwolf_4575 First edition, black artwork. You got it, boss man!
      And I mean that genuinely, I might add; good advice is advice to take.

    • @anacastro2790
      @anacastro2790 Год назад +16

      The I’m invisible part was so profound I love the book so much

    • @macylightfoot
      @macylightfoot Год назад +14

      That's where I started crying when reading the book, and kept going until the end

  • @Other_Kev
    @Other_Kev Год назад +138

    It's comforting to know even a therapist who's seen his fair share of people go through trauma and divorces can still be touched to his core by a movie like that.

    • @smmshoe
      @smmshoe Год назад +7

      bro even Liam Neeson said he cried when he watched it, and he played the movie and knew every line

    • @princecharmling14
      @princecharmling14 Год назад

      (Old reply but) what makes a therapist is the ability to feel no matter how much pain he or she witnesses. I found it odd that one would think a therapist would become numb from seeing trauma?

  • @jcs3894
    @jcs3894 Год назад +359

    Having gone through my own health scare, this film really is the greatest representation of grief based trauma I've ever seen on both screen and in writing... and it got snubbed at the Oscars. The bit where Connor screams that he wants it to be over will stay with me forever.

    • @BooBop1987
      @BooBop1987 Месяц назад

      The Oscars needed to be a shame of themselves for disrespecting this very underrated film.

  • @Atlas-pn6jv
    @Atlas-pn6jv Год назад +217

    "I want it to be over." That's the part that got me. Coming from a 30 yr old who lost his dad 25 yrs ago, it will never be over. You learn to deal with the hurt, but it never goes away.

  • @nicolelynch5615
    @nicolelynch5615 Год назад +42

    "Humans are complicated beasts. You believe comforting lies while knowing full well the painful truth that makes those lies necessary. In the end, it is not important what you think. It is only important what you do." I've never seen this movie before, but I find this line healing. Powerful even. Especially to the contrast of "wanting it to be over," the reasoning behind it, and how to move beyond it one day and one step at a time. It's the words I was trying to find within myself but couldn't articulate; I'm glad this story did.

  • @ladynoluck
    @ladynoluck Год назад +119

    I’m not a public cryer, but when I decided to read this book as my in-flight entertainment when traveling alone, I couldn’t stop crying. After watching me for a while with a worried look, my rowmate asked me if I was okay. After all, I was a grown adult reading a large-print middle-grade book with pictures in it (haunting ones but still) and nearly sobbing. It’s such a devastating and real story. I’m glad the movie does it justice.

  • @decobyrne
    @decobyrne Год назад +966

    I commented about this a long time ago.. this was the first ever film that had me in tears throughout… i lost my mum at 4yrs of age to cancer so it really hit home hard, the emotion, the anger, the feeling of loss… my dad(a old fashioned, tough love kinda guy) left with 4 kids and me the youngest.. it was tough growing up.. 4 years in therapy and 1.5 years watching you guys and I’m a hell of a lot better mentally ❤️

    • @trinaq
      @trinaq Год назад +19

      My condolences on your loss. It must have been rough growing up without properly knowing your mother, but I'm sure that she's still watching over you all in happiness and pride. 💕

    • @Luxzeph
      @Luxzeph Год назад +14

      I commented the same a long time ago too! Shame on them for not doing it earlier, especially if there's a filmmaker on the team.This movie is a jewel, help me a lot too when I lost my mother, my boyfriend made me watch it before she passed away and that movie helped me in the process 🥀♥️

    • @georgiasomething2064
      @georgiasomething2064 Год назад +1

      Good for you man- keep going 💪🏻✨

    • @claireconolly8355
      @claireconolly8355 Год назад +2

      So sorry to hear this...pleased that therapy has helped you 🙏🙏🙏🙏

    • @gemgen101
      @gemgen101 Год назад +6

      I know it’s silly but …um…I feel silly for asking cuz everyone is different , but, if you want to trade or swap recipes. It’s not the same but the feeling of loosing simple things like food or what flowers she would’ve chosen or why she chose the things she did in the garden , really help. So if there’s anyway we can help each other, & this is anyone reading…The best I have are recipies I found , not ones she kept or cooked. . Otherwise, once she died, we lived on mostly fast food. Good news about being youngest is you can ask your siblings stories. My dad won’t talk about my mom and he’s getting old to pt of not remembering (or choosing not to). There’s nothing worse than missing someone who you barely remember and now you have No idea who they were or could’ve been or were going to be. I’m not making things easier. But still. Sharing fav food or songs or movies keeps them here and going and we get to know you AND her. Hope this helps:
      She liked Triple threats & musicals
      “I hope you dance” - lee Ann Womack (her fav song)
      “You’ll be in my heart” - fav song from Disney
      Sound of music -film
      My youngest bro (who doesn’t remember her) was her “little man” and she indulged HP nerd things with me, even shouting down the hospital hall when she assumed she heard backpacks to the pt I freaked out thinking something was wrong.
      Tell me of your mom, any tiny thing. If not, again, there’s always making a fun event of it with your siblings , even if FaceTiming.
      Sending you ❤️!

  • @michelleraven1832
    @michelleraven1832 Год назад +183

    I was connors age when my mom died from cancer. I remember feeling the same way he did. I just wanted to be over. This movie really helped heal my inner child

  • @doggo6562
    @doggo6562 Год назад +98

    "You think its easy? You are willing to die than speak it" this hits hard when it first came out and im struggling that time, makes me realize so many things. Now i hear it again and im so proud of myself, I far from my old self

  • @thestoryfactory8429
    @thestoryfactory8429 Год назад +33

    The history of the book is heartbreaking. Siobhan Dowd drafted the bones while she was dying herself, facing her own monster, and then another author friend took what she left him and turned it into something darkly beautiful. She wrote her pain and he made it into art.
    As someone who watched a parent suffer with illness for my entire childhood, they nailed what people on the outside never understand.

  • @stardustkai
    @stardustkai Год назад +294

    There's this weird thing I do that I basically put on movies to watch without checking what they're about beforehand. A monster calls was one of those movies and damn I did not expect to be crying for hours afterwards.😅 I just love how this movie made clear that it was to okay to be angry. I think I've never watched another movie dealing with loss that basically said that it's okay if you were so angry that you couldn't have a proper goodbye. It's just so realistic and considerate.

    • @Ozraevun
      @Ozraevun Год назад +18

      Same, I legit thought it was a fantasy - my favourite genre - and boy was I not prepared for what it was. It wasn't what I thought it'd be, but it was worth every coin I spend buying it.

    • @yourlittleinsomniac5369
      @yourlittleinsomniac5369 Год назад +10

      I put on this movie thinking it was going to be a horror movie kind of like "Before I Wake". Boy was I wrong but not disappointed

  • @ellenpcwang
    @ellenpcwang Год назад +354

    This was a really good film, to bad it didn't perform well at the box office. This film really tackles a tough subject. Films like Bridge to Terabithia uses a brighter colors to showcase grief. A Monster Calls uses a darker pallet.

    • @HouseMDaddict
      @HouseMDaddict Год назад +16

      I agree! I also am a huge fan of bridge to terabithia (I only saw the movie in my teens, but didn't read the book until I worked in an elementary school and the 5th grade was reading it) and in the movie (and the book) I liked how the father was part of the "enemy" covertly throughout the story until the end where Jesse finally confronts his grief and doesn't think his dad's going to be sympathetic because Jesse's gotta always be tough due to being the only son and his dad surprises him. It gets me every time. Just like how I this story when the tree creature says "I came to heal YOU" I lose it. And I rarely cry at movies. These two movies, I feel feelings.

  • @ChimeraConcepts
    @ChimeraConcepts Год назад +91

    If you look at Connor's mother's room at the end, his grandfather is Liam Neeson in the photo on the wall. Really appreciated that detail.

    • @cintsscha5899
      @cintsscha5899 10 месяцев назад +6

      I did wonder about that in the end. Was the grandpa the tree???

    • @ChimeraConcepts
      @ChimeraConcepts 10 месяцев назад +2

      @@cintsscha5899 Felt like that was a possibility

    • @BooBop1987
      @BooBop1987 Месяц назад +1

      I love that part of the film very much!

    • @BooBop1987
      @BooBop1987 Месяц назад +1

      @@cintsscha5899 I wish that it was the main plot twist of the story!

  • @mpavao77
    @mpavao77 Год назад +224

    Haven't started the video yet but A Monster Calls is one of my favorite books ever in the world and I was so love in with the movie adaption which is RARE for a book-to-movie adaptation to be so good. And now to see one of my fave YT channels going over it is such a highlight to my day thank you so much.

  • @lanamello7445
    @lanamello7445 Год назад +197

    To everyone who enjoyed the movie, I definitely recommend reading the book. I think the movie makers in this absolutely excelled in translating the book to a video format, but still it is another form to enjoy and heal through the same story.

    • @Leviathandk
      @Leviathandk Год назад +4

      i agree

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +36

      Totally agree!

    • @hatvielehobbies
      @hatvielehobbies Год назад +8

      And the illustrations are amazing.

    • @efoxkitsune9493
      @efoxkitsune9493 Год назад +3

      @@hatvielehobbies Breathtaking. Seriously. One of the most beautifully made books I have ever seen. I'm in love with it.

    • @user-tk1ef2pt8t
      @user-tk1ef2pt8t Год назад +2

      I’ve listened to the audiobook and yeah it’s really identical

  • @MrBogglo
    @MrBogglo Год назад +345

    Wow, this hit me like a ton of bricks. I lost my father very suddenly to cancer, my family learned his diagnosis and he was gone months later. It was a very traditionally masculine house that I was raised in, and part of my fathers passing was trying to prepare me for becoming the “man of the house” and part of that was separating from him as someone I cared about so I could be there for my mother and sister more efficiently. I ended up trading the last few months of my fathers life for a lifetime of regret and anger, and it didn’t work anyways, because I couldn’t stop my emotions from being.
    It took me so many years of emotional suppression to not hate myself for my emotions and to let them out in a healthy way, and I would have killed for an adult to tell me that I wasn’t failing, and that it was okay to be mad, and that I wasn’t failing as a son by being human.

    • @judixx
      @judixx Год назад +22

      No, you are not failing. Your emotions ( regrets and agony and self-hatred ) are exactly the proof to yourself that you are not failing AND you are indeed human. May you find self-acceptance, an over-due relief, and peace finally.

  • @bigpapamagoo8696
    @bigpapamagoo8696 Год назад +125

    I remember watching this movie when I was around ten years old, and I didn’t like it. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable, especially the scene in the end where he lets his mother fall, and everything with the school bully. I still cried watching it, and it stuck with me for years. I’m a teenager now, and I consider this to be one of the most formative films from with childhood. I relate so deeply to the protagonist feeling invisible and feeling guilty for just wanting the pain to stop, even if it means losing someone he loves.

  • @AnimeAngel88
    @AnimeAngel88 Год назад +73

    "I want it to be over." I think that sums up how anyone feels in a situation like this, even if circumstances are different. I lost my grandmother back in 2020, and she was sick and old, so it was something that didn't come entirely out of the blue, but me and my family knew it was only a matter of time. My mom and I traveled up to her home to see her one last time, and the whole way up I just kept thinking something similar, 'I just want it to be over'. Not because I wanted my grandmother to die, but because I wanted her suffering, and ours, to finally end.

  • @justopher8487
    @justopher8487 Год назад +302

    I lost my father last Wednesday. It’s been tough. Thanks Alan and Jono.
    Edit: The funeral was today. Many family and friends came. Thank you for your condolences.

    • @Alinda1308
      @Alinda1308 Год назад +18

      My condolences, I send you a big hug. So sorry for your loss

    • @frogfairy1163
      @frogfairy1163 Год назад +9

      I am so sorry for your loss. Take the time to grief, remember the good times. I wish you and all your loved ones all the strength and compassion in these trying times.

    • @elaineb7065
      @elaineb7065 Год назад +5

      Huggles & sharky snuggles. Take care of yourself during this hard time xxx

    • @ShipperTrash
      @ShipperTrash Год назад +5

      I'm sorry for your loss, don't ever forget that your grief is natural abd when you need to vent - don't be afraid to do so 💌

    • @justopher8487
      @justopher8487 Год назад +3

      @@ShipperTrash I’ll keep that in mind. Thank you.

  • @alexandramargineanu7170
    @alexandramargineanu7170 Год назад +54

    What this taught me: there's always a monster out there, there's always a monster out there specifically made for me by me, and it's there to help; not to scare me off, not to help me destroy the world but to help without having to go through with actually destroying everything and everyone around me

  • @loveleedesigns
    @loveleedesigns Год назад +68

    I’ve struggled with suicidal thoughts and ideations for many years, and hearing conner say “i want it to just be over” and him adamantly refusing to speak his truth felt like a punch in the gut. It’s so hard to just. Too hard to really say what’s wrong.
    The part where conner went “I’m the one who needs healing?!” Before he screamed is how I’ve felt for all those years. This deep shame of being so unwell that you’d think it better you were never born can and will suffocate you. It’s like drowning and being unable to swim. You keep kicking and kicking but no matter what everything keeps pushing you down.
    But the thing is, it’s the mental illness that’s speaking FOR you. It TELLS you that you are unworthy, unloved, and unwanted. It manipulates how you see the world and twists it into a fucking nightmare. The difficult part is to admit that you need help. Like when Connor said “is that all?” It may seem nightmarish to admit you need help at first, but when you finally speak, it gets easier.

    • @minomiu
      @minomiu Год назад +2

      I hope you are doing well 💟

    • @princecharmling14
      @princecharmling14 Год назад +1

      You got this, I believe in you

    • @yari-chan7471
      @yari-chan7471 11 месяцев назад +2

      Thank you saying this it truly made me feel heard and understood in what I struggle and just simply want it to be over

    • @sarahlandis289
      @sarahlandis289 11 месяцев назад +2

      Sending virtual hugs ❤

  • @anjelica948
    @anjelica948 Год назад +35

    My grandpa was diagnosed with dementia, and for nearly 10 years my grandma was his primary caretaker until he died, and I remember about six months before it happened, she said to me “I feel so terrible. I just want it to be over. I’m so tired. Does that make me a terrible person?”
    And I hugged her and said “Of course not. This is one of the hardest things a person will ever do. Its ok.” We cried a little and it was such a great moment because my family never talks about emotions or real issues, and I had so much catharsis to at least touch on something real for a minute.

  • @kinosaga21
    @kinosaga21 Год назад +293

    Dad: "I still love her, but love isn't enough, it doesn't carry you though"
    kid: " so, you didn't get a happily ever after?"
    dad: "no, but that's life, most of us get a messily ever after and that's alight"
    those two, this two lessons are ones that everyone needs to hear, just fundamental truth yet most of us, specially myself, didn't know this until it was to late.

  • @SEReina-gk1kx
    @SEReina-gk1kx Год назад +96

    I remember a time when the reality of my grandfather’s Alzheimer’s was hitting me. I was 16 and I screamed and cried for days. Just the fact that he was going to die from it and there was no healing from it hurt me so much. I hated myself because for a brief moment, I prayed for his death so he wouldn’t suffer anymore. I hated seeing him suffer because he didn’t deserve it. He served people all his life only for him suffer so much at the end gutted me. But now I’m at peace with the fact he’s no longer in pain. I still miss and grieve him but that anger is no longer there.

  • @dracowolf3212
    @dracowolf3212 Год назад +28

    This came out around the same time my nanna died. It makes me guilty saying this even to this day, but I didn't cry when my parents told me she had passed, I didn't even cry at her funeral. Then I watched this. Which was maybe bad timing on my part or maybe not but when I got home after this film I cried over my nanna for the first time since her passing.

  • @wowieitssam9457
    @wowieitssam9457 Год назад +165

    I know it’s not even remotely the same as losing a parent, but the “i just want it to be over” resonates with me for my childhood cat. She passed away a bit under 14 months ago and I’m still very very mournful of her loss. We knew she was terminally ill and I just remember the last month span where I knew she was gonna die, it was just so heartbreaking. And even the day we had to put her down, the process took just so long, like for the anesthetic to work and stuff. I just had a nagging feeling where i wanted it to be over. I had both wanted any and every second I could get left with her as well as for it to just stop. And despite being in terrible sobbing grief over the loss of my best friend, there was an odd feeling of relief too. It’s a normal human emotion. Miss my girl Roxy every day.

    • @Iisho
      @Iisho Год назад +14

      The love of a pet can very well be on the same level as your family or friends. I had a cat I lost over 2 years ago that I still sometimes cry over. He was the greatest cat and I fully believe I will never find another, he was truly one of a kind. Unbelievably sweet, to people and even new cats my family brought home. He helped me a lot through hard times. I swear he could sense it, because he'd always come to cuddle with me when I would cry or was struggling with certain thoughts. He was so aware and loving. I remember one of our cats got pregnant and once the babies were born and grown we gave them away, my cat was so sad we had no more kittens that my parents actually went and got one. I miss him so much still.

    • @OGStarlightKY
      @OGStarlightKY Год назад +5

      Trust me, the pain of losing a pet is just as valid as losing friends or family.

    • @ChristineTheHippie
      @ChristineTheHippie Год назад +6

      Pets are part of the family. Watching someone you love suffer is devastating.

    • @gremmymemes
      @gremmymemes Год назад +3

      I too lost my childhood cat recently, and I also experienced a sense of relief after he was put down (at the ripe old age of 19!). All the months of watching his gradual decline in health and just knowing deep down that he was on his way out was weighing heavily on my heart, and after he passed on, my heart felt light again even though I was grieving him dearly.

    • @leviacronym6770
      @leviacronym6770 Год назад +3

      Yeah my nearly 15 years old GSD couldn't walk and we had to help her outside and to go places. She would cry out at night. It was hard to bear it and to see her suffer. We did everything we could to make her feel better but at some point, I had to make the decision to euthanize her. Was hard but I was there with her until the very end. I cried all day and night. 6 years later and I still mourn her like I lost my best friend. It feels the same for me. I've actually lost a best friend to death and it honestly feels the same.

  • @KumquatsAreVegis
    @KumquatsAreVegis Год назад +53

    This movie I remember being advertised as a magical realism type adventure. I went with my mom expecting adventure. Instead, I got tears

  • @tinesess3521
    @tinesess3521 Год назад +318

    Ever since you mentioned a monster calls last time... was hoping for this. I adore this book and adaptation ❤

    • @ASMroleplay737
      @ASMroleplay737 Год назад +4

      I read the book in 9th grade LA and when I saw there was a movie I watched it that night. My 9th grade LA teacher was amazing.

    • @violetfolgi
      @violetfolgi Год назад +4

      right?! I watched this first and then read the book, both so good im their own right but the film is such a great adaptation as well! It hits all the emotional beats just as hard 😭

  • @Ajbarili
    @Ajbarili Год назад +35

    There is something especially devastating about Johnathan crying. Allen’s cries are mostly endearing, but I can always feel pain in John’s.

  • @miriamrosemary9110
    @miriamrosemary9110 Год назад +133

    I haven't even watched the film but I cried so much watching this. You've convinced me that I should definitely watch it properly sometime. Thank you.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +14

      Hopefully you like it!

    • @Loxias321
      @Loxias321 Год назад +6

      The book is also wonderful. I think this story is much more successful as a book. I read it once a year or so, when I want to dust out the cobwebs with a good seasion of ugly crying. If you like the film, you might love the book.

  • @dawnpleasant2319
    @dawnpleasant2319 Год назад +94

    I wasn't prepared for this. I hadn't heard of this movie before now. It brought me back to when I was young holding my mother's hand as she took her last breath. The pain is so intense I can barely breathe.

    • @radfordra
      @radfordra Год назад

      Now imagine finding a basic animation on Instagram reels.

  • @SliCooper
    @SliCooper Год назад +135

    I was debating wether or not to watch this film and holy crap just those small scenes actually got me to tear up. I feel like other films show at least follow along with A Monster Calls' idea. Too many times I feel like other films give off the idea of the "Disney" happily ever after but it's not realistic. What I think is needed is the fact that we need "messy endings" to show that even if it's not perfect we can be strong enough to push through.

    • @itzelwisteria1819
      @itzelwisteria1819 Год назад +8

      Yes, to be honest Disney ruined me a little in the sense that as a kid I loved happy endings and growing up I couldn't stand when something didn't end happily. Thankfully I got better at it and Disney created some good movies about grief, like Onward.

    • @sitzpinkler1294
      @sitzpinkler1294 Год назад

      @@itzelwisteria1819 to be fair Disney Pixar is the one which makes a more mature messy endings stories, from Soul to Monsters University, I really like the realism that those stories have

    • @itzelwisteria1819
      @itzelwisteria1819 Год назад +3

      @@sitzpinkler1294 yessss, I agree. I always notice when a movie is done by Pixar (ft. Disney) not only because of the logo (lol) but because of the kind of themes they like to handle. Monsters University is definitely a personal favorite, the ending was so fresh, realistic and uplifting to the me of back then that was worried about college. Up was also quite bittersweet and yet so optimistic about grief.

  • @delight9311
    @delight9311 Год назад +47

    I think, unlike Bridge to Terabithia, a Monster's Call is actually therapeutic. It helps you understand throughout the film, instead of hitting you with a brick halfway through and asking you to cope. Wonderful film.

  • @Endelle
    @Endelle Год назад +45

    Man, i've teared up watching cinema therapy, but haven't actually sobbed until this one. coming up on the one year anniversary of the passing of my mom. I sure feel this

    • @Selly_2007
      @Selly_2007 Год назад +1

      I've cried watching Cinema Therapy before (when they reacted to Inside Out, believe it or not), but this was the one that had me reaching for the tissues almost immediately. I lost my mum in 2015, so I felt it too.
      I'm sorry for your loss; that first year is bloody tough x

  • @hayasheeeesh
    @hayasheeeesh Год назад +13

    Back when I was really into reading, I came across this book. I loved horror (and still do), so the title immediately caught my eye. The story wasn't horror in the sense of the monster, but in the sense that the people we love will leave us one day, and all we can do is try to process it. I still remember the line, "That's a yew tree, you know." And later I learned yew trees are a symbol of death.

  • @RadicalYue
    @RadicalYue Год назад +65

    I have literally been waiting for this movie. It flew under the radar for a tooooooooooon of people. Absolutely stunning film and masterfully done.

  • @VermisTerrae
    @VermisTerrae Год назад +21

    The "You need to know that that was okay" made me tear up instantly and the "I know everything you need to tell me without you having to say it out loud" made me full on cry. My mom survived cancer when I was a kid and she sheltered me tremendously from how close a call it could have been. She didn't show a shred of weakness for a moment so that I could feel that she would be okay, no matter what. I didn't fully understand how close I was to losing her until I was an adult and now I'm learning how to process that trauma many years after her recovery. Not everyone gets to hear "you need to know that that was okay" while they're an angry kid, and hearing it now feels a little bit like getting that permission for ourselves.

    • @pikachuuprising637
      @pikachuuprising637 6 месяцев назад +1

      I'm glad your mom made it. May God give her a long life.

    • @VermisTerrae
      @VermisTerrae 6 месяцев назад +1

      @@pikachuuprising637 Thank you very much :)

  • @lysander9957
    @lysander9957 Год назад +32

    Gotta start calling these episodes the "try not to cry" editions. Because man, im crying at work, you can't be doing this to me.

  • @SEFSQklOR0VS
    @SEFSQklOR0VS Год назад +37

    I didn't lose my family through death, I was disowned, and it felt exactly like this for a long time. I was in limbo between accepting that it needed to happen and anger that my family threw me away. I was 17. I'm 21 now, living a much better life than I could've done before but even now, I have those moments where the bad things happen and I'm angry that if my family hadn't abandoned me, maybe I could have a dad who helps me, a mum that comforts me. But I want the idea of a family, not mine.
    This movie put all those feelings into a beautiful perspective

  • @lupinbun7240
    @lupinbun7240 Год назад +34

    This is a very hard video to watch but it's helping me too. My best friend suffered with terminal cancer from October until he finally passed away in April, 12 days after his 25th birthday. Close to the end, I could see he was just getting worse and worse and was in more and more pain, to the point that it hurt him just to turn his head or speak. But the part that chewed me up from inside was that I frequently found myself thinking "Please. Just hurry up and die."
    I didn't WANT my best friend and soul-sibling to die. Of course I didn't. But I couldn't stop thinking about him lying in that hospital bed, too sick to do anything but watch TV. In too much pain to do ANYTHING for himself. He was trapped, scared, sad and lonely and I just wanted it to end for him, even though I knew I'd be left behind.
    Also, in a weird way, healing from grief is hard too. You start to notice moments where you feel happy again and you hate yourself for it. You feel like, if it doesn't hurt like knives every single day forever, that somehow means you don't care any more. Grief just sucks, man.

  • @Kittykat5kits
    @Kittykat5kits Год назад +53

    I am not gonna lie, this was so open and brutally honest I had to turn the video off and step away for a moment. You are so brave and I’m so sorry you lost your mom. God bless you.

  • @idax358
    @idax358 Год назад +148

    This book and film hit a bit too hard for me. But to be honest, it kind of made me brave to lose my mother at 11. I'm 17 now and it has its emotional themes of grief and loss, but now, I've pretty much accepted losing my mother.

  • @blueyesfaerie
    @blueyesfaerie Год назад +21

    I was a little older than Connor when my dad died, but boy did I relate anyway. The gaping hole he tried to fling himself into, the anger, the realization that HE was the one who needed healing... Yep, went through all that!
    I really appreciated his mom's preemptive forgiveness speech- I was not there when my dad passed which I sometimes feel bad about, even though I know he did not want to die at home, and he didn't want us there when it happened. Ultimately I am thankful for that last gift he gave us because I think it did make the grieving process easier, not being triggered every time I was at home.

  • @juliagoolia5604
    @juliagoolia5604 Год назад +42

    That is so powerful what you said “our thoughts don’t make us who are or bad it’s what we do with those thoughts. They are just impulses and our integrity decides how we behave “ or you said something like that. Love this ❤

  • @jenniferkerner6444
    @jenniferkerner6444 Год назад +15

    "All we see is the behavior" isn't just true with children. I find that any time I do something that isn't right or wanted, the response to it is "what's wrong with you, you're a bad person" rather than "could there be a reason you're doing this other than you're just bad." I don't know about other adult-aged people, but when I (an autistic fortysomething who is developmentally parked in her late teens) hear that my behavior is the only thing that matters, that my behavior is the entire problem rather than a symptom, the message I take to heart is that I'm not worth seeing.
    Also, the one adult in my family who saw past my behavior to my pain and my actual self was my dad, who passed when I was 13. As gut-wrenching as this film is by itself, it's even more gut-wrenching to watch and think "I wish I'd had that support from the other adults around me."

  • @ScarletShade13
    @ScarletShade13 Год назад +64

    This movie is an unsung masterpiece about grief and loss. One of the stories that make you cry in a good way and I am very happy to see you two tackling it!

  • @AliAngelpie
    @AliAngelpie Год назад +61

    I cried while watching this film because it really hit close to home. Having a child look after his dying mother and handle the anger and grief. Also, having a monster be both his enemy and his mentor is so powerful, I really thought it was clever. I've lost loved ones and mentors to cancer, which hurt, but it made me hold my parents even closer

  • @constancemohrbacher3870
    @constancemohrbacher3870 Год назад +41

    I am 46 and have lost my mother and sister to cancer. My best friend of 18 years is fighting it now. I needed to hear this. I needed to cry. I need to heal. Thanks you two. 💗

  • @AdelioNightstorm
    @AdelioNightstorm Год назад +5

    "I want it to be over!"
    I am fortunate enough to still have both my parents in my life, but my god, that line nearly broke me. The kid is an amazing actor, and I could totally feel his pain.

  • @yeetusmaximus5689
    @yeetusmaximus5689 Год назад +41

    Me, having already read the book and been subsequently emotionally destroyed, finding out through this video that a movie exists: *Ah shit, here we go again.*

    • @Leviathandk
      @Leviathandk Год назад +2

      And the movie hits just as hard as you may have seen now.

  • @ilovehotmoms5804
    @ilovehotmoms5804 Год назад +191

    Absolutely love the vulnerability in these videos and they definitely act as a sort of checks and balances for me, Keep up the amazing work guys :)

  • @Peajay007
    @Peajay007 Год назад +10

    the understanding in this movie is so refreshing. they get it they understand his pain and grandma shows that.

  • @gospelfreak5828
    @gospelfreak5828 Год назад +13

    This is the first movie that made me weep. It was actually during my last semester in college too. I wept 15 minutes before the sad part of the movie. I wept solely because this kid struggled with his emotions spoke to me since I had been emotionally blocked for years. With the help of God, my girlfriend, and this movie, I have been more emotionally vulnerable and let myself be honest with my emotions. This became one of my favorite movies of all time. Whoever made this film, thank you

  • @lisam5744
    @lisam5744 Год назад +23

    The lines, when Connor was fighting to not say the truth...I was balling my eyes out. I've been where Connor was. You guys made me cry again! I request a happy movie for next time.

  • @Hal_Law26
    @Hal_Law26 Год назад +38

    This movie is one that I connect to so deeply. Between the ages of 12-14 my mom was diagnosed with leukemia and then after a year of being in remission her leukemia relapsed. It was really hard, as my younger sister and I went from having a mom who was always there for us even though she worked full-time, to having just our dad, who isn't exactly the greatest at knowing how to deal with emotions. I had to grow up really quickly, because I was the oldest and my sister developed some really bad separation anxiety issues, so my parents had to focus a bit more on her at the time, especially since I was always the more calm, easygoing child. My mom has been in remission for at least ten years now, but I remember finding this short story, and later the movie, a few years after she was healthy and back home. The part that always hits the hardest, for me, is when Conor admits that he just wants it to be over, ultimately meaning that his mother will die since her cancer is terminal. There were many times throughout my mom's cancer battle where I just wanted it to be over, especially the second time around, because it really is exhausting living in a constant state of fear and anxiety for a loved one. I was lucky enough that my mom's cancer was not terminal, but it still makes a person feel horrible to admit that at some point you just want it to end. So, watching Conor's journey in this movie is hard, since I can relate to him, but it is also therapeutic in a way.

  • @Zonecrime
    @Zonecrime Год назад +19

    Watching this helped me. Two years ago a friend of mine lost her battle with addiction. I realized that I acted they way I did around her because she read me like an open book. She saw me for who I really was and that scared me. She saw right the the facade I had up

  • @jamesomalley3039
    @jamesomalley3039 Год назад +21

    I’m in this film! I’m an extra that you can see briefly after Connor has a meeting with the headteacher at school, I’m one of the first kids on the right looking at him in the hallway.
    To give the effect that this kid is weird JA Bayona gave him a clown mask and made him do the scene wearing it so we all kind of got the idea of how to look at him
    Oh and yes they built a giant tree hand! The monster also doesn’t have a name, it’s just called The Monster

    • @smmshoe
      @smmshoe Год назад +2

      wow that is a nice trivia

  • @dtllmpn
    @dtllmpn Год назад +29

    It's been nearly a week since we had to put our oldest cat down due to cancer, and this just got some emotions out, thank you for that.

  • @bongwaterbojack
    @bongwaterbojack Год назад +95

    Absolutely crazy how quickly you guys manage to put out quality content.
    Can't wait to see Arcane covered!

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +50

      Tuesday.

    • @bongwaterbojack
      @bongwaterbojack Год назад +10

      @@CinemaTherapyShow you have no idea how excited I am to read that!

    • @samBrightuel
      @samBrightuel Год назад +7

      @@CinemaTherapyShow shoot now I have to watch the whole series before Tuesday

    • @robynwilson9227
      @robynwilson9227 Год назад +4

      @@CinemaTherapyShow YOU GUYS HAVE NO CLUE HOW EXCITED I AM

    • @tuesday1672
      @tuesday1672 Год назад +5

      @@samBrightuel you can do it, I believe in you

  • @SelkiesSong
    @SelkiesSong Год назад +22

    "I want it to be over"
    I felt the same exact way watching my grandfather succumb to Alzheimer's. It was so hard to watch him go through that knowing it wasn't going to get better, and in most ways he was already gone.

  • @tabithahooper8956
    @tabithahooper8956 Год назад +14

    I had to read the book for English class in grade 9 (Mind you this was peak pandemic time), and I balled my eyes out reading this. I was an emotional teen constantly hearing about people dying, so I think I processed all of that through this book. I can say this effects me even more now, 2 years later, after having watching my dad go through the same emotions. Every time I need a good cry, A Monster Calls is the book I turn to.

  • @julianpradarodriguez7336
    @julianpradarodriguez7336 Год назад +26

    This movie hitted hard. My grand grand father was suffering from cancer when I was little, watching him go for a man that even at 80 years old could do anything to basically being bound to the bed crying because he could not even go to the bathroom alone... My grandmother wanted him to die and be better. He wanted to die too

  • @Michael-eb8nf
    @Michael-eb8nf Год назад +11

    I absolutely love the Big Lebowski clip they used, mostly because if you pay close attention you'll see that Jonathon's eyes are wide open behind those sunglasses. Makes him look like a total psychopath and I'm here for it.

  • @Lovely2291
    @Lovely2291 Год назад +14

    My mom died in September 30th of 2022, exactly a month before she passed this video came out. Thank you Alan and Johnathan, you guys prepped me for my monster to come and i feel like i handled it much better because of you guys.

  • @sxeptomaniac
    @sxeptomaniac Год назад +29

    I would love to see you guys take on Song of the Sea, at some point. It's a story about being stuck in grief, and becoming unstuck so they can move on, but told in a beautiful fantasy adventure.
    It's another one of those likely to make Jon cry. Obviously, it's not the kind of thing to do every time, but I think it's worth looking at, eventually.

    • @coraliehoney
      @coraliehoney Год назад +1

      Yes please I love that movie! ❤

  • @katarn101
    @katarn101 Год назад +34

    thank you guys for bringing this film to my attention. I love how vulnerable and deep you guys get talking about these but also with humor and levity to break up the emotions of it all.
    well done guys. thank you!

  • @Flower-qq7je
    @Flower-qq7je Год назад +18

    It reminds me of Tanjiro running away from his family in his false dream in Mugen Train movie.
    When he had to accept that his family is gone and these happy moments are not coming back.
    Him saying “I wanna go back…! But I am sorry, I have to let you go.”

  • @the_UF365
    @the_UF365 Год назад +8

    It's official everyone, this channel has drained the tears out of Alan.

  • @mooxim
    @mooxim Год назад +5

    I was in the car to the hospital with my mum when my dad took his last breath. the scene where they're driving to see her destroyed me. I watched it too late at night to talk to anyone without waking them up. Thankfully, when I gave my dog a treat before putting him to bed, he farted in anticipation. I've never needed to laugh so badly in my life. Love that dog. It was exactly what I needed.

  • @JoelErhart
    @JoelErhart Год назад +13

    Wow. Compiling the heaviest hits from a heavy hitting film is brutal. I really appreciate how much Jono and Alan embrace the pain and talk us all through it. That being said, I also am already starting to miss some of the lighter films. I'm hoping at some point there's a video on Trolls World Tour with a guest who strongly relates to some of the themes in identity, and having a voice.

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +3

      Lighter stuff coming! Weird scheduling fluke meant we ended up releasing a lot of heavy stuff in a row...

    • @JoelErhart
      @JoelErhart Год назад +2

      @@CinemaTherapyShow Thanks! So glad to hear it! My heart can only take so much.

  • @CoffeeMe1987
    @CoffeeMe1987 Год назад +26

    The moment I saw the tissues on the table I just knew this was going to be a tear jerker. 🤧 You guys have such great content and advice. Keep up the good work! 🤙

  • @Monkeyzforever
    @Monkeyzforever Год назад +10

    AHHH YOU DID A MONSTER CALLS!!!!! This is my FAVOURITE book ever it always starts me crying from like page 10 straight until the end 😭 Jim Kay's illustrations are gorgeous and Patrick Ness treats Siobhan Dowd's idea with such care and tenderness and ugh I could talk about this for hours. The film and the play are also both amazing, definitely recommend watching the play if you ever get the chance. Literally just watching the start of this episode the "finally let her go" had me crying - I don't know how you managed to talk coherently at all about this ♥ ♥ ♥

    • @CinemaTherapyShow
      @CinemaTherapyShow  Год назад +3

      We struggled to. It's a beautiful and heartbreaking story.

    • @whatsappme4025
      @whatsappme4025 Год назад

      Congratulations 🎉 you have been selected among the shortlisted winner's for the ongoing Ps5 giveaway What'sapp the number above👆.

  • @boldfacedEeVeE
    @boldfacedEeVeE Год назад +4

    That line “of course you’re scared. It will be hard. It will be worse than hard, but you will make it through…” has been the strength giving line of my life. I served in the military and had to get two major surgeries on my feet and legs. I didn’t walk for two years. Meanwhile my husband left me because taking care of me was too much for him to take. I genuinely didn’t think I’d learn to get up onto my feet and walk again (physically and metaphorically), but I did. Years later, and a whole lot of physical and emotional therapy, I’ve made it through. So yes, life is hard, it is worse than hard, but we will make it through. Thank you for breaking down this beautiful movie that has such a special place in my heart.❤

  • @ancorealm
    @ancorealm Год назад +22

    This movie reminds me of another one called I Kill Giants. In that movie the “monster” is more a representation of negative emotions surrounding a dying parent rather than the healing side, but it got me just as emotional. This was a really great video :)

    • @probsnooneyouknowtbh3712
      @probsnooneyouknowtbh3712 Год назад +2

      That's funny; I actually watched that one for an English class a few years ago so that's what I was thinking of too. Didn't expect anyone else to mention it!

    • @elaineb7065
      @elaineb7065 Год назад +1

      I've seen that too. It's an awesome film

    • @KiraMasquerade
      @KiraMasquerade Год назад +1

      I love that one too!

  • @calemcclure2573
    @calemcclure2573 Год назад +22

    I read this book when I was around 13-14. My best friend at the time had it and let me borrow it, and his mom had been sick for a long time. Reading it destroyed me. And then she passed away when we were around 16. So when this movie came out, I never watched it. Watching this video was the first time I had seen any part of this movie. And I cried so hard I couldn't breathe. But it was so healing to watch y'all talk about it and have so many feelings that I've had throughout my life, and especially pertaining to this subject matter, validated, after losing someone who became like a mother to me and wishing for so long that I could fix this for my friend, someone I loved and cared for so deeply, and I couldn't. So thank you for talking about this movie. Means a lot for so many people that have been impacted by this story.

  • @lunacy5772
    @lunacy5772 Год назад +43

    I REQUESTED THIS MONTHS AGO, I can't tell you how much this means to me that you found time to cover this. I love you guys and your channels... thank you so much... I can cry happy...

  • @kbee8517
    @kbee8517 Год назад +17

    This film is very relatable for me (I haven't watched it, but from this video it seems like it). I grew up with my mom in and out of hospitals due to kidney issues and eventually failure. I struggled with fearing losing her. My parents were also divorced, though my father was emotionally and mentally abusive. There felt like there was no outlet for me, who felt expected to stay quiet and not act out or become emotional about it.
    I felt guilty for, at times, wishing it would be over and she would succumb to the issues just so it wasn't so terrible. It's an awful, terrible feeling for that thought to even come into your mind. In the end, as an adult, she's alive, doing dialysis three times a week, and I no longer speak to my father for now.
    The turmoil kids can go through when things are out of their control can be truly the worst. And yet coming out of those times as an adult who can make decisions is truly liberating. Choosing to heal and choosing to move forward are decisions one can make, and the process naturally follows. Knowing that things may happen, but you have the choice in how to respond is powerful. Thank you for covering this topic.

  • @Batkoku
    @Batkoku Год назад +21

    Both my parents wrote themselves out of my life. When they passed, I really felt...nothing. I always felt cheated about that. I feel like I've missed out on an important passage of life. I envy people who got to experience that loss as a raw, primal emotion. That or I just buried it so deep down, I can't even find it.

  • @anime991
    @anime991 Год назад +16

    I lost my mom last year after an incredibly long battle with MS that she was diagnosed with before I was born. We knew it was coming eventually, I thought I was ready. It's so painful to have to let go, I am happy that she is no longer hurting but I so often find myself wishing I could hug her one more time

  • @thedarkest9
    @thedarkest9 Год назад +12

    I’ve seen my mother in the hospital over and over again. I’ve thought of life without her, and it’s to much to bare. But then I see you. Someone who is so similar to me in personality and problems, who has lost what I fear losing most, and I know that my life will go on and that the best that I could do is carry her love and legacy forward to everyone else…

  • @bluefire486
    @bluefire486 Год назад +9

    The Lebowski clip was a wonderful clip to break the sad tension after the “if you need to break things, by god you break them” scene. I know I was crying right along with the boys

  • @sophieemmi7730
    @sophieemmi7730 Год назад +7

    My mom had cancer. I went to a camp for kids whose other parents had, we’re in treatment for, or had passed from cancer. There I met so many beautiful people struggling with hard life’s and on top there was cancer. Seeing on screen the pain my friends endured makes me happy and breaks my heart at the same time. Brought me to genuine tears. Thank you for making this episode.

  • @Shinarydk
    @Shinarydk Год назад +3

    That comment "Can't I just have peace?" I feel that. My entire life has been one misery after another. I NEVER get a break from anything. And when one problem is solved, another just comes along. I am constantly afraid, and I have to fight for what feels like mere survival all the time.

  • @brokenfoxx
    @brokenfoxx Год назад +8

    "I want it to be over" ....oh man, do I feel that. And I still struggle with the guilt from feeling that still.
    And the animation in that moment on the monster's face, when he speaks his truth, is incredible. Kudos to the team.
    This kid and Toby Kebbel both, give them more to do.

  • @samg5626
    @samg5626 Год назад +4

    “One thing that’s lovely about this story is that it’s a bad thing, happening to a kid…” I’m loving the minutes of silence before the explanation comes 😂

  • @chancewill6910
    @chancewill6910 Год назад +12

    "Recognize happiness as a state of gratitude as opposed to I don't have to have any problems."
    "Everything being perfect."
    I actually don't believe in perfect for kinda that reason. To me, perfection creates the idea that you can have no flaws at all when flaws are part of life and you kinda need them and if you chase being perfect, your life will suck. I live by "practice makes better"

  • @energiesolaire5738
    @energiesolaire5738 Год назад +6

    Such an underrated movie for young folks... I love the 3 stories told by the giant tree. Gorgeous ! In France, the title is "Few minutes after midnight" which is the moment the monster is showing up but also the few minutes after his mom dies when you feel both relieved and devastated and this is the moment that the character is waiting for during the whole movie.
    It deals with so many subjects about growing up but also grief and loss when someone is dying but slowly and in great pain.
    The damages within yourself when you actually wish the person's death so disease and fear can finally vanish from your life is very relatable because when you witnessed agony very closely at some point you only see, breath and hear and live through those super devastating feelings and despair. You don't have time to deal with what is up to you and the character is in between childhood and teenage years aka the moment you have to be self-centered and focused on you. You feel like you are the worst child, spouse or sibling that ever lived while it is very normal to hope for better things to finally happen after being through hell. When you know it is over for a long time but it is not done yet, it's like purgatory. I personnaly felt bad to be inside my body, i wished i became a little mouse you know. At some point, the person that you love isn't the same anymore and in the end, you can only see the illness. And you are like "How dare I ? I am not the one suffering, i am not the one dying ? I should be ashamed to feel the way I feel ! I am not strong enough and that is making me both sad and angry.". And meanwhile life goes on around you and it's a crazy moment to be in. Your life is falling apart, what you thought was super solid is becoming very weak and it seems like no one truly cares.
    It is also so depressing to discover that all efforts made by everyone, all what your family have been through to fight, all the nights you all spent at the hospital and the hope you had were pointless. In the end, you lose against it. You start to wish never to have hoped anything in the beginning : "I should have known it was doomed. How stupid of me!". It is full disappointment and you can't tell yourself it was still worthy to try and unavoidable to never give up (If i had to do it again, i would have always done the same). It comes later.
    Then, the most heartbreaking part to me was to discover that i had forgotten how his voice sounded like and how he truly was alive, all the little details. He became an idea, a memory, a ghost and I felt really bad for it. I thought he deserved better but that's life.
    I didn't cry because of sadness, i cried because i knew that he was going to heal and go on with his life thanks to his relatives including his mom.

  • @fishsherman
    @fishsherman Год назад +8

    Once in a while a film comes along that is so emotionally overwhelming it even lingers for days after. This is one of those films. What broke me was not only the end, but the scene where Connor and his grandmother were racing back to the hospital and have a conversation in the car. Tears flowed uncontrollably. And when Connor finally says goodbye to his mother, it was actually relief. "SPEAK THE TRUTH!"

  • @a.summers9180
    @a.summers9180 Год назад +40

    I was actually thinking about rewatching this movie soon & was talking about with a friend yeasterday. 😹
    Back in my senior year of high school, I read this for our young adult novel class' horror unit and was shocked by how much it scared me and how influential book and movie were to my writing and my life. The level of writing to me is on par with Haiyo Miyazaki's writing.
    And I was legitimately surprised how close movie sticks to the original book unlike so many other movie adaptations.
    At the time of posting of this comment, *A Monster Calls* is up on Netflix for anyone who wants to watch it.

    • @tinahawley320
      @tinahawley320 Год назад +3

      I believe one of the reasons the movie is so close is that Patrick Ness (the author of the original book) was very closely involved in writing the screenplay, if not the main screen writer. He's very good in both mediums, so I recommend all his books and movies (except the Chaos Walking film, which isn't his fault, as the concept was factually impossible to put to screen correctly).