How To Respond When Your Wife Wants An Open Marriage

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  • Опубликовано: 21 дек 2024

Комментарии • 37

  • @GeoffreySetiawan
    @GeoffreySetiawan  Год назад +4

    Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
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  • @kennethsosa9806
    @kennethsosa9806 Год назад +5

    My wife asked me to consider an open marriage less than a month ago. We’ve been separated for more than a year. Ever since we’ve separated she has been talking to this guy and she told me she wants to be with him. I told her last week that I would rather just get a divorce than an open marriage and she didn’t really respond(probably not the best thing I could say). She just came back and we’re living together again to coparent(she moved out of state for a year and a half and the guy she’s been talking to is basically a train ride away) I know they’ve been seeing each other and stuff. But I’m just now trying to work on myself(those year and a half she was gone, all I felt was anger towards her and the guy and that I was a victim) and I told her I’m not giving up. This video is helpful in my situation. I told her I’m not gonna stand between her and the guy that she’s talking to and that my main reason for doing this is for myself primarily. But I’m also doing it for my kids and hopefully fix our marriage. It’s hard knowing that while I’m not at home she’s on the phone with the guy and all. But I’m trying my best to just be better everyday.

    • @michaelshoe1375
      @michaelshoe1375 6 месяцев назад +2

      I definitely understand how you feel. My wife was interested in another guy a while back. I don't think they slept together or even kissed, but the guy used her in other ways (like getting her to rent a truck in her name, helping him move into a new home, sweeping the floor and scrubbing until she rubbed blisters on her hands, etc.) He never considered her for a relationship or dating, though. Not only did I feel bad for her, but it hurt me to see her putting in so much effort when she was no longer putting in the effort with me -- even though she still loves me, we would still cuddle, were sexually intimate and so on. Also, she told me about him while, at the same time, kept her relationship with me a secret from him. It truly hurts, so I get how you feel.
      To me, it seems like you are taking good steps by working on yourself, letting her know that you're not going to stand in the way of her potential happiness with the other guy and so on while, at the same time, telling her that you're still hopeful. Maybe just ask her a lot of "how do you feel" questions, ask her "can you talk more about that", empathize and then repeat back to her what you understand by paraphrasing what she just said. Hopefully, she'll see how much you've truly changed and are better than the other guy. Best of luck!

    • @bud5084
      @bud5084 5 месяцев назад +3

      She wants your security but his body. It just doesn't work that way. Kick her to the curb. You are being used.

  • @JFritters
    @JFritters Год назад

    Hey Geoffrey, what do you think of Polyamory, is this a desire for being poly be considered the same thing as an open relationship?

  • @professorg7387
    @professorg7387 Год назад

    We are an OSDD system, with autism, in a female body. We have experienced sexual extreme trauma such as incest and sex trafficking. We wish our husband would understand how difficult it is to share our body with another human, at all. But it’s even worse when your only partner in life is not making you feel safe, validated, seen, or heard. We ask again every few years for an open marriage, in hopes our partner has grown more open or transformed their own trauma. . . But so far no luck there. Guess we have a lifetime to wait after all. 😢

  • @Joltstor
    @Joltstor Год назад +1

    Have you considered a podcast?

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Год назад +3

      One day :) Focusing my efforts on growing my coaching team at the moment!

  • @bud5084
    @bud5084 5 месяцев назад +3

    Divorce

  • @Youtuber-lv6eh
    @Youtuber-lv6eh 2 месяца назад

    My wife asked me for a open relationship. I managed to fix “us”. There were never a open relationship. But something broke. It really broke. My trust for her broke. But I have kids and a mortage. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  • @missphilosophie
    @missphilosophie 5 дней назад

    If a woman wants an open relationship, she doesn't respect you and she's not attracted to you.
    Get out for your selfesteem and kids as she will continue to make bad decsions.

  • @gamitha2213
    @gamitha2213 Год назад +5

    Definitely sharing this with my brother since his partner said she wants an open relationship. I hope that this way he will finally start listening to me about how good this channel and the program is

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Год назад +1

      Great! Appreciate comments like these!

    • @martin99110
      @martin99110 Год назад +2

      She definitely has someone else in mind.
      There’s a study that most women who want an open marriage have someone lines up or thinking of someone.

    • @gamitha2213
      @gamitha2213 Год назад

      @@Redesign24 he couldn't, loved her too much and couldn't control his emotions. In the end, she asked to leave him and he was left emotionally destroyed

    • @gamitha2213
      @gamitha2213 Год назад +1

      @@Redesign24 i hope he learns from it instead of doing the same mistakes again. I helped him the best I could but he wouldn't listen. I was like him before... anyway, to fall sometimes is part of the process.

  • @Tech2feed
    @Tech2feed Год назад

    Hey Geoffrey i did some terrible things and I lost trust of my gf. Now she is saying she doesn't trust me at all I am following your videos and planting seeds and I have watched your videos on trust as well . Both of us did terrible things and now we lost trust for each other . In her perspective I don't trust her but for me after all this I still trust her. she said to me that she doesn't trust me at all and we shouldn't trust each other . So do you have any suggestions to improve my relationship condition?

    • @user-vn1di4oq4w
      @user-vn1di4oq4w Год назад

      If youre not married or dont have kids together...imo id say learn your lessons and move on

    • @Tech2feed
      @Tech2feed Год назад +1

      @@user-vn1di4oq4w it's not a short term relationship. We are together since 7 years

    • @RossBayCult
      @RossBayCult Год назад +1

      You need to watch more of Geoffrey’s videos because it helped me.

    • @Tech2feed
      @Tech2feed Год назад

      @@RossBayCult suggestion? Video's

    • @Tech2feed
      @Tech2feed Год назад

      @@RossBayCult i am watching his videos.are you taking about any perticular title?

  • @theduboisposse
    @theduboisposse 2 месяца назад +4

    C'mon boys. If this is on the table, she has lost all respect for you. Move on.

  • @dgim1231
    @dgim1231 7 месяцев назад +4

    I'm SO TIRED of watching videos of when men are unhappy in a relationship it's the man's fault and he needs to change. But when the woman in unhappy........ AGAIN, THE MAN NEEDS TO CHANGE. Such bullshit. The woman is never accountable it seems.

    • @MrCook412
      @MrCook412 4 месяца назад

      I don't think Geoffrey is necessarily saying it's the mans fault. But instead I think he saying that we have the power to reattract if we don't respond in the typical man way. I guess if you care enough you will try everything But who knows, most of us on here are in the same boat...

  • @WilliamCarter-sv7ny
    @WilliamCarter-sv7ny Год назад

    Hello Geoffrey, another amazing video! I'm curious on your opinion in my current situation as my relationship has fallen apart. As I religiously watch your videos, go to therapy, work on continuing to better myself I have not heard from my partner in near 2 months time. I reached out, opened the door as you suggest, and continue to work. However I made the mistake of contacting her friend as she was mutually our friend for quite some time. Regardless, should I reach out again after no response? Or shall I continue to wait and work? Thank you so much!!

    • @mynther4423
      @mynther4423 Год назад

      If she's expressed that she doesn't want you to contact her, then respect that, and work on yourself. If she's stonewalling you without any reply what so ever, take that as a sign that she wants to be left alone. If you're working on yourself, having contact with her shouldn't make any difference, no?

    • @WilliamCarter-sv7ny
      @WilliamCarter-sv7ny Год назад +1

      @Mynther thanks for the tip! I think stonewalling would most likely be the case. I suppose I'm still anxious about her returning and/or if she thinks I'm mad. Perhaps that just overthinking. I have really enjoyed learning about me though through this process. In a way. I'm proud of her for such a separation because I like this growth even though I do miss her

    • @GeoffreySetiawan
      @GeoffreySetiawan  Год назад +2

      Wait and work - but you must have a very precise definition of what "waiting and working" means.
      A lot of people have a lot of different definitions of what it means to "better the self". My definition is very different, and the standards of how I define "better" is also very different. Leaving you with a couple of videos here:
      ruclips.net/video/g-QMnQBbnl8/видео.html
      ruclips.net/video/YI6nS_Rj6QI/видео.html
      And as you are doing the "work" to get better, you should also continue to find very surgical, creative and effective ways to manufacture contact.
      ruclips.net/video/cXue29R61E0/видео.html

  • @dlainegermyn8854
    @dlainegermyn8854 Год назад +1

    Boy, does my husband ever need to hear what you have to say! From a woman's perspective, you are so on point!

    • @michaelshoe1375
      @michaelshoe1375 6 месяцев назад

      My wife and I have been physically separated for a year and a half now, but she emotionally detached maybe 3 years before that even. Whenever she and I first split, she was DONE. However, we still see each other regularly, cuddle, are sexually intimate and so on for the past several months -- she's even considered reconciliation, but that's because I was pressuring her during her periods of having mixed feelings about it...THEN, she'd change her might because I'd keep messing up by applying constant pressure, getting angry or "pissy" and so on. She tells me she still wants me in her heart, but doesn't see in her mind the possibility of reconciliation due to a past with me where she didn't feel emotionally safe (although she has noticed an amazing difference in me since I've been listening to these videos). Plus, her family hates me and has gone as far as threatening to disown her if she gets back with me. Although she isn't interested at this time, she is keeping the door to dating others in the future open. If/when this happens, should I continue to maintain my relationship with her as is (the cudding, intimacy and so on) if that is what she wants, or should I choose to step away? I know she loves me, is rooting for me and deep down wants me in her heart, but I also understand why she is considering other options. I don't blame her, but not sure what I should do if/when that time comes.