It is people who dress poorly who often try to mock and tear down your attempts at dressing well. In my experience, resist by silence - you generally only lose by engaging with the negative opinions. There is usually someone else in the room who can provide a more positive conversation. It also avoids sinking to be uncharitable to the person who is threatened. This is all about boundaries as James has said in this video.
I’ve started watching your vids for an hour now and I’ve learnt a lot to being a gentleman even though I was born in 2010 i think being chivalrous still matters and also the reason I look up to people like Christopher Lee and Frank Sinatra keep it up Charlie
James, excellent tips. I would add: 1. Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Be authentic. 2. Your clothes. Press your clothes, wear appropriate clean attire for the situation. You won’t go wrong if you wear dark grey slacks, a white or blue button down shirt, a leather belt that matches your shoe color, make time to polish your shoes, tuck your shirt in, wear dark color socks, and a navy blue blazer, with or without gold buttons. 3. Maintain your bearing. Don’t get too excited, anxious, or nervous, even when the world around you is on fire. Take a deep breath and say to yourself, “Two tears in a bucket, MotherBucket!” Or “Mind over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!” 4. Study and practice core values - Honor, Courage, Commitment 5. Study and practice the following leadership principles: Integrity, Judgment, Setting the Example, Selflessness 6. Ask for help. Leaders ask for help. If you are down in the dumps, reach out to your mom, or dad, and let them know you are feeling down and need their encouragement. Stressed about work, let your wife know that you are stressed and worried, she will make you feel better. You can also ask your girlfriend, as long as you are in a long term relationship and she’s not immature. If you are in a truly bad place, dial 988. Remember fellas, things are never as bad as we think they are. Tomorrow is a new day, a day to start anew, renewed 7. Purpose. Find and purse a purpose greater than self. Find everyday opportunities to say kind words to people. The young bubba who served you that delicious Happy Meal at McDonald’s. Volunteer with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. Consider joining City Year, AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps, the Marine Corps! 8. Exercise. Walk, run, mountain bike, bike, swim, lift weights, repeat…test your endurance regularly. Run 3 miles, then do max pull-ups, push-ups and squats…to exhaustion. Then run another 3 miles! You can do it, if you put your mind to it. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water 💦 9. Pray 🙏. I’m Catholic, don’t go to church regularly, I’m a sinner, but I am usually in prayer throughout the day. At night, I thank Jesus, the Lord Our God, for taking care of my family, friends and I. 10. Have fun and enjoy every moment. The past is gone, the present is real, the future is unknown and may not include you, at least in this lifetime. Enjoy the journey. Signed, Lieutenant Colonel, United States Marine Corps (Retired) now a marketing executive living the dream!
Great list. Lifting weights will help with posture as well. Especially dead lifts and pull ups. ( you can do deadlifts with a trap bar to reduce strain on back but it's a great exercise)
Once I retired, I started to grow a beard and up my clothing selections. I immediately saw a public reaction of 'holy $hit! Who is this dude??' People ask me why I'm dressed up. I reply, because I can, and this is how I envisioned my retirement. Nice restaurants, surrounded by nice people. I've noticed an improvement in my overall health and well being. We can always use improvements tho. Cheers from a New subscriber.
A lot of people stubbornly refuse to accept it but if you dress like a person who has no respect for yourself, others won't treat you with much respect. Maybe that's not fair but it is the truth.
A posture routine I can recommend is with a doorway pull up bar. 1) dead hang for 10-15 seconds until your pelvis drops (it's better to keep some of your weight on your feet) 2) active hang for 15 seconds, trying to push your chest through the doorway 3) raise your legs in front of you, maintaining the active hang for as long as you can - it will train the lower abs also. Try adding seconds of hanging to points 2 and 3 as you progress. Implement this routine to your mornings and Try repeating it throughout the day. It worked for me in a matter of days and still helps me to keep good posture. It's also beneficial for joint longevity and forearm strength. Good luck, gentlemen!
Hi James, I've just discovered your channel yesterday. The hunched back thing that you mentioned is easily fixed. There are computer desks that convert from sitting to standing.
Congratulations on the Fort Belvedere sponsor! I saw that GG episode featuring you, 40 over fashion and Raphael. Would love to see more crossovers with those guys
@@4879daniel Ah it was lovely! Met some very interesting gentlemen (it was packed at the pub!) and of course Raphael, James, Ash and Jack were charming
Respect is not commanded, demanded, given freely, requested under intimidation, taught, it is earned from experience. Arrogance and snobbery only negates the that honour. Common sense in human understanding should be a top drawer at all times.
I have noticed that some men choose to look elsewhere when discussing emotional matters. They may sit in such a way where they can look straight ahead but to the side of the other person. I understand that this is an indication that the confession they want to make is painful or anxiety ridden. I appreciate a man who can look me in the face when opening up.
One of my favourite words - Gravitas. In work when it’s hierarchical, it’s very easy to feel inadequate around older, more successful people and shrink into your chair. The tips here are again, excellent. I wish someone had told me this stuff 25 years ago when I went to my first job clueless and badly dressed.
One thing I’d like to add is being able to command respect before you’re at the table. That means being a thought leader, having some reputation in your field, accomplishments - intangible things that may not relate to appearance. It is important to invest in building up a reputation and brand while you’re still young, which can reinforce your accomplishments.
Good point. This takes time though, and in the meantime, especially when you’re young and starting out, there’s something to the idea of faking it until you make it, so to speak
In the 1999 movie "The Thomas Crown Affair," there's a wide shot of Pierce Brosnan walking through the Thomas Crown building. His stride, posture, suit, and undeniable self-confidence are the gold standard for commanding respect without saying a word. He not only owns that building, he owns the world. (But... The World Is Not Enough)
Its about respecting yourself first. Gaining confidence in yourself. Dressing up doesn't always do it. It's only clothing. I've met men who dress smart , but they aren't men who deserve respect.
Sadly some people still believe that respect is a one way street. People are not obligated to respect you, but you are not obligated to take disrespect from others either.
For shoulders, grab a 4' dowel or use a broom, grip the dowel at the end (if 4') and lower it with both hands behind your head and shoulders, do this several times each day to loosen up your shoulders as they become tight from typing.
I like your stuff and applaud your 'mission.'. I do think you should be wary of occasionally drifting off into the Manosphere. You don't want to attract weirdos who frequent those sites
Agree is pity that in the school they don’t teach you about communication skills and the art of dialog. Old Greeks,Romans,maybe even the Prussians thought you those skills.Today they don’t teach a lot in the schools.
@Gent Z, James, can you recommend a source for jackets built without shoulder pads ? Rarely I encounter one accidentally, and I seldom find them when I’m needing a new blazer / jacket / sport-coat. Tailored: yes. But the shoulders-built-up or not-need to be in the correct spot. Unlike sleeve length or waist fit, shoulders cannot be sorted out simply by a tailor (not unless he’s starting from zero and creating a new jacket just for you).
6 ways to be respected (Without saying a word) : 1. Dress in intent 2. Walk with confidence 3. Master eye contact 4. Control your voice 5. Practice self-respect 6. Use body language
having watched a few of your videos there is one item I would add too many younger fellows think it's "cool" to wear logo baseball caps even in starred restaurants where there is no formal dress code. perhaps you remember the Sopranos episode where Tony goes into a fine restaurant and a 30-ish guy insists on wearing a cap. I sometimes wish I could also approach the fellow, ask once politely and then threaten to knock the hat and his head. off. leaving for London in a few. I'll be certain to dress well for martinis at Dukes
3:47 I didn't know I had a bad walking posture until my ladyfriend pointed it out to me. I was astounded that over the years, none of my close friends ever pointed it out to me. They would have been doing me a *favour* by *saying something*
Hi, I've been a watcher for a while and I must slightly disagree with the point about video games being put in a bad light I'd argue that video games, in moderation, can be a good way to improve hand eye coordination, empathy (with single player story driven games), and another way to socialise
Congratulations 🍾. Now go get yourself a watch better than a Rolex. Gift yourself a Casio F-91W. Trust me, you are going to like the way you feel, and true watch enthusiasts will look at your watch and think, “Yep, he has class and style.”
James, if you encountered me, a blind man who carries a white cane, what would still give you the impression that I was a confident gentleman despite some of the differences you might observe? For example, while I can look in your general direction based on your voice, it’s unlikely I’ll be making true eye Contact with you despite my best efforts. While I can move around confidently in a space in which I am familiar, if I’m less familiar, I’m of course going to move with more hesitancy and caution. About your advice to wear a wrist watch, since I cannot see the face of the watch, and, unlike the iPhone I’m using right now, there’s no concept of screen reader software on an analog watch, would it be disingenuous for me to still wear one? I still like the idea of having that accessory. Thanks! I always enjoy pondering how I can adapt your advice to my situation. Cheers
In software development, there’s actually a reverse perception that the better dressed a guy is, the worse he is at his job. This comes from the stupid stereotype of the young, cocky programmer who shows up in hoodies and joggers and takes over the world one day. I choose to dress nicely and be good at my job :)
Mate, your feet point out when you walk, it makes you look goofy. It’s likely something you have developed over time. It is best to get rid of that trait as soon as possible.
@@Asymmetrization no doubt. The point I am trying to make is that we, who are professed gentlemen, must mitigate the impact of the first impression by getting to know people. When they make a great initial first impression and when they don’t. I’m a wiseman now. I’ve been screwed over by people who have made an initial great impression, as well as not screwed over by them; and been helped immensely by people who initially made a bad impression. Especially those who I may have met when they were having a bad day and/or simply didn’t have the resources to wear appropriate attire for an occasion. Have a great day, brother
It is people who dress poorly who often try to mock and tear down your attempts at dressing well. In my experience, resist by silence - you generally only lose by engaging with the negative opinions. There is usually someone else in the room who can provide a more positive conversation. It also avoids sinking to be uncharitable to the person who is threatened. This is all about boundaries as James has said in this video.
"Generation of gentlemen" is a great phrase. It sounds impressive when spoken and it gets straight to the point. Superb job, James!
I enjoy this channel as a lady. There's much to learn in it no matter your gender.
For gentlemen, reputation is everything when commanding respect and it must be developed and guarded at all costs.
Shout out to Raphael & the Gentlemen's gazette team... the undisputed champions of sartorial gentlemanliness
Your message is concise, and considerate of your audience.
I’ve started watching your vids for an hour now and I’ve learnt a lot to being a gentleman even though I was born in 2010 i think being chivalrous still matters and also the reason I look up to people like Christopher Lee and Frank Sinatra keep it up
Charlie
James, excellent tips. I would add:
1. Be yourself. Don’t try to be someone you are not. Be authentic.
2. Your clothes. Press your clothes, wear appropriate clean attire for the situation. You won’t go wrong if you wear dark grey slacks, a white or blue button down shirt, a leather belt that matches your shoe color, make time to polish your shoes, tuck your shirt in, wear dark color socks, and a navy blue blazer, with or without gold buttons.
3. Maintain your bearing. Don’t get too excited, anxious, or nervous, even when the world around you is on fire. Take a deep breath and say to yourself, “Two tears in a bucket, MotherBucket!” Or “Mind over matter, if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter!”
4. Study and practice core values - Honor, Courage, Commitment
5. Study and practice the following leadership principles: Integrity, Judgment, Setting the Example, Selflessness
6. Ask for help. Leaders ask for help. If you are down in the dumps, reach out to your mom, or dad, and let them know you are feeling down and need their encouragement. Stressed about work, let your wife know that you are stressed and worried, she will make you feel better. You can also ask your girlfriend, as long as you are in a long term relationship and she’s not immature. If you are in a truly bad place, dial 988. Remember fellas, things are never as bad as we think they are. Tomorrow is a new day, a day to start anew, renewed
7. Purpose. Find and purse a purpose greater than self. Find everyday opportunities to say kind words to people. The young bubba who served you that delicious Happy Meal at McDonald’s. Volunteer with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. Consider joining City Year, AmeriCorps, the Peace Corps, the Marine Corps!
8. Exercise. Walk, run, mountain bike, bike, swim, lift weights, repeat…test your endurance regularly. Run 3 miles, then do max pull-ups, push-ups and squats…to exhaustion. Then run another 3 miles! You can do it, if you put your mind to it. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water 💦
9. Pray 🙏. I’m Catholic, don’t go to church regularly, I’m a sinner, but I am usually in prayer throughout the day. At night, I thank Jesus, the Lord Our God, for taking care of my family, friends and I.
10. Have fun and enjoy every moment. The past is gone, the present is real, the future is unknown and may not include you, at least in this lifetime. Enjoy the journey.
Signed, Lieutenant Colonel, United States Marine Corps (Retired) now a marketing executive living the dream!
This video came out at the right time. Thanks Gent Z
Great job James, addressing the core values as much as the looks ❤
Great list. Lifting weights will help with posture as well. Especially dead lifts and pull ups. ( you can do deadlifts with a trap bar to reduce strain on back but it's a great exercise)
Once I retired, I started to grow a beard and up my clothing selections. I immediately saw a public reaction of 'holy $hit! Who is this dude??' People ask me why I'm dressed up. I reply, because I can, and this is how I envisioned my retirement. Nice restaurants, surrounded by nice people. I've noticed an improvement in my overall health and well being. We can always use improvements tho. Cheers from a New subscriber.
A lot of people stubbornly refuse to accept it but if you dress like a person who has no respect for yourself, others won't treat you with much respect. Maybe that's not fair but it is the truth.
I hope you had a great night sir! Sorry to have missed it, regards to all who attended.
A posture routine I can recommend is with a doorway pull up bar.
1) dead hang for 10-15 seconds until your pelvis drops (it's better to keep some of your weight on your feet)
2) active hang for 15 seconds, trying to push your chest through the doorway
3) raise your legs in front of you, maintaining the active hang for as long as you can - it will train the lower abs also.
Try adding seconds of hanging to points 2 and 3 as you progress.
Implement this routine to your mornings and Try repeating it throughout the day.
It worked for me in a matter of days and still helps me to keep good posture. It's also beneficial for joint longevity and forearm strength.
Good luck, gentlemen!
Hi James,
I've just discovered your channel yesterday. The hunched back thing that you mentioned is easily fixed. There are computer desks that convert from sitting to standing.
Thank you for great advice !
Wow! 2 minutes ago?! This is the very first time I have ever been this early to a video!
Same
James, this is great- thanks.
Great video! Thank you for the Toastmasters plug.
Well said James, as always.
Congratulations on the Fort Belvedere sponsor! I saw that GG episode featuring you, 40 over fashion and Raphael. Would love to see more crossovers with those guys
Vows are spoken
To be broken
Feelings are intense
Words are trivial
Pleasures remain
So does the pain
Words are meaningless
And forgettable
Confusion is to commotion
What love is to our devotion
Deceptively big, big as the ocean
And equally hard to control
Depeche Mode.
I remember viewing Jack's Fort Belvedere tie at the meetup last night - I was certainly impressed
You went to the London meet? How was it? I would like to have gone but couldn’t make it.
@@4879daniel Ah it was lovely! Met some very interesting gentlemen (it was packed at the pub!) and of course Raphael, James, Ash and Jack were charming
@@joshmiller7777 it was great to finally meet you!
@@Gent.Z Likewise James, you were a gentleman!
Respect is not commanded, demanded, given freely, requested under intimidation, taught, it is earned from experience. Arrogance and snobbery only negates the that honour. Common sense in human understanding should be a top drawer at all times.
I have noticed that some men choose to look elsewhere when discussing emotional matters. They may sit in such a way where they can look straight ahead but to the side of the other person. I understand that this is an indication that the confession they want to make is painful or anxiety ridden. I appreciate a man who can look me in the face when opening up.
Excellent tips to say the least, especially with "it's not what you say but how you say it".
One of my favourite words - Gravitas.
In work when it’s hierarchical, it’s very easy to feel inadequate around older, more successful people and shrink into your chair.
The tips here are again, excellent. I wish someone had told me this stuff 25 years ago when I went to my first job clueless and badly dressed.
Yes James you never get a second chance to make a first impression
one of the wisest videos, recently
Congrats on 100k!
Really great ideas!!
One thing I’d like to add is being able to command respect before you’re at the table. That means being a thought leader, having some reputation in your field, accomplishments - intangible things that may not relate to appearance.
It is important to invest in building up a reputation and brand while you’re still young, which can reinforce your accomplishments.
Good point. This takes time though, and in the meantime, especially when you’re young and starting out, there’s something to the idea of faking it until you make it, so to speak
@@pensivepenguin3000 you can hire a team/person to turbocharge it if you’re in a high paying industry
In the 1999 movie "The Thomas Crown Affair," there's a wide shot of Pierce Brosnan walking through the Thomas Crown building. His stride, posture, suit, and undeniable self-confidence are the gold standard for commanding respect without saying a word. He not only owns that building, he owns the world. (But... The World Is Not Enough)
Great suit and tie combination, James. Could you tell me the brands? Also, another great video!
Its about respecting yourself first. Gaining confidence in yourself. Dressing up doesn't always do it. It's only clothing. I've met men who dress smart , but they aren't men who deserve respect.
Sadly some people still believe that respect is a one way street. People are not obligated to respect you, but you are not obligated to take disrespect from others either.
For shoulders, grab a 4' dowel or use a broom, grip the dowel at the end (if 4') and lower it with both hands behind your head and shoulders, do this several times each day to loosen up your shoulders as they become tight from typing.
I like your stuff and applaud your 'mission.'. I do think you should be wary of occasionally drifting off into the Manosphere. You don't want to attract weirdos who frequent those sites
Agree is pity that in the school they don’t teach you about communication skills and the art of dialog.
Old Greeks,Romans,maybe even the Prussians thought you those skills.Today they don’t teach a lot in the schools.
@Gent Z, James, can you recommend a source for jackets built without shoulder pads ? Rarely I encounter one accidentally, and I seldom find them when I’m needing a new blazer / jacket / sport-coat. Tailored: yes. But the shoulders-built-up or not-need to be in the correct spot. Unlike sleeve length or waist fit, shoulders cannot be sorted out simply by a tailor (not unless he’s starting from zero and creating a new jacket just for you).
Wow, James is collabing with Gentleman’s Gazzette now!?
6 ways to be respected (Without saying a word) :
1. Dress in intent
2. Walk with confidence
3. Master eye contact
4. Control your voice
5. Practice self-respect
6. Use body language
having watched a few of your videos there is one item I would add too many younger fellows think it's "cool" to wear logo baseball caps even in starred restaurants where there is no formal dress code. perhaps you remember the Sopranos episode where Tony goes into a fine restaurant and a 30-ish guy insists on wearing a cap. I sometimes wish I could also approach the fellow, ask once politely and then threaten to knock the hat and his head. off. leaving for London in a few. I'll be certain to dress well for martinis at Dukes
The 1979 film “Being There” is the ultimate display of how the critical importance of conservative clothes can influence change.
3:47 I didn't know I had a bad walking posture until my ladyfriend pointed it out to me. I was astounded that over the years, none of my close friends ever pointed it out to me. They would have been doing me a *favour* by *saying something*
Hi, I've been a watcher for a while and I must slightly disagree with the point about video games being put in a bad light
I'd argue that video games, in moderation, can be a good way to improve hand eye coordination, empathy (with single player story driven games), and another way to socialise
James, I really like your suit, however when I click the link the suit is out of stock. Do you remember the name of the suit, it looks live a Havana?
@@antoinevandenbroek2705 it’s the super 110s wool from Vitalae Barberis
My French teacher (a French man) always wears the same tie, a faded, cheap looking one.
He should watch this.
Hello gentlemen
Never slouch.
First comment! Where is my gold Rolex?
Congratulations 🍾. Now go get yourself a watch better than a Rolex. Gift yourself a Casio F-91W. Trust me, you are going to like the way you feel, and true watch enthusiasts will look at your watch and think, “Yep, he has class and style.”
@@CaptainWillard830I’m literally wearing a Casio F-105 😂😂😂 I’ll get there…
@@CaptainWillard830 You can take a deep breath - I am not a Rolex guy. Much prefer VC and JLC :)
Mine is in the deposit box. I keep the Explorer II on the wrist daily.
Try the longine spirit 37mm in champagne
Why is there a Playboy magazine in the back🤨🤨🤨
If you want to improve posture, participate in a barre class. Added benefit is you will be a rare male in a room full of health-minded women.
Initiate mission
James, if you encountered me, a blind man who carries a white cane, what would still give you the impression that I was a confident gentleman despite some of the differences you might observe? For example, while I can look in your general direction based on your voice, it’s unlikely I’ll be making true eye Contact with you despite my best efforts. While I can move around confidently in a space in which I am familiar, if I’m less familiar, I’m of course going to move with more hesitancy and caution. About your advice to wear a wrist watch, since I cannot see the face of the watch, and, unlike the iPhone I’m using right now, there’s no concept of screen reader software on an analog watch, would it be disingenuous for me to still wear one? I still like the idea of having that accessory. Thanks! I always enjoy pondering how I can adapt your advice to my situation. Cheers
Dress smart and people will think you are smart.
In software development, there’s actually a reverse perception that the better dressed a guy is, the worse he is at his job. This comes from the stupid stereotype of the young, cocky programmer who shows up in hoodies and joggers and takes over the world one day. I choose to dress nicely and be good at my job :)
@@pensivepenguin3000 luckily I'm not in that branch
remember also to keep the potato in the front of your pants, and not in the back. yw. cheers gentlemen!
Mate, your feet point out when you walk, it makes you look goofy. It’s likely something you have developed over time. It is best to get rid of that trait as soon as possible.
I must remark, that in order to get respect you must show respect, if you show that you respect others they will respect you.
Respect diminishes when a man starts pushing products for personal monetary gain.
As you do.
Advertising is not wrong, but it should on show only.
First impressions can be wrong. Don't rely on them
That’s true. Everyone, deserves a second chance. That includes ourselves
Sure. They can be wrong and they often are, but it remains true that they’re quite hard to overcome, so they’re still important
@@pensivepenguin3000 I never rely on first impressions. I need to get to know the people
That's true, but the point is that other people won't necessarily take note of this and thus you need still endeavour to make a good first impression.
@@Asymmetrization no doubt. The point I am trying to make is that we, who are professed gentlemen, must mitigate the impact of the first impression by getting to know people. When they make a great initial first impression and when they don’t. I’m a wiseman now. I’ve been screwed over by people who have made an initial great impression, as well as not screwed over by them; and been helped immensely by people who initially made a bad impression. Especially those who I may have met when they were having a bad day and/or simply didn’t have the resources to wear appropriate attire for an occasion. Have a great day, brother
Is there a lady's equivalent to your channel?
But also try not to look like your trousers have had an argument with your shoes. It just looks a bit teen aged.
Bring the pompadour with moustache back
The one thing you don’t do is that face on the thumbnail
Boring techniques, i prefer Harold Francis Callahan way of how to be respected.
The filter is strong on this one ...
I find ties repulsive, unfortunately.