Story 1: AITA for not babysitting for my sister in law any more after she called the police on me? Story 2: 5:27 AITA for saying that taking care of my kids by myself was 'relaxing', my wife thinks I am devaluing her contribution to our family and implying she's got it easy Story 3: 10:17 AITA for not cooking after everyone insulted what I was making? Story 4: 14:10 AITA for being upset after my MIL criticized my parenting and called my daughter disgusting?
Story 1: "there were no consequences" she had to leave work, lost time, and could have lost her work and her kids, there were consequences and could have been worst. Also, she used the kids as a weapon against her because they argued, she is not fit to even raise children.
And you know this wouldn't be the last time SIL pulled something like this. Next time the consequences for op could be worse. Best to just be done with the arrangement. Sometimes you have to be an ass to save yours.
The op did the right thing with not babysitting the sils kids after this big stunt the op could've lost their job and would find it very hard to find work after having abandonment charges against her. The ops bro might want to reconsider his marriage after this massive stunt
Who in the frick in their right mind calls the police just because someone needs an hour to pick up their kids? Oh, right, no one. The SIL is not well. NTA. I’d never talk to this witch again.
She could have told her anytime before the kids got dropped off since she already knew the arrangement they had. The OP's parents are enablers. I wouldn't care if it didn't cause problems this time, it could have caused problem. What if CPS got involved over this nonsense? What if the OP got held up and couldn't make it there before the police did?
And it's still not a true apology. She's still doubling down saying it's op's fault. "I'm sorry for what happened, but you did it to yourself." Not at all remorseful or able to see that she was wrong, so no guarantee it won't happen again.
I assume both the brother and SIL work minimum wage, child care is pretty expensive. It's why people come up with private arrangements like the one OP and SIL had.
@Melody Ackerman True, but how is that OP's problem? If her SIL hadn't burned that bridge with OP, she wouldn't be having to look for an alternative babysitter. I mean, if she was so dependent on OP, why drop the nuke on OP by calling the police on her? The SIL seem to be selfish jerk who demands that the world bend to her will, except she forgot the part where is isn't an all-powerful goddess.
@Melody Ackerman Sorry, I was making a point, it sounded like you were defending the SIL. Clearly I was wrong. And you're completely right, the pandemic could be the reason why OP's brother and SIL are tight on money, it only makes what the SIL did even more stupid if that's the case.
Storry 1 When you use the the agreement she calls the police ? I understand their was a dispute but that doesnt annul the agreement you have. She calls the poluce for no reason, just being a bee over a disagreement, and by doing jeipardizing your job ! Oh yeh, I just say sorry and "erase", humm. No way, she is unreliable, untrustworthy and pull jerk moves on OP. Play stupid games, win stupid prices. She is having the consequences of her OWN actions. Not your problem a'ymore, cuddies to you 👍
First story: so why don't OP's mother and brother take the kids to babysit them? If they're so casual to call her an idiot over what SIL did... They can't make you do anything you are not comfortable to do... If anything happens while the kids are under your care, she'll 100% blame you as getting back at her for the police thing...
NTA. My mom was primary cooker in family, sometimes my dad and then me when she was in grade school @ 15 in the 1980's. No one complained about the food otherwise they could make a sandwich or go to their room. Next 2 oldest kids are old enough and big enough to read a recipe and cook for the family. 2 teenagers too lazy to cook or even make sandwiches for them and their siblings, screw them, let them go hungry, idiots.
Story 2: Wife is TA because she laughed at him when he suggested taking care of his own kids and consistently doubted him. That's so much bs to throw at someone trying to give you a break and help you.
She probably saw herself as Mother of the Year and then realized (after observing OP) that she was just clocking in as average, and it was a blow to her ego.
You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child i would say it takes superman with a dun to do air traffic controller I'd be dying and terrified on inside
Story1: NTA. "Sorry it was your fault that you didn't check your phone and dance to my tune." Certainly no apology. No problem with childcare as the mother and brother can babysit. Story 2: Lady, take a lot more trips. Story 3: OP is doing very well for her age. I cook and you eat or don't. No comments or feed yourself. Story 4: I have one of these. Stand your ground. I hope your husband has a spine, unlike mine.
Story2: I agree the wife's stressed and needs more time off. But that doesn't excuse her disrespectful attitude. OP needs to put her in the dog-house. After she's pulled her head out of her butt, then they can talk about time off. No rewards for bad behaviour.
I had an aunt who fat shamed me for years. Fortunately, I only saw her a few times a year. After awhile, I realized she just may have been jealous of my curves because she was flat chested and had a minimal rear end. Kudos to OP for standing up to her toxic MIL and protecting her kid's self esteem.
Story2: Massive NTA. The wife's condescending attitude about OP's parenting skills was bad enough. But then blowing up at OP because he didn't fail like he expected, and making it all about her? Oh I don't think so! I get that she's stressed, but her attitude is unacceptable. Also, I smell a sh*t-test. What's she really upset about? Losing power? If OP can handle kids without her, what does he need her for? OP needs to put her in the dog-house, actions and words have consequences. After she's pulled her head out of her butt, then they can talk about giving her more breaks. Not before. No rewards for crappy behaviour.
Your wife needs more than that trip. You saw that she needed to be away from everybody. The kids are yours too she should have been happy you didn’t have a complaints. Life moves forward and if your wife is having problems and will not say she’s having a problem. Don’t feel bad maybe be she embarrassed to say she’s having problems. If there has been no problems you should look at what she is going through. If she hasn’t had any problems maybe you may need take a closer look at maybe getting her some help. What type of help? that’s for you and her to detriment.
@@wardkeith8385 She's literally a SAHM while her husband is an air traffic controller at 40. I don't mean to put it out there too hard, but her husband is likely at the end of his career if he works in a city (they tend to burn out before his age).
@@peteranon8455 Frankly I think the wife is the one who resisted going on vacations, convinced she's indispensable, and now is upset at being proven wrong.
@@peteranon8455 He didn't sound like he was burning out. Some people thrive in that kind of environment. Also, she obviously has no clue what his job entails if she thinks caring for 2 children over 30-50 airplanes moving hundreds of miles an hour only a few hundred yards apart is stressful. He said it was relaxing, because it was. At DFW in Texas, there is at least 1 plane taking off and 1 landing every 10 minutes, and DFW isn't even the biggest in the country, if he's at a major airport, staying with his kids was a vacation.
As a fellow SAHM, I can understand the feelings of burnout, wanting to get away, and also the fear of being easy to replace but these are not excuses for her behavior. If my husband did this for me and our son, I’d be super grateful and insanely attracted to him! Wife obviously needs to go to therapy as she has some unaddressed mental health issues going on. She could even have undiagnosed Postpartum Depression happening, considering that their children are still relatively young. But even then I have PPD and I haven’t lashed out at my husband like this.
Story 2: OP's wife has insecurity issues. What she wanted was to bring OP out of his home field into hers and validate herself by seeing him fail in her field of expertise. When OP did not, in fact, fail, her world view began crumbling because she set it up on the basis of, "my job is so hard, if I weren't the one doing it, it *couldn't* be done." and OP taking care of the kids proved that idea wrong.
Yup she's really upset at losing power. If OP can handle things without her, what does he need her for? I hope OP puts her in the dog-house. I don't care what stress she's under, her actions are unacceptable.
It’s one thing to watch the kids for one short weekend, and an entirely different thing to do it full time with very little time off for personal time away from the kids. Also without adults to talk to beyond six hours at night in between cooking dinner, cleaning up after it, baths, etc. It’s extremely isolating and you can feel like you’re so alone with small children who can’t speak on your level because they aren’t old enough and are completely dependent on you. Until you live like that 24/7 for years you can’t understand the toll it takes on your mental health and on your autonomy as a person. You can begin to feel like a slave with no other purpose but to serve 24/7 while having no life of your own or any other purpose. Some days you wonder why you even get out of bed because it’s the same monotonous routine every single day for years on end. You feel dead inside. You love your family but there’s nothing for just “you”. There’s never a break until everyone is old enough to care more for themselves. You can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself without little ones talking and trying to get at you outside the door. You do it for love, because someone has to, because the littles can’t survive without you doing everything for them. But it takes a lot out of you if you have nothing else to do but mind them for years on end. I’m from an isolated farming community in the middle of nowhere. Other types of jobs are scarce and go to the men more often than not. Jobs for women usually involve minding kids. There is very little entertainment here, not even a movie theater. There are nothing but fields for miles around as far as you can drive it’s nothing but fields. Houses can be miles apart and the main meeting place for women is church on Sundays. I married young, like most women do here. I speak from experience and unless you’ve lived it-you can’t guess and you’ll never understand what it’s like. So when this girl feels like her husband doesn’t understand from one weekend-she couldn’t be more correct. He doesn’t, period. He gets to leave and talk to other adults, socialize at work, have a life outside the house and time away from child rearing duties. He’s likely never been up in the wee hours of the night scrubbing vomit off the carpet because a small child couldn’t make it to the bathroom and forgot there was a trash can in their room. Or changing bed linens because someone had an accident in their bed. They haven’t spent countless days/hours helping with homework or school projects. Or up all night with feverish children who are sick. Or going to numerous doctors appointments with however many children you had. It would be easy for anyone for three days. Give your life to it and then come talk to me. Because that’s the only way you’ll ever “know” in order to speak about it.
Guys, if someone does something shitty to you, and you don’t want to associate with them again, that is completely fine. If the fallout of not associating with them costs them money, that is not your problem. You don’t owe people your time or dignity.
Mom upset that Dad didn't fail watching the kids: You'd think she'd be relieved! It shows that she can take some more time for herself without worrying about the house falling down.
First story....ah, I love karma. Sis in law is reaping the consequences of her actions. I love it. She can gas light all she wants. Calling the police automatically meant the babysitting arrangements had ended. Can’t understand how she thinks the arrangements will continue, and at any rate, she sends the text saying she won’t babysit literally as OP is about to drop them off for work. Trying to find a new babysitter on the spot is hard, so that’s also crappy of sil.
The cooking story: The first time my mother started to comment my cooking when I was behind the stove with food in pots, trying to lecture me how it’s done ‘properly’ I tossed the spatula I had in my hand on the counter and calmly told her since she believed she can do it better than me, she better do it herself and left the kitchen. She never did it again. (She was a very good cook though, but I just like to do it my way.) So the first time somebody nitpicked my cooking like the OP’s family would be the last time they ate my food. If they started to argue with me, they would have been told that since they don’t enjoy my cooking, I have no intention to waste my time on cooking for them. NTA
I wish I had done something like that when my now-fiancé used to tell me there was a better way to wash the dishes ... I wish I'd tossed him the sponge and said "Great!" and walked away, lol
I'd have gotten backhanded so quick it would've been like I was playing with the speed of sound! I didn't make flippant comments unless I was properly 50 ft away from her with clear exits on at least two points with ducking and dodging available. My mama was a phenomenal woman who'd allow creative licenses but we tried never to test her. And she'd have made Everyone else cook but me afterwards for a very long time.
@@mozellesanders562 You would have been backhanded for this? Oh wow. Even thought my “Let me do it my way or you do it yourself” and independent attitude, the traits I had since a small child, were never actively encouraged I was never punished because of them, nor for the comments like “If you think you can do it better than me then you better do it yourself.” Also how is the “she'd have made Everyone else cook but me afterwards for a very long time” really a punishment?
@@elalogar7340 first of all please think before you respond. Did I say I would have been a small child? Wasn't what I said in the context of what MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED? Don't go crying abuse when discipline is mentioned because I guarantee a person who is disrespectful yo an authority can expect get more than a backhand! My mom was one of the kindest people and taught her children to also be kind but she wasn't one to be taken lightly. She gave respect and expected it back. Period. Have a nice day.
@@mozellesanders562 It YOU who should think before you comment with the likes “I'd have gotten backhanded so quick it would've been like I was playing with the speed of sound! I didn't make flippant comments unless I was properly 50 ft away from her with clear exits on at least two points with ducking and dodging available.” since complete strangers on internet will react to your words not to your to-them-unknown backstory.
Why can't people stop pretending that taking care of kids is the hardest job in the world. The man is an ATC, he literally has thousands of lives in his hands everyday for extremely long hours. Taking care of babies is nothing in comparison.
If sil can’t make more than a babysitter at her current job then wtf is the point? 😂😂 the logic of some people is nonexistent.... maybe she should get a babysitting job 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is why I haven’t gone back to work yet as I have a one year old. I’m a flight attendant so the cost of me having someone come in to help for 10 hours a day for 3 days is just not worth it. Half my pay would go to childcare.
Story 1: Anyone who would acuse you to law enforcement of child abandonment because they were angry and felt petty over "an argument yesterday" will end up doing it again or worse.
Nope, there ARE consequences to irrational, hateful behavior. Mother and brother can be the patsy babysitters depending on the deranged mood swings of SIL.
Title story: Massive NTA. Bad enough the SiL backed out at the last second, but calling the police out of sheer spite? Jeopardizing OP's job and family? Hell no, OP's kinder than I would have been. The B isn't at all sorry for what she did, she's just sorry for losing her free babysitter. She can stick her non-pology between her legs, and squeeeeeeeeeeze. Aw this is causing her problems? Play the world's smallest violin! And tell mom and brother to get bent also, they weren't the ones with police falsely called on them.
Story 3. OP make a list of what you do each week in the house cleaning wise and cooking then give it to your parents and say that you want to be paid the basic minimum wage for each hour it takes you to do this work. Also if they or anyone else complains about the food that is prepared tell them you will throw it away and that person or all of them get nothing for that meal. Tell your parents that you want a more equal distribution of chores in the house. If the situation in the house does not improve then follow this advise. You are 17 save up every cent you can and prepare to leave home when you are 18 and tell them when you do they can now fend for themselves as you are done being their slave.
Not bad advice, but talk is cheap. I can almost guarantee the parents won't change a thing. So it falls to OP to take action. Get a job, go away to school, stand up and say "no".
@@DrownedInExile Yes, I didn't see any indication that the parents were doing much of anything to help their poor servant girl. (because that's how they treat her!) I mean, come up with meal plans, shop for the food and make batches on the weekend for easy re-heat meals, have family discussion on what to eat that week, get it lined up. One of the things about refusing to participate in the planning is, they can bitch out the person who did the work, without responsibility, because THEY didn't decide to have pizza. It's passive-aggressive, it's near child abuse, it's shitty parenting.
Nah. I’d go with the “just cook for yourself and let them starve tactic”. They’re older kids and the whining of the kids at the parents will get old quick.
@@nemeinshirwell9981 I'd suggest she try subterfuge and subtly. The parents don't seem to be the type to give any kind of ground. Additionally, even if she is home all the time, a parent can take away more than outside time for a grounding. The most extreme is putting the child in almost amish-like circumstances (no phone, TV, computer, gaming console, etc.) Essentially, locking them in their room without actually locking the door. Obviously, with them doing remote learning, the computer one will likely not fly, but everything else can be put in. Also, if she gets "too uppity" with the parents, they can tack on even more chores for no compensation. And, yes. I know it's abuse. However, even if she called Social Services, the word of 1 vs. 6 is not going to end well for her (parents seem like the type to manipulate the other children to their side). The parents also seem like they can take care of the household w/o OP, but choose not to, because they want a live-in maid/nanny w/o the payments. So, again, if she pushes too much, they may just kick her out (they seem like the type) when she turns 18 and not have to suffer because of it. The only one to suffer would be OP. So, I say she try to get a part-time job on the weekends (maybe 8 hours each day) and continue what she is doing (if possible), saving whatever money possible. Then, when the time comes, apply for grants and scholarships for Uni and move out (possibly to on-campus dorms, if COVID will allow it), going NC with them. It will be hard, yes. However, I believe, in the long run, she will be better for it.
Get a job. Do NOT get direct deposit. Go to bank and get them cashed. Hide that cash away. Infact, split it up in 2 or 3 locations so if they find one, they don't find the other(s). Make plans to leave. Do you gave a friend with a sympathetic parent or aunt/uncle/gr parents who could help? Is there a Job Corp center in or near your town? You can get trained and paid by the government, free housing and food. I'm sure the rules and duties would be easy to accept. Use your school time to get this plan rolling.
The Air Traffic Controller - NTA - Literally the most stressful peacetime job in the world ever - of course looking after and co-ordinating the activities of a couple of kids and cleaning up after them is going to be relaxing in comparison. Wife is an AH to think that being a SAHM could even come close to the stress levels experienced on shift as an air traffic controller. IT[s utter BS to say, consider feelings. FO they are married, he should be able to talk freely. He enjoys looking after his kids, he finds it relaxing, it's good for his health and gives SAHM time away from her work. What's to argue about!
It always amazes me when stay at home parents exaggerate how "difficult" their job is. They compare it to high stress jobs when they couldn't handle that stress for a single day. It's a privilege to stay at home.
Yea I disagree with all the nah comments his wife is absolutely an ah. Being a sahm does not excuse her insinuating op couldn't handle taking care of his kids for more than a day like he is a bad parent and getting mad when he proved be can and told her he enjoyed doing so. Instead of being so insecure she could have viewed this as a sign she could trust OP and work with him to establish a routine that would allow her more breaks.
@@raymondjohnson2744 The wife wanted him to fail so she could feel self-importance and then gloat about it how useless her husband is without her. That makes her the A hole.
@@raymondjohnson2744 Sounds about right. Plus a lot of the comments in the video were right about being an air traffic controller were right. It is a serious stressful job, you're only allowed to make two minor mistakes in a 18 month period otherwise they will face the prospect of not only losing their job but never being able to get another one in the field. If they make a major mistake they could face criminal charges. Always knowing that in the back of your mind is almost as bad as knowing that if you screw-up badly enough hundreds of people could die.
My hubby and I we’re military and when either went out with our units specific training times we had to handle ours kids and I always thought that my hubby did a wonderful job and I would tell him so my kids liked it because they ate pizza more often too lol!!
Agree. Because either you called them falsely (as in this story) or you called the police for a true/serious issue... )there are plenty of stories about abusive parents and the polio epidemic need to be called for the safety of the kids!) and you would likely not remain friendly...
1st story: Brother "has to agree" with his wife or all hell will break loose at home. I think even OP didn't expect her brother to support her or stay neutral BUT WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH OP'S MOM? Brain not working? Myth: Mothers will always do what's best for their kids, all of them!
11:00 Probably this OP's family is used to s**tting all over waitresses and counter staff because their AH parents taught them by example. Even the dad is whining all the time. OP should get a massive apology from everyone and a promise from the next sibling (15 ?) that he would start helping her prepare the food. And maybe if the parents had less kids and had a vasectomy/ tubal ligation/ both* after 3 kids they wouldn't have to both work "can see" to "can't see" * More guarantee of no foul ups
That and or he realized there was no benefit from siding with OP because he still would have to make lifestyle adjustments because of his idiocy. I bet he was hoping there was a chance he could guilt OP into resuming the baby sitting arrangement which is still shitty of him
15:00 Post on FB giving the exact details of what happened AND ASK HUBBY to post the same on his FB. Then tell him he is free to meet his mother but you are going NC UNTIL she gives an unqualified apology and acks that she told lies! This sould be on FB first and later in person. No one can get away with the AH behavior she showed esp towards your daughter.
Not all but definitely a few like OP's grandmother and MIL get a screw loose in their attic after menopause and growing old! They need to be spoken to firmly or their entitlement increases like rash. They also know that anyone opposing them runs into their son/ daughter who will out of loyalty, curse the other person rather than their mother who caused all the ***** drama!
Story 2. The wife has issues (esteem) that have probably been exacerbated by lock down. I think she was upset that the house wasn't destroyed because that would have reinforced her feeling that she is the most vital cog in this marriage machine. OP was not smug when he stated the fact that everything went smoothly, even the doctors visits, but that was not what the wife wanted to hear as it undermined her self-esteem. OP get her to therapy and try to reschedule your life/work balance to be more pro-active at home. If you don't nip this in the bud then there will be further problems in your marriage which may or may not be redeemable. NTA
Yes she's stressed, but her actions are unacceptable. Oh noes, she undervalued OP's abilities and her self-esteem was impacted when proving wrong. Play the world's smallest violin! OP isn't her emotional support puppet. Yes he needs to stamp out this nonsense now, by putting her in the dog-house. Actions have consequences. They can talk about a better work-life balance and more breaks for her, after she's pulled her head out of her arse. Not before.
@@DrownedInExile What he needs to do is make HER take care of them until she breaks and then he'll come in, save her, and gloat about how he can do better than her.
S1,your sil did a very stupid thing ,by calling the police for you dropping off your kids as per arrangement.She broke the trade off between you and her ,and she now wants to drop off her kids again ( trade off ) babysitting duties,don't your sil needs to learn actions have consequences and please mention to your family that you would have lost your job if your sil was serious about the report to the police .This would have meant a criminal record and banned from your profession .NTA
yes and its very nice that its a ladys voice too, reddit readers are very male? dominated i suppose you could say, although most of them are tts voices lol
Why are the commentors in story 2 acting like the wife is the only one with constant stress, that could break. Op is working as an ACT! He was relieved when taking care of his children BECAUSE he is under so much more stress. Op also deserves REAL time outs/vacations like the wife. One commentor even sait that ACTs have such high self harm rates. Why nobody also telling him to think about his own health? Why only the wife? The commentors are also diminishing his parenting at that time. Also also we dont know what he normally does after work with his kids, how he normally helps in the household. But he must do somethings, cause else he wouldn't have let her go(thinking about his wife and forcing her into this alonetime for herself!) and got through so great.
Very valid points. Also, that OP was doing that so his wife could have a break and relax with her family. I understand that if you've been a stay at home mom, you probably would feel weird for a bit while without the kids, but to be so angry with OP for handling things well? This wife is looking for a fight, maybe. She may have felt that OP being able to deal with the house and kids and find it relaxing as an insult, but I think she is hearing different words in her head. Like when you ask somebody to meet up, and they turn you down, just saying, "Can't, sorry," and you then say, "Oh, so I'm no longer good enough to spend time with? You have other friends you'd rather see? Okay, nevermind, forever!" Taking a lot of things that weren't said because of your own issues, maybe.
You don't understand! Being a SAHM is OBVIOUSLY the only stressful job in the world! And how can OP possibly do it without breaking, since he has a Y chromosome!?
Story 3 she cooked and the parents are nitpicking? I can understand parents complaining if it was undercooked or burned but even that would be constructive criticism. Did they expect her to mind read that dad wanted pineapple and ham or that mom didn't want pizza ? No wonder her siblings are picky they see mom and dad being picky too.
OP has a really raw deal. Live-in maid and cook who expected to by psychic and know exactly what everone wants. I would of broke a long time before her and told them "If you don't like it, go make yourself a bloody sandwich".
Time to reapportion chores. Everybody gets a night of the week to cook. Even a 10 year old can microwave and open a can. Hold your complaints,, you pick menu on your night to cook.
Many years ago I was laid off from my job so I was stuck at home when not looking for a job. The economy had a downturn and there weren't many jobs out there. My wife was able to get a job at a nice restaurant and she was working evenings. I got to be mister mom for several months since her job was very stressful so I handled everything on the home front. Turned out I told her that I really enjoyed being a stay at home dad so not to worry. Time goes by and I get another job and she leaves hers. So after she is complaining about how hard it is being a full time mom but my response is... I'll trade places... she shuts up because she knows I have been there. In her defense, she does have nervous disorders so I don't push her too much and I still gave her breaks when it was getting too much for her. The kids are all grown now and I'm retired and we are with each other 24/7 and haven't killed each other yet so I think we came through alright.
Story 2: NTA - I heard being an ATC is VERY stressful, you have 100's/1000's of lives dependent on you. So yes even if all hell broke loose while she was gone, it would have still seemed like a vacation; no one was gonna die if you didn't clean or cook or if the kids didn't get fed in a timely manner.
I had an argument with my sister when her brat smashed a crystal vase deliberately. She refused to pay and swore at me , told me l had enough money. When brats birthday came round l didn't buy him a present. Queue more screaming and swearing. My three brothers got in on the act and called me an ass hole so l hung up on them. Come Christmas l didn't buy any presents for any of them, after all, why would an asshole buy presents for people who insult him ?
Story 2: NTA, I think she's trying to martyr herself. The fact she thinks she can't trust the father of her kids to watch the kids is quite telling. She needs breaks, but it's worrying she thinks can't give herself a break. It's unintentionally manipulative, a way of saying she doesn't need him to do it.
Second story, how the hell are people saying nah? Op is obviously nta but his wife is. He offered to take care of his kids and she laughed in his face because she thinks so little of his parenting abilities that his having to watch them for just a few days is impossible. Then when everything was fine she got mad at him because even though he didn't say anything like it she took that as him insulting her.
That second story is why I hate media so much. People are literally conditioned through TV and movies to think that men are somehow incompetent when most of us are at work handling way tougher shit than managing your kids for a few days. Christ, parenting can be frustrating as hell but it doesn't take any particularly difficult set of skills.
In all fairness it took me some time to get used to taking care of my kids by myself. When she would leave, I would get anxious for the first hour or so. After awhile I was like, "I got this" It was more about getting used to their routines than anything.
I am often saddened by the stories about adults who over-critique kids' diet and weight. I grew up in an Italian-American household, where overeating was encouraged in children, and was praised. To this day, and I'm in my 70s, I have to fight the urge to overeat to make myself feel better. At least I know why, and how I was trained to seek approval through gorging. Incidentally, I'm now 6'2" and 160 pounds, so I win more often than not.
Story 1: NTA. Skip the calling the police, just take the "My SIL had an argument the night before and on the way to drop the kids off, she called me and told me she wasn't watching the kids" and you still would not be the a-hole for refusing to watch her kids. You can't be expected to change your work schedule or find another babysitter every time you and your SIL have an argument, and if you are, you need a different babysitting arrangement.
Story 2: People like this have vey low self-esteem. She had no faith in her husband, and expected him to fail, then when everything went fine she blew up? She should just be thankful that she can rely on him when she needs a break. She needs to grow up. She might have been overly stressed and burnt out, but getting angry about not failing is horrible. She needs to take a breather and come back.
This is the second time I've seen a story where the SAHM comes back and finds out to her dismay partner is actually a competent parent. The other one I saw the wife actually left with a dismissive/snide remark like she was expecting her husband to fail spectacularly. The husband in that one not only does a challenge accepted regarding the kids, goes above and beyond and fixes up a few things around the house. Wife has a breakdown when she comes back and sees her home looking better than ever. Seriously though the incompetent at home dad figure you see in sitcom's is too prevalent if people are going to default to that as an expectation for their partner.
When my kids became teenagers and I was still cooking breakfast for them before school they started complaining about breakfast ( didn’t want that this morning,why didn’t I cook this instead , they were not hungry,etc. ) so I got fed up and told them if they didn’t eat what I cooked they could cook for themselves! They thought it was not so hard to do so started to do so( I taught them when they didn’t know how to do something) and they finally figured out what I meant when I quit cooking .Now they are all married and teach their kids to cook for themselves as they get old enough to!!
First story: NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA! That nut job wants you to babysit after CALLING THE COPS ON YOU?? Cut contact and run for the hills, because she’ll do worse if she gets away with it.
People acting like raising their own kids is some hardship that a father couldn’t cope with...SMH. Most men have no problems looking after their own children, and it just seems like the woman’s ego was bruised because she has been telling herself some nonsense like she is the one shouldering the hardest work rather than seeing herself as part of her family’s team working towards the same goals like the husband has been. It’s a problem of mindset on her end.
My ex brother in law is a wonderful dad and is always taking care of both my niece and nephew while my older sister just did whatever she thought she wanted. He is leaving her soon and their doing a 50/50 split of custody and he works full time most nights. He is a awesome dad who loves his kids and he works hard for them.
S3, it's your parents job to feed and take care of their children ,not you ,your a child who is being taken advantage of .You need to tell CPS ,a teacher ,school councillor about what your parents are making you do .This can be classed as abuse ,verbal and mental abuse ,your family members need to take a long hard look at themselves in side and out .Please let someone know what is happening to you NOW .NTA
NTA! Tell mom and brother to pound sand. This broad called the cops on OP over an argument. This is incredibly spiteful. SAHM is such a tough job no woman wants to do it. NTA. So they made OP the parent. Instead of being grateful for what she does they berate. And why the he'll can't a 15 YO make dinner? NTA.
To MIL who is making disparaging remarks about a child. "Is this walk too brisk for you? I know it's getting harder at your age." "You really need to find a new moisturizer for your face. What you're doing just isn't working on your wrinkles."
ATCs are high suicidal rates, so watching two kids for a week is relaxing. Do nurses in hospitals have the same stress level as a teenager working at McDonald's?
Yep. She needed “closed loop communication”. SIL never confirmed anything with OP. Not to mention texting the same am while the OP was driving over is an AH move!
Even if op read it before leaving the house, now what? That is such short notice for a non emergency. Has SIL said something the night before when they had their argument, op would have at least had time to find alternate child care for the day. That's reason enough to void the arrangement for someone more reliable.
First story, so sad that your mother & brother have broken moral compasses. Sil risked the safety & well-being of your kids with the possibility of being taken away into the cps/foster environment as well as destroying your career. Who in their right mind would enable that bs?
everyone needs to stop defending the stay at home mom, she laughed in her husbands face when he suggested he watch the kids, then got angry when he didnt fail....thats not a good person she doesnt need to be defended or explained. she even thought while he watched and played with the kids after working one of the most stressful jobs in the world that he was just "playing" at being daddy. she doesnt see him as a partner and wanted him to fail for her own validation. and dont forget had he failed the children would have been the ones to suffer for it...she wanted her family that she is supposed to love to have a shit time so she could feel better about herself. idc how long shes been a stay at home mom thats a disgusting reactions and shes a shit person. she deserves no pats on the back what she needs is therapy.
story 4: Nta. MIL is lucky OP is a "snowflake" and didn't break her dentures for insulting her child. Her husband needs to also grow a damn spine and protect his kids.
For the first story, if OP’s mom is so worried about childcare for the kids, let HER keep the kids or or pay for daycare. SIL made her bed when she called the police on OP. OP needs to go NC with the SIL as she sounds unstable and vindictive and doesn’t need that much contact with OP or her children. The next time a child gets a bruise (and we know some kids are just genuinely active and get bruises and scrapes), OP may be reported to CPS.
So many people don't get that forgiveness and trust are not the same. Op can forgive her SIL for calling the police on her, but she can never trust her with her kids again. With the agreement broken, she has no reason to continue watching SIL's kids. Even if she continued watching SIL's kids, would there be a false police call later on for some presumed infraction towards the kids? Not worth it.
YES! This!! Forgiveness and trust are NOT the same thing. Thank you for sum in this up. The OP cannot afford to risk her SIL doing something similar in the future next time she get into a snit about something dumb. She showed the kind of person she is (petty and vindictive with no thought to the impact of her actions) and has not showed that she has changed (with her non-apology).
So let's get this straight. OP gets a chance to have time with and bond with his kids, give her a chance to take time for herself and feel good about it AND prove that a father can take care of children and she's mad? Really? You are definitely NTA!
Story 2: compared with air traffic control I think taking care of kids and a house is very relaxed. Is like a surgeon that has the live of a person in his hands for 10 hours, those people will find most jobs relaxing.
That police interaction is on your file for LIFE! Even if no charges or further act were deemed needed. If your job or a new one do a background check they will see it. OT can still fully ruin you! Let your brother & SIL sink!!!
Never piss off a cook/chef. They can do A LOT! I once listened to a call in on the radio where members of the kitchen staff, highest to lowest, and waiting staff talked about how they dealt with difficult customers. SCARY! The only person you can bitch about is the dish pig and hope she/he doesn't remember you when they work their way up. Complaints instead of thanks? They obviously don't value OP's work and if they're unhappy, easily sorted. STOP DOING IT!
1st story OP is NTA. The SIL came to the realization that she had messed up and now wants their baby sitting agreement back that was more beneficial for her than OP. The parents don't want to have to help them with rent or house them if SIL loses her job. 2nd story OP is NTA. His wife probably feels her status as a stay at home mom is at risk not considering that he took off work to take care of their children. Her "job" is not as demanding and time consuming as when they were babies and toddlers and he probably would have had a more difficult experience had that been the case. As the children get older things should get easier for her with the exception of her chauffering them to various activities and events. 3rd story the parents are TA. They forced the oldest into an adult role to take care of them, the house and their children and then punished her like a child because she rebelled against their childish reactions to the dinner she prepared. Don't put your child in an adult's job and then ground them when they have a reasonable reaction to the complaints made about the job they did.
2nd story: Wife is the AH. The man is an ATC if it isn't a major city he's going to be dealing with 20-30 planes at a time all moving in circles sometimes only a couple hundred feet apart at over a hundred miles an hours. WHO would think caring for 2 children under the age of 5, one of whom probably is BARELY MOBILE, would be difficult compared to that? He wasn't disrespecting how hard her job is, but she obviously has no concept of how difficult HIS JOB is. She was expecting him to call her in a panic like the idiot "TV dads" and she's pissed because his job makes her job look easy. It's only by comparison, tho, and he didn't even suggest that, he just said it was relaxing, which it almost definitely was. For comparison, his wife was juggling 4 eggs, he juggles 8 running chainsaws every day. Juggling 4 eggs is hard, but not as hard as juggling 8 running chainsaws. Juggling the eggs would be considered relaxing. She should be happy that when she started complaining he didn't hand her the chainsaws.
Story 1: NTA , well if it isn't the repercussions of her own actions , and I love how she tries to downplay what she did and didn't apologize🤦🏿♂️... Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
I would never in my life do another thing for it or trust that it wouldn't do something like this in the future, and it jeopardized the safety of op's kids by calling police of all things to the children which could have resulted in them being taken to abusive cps and cost op her career and financial stability! Hopefully they do have to move in with its parents hours away as the further the better!
What dad's never take into consideration is that kids listen to dad's more then they do to moms. This is fun for dad for a couple days. Do it everyday.
Story 1 NTA the sil is a horrible person who did not need to call the police. OP is right not to go back to the old child care arrangement she couldn't trust the sil not to pull another stunt like that if she got angry with OP again. Story 2 OP is NTA being an ATC is far more stressful than staying at home caring for the children. His wife wanted OP to fail so that she could gloat she us the AH. I was a stay at home with four children until my youngest child was 3. It was hard work but not nearly as stressful as some mothers make it out to be.
Story 1...wait, what? She called the cops? She was mad over an argument and went beyond nuclear, SIL had the Death Star in orbit and ready to fire...played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
Once someone calls the police on you over petty stuff, that relationship is over. The only reason you should call the cops on family members or anyone is for serious issues. She delayed the police from dealing with real crimes. The SIL should not have displaced her anger on her nieces and nephews. Karen the SIL burnt that bridge.
Did your kids know? Family has fights but we never endanger a child! Lucky cps didn't step in! That trash called the cops what if they got there first and traumatized the kids. The parents deserve to live with the kid they care about so much
Story 1: NTA she dragged kids into an argument between you two and didn't think that'd cause you to retaliate by refusing to help look after her kids in the future yeah nice one genius. Story 2: so, she assumed you couldn't care for your kids, which calling to check in constantly which defeated the whole point of her going on the trip in the first place as it was to help her cure her cabin fever and give her a break, then to come back and get mad because your partner didn't have a hard time. NTA and she needs to realize you're perfectly able to look after your kids. Story 3: let's see they've basically parentification you, bitched up and down over your cooking choices then, expected you not to stop doing it when you had enough NTA and move out as soon as possible. Story 4: shouldn't be fat shaming kids especially when the child wasn't even fat in the first place, they're kids let them be who they are. then to lie to the whole family about what was said to play victim time to cut contact i think because if they won't even hear your side what else will they believe if MIL decides to keep lying about you.
Story 1. NTA. What happens next time they have an argument, OP babysits the kids and SIL decides her kids might be at risk due to the fight and calls the cops again? That is the risk OP would run if she caves into the pressure.
Air traffic controller NTA women always get made when you do there job better then them especially child carrying they think that they had some monopoly over child rearing and like to pretend it’s the hardest job in the world while eating cereal in there pj’s all day drinking wine Being an air traffic controller you work circles around her daily it’s one of the most stressful jobs in the WORLD so of course taking care of your children would of been a walk in the park in comparison. In all seriousness she probably had the dilution she had the harder “job” and was hoping you would fail so she could come back and say SEE!!?!?? This is why I need vacations?!?!! You no not your husband who has one of the most stressful jobs in the world na he needs to stay home and watch the kids while mom takes a vacation from her vacation hahah
Ok first story Nta. If I had an arrangement before hand I would ignore any fight I had with the person. Also not checking Ops phone while driving? She is smart! She could have gotten into a wreck or worse if she texted and drove. That sil is such an ah and I hope she keeps suffering for her actions.
When she said her siblings were complaining they were all single single-digit age not two of them being old enough to be in high school Jesus Christ they can cook for themselves I would argue even 12 even 12 and 10 are old enough to make food by yourself as long as you're not wasteful and extra And her dad specifically requesting Hawaiian style pizza means that most if not all of his opinions especially Pizza related opinions no longer matter
If the sil called the cops for abandoning her kids, why would she want her to babysit? If she wanted to use her as a babysitter, doesn't she think the kids will be abandoned again?
Story 1:
AITA for not babysitting for my sister in law any more after she called the police on me?
Story 2: 5:27
AITA for saying that taking care of my kids by myself was 'relaxing', my wife thinks I am devaluing her contribution to our family and implying she's got it easy
Story 3: 10:17
AITA for not cooking after everyone insulted what I was making?
Story 4: 14:10
AITA for being upset after my MIL criticized my parenting and called my daughter disgusting?
"You did this to yourself. "
"Babysit for me again! I didn't think *I'd* have to suffer any consequences!*
It's shocking how common it is for people to believe their own actions will never harm them.
SIL: "You did this to yourself!"
Mom and brother: "She apologized!"
🤨🤔
Story 1: "there were no consequences" she had to leave work, lost time, and could have lost her work and her kids, there were consequences and could have been worst. Also, she used the kids as a weapon against her because they argued, she is not fit to even raise children.
And you know this wouldn't be the last time SIL pulled something like this. Next time the consequences for op could be worse. Best to just be done with the arrangement. Sometimes you have to be an ass to save yours.
And endangered employment.
The op did the right thing with not babysitting the sils kids after this big stunt the op could've lost their job and would find it very hard to find work after having abandonment charges against her. The ops bro might want to reconsider his marriage after this massive stunt
Who in the frick in their right mind calls the police just because someone needs an hour to pick up their kids? Oh, right, no one. The SIL is not well. NTA. I’d never talk to this witch again.
She could have told her anytime before the kids got dropped off since she already knew the arrangement they had. The OP's parents are enablers. I wouldn't care if it didn't cause problems this time, it could have caused problem. What if CPS got involved over this nonsense? What if the OP got held up and couldn't make it there before the police did?
Could of lost your ability to work with kids!!!, NOPE!
Those Reddit people.
Unless the neighbour drops his or her kid outside your house
OPS parents sound like they'd like to baby sit. Let them do it.
She is literally apologizing because she needs a free babysitter. Literally the only thing I was saying through the title story was "Oh well".
And it's still not a true apology. She's still doubling down saying it's op's fault. "I'm sorry for what happened, but you did it to yourself." Not at all remorseful or able to see that she was wrong, so no guarantee it won't happen again.
If they can't pay for 3 days of baby-sitting or it breaks their whole household apart, someone needs a new career.
I assume both the brother and SIL work minimum wage, child care is pretty expensive. It's why people come up with private arrangements like the one OP and SIL had.
Rule of thumb if you need someone more that they need you then be nice and definitely only call the cops when there is a crime
@Melody Ackerman True, but how is that OP's problem? If her SIL hadn't burned that bridge with OP, she wouldn't be having to look for an alternative babysitter. I mean, if she was so dependent on OP, why drop the nuke on OP by calling the police on her? The SIL seem to be selfish jerk who demands that the world bend to her will, except she forgot the part where is isn't an all-powerful goddess.
@Melody Ackerman Sorry, I was making a point, it sounded like you were defending the SIL. Clearly I was wrong. And you're completely right, the pandemic could be the reason why OP's brother and SIL are tight on money, it only makes what the SIL did even more stupid if that's the case.
Storry 1
When you use the the agreement she calls the police ? I understand their was a dispute but that doesnt annul the agreement you have.
She calls the poluce for no reason, just being a bee over a disagreement, and by doing jeipardizing your job !
Oh yeh, I just say sorry and "erase", humm.
No way, she is unreliable, untrustworthy and pull jerk moves on OP.
Play stupid games, win stupid prices.
She is having the consequences of her OWN actions. Not your problem a'ymore, cuddies to you 👍
First story: so why don't OP's mother and brother take the kids to babysit them? If they're so casual to call her an idiot over what SIL did... They can't make you do anything you are not comfortable to do... If anything happens while the kids are under your care, she'll 100% blame you as getting back at her for the police thing...
the brother is the father and can't. good point about the mom though
"I am not running a fucking restaurant, either you eat what I cook or you can starve" my mother. I grew up in the 80's.
Oh, yeah. I grew up in the 50s and early 60s. We ate what mom could afford, she did her absolute best, and we said "thank you!"
Yep. 80s kid here. My dad and mom did that too.
NTA. My mom was primary cooker in family, sometimes my dad and then me when she was in grade school @ 15 in the 1980's. No one complained about the food otherwise they could make a sandwich or go to their room. Next 2 oldest kids are old enough and big enough to read a recipe and cook for the family. 2 teenagers too lazy to cook or even make sandwiches for them and their siblings, screw them, let them go hungry, idiots.
Didn't grow up in the 80s but my family was the same only exception would be a PB&j for dinner 😆
90's Kid, My Granny would say don't like it the food will be on the table getting cold, I'm not cooking again
Story 2: Wife is TA because she laughed at him when he suggested taking care of his own kids and consistently doubted him.
That's so much bs to throw at someone trying to give you a break and help you.
And called multiple times a day! She wasn't allowing herself to relax, which was the whole point of the trip!
She probably saw herself as Mother of the Year and then realized (after observing OP) that she was just clocking in as average, and it was a blow to her ego.
Yeah I don't get the nah comment. The fact that he only had them for short term doesn't excuse her treatment of him.
Really sexist aswell
S2: the man is an air traffic controller. ANYTHING is relaxing compared to that.
That was exactly what I thought. 🤣
You know how they say it takes a village to raise a child i would say it takes superman with a dun to do air traffic controller I'd be dying and terrified on inside
Why is air traffic so special?
@@something3920 you've got potentially thousands of live riding on the instruction you give to pilots. One wrong order and 2 planes could collide.
@@something3920 np
Story1: NTA. "Sorry it was your fault that you didn't check your phone and dance to my tune." Certainly no apology. No problem with childcare as the mother and brother can babysit. Story 2: Lady, take a lot more trips. Story 3: OP is doing very well for her age. I cook and you eat or don't. No comments or feed yourself. Story 4: I have one of these. Stand your ground. I hope your husband has a spine, unlike mine.
Story2: I agree the wife's stressed and needs more time off. But that doesn't excuse her disrespectful attitude. OP needs to put her in the dog-house. After she's pulled her head out of her butt, then they can talk about time off. No rewards for bad behaviour.
I had an aunt who fat shamed me for years. Fortunately, I only saw her a few times a year. After awhile, I realized she just may have been jealous of my curves because she was flat chested and had a minimal rear end. Kudos to OP for standing up to her toxic MIL and protecting her kid's self esteem.
Imagine your YT name starting with jd, kinda lame imo
Story2: Massive NTA. The wife's condescending attitude about OP's parenting skills was bad enough. But then blowing up at OP because he didn't fail like he expected, and making it all about her? Oh I don't think so! I get that she's stressed, but her attitude is unacceptable. Also, I smell a sh*t-test. What's she really upset about? Losing power? If OP can handle kids without her, what does he need her for? OP needs to put her in the dog-house, actions and words have consequences. After she's pulled her head out of her butt, then they can talk about giving her more breaks. Not before. No rewards for crappy behaviour.
Your wife needs more than that trip. You saw that she needed to be away from everybody. The kids are yours too she should have been happy you didn’t have a complaints. Life moves forward and if your wife is having problems and will not say she’s having a problem. Don’t feel bad maybe be she embarrassed to say she’s having problems. If there has been no problems you should look at what she is going through. If she hasn’t had any problems maybe you may need take a closer look at maybe getting her some help. What type of help? that’s for you and her to detriment.
@@wardkeith8385 She's literally a SAHM while her husband is an air traffic controller at 40. I don't mean to put it out there too hard, but her husband is likely at the end of his career if he works in a city (they tend to burn out before his age).
@@peteranon8455 Frankly I think the wife is the one who resisted going on vacations, convinced she's indispensable, and now is upset at being proven wrong.
@@peteranon8455 He didn't sound like he was burning out. Some people thrive in that kind of environment. Also, she obviously has no clue what his job entails if she thinks caring for 2 children over 30-50 airplanes moving hundreds of miles an hour only a few hundred yards apart is stressful. He said it was relaxing, because it was.
At DFW in Texas, there is at least 1 plane taking off and 1 landing every 10 minutes, and DFW isn't even the biggest in the country, if he's at a major airport, staying with his kids was a vacation.
As a fellow SAHM, I can understand the feelings of burnout, wanting to get away, and also the fear of being easy to replace but these are not excuses for her behavior. If my husband did this for me and our son, I’d be super grateful and insanely attracted to him!
Wife obviously needs to go to therapy as she has some unaddressed mental health issues going on. She could even have undiagnosed Postpartum Depression happening, considering that their children are still relatively young. But even then I have PPD and I haven’t lashed out at my husband like this.
Story 2: OP's wife has insecurity issues. What she wanted was to bring OP out of his home field into hers and validate herself by seeing him fail in her field of expertise. When OP did not, in fact, fail, her world view began crumbling because she set it up on the basis of, "my job is so hard, if I weren't the one doing it, it *couldn't* be done." and OP taking care of the kids proved that idea wrong.
She should be PLEASED to hear that her husband is a competent father but she wanted a competition
Yup she's really upset at losing power. If OP can handle things without her, what does he need her for? I hope OP puts her in the dog-house. I don't care what stress she's under, her actions are unacceptable.
This is no excuse to flake out. Note the last comment is STILL trying to validate her actions by claiming he couldn't handle it over the long term. 🙄
@@DrownedInExile Exactly. Her disrespectful behavior needs to have consequences.
It’s one thing to watch the kids for one short weekend, and an entirely different thing to do it full time with very little time off for personal time away from the kids. Also without adults to talk to beyond six hours at night in between cooking dinner, cleaning up after it, baths, etc. It’s extremely isolating and you can feel like you’re so alone with small children who can’t speak on your level because they aren’t old enough and are completely dependent on you. Until you live like that 24/7 for years you can’t understand the toll it takes on your mental health and on your autonomy as a person. You can begin to feel like a slave with no other purpose but to serve 24/7 while having no life of your own or any other purpose. Some days you wonder why you even get out of bed because it’s the same monotonous routine every single day for years on end. You feel dead inside. You love your family but there’s nothing for just “you”. There’s never a break until everyone is old enough to care more for themselves. You can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself without little ones talking and trying to get at you outside the door. You do it for love, because someone has to, because the littles can’t survive without you doing everything for them. But it takes a lot out of you if you have nothing else to do but mind them for years on end. I’m from an isolated farming community in the middle of nowhere. Other types of jobs are scarce and go to the men more often than not. Jobs for women usually involve minding kids. There is very little entertainment here, not even a movie theater. There are nothing but fields for miles around as far as you can drive it’s nothing but fields. Houses can be miles apart and the main meeting place for women is church on Sundays. I married young, like most women do here. I speak from experience and unless you’ve lived it-you can’t guess and you’ll never understand what it’s like. So when this girl feels like her husband doesn’t understand from one weekend-she couldn’t be more correct. He doesn’t, period. He gets to leave and talk to other adults, socialize at work, have a life outside the house and time away from child rearing duties. He’s likely never been up in the wee hours of the night scrubbing vomit off the carpet because a small child couldn’t make it to the bathroom and forgot there was a trash can in their room. Or changing bed linens because someone had an accident in their bed. They haven’t spent countless days/hours helping with homework or school projects. Or up all night with feverish children who are sick. Or going to numerous doctors appointments with however many children you had. It would be easy for anyone for three days. Give your life to it and then come talk to me. Because that’s the only way you’ll ever “know” in order to speak about it.
Guys, if someone does something shitty to you, and you don’t want to associate with them again, that is completely fine. If the fallout of not associating with them costs them money, that is not your problem. You don’t owe people your time or dignity.
Exactly this. Well said!
Wish I could blast this over a loudspeaker for so many people!
Mom upset that Dad didn't fail watching the kids: You'd think she'd be relieved! It shows that she can take some more time for herself without worrying about the house falling down.
First story....ah, I love karma. Sis in law is reaping the consequences of her actions. I love it. She can gas light all she wants. Calling the police automatically meant the babysitting arrangements had ended. Can’t understand how she thinks the arrangements will continue, and at any rate, she sends the text saying she won’t babysit literally as OP is about to drop them off for work. Trying to find a new babysitter on the spot is hard, so that’s also crappy of sil.
The sad part is the kids. I bet the cousins had a blast being baby sat together 6 days a week! Too bad SIL is an entitled baby and wrecked it all.
This SIL is hands 🙌 down the most dumb SIL of all times
She thinks she can call the police on someone and they'll still be doing child care with them? What a dumba**
The cooking story: The first time my mother started to comment my cooking when I was behind the stove with food in pots, trying to lecture me how it’s done ‘properly’ I tossed the spatula I had in my hand on the counter and calmly told her since she believed she can do it better than me, she better do it herself and left the kitchen. She never did it again. (She was a very good cook though, but I just like to do it my way.) So the first time somebody nitpicked my cooking like the OP’s family would be the last time they ate my food. If they started to argue with me, they would have been told that since they don’t enjoy my cooking, I have no intention to waste my time on cooking for them. NTA
I wish I had done something like that when my now-fiancé used to tell me there was a better way to wash the dishes ... I wish I'd tossed him the sponge and said "Great!" and walked away, lol
I'd have gotten backhanded so quick it would've been like I was playing with the speed of sound! I didn't make flippant comments unless I was properly 50 ft away from her with clear exits on at least two points with ducking and dodging available. My mama was a phenomenal woman who'd allow creative licenses but we tried never to test her. And she'd have made Everyone else cook but me afterwards for a very long time.
@@mozellesanders562 You would have been backhanded for this? Oh wow.
Even thought my “Let me do it my way or you do it yourself” and independent attitude, the traits I had since a small child, were never actively encouraged I was never punished because of them, nor for the comments like “If you think you can do it better than me then you better do it yourself.”
Also how is the “she'd have made Everyone else cook but me afterwards for a very long time” really a punishment?
@@elalogar7340 first of all please think before you respond. Did I say I would have been a small child? Wasn't what I said in the context of what MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED? Don't go crying abuse when discipline is mentioned because I guarantee a person who is disrespectful yo an authority can expect get more than a backhand!
My mom was one of the kindest people and taught her children to also be kind but she wasn't one to be taken lightly. She gave respect and expected it back. Period.
Have a nice day.
@@mozellesanders562 It YOU who should think before you comment with the likes “I'd have gotten backhanded so quick it would've been like I was playing with the speed of sound! I didn't make flippant comments unless I was properly 50 ft away from her with clear exits on at least two points with ducking and dodging available.” since complete strangers on internet will react to your words not to your to-them-unknown backstory.
Why can't people stop pretending that taking care of kids is the hardest job in the world. The man is an ATC, he literally has thousands of lives in his hands everyday for extremely long hours. Taking care of babies is nothing in comparison.
If sil can’t make more than a babysitter at her current job then wtf is the point? 😂😂 the logic of some people is nonexistent.... maybe she should get a babysitting job 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This is why I haven’t gone back to work yet as I have a one year old. I’m a flight attendant so the cost of me having someone come in to help for 10 hours a day for 3 days is just not worth it. Half my pay would go to childcare.
Story 1: Anyone who would acuse you to law enforcement of child abandonment because they were angry and felt petty over "an argument yesterday" will end up doing it again or worse.
Nope, there ARE consequences to irrational, hateful behavior.
Mother and brother can be the patsy babysitters depending on the deranged mood swings of SIL.
Title story: Massive NTA. Bad enough the SiL backed out at the last second, but calling the police out of sheer spite? Jeopardizing OP's job and family? Hell no, OP's kinder than I would have been. The B isn't at all sorry for what she did, she's just sorry for losing her free babysitter. She can stick her non-pology between her legs, and squeeeeeeeeeeze. Aw this is causing her problems? Play the world's smallest violin! And tell mom and brother to get bent also, they weren't the ones with police falsely called on them.
i would have given her a reason to call 911 after that
Story 1 is a good example of the old adage, “Don’t sh*t where you eat.”
Story 3. OP make a list of what you do each week in the house cleaning wise and cooking then give it to your parents and say that you want to be paid the basic minimum wage for each hour it takes you to do this work. Also if they or anyone else complains about the food that is prepared tell them you will throw it away and that person or all of them get nothing for that meal. Tell your parents that you want a more equal distribution of chores in the house. If the situation in the house does not improve then follow this advise. You are 17 save up every cent you can and prepare to leave home when you are 18 and tell them when you do they can now fend for themselves as you are done being their slave.
Not bad advice, but talk is cheap. I can almost guarantee the parents won't change a thing. So it falls to OP to take action. Get a job, go away to school, stand up and say "no".
@@DrownedInExile Yes, I didn't see any indication that the parents were doing much of anything to help their poor servant girl. (because that's how they treat her!) I mean, come up with meal plans, shop for the food and make batches on the weekend for easy re-heat meals, have family discussion on what to eat that week, get it lined up.
One of the things about refusing to participate in the planning is, they can bitch out the person who did the work, without responsibility, because THEY didn't decide to have pizza. It's passive-aggressive, it's near child abuse, it's shitty parenting.
Nah. I’d go with the “just cook for yourself and let them starve tactic”. They’re older kids and the whining of the kids at the parents will get old quick.
@@nemeinshirwell9981 I'd suggest she try subterfuge and subtly.
The parents don't seem to be the type to give any kind of ground. Additionally, even if she is home all the time, a parent can take away more than outside time for a grounding. The most extreme is putting the child in almost amish-like circumstances (no phone, TV, computer, gaming console, etc.) Essentially, locking them in their room without actually locking the door. Obviously, with them doing remote learning, the computer one will likely not fly, but everything else can be put in. Also, if she gets "too uppity" with the parents, they can tack on even more chores for no compensation. And, yes. I know it's abuse. However, even if she called Social Services, the word of 1 vs. 6 is not going to end well for her (parents seem like the type to manipulate the other children to their side).
The parents also seem like they can take care of the household w/o OP, but choose not to, because they want a live-in maid/nanny w/o the payments. So, again, if she pushes too much, they may just kick her out (they seem like the type) when she turns 18 and not have to suffer because of it. The only one to suffer would be OP.
So, I say she try to get a part-time job on the weekends (maybe 8 hours each day) and continue what she is doing (if possible), saving whatever money possible. Then, when the time comes, apply for grants and scholarships for Uni and move out (possibly to on-campus dorms, if COVID will allow it), going NC with them. It will be hard, yes. However, I believe, in the long run, she will be better for it.
Get a job. Do NOT get direct deposit. Go to bank and get them cashed. Hide that cash away. Infact, split it up in 2 or 3 locations so if they find one, they don't find the other(s). Make plans to leave. Do you gave a friend with a sympathetic parent or aunt/uncle/gr parents who could help?
Is there a Job Corp center in or near your town? You can get trained and paid by the government, free housing and food. I'm sure the rules and duties would be easy to accept. Use your school time to get this plan rolling.
The Air Traffic Controller - NTA - Literally the most stressful peacetime job in the world ever - of course looking after and co-ordinating the activities of a couple of kids and cleaning up after them is going to be relaxing in comparison. Wife is an AH to think that being a SAHM could even come close to the stress levels experienced on shift as an air traffic controller. IT[s utter BS to say, consider feelings. FO they are married, he should be able to talk freely. He enjoys looking after his kids, he finds it relaxing, it's good for his health and gives SAHM time away from her work. What's to argue about!
It always amazes me when stay at home parents exaggerate how "difficult" their job is. They compare it to high stress jobs when they couldn't handle that stress for a single day. It's a privilege to stay at home.
Yea I disagree with all the nah comments his wife is absolutely an ah. Being a sahm does not excuse her insinuating op couldn't handle taking care of his kids for more than a day like he is a bad parent and getting mad when he proved be can and told her he enjoyed doing so. Instead of being so insecure she could have viewed this as a sign she could trust OP and work with him to establish a routine that would allow her more breaks.
@@raymondjohnson2744 The wife wanted him to fail so she could feel self-importance and then gloat about it how useless her husband is without her. That makes her the A hole.
@@raymondjohnson2744 Sounds about right. Plus a lot of the comments in the video were right about being an air traffic controller were right. It is a serious stressful job, you're only allowed to make two minor mistakes in a 18 month period otherwise they will face the prospect of not only losing their job but never being able to get another one in the field. If they make a major mistake they could face criminal charges. Always knowing that in the back of your mind is almost as bad as knowing that if you screw-up badly enough hundreds of people could die.
My hubby and I we’re military and when either went out with our units specific training times we had to handle ours kids and I always thought that my hubby did a wonderful job and I would tell him so my kids liked it because they ate pizza more often too lol!!
As far as I’m concerned the moment you call the police/cps on someone you lose all right to be in contact with that person in a friendly manner.
Agree. Because either you called them falsely (as in this story) or you called the police for a true/serious issue... )there are plenty of stories about abusive parents and the polio epidemic need to be called for the safety of the kids!) and you would likely not remain friendly...
1st story: Brother "has to agree" with his wife or all hell will break loose at home. I think even OP didn't expect her brother to support her or stay neutral
BUT WHAT THE F**K IS WRONG WITH OP'S MOM? Brain not working?
Myth: Mothers will always do what's best for their kids, all of them!
11:00 Probably this OP's family is used to s**tting all over waitresses and counter staff because their AH parents taught them by example. Even the dad is whining all the time.
OP should get a massive apology from everyone and a promise from the next sibling (15 ?) that he would start helping her prepare the food.
And maybe if the parents had less kids and had a vasectomy/ tubal ligation/ both* after 3 kids they wouldn't have to both work "can see" to "can't see"
* More guarantee of no foul ups
11:00 This OP should leave ASAP at/ after 18 and go NC. Let them learn how much they depended on her to do the chores!
That and or he realized there was no benefit from siding with OP because he still would have to make lifestyle adjustments because of his idiocy. I bet he was hoping there was a chance he could guilt OP into resuming the baby sitting arrangement which is still shitty of him
15:00 Post on FB giving the exact details of what happened AND ASK HUBBY to post the same on his FB. Then tell him he is free to meet his mother but you are going NC UNTIL she gives an unqualified apology and acks that she told lies! This sould be on FB first and later in person.
No one can get away with the AH behavior she showed esp towards your daughter.
Not all but definitely a few like OP's grandmother and MIL get a screw loose in their attic after menopause and growing old! They need to be spoken to firmly or their entitlement increases like rash. They also know that anyone opposing them runs into their son/ daughter who will out of loyalty, curse the other person rather than their mother who caused all the ***** drama!
Story 2. The wife has issues (esteem) that have probably been exacerbated by lock down. I think she was upset that the house wasn't destroyed because that would have reinforced her feeling that she is the most vital cog in this marriage machine. OP was not smug when he stated the fact that everything went smoothly, even the doctors visits, but that was not what the wife wanted to hear as it undermined her self-esteem. OP get her to therapy and try to reschedule your life/work balance to be more pro-active at home. If you don't nip this in the bud then there will be further problems in your marriage which may or may not be redeemable. NTA
Yes she's stressed, but her actions are unacceptable. Oh noes, she undervalued OP's abilities and her self-esteem was impacted when proving wrong. Play the world's smallest violin! OP isn't her emotional support puppet. Yes he needs to stamp out this nonsense now, by putting her in the dog-house. Actions have consequences. They can talk about a better work-life balance and more breaks for her, after she's pulled her head out of her arse. Not before.
@@DrownedInExile Insecurities tackled with brute force and zero empathy? How could that possibly go wrong...
@@DrownedInExile What he needs to do is make HER take care of them until she breaks and then he'll come in, save her, and gloat about how he can do better than her.
@@godofchaos6154 Allowing her to get away with bad behaviour? How could that possibly go wrong?
@@CocoCece08 No.
Story 1: NTA. SIL escalated so that it could destroy OP's job but did it to herself instead. OP obviously used a deflector shield. Sweet, sweet karma.
Don't know what sil would have done if op had lost her job. It's not like it would benefit sil.
@@drpinky504 Right? She wasn't big on the brains dept.
S1,your sil did a very stupid thing ,by calling the police for you dropping off your kids as per arrangement.She broke the trade off between you and her ,and she now wants to drop off her kids again ( trade off ) babysitting duties,don't your sil needs to learn actions have consequences and please mention to your family that you would have lost your job if your sil was serious about the report to the police .This would have meant a criminal record and banned from your profession .NTA
I love the passion in your voice when you read these stories. Love it. Stories seem so much real.
I agreeeee. Love this channel 🥰
yes and its very nice that its a ladys voice too, reddit readers are very male? dominated i suppose you could say, although most of them are tts voices lol
@@zephramartin6632 her voice has soul. ❤️
Why are the commentors in story 2 acting like the wife is the only one with constant stress, that could break. Op is working as an ACT! He was relieved when taking care of his children BECAUSE he is under so much more stress. Op also deserves REAL time outs/vacations like the wife. One commentor even sait that ACTs have such high self harm rates. Why nobody also telling him to think about his own health? Why only the wife?
The commentors are also diminishing his parenting at that time.
Also also we dont know what he normally does after work with his kids, how he normally helps in the household. But he must do somethings, cause else he wouldn't have let her go(thinking about his wife and forcing her into this alonetime for herself!) and got through so great.
Very valid points. Also, that OP was doing that so his wife could have a break and relax with her family. I understand that if you've been a stay at home mom, you probably would feel weird for a bit while without the kids, but to be so angry with OP for handling things well? This wife is looking for a fight, maybe. She may have felt that OP being able to deal with the house and kids and find it relaxing as an insult, but I think she is hearing different words in her head. Like when you ask somebody to meet up, and they turn you down, just saying, "Can't, sorry," and you then say, "Oh, so I'm no longer good enough to spend time with? You have other friends you'd rather see? Okay, nevermind, forever!" Taking a lot of things that weren't said because of your own issues, maybe.
You don't understand! Being a SAHM is OBVIOUSLY the only stressful job in the world! And how can OP possibly do it without breaking, since he has a Y chromosome!?
Story 3 she cooked and the parents are nitpicking? I can understand parents complaining if it was undercooked or burned but even that would be constructive criticism. Did they expect her to mind read that dad wanted pineapple and ham or that mom didn't want pizza ? No wonder her siblings are picky they see mom and dad being picky too.
OP has a really raw deal. Live-in maid and cook who expected to by psychic and know exactly what everone wants. I would of broke a long time before her and told them "If you don't like it, go make yourself a bloody sandwich".
Time to reapportion chores. Everybody gets a night of the week to cook. Even a 10 year old can microwave and open a can. Hold your complaints,, you pick menu on your night to cook.
Many years ago I was laid off from my job so I was stuck at home when not looking for a job. The economy had a downturn and there weren't many jobs out there. My wife was able to get a job at a nice restaurant and she was working evenings. I got to be mister mom for several months since her job was very stressful so I handled everything on the home front. Turned out I told her that I really enjoyed being a stay at home dad so not to worry. Time goes by and I get another job and she leaves hers. So after she is complaining about how hard it is being a full time mom but my response is... I'll trade places... she shuts up because she knows I have been there. In her defense, she does have nervous disorders so I don't push her too much and I still gave her breaks when it was getting too much for her. The kids are all grown now and I'm retired and we are with each other 24/7 and haven't killed each other yet so I think we came through alright.
Story 2: NTA - I heard being an ATC is VERY stressful, you have 100's/1000's of lives dependent on you. So yes even if all hell broke loose while she was gone, it would have still seemed like a vacation; no one was gonna die if you didn't clean or cook or if the kids didn't get fed in a timely manner.
I had an argument with my sister when her brat smashed a crystal vase deliberately. She refused to pay and swore at me , told me l had enough money. When brats birthday came round l didn't buy him a present. Queue more screaming and swearing. My three brothers got in on the act and called me an ass hole so l hung up on them. Come Christmas l didn't buy any presents for any of them, after all, why would an asshole buy presents for people who insult him ?
Nice, ol' saying You Reap what you Sow
See you should have given the brat a gift. A bag of fragments from the vase he destroyed.
I would never speak with the sil ever again! No apology would be given!
Story 2: NTA, I think she's trying to martyr herself. The fact she thinks she can't trust the father of her kids to watch the kids is quite telling. She needs breaks, but it's worrying she thinks can't give herself a break. It's unintentionally manipulative, a way of saying she doesn't need him to do it.
Story 1. "I'm sorry I called the police buuuuut..."
I hate people who only apologise when they only want something. OP is absolutely right to tell her to go play in traffic.
Second story, how the hell are people saying nah? Op is obviously nta but his wife is. He offered to take care of his kids and she laughed in his face because she thinks so little of his parenting abilities that his having to watch them for just a few days is impossible. Then when everything was fine she got mad at him because even though he didn't say anything like it she took that as him insulting her.
Yeah they all forgot that part or ignored it
That second story is why I hate media so much. People are literally conditioned through TV and movies to think that men are somehow incompetent when most of us are at work handling way tougher shit than managing your kids for a few days. Christ, parenting can be frustrating as hell but it doesn't take any particularly difficult set of skills.
In all fairness it took me some time to get used to taking care of my kids by myself. When she would leave, I would get anxious for the first hour or so. After awhile I was like, "I got this" It was more about getting used to their routines than anything.
I am often saddened by the stories about adults who over-critique kids' diet and weight. I grew up in an Italian-American household, where overeating was encouraged in children, and was praised. To this day, and I'm in my 70s, I have to fight the urge to overeat to make myself feel better. At least I know why, and how I was trained to seek approval through gorging. Incidentally, I'm now 6'2" and 160 pounds, so I win more often than not.
I’m like you, don’t mess with my kids. Messing with my kids can be hasa
Hazardous to your health 🤨. If you want to start something, I don’t care how or what your intentions are keep your words to yourself.
Story 1: NTA. Skip the calling the police, just take the "My SIL had an argument the night before and on the way to drop the kids off, she called me and told me she wasn't watching the kids" and you still would not be the a-hole for refusing to watch her kids. You can't be expected to change your work schedule or find another babysitter every time you and your SIL have an argument, and if you are, you need a different babysitting arrangement.
Story one well there's an old saying I know growing up... "play stupid games, win stupid prizes".
2nd story. Wife is TA for expecting daddy to screw up and be rescued. Newsflash ladies....we can do your "mommy stuff" just fine.
Totally Agree, Never babysit for this Dangerous person, relative or not, Ever, Ever again.
Story 2: People like this have vey low self-esteem. She had no faith in her husband, and expected him to fail, then when everything went fine she blew up? She should just be thankful that she can rely on him when she needs a break. She needs to grow up. She might have been overly stressed and burnt out, but getting angry about not failing is horrible. She needs to take a breather and come back.
This is the second time I've seen a story where the SAHM comes back and finds out to her dismay partner is actually a competent parent.
The other one I saw the wife actually left with a dismissive/snide remark like she was expecting her husband to fail spectacularly. The husband in that one not only does a challenge accepted regarding the kids, goes above and beyond and fixes up a few things around the house. Wife has a breakdown when she comes back and sees her home looking better than ever.
Seriously though the incompetent at home dad figure you see in sitcom's is too prevalent if people are going to default to that as an expectation for their partner.
My mother had a table centerpiece that said, "Come to the table and take a look, the first to complain is tomorrow's cook."
When my kids became teenagers and I was still cooking breakfast for them before school they started complaining about breakfast ( didn’t want that this morning,why didn’t I cook this instead , they were not hungry,etc. ) so I got fed up and told them if they didn’t eat what I cooked they could cook for themselves! They thought it was not so hard to do so started to do so( I taught them when they didn’t know how to do something) and they finally figured out what I meant when I quit cooking .Now they are all married and teach their kids to cook for themselves as they get old enough to!!
First story: NTA NTA NTA NTA NTA!
That nut job wants you to babysit after CALLING THE COPS ON YOU?? Cut contact and run for the hills, because she’ll do worse if she gets away with it.
People acting like raising their own kids is some hardship that a father couldn’t cope with...SMH.
Most men have no problems looking after their own children, and it just seems like the woman’s ego was bruised because she has been telling herself some nonsense like she is the one shouldering the hardest work rather than seeing herself as part of her family’s team working towards the same goals like the husband has been.
It’s a problem of mindset on her end.
My ex brother in law is a wonderful dad and is always taking care of both my niece and nephew while my older sister just did whatever she thought she wanted. He is leaving her soon and their doing a 50/50 split of custody and he works full time most nights. He is a awesome dad who loves his kids and he works hard for them.
How is "you did this to yourself" an apology?
S3, it's your parents job to feed and take care of their children ,not you ,your a child who is being taken advantage of .You need to tell CPS ,a teacher ,school councillor about what your parents are making you do .This can be classed as abuse ,verbal and mental abuse ,your family members need to take a long hard look at themselves in side and out .Please let someone know what is happening to you NOW .NTA
NTA! Tell mom and brother to pound sand. This broad called the cops on OP over an argument. This is incredibly spiteful.
SAHM is such a tough job no woman wants to do it. NTA.
So they made OP the parent. Instead of being grateful for what she does they berate. And why the he'll can't a 15 YO make dinner?
NTA.
To MIL who is making disparaging remarks about a child. "Is this walk too brisk for you? I know it's getting harder at your age." "You really need to find a new moisturizer for your face. What you're doing just isn't working on your wrinkles."
"You think my kid is fat? Your eyes deceive you. I hear that happens with old age."
ATCs are high suicidal rates, so watching two kids for a week is relaxing. Do nurses in hospitals have the same stress level as a teenager working at McDonald's?
A text message is NOT a warning!!!!
You can send a text message and some people won't even notice them for days. It's a covenant method of communication buts it's unreliable.
Yep. She needed “closed loop communication”. SIL never confirmed anything with OP.
Not to mention texting the same am while the OP was driving over is an AH move!
Even if op read it before leaving the house, now what? That is such short notice for a non emergency. Has SIL said something the night before when they had their argument, op would have at least had time to find alternate child care for the day. That's reason enough to void the arrangement for someone more reliable.
First story, so sad that your mother & brother have broken moral compasses. Sil risked the safety & well-being of your kids with the possibility of being taken away into the cps/foster environment as well as destroying your career. Who in their right mind would enable that bs?
everyone needs to stop defending the stay at home mom, she laughed in her husbands face when he suggested he watch the kids, then got angry when he didnt fail....thats not a good person she doesnt need to be defended or explained. she even thought while he watched and played with the kids after working one of the most stressful jobs in the world that he was just "playing" at being daddy. she doesnt see him as a partner and wanted him to fail for her own validation. and dont forget had he failed the children would have been the ones to suffer for it...she wanted her family that she is supposed to love to have a shit time so she could feel better about herself. idc how long shes been a stay at home mom thats a disgusting reactions and shes a shit person. she deserves no pats on the back what she needs is therapy.
story 4: Nta. MIL is lucky OP is a "snowflake" and didn't break her dentures for insulting her child. Her husband needs to also grow a damn spine and protect his kids.
Story 3: OP should give a copy of The Red Hen to her parents.
Being a stay at home parent is extremely easier than people make it out to be.
For the first story, if OP’s mom is so worried about childcare for the kids, let HER keep the kids or or pay for daycare. SIL made her bed when she called the police on OP. OP needs to go NC with the SIL as she sounds unstable and vindictive and doesn’t need that much contact with OP or her children. The next time a child gets a bruise (and we know some kids are just genuinely active and get bruises and scrapes), OP may be reported to CPS.
Story 1: OP is NTA! SIL deserves to lose childcare because of her ridiculously petty actions; I would go NC.
So many people don't get that forgiveness and trust are not the same. Op can forgive her SIL for calling the police on her, but she can never trust her with her kids again. With the agreement broken, she has no reason to continue watching SIL's kids. Even if she continued watching SIL's kids, would there be a false police call later on for some presumed infraction towards the kids? Not worth it.
YES! This!! Forgiveness and trust are NOT the same thing. Thank you for sum in this up.
The OP cannot afford to risk her SIL doing something similar in the future next time she get into a snit about something dumb. She showed the kind of person she is (petty and vindictive with no thought to the impact of her actions) and has not showed that she has changed (with her non-apology).
Mom, you stood up for your family. Good for you. Your hubby needs to shut up his mother.
So let's get this straight. OP gets a chance to have time with and bond with his kids, give her a chance to take time for herself and feel good about it AND prove that a father can take care of children and she's mad? Really? You are definitely NTA!
Story 2: compared with air traffic control I think taking care of kids and a house is very relaxed. Is like a surgeon that has the live of a person in his hands for 10 hours, those people will find most jobs relaxing.
Sil should have thought about consequences before she called cops. Let her suffer. She did this to her own family. Huge AH
That police interaction is on your file for LIFE! Even if no charges or further act were deemed needed. If your job or a new one do a background check they will see it. OT can still fully ruin you! Let your brother & SIL sink!!!
Never piss off a cook/chef. They can do A LOT! I once listened to a call in on the radio where members of the kitchen staff, highest to lowest, and waiting staff talked about how they dealt with difficult customers. SCARY! The only person you can bitch about is the dish pig and hope she/he doesn't remember you when they work their way up.
Complaints instead of thanks? They obviously don't value OP's work and if they're unhappy, easily sorted. STOP DOING IT!
1st story OP is NTA. The SIL came to the realization that she had messed up and now wants their baby sitting agreement back that was more beneficial for her than OP. The parents don't want to have to help them with rent or house them if SIL loses her job.
2nd story OP is NTA. His wife probably feels her status as a stay at home mom is at risk not considering that he took off work to take care of their children. Her "job" is not as demanding and time consuming as when they were babies and toddlers and he probably would have had a more difficult experience had that been the case. As the children get older things should get easier for her with the exception of her chauffering them to various activities and events.
3rd story the parents are TA. They forced the oldest into an adult role to take care of them, the house and their children and then punished her like a child because she rebelled against their childish reactions to the dinner she prepared. Don't put your child in an adult's job and then ground them when they have a reasonable reaction to the complaints made about the job they did.
2nd story: Wife is the AH. The man is an ATC if it isn't a major city he's going to be dealing with 20-30 planes at a time all moving in circles sometimes only a couple hundred feet apart at over a hundred miles an hours. WHO would think caring for 2 children under the age of 5, one of whom probably is BARELY MOBILE, would be difficult compared to that? He wasn't disrespecting how hard her job is, but she obviously has no concept of how difficult HIS JOB is. She was expecting him to call her in a panic like the idiot "TV dads" and she's pissed because his job makes her job look easy. It's only by comparison, tho, and he didn't even suggest that, he just said it was relaxing, which it almost definitely was.
For comparison, his wife was juggling 4 eggs, he juggles 8 running chainsaws every day. Juggling 4 eggs is hard, but not as hard as juggling 8 running chainsaws. Juggling the eggs would be considered relaxing. She should be happy that when she started complaining he didn't hand her the chainsaws.
Why is a 17-year-old is being forced to cook for seven people? What are the parents doing?
Story 1: NTA , well if it isn't the repercussions of her own actions , and I love how she tries to downplay what she did and didn't apologize🤦🏿♂️... Play stupid games win stupid prizes.
Stay out of your sisters life, a person who escalates like that is unpredictable and dangerous, not to be trusted with your kids.
I would never in my life do another thing for it or trust that it wouldn't do something like this in the future, and it jeopardized the safety of op's kids by calling police of all things to the children which could have resulted in them being taken to abusive cps and cost op her career and financial stability! Hopefully they do have to move in with its parents hours away as the further the better!
Fourth story; NTA. Have you thought of going no contact with the horrible woman?
You should.
What dad's never take into consideration is that kids listen to dad's more then they do to moms. This is fun for dad for a couple days. Do it everyday.
"I'm not an essential worker"
Yes you are. Your job feeds your family, what's more essential than that?
Story 1 NTA the sil is a horrible person who did not need to call the police. OP is right not to go back to the old child care arrangement she couldn't trust the sil not to pull another stunt like that if she got angry with OP again.
Story 2 OP is NTA being an ATC is far more stressful than staying at home caring for the children. His wife wanted OP to fail so that she could gloat she us the AH. I was a stay at home with four children until my youngest child was 3. It was hard work but not nearly as stressful as some mothers make it out to be.
Story 1...wait, what? She called the cops? She was mad over an argument and went beyond nuclear, SIL had the Death Star in orbit and ready to fire...played a stupid game and won a stupid prize.
1st story. OP, ITS NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Tell your family to babysit for her if they are that concerned.
Why are there so many people who think it's okay because nothing happened?
Once someone calls the police on you over petty stuff, that relationship is over. The only reason you should call the cops on family members or anyone is for serious issues. She delayed the police from dealing with real crimes. The SIL should not have displaced her anger on her nieces and nephews. Karen the SIL burnt that bridge.
Did your kids know? Family has fights but we never endanger a child! Lucky cps didn't step in! That trash called the cops what if they got there first and traumatized the kids. The parents deserve to live with the kid they care about so much
Story 2: NTA wife is suffering from insecurity. Having the husband be able to handle the kids and household without her diminished her value somewhat.
You’re under no obligation to watch anyone’s kids but your own.
Story 1: NTA she dragged kids into an argument between you two and didn't think that'd cause you to retaliate by refusing to help look after her kids in the future yeah nice one genius.
Story 2: so, she assumed you couldn't care for your kids, which calling to check in constantly which defeated the whole point of her going on the trip in the first place as it was to help her cure her cabin fever and give her a break, then to come back and get mad because your partner didn't have a hard time. NTA and she needs to realize you're perfectly able to look after your kids.
Story 3: let's see they've basically parentification you, bitched up and down over your cooking choices then, expected you not to stop doing it when you had enough NTA and move out as soon as possible.
Story 4: shouldn't be fat shaming kids especially when the child wasn't even fat in the first place, they're kids let them be who they are. then to lie to the whole family about what was said to play victim time to cut contact i think because if they won't even hear your side what else will they believe if MIL decides to keep lying about you.
"if you truly forgive her"
But what if you don't truly forgive her?
Story 1. NTA. What happens next time they have an argument, OP babysits the kids and SIL decides her kids might be at risk due to the fight and calls the cops again? That is the risk OP would run if she caves into the pressure.
Air traffic controller NTA women always get made when you do there job better then them especially child carrying they think that they had some monopoly over child rearing and like to pretend it’s the hardest job in the world while eating cereal in there pj’s all day drinking wine
Being an air traffic controller you work circles around her daily it’s one of the most stressful jobs in the WORLD so of course taking care of your children would of been a walk in the park in comparison.
In all seriousness she probably had the dilution she had the harder “job” and was hoping you would fail so she could come back and say SEE!!?!?? This is why I need vacations?!?!!
You no not your husband who has one of the most stressful jobs in the world na he needs to stay home and watch the kids while mom takes a vacation from her vacation hahah
Ok first story Nta. If I had an arrangement before hand I would ignore any fight I had with the person. Also not checking Ops phone while driving? She is smart! She could have gotten into a wreck or worse if she texted and drove. That sil is such an ah and I hope she keeps suffering for her actions.
Calling the police on their mother must have traumatised the children. Protecting her children is more important than hurt feelings.
If that MIL in that last story thinks what she did was okay then why is she lying about it to the rest of the family? She knows she was in the wrong
When she said her siblings were complaining they were all single single-digit age not two of them being old enough to be in high school Jesus Christ they can cook for themselves I would argue even 12 even 12 and 10 are old enough to make food by yourself as long as you're not wasteful and extra
And her dad specifically requesting Hawaiian style pizza means that most if not all of his opinions especially Pizza related opinions no longer matter
If the sil called the cops for abandoning her kids, why would she want her to babysit? If she wanted to use her as a babysitter, doesn't she think the kids will be abandoned again?
S3- Are they even parents? Why are they even there if they're putting it on their kid?