Story 1: AITA For not attending my sister's life events after she made it clear I wasn't a priority to her Story 2: 5:13 AITA for blocking my BIL and his wife so they didn't have to see our baby pictures? Story 3: 8:55 AITA For suggesting that my SIL and Daughter hire a nanny? Story 4: 12:45 AITA For suggesting that my SIL and Daughter hire a nanny?
You are a rock star.... no clickbait, you start with the story that drove me to click on this “story” then you continue with a list of included stories. Thank you
Yeah she’s not reaching out bc she cares about her brother’s presence but rather his presents 🎁 she’s reaching out bc it’s customary for guest to bring gifts to the baby shower and she was probably expecting something expensive from them
@@mayamichelle4163 oh I'd go, the only thing I'd bring though is a card saying "welcome to the newest member of the family" place on a table and leave. Doesnt even acknowledge OPs sister and showing up for a minute alone would be effort put forth than their sister ever showed them. But I'm just petty like that.
Op also said she wouldn’t do any event that wasn’t about her so now she’s all about doing it because it’s all about her. And yeah for sure wanting the extra gifts and such along with the extra attention on her
Story 1. OP your sister has made a continuous and concerted effort to cut you out of her life, even at family gatherings neither of you interact. Your wedding - No show, First child - No show Other children's births - No show. Now she is having a child and expects you to show up, I think you missed a good opportunity to say "Oh well you'll be having more kids so it doesn't matter". As to your parents just remind them of all the times that she did not attend events in your life. "Mom, she couldn't even be bothered to attend my wedding, her own brothers wedding!". Then leave it up to them and revert to your extremely low contact with your sister. Hey after your wife's work event if you can get a baby-sitter why don't you and your wife go out clubbing and post instagram pictures for all to see!
Re: OP #1, generally one tends to get back what they put forth in their relationships. The younger sister couldn't be bothered to attend her brother's wedding or the brother's and wife's baby shower, and she's so clueless as to wonder why her brother is not there for her, and her baby, as a single parent??? Some of these people are so ridiculously clueless that you wish you could send them a quarter so they'd be able to buy themselves a clue...and even then they might not get it.
Yeah that got me. If I have a problem with my sister I go to her directly, I don't bother her husband. Maybe if i have a problem with the husband I MIGHT go to her first. Of course I am not scared of my sister.
It's her social media account. She can post whatever pics and causes she wants. There are 3 buttons most social media have these days that you can use: Block, Unfollow, and Mute. Fun part is these 3 buttons work both ways for user and followers. Fill free to use them at anytime if you don't like someone's post or comments.
Exactly! The sister shows how little she cares to be involved in her brother's life. She didn't attend his wedding she didn't attend the baby shower all because she doesn't care. She only cares now that she's not getting a free gift from OP because she's gonna be a single mom.
She does care, about herself and her needs 1st and foremost. NTA. OP's priorities are his wife and children not Sara. If the parents are cool with her putting herself 1st always then tell them they should be ok with OP putting his family 1st before anyone else, it's in the vows. Sara set that bridge of fire without any care given. It's not on OP to rebuild or even cross it should sister rebuild it by herself. Just keep being polite and courteous when dealing with her at family functions. Tell your parents we're siblings, not friends.
Because of the baby, his kids cousin. The baby hasn't done anything wrong. You can make sure to make a point about it and then go anyway for the babys sake.
Story 2: NTA. The wife can post what she wants on her own social media page. And what are they supposed to do at family events? Leave the kids behind? There’s not liking kids but then there’s what BIL and his wife are doing, and that level of hatred of kids is gross.
From my knowledge growing up if you don't bring your kids to family functions it actually is more hurtful, especially to the older generation who loves seeing babies and little kids running around and playing, especially my grandpa. If you don't come or bring the kids you can bet you'll hear about it, even at weddings I've seen family members who were the bride and groom get upset when someone didn't bring their kids, couldn't even hide it from their faces, they were hurt, like near tears for the bride hurt. I know not everyone is like that, but that's how people are on both sides of my family. So if OP's wife's family is like mine, then maybe brother-in-law should just not go, however I'd love to witness everyone tear him a new one if he brought it up at a family reunion while the kids were playing
He told how it was already such a agony to see the kids on holidays? Don't bring them to the next and tell the family members what he said, then sit back...
Story 3. If you are unable to look after your own children then don't have them. No one else is responsible for looking after your offspring. Parenting requires sacrifices OP did it for his children, now the daughter has to do it for her children, it's called the circle of life.
The entitlement of people who feel like other people should cook for them to THEIR standards. My friend was having her first child and asked all her family and friends to cook meals for her so she can have a break to focus on her newborn. I thought it was an odd ask but went with it and made a chicken pot pie for her. She NEVER thanked me or acknowledged it. Her HUSBAND texted me send me his gratitude and said he enjoyed it. I learned from a mutual friend of ours that she didn't like it. This is coming from a girl who used to be my roommate claiming she CAN cook and when she tried to make Hamburger Helper, she stood there staring at the ground beef package and asked me what to do! How about trying to open the package for a start?!?! Ugh..glad I cut her off (for non-related reasons)
Wow. Just wow! Even if I don’t like something, I’ll still say thank you because I acknowledge they’ve gone through the effort to make it. That’s kind of you to do that. Chicken pot pie is very good! I’m confused why someone wouldn’t like it.
Story 1 NTA Sarah has shown she has no interest in OP or his life. OP is right to decline the invitation. Story 2 OP's wife was right to block her bil and his wife from her social media. The bil was obnoxious about the baby pictures and thought he could control what pictures were posted on her social media account. I would also have blocked them. Story 3 OP is NTA. Grandparents are not always able to retire and be available as full time free babysitters. Story 4 NTA the sil is an entitled witch who didn't appreciate how OP was trying to help her. The sil insulted OP's cooking, ordered take out when she knew OP was already cooking for them. The sil has only herself to blame.
Story 1: NTA. Sara decided to keep the baby after the one night stand. She just wants the gifts and attention. The absolute nerve of her to ask op why when she never showed up for his important events is ridiculous
@@pnorbert2222 Oh my god, it's not the 1500's anymore, Norbert. They aren't kings or queens either. Single mothers are just mothers that are single. They aren't fucking villains. Well, except this chick. Because she's just a piece of work. But that has nothing to do with her being a single mother. Nobody actually cares about illegitimate children. Every child is someone's, dude. Just because they were born to an unmarried person, doesn't mean shit these days. Get with the times.
The last comment on the last story made me rage as all hell. I can't meal prep now and couldn't when I had a place, but I liked making things I could eat all day and the next just to save time. A pot of spaghetti was dinner one night for my mother and I, and then all I ate the next day. Chicken teriyaki with rice was the same. If I could meal prep for a month, then gave it to someone, but they threw it all out, I would cut them up one side and down the other. Then they have the balls to ask for two to three times what it cost me to make all that food so they could eat out, oh hell no. Cut the dead weight and run it over with a truck.
Family did that to us on a vacation. We brought food so we could eat some dinners together. Spent a good amount of money and time cooking and freezing it. Then they treated it like it was diet food, my wife is diabetic so she made meals that wouldn't mess with her blood sugar. They were made with ground turkey instead of beef like meat loaf and Salisbury steaks. Wife is a good cook that took time and effort to come up with good tasty recipes for these meals. Never did that again.
I know right, I thought that last comment was a whole other story. I'd have gone no contact for the next three to six months and remain low contact until they have proven they can pull their heads out their butts. Mom too, does her husband know about this (I find too many entitled mother's have regretfully sucked the life out of very good father's, but even if dad is also an entitled prick, most entitled father's hate hearing that one kid wasted money so might still take her side unless she's a golden child. In which case, no contact and remain that way.
I know I was mad at that last story. Naw I'm not giving you a cent to go out to eat. Have they not heard "beggers can't be choosers." The sis and Bil need to stop wasting OP time and money by throwing out food that OP took the time to meal prep.
Title story: NTA. Sister didn't care about any of OP's major life events, but then he does it back to her, and she's "surprised Pikachu face"? LOL OP should have used her words back "It's not a big deal, you'll have more kids riiight?" OP owes her nothing, and frankly her parents suck for enabling this brat. As long as he's giving out truth-tea, he should give the parents some also.
She's constantly partying and ignoring all responsibilities. I doubt she's ready to have a kid or that she actually wants one. I'd bet money that this is a ploy to either get them to raise her kid for her or, if she's not too far along, to get money before having a procedure done. I know it's pessimistic but I know people who had kids and decided to keep them just so they could use them as leverage against their family that cares about the kids.
LMAO! I don't care about seeing kids on my social media feed as well, but you know what I did? Scroll passed them! I wouldn't even dream of asking any of my family members or friends what to do with their social media other than advising them to set the post setting to "friends and family" instead of "public" because you know there are a bunch of creeps out there. That BIL is just insane.
Right. I don't care for all the political posts and drama that surrounds it so I just unfollow those people. I'm very grateful for that button since I used to just unfriend! 😂
I just "spring cleaned" my FC account, I unfriended more that 50 people bc most of it were just random people or people with whom I don't want to keep in contact. Easy as that.
I actually really feel this, family to both my husband and I have made their cover photos of their small kids kissing one another (which in my opinion is wrong on its own), and my husband and I hate it because that's public for starters and secondly, there's a lot of creeps out there who get off on that.
@@GabrielleHayes1921 I mean... kisses don't have to be sexual but it's your culture thst made you saw it as something weird to happen between families. But whatever.
Why do people assume their parents will drop everything or inconvenience themselves for the kids? The grandparents did their time figuring it out. Now it is your time. I'm thankful that my son's paternal grandmother loves any time she has with him but I don't expect it.
I blame your parents for creating such a monster. But don't worry, because of them babying her, not telling her no, they're the ones who will be watching her kid in there old age. And then expect to be reached out by your parents when they beg you to help watch or pay for your lil sisters children. (Once the first baby comes, party girls have another one right afterwards. Happens every time.)
bil and sil could have blocked the baby pictures avoiding any hard feelings.... IMO think that sil was seeing them and getting baby fever and bil wasn’t having it. He was the one to contact OP with the request to stop posting them. Sil was probably at home and went to look at the baby pics and was like wtf? I think the second call from bil was to cover his tracks and get access back to sil to avoid a fight about having kids.
Not just block on social media....block them in real life...they don't want to deal with children in real life right....so don't go see them at all....treat them as strangers....
Story 3: NTA....they can afford a nanny. I'd personally go that route if I could afford it...you don't go having kids betting on someone else to take care of them for free while you work... stop making plans for other people without actually involving them in the planning process and then getting upset when they don't bend to your will.
SIL and daughter want free child care from grandparents. Tell them to pound sand. You and your wife sacrificed for your children when they was growing up, if they are willing to do it for their children that is not your problem.
If she never cared about you, let someone else support her now. Save your support for friendly relatives. I dumped my entire extended family for this. No regrets.
Brother-in-law in Story 2 is such a freakin’ coward. He wants to dictate what his own sister should be posting on social media, but doesn’t want to the “bad guy” in situation so he tries to pressure OP into talking to her. Then when his sister sends him a message and calls him out on his behavior, he _still_ doesn’t have the guts to talk to her and whines at OP instead! On another note, I’m alarmed by the number of stories I’ve seen on Reddit of child-free couples who hold nothing but contempt for children. If you don’t want children, that’s fine, you do you. But it disturbs me the level of vitriol these couples hold towards their nieces, nephews, or just any child in general. Particularly if these children have done nothing wrong and just hated for the fact that they are children.
THANK YOU. Seriously-- The fact that half of reddit's user base think of kids as these subhuman parasitic animals is stupid at best and flat out malicious at worst. Hell, most of the time the kids don't even fucking do anything to be hated except... Exist. You can't hate someone without a reason unless it's a kid in reddit's eyes, I guess
It's a 2 way street though. Many parents are just insistent that their kids be welcome to every event whether kid friendly or not. Also it's tiring being asked when are you going to have kids, don't you want to be a parent, you'll regret not having kids when you get older, who will take care of you when you get old, what about your family's legacy, it's part of God's plan for you to get married and have kids, etc.. Too many people put the pressure on women and men to go out get married and start having kids.
If someone doesn't want to see your feed.... block them... simple... he could have just unfollowed her. Your wife slapped tf out of her brother in a sweet and quiet way.
You teach people how to treat you. She taught you that she is not your sister, that you are not a priority, and that you don’t matter. Send her a letter listing out every single event that she refused to attend, every single time she has let you down, and close the letter by telling her that you have learned the lesson well and will not have anything further to do with her.
First story: And, that, ladies and gentlemen, is the start of another Karen! "Single moms should have it all!" Re: The OP whose daughter wanted her to keep her children after school. My mom made it crystal clear she had "raised hers" and was not a babysitter when I had my first child. I adjusted accordingly. No big deal. It was my child.
That's probable. I've had to break up with a woman who got baby fever looking at my cousin's baby photos (I don't want children ever, I'm [expletive] terrified of turning out like my father. He was the scumbag who taught me what hate was. I would swan dive off a cliff before I turned in to him).
@@chaosreaver3597 you did the right thing. That’s a huge incompatibility to have. Kid people should only date other kid people and Vice versa. There are women out there who don’t want kids. There should be a dating app just for people who don’t want them, if there isn’t already. I happen to be a kid person, but I massively understand the people who don’t want them. They are hard work and it’s a thankless job most of the time. But knowing that I did want them-it was a deal breaker if a partner didn’t and that did come up once. He ended up child free forever, which there were a few abortions while he was dating around due to that (I heard). I married someone else and had two kids and it was the best thing for me personally. I’m sure we’re both happier having parted ways before this problem became a huge thing between us. Since it was known early on, I just said goodbye and we parted as friends. No big deal.
Story 2: NTA. They could easily just hide the posts, but noooo. They wanted to be entitled and try to dictate what someone puts on their social media page. So, problem solved. Now you don't have to see anything plus the kids. 🤷🏿♀️
Last story, that is unbelievable. 🤯 they threw away all that food and expected someone to fork over $600 a month in addition to the money spent in that frozen food so they could eat at red lobster?!
Lol “they like red lobster” 😆🤣🤣😂 reminds me of the time I offered a homeless guy the carne asada burrito I had just gotten and he said “no thank you I’m vegan” I was shocked for a sec haha
Yup. I had a homeless patient who reported me to the manager because I didn’t serve him a vegetarian breakfast. First, I’m a nurse. I don’t work in the kitchen, and don’t make his meals. 2nd, I just started my shift when dietary delivered the breakfast trays. 3rd, I didn’t give him his tray. I can’t believe it.
Okay homeless people are allowed to not accept everything you give them. Geez, this post drips with condescension. He said "no thank you" You don't know his reasons for being Vegan, there are people that don't eat meat for religious reasons or health reasons, those don't disappear because you become homeless. 🤦🏿♂️
2 story: that has got to be the most obnoxious and unbelivable thing i have ever heard. Who in their right mind just ask someone to stop doing something on their social media account the fact that bil asked op and not his own sister seems spineless and something op should not be invovled with at all. Seems like a problem 2 siblings need to resolve
It is ridiculous! People here are wondering if BIL’s wife was getting baby fever so BIL called OP to get him to tell his wife to stop posting baby pics. 🤷🏻♀️
Story 2: How hard can it be to just scroll down the pictures. My facebook is full of mothers, and even though I'm not child free, I don't want to see baby pictures all day. But, you know, I just scroll down and keep going.
Story2: NTA. BiL's got some nerve, trying to dictate what someone else puts on their social media. He can mute her, he can unfollow, he can pluck his eyes out. Story4: Massive NTA. Wow insulting someone in their own home, then expecting handouts? 3 words: Kick Her Out. She's already got 2 strikes against her, that's 2 too many. Hope husband isn't the weak link/enabler here.
Give them $400-$600 dollars to eat out!? They threw away a month's worth of food because they didn't like cooking!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING... They could have given the food back or specified what they wanted.
First story reminds me of my brother. I don’t exist to him, will barely talk or acknowledge me, and only calls me when it’s by mistake. After some horrible shit he said about our family being done, I’ve given up trying. Now he wonders why I don’t interact with him. Reap what you sow.
I’m so sorry for you. I have a similar situation between my two kids and it really sucks. My son never calls anyone unless he needs something and he acts like his sister doesn’t exist. They were fairly close as kids and I just don’t get what happened. (Genetically he turned out exactly like my shallow self-centered mother in law who only talks about herself 24/7 and won’t let you get a word in edgewise, he even looks exactly like her instead of my husband (who is a combination of both his parents) or I. He moved out and got a girlfriend and that was the end of talking to his sister much. She feels like you do, hurt and left behind. Once we were somehow all together walking around a store and got separated. He tried to call his sister repeatedly and never got her. Why? She blocked him a year ago. She’s done trying. He still doesn’t realize that she blocked his number. She just said “huh, weird. It never rang. Probably because we’re in a store the reception is bad.”
S3: NTA. “They mentioned they were struggling to maintain a work-life balance…They were hoping my wife and I would watch the kids and drive them to their events…I suggested they hire a nanny and my son-in-law got really self-righteous about us not prioritizing the grandkids.” First off, if they are struggling to “maintain a work-life balance,” how is YOU watching their kids for them going to make their life any more balanced? If anything, it will make it more UNbalanced on the side of work. Secondly, also in the spirit of balancing work and life, how is hiring a nanny any more balanced than you watching the kids? THEY are still not spending time with their kids, which leaves things unbalanced. So what they *really* mean is, “I don’t want to stop working to deal with the kids after school, so will you be our free babysitters so I can focus on my career, kthxbye. Wait, what do you mean, no?! But our kids should be the priority (to everyone but ourselves)! Shouldn’t you be retired now anyway? Why don’t you do that? You know most grandparents would be thrilled to spend time with their grandkids, right?! Why can’t you be more like them?” Harsh? Probably. But they popped out the kids,it is their responsibility to take care of said kids, and that doesn’t just mean financially. One of them can shorten their hours and work half days. They could request a shift change if possible and work opposite hours. They could hire a nanny. But none of their options include demanding someone that didn’t help birth the kid so it for free. Story 4: NTA, and tell your sister this is a classic example of "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," and tell your in-laws "If I want your opinion on the situation, I'll ask for it. Are you willing to take in SIL? No? Then kindly keep it to yourself." Sister was extremely mean and on a power trip, and it came back to bite her in the butt with her poor financial planning. See also: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Last one. If you dont have money for food, you are grateful for anything you get. When i was tight on money, i sucked it up and ate what i could afford, and not what i wanted. If you cant plan within your budget, and be grateful of help, you dont deserve extra help. Who orders takeout when they are that strapped for cash
To the last story, I'll give you a catch phrase I've heard my entire childhood. "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. One day you'll be hungry and wish you had "crappy food" to eat."
Story 3 is hilarious SIL: you don’t prioritize your grandkids Also SIL: I can’t care about my kids because I have a job so I want you to babysit for me
On the first story: I'm surprised OP even declined instead of simply not responding. Though, OP does have a good opportunity to use the "Not a big deal" when they get pushed on it later
Story 2: " he was already forced to deal with our kids" O M G! I would teach my kids to NEVER even look to their face in their lives!!!! Avoid them at any costs or they might turn into stone!!!
Not sister but cousins twins, they tormented me as a child all because I was poor, I don't use tormented lightly my life was hell. Present day they live in my town next to mine (I moved to the states and so did they) one of them have me a crappy apology "I was only playing we were kids" so I'm still no contact with her, on the other hand her sister had....a rather emotional apology, her kid was very sick and she couldn't afford his care( they are both broke af poor life choices or karma?) She quite literally begged on her knees for my forgiveness and my help offering what little she had as collateral and even willing to sign something to work for free for life as I'm quite wealthy now. She was genuinely remorseful as she experienced in her own words "the cold and hunger" honestly I got a few mental illnesses that make me lack empathy, but she managed moved my heart I gave her a big hug and calmed her down, I payed for nephew's treatment plus stuff to help her out (deadbeat dad walked out and fled to guatemala) she lives in one of my rentals she is doing better has a better job (she pays full rent I DON'T give discounts lol) to this day and we have a almost brother and sister relationship, her sister still a B and quite salty that I don't help her or her kids at all.
I didn't come to my cousin wedding too, because I am in college in different city and its not save to going back at night because the road pass by forest and her wedding like in active day, which is a full class schedule. Now after watching this, I feel a as-hole. But I wouldn't feel bad if she also doesn't come to my wedding in future, because I understand everyone have different priority in life.
Last story: NTA. If you like take out just say do. Stop wasting people's time and effort, however, take out is on you if you don't like home cooked meals
When I had my kids my mil let it be known that she wasn't going to be watching/babysit our kids. She had her life to live and wanted nothing to do with childcare. We hired a nanny until my kids started school and then, became a SAHP because life does become complicated sometimes.
Story 3. Grandparents are NOT free babysitter’s. 1-they raised there kids already 2-most of us don’t mind watching grandkid once in a while 3- when you get older most of us don’t have the patience we did when we were younger 4-older people enjoy there own company and free time by there self. So grow up and raise your own kids!!!
@@Vydio That’s what I am saying. I raised 9 kids there is 23 years between the oldest and the youngest. Love my grandkids but definitely don’t want to take care of them that often.
OOoohh the LAST ONE.... THE COMMENT TALKING ABOUT SISTER THROWING AWAY MONTH WORTH OF FOOD !!! ... OLJMFCIH if that was my family it would have been my dad calli g to TELL me i only have one older sister now and that the other never existed and to not go looking for them. oohhh... we'd alll been in trouble
Seriously, who goes out to eat when he doesn't have money to buy food? And red lobster, I would have bought the cheapest food I could in the supermarket. I would have sweared at my mother and sister.
I can understand the POV of the BIL who didn't want to see baby pictures, because there are some parents out there who don't realize that their new baby (especially the first) is all they talk about. One of my Facebook friends did the same thing - for the first year or so she must have made a thousand posts just about what her baby was doing. It got so boring, especially for childfree me, that I unfollowed her. It was not at all dramatic and we were not close friends so I don't think she ever even noticed. Unfollowing people online is supposed to be a clean way of stemming the tide of useless information ... some people can turn anything into a drama. lol
Oh yes, that's the appropriate thing to do. I did this with quite a few friends who have political action agendas (Note: I don't care about the current president, nor the previous one, and I don't think calling either of them names is really going to help anything).
If you don't want to see pictures of people's kids then that's fine but what you don't have the right to do is tell them what they can or can't do on their accounts like the bil did.
@@seyimajek Totally agree, that's why I didn't. I just unfollowed her, no drama, lol I read something I like about this kind of thing last year: "It's not an airport, no need to announce your departure". It was talking about people leaving Facebook groups they weren't having fun in, but I think it can be applied to most online things, lol
Nothing more frustrating than to cook a meal for someone who then turns their nose up at it just to be spiteful. NTA at all, don’t cook for them anymore, it’s not worth it.
1st Story: Can we say Narcissistic? Hmm. So let's get this straight: Sara refuses to give you respect for your life events but expects you to jump and care whether she had a child(out of wedlock, no less!)? She grew up spoiled and entitled but now gets angry when she will no longer be the center of attention? Yep. This is blatantly obvious entitlement on her part.
Story 1. The concept of family first, family forever is just a romanticized hollywood gimmick. The reality is it really depends on the people in your family. If you get along and grow up in a foundation of love and good feelings or even just respect, then it is reasonable to expect preferential treatment for family, maybe making sacrifices for them or to help them. If you don't like your parents or siblings/relatives, then really family is meaningless. It is unreasonable to treat someone like dirt and then expect it to all melt away simply because "family". OP here is NTA, his sister is. Story 2. If I got a text like that from my BIL, it would lead to some very serious issue between the two of us. Where does someone even get the idea they can control what someone else says, does, thinks, or posts on social media? Social media is something each individual is in full control of, if you don't want to see something, you literally can just not look at it. But I guess that is too inconvenient for an entitled sewer rat. Story 3. OP, I'm sorry to have to say this, but it seems you failed as a parent and raised an entitled not adult brat. Putting your foot down now seems to her to be unreasonable because you've likely let her walk all over you her entire life. And the son IL piping in like that, unacceptable. Ask him why his parents can't do it? At any rate, NTA and to me your position is reasonable, but good luck dealing with your spoiled entitled daughter. I would bet millions you'll wind up caving.
I LOVE that last comment on Story #3(?) If YOU are having a problem, then maybe YOU should change YOUR 'work status' to fix it. Instead of implying someone ELSE should!
1. OP should ignore all of her life events, and of course, parents side with her. She wants gifts. 2.Two a-holes that need to be blocked, permanently. it's not about social media, the two hate children. OP should make plans to exclude them from events so they don't hat to "put up" with the kids.
First story: If someone doesn’t have the ability to make important things/people a priority, they won’t make efforts for you. They are not worth your time, NTA.
When I became a single mother, my brother and mom were free babysitter for me. When my mother got sick my children and I kept her at home and took care of her so she didn't go to a nursing home.
I hope the parents of the ungrateful, disrespectful, adult children have made arrangements to keep their kids from EVER getting power of attorney over them if they get down, when they are older. Sounds like they have kids who would dump them in a cheap nursing home, sell everything they have and keep the money - period. They should arrange to make sure that, if they ever do become disabled with illness, injury or age, that their kids can't touch anything that they have. Woman who sister-in-law complains about her cooking ..kick-her-out. Her parents can take them or their other family or friends.
The last story is insane. WHY didn't the sister say this BEFORE she wasted all that food. 🤦♀️ I know rational questions don't work on narcissists but damn. OP needs to cut these losers off.
For the OP whose BIL and wife doesn't likes kids. It's too bad on them because those nieces and nephews will grow up someday and will miss out on having a good relationship with them. You can tell your kids when they are old enough to understand so they can make the decision to have a relationship with uncle and auntie.
Brother in law is afraid that the family is going to offer things to his sister and her family and he won’t get a chance to ask for the same thing or more. He doesn’t care about the kids and I’d talk to the kids about “not bothering” uncle and aunt
I'm amazed how all these kids demand constant babysitting from their parents after their parents were constantly working and still watching them and they didn't learn that from their grandparents always babysitting them. You'd think instead they'd learn to watch their own kids and raise them, but here we are with more entitled parents from hell
There's a lot of people who like to hide behind the moniker of "child free" when what they really are is "child hate". I understand not wanting children for yourself, but some of these people act as if all the world's problems stem from children while ignoring all the bad things adults do like grape, redrum, cults and all the pollution.
@@peteranon8455 respectfully disagree. If you’re speaking of an adult r@ping or murd3ring, the parents don’t get that blame, the adult does. They’re an ADULT. Regardless of their upbringing, they have a brain and basic comprehension of what is good and what is bad. I know wonderful people who were raised by horrible parents. I also know wonderful parents who had bad children. I do agree that parents need to try very hard to be good parents and not just to provide for them materially. They need to be there for them emotionally and make good memories with young children.
@@rachelhoyle5728 I wasn't saying it "morally," more like "cause and effect." As in, if you eliminated Sarah Conner, John Conner wouldn't do what he did.
@@peteranon8455 ah! Gotcha. The error I see with that line of thought is, we have no idea of knowing what John Connor will or will not do, so how would we know to eliminate Sarah? For example, eliminating Klara Hitler so Adolph Hitler wouldn’t have been born. Klara wanted children (from what I understand) but would never know the things he would do later on in his life. He did both good and bad in his life. We look at the bad and judge him by that. Rightly so. Taking him out of the equation sounds logical, but then what effect would that cause? Would it really be a better move? We would think so, but we don’t really know that for sure. We don’t know all of the variables.
1st story. Since OP is already a parent before sister got preg there is also another thing you could do to spice the petty revenge Since you are attending family events, in this case Christmas, make a point that whatever you gift to her kid would be the same thing she gifted yours in the same age. So... If on the baby's first christmas all she did was give it a 20pack of diapers just gift a 20pack of diapers. If in second christmas she did not give a present at all give her an empty box "oh look, the same as my kid back then"
Last story make a giant post of everything you wrote here and say what would you do. Would you keep letting somebody insult you and disrespect you in your home, or would you stand up for yourself. You know how to get her like fish after three days they both stink!And tell mother-in-law you know what feel free to take her.
The 2nd story... lol I can relate to the BIL all my friends are having babies right now so they're all posting pics like crazy so it's driving me crazy. Idk why they think we need to see 100 pics a day.. they look exactly the same as they did yesterday. Like a loaf of a bread in a diaper lol I'm not planning on having children of my own so it's even more annoying to me... not a fan. But I think he went a bit too far, if he was that disturbed by it there's ways showing less of some people's posts. Did he not know how to do that? Or did he just want the drama?
Story 3: how dare full grown adults expect their parents, who already raised their own children, to take on full responsibility of the grand children. Hell! If you weren’t willing to sacrifice anything, why did you have kids. Grand-parents did their job and now they get to spoil their grand kids not raise them. The fact that they’re not even retired is even worse!
![Quando Rondo - Grow Up [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/8zFnCg3BO4Q/mqdefault.jpg)
Story 1:
AITA For not attending my sister's life events after she made it clear I wasn't a priority to her
Story 2: 5:13
AITA for blocking my BIL and his wife so they didn't have to see our baby pictures?
Story 3: 8:55
AITA For suggesting that my SIL and Daughter hire a nanny?
Story 4: 12:45
AITA For suggesting that my SIL and Daughter hire a nanny?
You are a rock star.... no clickbait, you start with the story that drove me to click on this “story” then you continue with a list of included stories. Thank you
My parents would send me the address of a soup kitchen and would tell me to get over myself
My favorite game; "I'll take name the golden child for 500 Alex
Story 1: NTA. The sister is definitely reaching out bc she wants free babysitting from OP and his wife after her kid is born
She's about to realize everything you do to people has a way of coming back to you...
Yeah she’s not reaching out bc she cares about her brother’s presence but rather his presents 🎁 she’s reaching out bc it’s customary for guest to bring gifts to the baby shower and she was probably expecting something expensive from them
@@mayamichelle4163 oh I'd go, the only thing I'd bring though is a card saying "welcome to the newest member of the family" place on a table and leave. Doesnt even acknowledge OPs sister and showing up for a minute alone would be effort put forth than their sister ever showed them. But I'm just petty like that.
Op also said she wouldn’t do any event that wasn’t about her so now she’s all about doing it because it’s all about her. And yeah for sure wanting the extra gifts and such along with the extra attention on her
Or free stuff
Story 1: The sister is reaping what she sowed, aka nothing.
I hope OP (brother with the bratty pregnant sister) really updates this story.
Paraphrase her pithy response. "Big deal, you'll probably get knocked up with other one night stands and have more kids anyway".
Story 1. OP your sister has made a continuous and concerted effort to cut you out of her life, even at family gatherings neither of you interact. Your wedding - No show, First child - No show Other children's births - No show. Now she is having a child and expects you to show up, I think you missed a good opportunity to say "Oh well you'll be having more kids so it doesn't matter". As to your parents just remind them of all the times that she did not attend events in your life. "Mom, she couldn't even be bothered to attend my wedding, her own brothers wedding!". Then leave it up to them and revert to your extremely low contact with your sister. Hey after your wife's work event if you can get a baby-sitter why don't you and your wife go out clubbing and post instagram pictures for all to see!
Hahaha!
Re: OP #1, generally one tends to get back what they put forth in their relationships.
The younger sister couldn't be bothered to attend her brother's wedding or the brother's and wife's baby shower, and she's so clueless as to wonder why her brother is not there for her, and her baby, as a single parent???
Some of these people are so ridiculously clueless that you wish you could send them a quarter so they'd be able to buy themselves a clue...and even then they might not get it.
Sara is the AH.
Use pre-assembled response.
Sorry, I an stressed and need to unwind and decompress. Good luck.
Send after every request.
BIL contacted you instead of his own sister because she probably whould have cussed him out.
I did get a little laugh from that: "I don't want to upset my sister, so can you do it?" Really?
Husband should listen to his wife because she's been dealing with this crap for much longer and knows how to handle it!
Yeah that got me. If I have a problem with my sister I go to her directly, I don't bother her husband. Maybe if i have a problem with the husband I MIGHT go to her first. Of course I am not scared of my sister.
It's her social media account. She can post whatever pics and causes she wants. There are 3 buttons most social media have these days that you can use: Block, Unfollow, and Mute. Fun part is these 3 buttons work both ways for user and followers. Fill free to use them at anytime if you don't like someone's post or comments.
Should've told Sara "you'll have more babies right?"
Why should this guy be with his sister when she was never there for him
Exactly! The sister shows how little she cares to be involved in her brother's life. She didn't attend his wedding she didn't attend the baby shower all because she doesn't care. She only cares now that she's not getting a free gift from OP because she's gonna be a single mom.
Because she deserves a present, of course. (eye roll)
She does care, about herself and her needs 1st and foremost. NTA. OP's priorities are his wife and children not Sara. If the parents are cool with her putting herself 1st always then tell them they should be ok with OP putting his family 1st before anyone else, it's in the vows. Sara set that bridge of fire without any care given. It's not on OP to rebuild or even cross it should sister rebuild it by herself. Just keep being polite and courteous when dealing with her at family functions. Tell your parents we're siblings, not friends.
Because of the baby, his kids cousin. The baby hasn't done anything wrong. You can make sure to make a point about it and then go anyway for the babys sake.
Story 2: NTA. The wife can post what she wants on her own social media page. And what are they supposed to do at family events? Leave the kids behind? There’s not liking kids but then there’s what BIL and his wife are doing, and that level of hatred of kids is gross.
Agreed. I don’t understand his thought process there.
From my knowledge growing up if you don't bring your kids to family functions it actually is more hurtful, especially to the older generation who loves seeing babies and little kids running around and playing, especially my grandpa. If you don't come or bring the kids you can bet you'll hear about it, even at weddings I've seen family members who were the bride and groom get upset when someone didn't bring their kids, couldn't even hide it from their faces, they were hurt, like near tears for the bride hurt.
I know not everyone is like that, but that's how people are on both sides of my family. So if OP's wife's family is like mine, then maybe brother-in-law should just not go, however I'd love to witness everyone tear him a new one if he brought it up at a family reunion while the kids were playing
@@rachelhoyle5728 I think ppl like this resent the attention kids get. Narcissistic.
He told how it was already such a agony to see the kids on holidays? Don't bring them to the next and tell the family members what he said, then sit back...
Yeah the brother-in-law's comment pissed me off. If he hates kids that much then oh, why doesn't he and his wife just stay home?
Story 3. If you are unable to look after your own children then don't have them. No one else is responsible for looking after your offspring. Parenting requires sacrifices OP did it for his children, now the daughter has to do it for her children, it's called the circle of life.
Son-in-Law: "How dare you not prioritize your grandchildren!"
OP: "You mean like you're doing?"
I really dont get this whole thing where parents think the grandparents will step in and provide the main bulk of child-care...
@@SH-qs7ee I know right the nerve of some people
The circle of life😂
The entitlement of people who feel like other people should cook for them to THEIR standards. My friend was having her first child and asked all her family and friends to cook meals for her so she can have a break to focus on her newborn. I thought it was an odd ask but went with it and made a chicken pot pie for her. She NEVER thanked me or acknowledged it. Her HUSBAND texted me send me his gratitude and said he enjoyed it. I learned from a mutual friend of ours that she didn't like it. This is coming from a girl who used to be my roommate claiming she CAN cook and when she tried to make Hamburger Helper, she stood there staring at the ground beef package and asked me what to do! How about trying to open the package for a start?!?! Ugh..glad I cut her off (for non-related reasons)
Wow. Just wow! Even if I don’t like something, I’ll still say thank you because I acknowledge they’ve gone through the effort to make it. That’s kind of you to do that. Chicken pot pie is very good! I’m confused why someone wouldn’t like it.
Story 1: NTA. Don't burn bridges and expect others to repair them or find ways to cross to reach you.
Story 1 NTA Sarah has shown she has no interest in OP or his life. OP is right to decline the invitation.
Story 2 OP's wife was right to block her bil and his wife from her social media. The bil was obnoxious about the baby pictures and thought he could control what pictures were posted on her social media account. I would also have blocked them.
Story 3 OP is NTA. Grandparents are not always able to retire and be available as full time free babysitters.
Story 4 NTA the sil is an entitled witch who didn't appreciate how OP was trying to help her. The sil insulted OP's cooking, ordered take out when she knew OP was already cooking for them. The sil has only herself to blame.
Story 1: NTA. Sara decided to keep the baby after the one night stand. She just wants the gifts and attention. The absolute nerve of her to ask op why when she never showed up for his important events is ridiculous
It sucks that she had a one night stand with a guy who’s a deadbeat, but that’s karma
Amazing an invitation arrives for a baby shower. Showers are events that one is expected to bring a gift for.
@pnorbert2222 So? They're mothers just like the married ones. What about it makes it tacky?
@@pnorbert2222 Oh my god, it's not the 1500's anymore, Norbert. They aren't kings or queens either. Single mothers are just mothers that are single. They aren't fucking villains. Well, except this chick. Because she's just a piece of work. But that has nothing to do with her being a single mother. Nobody actually cares about illegitimate children. Every child is someone's, dude. Just because they were born to an unmarried person, doesn't mean shit these days. Get with the times.
@@pnorbert2222and?
The last comment on the last story made me rage as all hell. I can't meal prep now and couldn't when I had a place, but I liked making things I could eat all day and the next just to save time. A pot of spaghetti was dinner one night for my mother and I, and then all I ate the next day. Chicken teriyaki with rice was the same. If I could meal prep for a month, then gave it to someone, but they threw it all out, I would cut them up one side and down the other. Then they have the balls to ask for two to three times what it cost me to make all that food so they could eat out, oh hell no. Cut the dead weight and run it over with a truck.
Family did that to us on a vacation. We brought food so we could eat some dinners together. Spent a good amount of money and time cooking and freezing it. Then they treated it like it was diet food, my wife is diabetic so she made meals that wouldn't mess with her blood sugar. They were made with ground turkey instead of beef like meat loaf and Salisbury steaks. Wife is a good cook that took time and effort to come up with good tasty recipes for these meals. Never did that again.
My blood boils for what they did to your wife. Tell her an internet stranger thinks she's cool.
I know right, I thought that last comment was a whole other story. I'd have gone no contact for the next three to six months and remain low contact until they have proven they can pull their heads out their butts. Mom too, does her husband know about this (I find too many entitled mother's have regretfully sucked the life out of very good father's, but even if dad is also an entitled prick, most entitled father's hate hearing that one kid wasted money so might still take her side unless she's a golden child. In which case, no contact and remain that way.
I know I was mad at that last story. Naw I'm not giving you a cent to go out to eat. Have they not heard "beggers can't be choosers." The sis and Bil need to stop wasting OP time and money by throwing out food that OP took the time to meal prep.
Title story: NTA. Sister didn't care about any of OP's major life events, but then he does it back to her, and she's "surprised Pikachu face"? LOL OP should have used her words back "It's not a big deal, you'll have more kids riiight?" OP owes her nothing, and frankly her parents suck for enabling this brat. As long as he's giving out truth-tea, he should give the parents some also.
She's constantly partying and ignoring all responsibilities. I doubt she's ready to have a kid or that she actually wants one. I'd bet money that this is a ploy to either get them to raise her kid for her or, if she's not too far along, to get money before having a procedure done. I know it's pessimistic but I know people who had kids and decided to keep them just so they could use them as leverage against their family that cares about the kids.
Gee Sarah, I'm really stressed, can't make it. Besides, I'm sure you'll get knocked up again.
LMAO! I don't care about seeing kids on my social media feed as well, but you know what I did? Scroll passed them! I wouldn't even dream of asking any of my family members or friends what to do with their social media other than advising them to set the post setting to "friends and family" instead of "public" because you know there are a bunch of creeps out there. That BIL is just insane.
Right. I don't care for all the political posts and drama that surrounds it so I just unfollow those people. I'm very grateful for that button since I used to just unfriend! 😂
I just "spring cleaned" my FC account, I unfriended more that 50 people bc most of it were just random people or people with whom I don't want to keep in contact. Easy as that.
I actually really feel this, family to both my husband and I have made their cover photos of their small kids kissing one another (which in my opinion is wrong on its own), and my husband and I hate it because that's public for starters and secondly, there's a lot of creeps out there who get off on that.
@@GabrielleHayes1921 I mean... kisses don't have to be sexual but it's your culture thst made you saw it as something weird to happen between families. But whatever.
Why do people assume their parents will drop everything or inconvenience themselves for the kids? The grandparents did their time figuring it out. Now it is your time. I'm thankful that my son's paternal grandmother loves any time she has with him but I don't expect it.
Exactly
This!
I blame your parents for creating such a monster. But don't worry, because of them babying her, not telling her no, they're the ones who will be watching her kid in there old age. And then expect to be reached out by your parents when they beg you to help watch or pay for your lil sisters children. (Once the first baby comes, party girls have another one right afterwards. Happens every time.)
bil and sil could have blocked the baby pictures avoiding any hard feelings.... IMO think that sil was seeing them and getting baby fever and bil wasn’t having it. He was the one to contact OP with the request to stop posting them. Sil was probably at home and went to look at the baby pics and was like wtf? I think the second call from bil was to cover his tracks and get access back to sil to avoid a fight about having kids.
Not just block on social media....block them in real life...they don't want to deal with children in real life right....so don't go see them at all....treat them as strangers....
@@johnpatricklim4509 exactly but the whole thing was just weird all around did I miss something
@So Over This.... Oh, this makes SO much sense!!!!!
Story 4: It’s her own fault she ran out of money. Just how much did she spend on takeout that she ran out?
It's easy when a custom large pizza and liter of Coke, delivered and tipped, runs $35.00.
Story 3: NTA....they can afford a nanny. I'd personally go that route if I could afford it...you don't go having kids betting on someone else to take care of them for free while you work... stop making plans for other people without actually involving them in the planning process and then getting upset when they don't bend to your will.
SIL and daughter want free child care from grandparents. Tell them to pound sand. You and your wife sacrificed for your children when they was growing up, if they are willing to do it for their children that is not your problem.
If she never cared about you, let someone else support her now. Save your support for friendly relatives. I dumped my entire extended family for this. No regrets.
Send regrets to any invite and use her line - I'm too stressed to come.
Brother-in-law in Story 2 is such a freakin’ coward. He wants to dictate what his own sister should be posting on social media, but doesn’t want to the “bad guy” in situation so he tries to pressure OP into talking to her. Then when his sister sends him a message and calls him out on his behavior, he _still_ doesn’t have the guts to talk to her and whines at OP instead!
On another note, I’m alarmed by the number of stories I’ve seen on Reddit of child-free couples who hold nothing but contempt for children. If you don’t want children, that’s fine, you do you. But it disturbs me the level of vitriol these couples hold towards their nieces, nephews, or just any child in general. Particularly if these children have done nothing wrong and just hated for the fact that they are children.
THANK YOU. Seriously-- The fact that half of reddit's user base think of kids as these subhuman parasitic animals is stupid at best and flat out malicious at worst. Hell, most of the time the kids don't even fucking do anything to be hated except... Exist.
You can't hate someone without a reason unless it's a kid in reddit's eyes, I guess
@@thesquigz616 I think it might be because they suffered trauma from childhood or just terrible people
It reminds me of militant vegans. My way or the highway.
It's a 2 way street though. Many parents are just insistent that their kids be welcome to every event whether kid friendly or not. Also it's tiring being asked when are you going to have kids, don't you want to be a parent, you'll regret not having kids when you get older, who will take care of you when you get old, what about your family's legacy, it's part of God's plan for you to get married and have kids, etc.. Too many people put the pressure on women and men to go out get married and start having kids.
Clearly he couldn't have kids even if he wanted them because obviously he doesn't have any balls.
If someone doesn't want to see your feed.... block them... simple... he could have just unfollowed her.
Your wife slapped tf out of her brother in a sweet and quiet way.
Wow, those parents are audacious to suggest free babysitting and then even retirement.
You teach people how to treat you. She taught you that she is not your sister, that you are not a priority, and that you don’t matter. Send her a letter listing out every single event that she refused to attend, every single time she has let you down, and close the letter by telling her that you have learned the lesson well and will not have anything further to do with her.
Can see op's sister doing a drop and run on op when she "wants" a day, night or weekend off.
First story: And, that, ladies and gentlemen, is the start of another Karen! "Single moms should have it all!"
Re: The OP whose daughter wanted her to keep her children after school. My mom made it crystal clear she had "raised hers" and was not a babysitter when I had my first child. I adjusted accordingly. No big deal. It was my child.
1st story....should have tell her "why would i go to a stranger's baby shower....i don't know you.."
It's how you treat people when you don't need them that counts most.
Edit: What is with this trend of adults running to their parents?
They think they run a helicopter service.
I bet the real why the brother-in-law didn’t want to see baby 👶 pictures is because his wife was started to want kids
My thought too.
I love how he wanted op to tell the wife and not do it himself. He would rather op upset his wife and not the other way.
If that's the case, I hope BIL's wife leaves him so she can pursue this desire.
That's probable. I've had to break up with a woman who got baby fever looking at my cousin's baby photos (I don't want children ever, I'm [expletive] terrified of turning out like my father. He was the scumbag who taught me what hate was. I would swan dive off a cliff before I turned in to him).
@@chaosreaver3597 you did the right thing. That’s a huge incompatibility to have. Kid people should only date other kid people and Vice versa. There are women out there who don’t want kids. There should be a dating app just for people who don’t want them, if there isn’t already. I happen to be a kid person, but I massively understand the people who don’t want them. They are hard work and it’s a thankless job most of the time. But knowing that I did want them-it was a deal breaker if a partner didn’t and that did come up once. He ended up child free forever, which there were a few abortions while he was dating around due to that (I heard). I married someone else and had two kids and it was the best thing for me personally. I’m sure we’re both happier having parted ways before this problem became a huge thing between us. Since it was known early on, I just said goodbye and we parted as friends. No big deal.
Story 2: NTA. They could easily just hide the posts, but noooo. They wanted to be entitled and try to dictate what someone puts on their social media page. So, problem solved. Now you don't have to see anything plus the kids. 🤷🏿♀️
That last comment on the last story, WOW, just WOW!
Story 3: NTA. They’re just upset they aren’t getting free labor. Grandparents are not a free babysitting service, unless they choose to be
Last story, that is unbelievable. 🤯 they threw away all that food and expected someone to fork over $600 a month in addition to the money spent in that frozen food so they could eat at red lobster?!
Lol “they like red lobster” 😆🤣🤣😂 reminds me of the time I offered a homeless guy the carne asada burrito I had just gotten and he said “no thank you I’m vegan” I was shocked for a sec haha
Yup. I had a homeless patient who reported me to the manager because I didn’t serve him a vegetarian breakfast. First, I’m a nurse. I don’t work in the kitchen, and don’t make his meals. 2nd, I just started my shift when dietary delivered the breakfast trays. 3rd, I didn’t give him his tray. I can’t believe it.
Okay homeless people are allowed to not accept everything you give them. Geez, this post drips with condescension. He said "no thank you" You don't know his reasons for being Vegan, there are people that don't eat meat for religious reasons or health reasons, those don't disappear because you become homeless. 🤦🏿♂️
@@tinamoul 🍪
Vegans are gullible morons. Let him stay hungry if he wants to
2 story: that has got to be the most obnoxious and unbelivable thing i have ever heard. Who in their right mind just ask someone to stop doing something on their social media account the fact that bil asked op and not his own sister seems spineless and something op should not be invovled with at all. Seems like a problem 2 siblings need to resolve
so you've never seen the stuff posted on reddit r/chossing beggars? Lucky you. XD
It is ridiculous! People here are wondering if BIL’s wife was getting baby fever so BIL called OP to get him to tell his wife to stop posting baby pics. 🤷🏻♀️
Story 2: How hard can it be to just scroll down the pictures. My facebook is full of mothers, and even though I'm not child free, I don't want to see baby pictures all day. But, you know, I just scroll down and keep going.
"Asked that I respected his decision" ... his decision for OTHER people not post baby pictures. Wut
Is this what you call a male "Karen"…?
Story2: NTA. BiL's got some nerve, trying to dictate what someone else puts on their social media. He can mute her, he can unfollow, he can pluck his eyes out.
Story4: Massive NTA. Wow insulting someone in their own home, then expecting handouts? 3 words: Kick Her Out. She's already got 2 strikes against her, that's 2 too many. Hope husband isn't the weak link/enabler here.
Detail Q: Is there a diff between muting and unfollowing? TIA.
Nta finally somebody thats gives back what was given yo them👍🏾🖐️🖐️
Give them $400-$600 dollars to eat out!? They threw away a month's worth of food because they didn't like cooking!? WHAT THE ACTUAL FLYING... They could have given the food back or specified what they wanted.
First story reminds me of my brother. I don’t exist to him, will barely talk or acknowledge me, and only calls me when it’s by mistake. After some horrible shit he said about our family being done, I’ve given up trying.
Now he wonders why I don’t interact with him. Reap what you sow.
I’m so sorry for you. I have a similar situation between my two kids and it really sucks. My son never calls anyone unless he needs something and he acts like his sister doesn’t exist. They were fairly close as kids and I just don’t get what happened. (Genetically he turned out exactly like my shallow self-centered mother in law who only talks about herself 24/7 and won’t let you get a word in edgewise, he even looks exactly like her instead of my husband (who is a combination of both his parents) or I. He moved out and got a girlfriend and that was the end of talking to his sister much. She feels like you do, hurt and left behind. Once we were somehow all together walking around a store and got separated. He tried to call his sister repeatedly and never got her. Why? She blocked him a year ago. She’s done trying. He still doesn’t realize that she blocked his number. She just said “huh, weird. It never rang. Probably because we’re in a store the reception is bad.”
S3: NTA. “They mentioned they were struggling to maintain a work-life balance…They were hoping my wife and I would watch the kids and drive them to their events…I suggested they hire a nanny and my son-in-law got really self-righteous about us not prioritizing the grandkids.”
First off, if they are struggling to “maintain a work-life balance,” how is YOU watching their kids for them going to make their life any more balanced? If anything, it will make it more UNbalanced on the side of work. Secondly, also in the spirit of balancing work and life, how is hiring a nanny any more balanced than you watching the kids? THEY are still not spending time with their kids, which leaves things unbalanced.
So what they *really* mean is, “I don’t want to stop working to deal with the kids after school, so will you be our free babysitters so I can focus on my career, kthxbye. Wait, what do you mean, no?! But our kids should be the priority (to everyone but ourselves)! Shouldn’t you be retired now anyway? Why don’t you do that? You know most grandparents would be thrilled to spend time with their grandkids, right?! Why can’t you be more like them?”
Harsh? Probably. But they popped out the kids,it is their responsibility to take care of said kids, and that doesn’t just mean financially. One of them can shorten their hours and work half days. They could request a shift change if possible and work opposite hours. They could hire a nanny. But none of their options include demanding someone that didn’t help birth the kid so it for free.
Story 4: NTA, and tell your sister this is a classic example of "Don't bite the hand that feeds you," and tell your in-laws "If I want your opinion on the situation, I'll ask for it. Are you willing to take in SIL? No? Then kindly keep it to yourself." Sister was extremely mean and on a power trip, and it came back to bite her in the butt with her poor financial planning. See also: Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Last one. If you dont have money for food, you are grateful for anything you get. When i was tight on money, i sucked it up and ate what i could afford, and not what i wanted. If you cant plan within your budget, and be grateful of help, you dont deserve extra help. Who orders takeout when they are that strapped for cash
To the last story, I'll give you a catch phrase I've heard my entire childhood.
"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. One day you'll be hungry and wish you had "crappy food" to eat."
Story 3 is hilarious
SIL: you don’t prioritize your grandkids
Also SIL: I can’t care about my kids because I have a job so I want you to babysit for me
On the first story: I'm surprised OP even declined instead of simply not responding.
Though, OP does have a good opportunity to use the "Not a big deal" when they get pushed on it later
Regarding comment at the end: 2 myths:
1 Believe all women!
2 Mothers act in the best interests of their kids and don't have favorites among them!
Stand your ground. Your daughter and her husband are responsible for their childcare plans, not you.
Story 2: " he was already forced to deal with our kids" O M G! I would teach my kids to NEVER even look to their face in their lives!!!! Avoid them at any costs or they might turn into stone!!!
Why is it regarded as "harsh" when you tell people who ask for the truth ... the truth 🤔
Not sister but cousins twins, they tormented me as a child all because I was poor, I don't use tormented lightly my life was hell. Present day they live in my town next to mine (I moved to the states and so did they) one of them have me a crappy apology "I was only playing we were kids" so I'm still no contact with her, on the other hand her sister had....a rather emotional apology, her kid was very sick and she couldn't afford his care( they are both broke af poor life choices or karma?) She quite literally begged on her knees for my forgiveness and my help offering what little she had as collateral and even willing to sign something to work for free for life as I'm quite wealthy now. She was genuinely remorseful as she experienced in her own words "the cold and hunger" honestly I got a few mental illnesses that make me lack empathy, but she managed moved my heart I gave her a big hug and calmed her down, I payed for nephew's treatment plus stuff to help her out (deadbeat dad walked out and fled to guatemala) she lives in one of my rentals she is doing better has a better job (she pays full rent I DON'T give discounts lol) to this day and we have a almost brother and sister relationship, her sister still a B and quite salty that I don't help her or her kids at all.
I didn't come to my cousin wedding too, because I am in college in different city and its not save to going back at night because the road pass by forest and her wedding like in active day, which is a full class schedule. Now after watching this, I feel a as-hole. But I wouldn't feel bad if she also doesn't come to my wedding in future, because I understand everyone have different priority in life.
Second story: the audacity if the BIL is unbelievable
Last story: NTA. If you like take out just say do. Stop wasting people's time and effort, however, take out is on you if you don't like home cooked meals
11:00. LOL, "my wife and I live within striking distance of our parents". That isn't ominous at all!
When I had my kids my mil let it be known that she wasn't going to be watching/babysit our kids. She had her life to live and wanted nothing to do with childcare. We hired a nanny until my kids started school and then, became a SAHP because life does become complicated sometimes.
Story 3. Grandparents are NOT free babysitter’s.
1-they raised there kids already
2-most of us don’t mind watching grandkid once in a while
3- when you get older most of us don’t have the patience we did when we were younger
4-older people enjoy there own company and free time by there self. So grow up and raise your own kids!!!
They've had their time as parents. Let them be grandparents.
@@Vydio
That’s what I am saying. I raised 9 kids there is 23 years between the oldest and the youngest. Love my grandkids but definitely don’t want to take care of them that often.
OOoohh the LAST ONE.... THE COMMENT TALKING ABOUT SISTER THROWING AWAY MONTH WORTH OF FOOD !!! ... OLJMFCIH if that was my family it would have been my dad calli g to TELL me i only have one older sister now and that the other never existed and to not go looking for them. oohhh... we'd alll been in trouble
Seriously, who goes out to eat when he doesn't have money to buy food? And red lobster, I would have bought the cheapest food I could in the supermarket. I would have sweared at my mother and sister.
That last comment should have been their own post.
I can understand the POV of the BIL who didn't want to see baby pictures, because there are some parents out there who don't realize that their new baby (especially the first) is all they talk about. One of my Facebook friends did the same thing - for the first year or so she must have made a thousand posts just about what her baby was doing. It got so boring, especially for childfree me, that I unfollowed her. It was not at all dramatic and we were not close friends so I don't think she ever even noticed. Unfollowing people online is supposed to be a clean way of stemming the tide of useless information ... some people can turn anything into a drama. lol
Oh yes, that's the appropriate thing to do. I did this with quite a few friends who have political action agendas (Note: I don't care about the current president, nor the previous one, and I don't think calling either of them names is really going to help anything).
If you don't want to see pictures of people's kids then that's fine but what you don't have the right to do is tell them what they can or can't do on their accounts like the bil did.
@@seyimajek Totally agree, that's why I didn't. I just unfollowed her, no drama, lol
I read something I like about this kind of thing last year: "It's not an airport, no need to announce your departure". It was talking about people leaving Facebook groups they weren't having fun in, but I think it can be applied to most online things, lol
Nothing more frustrating than to cook a meal for someone who then turns their nose up at it just to be spiteful. NTA at all, don’t cook for them anymore, it’s not worth it.
If you have kids, you take responsibility for them. You don't demand that your parents do it.
Controlling people...stay away from them.
Story 2: wife is such a queen. I love
The sister needs to be prepared to stay single forever unless some simp helps her.
Sister doesn't care about anyone but herself.
We have a open door policy for our kids and siblings. We normally do have leftovers in the fridge and meals in the freezer
1st Story: Can we say Narcissistic? Hmm. So let's get this straight: Sara refuses to give you respect for your life events but expects you to jump and care whether she had a child(out of wedlock, no less!)? She grew up spoiled and entitled but now gets angry when she will no longer be the center of attention? Yep. This is blatantly obvious entitlement on her part.
Story 1. The concept of family first, family forever is just a romanticized hollywood gimmick. The reality is it really depends on the people in your family. If you get along and grow up in a foundation of love and good feelings or even just respect, then it is reasonable to expect preferential treatment for family, maybe making sacrifices for them or to help them. If you don't like your parents or siblings/relatives, then really family is meaningless. It is unreasonable to treat someone like dirt and then expect it to all melt away simply because "family". OP here is NTA, his sister is.
Story 2. If I got a text like that from my BIL, it would lead to some very serious issue between the two of us. Where does someone even get the idea they can control what someone else says, does, thinks, or posts on social media? Social media is something each individual is in full control of, if you don't want to see something, you literally can just not look at it. But I guess that is too inconvenient for an entitled sewer rat.
Story 3. OP, I'm sorry to have to say this, but it seems you failed as a parent and raised an entitled not adult brat. Putting your foot down now seems to her to be unreasonable because you've likely let her walk all over you her entire life. And the son IL piping in like that, unacceptable. Ask him why his parents can't do it? At any rate, NTA and to me your position is reasonable, but good luck dealing with your spoiled entitled daughter. I would bet millions you'll wind up caving.
I LOVE that last comment on Story #3(?)
If YOU are having a problem, then maybe YOU should change YOUR 'work status' to fix it. Instead of implying someone ELSE should!
Finally. Somebody told her the truth.
NTA. Reap meet SOW! Live your life OP!
1. OP should ignore all of her life events, and of course, parents side with her. She wants gifts. 2.Two a-holes that need to be blocked, permanently. it's not about social media, the two hate children. OP should make plans to exclude them from events so they don't hat to "put up" with the kids.
The bil's fucking nerve on that second story, man. Imean, the sheer audacity of that request
First story:
If someone doesn’t have the ability to make important things/people a priority, they won’t make efforts for you. They are not worth your time, NTA.
Second story. You dont like to see it, don't look at it you have no obligation to them. Screw them you did right to block them. Stand by ur wife.
When mommy calls go " oh no am I punished" then come take care of her and her kids, my kids, my house while I go to my room.
For the record, please never stop posting baby and puppy pics on Facebook. I live for them ❤️❤️😆
I always laugh when people think they can tell you what you are allowed to post based on it showing up in their news feed.
If you don’t want to see baby pictures then don’t go to their social media. The request to not post pictures on your own Facebook is ridiculous!
Wow, the problems of rich people. A nanny a live in au-pair. Oh the problems they have. *sigh*
When I became a single mother, my brother and mom were free babysitter for me. When my mother got sick my children and I kept her at home and took care of her so she didn't go to a nursing home.
I hope the parents of the ungrateful, disrespectful, adult children have made arrangements to keep their kids from EVER getting power of attorney over them if they get down, when they are older. Sounds like they have kids who would dump them in a cheap nursing home, sell everything they have and keep the money - period. They should arrange to make sure that, if they ever do become disabled with illness, injury or age, that their kids can't touch anything that they have.
Woman who sister-in-law complains about her cooking ..kick-her-out. Her parents can take them or their other family or friends.
The last story is insane. WHY didn't the sister say this BEFORE she wasted all that food. 🤦♀️ I know rational questions don't work on narcissists but damn. OP needs to cut these losers off.
For the OP whose BIL and wife doesn't likes kids. It's too bad on them because those nieces and nephews will grow up someday and will miss out on having a good relationship with them. You can tell your kids when they are old enough to understand so they can make the decision to have a relationship with uncle and auntie.
Brother in law is afraid that the family is going to offer things to his sister and her family and he won’t get a chance to ask for the same thing or more. He doesn’t care about the kids and I’d talk to the kids about “not bothering” uncle and aunt
I'm amazed how all these kids demand constant babysitting from their parents after their parents were constantly working and still watching them and they didn't learn that from their grandparents always babysitting them.
You'd think instead they'd learn to watch their own kids and raise them, but here we are with more entitled parents from hell
There's a lot of people who like to hide behind the moniker of "child free" when what they really are is "child hate". I understand not wanting children for yourself, but some of these people act as if all the world's problems stem from children while ignoring all the bad things adults do like grape, redrum, cults and all the pollution.
Technically all the terrible things adults do are the fault of their parents for having them...
Yup. And children turn into adults. What is your story, BIL? Did you spring into life fully formed like a Greek god?
@@peteranon8455 respectfully disagree. If you’re speaking of an adult r@ping or murd3ring, the parents don’t get that blame, the adult does. They’re an ADULT. Regardless of their upbringing, they have a brain and basic comprehension of what is good and what is bad. I know wonderful people who were raised by horrible parents. I also know wonderful parents who had bad children. I do agree that parents need to try very hard to be good parents and not just to provide for them materially. They need to be there for them emotionally and make good memories with young children.
@@rachelhoyle5728 I wasn't saying it "morally," more like "cause and effect." As in, if you eliminated Sarah Conner, John Conner wouldn't do what he did.
@@peteranon8455 ah! Gotcha. The error I see with that line of thought is, we have no idea of knowing what John Connor will or will not do, so how would we know to eliminate Sarah?
For example, eliminating Klara Hitler so Adolph Hitler wouldn’t have been born. Klara wanted children (from what I understand) but would never know the things he would do later on in his life. He did both good and bad in his life. We look at the bad and judge him by that. Rightly so. Taking him out of the equation sounds logical, but then what effect would that cause? Would it really be a better move? We would think so, but we don’t really know that for sure. We don’t know all of the variables.
She ain't no single mother, she a baby mama
1st story. Since OP is already a parent before sister got preg there is also another thing you could do to spice the petty revenge
Since you are attending family events, in this case Christmas, make a point that whatever you gift to her kid would be the same thing she gifted yours in the same age.
So... If on the baby's first christmas all she did was give it a 20pack of diapers just gift a 20pack of diapers.
If in second christmas she did not give a present at all give her an empty box "oh look, the same as my kid back then"
If Sara goes on as she has begun, "She'll probably have more kids," so toss her words back at her.
Last story: Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Last story make a giant post of everything you wrote here and say what would you do. Would you keep letting somebody insult you and disrespect you in your home, or would you stand up for yourself. You know how to get her like fish after three days they both stink!And tell mother-in-law you know what feel free to take her.
I raised 6kids, deal with it Sarah
The 2nd story... lol I can relate to the BIL all my friends are having babies right now so they're all posting pics like crazy so it's driving me crazy. Idk why they think we need to see 100 pics a day.. they look exactly the same as they did yesterday. Like a loaf of a bread in a diaper lol I'm not planning on having children of my own so it's even more annoying to me... not a fan. But I think he went a bit too far, if he was that disturbed by it there's ways showing less of some people's posts. Did he not know how to do that? Or did he just want the drama?
Story 3: so OP has to prioritize his grandkids so SIL don't have to do that? WOW!
Take notes. Single mother women at a young age, either a product of spoiled upbringing or daddy problems... Or death.
Story 3: how dare full grown adults expect their parents, who already raised their own children, to take on full responsibility of the grand children. Hell! If you weren’t willing to sacrifice anything, why did you have kids. Grand-parents did their job and now they get to spoil their grand kids not raise them. The fact that they’re not even retired is even worse!