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Emotional & Invisible labour - Why Women Are Fed Up & Tired
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- Опубликовано: 15 авг 2024
- Emotional & Invisible labour - Why Women Are Fed Up & Tired
Do you ever feel like you're on a treadmill of tasks that you often get zero appreciation and respect for? Do you want more respect for the emotional and invisible labour you carry out without a pay cheque?
This video looks at the emotional tax that (most) women pay in life and learn how to get the respect you deserve and how to embrace your feminine power! And get the men in your life to step up and lighten the load.
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Links & Notes
Women Aren't Nags article by Gemma Hartley - www.harpersbaz...
Fed Up Book By Gemma Hartley - www.amazon.co....
Dear Sugars Podcast with Cheryl Strayed & Steve Almond - www.wbur.org/d...
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All of my videos explore the mind and its ability to shape our past, present and future.
Getting to know ourselves better and understanding what makes us tick is the stuff I’ll be getting stuck into here.
FOLLOW ME HERE AS WELL:
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Glad this is getting attention. We're so tired and we need help. This idea of the "strong" women often entails being overworked and exhausted. We deserve better.
We definitely do! Glad it resonated with you x
You asked for it in the 70s, and then a bunch of capitalists saw dollar signs
I have a theory that at least part of the reason the whole 'super mom' 'strong woman' 'super woman' mentality is pushed on us is that it gives men an excuse to keep putting all the emotional labour on us. After all, we're 'strong and amazing' and 'we can handle it' and all that, right? Like..
...like if men stopped pushing the 'super woman' narrative on us, and just said 'yeah we're all just humans', there's wouldn't be this wiggle room to push all the emotional labour on us.
I have had to think about this long and hard, because I've been married to an addict and an alcoholic for 12 long years. I can't imagine a situation more prone to one person jumping in and taking on all the responsibility for another's problems. It's only the past couple years that I see I've lost my entire life, basically, trying to support him/help him/blah blah blah. And all for nothing. He hasn't chagned one bit. All the lying, lack of responsibility, deceipt, hurt, constant broken promises, chaos, all of it is still there. I lost everything - for nothing.
@@Julia-nl3gq so sorry to hear about your situation. Indeed many of us are/were carrying our partners on our backs to the detriment of our health, well-being and life in general. But good that you came to this realization and chose yourself. Wish you all the best 🤗🤗, better days will come.
This makes me glad I'm not in a relationship. Most people these days just try to use you and disrespect you not worth it at all. To many hurt people are running around hurting other people and usually it is an innocent people. Just plain wrong to me.
Hey, thanks for watching. You’re so right - hurt people, hurt people. Lots of inter generational trauma to heal so people can find healthy attachment in their relationships ❤️🙏
I agree, men and women should go their own way.
This is the reason why divorce is on the rise, women have crazy double jobs, at work then go home do it again at home. A roommate contributes more than my ex-husband in household chores. So I decided to be single again! Didn’t get married to get an adult child
I feel you and know you're not alone in this. I hope any future relationships if you choose one, come with a partner who respects your time and does their share both practically and emotionally xoxo
I feel you. I'm going through a divorce because I feel like I'm literally going to die from exhaustion.
@@chuvaam
Here's my 5cents from the otehr side. I feel like I'm about to break if I keep up with my current strain and onoing exhaustion. And my wife keeps complaining I'm not doing enough around the house. Work around the hosue is purely defined as the tasks she performs and sees. Any invisible housework on my part remains... well invisible.
@@bdnnijs192 YES! This! I’m exhausted by the work I do being diminished and only her efforts being recognized. I spend all of my free time taking care of kids and housework. I am an equal share partner, but if the current mood and argument strikes, it’s “omg women are so tired because nobody cares about the work they’re doing”SHUT UP- you can’t see the forest because of the trees! Men feel this way too but that doesn’t feed your narrative.
Feminism brought the expectation for women to be second breadwinners to double the corporate workforce. If you mention it, the built -in gaslight alarm gets triggered. Feminism is kind of like the double-patriarchy
Wow! Thank you for your share. I learned loads. Keep up your awesome shares 🙏😀💃🌞🌍🌌🌠🙏🌈🌞🌍
Thanks so much, you too! Glad to be connected 🙏🏻💗🤗
@@RuthWatsonTV 😊💗🌞🙏💚🌌
I always enjoy your videos, you always choose such interesting topics. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, well said and thought out. Have a beautiful day!
🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃
Thank you so much, I am looking forward to watching your new ego video too - keep up the amazing work. Love from the UK!
Love back from Canada! 🇨🇦 @@RuthWatsonTV
@ Hey Michele 🌞💗💚 small world 🌍😊💃
Haha hey hi Jon!! That is too funny!
🌷🌳🍃🌷🌳🍃@@jonbinnie
Haha - I best start pulling my finger out!!! Thankfully we have a nice balance...
Hope this video sheds more light on the subject helps a few guys step up!
Pull that finger out!
the commodification of emotional labor means the destruction of community, love and the public sphere, nothing to step up to because now everything is capitalism!!
People need to learn to care about each other.
“women are so tired because nobody cares about the work they’re doing” wow, stuff it- this is a situational argument. I do the largest share of household labor and childcare, not because I feel indebted, but because it’s right- you can’t see the forest because of the trees! Men feel this way too but that doesn’t feed your narrative.
my sociology lecturer recommended that we watch this video to gain a better understanding of the topic we have to write an essay on it
This is so good to hear and hope it’s helped!
@@RuthWatsonTVit honestly did so much from the first year sociology students at the university of cape town thank u so much
@@anuskaswartz7563 That’s really made my day!
Interesting topic, thanks for sharing 🌸🙏
Om Shaanti Meditation So glad you enjoyed it! xoxo
Ruth I really enjoyed your emotional & Invisible Labour video how we all should try to appreciate & support one another 🙏🌟
the cognitive invisible labor of men
Hey new supporter here 👋🏻
When my daughter comes to me with a story of how person X has done her wrong. I encourage her to tell the same story with her name switched for person X's. If the story seems silly or ridiculous there is probably something she could change about how she is thinking about it. If the story seems to make sense from both perspectives then maybe there is something that both could recognize about the other that would be a good thing.
House work and child care. OMG! Its unrelenting. We had 3 girls in 3 years. One of the 3 kids could mess up 3 just dried cloth diapers in one change despite having had the chat with her and her assuring me that she was done. Two hours of cooking can be consumed in fifteen minutes or it may not get eaten at all. Later on the school lunches that come home totally intact with the exception of one bite out of the home made square that the teacher wouldn't let her eat because it wasn't labelled peanut free. Its enough to make Steven King cringe.
I dealt with most of that for the first 5 years while my wife worked in a nursing home. She was expected to get 5 residents up and ready for breakfast in 17 minutes all the while being kind and caring. She had to deal with being perpetually under staffed while trying to give a few moments of quality time to a crying resident who only wanted to know why her long deceased husband was not coming to take her home. I couldn't have done that job. I can only imagine how soul sucking a 12 hour shift of that must have been so I tried to take care of things so my wife wouldn't have to when she got home.
My wife came home one morning after a night shift and said "I feel so left out. You do everything. I'm missing out on my kid's lives." I was stunned. I had no idea. I was just trying to help. She quit her job and stayed home with the kids and I got a job on a golf course.
I think both of us found out that the grass wasn't as green on the other side as the fence lead us to believe.
If you are still reading, I award you 43 Brownie Points.
When we got home with our first baby and the breast feeding wasn't working and the pump we borrowed from the hospital wouldn't work and we all cried for two hours, I decided to get a "good " breast pump like the hospital uses. I found out that was $1400 so I built one out of a VW wiper motor, two pop cans, a transformer and a piece of mahogany that worked off of batteries, the car or house current. We didn't have a wash machine for all those diapers so I found 3 that were thrown out and made one that worked. I made a huge folding cloths rack that sat over our floor furnace that I also built. I cut, hauled, cut up, split and piled in wood as our only source of heat. I plowed our driveway, replaced wheel bearing, glow plugs, alternators, mounted snow tires and checked the oil, windshield washer, antifreeze, brake fluid and tire pressure so everything was ready when my wife had to go to work.
My wife never expressed interest in learning how to drive the tractor to help with the snow plowing or hauling wood. She never came in the house after her 12 hour shift and told me she filled the lawn mower with gas or sharpened the chain saw or checked to see if anything was broke on the tractor so any of those machines would be ready to go if I got a couple of hours to do anything. She never told me that she seen a set of metric ratcheting wrenches in the hardware store that would be great for getting those glow plugs replaced on the car.
Would this be my invisible labour? My spouse didn't help with any of it. Should I have expected her to? Should I feel Fed UP? Would all the men laugh knowingly if I said that I felt unappreciated because my wife doesn't automatically know that the windshield washers aren't working because the reservoir is empty and I'm sure the way to fix it is to keep nagging her about it?
Now if you think all of this is silly and ridiculous I refer you to my first paragraph.
So glad I never had kids. Nothing more appealing than adding children on top of a grown man child . 🙄
This is how I feel too, and women who ahve husband who don't share the load have another child.
Your HAIR is blocking my view sweet cheeks
…..it’s Labour to hold in all your issues with your pattern and wait for him to start reading your mind …yes….it’s not Mature
Partner
It’s funny that AT NO POINT IN HISTORY…have MEN ever complained about THEIR ROLE….THAT is where our incredulity comes from as men in the face of childish nonsense like this
The thing is women went into the workforce but men (largely) didn't balance this out by taking on house/ family work.
You didn't complain because you're not the one burdened
Watch this crazy broad with the sound off….she looks like she’s having a seizure