Arashi Vallerioda It's called [ *MALLIGRO MAN* ]. It makes it so that any monetary transaction you make, you always end up getting refunded with more cash than you gave up. So it builds up to a point where you are buried alive by your own money. The only way to get rid of the curse is to get someone to take money off you. Thing is, all your bills' serial numbers end up ending in 13, so everybody knows you're the guy with the curse and thus they don't want any money from you, and end up giving you more. So you have to trick people into taking your money.
Assuming the bills in the bag are $500 bills I would take 1 single bill and leave the rest for two reasons. A: A $500 bill is easily hidden in a wallet. B: Taking 1 $500 bill just to fuck with whoever the bag was meant for. Because when he/she gets it counted it will com out to $49,999,500.
No idea if the police would reward Narc behavior, but that's the only option. Also, if you boat off to a hypothetical island that no one knows you can't spend your fucking money.
Yeah! I know, right? You have to deposit that shit first. And then if someone has THAT much money to throw around, they'd probably report a few serial numbers and the moment you start going ape-shit and trying to buy stuff online, then it defeats the purpose of the island to begin with because if anyone delivers ANYTHING to you or if you hook up a computer or whatever, then that shit can be tracked! Like the moment you try to use that money in any way at all, assuming you're running through most or all of it, you are statistically fucked!
I don't think I'd have the balls to take more than a single note, and even then I wouldn't take it from a duffle bag full of money I found in a public toilet. If I found a $100 dollar note lying in the street, I'd probably keep that. But that's as far as I'd be willing to go. Fuck, now I think about, I wouldn't even touch the bag in the first place. A bag abandoned in a public place? That could be a bomb for all I know. I'd call the cops for sure.
Well to be fair to the Coworkers, if you're sitting in that bathroom with potentially the rest of your life in luxury staring back at you, it's gonna be REAL fuckin hard to walk out with nothing.
Yeah, it's real easy to say you would or wouldn't take it when 50 *million* is in front of you. I would probably take a handful to be quite honest but even I don't know.
If I'm walking into the bathroom, that means I gotta go, right? So I'd just piss in the bag as a prank. Then the person who's supposed to pick it up opens the bag and thinks "man, it smells like piss in this bathroom. Makes sense." Then when they go home and open it up they realize "AH SHIT, IT'S THE MONEY!!"
I would take the bag and leave a note saying come to X for your money In there, I will sit Naked, armed with hotline Miami music playing. Either I die like a badass, I live rich or I get to join whatever cartel owns the money based on the sheer size of my balls.
yeah, but then you won't be able to commit serious crimes as a super villian, and take the fight to those that lost the money in the first place. Create more crimes to stop crimes.
The play is not an island. You put the money in plastic wrap, a waterproof double-sealed chest, chain, padlock, anchor, toss it in water less than 40 feet deep. While waiting for the heat to die down, get your scuba diving certificate.
Bet it all on one round of blackjack. If you lose, go home and sleep the night off. If you win live the highest life ever for a couple weeks until you get disappeared...or become batman
there is no thousand dollar bill. not anymore. in order to fit "two hundred k" into your pocket, every pocket on your body would be exploding with bills
I'm 💯 just leaving and not touching the money and not telling anyone about that shit. As far as I'm concerned that bag doesn't fucking exist. And anyone who asks about it is gunna get a "what bag? 50 mill, no way" answer
Elijah Nakumura depends because like if someone dropes an ounce or 4 ill smoke that right in the bathroom,but like a dufful bag is like a good 6 pounds if compressed and lets not even get started on medibles and concentrates
Sabori sauce My philosophy is this, if it's a duffle or anything large like that. Leave that shit alone. Now if you walking down the street and see a "sealed" baggy then go for it. I'd still be skpetical over smokin something I found tho
I'd just take the whole bag, fuck it. If they don't physically see me leaving with it and follow me, I'm in the clear. Keep the bag with all the bills at home or in a storage locker, and deposit it bit by bit into my bank account monthly while maybe having some bills in my wallet as pocket change. Maybe $2000 a month in my bank account at most, pass it off as a job I'm working. Live the rest of my life in comfort while spending as much as I want. Good shit.
My take would be since I carry a sling bag, just take whatever I would account as "safe" and go, a few thousand in 50,000,000 is not going to be noticed faster than you can paranoiacally hide and have a panic attack. If I was really just fuck it, take the bag, balls to the wall get somewhere and throw the money to a massive crowd and swarm of people, or even better be in the crowd when you shout out the money and throw it in a hail of bills.
But then what if it's like something the police were doing and they look into the bag and they're like "Wait, we're missing a couple thousand. That dude who we know was at the scene must have done it!"
+rames bams Good luck managing to lie to the cops under an intense interrogation because having someone fuck with their dropoff isn't exactly a small thing that they'd just not care about.
jenkind1 $10,000 is a sum that anyone who's actually credibly threatening wouldn't bother with. If you're stealing millions of dollars, that means the person on the other end has likely made these kinds of deals in the past, is heavily wealthy, and totally has the resources to fuck your shit up. The less money involved, the less likely the players handling it are 'beheadings as recreation' death squads or cops.
i think its way riskier to take a thousand from the 10k than 500k from the 50 mil. criminals who are fighting over 10k have way more reason to find you over 1k, criminals who leave 50 mil probably wont care that much or assume it was an insult from the other party rather a civilian 3rd party fucking with them.
Y'see, I'm kind of a boy scout when it comes to shit like this, so I'd probably turn it in immediately. However, I would ask the police if I could keep at least $5 million.
I'd take a bit of cash. If its out in the open, you cant fucking prove that of all the people that came in that bathroom that I'm the one that took that cash. And whoever did leav it doesn't have some magic powers that allow them to trace the small amount of money I stole. and if they did they wouldn't want to go through the trouble over a fraction of the cash in the bag. People who are too scared to take anything from the bag watch too many movies imo.
"you cant fucking prove that of all the people that came in that bathroom that I'm the one that took that cash" Unless: 1. There are look outs 2. There are cameras inside the restaurant 3. They keep a record of everyone who dined in that evening and can keep tabs on anyone who might have used that bathroom 4. The bills are marked
"NO ONE IS GONNA LET 50 MILLION WALK AWAY FROM THEM"?
You guys ever heard of KONAMI!?
I thought kojima was only worth 30 mil
It's been six years and this is still hilarious
"Yes, police? I found a duffel bag filled with around $45 million dollars in a bathroom."
I imagine the cop on the other side of the line looking around and fiddling with his gun. "Really? Have you... told anyone else about it?"
Mantis47 cops don’t answer calls and even if they did they are recorded.
Presumably the theoretical would have you taking it to airport security.
Tuskor police: how do you know its $45 million?
Me: educated guess
"Wow, 30 million dollars eh?"
"Yes sir, 15 million dollars! Crazy huh."
I would put some of my Money into the bag just to fuck with them.
Oh, that's great. Someone at the dead drop is gonna be weirded the *hell* out.
LieutenantAmerica throw a gift card to blockbuster in there too.
Why is there 3-months of World of Warcraft Subscription Time in the drop-off bag?!
Put in a bunch of pogs.
"Why is there $50 more in the bag that's supposed to just have $50 mil?" Frankie the mobster asked.
A bag with 50 million$ in it?
THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY STAND
that's kinda sorta a Stand in Part 8.
+amazingfan15 I'm honestly not even surprised at this point.
Arashi Vallerioda It's called [ *MALLIGRO MAN* ]. It makes it so that any monetary transaction you make, you always end up getting refunded with more cash than you gave up. So it builds up to a point where you are buried alive by your own money. The only way to get rid of the curse is to get someone to take money off you. Thing is, all your bills' serial numbers end up ending in 13, so everybody knows you're the guy with the curse and thus they don't want any money from you, and end up giving you more. So you have to trick people into taking your money.
It's Milagro Man
bring it on top of a tall building and make it rain
It worked in Yakuza 4
This is objectively the best response. Everybody benefits, and if there's a tracker in the bag you just leave it on top of the building
Assuming the bills in the bag are $500 bills I would take 1 single bill and leave the rest for two reasons.
A: A $500 bill is easily hidden in a wallet.
B: Taking 1 $500 bill just to fuck with whoever the bag was meant for. Because when he/she gets it counted it will com out to $49,999,500.
I don't think we even HAVE a $500 bill. I've never seen one before, at least. Or even heard of one. If it exists i'd be happy to be proven wrong.
sorry to thwart your plans but the highest denomination of US bills is $100
I'd probably grab a brick or two and bail. A couple thousand.
This is either the work of The Milagro Man, or worse.
Fuck no! I don't want creepy Javier Bardem to chase me for a long time.
On the other hand, I wouldn't mind being called "friendo"
No idea if the police would reward Narc behavior, but that's the only option. Also, if you boat off to a hypothetical island that no one knows you can't spend your fucking money.
Yeah! I know, right? You have to deposit that shit first. And then if someone has THAT much money to throw around, they'd probably report a few serial numbers and the moment you start going ape-shit and trying to buy stuff online, then it defeats the purpose of the island to begin with because if anyone delivers ANYTHING to you or if you hook up a computer or whatever, then that shit can be tracked!
Like the moment you try to use that money in any way at all, assuming you're running through most or all of it, you are statistically fucked!
Not to mention the IRS gets really pissed off when you somehow managed to buy a 10 million dollar home on your hourly wages
You know what is going on? LEFT
I don't think I'd have the balls to take more than a single note, and even then I wouldn't take it from a duffle bag full of money I found in a public toilet.
If I found a $100 dollar note lying in the street, I'd probably keep that. But that's as far as I'd be willing to go.
Fuck, now I think about, I wouldn't even touch the bag in the first place. A bag abandoned in a public place? That could be a bomb for all I know. I'd call the cops for sure.
Well to be fair to the Coworkers, if you're sitting in that bathroom with potentially the rest of your life in luxury staring back at you, it's gonna be REAL fuckin hard to walk out with nothing.
Yeah, it's real easy to say you would or wouldn't take it when 50 *million* is in front of you.
I would probably take a handful to be quite honest but even I don't know.
plus, you know, the personnel that set the money there could be in the immediate area.
If I'm walking into the bathroom, that means I gotta go, right? So I'd just piss in the bag as a prank.
Then the person who's supposed to pick it up opens the bag and thinks "man, it smells like piss in this bathroom. Makes sense." Then when they go home and open it up they realize "AH SHIT, IT'S THE MONEY!!"
A 100 dollar note is 0.8 grams. 50 million would weigh 400kg (or 880 lbs) if it was in 100s.
I would take the bag and leave a note saying come to X for your money
In there, I will sit
Naked, armed with hotline Miami music playing.
Either I die like a badass, I live rich or I get to join whatever cartel owns the money based on the sheer size of my balls.
Tara Sipylus
I like the way you think
Do 50 million worth of PCP and get a pawnshop baseball bat and wait.
And then dude from Hotline Miami show's up: "Oh! You're already playing my music for me!" As he merks you.
That's dope.
Yeah, I'll take like around 50000, then leave the entire bag with the remaining, 50,000 is good for a number of years
You take like two millions and run, by the time someone figures they are short on cash they'll blame someone else
1:08 You want to live rich, but would be willing to live in solitude. THEN WHAT'S THE POINT OF BEING RICH?!
yeah, but then you won't be able to commit serious crimes as a super villian, and take the fight to those that lost the money in the first place. Create more crimes to stop crimes.
The play is not an island. You put the money in plastic wrap, a waterproof double-sealed chest, chain, padlock, anchor, toss it in water less than 40 feet deep. While waiting for the heat to die down, get your scuba diving certificate.
Bet it all on one round of blackjack. If you lose, go home and sleep the night off. If you win live the highest life ever for a couple weeks until you get disappeared...or become batman
there is no thousand dollar bill. not anymore. in order to fit "two hundred k" into your pocket, every pocket on your body would be exploding with bills
Take the money and leave a note saying "Sorry, you've lost your cash due to thuggery."
I'm 💯 just leaving and not touching the money and not telling anyone about that shit. As far as I'm concerned that bag doesn't fucking exist. And anyone who asks about it is gunna get a "what bag? 50 mill, no way" answer
Also what the fuck am I even gunna do with 50 mill? Like if I start buying shit people are gunna start asking how do I have money for it
That bag in a bathroom scenario fuck that. Some random guy droppin weed? I'd pick it up THEN make that left.
Elijah Nakumura depends because like if someone dropes an ounce or 4 ill smoke that right in the bathroom,but like a dufful bag is like a good 6 pounds if compressed and lets not even get started on medibles and concentrates
Sabori sauce My philosophy is this, if it's a duffle or anything large like that. Leave that shit alone. Now if you walking down the street and see a "sealed" baggy then go for it. I'd still be skpetical over smokin something I found tho
I'd just take the whole bag, fuck it. If they don't physically see me leaving with it and follow me, I'm in the clear. Keep the bag with all the bills at home or in a storage locker, and deposit it bit by bit into my bank account monthly while maybe having some bills in my wallet as pocket change. Maybe $2000 a month in my bank account at most, pass it off as a job I'm working. Live the rest of my life in comfort while spending as much as I want. Good shit.
You grab few and report it. Just a few bundles, like 2.
My take would be since I carry a sling bag, just take whatever I would account as "safe" and go, a few thousand in 50,000,000 is not going to be noticed faster than you can paranoiacally hide and have a panic attack.
If I was really just fuck it, take the bag, balls to the wall get somewhere and throw the money to a massive crowd and swarm of people, or even better be in the crowd when you shout out the money and throw it in a hail of bills.
What you actually do is zip it open, dig your hand in and stuff some hundreds in your pockets, zip it back up and walk out.
"Life is forfeit" - bet
i'd take a few bills and give the rest to the cops
Yeah, take like a stack and then report a "suspicious bag" left in the bathroom.
But then what if it's like something the police were doing and they look into the bag and they're like "Wait, we're missing a couple thousand. That dude who we know was at the scene must have done it!"
that's why you leave before they get there and hide the cash
if they ask you about it, just pretend you don't know shit
+rames bams
Good luck managing to lie to the cops under an intense interrogation because having someone fuck with their dropoff isn't exactly a small thing that they'd just not care about.
ey man, i dunno what to tell you. i didn't touch the bag. must've been somebody else
But MY POCKETS
2 words:
Fuck
That
You would take the risk for LESS money...?
Because there's less RISK. At least in Pat's mind
No, stealing from cartel soldiers is the same risk of beheading, you just have less to gain from it.
I'm not disagreeing with you, I'm just trying to explain Pat's logic.
As an aside, how would anyone instantly know a bag has $30 million in it?
jenkind1 $10,000 is a sum that anyone who's actually credibly threatening wouldn't bother with. If you're stealing millions of dollars, that means the person on the other end has likely made these kinds of deals in the past, is heavily wealthy, and totally has the resources to fuck your shit up. The less money involved, the less likely the players handling it are 'beheadings as recreation' death squads or cops.
i think its way riskier to take a thousand from the 10k than 500k from the 50 mil. criminals who are fighting over 10k have way more reason to find you over 1k, criminals who leave 50 mil probably wont care that much or assume it was an insult from the other party rather a civilian 3rd party fucking with them.
Y'see, I'm kind of a boy scout when it comes to shit like this, so I'd probably turn it in immediately. However, I would ask the police if I could keep at least $5 million.
Well i always wears cargo pants so put as much as i can in my cargo pockets and get out ans dont say a word. Nobody seen nothing. I aint seen nothing.
Take the money and run. Simple as that.
Any podcast without Matt is a quality podcast.
Get the fuck out of here
true, matt is the absolute worst. have you seen his cringy as fuck solo channel?
Shiggy Diggy i enjoy his nightmare stories on game testing.
Oh my god it's Liam all over again
He' still better than Liam. To be fair, anything is better than Liam.
Take like 10 bills, walk away.
I'd take a bit of cash. If its out in the open, you cant fucking prove that of all the people that came in that bathroom that I'm the one that took that cash. And whoever did leav it doesn't have some magic powers that allow them to trace the small amount of money I stole. and if they did they wouldn't want to go through the trouble over a fraction of the cash in the bag.
People who are too scared to take anything from the bag watch too many movies imo.
Also why the fuck would you report it to the police? lol
If it's a police drop, they'd almost certainly have cameras
"you cant fucking prove that of all the people that came in that bathroom that I'm the one that took that cash"
Unless:
1. There are look outs
2. There are cameras inside the restaurant
3. They keep a record of everyone who dined in that evening and can keep tabs on anyone who might have used that bathroom
4. The bills are marked
Skim 50 grand and leave the rest there