Being a New Parent is Hard | Compilation
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2022
- The first 1,000 people to use the link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/scishowpsych06221
From the baby blues to helping your toddler through a temper tantrum, many things can make being a new parent a hard time for you and your child, but a bit of science can help us navigate this period of life.
Hosted by: Hank Green
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Original Episodes:
Why Having a Baby Can Cause Depression in Both Parents
• Why Having a Baby Can ...
Heads-Up: Depression Isn't the Only Postpartum Disorder
• Heads-Up: Depression I...
What Parental Burnout Looks Like (and How to Avoid It)
• What Parental Burnout ...
The Secret World of Temper Tantrums
• The Secret World of Te...
When Do Kids Develop Empathy?
• When Do Kids Develop E...
The first 1,000 people to use the link will get a 1 month free trial of Skillshare: skl.sh/scishowpsych06221
Ive heard stories from moms who said when they reported PPD to their doctor and next thing they knew CPS was knocking at their door, so many of us are afraid to get help for a mental illness because we are afraid to have our kids taken from us
I had pretty severe PPD. I told my doctor and we took care of it. Doctors aren't supposed to share medical information with anyone. I think the "stories" you've heard are fictional. If you are a new parent and have onset of mental illness, get medical help. Don't delay.
Four months postpartum here. I actually had a s u i c i d e attempt last week 🙃 (gotta space out the letter so hopefully RUclips won’t get mad at me. Also I’m doing better now. Still have PPD, but doing better) and there has been zero CPS. My mom watched my son while I was in the hospital for 14 hours with my sons father there with me. 14 hours is an extremely short amount of time to be in the hospital for an attempt, but my psychiatrist knows me very well and knew that when I said over that phone “I’m okay now. If I get bad again, i will go to the ER instead of hurting myself” so she was able to call the ER doctor and get me out of the hospital so I didn’t have to go to the psych floor. Since then, I’ve been home and getting a bit more help. CPS was not called. I will say that the ER trip was a shitshow. They didn’t get me a breast pump for 12 hours, took my phone which made it where I couldn’t check up on my son, and didn’t let my fathers son come back until an hour after I had been there. They also wouldn’t call my psychiatrist until my mom called my sons father and he gave me the phone to talk to her and after hearing how everything was, she called up and screamed at the ER people. I felt bad for them but they weren’t listening to me at all. So definitely should reach out to your ob/gyn, primary care doctor, or psychiatrist before it gets to the point of needing to go to the ER
Recovering from PPD & a partner with continuing anxiety - we constantly remind ourselves when we make eye contact with our kid to “be present”. (We don’t feel like we have a lot of support outside of each other so we don’t have the “luxury” of things like grandma has a sleepover once in a while. Those events actually usually create more stress than relief.)
I also love watching our now young child continue to learn how to communicate & “be a human”.
It is so much easier to not get upset when I think of temper tantrums that way. (Not 100% fool proof - that’s when we have the other parent take over if possible.)
My sisters husband went through this with his first wife when they had their first child, post partum depression. She was unable to take care of the baby or herself and couldn’t be left alone with the baby. He basically became a single father taking care of a newborn and his wife while also working. «Luckily» he ran his own business and was thus able to mostly work from home. But it was a horrible time. A time where everyone is excited for you and is congratulating you and expecting you to be super happy. While at the same time father is burning out and wife is nearly suicidal with a little baby thrown in 😑 They got through it but waited 6 years before having a second child. It was so traumatic. Luckily they had a solid support network of friends, neighbours and family that would try their best to help out, bring food, clean up and babysit. A close network is soooo important and going to therapy. It went ok with their second child, though they divorced two years later for other reasons. Luckily with all the hard work by everyone (therapists, neighbours,friends, family and themselves), ex wife and kids ended up well. But it required HARD work!
A few years ago I worked in a nursery. The kids I was looking after ranged in age, but this day I was looking after kids between 3 and 4. There was a little girl, Olive, who had started that day and was very shy. She didn't join in with the other kids was kind of just sat on the steps warily. A little boy called Flynn noticed, and I watched them from afar as he looked at her, looked at his friends playing behind, and went over to her. He sat down next to her, and he started singing songs to her. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen, and from that day on they were friends. I could cry, it was adorable the way he saw she was on her own and went to cheer her up
10:08 "Talk with your doctor before giving birth" I feel like the world would be a much less conflict-filled place if all parents thought carefully and spoke with a health care professional before giving birth. It's a nice idea though
How in the HELL would talking to your doctor before giving birth prevent nigh-brain dead incompetent politicians from insulting and stealing from each other? Lmfao. What a seriously naive comment hahahaha lmfao.
But...doctors don't care....
I had my first child in 2020 early in my pregnancy I was making plans with my mom and mother in law to come to my house and help. By the time my baby was born we were in full pandemic and my husband and I had no support. Nobody even brought a meal over for fear of infecting the baby. My husband and I both had some pretty severe anxiety and depression especially in our daughter’s first year.
I am curious to see the numbers for PPD in 2020 because I know my story is a common one. I’m assuming it will be record highs.
37 and my neglectful abusive mother still _says_ that I'm having a tantrum if I get angry & threatened me daily during school times that she's throw a bucket of water on me if I didn't get up now.
She doesn't understand why I refuse to have any contact with her. These horrible things being normalized made some people horrible & not realize it, because it's "normal".
Funny that you're going to blame your mom for your negative attitude when it is your reaction to what would have left you a lazy slug if she hadn't done it. I'd rather my kids hate me and live successful, comfortable lives then to be the type of person that complains about things from their couch but never does anything.
Even the way you react to her now you owe to her, your other lifestyle would have been being upset at her for not making you get up and do stuff but forgiving her as soon as she brings you fast food.
@@DarthObscuritywow, you're the worst. I really hope you don't have kids
The biggest thing is the lifestyle change as a man. Before having a kid, I could do what I wanted when I wanted, of course I’d run it past my wife but for the most part I had freedom. When you have kids, that window shrinks. Every time you go to have fun or do something, you’ve left your wife alone to watch the baby. The guilt will destroy you. So you do much less, and spend more time helping with the baby and keeping the house in order. It gets better when the kids hit 3-4 years because they’ll want to hangout with you and they don’t need as much constant attention. The sleep deprivation only lasts 3-4 months if you know how to create a good sleep pattern for your baby. But the first 3 months is really really rough. For both parents.
We get little to no help from anyone so often times we feel like we are alone in the middle of a storm on an island. But we’ve just gotten used to it.
All this to say if you can hold it together and push through, and try your best, you will be given a great gift. The rewarding experience of watching your little ones grow and learn something new each day. And then one day they look at you and say, “daddy , I love you” and it’s all worth it.
I had post partum depression after I had my first baby. I knew I had it, but at the same time I denied having it to myself. I felt ashamed and I felt like a horrible mother. So I wouldn't admit it. I thought people would judge me and think I was a bad mother. So I wouldn't accept it.
Now I understand it better, I wish I would've told my OB/GYN. I think everything would have been better if I had talked to my Dr.s about it.
I think post partum depression is possibly partly the reason why new parents kill their babies. They get frustrated and sometimes shake, drop, throw, etc the baby. If it is a factor than most likely they didn't mean to hurt/kill their baby.
Even if you don't have post partum depression, new parents are usually sleep deprived. They get frustrated because the baby is cry. However, babies can sense their parents emotions. So if a parent gets frustrated then, oftentimes, the baby senses their parents are upset so they get even more upset.
Don't feel guilty for your emotions, usually they're normal. If you find yourself getting frustrated, either have someone take over for a little while so you can calm down.
You may not always have someone that can care for the baby for a short time. If this is the case, then sit or lay the baby down in a safe place where they can't get hurt or anything.
Then step out of the room. Stay close enough so you can hear them and get to them gast if you need to. But give yourself a time out for a couple of minutes. Let the baby cry a little bit. It won't hurt them.
Don't be hard on yourself. Don't feel guilty. Talk you g 6y u
My fiancé most definitely has PPD but she doesn’t want to get help.. it’s really starting to put a strain on my relationship with her. I have a history of depression myself but I have been seeing a therapist for years and have been putting in the work.. But All the mood swings and getting mad at me for the smallest things is starting to get old. I’ve always supported her but sometimes it feels like I can’t get through one day without something happening. I’m really trying my best but maybe I wanna feel like I’m enough sometimes. I love her and our child more than anything but it’s hard
I am sorry you are going through this and your partner refuses to get help. I had PPA and in part due to the pandemic and in part due to stubbornness it took a while for me to get treatment. My husband and I are both in therapy and couples therapy and I am on meds. We are trying to work things out for our family. My daughter was born in the summer of 19 so my mental illness was not helped by the craziness of 2020 and 2021 and my poor work from home husband was stuck in the house with my crazy. I hope eventually your partner gets help but also make sure to take care of yourself.
The man in the red sweater is NOT BLINKING!!!
I miss Brit in SciShow Psych. She was great.
Many thanks 💙
Super engaging delivery, nobody else does it like her
Hank Green is a legend
"Chop chop, science!" 👏👏
Not me getting emotional
Fatherless+L+Don't care+No one asked
It seems we need to return to the sleep schedule pof the ancestors and babies. It was roughly dusk to dawn (night owls and morning larks) roughly 7-8 hours sleep, with a waking period in the middle if the night is longer
Would have appreciated PPD in the title, as I came here looking for advice for new parents where one parent is ADHD, as this is causing excruciatingly gigantic tensions in my relationship with my non-ADHD partner... This seems to be a known thing if you go looking for it, but not a VERY well-known thing (and was certainly an unpleasant surprise to me)
Super excited to watch this while I'm excpeting my first baby...
Happy Super Month. 👩🏿🦰
i wish there was a mention of parent groups that are larger than 2 in the groups left out in the first clip. im realistic and know there wont be as many resources for my two partners and myself when we start having kids, but i'd still like to think someone is thinking about parents who aren't just "couples"
It would be even easier...... More people raising a kid the easier it is......
Chop chop science 💃
Unrelated comment here. What is it in the human psyche that makes us want to cook extra so we have leftovers, but we never want to eat the leftovers?
17:27
Pain
As if i needed more reasons to not have kids
21:24 When my kids were 2+ and threw tantrums or would whine. I'd tell them, calmly and slowly, that I don't understand what they're trying to tell me (I especially did this for whining. They didn't throw tantrums very often). I'd say "I don't understand the whiney-talk" and I'd have them take slow deep breaths that we'd hold for a second or 2 then release.
Then when they are calmer and can speak normally, id have the tell me what was wrong.
This didn't work all the time. Especially when they were younger. Yet, as they grew older they started doing this on their own.
Therapy and medication doesn’t do anything about the sleep deprivation. This is systemic and the system doesn’t work. Humans are social but we live isolated lives and work too much.
do u know brain wave therapy meachine
👍✌
Babysitting friends and family member's kids before trying to have kids helps .
Mm.. i honestly dont think so. You may know how to change a dipper, but not how to get over a depressive episode.. 😶
@@Phd366 it helps by training your brain to associate care giving with joy.
need licenses for that
Hormones- women- WOMEN !!!!! Jesus 😂
First
Good thing I’m not a parent and don’t want kids or want a partner at all. It would be a big waste of my time, my money and my energy if I had either one. I’m a free person.
What if brain is for consciousness and what if consciousness is more basic.
And fetuses are conscious.
And can't the people around you not because how do you know your not the only conscious being.
How can pariadolia be falsified
Maybe depression is just a natural reaction to realising you made terrible mistake.
Lmaoo
Being a new parent is way easier then being a parent for over a decade, especially to multiple kids. I'd like to slap someone in the face for the title of this episode because comparatively, it's gravy.
The title doesn’t say that being a new parent is *harder* than being an experienced one, just that being a new parent is hard in itself. Maybe it was easy for you, but telling new parents that everything should be easy for them seems very dismissive.
Got to love the intro telling science to hurry up on same sex couples and trans parents. Lets be real, its only biological women and men who can create babies.
7 + billion people on he Earth, can't be that hard.
When schools are run by the anti life part hell bend on reducing population mandating heart attacks and liver Failures.
And only reasons America didn't make Quarantine camps like Australia is Because America has AR15s and Australia Canada china North Korea. Russia. El Salvador Honduras Venezuela don't
What a ridiculous comment
Please if you haven't asked Jesus to forgive you please do God bless you all 😇
Take your preaching elsewhere please.
What you believe is your own business. It is rude and inconsiderate to evangelize, please don't do that.